InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Mourning of the Bloody Valentine ❯ Our Eye Opener ( Chapter 37 )

A/N: Greetings and Merry Christmas! Shalom! Happy Hanukkah! Happy New Year too! Hope everybody's doing well and enjoying their well-earned holidays!! I'd like to thank some of my reviewers for reviewing; you people drive me to keep typing away like some runny-nosed otaku!

Sakura-Maylo-G! You've been great since the beginning! You've reviewed for every chapter and kept me going, and when this story comes to an end, which it will in about 5 chapters, and you will definitely be honored for your greatness!

Kaitlin Moore: Since I personally know you and we go to the same school, its safe to say…you have no life. Yes, K-chan, I meant it! Whahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa! Okay, I'm joking! Thanks for reviewing, No-chan! You rock!

Shooting Sugar: Awww, thanks so much for the kind words! I totally know what you mean, because when I watch InuYasha, the original Japanese one with subtitles, I feel like it'll last forever, but its over so fast and I just want more! I never knew my story could be like that for people! Thanks so much!

Ladybugboo: Even though you're anonymous, I believe you deserve a shout out! Thanks for reviewing, and sorry about the blood and such, but I shouldn't think there'll be much more of that. Thanks anyway, and keep reading!

Okay, time for the same notes I put here every time…yawn.

- Kagome's Point of View

- Miroku's narration

-Sango narration

-InuYasha's narration with a bit of POV thrown in

-Narrated by author (me)

Mourning of the Bloody Valentine

Chapter Thirty-Seven : Our Eye Opener

InuYasha whirled around with a shocked look in his eyes and…

His katana blade dropped from his hand onto the dirt floor of the well house with a dull noise. He was covered in a bloody red and his eyes were wide with the shock of being caught in a barbaric act.

I tried to gather my wits from the shock I had just been put through…InuYasha, the boy I was supposed to be with…had wanted to be with…was a stone cold murderer? So that's how it was…how it always had been…how could I have been so blind? I had purposefully closed my eyes to his…blood thirst? I hadn't wanted to see…was that it?

I stumbled back onto the door frame from the entrance door of the well house and clutched my heaving chest. I was starting to feel cold…my heart was beating irregularly fast, and I nauseously wobbled up the wooden steps leading to the well. All that rang through my throbbing head was what I came here to do. I had to do what I came for. I started up the stairs cautiously, when I heard InuYasha come up, slowly, behind me.

"Kagome…" he started after a large exhale of perplexed breath. I didn't even want to turn around and look at him. I knew if I did, I would either hate him or fully forgive him. Right now, I wanted neither.

"Don't…" I managed to wheeze out after clearing my dry throat despondently, "Don't…touch me." I didn't dare turn my eyes; for fear that they would meet with his.

"Kagome…" He tried again, sounding a little discomposed. "C'mon…I…" I could tell he was thinking up a passable excuse, and fast. But I knew that there was no admissible excuse for me to just forgive him for all this and just keep living. I couldn't. A life was a life, be it a kidnapper or an over jealous ex-boyfriend.

"I said don't touch me." I repeated a little louder, as if he was only ignoring me because he couldn't hear me. My legs shook hideously, and almost gave out on me when I finally reached the top stair. I nearly crumpled to the ground, I was so weak. His strong arm shot out to steady me, but I pushed it away from me jerkily and chose to instead use the stair rail for my support.

He must've gone to his patience limit, because he put a hand roughly on my shoulder to try and turn me around to look at him, which I'd been keen on avoiding. I jumped, as if hurt, and jumped forward meaningfully, nearer the well.

"I said don't touch me!" I wailed out in a squeaky, desperate, and scared voice. "Don't you come any nearer…I…I don't know you…" Tears were coming to my eyes and I felt my heart pull when I saw his face. His face was twisted into a medley of a sad, angry, but broken kind of expression that words couldn't describe well enough the pain it brought to me. He had tried to rub away the blood on his face with his sleeve, which really only made it worse, leaving large dull streaks and dapples of the coppery liquid across his faulty face.

"Please…" I cried again, "Just…don't." I noticed my eyes were leaking hot tears that streaked through the dirt on my cheeks. I pulled myself painfully, still limping, over to the well, and carefully lowered myself down, large salty droplets still dripping from my face. I landed clumsily against the bottom of the well, still sobbing, and I furiously rubbed my tears from my eyes with my sleeve of the long jacket. I stumbled, step by step, with InuYasha carefully following at a distance, to the small, still lit little office where I had been held captive not too long ago. I glanced through a pile of scrolls one last time, making sure there was nothing of importance. I looked through blurry eyes, and once in a while a drop of salt water dripped against the scroll I happened to be looking at.

Ten minutes later, I had found one scroll of healing of minor disease, and a large book about squirrels. Cute little rascals. A smile somehow made it upon my face, and InuYasha had stood in the doorway all the while. I hadn't cooled off yet, and I was barely crying anymore, but I still avoided his questioning gaze. I unearthed one more scroll of `Learn how to Foxtrot', to which I chuckled a little rigorously. I pushed through the mountain of knowledge a little faster; morning would turn to afternoon if I didn't move it. I found another `How To' book that I thought was worthwhile, and finally, a pair of two books bound together by string. `How to understand your feelings' and `How to understand your partner's feelings'. I nearly laughed aloud grimly as I thought how I would read a page or two to InuYasha each night to `better our relationship'. What was I, his grandmother? I giggled, but somewhat sadly with a sigh afterwards, but put it in my small pile anyway. Finding that the last of what I could want, I carefully tip toed in between piles, heaps, and hills of papers, books, and overall wisdom. Then I felt InuYasha's eyes focus back on me. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel.

The fact is; I lose my anger quickly. Usually, anyway. Now seemed to be one of those times, even though I couldn't fathom why I felt barely anything anymore after seeing InuYasha kill someone. As I remembered the incident, my sadness returned. Tears welled up. Hachi had only been a boy. It hadn't been fair. If I was to show InuYasha why I wasn't speaking with him, I would have to dwell on these grievous thoughts, in order to remember the emotions and be able to hold my stand against InuYasha. I couldn't just give in to him, no matter how I felt for him, right? I felt a headache coming on. My mind was in a mess. Even though I tried to rationalize my own deviant explanation, I still couldn't see why I was ignoring the man I love. My mother had once told me that if you truly love someone with everything you have, you are willing to forgive them anything. No limits right? Perhaps that was the real reason why she forgave my sinning father so readily. I now understood that she knew he was doing wrong, but didn't have it in her heart to stop herself from loving him. She had fallen in love with the boy he had been, not the man he had become. I finally understood, as I was experiencing it now. After much deliberation, I decided to let the matter go for now. I could hardly keep my thoughts in order and correct, how was I to just…stop my emotions? I couldn't explain it. I still can't now. All I knew, was that if InuYasha wanted another chance with me, which was slim, he had better work for it.

I stood up and gathered my new collection of Hachi's old books. I dusted myself off with my free hand, and rotated my stiff neck with a little sigh.

"Ready to go?" I asked stiffly, as I turned around slowly, my head lowered. InuYasha looked up; surprised that I was actually speaking to him. Twenty minutes ago I had been crying about how I didn't want to even touch him. He numbly nodded, and followed me, still trying to avoid contact with me as if I were a live grenade. Now that I use that metaphor, I, in a way, was kind of like that at that point of my life. I had low tolerance and, with everything that had been happening to me, I couldn't help but feel like I was going to snap at any wrong word.

There was still a raging conflict in me and at the moment I had been pushing it away to deal with it later. I had to keep it away for just a little while more, just until I could tell InuYasha everything. How I felt about us, and about what he did to Kouga and Hachi. I needed to know that he still felt the same about me. That he wasn't just after me to get another girl. I mentally shook my head. I knew he wasn't in it for that. He went through a lot to get me to actually be with him. From unbelievable odds, he had done everything he mortally could to get me beside him, and I knew that that was not just to have a sleeping buddy. I shook my head again, trying to clear my obscured thoughts, and with suspicion, I let InuYasha ahead of me up the well. I didn't want him sneaking any looks up my long jacket. Which I was still nude beneath. Well, I decided, rubbing my tired eyes, first things first. Let's get out of here.

I had turned around and all of a sudden she was there. I hadn't even heard her come up, I had been so preoccupied. What's been wrong with me lately? I keep messing things up and letting things get in the way of my happily ever after. That's what it's all about, isn't it? I just want someone to come home to? No, because I love her. Can't she see that? This is all so we can be together. If I didn't do this, we might get separated…for good. I've sacrificed everything to have her;can't she sacrifice something for me? All she seems to think about is her do-good and holier-than-thou attitude. It's fuckin' bullshit if you ask me.

InuYasha had been thinking of all these things as he watched Kagome flinch in front of him; flinch away from his touch. And it hurt him. At first he was filled with regrets and sadness flowed over him in waves of unimaginable pain.Then it dawned on him. This wasn't his fault. None of this was his fault. It was mostly fucking her's! KAGOME was the one who had caused most of this, hadn't she? Because of her he had had to kill Kouga, and now Hachi. It wasn't his fault. Anger took over his pain in anunquenchable heat in his chest. He slowly pulled himself up the well before Kagome andstalked out of the well house with clenched fists and grindingteeth.He brushed roughly past a curious Miroku and worried Sango, followed closely by the inquisitive Shippo.He apathetically pummeled by them and ostracized any of the vexed comments coming from the troupe.

The daylight shone irritatingly in his eyes, making him squint from the sheer brightness. Birds chirped pleasantly, and the loud hum of cicadas was picking up like the commencing of asymphony orchestra.He swatted half-heartedly at a lingering mosquito and exhaled loudly, closing his eyes and running his clammy hand through his fulsome silver hair. He pulled out the elastic that held it back, and it flowed around him in straight silver lengths.

Kagome, who was being helped out of the well house by the fretted Sango and Miroku, walked out into the sunlight with a gasp at how it was morning already. He turned to look at her, but snapped his head abruptly back round after evoking memories of his earlier, more disturbed thoughts. With an adamant expression tentatively poised on his face, he whirled around, his long hair trailing after his quick movements, and yelled back.

"Oi! Let's get going! I'm fucking tired already!" InuYasha twisted his head back violently and immediately began moving forward.

Sango's eyebrows crinkled in a look of concentration as well as wonder. Had Kagome seen? If she had, it would definitely explain why InuYasha was using such language. He had wanted so badly to see her, right? Then why wasn't he here helping her up, rather than let her and Miroku to do it? All during the sunlit walk to the bus stop and the search of the pockets for spare change, Sango's mind ran circles looking for explanations and she kept coming round to the result that Kagome must have seen. She was acting so languished, and InuYasha refused all eye contact with everyone except for straight ahead and the ground. However, Kagome was staring at him like a deserted kitten. Sango sighed. What a day. She knew for sure that she would have to give the two some time to themselves, or risk having to witness the collision of a lifetime. She just hoped InuYasha would take the initiative to actually do something instead of just disregarding everyone around him. With another heartfelt sigh, she shook her head regretfully and looked off into the distance with hope of a white and blue bus coming up.

Miroku knew that Sango was keeping something from him, and he knew that something must have happened down in the underground beyond the well. Miroku gripped Shippo's small hand, since Kagome was too far off in her own thoughts to comfort the fox child. He turned to the disappointed boy and gave him his best and warmest smile, to which the kit beamed back. Miroku turned back to look at the disgruntled Sango standing beside him. He couldn't think of how to comfort her without saying anything, and he felt his words would only fall to the floor anyway. So he did the next best thing. He reached out his hand…

Sango felt a familiar sensation and turned to the boy beside her. She couldn't help but smile and hold his hand backas his had entwined with hers. And they stood likethat, holding hands innocently,a line of three, save for the two temperamental ones beside them.

I bent forward to look impatiently for the bus, which arrived shortly, thankfully. I took a quick glance at InuYasha, who had just been sneaking a look at me, and we both whirled around fast enough to have whiplash. I climbed up onto the bus and glanced around. Nobody had boarded this early in the morning, just us and the driver. Shippo released Miroku's hand and guardedly walked to me.

"Can I sit with you?" he barely squeaked.

I was emotionally touched with a hint of guilt that I hadn't been thinking of the little boy and how this must have hurt him as much as I. I took his hand knowingly, and nodded.

"Of course." I smiled.

I sat with Shippo during the whole ride, his head resting on my shoulder. I had been slowly chatting to him quietly. I hadn't really known what to say. The truth was…I had no words. I didn't have anything.

Shippo fell asleep on my shoulder on the bus ride back, and before I knew it, I too was nodding off. The rapid movement of the scenery tired my eyes, and the hum of the soft rock that played in the speakers lulled me into a dark, comfortable abyss of slumber.

I watched her slowly nod off, looking out the window until she gradually rested her head on Shippo's. I couldn't help but feel a tug in my chest. It had been happening more of late. What was wrong with me? I had said I loved her before, but had I really known what love was? Did I know now? It was when everything I saw reminded me of her. The dark leather seats closely resembled the color of her hair, the silky mass that shone and bounced in wavy tresses as she flounced about. Like when she just got out of the shower and her hair was still nearly curly but dried in a slightly straight shape. The small bird that flew by the bus; a speck of blue-gray on its feathered chest. The color of her gray eyes that was a stormy assemblage of emotions that reflected into his own eyes as he looked straight into hers. Now he knew. He loved her. And what to do about it? He asked himself. He sighed and watched her sleeping figure, difficult to make out in the straight cut jacket he had lent her.

What to do.

A/N: Thanks for reading, everyone! Any suggestions or anything, please feel free to review! I actually prefer it when you do…haha, okay so please review and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Ja ne.

-Katana