InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Diary ❯ March 7, ( Chapter 3 )

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~*My Diary*~

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March 7,

Why does he do this to me. Why is he so mean. He calls me names constantly then he calls me KIKYO! God does he not see how it hurts me. I hate her so bad... I wish....I wish......*sigh* I don't wish anything......How am I so much different then her? Will someone please tell me THAT! Am I not pretty enough? and I not smart enough or is it im not good enough.Am I not Skinny enough for him? I don't understand! All I wanna do is understand him.

I'm nothing to him thats clear. He doesn't care he never has. Why don't I just leave and never come back....HE probably wouldnt even notice I was gone....

Oh thats great i'm crying again. Damn him....damn this whole world...I just wish for once I could know what it was like to be happy. To be with somone who really cared aout me and wouldn't use me or....or be mean to me....I really don't think there is a such thing as the perfect guy. Hell and i'm most certainly not the perfect girl he's already proved that to me. I'm just a bitch that knows nothing As he puts it!

I'm watching myself dissapear from heart ake...All he ever sees is my shadow...never no one else, never the real me, his body cares for me but he always holds back.... He makes my world black.... Why can't I keep what isn't mine? Why can't I tell if he means what he says. He will never know how I truly feel for him....he'll always have a piece of my heart even if he doesnt feel the same for me. All I am is his shadow arriving too late and leaving too slow.

I can never really tell if he's really being him or just the stuck up ass he tryed to be.

Every second he repeats her name. But when it comes to me he don't care if i'm alive or dead.

He's all I want But not like this....not in this way....