InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Never eat strange things before bed ❯ Miroku's Dream ( Chapter 3 )

You've all read the disclaimer, I don't own these people. ( Sorry everything is so smashed together, I'm using Microsoft word and haven't yet figured out how to space everything for the web page )

He was all alone with his beloved Sango, along with three ofuda and a can of that yummy whipped cream Kagome brought over with her from her time. Sango had just started to undress and had dropped her kimono. Oooh yeah, life was good…but then the mixture of melted pocky and stale crackers started to catch up with him…

The sun shines in through the window of Miroku's bedroom, shining on his face.

Miroku/Sailor Moon: Damn you sun! Go away! -=pulls the covers over his head grumpily=- Curse you and your always having to shine in my eyes!

Kirara/Luna hops onto Miroku's bed and bats at his ear: Come on Miroku wake up or you'll be late for school again.

Miroku/Sailor Moon: Bite me ya damn cat.

Kirara/Luna lands a vicious bite to Miroku's ear.

Miroku/Sailor Moon: ITAI!!! -=jumps out of bed and glares at Kirara=- What was that for? You're supposed to be here for moral guidance, not to maim!

Kirara/Luna: Same shit, different smell! Now get dressed and go to school or I'll bite you elsewhere!

Miroku/Sailor Moon: !!! -=throws on his sailor fuka and rushes downstairs=- HiMom!Iloveyouseeyouafterschoolbye! ( Hi Mom! I love you, see you after school bye! )

Mom: But Miroku! Breakfast!

Miroku/Sailor Moon: NotimemomIloveyoubye! ( No time mom, I love you bye! ) -=he runs out, slamming the door behind him and he runs into Sango on the way out=-

Sango/Sailor Mercury: Damn you Miroku, you're going to make me late for school.

Miroku/Sailor Moon: My deepest sincerities my lovely, let's go.

Sango and Miroku head for school and soon meet up with Kagome, Sesshoumaru, and Kouga.

Kagome/Sailor Jupiter: Hey guys!

Sesshoumaru/Sailor Venus just stands there and looks hot: …

Shippou/Artemis pokes his head out of Sesshoumaru's book sack: Meow!

Kouga/Sailor Mars: I can't believe I let Kagome talk me into wearing a fuka today >.<;

Miroku/Sailor Moon: Why're you complaining? You look hot.

Everyone but Miroku: O.O

Miroku/Sailor Moon: What? -=mutters=- Damn homophobes

Sesshoumaru, still looking sexy and Kouga: We heard that.

Miroku/Sailor Moon poses, lifting up his skirt slightly and exposes his sexah knickers: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Sesshoumaru/Sailor Venus looks slightly disgusted while maintaining his ultimate hotness: Do you wish to die human?

Miroku/Sailor Moon hides behind Sango and gropes her in the process.

Sango/Sailor Mercury lays him flat: Let's just go to school and leave this loser behind before we're all late.

They all agree and walk off, leaving poor Miroku laying out cold on the sidewalk.

Miroku/Sailor Moon pulls himself up and cries because Sango just called him a loser.

Inuyasha/Darien walks up the sidewalk, seeing Miroku on the ground crying: Hey, stop your blubbering.

Miroku/Sailor Moon: <3333333 -=he clings to Inuyasha's leg=- Oh my love!

Inuyasha/Darien: WhatthehellgetoffmeyoubloodypervertnowI'mgoingtosmelllikeabloodyhumanyoustu pidlittlegaypansyshitletgo! ( What the hell, get off me you bloody pervert! Now I'm going to smell like a bloody human you stupid little gay pansy shit! Let go! )

Miroku/Sailor Moon: Do not forsake our love, Inuyasha! You did not say such things last night!

Inuyasha/Darien turns red from embarrassment and anger: Getoffyoustupidbloodylittlepervertedshitgaypansyshitpriestpansyshitletgo! ( Get off you stupid bloody little perverted shit gay pansy shit priest pansy shit let go! ) -=he manages to pry Miroku off his leg and runs away as fast as possible for him=-

Miroku/Sailor Moon falls back onto the pavement: Don't worry my love, I shall ensnare you with my charm yet!

Meanwhile in some secret, not so secret base somewhere.

Kagura/Zoisite: What the hell, it's so fucking boring here. What's on the mirror tonight Kanna?

Kanna/Malakite: Same old, you know it's been awhile since we've gone to Earth.

Kagura/Zoisite: Rock, paper, scissors over who gets to go.

Kanna/Malakite: You're on.

Kanna and Kagura do rock paper scissors, Kanna gets rock and Kagura gets scissors.

Kagura/Zoisite: Damn that's not fair, I had to go last time. Fuckingrottenluck. (Fucking rotten luck)

Kanna/Malakite: Have fun dear sister.

Kagura/Zoisite walks off muttering curses to herself about rotten luck and Kanna cheating.

Back on Earth everyone has gym and Miroku peeps through a hole in the boy's locker room to spy in on the girls, drooling at all the girls in their bras.

Miroku/Sailor Moon: Oh, damn you, just take it off already…the suspense is killing me.

Sesshoumaru/Sailor Venus: And so will I if you don't stop being a pervert.

Miroku/Sailor Moon: Eh…did you want a turn too? You could've asked.

Kouga/Sailor Mars shoves Miroku out the way, in hopes of catching a glimpse of Kagome in her bra but Sango is in the way: Damnit Sango! Move out of the way!

Sango/Sailor Mercury jumps at the sound of Kouga's yelling and shoves her finger through the hole, poking Kouga in the eye: Baka hentai! This I'd expect from Miroku! Not you!

Kouga/Sailor Mars howls and covers his poor eye, yelling practically every curse in the book towards Sango.

Miroku and Sesshoumaru look at each other and silently sneak away from the cursing Kouga before they get in trouble for spying in the girl's locker room. The noise Kouga is making will surely attract some teachers.

After school everyone goes out to the park for fresh air, minus Miroku, he's off sexually harassing women somewhere…when is he not?

Kagome/Sailor Jupiter: Oh the breeze is just great, I could stay outside all day.

Everyone agrees that it's a great day and all lay down under a tree.

Inuyasha/Darien passes by and glances down to them: Where's that little gay shit Miroku.

Sango/Sailor Mercury: I don't know, I haven't seen him since this morning.

Inuyasha/Darien: Damngaypansy I'm gonna split his skull next time I see him.

Sesshoumaru/Sailor Venus: Come dear brother, you've been saying that for ages. You haven't gone soft on me, have you?

Inuyasha/Darien growls, turning red: IhavenotyoustupidbloodyyoukaiwhatdoIlookliketoyousomebloodypuppythatsitsfor treats! ( I have not you stupid bloody youkai, what do I look like to you some bloody puppy that sits for treats! )

Kagome/Sailor Jupiter hands Inuyasha some chocolate pocky.

Inuyasha/Darien: Ooh! Pocky! -=sits down and munches on some=-

Sesshoumaru/Sailor Venus: You were saying?

Inuyasha/Darien with his mouth full of pocky, chewed pocky sprays out while he talks: Shuth du hull oop. (Shut the hell up)

Sango/Sailor Mercury: Ew, Inuyasha, say it, don't spray it.

Everyone brushes chewed pocky off their uniforms.

Kagome/Sailor Jupiter: That was so gross.

Inuyasha/Darien wipes the chocolate from his mouth but ends up smearing it.

Kagura/Zoisite is watching them from a park bench and she glances to them from over her newspaper, trying not to look obvious: Hm, what should I do this time?

Kouga/Sailor Mars apparently hasn't gotten the idea exactly what pocky is and doesn't know that it's chocolate on Inuyasha's face : This sucks Miroku's not here to pick on…hey dog-turd, what the hell happened? I guess dogs really DO eat mud.

Both Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha glare at Kouga.

Kouga/Sailor Mars soon finds himself running for his life, for instead of insulting just Inuyasha, he managed to insult both the brothers.

Kagome and Sango just blink and watch the three chase each other around the park.

Kagura/Zoisite watches them also and blinks: …Or I could just wait for them to destroy each other and say I did it…but I grow bored watching them play tag, maybe I should spice things up a bit.

Kagome/Sailor Jupiter: Oh come on guys! Stop it! You're acting like a bunch of children!

Sango/Sailor Mercury: Sesshoumaru, I'm ashamed of you! I thought you had more restraint!

Kagura/Zoisite readies her fans to send a gust of wind to trip Kouga so that the dog-brothers could take turns to maul the poor wolf.

Miroku/Sailor Moon strolls up the path towards the tree, he notices the three residential canines chase each other, something everyday. He spots Kagura sitting on the bench and grins: Ah, another victim…

Sango and Kagome have given up yelling and just lay against the trunk of the tree to watch the entertainment.

Sango/Sailor Mercury: Eh…guess the exercise will do them good…

Kagome/Sailor Jupiter: Maybe the dog park would've been more appropriate, then they'd have more friends to play with ^.^

Sango/Sailor Mercury: -=blinks then dies laughing=- That was cruel…yet funny at the same time.

Miroku/Sailor Moon slides behind Kagura and gropes her: The summer's breeze has drawn me to you like a bee to honey. Accept my proposal and bear my child?

Kagura/Zoisite wails in a panic and flails, trying to get Miroku off her.

Miroku/Sailor Moon's interference has caused Kagura's wind attack to miss Kouga but hit Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru instead, causing the two to fall over on top of each other. This makes them really pissed and they start to claw and bite each other.

Kagome/Sailor Jupiter: Oh my god! Inuyasha! SitSitSit!

Poor Inuyasha slams into the ground for every `sit' Kagome said, this startles Sesshoumaru and he gives up the `fight' to leave his brother in the crater.

Inuyasha/Darien twitches.

Kagura/Zoisite: Damn you, you pervert! I'll destroy you one day!

Miroku/Sailor Moon grins and makes kissie faces at her: So I take that as a no?

Kagura/Zoisite looks seconds away from an aneurysm as she disappears back to the Moon.

Miroku/Sailor Moon sits on the bench and pulls out a cig, lighting it up: Looks like I save the day again…now if only everyone else had seen…

Kouga/Sailor Saturn spots Miroku: Inuyasha! The pervert is here!

Inuyasha/Darien leaps out of the hole and runs straight for Miroku.

Miroku/Sailor Moon drops his cig, screams like a sissy girl and runs away as if his life depends on it.

End Miroku's Dream

Coming Soon…Kagome's Dream