InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ On the Outside ❯ Miserable ( Chapter 8 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

This was written for IyFanfiction's prompt: Mourning, on LJ.

Summary: Sesshoumaru considers his options after finding out that Kagome could have loved him, if not for his actions.

Sesshoumaru hadn't left his room for three days. No one could make him come out. He'd refused even direct orders from his father to get up and go to school. The taiyoukai just didn't have it in him. He simply lay, staring blankly at the screensaver on his computer screen.

Not long before Inuyasha had changed schools and ruined his life, and his plans, by stealing his sweet miko away, Kagome had set his screensaver to cycle through photographs of the two of them together over the years. At first he thought it was silly, a sappy gesture that only a woman would think to do, but now it was his only connection to her.

He couldn't understand how Kagome had dropped him so easily after their long friendship. She meant everything to him, absolutely everything, and he'd thought he was important to her as well, but one pathetic hanyou walks into her life and that was it. Sure, Inuyasha was miserable at his new school, but he deserved the less than kind welcome he received. He was a half-breed, filth that was neither demon nor human, and what was worse; he was a stain on their powerful family bloodline. Did he expect a warm reception?

Still, Kagome had seen a need and decided to fill it. Sesshoumaru had run things through his mind over and over since he'd decided to become a hermit, questioning his actions. Should he have done things differently? Could he have? He'd hated Inuyasha since the little brat was born, hated that someone else was getting the attention that had once been focused solely on him. He hated the woman that had replaced his mother. He hated the looks they got in public, scorn and disgust from humans and demons alike. It was all the half-breed's fault.

Still, perhaps if he had tried to associate with his hated half-brother for Kagome's sake, to accept his presence, maybe she wouldn't have abandoned him. Sesshoumaru wasn't sure he could have managed it. Befriending a half-breed would have absolutely devastated his reputation. It had been a big enough struggle to maintain his social standing while being friends with a human, a miko at that. His demon friends had been unable to understand his devotion to the girl and often likened her to his pet. That fight had been worth it though, because every second he spent with her was like a gift from the heavens.

Slowly, as the minutes ticked by and the hours passed, Sesshoumaru considered his options. It was either maintain his position and his treatment of Inuyasha and lose Kagome for good or get over his hatred for the boy and move on. Maybe if he did that, his sweet miko could find a way to forgive his previous actions. Maybe he could get back into her good graces and then maybe she could love him the way he loved her.

But could he do it?