InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ On the Outside ❯ Shattered ( Chapter 10 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: CMK2CMM 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.10.2013 | Pages: 1 | Words: 995 | Visits: 380 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.10.2013 | Pages: 1 | Words: 995 | Visits: 380 | Status: Work In Progress
This was written for Iy_Fanfiction on LJ's prompt: Retreat
Summary: Sesshoumaru returns to school
Sesshoumaru had finally managed to drag himself out of his misery and his bed. He'd spent an entire week hiding and pouting but he couldn't do it forever and he knew it. The thought that Inuyasha now had Kagome all to himself with no one watching over her to make sure nothing unsavory happened was what gave him the push he needed.
At least she hadn't come to their house during that week. If he'd heard her sweet voice and her musical laughter through the walls, his heart might have actually stopped beating entirely. It already felt like it was broken into a million pieces, but to know that she was so close, enjoying the company of the hanyou, would have been more than he could take.
He still hadn't figured out if he could change the way he treated his half-brother. To do so would be social suicide. His friendship with Kagome had already put a great deal of strain on his popularity, but to accept a hanyou would be it. There would be no coming back. He would be making himself just as much of an outcast as Inuyasha was.
Yes, the miko was worth the sacrifice, but Sesshoumaru didn't know if he was strong enough to actually face his half-brother and apologize for the way he treated him, which he knew Kagome would require. More than likely, Inuyasha would throw his words back in his face, putting the miko in an awkward situation where she would once again have to choose between them. He'd lost that particular battle once already and his heart couldn't take another rejection from the woman he loved.
What if she decided that it was only a show for her sake? In truth, it would be, but that wouldn't make the repercussions any less real. If he did this, if he attempted to mend the bridge between Inuyasha and himself, he would lose every other friend he had, and it didn't even guarantee him Kagome's forgiveness. Could he risk being truly and completely alone?
Sesshoumaru mentally snorted. If he'd only shown her his true feelings before Inuyasha arrived to ruin everything, maybe none of this would have happened. If he'd confessed his love, if they'd begun dating, he would have lost all of his other friends and it wouldn't have bothered him a bit. Just to hold her in his arms, to kiss her lips and run his fingers through her hair, to see love reflected back at him in her eyes; he would have sacrificed everything. Why couldn't he do it now for the chance to gain what he'd always wanted?
Could she forgive him? She'd told him that she could never love someone like him. Remembering her words made his heart ache all over again. Could she love him if he changed? Could he be the man she'd thought he was, that she wanted him to be? He wanted to be. In truth, he would do whatever it took to win her heart, be whoever she wanted him to be and do whatever she wanted him to do. He had loved her for so long in secret and she still had no idea. She'd successfully shattered his heart and soul with a few simple words and she didn't even know it.
He wasn't even sure if he could face her. Could he see her and not simply drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness? If he did, would she turn her back on him? Would she laugh in his face and tell him he missed his chance? He knew Inuyasha would never let him hear the end of it. Sesshoumaru had never felt so weak in all his life. His confidence was tattered and torn and he felt true fear for the first time, fear that he would never win her back; that he would never hear her say she loved him, never hold her or kiss her. It was that fear that froze him in his tracks at the sound of her voice.
-
Kagome forced a smile as Inuyasha told her a joke, the hanyou's arm around her shoulders. Her heart ached and she wanted nothing more than to pull away from him and search out the taiyoukai that she loved. She couldn't though. It would do her no good. Sesshoumaru clearly had no feelings for her beyond friendship, and his recent behavior had made her question even that. He would laugh in her face and tell her that he would never consider dating a human. She was below him, worthless, and obviously foolish as well. That hint of hope she held in her heart was not enough for her to risk him decimating it.
Word had reached her through the halls that he had finally returned to school, but she still hadn't seen him. She glanced to the side, checking to see if he was at his locker, only to sigh when he wasn't. She had no idea he'd been there just moments before.
-
When he'd heard her coming, Sesshoumaru had done something he never had before. He turned tail and ran. He couldn't face her. He couldn't risk seeing the anger and hatred in her eyes. He still hadn't figured out what to do and without a decision and a course to follow, he chose to avoid her for as long as possible. That could only last so long, considering they sat beside each other in the class just after lunch. He had no idea how he would survive that class, being so close to her and yet still so far away. It was like a mighty river separated them, and that river's name was Inuyasha.
Summary: Sesshoumaru returns to school
Sesshoumaru had finally managed to drag himself out of his misery and his bed. He'd spent an entire week hiding and pouting but he couldn't do it forever and he knew it. The thought that Inuyasha now had Kagome all to himself with no one watching over her to make sure nothing unsavory happened was what gave him the push he needed.
At least she hadn't come to their house during that week. If he'd heard her sweet voice and her musical laughter through the walls, his heart might have actually stopped beating entirely. It already felt like it was broken into a million pieces, but to know that she was so close, enjoying the company of the hanyou, would have been more than he could take.
He still hadn't figured out if he could change the way he treated his half-brother. To do so would be social suicide. His friendship with Kagome had already put a great deal of strain on his popularity, but to accept a hanyou would be it. There would be no coming back. He would be making himself just as much of an outcast as Inuyasha was.
Yes, the miko was worth the sacrifice, but Sesshoumaru didn't know if he was strong enough to actually face his half-brother and apologize for the way he treated him, which he knew Kagome would require. More than likely, Inuyasha would throw his words back in his face, putting the miko in an awkward situation where she would once again have to choose between them. He'd lost that particular battle once already and his heart couldn't take another rejection from the woman he loved.
What if she decided that it was only a show for her sake? In truth, it would be, but that wouldn't make the repercussions any less real. If he did this, if he attempted to mend the bridge between Inuyasha and himself, he would lose every other friend he had, and it didn't even guarantee him Kagome's forgiveness. Could he risk being truly and completely alone?
Sesshoumaru mentally snorted. If he'd only shown her his true feelings before Inuyasha arrived to ruin everything, maybe none of this would have happened. If he'd confessed his love, if they'd begun dating, he would have lost all of his other friends and it wouldn't have bothered him a bit. Just to hold her in his arms, to kiss her lips and run his fingers through her hair, to see love reflected back at him in her eyes; he would have sacrificed everything. Why couldn't he do it now for the chance to gain what he'd always wanted?
Could she forgive him? She'd told him that she could never love someone like him. Remembering her words made his heart ache all over again. Could she love him if he changed? Could he be the man she'd thought he was, that she wanted him to be? He wanted to be. In truth, he would do whatever it took to win her heart, be whoever she wanted him to be and do whatever she wanted him to do. He had loved her for so long in secret and she still had no idea. She'd successfully shattered his heart and soul with a few simple words and she didn't even know it.
He wasn't even sure if he could face her. Could he see her and not simply drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness? If he did, would she turn her back on him? Would she laugh in his face and tell him he missed his chance? He knew Inuyasha would never let him hear the end of it. Sesshoumaru had never felt so weak in all his life. His confidence was tattered and torn and he felt true fear for the first time, fear that he would never win her back; that he would never hear her say she loved him, never hold her or kiss her. It was that fear that froze him in his tracks at the sound of her voice.
-
Kagome forced a smile as Inuyasha told her a joke, the hanyou's arm around her shoulders. Her heart ached and she wanted nothing more than to pull away from him and search out the taiyoukai that she loved. She couldn't though. It would do her no good. Sesshoumaru clearly had no feelings for her beyond friendship, and his recent behavior had made her question even that. He would laugh in her face and tell her that he would never consider dating a human. She was below him, worthless, and obviously foolish as well. That hint of hope she held in her heart was not enough for her to risk him decimating it.
Word had reached her through the halls that he had finally returned to school, but she still hadn't seen him. She glanced to the side, checking to see if he was at his locker, only to sigh when he wasn't. She had no idea he'd been there just moments before.
-
When he'd heard her coming, Sesshoumaru had done something he never had before. He turned tail and ran. He couldn't face her. He couldn't risk seeing the anger and hatred in her eyes. He still hadn't figured out what to do and without a decision and a course to follow, he chose to avoid her for as long as possible. That could only last so long, considering they sat beside each other in the class just after lunch. He had no idea how he would survive that class, being so close to her and yet still so far away. It was like a mighty river separated them, and that river's name was Inuyasha.