InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ One Life ❯ Without You ( Chapter 18 )

2/19/07

Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Inuyasha. It is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi, and I thank her for the use of her lovely characters.

 

A Quick Review:

 

Rin has grown into a beautiful, intelligent, devoted, passionate young woman and has fallen in love with Lord Sesshoumaru, but she struggles against feelings of inadequacy concerning her humanity. Lord Sesshoumaru is the same powerful, stoic demon lord of the western lands that he has always been, though now the time has come to complete the peace treaties with the Northern territories; Treaties that require his marriage to the Northern Lord's daughter. But, something is wrong. He finds himself more and more distracted by his beautiful young ward and it disturbs him. He seeks out a mate for her that not only will get her out of his way, but which will also seal a treaty with the central trade routes. But, Sesshoumaru discovers that Rin already has a suitor who tries to mark her with the first Life Mate mark. This produces a problem when it comes to marrying Rin to another, but it is unclear as to whether Rin has actually been marked. Sesshoumaru decides that the surest way to test for the mark is to woo her.

 

One misunderstanding and miscommunication after another keeps the two from realizing their true feelings for one another until on the last night they will be together, as they travel to the central region for Rin's mating ceremony and then North to complete Sesshoumaru's ceremony, they abandon reality and make passionate love for the first and only time. It is later that same night that their camp is attacked by Troll Demons. Sesshoumaru concludes that Rin has been killed in the brutal attack after he wakes nearly two weeks later from the attack. He mourns her, his heart breaking, but he knows that he must complete his father's treaty which will combine the Western and Northern territories under his rule. Sesshoumaru heads North after a few months of healing from the Troll attacks and after completing the second marking ritual he is out in the gardens and discovers the tiger demon Kane's Life Mate. But she is revealed to be none other than Rin! Sesshoumaru is briefly overjoyed, but his jealous mind and logic turn the facts against her and he accuses her of betrayal.

 

Kane confronts Sesshoumaru at that moment and it is revealed that Kane is the evil master-mind behind years of treachery and foul play against Lord Sesshoumaru's family. A vicious battle ensues but Kane gets the upper hand and just as he is about to deal a deathly blow, Rin strikes him down with a dagger imbued with demon power, killing him. But, when one Life Mate dies, the other follows soon after. Rin dies almost immediately, happy that Sesshoumaru is still alright. Sesshoumaru is devastated once more and knows that this time she will not be coming back and even Tensaiga's powers are useless on a soul that has already been called back once.

 

Lord Masahiro, the Northern Lord, convinces Lord Sesshoumaru against his better judgment to revive Kane so that he may be punished and upon reviving the tiger demon with the healing sword, Rin is miraculously revived and healed, and the Life Mate marks dissolved.

 

We left off last time with Sesshoumaru confronting a fleeing Rin only hours before the final marking ritual. He is angry and hurt at her betrayal and lashes out cruelly, but she denies it and in a moment of despair and longing the two share a passionate kiss before they break apart, each still doubting the others true feelings and intentions, and each still hurt and heartbroken. Sesshoumaru leaves her standing in her rooms without saying another word…

 

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Chapter 18: Without You

 

Rin ran through the corridors of the Northern palace as fast as her legs would carry her, and yet it felt as though she were moving outside of time. She felt as though she was running through a thick swirl of mist, all sense of reality lost as she ran, uncaring of the indecent robes fluttering around her or that her ebony hair was a damp tangle soaking the sheer fabric down her back. She didn't know what she was going to say when she found him, but her heart wasn't ready to let him go like this.

 

Rin burst into Sesshoumaru's rooms in a whirlwind of emotion. Lord Sesshoumaru was standing at the window, his back to her. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him standing so still, like some beautifully sculpted statue. He didn't turn to acknowledge her presence even when she snapped the screen shut behind her. She stood just at the door now, unable to advance any further. Suddenly she wished she had known what she was going to say to him, but words escaped her as she stared at the length of silver hair flowing down his body. His crisp woodland scent caught her senses as she struggled to catch her breath and slow her thundering heart. The familiar masculine scent caught her off guard and ribbons of desire began to curl around her stomach and lower in an all too familiar ache.

 

“Leave me.” He commanded calmly, his voice low and detached.

 

His casual dismissal stabbed at her already wounded heart and suddenly, months of sorrow and longing culminated into an anger that she had never felt before. She was angry at him for believing her to be a traitor. Angry at him for believing this of her even after all that they had shared. Angry that he felt this way after she had spent her whole life worshipping him, never asking anything of him in return. She had loved him unconditionally and she would not be betrayed in such a manner. She felt…wronged.

 

“I don't think so, M'lord.” She said just as calmly, her voice just as detached.

 

That caught his attention.

 

Slowly he turned to face her now. His pale features betrayed none of the anger she knew he was suddenly radiating. Except for his eyes. To anyone else, the unrivaled ruler of the western lands stood here now indifferent, an ebony eyebrow raised slightly, unmoved by the blatant disobedience she had just shown him. But she knew him like no other ever had, could read him as no one else ever could. She could see the subtle drop of his chin, the slight furrow of his brow, a golden storm piercing her through dark lashes.

 

Just breathe. She told herself as she struggled to maintain his gaze and still hold onto even an ounce of calm.

 

“Why do you doubt my innocence?” She demanded, proud of the force in her voice.

 

His eyes narrowed minutely. “Because you are human.”

 

Inwardly, her throat closed around the rising bile. She felt as though he struck her. Outwardly, she couldn't stop the subtle flutter of her eyelashes.

 

“All the easier for you to sense the truth in my words.” She countered calmly even as the agony his words had caused worked its way through her being.

 

Just a useless human. That's all I'll ever be...

 

His reply came in a tone of icy indifference. “True. Humans are pathetic at hiding their emotions making them exceptionally easy to read. His eyes narrowed. “But they also have a tendency to convince themselves of their own deceits.”

 

Something snapped in her mind and Rin couldn't help it. Her laughter was low and cynical. “Are you suggesting that I am lying…to myself?”

 

“You believe that your associations with the tiger were innocent.” He did not quite sneer as he spoke, but Rin couldn't ignore the disgust wrapped around the word “associations.”

 

Her laughter halted abruptly as she came to stand directly in front of him and fix him with an unwavering glare. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage and she fought to control the shiver of anger and fear that rippled across her skin from the tips of her toes to the follicles of her scalp.

 

“Shall I tell you about my associations with the Master Kane, M'lord?” She moved slowly now, her voice low, a lump forming in her throat as she struggled to hold back tears. A thick grey cloud had settled firmly over her heart and she felt numb as she moved towards the demon lord who tortured her with every biting word.

 

“There were four demons ripping at you, tearing at you, drowning you…”

 

“Silence.” He commanded shortly as he turned his back on her once more.

 

“NO!” She yelled. “You wanted to know…now you must listen!” He stood rigidly, his back to her still, but gave no other protest as she stalked closer to him continuing her tale.

 

“When they dragged me away, I knew you were weak from the troll poisons, I knew that you were dying. But there was nothing I could do…I…if only I had been stronger…if only I wasn't this weak…” She dragged in a heavy breath and shook her head.

 

Stop it! Get a hold oh yourself! She commanded herself and continued, her voice eerily hollow even to her own ears, but steady now as she let the memory invade her.

 

“I passed out. When I woke again, I was…alive,” She choked on the word `alive' as though it were the vilest curse she had ever uttered. “And I was Lord Kane's life mate. But, he wasn't the Master Kane I knew. He…he was different. He was insane. He told me you were dead and that I belonged to him now. Your death killed something in me and I wanted to…I tried to die, but he wouldn't allow it. He said he still needed me alive. He didn't say what he needed from me and I couldn't imagine, but after a month of healing, he began his…visits. I thought that was what he needed me for. He tried to force himself on me several times, but…but he never followed through. I assumed he was impendent. Until the night he made me please him… in other ways.”

 

Her eyes went dull and her voice went flat as she suddenly dropped to the floor in front of him and reached for his Hakama. “Shall I show you, M'lord? Perhaps that is all you think me good for as well?”

 

But as soon as she touched the fabric of his pants he growled, grabbing her by the upper arms and dragging her back to her feet.

 

Hopeless despair washed over her and she wailed brokenly as he pulled her to her feet, putting a stop to her self humiliation.

 

“Never…” He whispered fiercely, and threw her across the room.

 

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Rin woke with a start, a sob breaking from her lips, tears soaking her face and her heart aching with a familiar sting.

 

A dream.

 

She had been dreaming of that night…that night she had last spoken to him…that night he had left her standing there so alone, disappearing from her life forever. She had wanted to go after him, but she hadn't been brave enough to face what she was sure her confrontation would have led to. He had obviously been disgusted by her weak display of emotion. She cringed as she recalled how she had forced herself on him, kissing him so desperately.

 

No, she hadn't gone after him. He would surely have cast her away. His hatred would have been like fire burning in his eyes, his disgust so evident in his words. She had been so sure of it, and she knew her heart wouldn't have been able to take such rejection. Not from him.

 

Rin swallowed the lump in her throat as she lay there now.

 

She hadn't thought of Lord Sesshoumaru for a long time. Many weeks. But now, in the dead of night, curled up on her sleeping pad and engulfed in the inky darkness of night, she let the memories come.

 

She had fled that night after her confrontation with Lord Sesshoumaru furious, confused, but most of all she had been hurt.

 

She had stood, unmoving, for several moments after his departure, trying to decipher what had just transpired.

 

`How could he not see the way I feel? Surely he was able to detect the truth in my words?'

 

But she remembered too late that he would indeed have been able to sense the truth of her words…if she had spoken the truth. She had cringed as she had recalled the biting remarks rather than honest answers she had shot back at his questions.

 

But, it didn't matter. He belonged to another. What good would have come from trying to convince him that she loved him or that she was tortured with the knowledge that he would never feel the same?

 

It had been the most difficult decision she had ever made, to let him go; to let the man she had loved her whole life turn away from her with doubt still in his eyes.

 

She had dressed quickly in black hakama and robes tied with a red sash, a pair of soft black shoes and a strap of leather to tie her hair back, all of which she had “borrowed' from Master Kane's wardrobe that was still in their chambers. She had also “borrowed” a long staff from Master Kane's trunk of weapons, one she had remembered once admiring from afar. The only other thing she took with her was the fragrant sachet of cherry blossom petals Master Jaken had given her, which she tucked safely away in her robes, and as she turned to leave she stopped and went back. The jade hilted dagger went into her obi at her waist and then she was gone.

 

She had slipped from the palace as the first rays of sun shone over the hills, and breaking into a run, she had not stopped until she reached the river. Gasping for breath and fearing being followed, she made her decision. She jumped into the river and turned south, following the current. She traveled that way for two days, before the river broke off into several streams. She continued southward for another day before she detected the first signs of a human village. But she never made it to the village on her own. Her body had long ago stopped shivering from the cold water and her feet and legs were numb. Her eye sight began to fade, as she thought with mild disgust about having to live amongst humans once more, and then there was only blackness.

 

She had awoke several days later and had found herself in the care of the village lord, Koronoskae Takaeda. He had found her unconscious, had brought her back to his home, and had cared for her, nursing her back to health.

 

Rin came out of the memory blinking into the darkness, but she was soon lost in other thoughts.

 

Over five cycles of the moon had passed since then. At first, she had missed Lord Sesshoumaru with every breath, had thought of him every moment, and had longed for him with every heartbeat. But time had inevitably passed and one night she had fallen into bed after spending the day with Lord Takaeda only to suddenly realize that she hadn't thought of Lord Sesshoumaru even once throughout the day. The guilt that washed over her was sickening, but her first reaction had been panic. Panic that she would forget him; panic that she could. Her rational mind had to remind her that she hadn't forgotten him and that she was at that very moment thinking of him.

 

She remembered the long agonizing months bound to Master Kane, and how she had wanted to die. Thinking Lord Sesshoumaru dead, she had lost her will to live. She had thought of him every moment then as well. But it had been different. Her memories had been clouded, those intimate memories so full of her love for him faded, and her feelings smothered under a thick haze. All she had known then was that she had despaired over his loss and the loss of those memories. But, being bound to Master Kane hadn't damped the heartbreak of Lord Sesshoumaru's death. She had wanted to forget what she couldn't quite remember, needed to forget. She had longed for the peace of eternal sleep.

 

But, now it was different. Knowing he was alive and well mended that part of her soul that had been lost when she had thought him dead. She no longer wished for death. She just wanted him to be happy now, and to cherish those newly restored memories of those few breathtaking moments with him. She had worried about him at first, heartbroken that he would be all alone, but each time her thoughts wandered to his loneliness, she was reminded of the new Lady of the West. He was not lonely. He did not need her anymore.

 

He never needed me. She reminded herself.

 

Does he ever think of me?

 

Has he…forgotten me?

 

Lord Takaeda emerged unbidden from the recesses of her thoughts and she smiled as she thought of him now. He is so kind…and trusting. By human standards, he was much older than her, 14 years older, but what did that matter to her when she was more accustomed to residing with a century old demon lord and a two century old Kappa. Lord Takaeda was practically her own age in comparison. He was also intelligent and charming, and very handsome. He laughed often, spoke to her of his hopes and dreams, and he was kind and fair to his people. He was so different from the humans she remembered from so long ago, from another lifetime it seemed. Over the months, she and Lord Takaeda had spent many a day together talking, or just being in each other's presence. Their friendship grew stronger with each and every meal they shared, every walk they took, every conversation they had.

 

It was one of those conversations in which Rin had learned that Lord Takaeda had been in love with a beautiful demon slayer and had been shocked to learn that the slayer was none other than one of Inuyasha's companions, Sango. Lord Takaeda had told her that she, herself, had reminded him of his Sango, his long lost and unrequited love, when he had first lain eyes on her in the forest in her black clothing and ponytail.

 

Rin hadn't admitted to Lord Takaeda that she knew of the slayer, for she didn't wish to discuss how she knew of Sango. She didn't wish to discuss Inuyasha, which would lead to discussion of Inuyasha's older brother. She didn't wish to discuss Lord Sesshoumaru, or her own heartache and unrequited love. Lord Takaeda had been more than willing to accept that she didn't remember much of her past after her illness, and hadn't pried.

 

It was another one of those conversations that had lead to the subject of marriage and it was on this very night that he had requested her hand in marriage. She felt a warm blush bloom on her cheeks as she recalled his proposal.

 

The sun was just setting and the sky was a lovely painting of pinks and oranges. They stood on the small wooden bridge that arched over the charming little coy pond in the back of the large house. The water shimmered with light blues and silvers in the fading light and two fat orange and white coy swam in lazy circles just under the surface.

 

“Rin, I know that you are lost and alone in this world, but you were brought here to me. I have cared for you, have come to know you, and now I wish to share the rest of my life with you.”

 

Her heart had leapt into her throat and her first reaction had been to pull away from him and run. She had felt the blush creep into her cheeks as she struggled to maintain control of her breath. She had been caught off guard by his offer. She didn't love him, and she knew that it wouldn't be fair to him to marry without love, but he didn't truly love her either, did he? Perhaps it was time to consider something other than love. Companionship?

 

“I am not the demon slayer you are in love with.” She had spoken softly, unsure of her voice.

 

“How can I love a dream? My Sango is nothing more than a beautiful dream to me now. But you are real, Rin. Marry me.”

 

Rin sighed into the darkness once more as she tried to calm her thundering heart, the memory fading.

 

I'm getting married… She tried saying it out loud, but she couldn't push the words from her diaphragm, …to a human man. To someone who is not…

 

An image of Lord Sesshoumaru flashed through her thoughts as she tried to force the declaration out. His golden eyes pierced her soul in her mind's eye. She hadn't given Lord Takaeda an answer yet.

 

 

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The new Lord of the combined North and West stood looking down the slope of the grassy hill that met white sandy beach and contained the palace he had called home his whole life. The sound of the waves breaking on the sandy shore came to his ears and the cool sea breeze swirled around him as he stood there. Ah-Un's field was in full bloom, the bright yellow of the wild flowers shining cheerily in the summer sunlight and he was reminded of the happy young woman that once graced the fields. He shifted his gaze to the palace, willing the thought of her away. He was used to her invading his mind now though, and he was not happy about it, he was at least satisfied that he could conduct himself almost normally once more. He had come to terms with her being there, always in the back of his mind. He had always known she would eventually be gone from his life and that he would continue as before, but it was different knowing that she was still in the world. Just not his. Even married to Lord Kazuo she would still be in his neighboring region. He would at least still have been able to see her on occasion and ensure her protection throughout her life. Not knowing where she was or how she fared threatened to drive him mad.

 

He had discovered her gone the evening the ceremony had been completed. He had gone in search of her, wishing to speak with her again. Wanting to correct the look of mistrust and confusion in her eyes. Wanting to erase the memory of her pushing him away. He had been determined, in fact, to make her forgive his foolishness.

 

In the instant she had whispered her innocent denial, even if it had only been a fragment of a statement, he had known that she would never have betrayed him. She had been a pawn in Kane's game of treachery, used to get under his skin. And it had worked. He had found himself jealous beyond all reason and had lashed out at her like a coward. In that single moment, when she had returned his kiss briefly only to then push him away, he had realized that it was he whom had betrayed her. The realization combined with the look of confusion and mistrust in her eyes shamed him to the core. He had done something he hadn't done in decades. He had fled.

 

He had searched for her that evening, after the ceremony had been completed and after the treaty had been signed, fully intending to order her forgiveness. She had never disobeyed him. Surely she would not in this matter. And if that didn't work, he would ask her for it, he grudgingly told himself. And if she still refused he knew that for this, for her…he would beg.

 

But he hadn't found her. He knew the moment he entered her rooms. The emptiness was overwhelming, the silence deafening.

 

She was gone.

 

He had stood for a moment using all of his senses trying to detect her. He searched for even the slightest hint of her feminine fragrance, or the slightest hint of her subtle sound, and when he picked up the sweet scent of cherry blossoms and the salt of tears he headed out into the dimming light of dusk after her. He followed her trail through the forest for hours before coming to the river where it abruptly stopped. It had felt like a sharp gut wrenching punch to his gut when he realized that she had chosen to travel in the icy water. It sickened him to know that she didn't want o be followed.

 

`Clever wench.' He had admitted, grudgingly impressed by her evasive tactics. He would have to choose which direction to search and hope that it was correct. And if his search resulted in nothing, he would have to go the other direction and hope that some sign of her trail was still evident once he reached the point where she exited the river.

 

He stayed in the North and with Lord Kazuo's assistance, they had searched for her for weeks, both by land and by air only to come to a point from one direction where the river forked out in several different directions and where it bubbled into existence from an underground source from the other direction. Her trail had gone cold. She was well and truly gone.

 

At first, he had worried over her, wondering if she had met some horrible fate at the teeth and claws of a vicious lesser demon. But no sign of her ever came about and he eventually resigned himself to the knowledge that she was somewhere in the world perhaps even having found some human village to live out the rest of her human existence. He found himself hoping time and time again that she was her happy self once more as the joy that once resided in her laughter and the love that encased the melodies of her song invaded his thoughts on a continual basis.

 

As time passed, he began to grow angry at the invading thoughts, as he found himself distracted time and time again. He was a formidable demon lord to be respected and feared by all. He was lord of the most extensive and most powerful territory of all the lands with access to the central trade routes that no other territory had. Such `lovesickness' was a weakness that was beneath him. That was the end of it!

 

He had headed home after finalizing the transfer of the Northern lands from Lord Masahiro to himself and after several days of travel and a short stop in the central regions where he parted ways with Lord Kazuo, he had finally reached the edges of the enchanted forest that surrounded his homeland and had stopped to pay his respects to Bokosenou.

 

“Ah! Young Lord Sesshoumaru! The winds bring me news of the completion of your father's treaty! You are to be congratulated!” The tree had boomed with joy. But the tree grew somber as he looked down at the emotionless demon.

 

“The winds have also whispered of the Lady Rin, alive and mated.” The tree looked around expectantly and then fixed his gaze on Sesshoumaru once more.

 

“She was mated to Kane, but is no longer.” Sesshoumaru stated simply.

 

“Ah, I had hoped that perhaps…you and she…”

 

“No.” Sesshoumaru denied the unfinished statement curtly.

 

“She is…gone. She may very well be dead.” He had said, trying to sound indifferent, but he had felt the strange lump in his throat rising and threatening to choke him.

 

The tree's gaze shifted slowly out over Sesshoumaru's head and he watched as the grey eyes clouded over as if lost in a dream. “No.” The tree whispered, and then blinked and fixed the young demon with his gaze once more.

 

“Why have you not brought her home?” The tree asked in a clipped tone.

 

“I have never forced her to stay with me. She has always been free to leave and so she finally has.” Sesshoumaru had answered back, a little annoyed at the tree's sudden anger. “It is for the best, Bokousenou. We have already had this discussion!”

 

“True, it is for the best, for that young woman would never have left your side even in death had you not forced her. If that is how you truly feel about her, if you still cannot see her worth, then you do not deserve her or the strength she gave you.” The tree said coldly and with that, his eyes went dead and he was nothing but a tree once more.

 

“What strength?” He demanded sharply, but the tree stayed silent.

 

The demon tree had never been so disrespectful. It shocked Sesshoumaru and he was shamed once more at how after these past few weeks he had reverted to his stubborn, childish ways of locking away and denying his true feelings. No more. He would not disrespect Rin in such a manner. Had anyone else dared to treat her as foully has he had himself, he would have killed them without hesitating. But he was the one that had betrayed her. He had loved her and then betrayed her. The magnolia had been correct. He had fled from her rather than make her see his true feelings and he had driven her away.

 

He had contemplated the tree's words as he made his way through the forest. What strength did the demon magnolia speak of? Indeed, what strength had his father's human woman brought him? But even as he thought about it, other more subtle things came to mind. He thought of how the house servants had loved Rin as a child and respected her as a woman, never questioning her unspoken authority as lady of the house. He thought of how Jaken and Ah-Un loved her as a family member and how she had returned that love unquestioningly. He thought of how Lord Kazuo willingly and indeed proudly accepted her as his future life mate. He thought of how Masahiro had been completely taken with her, even when she was known only as his nephew's mate. How could everyone, lesser and greater demon alike, love her but him?

 

The answer to that question came to him immediately and without hesitation. He did love her.

 

But what strength had she ever given him?

 

His dreams came to him unbidden as he searched his reasoning for answers. Dreams that he had been having for so many years now. Dreams that meant nothing to him…and suddenly everything.

 

*FLASH*

“Do not do this!” his mother's voice sobbed from somewhere far away, begging his father. “Look at what it has done to us! Look at what it has done to you!”

 

“There is no other way!” his father responded gruffly. “It is already decided.”

 

His future had been taken from him. He had never been given a choice. Never been given a chance to prove his worth on his own.

 

He was Worthless.

 

*FLASH*

His closest friend stood before him sobbing brokenheartedly, her face in her hands. He had wanted to ease her troubled heart, but he had no clue how to go about it. He took her hands from her face and squeezed them lightly as tears flowed freely down her face. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him with bright hazel eyes that glowed with brilliant green flecks and nodded.

 

She hadn't been given a choice. She would never have the chance to want, and be wanted, love and be loved. He would watch the light in her eyes grow dim as she let him mark her and he had felt a sense of wrongness. And he felt guilty.

 

He was Guilty.

 

*FLASH*

His father was dead! He had been killed in the battle that had merely put his enemy, Ryuukotsusei, in a dormant state. His mother had died many years before that, and now he was truly alone in the world. The all consuming desire for vengeance flooded his heart. It was in every breath he took. He would need strength. He would need power.

 

He was alone in this world now. The only way to protect himself was to detach himself, to not care anymore.

 

He was Hurt.

 

*FLASH*

It had been over a century since his father's demise and he had inherited all of his father's estates, territories, and the title `Lord of the Western Lands.” His pathetic half brother had somehow managed to succeed in killing Ryuukotsusei. The panther demon tribes were no longer enemies though they were still not allies. He no longer felt the hatred he had so long ago. He no longer felt anything. All he wanted was to expand his territories and to become a power such that none would ever dare to challenge. All who would oppose him would die!

 

He had become cold and uncaring. Cold blooded, and merciless.

 

He was Heartless.

 

*FLASH*

He gave one last powerful blow with his mighty sword Toukijin, and the bothersome half demon Naraku, who had tried to manipulate him, died with a pitiful wail.

 

“NNNOOOooo!”

 

Hundreds of smaller demons suddenly began to form from the toxic miasma that had been Naraku. He merely turned and began to walk away.

 

“I leave the rest to Tetsusaiga.” He said to his half brother who looked on with his usual stupid look of astonishment on his face. He could hear his half brother's war cry as he walked deeper into the forest, and then felt the awesome power of the great fang in the air.

 

“WINDSCAR!”

 

He had expected satisfaction when the pathetic half demon died, but he had felt nothing. The emptiness was still there. He was still lost. Still empty.

 

He was Incomplete.

 

*FLASH*

Laughter! He remembered that.

Companionship! He remembered that.

Friendship, devotion, innocence, joy, curiosity, fascination, imagination! He suddenly remembered all these things. They all flooded back into his heart through a pair of dazzling hazel eyes.

Love…?

 

Rin had brought all of this back into his life, but with it she had brought so much more. She had adored him for no other reason then that he was him. She had given him a purpose in life. She had made him feel worth something for the first time in his life. He had never forced her to stay with him. He had always let her choose. And she had stayed with him of her own free will. She had left all she had known and stayed with him. She had stayed by his side and had filled the whole where the ache of loneliness had been and it didn't hurt so much anymore. With her, he had discovered that he wasn't as cold and heartless as he had convinced himself he was. With her by his side he had felt a sense of completion. With her, he had finally been home.

 

All of this. She had given him all of this. If this wasn't strength, then he would never know such a thing.

 

Now, as Sesshoumaru stood looking out over the ancient palace of his ancestors that sat at the western most tip of where the lands met the sea, his birthplace and the place that had been his home for over a century, he knew that it would never truly be home again. Not without her by his side.

 

Love…?

 

“Come, Jaken. We are going.” He commanded and turned, melting into the forest, his baffled retainer sputtering and trailing after him.

 

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Thanks to everyone for reading. I've already got a rough draft of the last chapter. Started, so hopefully it won't take me so long to get it posted. Please leave me a quick review and let me know what you thought.