InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Our Decision ❯ Still second best ( Chapter 4 )

A/N: Hey guys! Ok, I'm finally making headway on chapter four. Please don't hate me for taking so long. Anyway, here it is.

 

Disclaimer: -runs from hordes of men in black suits- Alright! Alright! I don't own InuYasha!

 

It was dark. Though the room was slightly illuminated by the iridescent moon, Kagome saw no light. She stared aimlessly out her window, envying the rain that blanketed the world outside. It was free to cry without feeling so alone and isolated. She stifled a sob. All she had to comfort her were the shadows that danced across the wall. Why did she feel so empty? It wasn't as if she had lost InuYasha forever.

 

`Maybe, but things will never be the same again,' her mind pried. That thought scared Kagome more than anything else. She missed the silly fights they used to have, and the sweet sentiments that would come from them every so often. That was by far better than the awkward silence that had now nestled itself between the two—better than the intense feuds they had in their rare moments of conversation.

 

“I thought this would bring us closer,” Kagome whispered softly within the stillness of her room. She knew she was wrong—that this was tearing them apart. Her thoughts returned to the look InuYasha had given her. “He's never looked at me that way before.” She let out a small cry of distress. “I wish this had never happened, that things could just be the same again.”

 

Kagome tore her gaze from the window, staring around her room. She heard voices coming from downstairs. Her heart lurched as she took a quick glance at her clock. Who would be talking at three in the morning? She narrowed her eyes as she moved toward the door, trying to pick up the discussion.

 

“That's absurd! How could she even consider something like this?”

 

“I don't know! I tried talking to her, but she wasn't listening! I even talked to InuYasha about it!”

 

Kagome gasped at the mentioning of the hanyou's name. She slowly turned the handle on the door, cracking it open to listen more intently.

 

“Please tell me that InuYasha has a little more sense than Kagome,” she heard her grandfather say.

 

There was a brief pause before her mother spoke. “I think he's just confused about the whole thing. Kagome said he was totally against the idea, but when I asked him to convince her not to go through with it, he seemed reluctant.”

 

Kagome slammed her door shut, backing away from it. `So, it's all her fault?' Kagome questioned herself incredulously. `If she hadn't talked to InuYasha, then he may have never said those things to me.' She felt betrayed. Why would her mother do this?

 

She inhaled sharply, seeing a figure pass through her vision. Her heart skipped a beat as she felt something graze her shoulder.

 

“Kagome.”

 

Lightning flashed outside, creating just enough brightness for Kagome to catch glimpse of a very wet InuYasha standing behind her. Realizing that he must have been out in the rain, she let out a relieved sigh and turned to face him. Even through darkness, the moment her eyes met his was a defining one. Her breathing became shallow as she continued to stare at him. His form was captivating, the moonlight softly touching his dampened skin.

 

InuYasha remained silent, holding his penetrating gaze almost curiously so, to see what her next action would be.

 

Indignant and bitter towards her mother, Kagome had a sudden urge to go against her. In that instant when all coherent thoughts had vanished, she turned around, her fingers slowly touching the lock on her door. She made up her mind and turned it.

 

InuYasha maintained his perplexed stare. What was Kagome doing? “Wha-” was all he could muster out before her lips collided with his. He was in utter shock. Where did this come from? He regained his composure and pulled away from her. “What the hell do you think you're doing?” he hissed.

 

“Don't say anything,” she whispered, quickly brushing her mouth across his. “Please, InuYasha?”

 

His body was giving in quickly; his hands began to run down the length of her body, but his mind was screaming for him to stop. Still, he felt himself being pushed against a wall. His lips were trailing down her neck and his hands were tugging at her clothes. `Damn it,' he thought. `This shouldn't happen now, but…' He let out a deep groan as Kagome removed the two layers of his kimono, lightly caressing his chest with her fingers. `I don't know if I can stop.'

 

Kagome was in pure bliss. For once she didn't care about school or exams. She wasn't thinking about what her mother thought. Everything about being stuck in Kikyo's shadow flew out the window. For her, it was only this moment, every kiss and every touch. She pulled him closer, leaning in to capture his lips once more.

 

“Wait,” he said huskily, turning his head away from her. “I don't think…”

 

“Don't think, then.” She placed her hand on the side of his face, giving it a gentle stroke. Tossing him a playful smile, she kissed his chin, continuing this action down the side of his neck.

 

InuYasha pushed against her, despite his better judgment. His mind turned with ponderings. Why was she all of a sudden pushing him into this? Wasn't she still mad about what he had said to her? His lips brushed against hers quickly before he pulled back. “Kagome.”

 

“What?” she breathed, sliding her hands down the sides of his arms.

 

He moved his head closer to her, nibbling her earlobe affectionately. “I thought you were mad at me.”

 

His statement startled her. She hadn't even been thinking about what happened earlier. How was it that she had gained the nerve to start this? “InuYasha…I…” She couldn't think of what to say to him. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she decided to change the subject. “Did my mother talk to you?”

 

InuYasha hesitated for a moment. “That's not important,” he said.

 

“No, I want to know. Did she say anything to you about our situation?”

 

It was at that time that the pieces began to fit together. `Kagome must know what her mother said to me. Is that why she's doing this? Is it just spite?' His expression darkened as he realized this. He moved her hands off his shoulders, pushing her away. “Yeah, she might of said somethin'. Why does it matter?”

 

Kagome glared. “It matters because I know that she's the one that convinced you to say that you didn't want this!” Her anger was rising. Why was he avoiding this?

 

“No, I said that because I wanted to! She had nothin' to do with it!”

 

“What?” Kagome bit her lip, knowing that her voice had been a little louder than she intended. She could hear her heart pounding against her chest in the momentary silence that the room was infused with.

 

There was a knock at the door. “Kagome?”

 

`Now I'm done for!' she thought, groaning inwardly. “Just a minute, Mom!” She turned toward InuYasha, or where she thought he was. Kagome blinked. He had already left.

 

“Kagome,” her mother called again.

 

Kagome quickly straightened her clothes as if trying to brush away all signs of her encounter with InuYasha. She slowly opened her door, trying her best to give the appearance of being tired. “What's going on?” she asked listlessly as she gave a rather exaggerated yawn.

 

Mrs. Higurashi looked at her daughter austerely, her gaze unwavering. “Would you mind telling me what all the noise was up here?” Her voice was strangely calm, but somehow Kagome got the feeling that there was a raging storm going on inside of her.

 

“What noise?” Kagome laughed nervously, trying to pull off the innocent look.

 

“I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. There were some interesting sounds coming from here, not to mention the yelling, and I could've sworn I heard InuYasha's voice. Can you tell me what that was about?”

 

There was no good answer. She could either go into complete denial, or confess and beg for mercy. No matter what she said, she was doomed.

 

Her mother softened her eyes. “Kagome, what exactly were you and InuYasha doing up here?”

 

“We were fighting,” she replied coolly. “What did you expect after what you said to him?” Kagome tried to keep her tone at ease; she hated talking back to her mother.

 

Mrs. Higurashi sighed. “I suppose you heard your grandfather and I talking, then? Look, I want you to know that I understand this is your decision, but-”

 

“Then why are you trying to make it for me?” It was obvious that Kagome was trying to suppress her anger as her voice quivered. She fixed her gaze on her mother, waiting for her response.

 

“I'm not trying to decide anything for you! I just want what's in your best interest, that's all! You're too young! This would ruin your life!”

 

“You told InuYasha to convince me that this was a bad idea!” she pointed out, still maintaining her stare. “How is that not deciding for me? You can't just interfere with my life like that, Mom! Do you even have the slightest idea of what this whole mess has been like for me?”

 

“I'm sure I don't, but…” Her mother took succinct glance at her. “I know that you're not ready for this. I've seen you around InuYasha, and I can already tell that you're both too insecure to take such a huge step in your relationship. It's not right to try and force yourselves into this just because of your friend.”

 

“I'm not forcing…” Kagome trailed off. She knew that she was lying. `I was the one trying to make InuYasha have sex with me just to get back at my mother. It's not fair to him.' There was nothing more she wanted to do right now than apologize to him.

 

Mrs. Higurashi looked at her daughter inquisitively. “Kagome?”

 

“Mom, I know it's late, but there's something I need to take care of. I need to go back to the other era for a while.” She spoke faintly as if trying to make up for her earlier screaming.

 

Her mother nodded. “Just don't make any reckless choices while you're there. Promise you'll think about what I said.”

 

(0000000000000000)

 

Kagome climbed out of the well. She yawned, stretching her arms and brushing off her skirt. `Please be awake, InuYasha,' she prayed. Kagome ambled forward, heading for Kaede's village. She caught a small glow out of the corner of her eye. `What was-” She stopped herself, watching the snake-like figure fly past. `Kikyo's soul stealer…' Her heart sank. She knew where InuYasha was now.

 

Though she didn't want to see what was ahead, she felt compelled to follow. It was a strange feeling, like she somehow knew that this was something she had to do. Kagome continued after the shining figure. She listened absorbedly, hearing Kikyo's voice.

 

“It seems Naraku has hidden himself again,” she said. “I'm not completely sure of his whereabouts, but I've been feeling a strong demonic aura passing back and forth throughout these lands.”

 

“You don't have to look for him,” InuYasha told her. “I'll get revenge for both of us, I made that promise. You shouldn't be the one going after him.”

 

“It is our revenge to make, InuYasha, and I intend to assist in some way.”

 

He nodded, taking a pleading look at her. “I know, but…I don't want you to get hurt again. I want to protect you.” InuYasha moved closer to Kikyo, putting his arms around her. “I made that promise too.”

 

Kagome turned away. `I don't think I can watch this.' She quickly began to walk away, fighting the urge to run. `They were just talking,' she tried to convince herself. `There's nothing wrong with that.' She shook her head. No matter what they were doing, the fact that he was with Kikyo still inflicted an internal pain that just wouldn't cease. She couldn't help it; sinking down by the nearest tree, she cried.

 

(00000000000000000)

 

`I can smell her tears,' InuYasha thought, as he made his way through the forest he was secluded in. He hadn't even realized Kagome was back. Then again, he didn't realize much of anything these days. `I can't believe it! I haven't even thought about Naraku since this whole thing with Miroku started! Now he's somewhere out there and I'm not even doing anything to stop him!'

 

InuYasha mentally cursed himself. He was losing track of everything. Looking up, he saw Kagome. She was crouched down beside a tree, her head resting against her knees.

 

“Hey,” she said softly, not even taking a glance at him.

 

“Kagome I…why are you crying?”

 

She stood up slowly, turning to face him. “I saw you with Kikyo,” she said. “I know you were just talking, but it hurts me to know that…”

 

InuYasha stared, waiting for her to continue.

 

“…You would go so far with me and still…” She choked on her words. She didn't know why she was doing this. She came here to apologize to him and now it seemed expecting him to do so.

 

“Hey, you forced yourself on me!” he alleged. “You can't be upset about that!”

 

“I know, I'm sorry! I don't want to be mad at you, but I just can't help it!” She took a deep breath. “I just thought that since you gave in…that maybe you were changing your mind about having the baby, or that you actually felt something for me.”

 

“Even if I did agree, you would have to get it through your head that we would be doing it to save Miroku! This is not for us, it's for him!”

 

He really didn't feel anything. Kagome couldn't help but avoid his eyes. She didn't want him to see her disheartened expression.

 

“Is that what this is about?” InuYasha asked, trudging over to her, grabbing her chin to make her face him. “You want this to make us closer?”

 

“I just want to have something with you that is mine, ok?” she cried. “I know it's selfish, but I just hate…being second best.”

 

InuYasha glared. `She only wants something that Kikyo never had? So, she's trying to make me choose her?' His anger built up to a point where all of his self-control was lost. The strike was quick and swift, so unexpected that even InuYasha gasped at his own actions. `I…I hit her!'

 

A/N: Dundundun! What now? Hehe! Ok, I finally finished this. I'm sorry that it took so long. I will have you know that I was wavering on whether to have a lemon in the chapter or not. So, I made a pros and cons chart. It worked out for the best, I think. Anyway, reviews are much appreciated.