InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Our Decision ❯ Blue (Part 1) ( Chapter 6 )

A/N: Ok, here's chapter six. Be prepared, because this is going to be an “intense” chapter.

 

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha. I do have two plushies of him, though. I have the half-demon one and the human one. Kawaii!

 

Chapter 6: Blue (Part 1)

 

InuYasha's breathing was shallow, but steady, as he dealt with the tantalizing thoughts running through his head. His whole body felt like a bundle of nerves that he couldn't gain control over. It was odd—he had never been so anxious in his life. He watched small embers dance out of the fire in front of him, illuminating the dark cave. After coming to his decision, he had spent all day in silence, never speaking, his mind running wild. Now, in the shadows of the night, he was more at peace with himself.

 

His gaze altered to the sleeping girl on the other side of the cave. As he watched her serene expression, he couldn't help but wonder if he had made the right choice. “Kagome,” he murmured, standing up to look closer at her. Smiling faintly, he slowly edged toward her, kneeling next to that “bag” she slept in. A small stab of pain shot through his heart as he caught a glimpse of the bruise on her cheek.

 

InuYasha placed his hand on the wound, massaging it with his soft caress. `She shouldn't have stayed,' he thought to himself, despite the fact that he was inwardly ecstatic that she had decided to do so. He sighed, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. The sound of her exhaling combined with her intoxicating scent created such a calming atmosphere. He closed his eyes, letting himself drown in it. Before he could allow himself to drift off, everything stopped.

 

`What?' InuYasha glanced down at Kagome, waiting for her to breath, but she didn't. “Kagome!” he whispered frantically. He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her as gently as possible.

 

Kagome coughed violently, her eyes opening wide as she bolted upright. “InuYasha,” she cried insistently, looking around the cave in utter horror.

 

InuYasha shushed her, pulling her close to his body. “What happened?”

 

She looked up at him earnestly. “I don't know. I had a dream…a nightmare. I told Sango that we couldn't get Miroku back,” she explained, shivering. “Sango just started crying…she wouldn't stop. Her tears suddenly turned into a wave of water and forced me to the ground. I was trapped underneath it. I couldn't breath.” Kagome gripped InuYasha's shoulders, sinking into the comforting heat that he offered. “I guess all of this is because I know Sango will be upset when we tell her that we won't…” She trailed off.

 

InuYasha nodded, taking off his haori and wrapping it around Kagome's quivering form.

 

She began to relax, welcoming the warmth. “So, you've made up you mind, then?” Kagome asked, though she was quite confident that she knew the answer.

 

“Yeah,” he said bluntly as he avoided her curious stare.

 

“And?” Kagome watched his face with unwavering intensity. `That was a stupid question,' she told herself, frowning slightly.

 

“Ain't it obvious?”

 

Kagome lowered her gaze. `Right,' she thought. `I figured as much.' She sat there, watching the floor in perfect reticence. She didn't want him to see her disappointed expression. `How could I have hoped he had changed his mind?'

 

“It's not like we have much of a choice,” InuYasha continued suddenly. “We can't just…” He hesitated for a moment. “…Leave Miroku there.”

 

Kagome looked up at him; he was staring right at her. “InuYasha, you're…” She shook her head in disbelief. This had to be a dream. There was no way he'd give her so much fuss about not wanting this, and then turn around and agree to it. “Please don't joke about this. We both know what you really want, so don't-”

 

“I'm dead serious.” He tightened his grip around her. “I thought about it for a long time. I know what I said, but…I don't want to hurt you anymore.” He spoke those last words quickly and barely above a whisper.

 

“You're not hurting me,” Kagome said meekly, leaning closer to his touch.

 

“Don't lie, Kagome.” InuYasha took a painful glance at her cheek. “You've cried more in this past week than I've ever seen you cry before. I don't want to be the cause of that.”

 

“InuYasha…” She instinctively looked up at him with gentle eyes.

 

“Would you guys be quiet already?” a very annoyed Shippo grumbled quite abruptly, crawling off of Kagome's sleeping bag. “Some of us are trying to sleep!”

 

(0000000000000000)

 

“Are you serious? You're actually going to…” Sango was in too much shock to continue.

 

InuYasha and Kagome had just announced their final decision that morning, taking a rather eager Sango by surprise. Though InuYasha had promised her, she still had her doubts about whether or whether not he would actually see it through.

 

“This is great!” Sango said with the happy expression that had been absent from her face since Miroku had been captured.

 

Kagome smiled amiably at Sango, who, from the looks of it, had completely brightened up. `Now, all of this tension can finally go away.'

 

(0000000000000000)

 

`Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!' Kagome let out an exasperated sigh as she leaned against a tree in the nearby forest. It had been three whole days since she and InuYasha had decided to have the baby, and with every passing second the anxiety between them grew. `How are we supposed to do this if he won't even get near me?' she asked herself.

 

InuYasha had been constantly, almost purposefully, avoiding her during the last couple of days. She understood his nervousness, but this was becoming too much of a tedious task. `I have to fight so hard just to get him alone, and then he makes some excuse so he can leave.' Kagome began tapping her fingers on the ground absentmindedly, as if further implying her frustration. `This shouldn't be so hard.'

 

She tilted her head backwards, letting a warm breeze graze her face. Bringing her hand up to her cheek, she smiled. The bruise was almost completely gone; all traces of that incident had nearly vanished. She was fairly sure that InuYasha was beginning to feel less culpable now that the wound was healing, not that she saw him enough to really know.

 

“Do you mind if I join you?”

 

Kagome turned her head slightly, seeing Sango standing beside her with a reserved look about her. “No, I don't mind.”

 

Sango settled against the tree. “InuYasha sent me,” she said. “He didn't want you out here alone.”

 

“I see.” Kagome sighed. `And he couldn't come down here himself because…?'

 

“Kagome, I have to tell you something.” Sango took a sympathetic glance at her friend. She inhaled deeply, wanting to sound sincere. “What I said to you before, about being selfish, was wrong, and I apologize.”

 

Kagome didn't understand where this was coming from. She didn't want an apology, and didn't expect one; that wouldn't be right. “I was being selfish, though!”

 

“We're all being selfish in our own way,” Sango pressed. “Either way, I should have been comforting you. Instead, I yelled at you. It wasn't fair.”

 

Kagome said nothing for a long while. Clearly, Sango was not going to let it be; she obviously wanted some kind of reconciliation. “Sango, I get it,” Kagome told her finally. “You just want Miroku back. You were probably just scared that if InuYasha and I were fighting so badly, then that would never happen. What you said had nothing to do with me, but only those feelings.” Kagome gave her a reassuring smile.

 

Sango nodded. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” She turned her head away as her face began to develop a pink hue. “There is one more thing I want to know,” she stated rather shakily. “You and InuYasha…it's been a few days…I mean, have you…” She groaned inwardly. `Just come out and ask her!' her mind cried.

 

Kagome was enveloped in her own nervous laughter, feeling a blush creep across her cheeks. `She might as well have just asked me if I've had sex with InuYasha yet,' she thought in sheer embarrassment. “It's not like we're ever really alone together,” she said through unnerved giggles.

 

“I can fix that for you if you want,” Sango told her, eagerness hitched in her voice. “I don't mind leaving for a while. Of course, you could always go to your time…”

 

The blush on Kagome's face continued to deepen as Sango rambled on. `It's not like I didn't know this would have to happen eventually… I guess I just never really thought about actually taking that step with InuYasha.' She brought her hands up to her face, massaging her temples. `No wonder he's so nervous.'

 

(00000000000000)

 

InuYasha growled in pure frustration. He was crossing his arms, trying to hold back the urge to pace around the cave in an attempt rid himself of this dissatisfaction. It was hard to stand this nervousness that seemed to be coursing through his body, causing him to shudder slightly. `Why can't I bring myself to face her?' he wondered. Though part of him knew it was true, he would never admit to himself that he didn't feel ready.

 

Yes, he wanted her, but his fear seemed to override that want. His decision to avoid her wasn't making it any better, either. He had no doubts that she was upset with him, but he couldn't just allow himself to explain what was going on. She'd surely think less of him. After all, he was the one who had agreed, and now he was running from his own choice.

 

There were moments, of course, when he had come close to letting go of his insecurities. InuYasha would suddenly feel his instincts taking over, drawing him toward her scent; but when he got anywhere close to her, he felt like he was doing something vile and wrong. He grunted at his own apprehension.

 

“What are you so worked up about?” Shippo asked, quirking his eyebrow at the hanyou. InuYasha had been standing in one spot for at least ten minutes with a determined expression, his body twitching every now and again. Shippo shook his head. InuYasha sure did look like such an idiot sometimes.

 

As if InuYasha knew what Shippo was thinking, he sent the young kitsune hurtling across the cave. “This is none of your damn business, Shippo!”

 

“Sit!”

 

InuYasha's eyes widened as his face met the ground. Kagome always took Shippo's side.

 

“Could you try being a little nicer to him, InuYasha? He's just a kid!” Kagome stepped into the cave, sending the hanyou a miffed glance.

 

Recovered from the subduing spell, InuYasha stood up, shooting a menacing glare at Kagome. “Maybe you could try being nicer to me, then!” he said in an aggravated tone, though he immediately regretted it.

 

Kagome stared at him, taken aback. He had never said anything like that to her before. It took all of her willpower to maintain her stern expression. “Well, I'd have time to be nice to you if you'd stop avoiding me!” she alleged, fighting to keep her voice from shaking.

 

Sango slapped her hand to her face as she entered the cave. She couldn't believe they were fighting already. Kagome hadn't even been there for a minute yet! `We're never going to get Miroku back at this rate,' she moaned inwardly. She stepped forward, quickly coming up with a plan. “Oh no! I forgot my…Hiraikotsu!” she shouted suddenly in a rather overdramatic tone. “Shippo, why don't you help me find it?”

 

Shippo looked at her curiously. “Sure, I guess.”

 

“Great!” She gestured Shippo forward, and gave InuYasha a quick look. “You should stay here and protect Kagome,” she told him. “We'll be back in few hours!” She hurried out of the cave, Shippo following closely behind.

 

Kagome watched them leave in confusion. `Hours? That can't be right. It won't take that long to find her Hiraiko-' She stopped herself as she recalled what Sango had said to her earlier.

 

I don't mind leaving for a while

 

`You've got to be kidding me! She doesn't really expect InuYasha and me to…' She glanced back at InuYasha, who had securely perched himself next to the stone in the back of the cave, his eyes fixed on the wall. She sighed. `I wish he would just talk to me instead of acting so reserved about it.'

 

An awkward silence quickly settled between the two, creating a severe tension. Inside, InuYasha was battling his emotions. He had the most relentless urge to leave, but he knew that he couldn't. In doing this, he would leave Kagome open to any kind of danger that might lurk past. He wouldn't let himself do that to her after everything he had already put her through.

 

“InuYasha?”

 

He hesitantly looked up to see Kagome standing in front of him, her face overcome with softness. Her expression was gentle with a certain easiness about it.

 

“Is there anything wrong?” she asked quietly. “I haven't really seen you that much lately. What's been going on?”

 

There was a sincerity in her voice that InuYasha couldn't resist. His gaze altered to the ground as he retained his silence. He wanted her to know, but still, he couldn't bring himself to tell her of his fears and resistance. “It doesn't matter,” he replied at last.

 

“It does,” Kagome insisted. “Something's obviously bothering you, and I hate seeing you like this. You can tell me, you know.” She sat down next to him, tilting her head in his direction, watching the expression on his face carefully.

 

He jerked his head away from her eyes. “Just drop it, ok?”

 

She observed him charily. “What are you so afraid of?” Her voice was not harsh at all, but gentle; she knew that the last thing he needed was to be yelled at.

 

“It doesn't concern you,” InuYasha said simply in a disdainful tone.

 

“Of course it does!” Kagome fought hard to keep herself from screaming. “InuYasha, what ever it is that's been bothering you, it's caused you to avoid me. I just want to know what it is, so I can help you.”

 

“I don't need any help!”

 

Kagome groaned. This was going nowhere. InuYasha was never the type to share his feelings, or express them in any way. It didn't matter how much she needed or wanted him to. “Alright, if you're sure,” she said, moving to stand up.

 

“It's just…I don't…I'm not…” InuYasha searched for the words, but they never came. He grumbled, turning to face the wall again.

 

“You're not going to change your mind again, are you?” Kagome questioned almost fearfully. “We already told Sango, and I don't want to disappoint-”

 

“I'm not!” He huffed in annoyance with his own loss for words. “Look, if we're gonna do this, then we might as well get it over with.”

 

Kagome bit back a sharp gasp. He wasn't serious was he? She sighed. As much as she hated the idea of her first time being in a damp cave, she knew that if InuYasha felt ready now, then she should take the chance while she could. “Ok.”

 

Time passed slowly, too slowly for either of their liking. Kagome sat next to InuYasha, patiently waiting for something to happen, while he did the same. Clearly, neither of them had thought this all the way through.

 

“You can touch me, you know,” Kagome told him edgily.

 

“Feh! I know!” He kept his head turned away from her prying eyes in order to hide the blush that had made its home on his face.

 

`Well, if he's not going to make the first move, then…' She gulped nervously. `I guess I will.'

 

A/N: I don't have anything much to say. I just hope you liked to chapter. Review if you can.