InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Our Decision ❯ Blue (Part 3) ( Chapter 8 )

A/N: Well, that took long enough. I am very sorry everyone. I didn't know it would take this long.

 

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns everything, and I own squat.

 

Chapter 8: Blue (Part 3)

 

InuYasha let out a blissful sigh, despite his current state of pure confusion, as the early morning sun rained across his face. Was it right? Should it have happened? He took a lingering glance at the girl beside him, who seemed perfectly at ease, her head resting gently against his chest. A smile played off his lips as he inhaled her sweet scent. Yes, he thoroughly enjoyed waking up like this. Then again, him waking up wasn't the problem; it was Kagome. What would he say to her? More to the point, what would she say to him? Would she be happy? Would she regret it? He shook his head. It was too early for such pressing questions.

 

His eyes drifted shut as he was swept over with the idyllic memories of the night before. Physically, it was amazing; every touch and sensation moved him in a way he couldn't describe. It was unfathomable, the way her body reacted to his. So why was it that he didn't think he could bring himself that close to her again? He shifted uncomfortably at the thought. He was restless, and wanted nothing more than for everything to be the same again. He wanted to go back to slaying demons, to searching for jewel shards, to hunting down Naraku. He didn't need a relationship to get in the way of all of that, much less a baby.

 

`No, I made my decision,' his mind pried insistently. `I'm not gonna change it again.' He felt his body give a slight lurch as Kagome stirred. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he found himself praying that she wouldn't wake up. He wasn't ready to face her, not yet. A breath of relief escaped him as she rolled off of him, curling further into the warmth of the bed. InuYasha sat up slowly, taking one last look at Kagome before moving to the end of the bed and stepping off of it. “Where are my clothes?” he mused aloud, yawning.

 

“They're right in front of you.”

 

InuYasha immediately felt a blush spread across his face as he turned, locking gazes with Kagome. “You're awake,” he stated bluntly, quickly retrieving his clothes.

 

Kagome sat up, being sure to keep her comforter securely wrapped around her torso. She watched in amusement as InuYasha practically threw on his hakama. “So,” she began.

 

InuYasha glared. “So what?” His words was unusually harsh, and raw this morning. He pulled on the layers of his haori, straightening them quickly, and began moving towards her window.

 

“InuYasha, wait! I need to talk to you!” Kagome cried out in desperation. She fixed her eyes on his face, pulling the sheets even tighter around her body. “It's really important. It's about last night.” Her gaze lowered as InuYasha strode closer to her.

 

“Was there something wrong?” he asked, contempt seeping from his voice.

 

“No, it's nothing like that,” Kagome said hastily. “There's just something you should know. It's me…I…” Her voice hitched in her throat. “I can't.”

 

InuYasha raised an eyebrow. “What are you talkin' about?” He crossed his arms, lightly drumming his claws across his elbow. A growl rolled off his lips when she didn't respond. “Feh! I'm leavin' if you're not gonna say anything!” He pivoted in the direction of her window.

 

“I listened to you when you were having a problem!” she protested. “Why can't you do the same for me?”

 

“There's a difference between listening and forcing someone to talk to you, Kagome! You're making it seem like something it's not! I didn't want to talk to you about it!”

 

“Well, it helped, didn't it?” Kagome's hands clenched further around her covers. She suddenly felt a strange sensation, like her heart was slowly melting, creating a searing pain that was irreversible. “I'm sorry,” she said softly.

 

InuYasha snorted. “What the hell are you apologizin' for?” He took a step toward her, fighting the desire to hold her and the urge to run away. His inner turmoil was at its peak, its relentless edge. He forced himself not to think of it. “You should get dressed,” he suggested quickly.

 

“Bu-” Kagome bit her lip. She definitely was not ready to tell him now. `He needs to know,' her mind insisted. `You can't just push the problem aside. He doesn't deserve that.' She sighed. Yes, he was worthy of much better, especially after everything she had done to him. Still, none of it compared to the stupid decision she'd made last night.

 

(0000000000000000000)

 

In one word, breakfast was awkward. Kagome could feel her insides squirming as she timidly glanced at her mother. She couldn't help but wonder if her mother somehow knew about what had happened the night before. She shuddered at the thought, provoking the already inflated uneasiness at the table. InuYasha, however, did not seem to be effected at all as he sat there, eating his omelet quite contently.

 

Mrs. Higurashi spoke suddenly. “Kagome, have you talked to him yet?” she asked, nodding at InuYasha.

 

Kagome took a quick glance at him, almost feeling guilty about his confused expression. “I will.”

 

InuYasha stopped eating, turning to completely face Kagome, his eyes narrowing. There was no doubt in his mind that she had not been planning to reveal any of this to him anytime soon. “Tell me about what?”

 

“We'll talk about it later,” Kagome replied coolly, standing up to leave.

 

He grabbed her arm, and pulled her backwards. “No, we'll talk about it now!” He caught her in a callous glare, as if he were trying to pry her mind open.

 

“Both of you sit down,” Mrs. Higurashi said calmly, folding her hands and placing them on the table. “We'll discuss this together.”

 

Kagome cringed at the word. `Together? As in, she's going to be here when I tell InuYasha? No…' She laughed nervously, sheltering her red face behind her hands. `InuYasha will be sure to mention the fact that I slept with him, even though I knew about the problem. I can't let him say that in front of my mom.' She peeked in between her fingers, watching her mother give InuYasha a stern look.

 

“InuYasha, there's something you should know about Kagome,” she said. Her face softened as she continued to stare at him. “I know you two have already come to your decision, but after all that's happened…I don't think…” She cleared her throat, biting her lip to regain composure. “I don't think it would be possible.”

 

InuYasha squinted his eyes and crinkled his brows, as if the intensity of his expression would somehow alleviate his perplexity. His mouth went dry, his confusion overtaking him. “What?” he asked finally.

 

“When Kagome told me what you had decided, I wanted to see that she was ready,” Mrs. Higurashi continued, her tone lowering. “I took her to the fertility clinic.” She glanced at her daughter knowingly. “She can't.”

 

InuYasha shook his head incredulously. “You mean she can't have children?” He couldn't understand it. `Kagome knew? She knew and she still…'

 

“I have Endometriosis!” Kagome cried out, her voice engulfed with distress. “It doesn't mean I can't have children, it just means that it would be difficult for us to conceive.” Her head sunk down in her own shame. Guilt was showering over her like rain often did when it blanketed the earth.

 

After a long silence, InuYasha turned to her questioningly. “Can it be fixed?”

 

Kagome nearly grimaced at his tone when he spoke. It was icy, and cut through the air like a knife. Yes, he was angry, though she couldn't exactly blame him. Still, seeing his heated expression struck her in the most unimaginable way.

 

“It can,” her mother explained, eyeing the hanyou sympathetically. “Unfortunately, that would take two years of therapy, and that still wouldn't guarantee conception.” She tightened her grip around her own hand. “I'm sorry.”

 

InuYasha said nothing. How was he supposed to react to this? He felt a strong dizziness begin to wash over him as his mind grasped the information. His body began shuddering with anger and betrayal. He hadn't wanted to change his relationship with Kagome in the first place, but forced himself into such distinct pleasures because of Miroku. But for what? Nothing. The word rang over and over in his head like a chiming bell. “Kagome, I need to talk to you,” he struggled out. He stood up, clasping his hand around hers, leading her up to her room.

 

Kagome looked at her mother pleadingly as she was forced out of the kitchen. `At least he's going to yell at me while we're alone,' she thought thankfully, though she was intimidated by the very idea. Still, it was better this way. She gasped as she was suddenly pushed violently into her room. Her eyes narrowed at InuYasha in a harsh glare. “Hey!”

 

He slammed her door shut, and matched her glower with a look that was far more menacing. “So, how long have you known?” he demanded, his voice poisonous and soft. He watched her hang her head, and turn away from him. “Well?”

 

Kagome couldn't stand it. The sheer sharpness of his tone caused a shivering sensation to coil around her spine. “A few days,” she answered as her body began to quiver slightly, trepidation flowing within her veins.

 

“And you didn't bother to tell me?” He was more insistent this time, his words forcing themselves through his gritted teeth. “You thought it would be ok to just let us sleep together when we had no reason to?”

 

“No!” She felt tears beginning to form, not because he was angry with her, but because she was lying.

 

InuYasha growled, his frustration about to boil over. “Well, then why the hell did you do it?”

 

It was then that Kagome stopped listening to him. Everything he said from then on was just a wisp of thin air to her ears. Why had she done it? Was it because of her secret longing to be close to him, her hidden desire for his touch? Did she still believe in the small chance of a baby? Each question surrounded her as the sky did the clouds.

 

Why?

 

(000000000000000000)

 

Four weeks, four long hard weeks. They were interminable, and Kagome knew that things wouldn't get better. InuYasha had barely spoken to her since that fateful morning when their relationship had taken a turn for the worse. They had finally gone back to searching for jewel shards, but they had had no luck in recovering any. There was a strange indolence among them, unceasing in its addictive nothingness. The distance she and InuYasha had put between each other was a fair contributor to this feeling. Sango had tried to keep everyone motivated, and had tried to induce some kind of relief to the awkwardness of it all, but had no success.

 

Kagome sighed softly as she stared around the aisles of the grocery store. She'd finally decided to escape from the unwelcoming presence of the feudal era for a few days with little hassle on InuYasha's part. He didn't really seem to care what she did anymore. `I had that one coming,' she thought sadly. Her eyes dropped to the tiled flooring as she continued to walk through the supermarket. `Let's see, Mom said she needed more shampoo.' She stalked languidly to the hygiene section of the store, pausing as she passed by the pregnancy tests.

 

There was something crying out to her, relentlessly beckoning her toward them. `There's no point,' she reminded herself. `There's no way I'm pregnant. Besides, I haven't even been showing any symptoms.' Against her better judgment, she grabbed one quickly and tossed it into her cart. `I guess it can't hurt to check.'

 

(0000000000000000000)

 

Getting back from the store, Kagome felt her stomach churning. Nervousness was slowly overtaking her, causing her hands to shake as she put away the groceries. She glanced down at her hand, watching her fingers curl around the pregnancy test. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at it. Every part of her wanted to take it now, hoping for some kind of miracle, something amazing. Still, her mind pried that there was no such thing. In any case, her legs prodded on, leading her to the bathroom.

 

“Ok, breathe,” she whispered to herself as she paced the length of the bathroom, trying to somehow calm her wild anxiety. She took a glimpse at the ticking clock on the sink counter; time was meandering by. The minutes seemed to be passing tediously by as they did when a child was waiting for the school bell to ring. Kagome looked at the back of the box the test came in. `Blue is positive and pink is negative.' Her thoughts were abruptly cut off as a surly knock rattled against the door.

 

“Kagome?”

 

She gasped. That was InuYasha's voice. Did he actually come to get her, even after he had been so content with her departure? To her own astonishment, she turned the lock on the door, and opened it. “What are you doing here?” she asked quietly, smiling weakly at him.

 

“I…” InuYasha trailed off. He couldn't admit that he had a veiled yearning to see her, to gaze upon her face. He shook his head. “What are you doing in here anyway?”

 

She hesitated for a moment. “I'm just…taking a pregnancy test.” She bit her lip, waiting for his reaction.

 

It was one simple word. “Why?”

 

“I don't know,” Kagome admitted solemnly. “It's stupid, isn't it? There's no chance of me being pregnant, so I don't know why I bother! I guess just part of me wants…blue.” She massaged her temples, trying to relieve her increasing distress.

 

InuYasha quirked his eyebrow at her, an almost amused expression on his face. “Blue?”

 

She pointed to the test. “If that end of it turns blue, then it means I'm pregnant,” she explained. “But we both know it's impossible.”

 

InuYasha listened to her carry on in an almost drone-like state. He sighed, glancing at the test on the counter. “Kagome…”

 

“I can't even help Miroku! Sango must hate me now!” she continued, tears now streaming down her face, staining her cheeks. “I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it, though!”

 

“Kagome!”

 

She threw her hands up in exasperation, nearly collapsing under her trembling legs. “What?”

 

“It's blue.”

 

A/N: All right, that's it for that chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it, even though it took so long. You see, I'm working on another fanfic called “Addiction”. It's very…unique. I think you'll like it, so give it a read sometime. Anyway, please review.