InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Our Decision ❯ Silent Reveries ( Chapter 13 )

A/N: Sorry this took so long! You have no idea what drama the past few weeks have been. I've been packing, moving, unpacking, listening to my mother and my ex-stepfather fight about pointless things because of the divorce, and trying to get Internet service. It has been a nightmare! And after all of that, my keyboard stopped working! We had to buy a new one! Go figure. Anyway, I want to thank you all for your support and reviews. I love you guys! Hehe. Now let's see what I have in store for you this time.

 

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns all of these wonderful characters and their relationships that I have so much fun destroying.

 

Chapter 13: Silent reveries

 

Kagome watched InuYasha intently, her stormy eyes locked with his deep, amber orbs as she was caught amongst the billowing emotions they held. As he stared at her, his arms folded in their usual position, and his legs crossed, she could feel something radiating off of him. It was a bright glow of the purest sensation of sentiment—one that she had never had the blissfulness of seeing. A low and prolonged sigh fluttered off her lips as her heart lurched with anticipation, her fingers practically penetrating the fabric of the pink comforter on her bed. Why wasn't he saying anything? With a quick intake of breath, she quickly jerked her gaze away from him, feeling the overwhelming sense of his vacillation begin to take hold of her.

 

“Kagome,” he said finally, his voice seeming to adjourn his trepidation as her name slid gingerly off his lips. He let his eyes drift shut for a moment before fixating them on her distant and anxious features. “I have to know,” he continued, his teeth now slightly gritted as if he were forcing out each syllable. He dug his claws vigorously into his arms, trying the put an end to their unceasing quivering as his nerves began to take control over his body. He shook his head quickly. “I've been thinkin' a lot about some things, and I just…” He hesitated for moment, breathing deeply as he began to relax his muscles. “Do you really want me to stay with you?”

 

Kagome turned back toward him, her face slightly flushed and red as she eyed him with her brows furrowed, accenting her confusion. What would make him think otherwise? She pushed the thought aside, scooting herself closer to him, watching in amusement as his dog-ears swiveled mercilessly atop his head. “Of course I do,” she told him, her voice coming out in a soft, lulling melody that rung clearly in his head.

 

“How can you say that?” he asked softly, his tone strangely calm and sincere as he spoke. He lowered his arms, letting them rest on his bent knees as his gaze fell to focus on the floor. “I can't really explain it, but I just don't think you should forgive me.” He glanced up at her. “I don't deserve it.”

 

Her lips curled into a small smile as she watched his earnest expression, a sensation of joy bubbling in the pit of her stomach. For the first time in a long time, he was finally letting her listen to his thoughts—letting himself just be honest. She cleared the swelling lump in her throat, her heart pounding softly in her rapture. “You do,” she croaked out, her voice hitched with a luscious candor. She shook her head at his objective face, sighing. “You and I have both hurt each other in different ways. We've both been dishonest…” She paused, her mind beginning to cry out her own betrayal. Even now, she was still keeping things from him. She snapped away from her thoughts, throwing a quick glance at InuYasha. “You're not any more guilty than I am.”

 

He narrowed his eyes, shifting uncomfortably. There was a reserved and sheltered look on her face that made his insides squirm with uneasiness. What was she talking about? Surely she didn't think that everything he had done to her had essentially been because of her mistakes. Why couldn't she just stop blaming herself? InuYasha grunted in annoyance, rising slowly to his feet, and turning to stand directly in front of her. He knelt down, grasping her chin, running his thumb softly across the brim of it in soft caresses. “Damn it, woman,” he hissed, his voice the lacking the traditional severity it would have normally held. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

 

“I…” She trailed off, fixating her gaze on his hand, watching it carefully as it moved to her cheek. She could feel a delicious heat burning in her face, and begin to pool in her stomach as his beguiling lips neared hers. She let out a sharp gasp, feeling his heated breath against her skin. “I keep hiding things from you,” she whispered frantically, pulling her head back, ignoring his bewildered expression as she used her hands to move herself further away from his reach. “I still am.”

 

He searched her eyes carefully, shaking his head. She was still lying to him? He stood up, taking a few steps away from her, his face looking to be in an utter daze. “Oh,” he said meekly, crossing his arms as he jerked his body in the opposite direction, now feeling her prying eyes on his back. “So what aren't you telling me?”

 

Kagome shivered. His voice was deep and quiet, but each word sounded strained, and seemed to be seeping out hurt and anger. “It's about the appointment,” she breathed, her heart clenching as guilt began to cover her in a thick blanket of the regret that came with it. She swallowed hard. “It wasn't… It didn't go well.” Her teeth sank into her lip as she held back a distressed cry. “Our baby…won't make it,” she said, her words nearly inaudible as her breathing became ragged and labored. “She won't make it.”

 

In that instant, InuYasha felt something inside of him shatter. His body quaked as his hands fell to his sides, his fists balled tightly. A strange feeling began to overcome him. He wanted her to be lying again—he wanted this entire conversation to be some taunting nightmare. “She?” he asked, craning his neck, casting his eyes downward as he fought to keep his voice steady.

 

Kagome stared at the back of his head, silently wishing she could see his face—that she could be comforted by those golden irises she often found herself lost in. Standing up, she forced a weak smile as her hand moved to rest on her slightly swollen stomach. “We're supposed to be having a girl,” she said, a feeble whimper escaping her. “But the doctor said that we're…we're going to lose her.” She cleared her throat, bringing a hand up to stop a falling tear as she choked on a stifled sob. “I have to go back in five days for a final check-up.”

 

InuYasha felt his heart skip a beat as his breathing came to an abrupt halt. A million questions were swimming around in his head, completely trapping his mind. Lose? Final? There had to be some kind of mistake, right? His body still shook, submissive to the grief that had made its home inside of him. This wasn't how he was supposed to feel. Somehow everything he thought had taken an abrupt transformation. It was no longer about losing Miroku's only savior—it was about losing a daughter.

 

“I'm sorry I lied,” Kagome said suddenly, continuing her motions across her stomach. “I guess I just didn't want to think about it anymore. I wanted to…to wake up.” She shook her head slowly. “I know it sounds-”

 

“Stupid?” he finished, still keeping his face out of her vision as he turned slightly toward her. “You may say a lot of stupid things…but that wasn't one of them.” With a deep sigh, he moved to completely face her, his eyes locking with hers.

 

She wanted to say something to him—to let him know exactly how grateful she felt to him, but she couldn't find the words. For right now, him being near her was only thing she needed.

 

(000000000000000000000)

 

Five days passed by quickly, and InuYasha had barely spoken at all. Kagome sat in the waiting room, her head resting in her hands, and her elbows propped on her knees. At that moment, she didn't think she could feel any more helpless. Her daughter was suffering and losing life inside of her, and all she could do was sit and wait. She let out a woeful sigh, her heart sinking. She needed so much for InuYasha to be with her right now, but he had quietly opted not to come. Her mother had been insistent on being there, but Kagome found herself wanting to be with no one else but InuYasha for this. With his presence, she could be assured of comfort and relief.

 

“I can't do this,” she whispered to herself in a small cry, gently massaging her temples with the tips of her fingers. “I don't want this to be real.” As her heart began to feel heavy and stony, she gave in to the tears she had been waning since she had gotten there.

 

“Kagome?”

 

She looked up with her glossy and tearstained face, her vision blurred by the remnants of her crying. A boy was standing in front of her, his silky, brown hair seeming to perfectly frame his face as he looked at her with his concerned expression. “Hojo…” she started, reaching up to wipe off her hazy eyes. “What are you doing here?”

 

He smiled as he moved to sit down in a seat next to her on her right side. “My aunt is having another baby,” he stated simply, his face turning serious. “Are you all right?” He nodded at a stray tear rolling down her cheek. “You're crying.”

 

Kagome stared at him, not knowing what else to do. The only thing her mind was grasping was that he was there—he was there when she need someone to be. She felt the warmth and comfort that she needed radiating off of him, and drawing her in, bringing her closer to him. Her arms snaked their way around his torso as she tried to get closer to his alluring warmth, resting her head gently on his shoulder. She suddenly seemed as though she were in a hypnotic state as she felt him pull her further into the embrace, her eyes fluttering shut. Her head was spinning in an endless tilt-a-whirl, suddenly coming to an abrupt stop as the heat was violently ripped away from her.

 

“What the hell do you think you're doing?”

 

Hearing the raucous voice above her nearly made Kagome's heart stop. A sudden tingling quickly infused her body as she found her back pressed firmly against her chair. Her eyelids were clenched, and her breathing was harsh and forced. She could feel a hand gripping her shoulder with exceeded force and vigor as it held her body in its position. Slowly, she let her eyes drift open to meet the stony face in front of her. “InuYasha,” she murmured, penitence suddenly washing over her. He was watching her with his violet eyes fixedly, his angry expression blanketing the hurt she knew he must have felt. Her gaze wandered to the looming window behind her, the cold darkness of the moonless night swiftly striking her vision. She glanced back at InuYasha, taking in the sight of his ebony locks falling across his glowering features.

 

“Kagome…” His voice wasn't callous, but soft and quivering, her name sounding almost poisonous as it left his lips.

 

She shook her head, not wanting to hear the pain emanating from him as he spoke. Observing him carefully, she could see a vague, white figure behind him. She blinked—it was a woman.

 

“Higurashi!” the woman called.

 

Kagome sighed at the sound of her name being spoken, relief quickly spreading throughout her body. “I have to go,” she said softly, placing her hand over InuYasha's and moving it off her shoulder. She watched him take a few steps away from her as she stood up, staring at him pleadingly. She took a fleeting glance at Hojo as he sat sprawled across the floor, his face emitting utter bafflement. Nodding him a silent goodbye, she ambled toward the waiting nurse.

 

“I'm coming with you,” she heard InuYasha say behind her. His voice spoke words of demand and control—he was going.

 

(00000000000000000000)

 

Kagome sat against the reclined, navy chair in the middle of the hospital room, her hands at her sides as she drummed the edge of the seat. All of her anxieties were now at their relentless peak as her impatience began to grow. The doctor had already been in there twice, doing two routine ultrasounds, and was now on her way to grab another doctor to look at the results to confirm her “suspicions”. Kagome groaned in agony, leaning back fully against the chair, her gaze aimed at the ceiling as she attempted to calm her rampaging nerves. The feeling of being completely in the dark was maddening, and simply refused to dismiss itself from her heart. Letting another deep breath escape her, she glanced to her right side, watching InuYasha's distant face. He was standing beside her with his arms folded, and his head tilted opposite of her direction. He had been that way throughout the entire appointment, only adding to the already busting tension that had immersed itself within the atmosphere.

 

She leaned up, getting a better look at his face. “Do you think we can talk about it?” she asked timidly, fighting to keep her words solid. “I know you're mad.”

 

“You were hugging some other guy,” he said bluntly, his eyes slowly meeting hers as he turned his body to face her. “Why?” His expression was icy, filling her with a sense of coldness she didn't even think existed.

 

“I…” Her voice faded for a moment, her gaze lowering as she evaded his prying eyes, her fingers now digging into the smooth material of the seat. “He was there.”

 

InuYasha snorted disdainfully, shaking his head as the ruthless expression on his face began to ascend to new levels. He took a step closer to her with tedious sluggishness, letting his foot linger above the cold, tile floor before placing it down again. “That isn't a damn reason, Kagome,” he jeered through gritted teeth. “You had no right to-”

 

“What?” Kagome was staring directly at him in utter incredulousness. She folded her arms across her lap, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of the paper gown against her skin as she leaned up even further. “I have the right to do anything I want,” she pressed. “I don't even think we're in a relationship at all, so what I do shouldn't even matter to you!” She shook her head, her voice lowering. “The only reason I hugged him was because I needed someone. When I told my mother I didn't want her to come, I thought I could handle it on my own. I couldn't, InuYasha!” She whimpered slightly, gently moving a hand to rub her stomach lovingly. “After I got here, I realized that I needed you with me.”

 

He turned his head defiantly, his eyes softening faintly. “Feh! I came, didn't I?”

 

A slight smile emerged on her features as she leaned back against the chair. “Yes, you did.” She drew in a small breath, shaking her head. “But you should've been here from the beginning.”

 

“And you shouldn't have been hanging all over that guy!” InuYasha retorted, raising his fist slightly as his rage began building at the mere thought of that man's arms around her, and that goofy smile on his face.

 

Kagome groaned in aggravation, sweeping her hands across her face to brush away a few stray hairs before looking back at him, a glare fixed in her eyes. “Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you, but you can't tell me what I should or shouldn't do! You're the one who didn't want to be involved any more than we already were!”

 

“Damn it, you should know by now that I don't mean half the shit I say!”

 

Kagome opened her mouth to speak just as the door to the room flew open, nearly slamming against the thin, white walls. Two women proceeded inside. The first had sleek, black hair cut at her shoulders, and Kagome immediately recognized her as her doctor. Her face was stern, and her lips pursed as she motioned the other woman forward, brushing at her white medical jacket. The other woman looked to be in a daze, her dark hair pulled back and frazzled, and her eyes worn and tired.

 

“Look at this,” her doctor said, pointing at the ultrasound screen that stood in front of Kagome, tracing her finger over part of the distorted shapes. “Doesn't that look like…”

 

The other woman peered closer, her eyes narrowing as she also moved her hand to lightly brush it across the screen, nodding. “It does.”

 

Her doctor combed her fingers through her hair, turning around to face Kagome, her expression seeming unreadable as she let out a long, drawn-out breath. “Kagome, I have some news for you,” she said.

 

A/N: Hehe. I will stop it here! You gotta love the cliffhangers! Now something else is going on with the baby, and InuYasha suddenly seems like he wants to start an actual relationship! Oh, the drama! I love it! You know, when I was writing that scene that was describing InuYasha's human form, I was fighting the urge to make Kagome bluntly say why he was human. You know how they always do that over and over in the anime. It'll be something like…

 

Kagome: -thinking- The sun's going down. It'll be the new moon, and InuYasha will lose all his demonic powers and be rendered a mere mortal.

Shippo: Isn't tonight the new moon? That means that InuYasha will lose all his demonic powers and be rendered a mere mortal.

Miroku: That's right. On the night of the new moon InuYasha loses all his demonic powers and is rendered a mere mortal.

-some random enemy attacks that night, and InuYasha recklessly goes after it-

Sango: Wait! It's the night of the new moon, and you have lost all your demonic powers and have been rendered a mere mortal!

 

Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but still… Anyway, reviews are adored! Don't be shy to leave your comments! Thank you!