InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Our Decision ❯ Breaking down ( Chapter 14 )

A/N: Hey everyone! You have no idea how sorry I am for how long this took. I lost inspiration for a little while, and then I decided to write a one shot. Feel free to check that out, if you haven't already. I've also started school again, so I've got that obligation. Not only that, but I've got two other stories that I have to work on. Still, Im very inspired right now, and Im ready to get started on this one, so let's see where it goes.

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns all of these wonderful characters. I own the wonderful situations I put them in. And, if I did own the characters, I'm sure they would be throwing tomatoes at me.

Chapter 14: Breaking Down

Kagome felt her breath catch in her throat, stabbing at her with immense severity. Her stormy eyes seemed to shudder as they caught the black screen in their fearful gaze. She bit her lip as a deep and penetrating numbness quickly coursed throughout her body, forcing an icy atmosphere to envelop her as she became uncomfortably aware of the fact that she was only wearing a paper gown. She wanted to scream—to force out her rising frustration that seemed to be dangerously close to its peak. What else could possibly be wrong? She inhaled sharply as she felt something lightly touch her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her eyes trailed to her side, landing on a hand that was slowly caressing her shoulder blade. She gazed upward, staring blankly at InuYasha. His expression was frozen, his eyes distant, and his lips perfectly straight. He wasn't looking at her, but at the screen in front of them, his upper half quaking slightly. Was he afraid?

"Kagome?"

She quickly turned her attention back to the woman in front of her, who was shuffling her hands in the large pockets of her white medical coat. Kagome let her breath filter out slowly as she stared at the doctor, a vacant look set firmly on her face, her mind at a complete loss of thought.

"Try to relax," the doctor said, nodding at Kagome's tensed arms, her lips slightly pursed. "There are a few things you need to know." She stepped to the left side of the screen, gesturing away the nurse beside her with a harsh wave. "Your uterus has finally repositioned itself into its normal state," she continued, her voice sounding unsteady, as if it were preparing for something it was about to utter. The woman took in a long, drawn-out breath before clearing her throat and focusing her attention on Kagome's anxious face. "But...while we were listening to the baby's heartbeat, we heard something..."

At that moment an intense darkness came flooding into Kagome's heart, weighing it down with immense force. Something—the word reverberated around her head, softly whispering itself to her with its haunting voice. She swallowed the growing lump in her throat and nodded slowly. "What's..what's wrong?" she asked almost inaudibly.

"There was a murmur there. Normally, we wouldn't think anything of it because the baby's heart is still developing...but..." Her eyes turned serious and stony as she moved a hand and ran it through the locks of her straight, dark hair. "There seems to be a lot of space between the tissue behind the baby's neck, and your blood tests were fairly abnormal."

Kagome shook her head, her arms at her sides, and her fingers grinding forcefully in the leathery material of her chair, as if to somehow expel her uneasiness through that action. "I don't understand," she said through gritted teeth. "What does all of this mean?"

The woman sighed lowly as her face began to exhibit the slight wrinkles from countless hours at the hospital and the multitude of worry over her patients. "Though it seems so unlikely because of your age..." Her voice faded off, her eyes seeming to be forcing themselves on Kagome's. She stepped forward slowly, keeping her hands deftly hidden within her coat pockets. "We think your baby may have a birth defect called Down syndrome." She nodded at Kagome's perplexed expression, inhaling deeply. "It's a condition in which extra genetic material causes delays in the development of a child. It can affect the baby's physical appearance and abilities, as well as her mental health. It isn't a guarantee that she has it, but we would like to do a procedure to see if our suspicions can be confirmed or not. However, the procedure does carry a very small risk of miscarriage."

Kagome stared, letting her mouth linger open for a moment. Words were floating around in her head, but she couldn't seem to be able to reach out and grasp them. How could this be happening? Had she done something wrong to cause this? Had she not taken care of herself the way she should've been? She jerked herself from her thoughts, her eyes gazing back toward the doctor with a weary look about them. "Do I have to decide now?" she asked slowly and meekly, shifting in her chair, her hands folded tightly in her lap.

The doctor gave her a reassuring smile. "No, but I'll need an answer by next week. The longer you wait, the more dangerous the procedure will become." She moved to the left side of Kagome, reaching toward the white table beside her chair, and grasping a clipboard that rested atop it with a sigh. "I'll give you two a moment," she said, nodding, and moving to the door slowly. She pressed her back up against it, giving them a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry."

Kagome watched her leave in silence. She let her breaths come out in soft gasps that stuttered slightly as she watched her thumbs move in circles around one another. Her arms were shaking in time with her beating heart, her eyes wondering to InuYasha. The same expression as before was still plastered on his face—passiveness and a distance that she didn't think she could get to. She reached for him, placing her hand over his with a forced smile. "We can talk when we get back to my house," she told him.

(000000000000000000000)

The walk home had been deathly quiet. Even the sounds of the usual hustle and bustle of the city had been stifled by the indecisiveness that had settled itself comfortably between the two of them. Kagome took a fleeting glance at InuYasha. He was sitting cross-legged on her bed, his arms folded, and his hands sheltered in the sleeves of his haori as he gazed out her bedroom window, his eyes dancing with the stars. She was standing in front of him, her face somewhat bewildered. She couldn't seem to understand his silence and evasion. Did he want her to make this decision by herself? Kagome leaned forward slightly, crossing her arms loosely as she continued to keep him in her weary gaze.

"I don't know what we should do," she murmured quietly, lowering her eyes. She shook her hand, a fearful look overcoming her that was obvious, even through the room's obscurity that mirrored the moonless night. "I can't even begin to think about this. I never thought I'd end up having a child with disabilities, and now..." She turned around, bringing her hands to the sides of her face, letting tears touch the tips of her fingers as she let out a muffled cry.

"Disabilities," InuYasha echoed softly, his voice low and gruff with lassitude. He looked up from his daze, the starlight softly accenting his human form as his eyes met the back of her head, an eerie silence quickly overtaking him. At that moment, everything just seemed wrong. The baby wouldn't move right. She wouldn't look right, and she wouldn't think right. But did that really mean that everything she'd do would be wrong? He moved his arms away from each other, his calloused hands resting gently on the soft surface of the bed. "I don't...think we should," he said finally.

Kagome's eyes widened as she turned to face him, letting her arms fall slowly to her sides. Her brows were furrowed as she lightly shook her head. "You don't think we should go through with the procedure?" Her eyes churned with dubiousness as he nodded. "You want to wait until she's born to know for sure? You want to spend the rest of this time wondering?"

"I don't want to go through with it," InuYasha said a bit more forcefully, rising to his feet.

Thoughts began swimming through Kagome's mind. Though she had been somewhat reluctant herself, the idea of spending numerous days in constant worry and anguish did not sit well with her. She wanted to be prepared for what was going to come, and not have to endure the shock of having everything forced on her at once.

She observed InuYasha carefully, her eyes narrowing slightly. "What's wrong with doing the procedure?" she asked, her voice raw and strained. "It would make it easier for us, if we knew..."

"I don't want to take a chance, Kagome!" His expression was hard, and almost seemed cold combined with the looming darkness that covered with room with its haunting presence. Still, his piercing, violet eyes shone clearly, offering a different emotion—fear.

'The miscarriage,' Kagome realized. 'He doesn't want to risk losing the baby.' She sighed in frustration, her shoulders sinking down as if the weight of her own confusion had just been dropped on them.

"We'll have to wait," InuYasha continued, slightly turning his head to avoid her eyes.

"What?" Kagome stepped closer to him, her face emanating sheer doubt and disbelief. "I don't understand," she said. "When...when did this actually become important to you? I know you're not heartless InuYasha, but I also know that the baby didn't matter that much to you before." Her hands were balled into fists at her sides as she lowered her voice. "Look, the risk is very small. I want to know if the baby has this or not, so I can do something to help. I don't want to be left in the dark!"

InuYasha's gaze turned fierce as she finished, his teeth slightly gritted. "There's still a chance, and I'm not going to ignore that just because you want to know early!" His words were soft, but so crisp and severe like poison. "You just don't care tha-"

"Stop!" Kagome's voice shook, mimicking her shivering body as a brisk breeze blew in from the open window, the pink curtains billowing with it. She took a slow step toward InuYasha, chills crawling further around her body, her expression unreadable. "You cant say that," she told him, each word sounding forced. "You were the one who distanced yourself from me because you were upset about your decision to do this. You were the one who left just because you didn't want to hear about the baby. Don't tell me that I don't care or accuse me of being a bad parent when you're the one who should be hearing that!"

A deep growl vibrated in the back of InuYasha's throat. "Wha-"

"You've been a terrible father this entire time! I know it, Sango knows it, my mother knows it, and even Shippo knows it! And now you're telling me that I don't care when I'm just trying to find this out so I can help our baby!"

InuYasha huffed, throwing his arms out, and clenching his fists, his claws penetrating the flesh of his hands. "The hell you are, Kagome!" he sneered. "You just don't want to have to think about this for the next few months! This has nothing to do with the damn baby, it's just about you!"

"Get out," Kagome said darkly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to look at you right now."

InuYasha could feel his blood beginning to boil, climbing to a point where the heat began to control his movements. His mind was clouded. He couldn't think. “No,” he hissed through his teeth, letting the word draw itself out. “I'm not leaving.” He moved forward swiftly, his feet pounding against the floor, imitating a beating heart. His hands reached for her shoulders, gripping them tightly as he pulled her face close to his. “I want you to take it back,” he said.

Kagome squirmed underneath his hold, shaking her head as tears stained her face, her eyes clenched shut. “Let me go!” she cried fitfully, freely letting sobs emerge from the depths of her throat. “Please…”

“No, damn it! I'm not until you take back what you said!”

Her eyes shot open, red with the strain of tears, her pupils looking dilated and apprehensive. She searched his face for a moment before letting out a small whimper. “I can't,” she whispered. “I'm not going to take back what's true. And…I think you needed to hear it, InuYasha.”

He said nothing, his lips slightly parted as he watched her, his body quivering in anger. Pushing her away from him, he left.

(0000000000000000000)

InuYasha sat outside Kagome's door, her subdued cries ringing freely in his ears, quickly making their way down to his heart. He cursed at himself in harsh mutters, letting his head fall against the door as guilt began to prod at him with its sharp talons. What the hell was wrong with him? Why had he let himself go on like that? A deep groan filtered through his lips as he drummed his fingers across the light, carpeted floor. He glanced forward, seeing dim rays of sunlight peering into the second-floor windows, and let out a sigh of relief, thankful that the night would soon be over.

He felt so weak, his emotions smothering him in an intense heat that he had come to loathe. Letting his eyes drift shut, he felt something tingle in his ear...silence. A small gasp fell out of his mouth as he leaned forward, listening intently. Had she finally fallen asleep? He sat still for what seemed like ages, internally fighting against his urge to open the door. He took in a sharp breath, leaning closer to the barrier, the sound of heavy breathing tickling his ear. Yes, she had to be sleeping. He cautiously pulled himself to his knees, wiping a hand across his forehead, blinking away the heaviness of sleep that had overtaken his eyes. Standing up, his hand slowly clasped the doorknob, his head quickly infusing with sounds of her protests and her requests for his absence. She didn't want him in there with her, he knew that. Still, his heart beckoned him forward, filling his hand with a restless feeling, causing it to rattle against the cool metal of the doorknob. Against his better judgment, he turned it.

The early morning sun flooded into his eyes as it beamed through the panes of Kagome's window, an array of colors bouncing across the bedroom. InuYasha could feel his body growing stronger with each step he took, the light beating against his face. As he neared Kagome's bed, he felt his heart give a violent lurch. She was laying flat on her back, her head turned on its side, and her arms thrown carelessly above her, resting gently on her pillow. Her raven hair was webbed around her, part of it falling softly on her shoulders. He watched her chest rise and fall, air sifting through her lips raggedly as he lowered himself by her side, folding his arms on the surface of the bed.

In that instant, he couldn't have hated himself more. Her face was still rosy and puffy from her persistent cries and strain. He sighed softly, moving his hand to her cheek, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. Caressing her skin with the tips of his fingers, he let his hand move to her chin, cupping it tenderly. His eyes wandered to her stomach, softening. The difference wasn't big, but it was still there. There was a tiny bulge there that was all too obvious. He felt a small smile curve his lips as he placed his hand on the bump, a surge of pride beginning to course through him.

“Damn human emotions,” he muttered, laughing feebly in spite of himself. Slowly, he let his hand glide across her stomach, taking quick glimpses at Kagome to be sure she was still asleep. Keeping his hand against her, he leaned closer. “Your mother wants you to be all right,” he said lamely, standing up, and pulling his hand back.

InuYasha let his arms fall to his sides for a moment, a realization pulling him in with its alluring touch. He reached into the folds of his haori, pulling something out, a small object. He stared at it with a blank look his eyes, thumbing it softly. “I guess I need to give this to you now, Kagome,” he whispered.

A/N: I'm an evil little witch, aren't I? Hehe. I take so much pride in that knowledge. Again, I apologize for taking so long. You know, I would've had this up yesterday, but my mother had the get the first season of Grey's Anatomy. I love that show, so I had to watch it. Also, my computer BROKE! Anyway, I'm very, very sick right now. I like to think of it as a blessing in disguise, though. If I weren't sick, then I would be at school right now. If I were at school, you wouldn't have this chapter right now. Reviews are adored! Thank you!