InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pirates of the Sengoku Jidai ❯ The Raid, Part Two, and Aftermath ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Pirates of the Caribbean. I, at several points, use references to other works such as Shrek, James Bond, and The Princess Bride. These will be followed by (Name sues.), indicating that I don't own the referenced material. If you don't like the story, I direct you to this advice from my beta reader:

O.k., this is a response to another review the author got. It flamed him, saying that "this idea was unoriginal and stupid." Now, as his friend and beta-reader, that pisses me off. And since he's my friend, if you insult him, you insult me. And I REALLY don't take insults very kindly. So, here's some advice: IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE DAMN STORY, THEN DON'T F-ING READ IT, YAROU!!!! READ SOMETHING ELSE!!! WE ARE NOT FORCING YOU TO READ THIS!!! YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO READ THIS FIC!!! OH, ONE MORE THING: *THIS IS A FANFIC!!!!* THIS IS SOMEONE'S IDEA OF A STORY LINE!!! SO SHUT UP, TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE-HOLE, AND USE THE DAMNED BRAIN I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'VE GOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O.K?!?!?!?!?!

Chapter Six

EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-STREET-NIGHT

((Inuyasha is in full battle lust, and woe to any pirate who gets in his way. He dual-wields with frightening proficiency. He stabs one pirate with Tetsusaiga at the same time as he caves in a second pirate's skull with his axe. Free of the pirates for a moment, he glances up at the governor's mansion, and sees the pirates dragging Kagome away.))

Inuyasha: KAGOME!

((He breaks into a run, managing to cut off their path as they turn into the street. His eyes widen when he sees Kikyo. Didn't he already kill this bitch? Nevertheless, he swings Tetsusaiga in a deadly arc. Kikyo falls down DEAD. She stands up in time to get KILLED by Inuyasha's axe. She gets up again, and receives simultaneous blows from sword and axe. Kikyo DIES. She stands up again.))

Kikyo: I'm just going to keep coming back, you know.

Inuyasha: Sweet! The more you come back, the more I can kill you!

((While he is distracted by this revelation, Kikyo hits him on the head with the butt of her gun, knocking him out. She grabs Kagome again, and continues hauling her to the ship.))

INT. CELL BLOCK-NIGHT

((A cannonball strikes, and the wall explodes inwards. Moonlight spills in through the gaping hole; beyond it: Freedom. Miroku digs himself out of the rubble, ready to leave…

But the hole is centered in the other cell. The part of it that extends into Miroku's cell is two small for a snake to slither through. The prisoner trio in the other cell, begin pouring out the hole. Prisoner #1 smiles at Miroku.))

Prisoner #1: My sympathies, friend. You've no manner of luck at all.

((Exit the prisoners, leaving Miroku. He spots the dog cowering under a bench.))

Sesshomaru: I, Sesshomaru, do not cower.

Author: Do you want to watch Jaken porn for the rest of your life?

Sesshomaru: Fine, fine. But I, Sesshomaru, will not forget this.

((Resigned, Miroku grabs the bone from the other cell, and begins rattling it against the bars.))

Miroku: It's all right, doggie. Come here, boy. Here Fido. Spot. Rover. Fluffy.

Sesshomaru: I will now quote Shakespeare to prove how aristocratic and cultured I am, despite being a completely emotionless bastard. **ahem** Lord, what fools these mortals be.

Miroku: Come here, you irritating, fluffy, little yipping thing.

Sesshomaru: I'd kill you for that, but I'm late for afternoon tea with Rin. Ta.

((The dog trots off.))

Miroku: `Ta' is my line!

((The door to the cell block bursts open. Musou enters, accompanied by a black haired female pirate, carrying a fan. This is KAGURA.))

Kagura: Your sense of misdirection never ceases to amaze me, Musou. We're nowhere near the armory.

Musou: That may be true, Kagura, but look what else we found.

((He points at the cell holding Miroku. Kagura snarls and steps in front of the cell.))

Kagura: Well, well, well. If it isn't Miroku Suzume.

Miroku: Captain Miroku Suzume, thank you.

Musou: Last time we saw you, you were stranded on a god-forsaken island, which was rapidly shrinking in the distance. How in Seven Hells did you get off?

Kagura: It doesn't matter-his fortunes haven't improved much.

((The pair laugh maliciously, but Miroku steps up against the bars, putting him in the spill of the moonlight.))

Miroku: Worry about your own fortunes. There is a place beyond the seventh hell reserved for traitors and mutineers.

((Kagura's hand leaps through the bars and grabs Miroku by the throat. He gasps-there is neither flesh, nor muscle on it. He is being throttled by a skeleton arm.))

Miroku: So there is a curse. That's interesting.

Kagura: You know nothing of hell.

((She drops Miroku unceremoniously on his rump. Once her arm leave the moonlight, it becomes normal again. She and Musou exit. Miroku glances at the bone now lying in the corner of the cell.))

Miroku: That's interesting. That's very interesting.

EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-NIGHT

((Amid the smoke, fog, and cannon fire, a longboat slips back through the fog. Kagome sits between Kikyo and Hojou, who are both ready to kill her if she makes any funny moves. The fog parts, and she gets her first good view of the Shikon no Tama: A massive galleon, it's black sails looming high above her. At the bow is an ornately carved figurehead, a topless centipede Youkai clutching a gem in one hand. The longboat makes for a pair of lines dangling from a winch.))

EXT. SHIKON NO TAMA-MAIN DECK-NIGHT

((The boat is lit by lanterns; no moon is visible beneath the smoke and fog. The longboat is raised above the deck rail, and Kikyo shoves her out. Hojou, ever polite, helps her to her feet. The boatswain, a massive wolf demon named ROUYAKAN blocks their path.))

Rouyakan: We're not supposed to be taking on prisoners.

Kikyo: She's invoked the right of parley with Captain Naraku.

Kagome: I would like to…

((She is cut off as Rouyakan slaps her.))

Rouyakan: You'll speak when spoken to, girl!

((He brings his hand in for another slap, but it is obstructed by a hand grabbing his wrist and painfully twisting it.))

Naraku: And you will not harm anyone under the protection of the Code.

((Rouyakan nods weakly, and stumbles off when his wrist is released. CAPTAIN NARAKU is an imposing demon, clad in a white baboon skin cloak. A squat toad demon perches on his shoulder. He has both sword and pistol at his side. Definitely not someone you want to meet in a dark alley. Naraku turns towards Kagome. He smiles, and his teeth are half-rotten.))

Naraku: My apologies. My boatswain can become quite…overeager. Now, as you were saying before you were so rudely interrupted?

Kagome: I have come to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Imperial.

((Naraku arches an eyebrow.))

Naraku: There's a lot of long words in that, girl, and we're naught but simple pirates. Now, why don't you say what you want so that my crew can understand you?

Kagome: I want you to leave and never come back.

((The entire crew, including Naraku have a hearty laugh.))

Naraku: I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

((He winks, and adds-))

Naraku: Means `no.'

Kagome: Have it your way, Captain Naraku. But if you don't cease your attack…

((Before the pirates can react, Kagome has slipped off the medallion. She dangles it over the side of the ship.))

Kagome: I'll drop it!

Naraku: My holds are bursting with treasure. A little shine like that matters to me…why?

Kagome: It's what you've been searching for. I recognize this ship; I saw it eight years ago.

Naraku: Did you now?

((Again, a crew-wide laugh. Kagome narrows her eyes. Time to call their bluff.))

Kagome: Very well then. If it is worthless, I guess theirs no point in me keeping it.

((She loosens her grip. The medallion begins to slip from her hand. As a whole, the crew charges forward to stop her. Naraku alone does not. Instead, he cradles his head in his hands, cursing the stupidity of his crew. Kagome retightens her grip and smiles triumphantly.))

Naraku: All right, you've caught us. Do you have a name?

Kagome: I'm Kagome…uh…

((There is a pause lasting one hour.))

Kagome: Kagome Ikkitousen. I'm a maid in the governor's household.

Naraku: You're a bad liar, Miss Ikkitousen, but I'm going to believe you for the sake of the script.

((A loud shattering in the distance. The author materializes on deck.))

Author: Do you know how expensive it is to repair the fourth wall?

Naraku: Uh…

Author: Then I suppose you wouldn't mind if I sent you the bill?

Naraku: Erm…

Author: Good. Ta!

((The author vanishes. Naraku turns back to Kagome.))

Naraku: How does a maid such as yourself come by such a trinket as that?

Kagome: Er…my father gave it to me.

Naraku: Very well. Hand that over, and we'll put your town to our rudder and never return.

Kagome: Can I trust you?

Naraku: Let me put it this way: If you don't hand it over, these will be the last friendly words you'll hear in your life.

((Kagome hesitates, then drops the medallion into Naraku's outstretched hand. His fingers curl around it instantly. He nods to Rouyakan.))

Rouyakan: Still the guns and stow `em! Signal the men, set the flags and make ready to leave port!

((Naraku smiles at Kagome, turns to leave.))

Kagome: Wait! You must return me to shore! According to the Code of the Brethren…

((She is cut off as Naraku spins around and grabs her by the collar. He lifts her into the air-his strength is prodigious.))

Naraku: Listen here: First of all, your return to shore was not part of our agreement, so I `must' do nothing. Secondly, you have to be a pirate for the Code to apply to you-and you're no pirate. Thirdly, the code is more what you'd call guidelines, rather than actual rules.

((He drops her and grins maliciously.))

Naraku: Welcome aboard the Shikon no Tama, Miss Ikkitousen.

((Kagome gapes in horror and surprise as Naraku stalks off. All she can do is watch as the shore shrinks away…))

EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-STREET-DAWN

((FADE IN on Inuyasha, still unconscious in the middle of the street. As a ray of dawn shines down on him, his eyes flutter open. He pushes himself to his feet, and takes in the devastation. Many buildings are no more than burned husks. Corpses litter the streets-and all of them are citizens of Port Imperial. It is the aftermath of a hell on earth. A terrible realization hits him-))

INT. FORT GOSHINBOKU-KOUGA'S OFFICE-DAY

((Inuyasha bursts in, short of breath, and still armed.))

Inuyasha: They've taken her! They've taken Kagome!

((Kouga, Ayame, Ginta, Hakkaku and Governor Higurashi, among others, are gathered around a large map of Ye Olde Known Worlde. Kouga snarls irritably.))

Kouga: We are well aware of the situation, Ikkitousen.

Inuyasha: Well, what are you still doing here? We have to hunt them down, rescue her!

Governor Higurashi: And where do you propose we start? If you have any idea where my granddaughter is, do tell me.

((Inuyasha pauses. He realizes he doesn't have any clue to Kagome's whereabouts.))

Inuyasha: Well…well, I heard one of the pirates mention the Shikon no Tama. That must be their ship.

((Hakkaku perks up on hearing the name.))

Hakkaku: Hey…that Miroku fellow mentioned the Shikon no Tama.

Ginta: Mentioned it is more what he did.

Hakkaku: Still-

Inuyasha: Of course! We can ask him where it is. Maybe he can lead us to it!

Kouga: I do not negotiate with pirates.

Inuyasha: This is Kagome's life! I think you can make an exception!

Kouga: One cannot make an exception to one's duty, Ikkitousen. Besides, the pirates left Miroku locked in his cell; ergo they are not his allies, and he is of no use to us.

Inuyasha: What? That doesn't even begin to make sense!

((Kouga ignores him, and turns to Governor Higurashi.))

Kouga: We will determine their most likely course, and launch a search party with the tide.

((Inuyasha growls angrily.))

Inuyasha: That's not good enough! This is Kagome's life!

((He slams his boarding axe through the map. Kouga's eyebrow twitches. The commodore grabs Inuyasha roughly and tosses him out the door.))

Kouga: This is not the time for rash action, Ikkitousen. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you are the only man here who loves Kagome. Now go home.

((Inuyasha gives him the finger; Kouga snarls and slams the door in his face.))

INT. FORT GOSHINBOKU-CELL BLOCK-DAY

((Miroku jiggles the bone in the lock, but his lock-picking skills are sub-par at best. He hears footsteps. Quickly, he drops the bone and assumes a relaxed position. Inuyasha enters, and marches straight up to Miroku's cell.))

Inuyasha: Are you familiar with the ship that attacked last night? The Shikon no Tama?

Miroku: I might be.

Inuyasha: Where does it make berth?

((Miroku sits up.))

Miroku: Haven't you heard the stories? The Shikon no Tama sails from the dreaded Isla de Muerta, an island that cannot be found, except by those who already know where it is.

Inuyasha: The ship's real enough. Logically, it's anchorage must be real as well.

Miroku: You know logic?

Inuyasha: In this fan fiction, yes.

Miroku: Well, why do you ask me?

Inuyasha: You're a pirate.

((His tone makes it clear that the statement should explain everything. Miroku deliberately plays dumb.))

Miroku: So you wish to become a pirate yourself?

Inuyasha: Never. They took Miss Higurashi.

Miroku: Ah, you have found a girl. Fascinating as that is, if you intend to run off and be her samurai in a red yukata, I'm afraid you'll have to do it on your own. I see no profit in it for me.

((There is a brief hesitation; Inuyasha doesn't like what he's about to do one bit.))

Inuyasha: I can get you out of here.

Miroku: How? The keys ran off.

Inuyasha: I helped build these cells. Hook and ring hinges. The proper application of leverage, and the door will come right off.

((Miroku takes the opportunity to inspect Inuyasha a bit closer.))

Miroku: What's your name, hanyou?

Inuyasha: Inuyasha Ikkitousen. Why?

Miroku: That's a good strong name. I assume you were named for your father?

((Inuyasha nods. Miroku stands up and grins.))

Miroku: Well, Inuyasha Ikkitousen, I've changed my mind. You spring me from this cell, and I'll help you track down your bonnie lass.

((He sticks his hand through the bars for Inuyasha to shake.))

Miroku: Do we have an accord?

((Inuyasha hesitates, but what choice does he have? He takes the proffered palm and shakes Miroku's hand.))

Inuyasha: Agreed.

Miroku: Agreed.

((Inuyasha grabs a chair and a bench. He makes the chair a fulcrum, and levers the bench under the door. With a mighty heave, he presses down. The door rises, then falls forward with a loud CRASH. Miroku steps out of the cell, clearly impressed.))

Inuyasha: Someone will have heard that. Let's go.

Miroku: Not without my effects.

((He grabs his sword, pistol, compass, and belt from a nearby rack. He straps on belt and sword, slides the compass into his pocket, and checks the shot and powder in his pistol.))

Inuyasha: You would have escaped if you had been willing to use that the last time we met. You could have shot me. Why didn't you?

Miroku: Are you telling me that was a bad idea?

((He aims the pistol at Inuyasha's chest, then laughs, and slides the gun into its pouch.))

Miroku: In my line of work, you learn to wait for the opportune moment. That was not it.

EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-DOCKS-DAY

((Inuyasha and Miroku make their way under the docks to a rowboat that's washed up on the beach.))

Inuyasha: A rowboat? We're going to pursue them in a rowboat?

Miroku: Of course not! That would be stupid. Our transportation is over there.

((He motions in the general direction of the Midoriko and the Kirara.))

Inuyasha: We're going to steal a ship?

Miroku: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. That's the nautical term.

((He starts to examine the rowboat, then glances back at Inuyasha. His tone is supremely serious.))

Miroku: I have to ask you a question, or there's no point in going. What exactly does this girl mean to you? How far would you go to save her?

Inuyasha: I would die for her

((Miroku is all smiles now.))

Miroku: Great! No worries then!

UNDERWATER-DAY

((Inuyasha and Miroku walk across the ocean floor, holding the rowboat above their heads. Somehow this creates a layer of air they can breathe.))

Inuyasha: How exactly does this work again?

Miroku: Search me, mate. Even the author doesn't know.

Inuyasha: Well, it's either madness or brilliance.

Miroku: Remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

EXT. HMS MIDORIKO-MAIN DECK-DAY

((Several Navy officers, among them Ginta, Hakkaku, and Ayame, are gathered on the deck engaged in a game of STRIP POKER. Ginta appears to be LOSING. Suddenly, Inuyasha and Miroku leap over the side of the ship, brandishing sword and pistol. Inuyasha closes his eyes so he doesn't have to look at the half-naked Ginta.))

Miroku: Remain calm. This ship is now under our command.

Inuyasha: Aye! Avast!

((The crew face-faults, and Miroku anime-sweatdrops. Lt. Ayame stands up and dusts herself off.))

Ayame: You're a fool. This ship cannot be crewed by two men. You'll never make it out of the harbor!

Miroku: You're forgetting one thing, miss.

((He leans in and whispers, as though he were telling a secret.))

Miroku: I'm Captain Miroku Suzume.

EXT. PORT IMPERIAL-DOCKS-DAY

((Kouga strides along the docks selecting ships for the search parties. He hears a noise and turns to see Ayame and crew rowing to shore in a very overcrowded rowboat. He cups a hand to his ear, and this time manages to make out Ayame's shouts.))

Ayame: Sir! They've taken the Midoriko!

((Kouga snaps out a telescope and turns his gaze to the Midoriko, which is sailing slowly out of the harbor. He sees Inuyasha at the helm, and Miroku in the crow's nest.))

Kouga: Rash, Ikkitousen. Too rash.

((He lowers the telescope, and adds-)

Kouga: That is, without a doubt, the worst pirate I've ever seen.

EXT. HMS MIDORIKO-MAIN DECK-DAY

((Miroku leans against the wheel, grinning like he was in the Playboy Mansion-which, by the way, is the property of Hugh Hefner, not the author. Inuyasha glances back. The Kirara is in pursuit, and gaining quickly.))

Inuyasha: They're coming.

((Miroku's grin widens; it's time to put his plan into action.))

EXT. HMS KIRARA-DAY

((The smaller, quicker Kirara quickly overtakes the Midoriko. Grappling hooks are thrown, and Kouga and company swarm across.))

EXT. HMS MIDORIKO-MAIN DECK-DAY

((The ship seems empty. Kouga snarls in frustration.))

Kouga: Search the whole ship, right down to the bilges! Leave no stone unturned.

Random Navy Officer: Sir, I don't think there are any stones on the Midoriko.

((Kouga slaps him.))

EXT. HMS KIRARA-MAIN DECK-DAY

((A lone sentry, a black haired young man by the name of TAKEDA NOBANAGA, guards the Kirara. Being a rather silly and unobservant fellow, he is caught entirely by surprise when Miroku claps a hand around his mouth.))

Miroku: Can you swim?

((Nobanaga mumbles incoherently. Miroku realizes the problem and removes his hand.))

Miroku: I repeat: can you swim?

Nobanaga: Of course, sir! Like a fish! I grew up right here with my uncle-

((What would undoubtedly be an extremely long, boring story is cut short as Miroku hurls Nobanaga overboard. In the meantime, Inuyasha has cut the ropes of the grappling hooks. He cranks the capstan bars, raising the foresail.))

EXT. HMS MIDORIKO-MAIN DECK-DAY

((Commodore Kouga whips around in time to see the Kirara pulling away. Despite his surprise, he maintains his composure.))

Kouga: Sailors! Back to the Kirara!

((But the distance is already too great. The few who attempt to swing across fall into the water-coincidentally, they all land on top of Nobanaga. On the Kirara, Miroku waves jovially.))

Miroku: Thank you, commodore, for getting us ready to make way! We'd have had a hard time of it by ourselves!

((Kouga seethes, but his order to Ayame is measured.))

Kouga: Raise the sails, Lieutenant.

Ayame: The wind is quarter from astern. There's no way to catch them.

Kouga: We don't need to catch them. Just get them in range of the cannons.

((Ayame hesitates before relaying the order.))

Ayame: Hands! Come about! Run out the guns!

((She glances back at Kouga.))

Ayame: Are we to fire on our own ship, sir?

Kouga: Better to see her at the bottom of the ocean than in the hands of a pirate.

((There does not appear to be any change in direction. Kouga looks about confused. Ayame realizes the problem.))

Ayame: Sir! They've disabled the rudder chain!

((Kouga's eyes widen, and we can tell he is attempting to come up with the proper curse words. As the Kirara dwindles in the distance, Ayame watches with some degree of admiration and respect.))

Ayame: That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen!

((Kouga snarls brusquely.))

Kouga: So it would seem.