InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sever the Tie That Binds ❯ The Ex-File ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

No I don’t own Inuyasha. I know its sad, but true.

A/N: This is my first story so please give me some feedback. I would really appreciate it. Thanks a bunch.

Chapter 8: The Ex-File

I stood there face to face staring at my past, eyes wide in shock. My mouth was hanging open, and I could feel my palms getting sweaty. This couldn’t be happening. The universe was playing some sick cosmic joke, and it was laughing at me.

The thread had been pulled so far and finally broke, making me fall on my face. He just stood there staring at me. My mind was telling me to run, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t get my feet to lift themselves off the ground. I was stuck. I was glued to the spot, lost in his violet gray eyes. I could hear Sango asking me something but I couldn’t make out the words.

The fun enjoyment of the evening had changed into my horrifying demise in the mere fifth of a second. During the engagement party, the sun had abruptly disappeared, the thunder clasped and the sky turned black. Doom was hanging over my head like a storm cloud, and any minute I would feel the down-pour. While my mind went blank his eyes never strayed from mine.

I was in a daze. This had to be a nightmare, I knew it. Any minute I would wake up. I stood there waiting for him to evaporate into thin air, but nothing happened. I was awake, he was real and my life had come to a halting stop. Oh God. No, this isn’t happening.

“Kagome.” I heard him say my name, I even saw his lips move as he said it, and I still couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t focus on anything. My mind went blank, all rational thought left my brain. My instincts were all screaming different things. Run! Say something! Get out of here! I didn’t know what to do or say. I panicked. My senses went into overdrive and I did the only thing I could think of.

I fainted.

I was vaguely aware of people yelling my name as I felt myself lose control of my body, my knees buckle and I fell to the floor.

As I started drifting back to consciousness my thoughts were not good. They were morbid, homicidal thoughts of murdering the soon-to-be-groom that failed to mention the fact that my ex was the best man.

I opened my eyes wishing it was all a dream. I was laying on the couch in the living room and Sango was standing above me, staring as if I just came out of surgery and she was looking for vital signs that I was alive.

A dark laugh escaped my throat. My hands grabbed my stomach as I started laughing hysterically. Sango’s looked changed from one of concern to frightened in a matter of seconds. She looked at me as if I had finally lost it.

“Kagome are you okay? Kagome?”

“Sango…” I said laughing more “Did you see who the best man was?” She knew who he was. We both knew who he was. He was my ex, the father of my child, the former love of my life. He was the heartbreaker, the bastard, the son of a bitch who nearly killed me. Yes we both knew who he was.

She didn’t say anything. The room had suddenly gone quiet. She gave me a sympathetic look and sat next to me. Her arm wrapped around my shoulders and I automatically leaned on her for support.

She understood, no words were needed. She knew that him being here was worse than landing on death row. He was what haunted my past, and now he was shadowing my future.

He was the best man. I would have to see him with her at the rehearsal dinner, at the wedding, and the reception. Then I remembered. I had fainted. The first time since I’ve seen him in six years and I fainted. Oh God, this was just getting worse.

For some strange reason Murphy’s Law was tagging along with me today. He just couldn’t seem to leave me alone. I felt like I wanted to start crying, but I wouldn’t.

“Koga is worried about you Kagome.” That’s when I looked outside, it had gotten dark and I wondered how long I had been unconscious for. Realization emerged from the depths of my brain and I remembered the most important, yet dangerous, factor about my ex. He and my son were now less than a mile from one another. Oh my God what if he saw him?

“Sango! Sango.” I started hyperventilating. I was terrified and having a nervous breakdown.

“Kagome calm down! Calm down! What’s wrong!” I was shaking her. Had she failed to realize that my ex was here, near my son. Didn’t she understand that Inuyasha couldn’t know about Taro. I had to get out of here.

“Where’s Taro, Sango? Where is he? Oh God Sango, please tell me he doesn’t know who Taro is!” My breathing became irregular and I was terrified that I might be experiencing a minor heart attack.

“Kagome, its okay. Calm down! Breathe! Taro is fine. He doesn’t know who he is okay, he’s fine. Just relax.” Whatever had been laying on top of me was thrown aside and I could breathe again.

“Now Kagome are you okay?”

“No, not really. My worse fear just walked back into my life.”
“I know, I know. Look it’s going to be alright okay? Don’t worry, no one told him about Taro.”

“I have to get out of here Sango.”

“No, Kagome. Your not running, not now. He’s in the wedding whether we like it or not. We cant change it, but you cant avoid it either. You have to face it. This problem is not going to go away. Let me tell you something now. If every time you run away from your fears your going to be running the rest of your life. Be an adult Kagome. Get up, go out there and face him.”

“I cant, I just cant. I wish I could but…”

“But what? You’re a coward. Now stop hiding, get up!”

“Sango, he’s with her isn’t he?” Suddenly she understood what I was afraid of. I was afraid of walking out there to see him happy in the arms of the woman he left me for.

“Why is this happening to me Sango. I was fine, I was over him until I saw him. Why does it still hurt?”

“Because your human. Because he was your first love, and its hard to forget your first love.” There was a long pause before she said anything.

“Kagome, do you still… love him?”

“No! I cant love him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.” I started screaming it over and over as I began crying. I was hurting again, the wound had reopened and I was bleeding again. I couldn’t love him, he loved someone else. I had a boyfriend, I couldn’t love him. It wasn’t possible. I hated him. I just had to.

All I was doing was trying to convince myself. It was easier to be angry. It was easier to hate him than it was to feel hurt. Sango grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into a hug trying to quiet my incessant screaming.

“Shhh. It’s okay Kagome. I know, I know it hurts but I promise its going to be okay. Time moves on and believe it or not your gonna get through this. Your gonna get over him. But first you have to let him go.”

“I know. Your right, I can do this.” I said wiping away my tears and sniffling. “I can do this, I will get over him.” I got up and started to walk for the door.

“Kagome where are you going?”

“I’m going to let go.” I said with a predatory gleam in my eye. She knew what I meant, I would fight this and I would win. I would not give him the power to hurt me again. Six years ago I was a naïve little girl who believed there was good in everything, and that was my downfall. I had trusted with all my heart only to have it destroyed along with all my hopes.

I would not be so stupid again. I was determined and damn it I would not fall again. I walked outside and scammed the party for Koga. I had to let him know I was alright.

It was dark and the lights were on. It was beautiful. It looked like the yard was covered in stars, everything sparkling. But I didn’t see him anywhere.

I didn’t want to look around to much for fear of bumping into him. I needed a drink. I walked over to one of the tables and grabbed a glass of Champaign. I had slept through the toast. I downed the whole glass in one gulp and grabbed another. I downed the second one and grabbed another before going to look for Koga.

I walked around keeping my eyes alert, carrying my third drink half gone in my left hand. I needed something stronger. I walked over to where Miroku’s father had set up the mini bar. I grabbed a bottle of vodka and poured myself a shot glass full of it. After my fourth shot, right around the time my eyesight started to blur, I got up and stumbled away looking for my date.

I was officially drunk. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but at the time it was the only thing I could think of to get him off my mind. And it worked. I was too focused on trying to walk straight that I didn’t think about him. Unfortunately I didn’t notice the step that led off the deck, and I fell face forward.

I shut my eyes, bracing myself for pain and waiting for impact. I didn’t feel any pain. Instead I felt someone grab me around the waist, stopping my potential collision with the ground. I looked up and wished I had fallen.

Ironic, how I had used alcohol as a means of escape. I had used it to avoid him, and now it landed me square in his arms. Yup, the universe was definitely laughing. He smiled at me, and I realized he was still holding onto me.

I jerked away from him and without a word began to run, unsuccessfully, in the opposite direction.

“Kagome, wait! Don’t run away from me!” I didn’t listen. I blocked him out of my head. He caught up with me easily. I was stumbling around drunk, and he was soberly running after me. No competition.

“Just go away Inuyasha. Your not wanted anywhere near me.” In spat at him disdainfully. He looked hurt for a minute before replying.

“Look, I just wanted to see if you were okay. I mean you fainted and I was worried.”

“Spare me. You weren’t worried. I bet you didn’t even care. Too wrapped up in your girlfriend to notice.” What was wrong with me? Why was I saying this? I couldn’t stop myself, the words just kept falling out of my mouth. I am never drinking again, it is not a good thing for me.

“Come on. Lets not do this, please. You know that’s not true at all. I do care about you Kagome.”

“Is she the one?” Oh God, why did I ask him that? More importantly why did I want him to answer it? I wanted to know if she was the one he left me for. Maybe I was a masochist, but I needed to hear it. I wanted to know. He knew what I meant. His face fell, and I think he realized in that instant how bad it hurt me after all these years. What he said next was in a whisper and I barely heard it.

“Yes.” So she was the one. The one he left me for and he’s been with her all this time. She was beautiful. Actually, she looked a lot like me, only colder. She had an air about her that seemed bitter and cruel. Her features were sharper, mine were softer. Her hair was longer than mine, but other than those few differences we looked very much alike.

And she was the one. That’s all I needed to hear. Once again I turned on him and stumbled away. I didn’t notice until I felt a drop of water fall onto my hand, but I was crying. I was thankful that when I walked away, this time he didn’t follow me.

I was heading for the exit when I bumped into someone. More importantly, Koga. Finally, some salvation, I thought.

“Kagome, there you are. Are you feeling okay? Wait, Kagome are you drunk?”

“Yes, and Yes” I replied wiping the tears off my face.

“Why are you crying?”

“Its nothing, lets just go. Where’s Taro?”
“He’s inside with Sango. Look I think we should get you home. You go wait in the car and I’ll go get Taro.” I nodded wordlessly and walked to the car, my high heels in one hand so I could make a better effort at walking.

I finally made it to the car and waited for Koga, keeping a look out for Inuyasha, I didn’t need him seeing Taro and asking questions. When I saw Koga walking out with Taro I relaxed and leaned my head against the seat while Koga strapped him in then took off.

“Are we there yet?”

“No.”

“Are we there yet?”
“No.”

“Are we there yet?”

“NO!”

“How about now?”

“NOO!”

“Okay, geez you don’t have to be all grumpy. I was just asking.”

“Kagome, will you please just sit still and be quiet until we get home?”

“Okay.” I kept readjusting my positions. I tried crossing my legs, but then my feet were uncomfortable. I tried propping my feet on the dashboard but Koga told me to take them down.

He was not a fun person to be around if you were drunk and annoying, he just didn’t understand me at the moment. I turned to look out the window hoping the scenery would help me relax. I was really grating on his nerves.

“Koga?”
“Yeah?”
̶ 0;Are we there yet?”
“For the last time Kagome, NO!” I couldn’t help myself I had to ask him again. When I started laughing he “hmphed” and kept his eyes steady on the road. Actually he was more like glaring at the road but I didn’t really care.

I was quiet the rest of the ride home. When we got to my house I was struggling to stay awake. I knew I would pass out the second I walked in the door. One thing was certain, tomorrow I would have the hangover from hell.

Koga helped me up the stairs. After the thirteenth time of trying to unlock the door myself, he grabbed the keys and let us in.

“You know, your really cute Koga.” I flirted while slinging my arms around his neck. I was drunk, in a playful mood, and more determined than ever to get over Inuyasha. I started kissing his neck once inside, and nibbling on his ear.

“Kagome, your drunk. I don’t think we can do this tonight.”

“Oh come on, don’t you like me.”

“Kagome you know I love you I just….” At my shocked expression he stopped mid-sentence. Koga had just said that he loved me. Now that, sobered me right up. I couldn’t say it back, not right now. I just couldn’t lie to him.

I liked Koga a lot, but love him? I wasn’t sure. Out of desperation and pure cowardice I did the only thing a girl could do. I passed out for the second time that night and fell to the floor with a loud THUMP.

The next morning I woke up in my bed still dressed in my clothes from yesterday. My head was pounding and felt like a jackhammer was doing roadwork in my brain.

Last nights events flashed through my head in small pieces before it hit me. Oh shit. Koga said he loved me, and I passed out on the floor without even acknowledging that I had heard him.

Before I handled that problem I needed some aspirin and a shower. I got up, on slow unsteady feet and dragged my worthless body to the bathroom. I took some aspirin from the medicine cabinet and jumped in the shower.

I needed to think. Last night I had run into my ex, gotten drunk, made a complete fool of myself most likely, and probably insulted Koga by not responding to his declaration. The truth is I passed out on purpose to avoid replying.

I would have said something, if I knew how I felt about it. Koga was a great guy, but I was still getting over my first love. I didn’t know if I loved him, or even if I could.

I didn’t want to say anything, so when reality became too much I escaped it by doing the first thing I thought of. I ran from it, well fell to the floor in a drunk heap, but avoided the situation no less.

I knew I had to sort this out later, for now I would focus on getting rid of my hangover.