InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sketches ❯ Choices ( Chapter 6 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Snowfall 
Confusion abounds
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.28.2009 | Updated On: 04.28.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 1.5K | Status: Work In Progress
Confusion abounds
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.28.2009 | Updated On: 04.28.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 1.5K | Status: Work In Progress
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Chapter 6
Choices
The door awaited Inuyasha, and the overwhelming scent of tears drew out his own. `What can I say to her? I know what I want. I just don't know what is right.' He felt like an ignorant beast, no ability to reason logically and so confused.
`Do I think different when I am human? It is only for one night. I can't even begin to know myself, what I think, and how I feel. Kagome is human. Maybe she can help me to do the right thing.' Furrowed brows suddenly shot up as Inuyasha's eyes widened.
“Kagome...” he called hearing her wail. Without a second thought, he burst through the door, heedless of whether or not it had been locked, not that he would have cared after hearing Kagome's weeping. He didn't allow her another breath before he scooped her up into his arms and held her face to his chest with his large clawed hand. He didn't know what to say. Kagome didn't give him time as she sucked in another breath, grasped his robe, stuck her face hard into his chest, and let out another wail.
He sat down on the floor with her cradled in his lap. “Kagome, please stop. You know how I hate it when you cry.”
Kagome pushed herself away from him and stared into his eyes, her countenance becoming hard and unforgiving. “You bastard,” she hissed, slapping him hard enough to turn his face to the side.
Keeping his face turned away from her, he closed his eyes.
“I hate it when I cry too! It makes me feel weak!” she half yelled half sobbed.
“You make me weak,” she lowered her voice.
“You...I love you...” she sobbed, “and, I don't know if you are lost to me.”
Inuyasha opened his eyes and turned back to gaze down into Kagome's. Her words echoed in his confused mind. Unsure of what to say and hoping to somehow reassure her of his feelings for her, he followed his instincts and lowered his face to her neck, to his mark, and tenderly licked it, sending shivers through Kagome's body.
“Please, Inuyasha, don't...not if you're going to leave me,” she uttered almost inaudibly, lowering her forehead to his chest.
Inuyasha tightened his hold on her, words escaping his lips of their own accord. “I could never leave you, but I am so confused. I need your help to understand,” he whispered into her hair beginning to caress her head. “What I did...I feel like I took advantage of you.”
Kagome could feel her tense body relax as she took a long breath shuddering as she released it. `He didn't say he loved me. What does he want from me? Help him understand what?' Now she was confused.
“I don't understand, Inuyasha.”
Kagome pushed herself away from him and stared into his eyes, her countenance becoming hard and unforgiving. “You bastard,” she hissed, slapping him hard enough to turn his face to the side.
Keeping his face turned away from her, he closed his eyes.
“I hate it when I cry too! It makes me feel weak!” she half yelled half sobbed.
“You make me weak,” she lowered her voice.
“You...I love you...” she sobbed, “and, I don't know if you are lost to me.”
Inuyasha opened his eyes and turned back to gaze down into Kagome's. Her words echoed in his confused mind. Unsure of what to say and hoping to somehow reassure her of his feelings for her, he followed his instincts and lowered his face to her neck, to his mark, and tenderly licked it, sending shivers through Kagome's body.
“Please, Inuyasha, don't...not if you're going to leave me,” she uttered almost inaudibly, lowering her forehead to his chest.
Inuyasha tightened his hold on her, words escaping his lips of their own accord. “I could never leave you, but I am so confused. I need your help to understand,” he whispered into her hair beginning to caress her head. “What I did...I feel like I took advantage of you.”
Kagome could feel her tense body relax as she took a long breath shuddering as she released it. `He didn't say he loved me. What does he want from me? Help him understand what?' Now she was confused.
“I don't understand, Inuyasha.”
Seeing Kagome like this had to be one of the worst things he'd ever experienced and he never wanted to witness it again. If it took baring his innermost thoughts, he would have to do it.
“I love you, but I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what is right, what is wrong. What was I thinking when I was human? What am I then? What am I now? I feel like two people who don't know each other, like when I am transformed as a full demon. I need your help to understand, to know myself, to know what I should do, what we should do. I don't know what to do, Kagome.”
Kagome wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed not wanting to let go. `He said he loved me. He finally said it in his hanyou form,' she sighed in relief. `That's just it. Who chooses who. Is that what he's confused about?'
“Inuyasha?”
“Yeah, Kagome?” Inuyasha searched her eyes looking for answers.
“Your human form chose me when you climbed into my bed. Your hanyou form chose me when you marked me. The hanyou was not confused, and neither was the human that followed his heart. You are confused because you know what you want, but you don't know the difference between me and Kikyou.”
“I love you, but I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what is right, what is wrong. What was I thinking when I was human? What am I then? What am I now? I feel like two people who don't know each other, like when I am transformed as a full demon. I need your help to understand, to know myself, to know what I should do, what we should do. I don't know what to do, Kagome.”
Kagome wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed not wanting to let go. `He said he loved me. He finally said it in his hanyou form,' she sighed in relief. `That's just it. Who chooses who. Is that what he's confused about?'
“Inuyasha?”
“Yeah, Kagome?” Inuyasha searched her eyes looking for answers.
“Your human form chose me when you climbed into my bed. Your hanyou form chose me when you marked me. The hanyou was not confused, and neither was the human that followed his heart. You are confused because you know what you want, but you don't know the difference between me and Kikyou.”
Inuyasha was silent at that. He had obligations that she couldn't understand, but he wasn't confused about who he truly wanted at his side. Her misunderstanding only led to hurt, and it was one of the reasons he shouldn't have been so weak as to take her and make her his.
Kagome's intuition told her where his confusion lay, but he had to make his own choices.
“You made your promise to Kikyou. Even though my heart and mind is my own, I possess Kikyou's soul. Just what part of me do you love? What part of Kikyou do you love? Whom did you truly make that promise to? I could be wrong, but I would hope that the promise was made to me. I am myself and Kikyou at the same time just as you are human and demon at the same time. Does this make sense to you? Your confusion will persist as long as you can't choose. You must figure it out on your own, and you must choose. I can't do it for you.”
Kagome waited. With each passing moment, she felt a stronger urge to throw up. She clutched the back of Inuyasha's robe in her tiny hands, feeling as though it would be the last time he would ever hold her in his arms, the last time she would ever feel the warmth of his body against hers, and she wanted this permanently etched into her memory.
Inuyasha's eyes roamed around the sky-blue, tiled bathroom as he slowly processed what Kagome had just said.
`She is like me, like a hanyou. But, she has no confusion. Neither does Kikyou. Kikyou loves to hate me. Yet, even with Kikyou's soul, Kagome loves me. I don't love Kikyou anymore, do I? It is her soul that is in Kagome. Gods, this is hard. Who did I make that promise to?'
“I'm cold, Inuyasha.”
Rather than standing up and grabbing a towel, Inuyasha tugged off his robe and helped Kagome slip into it while only partially aware of his actions. Kagome looked up at him as he helped her with the sleeves. The mark she had left on his cheek was beginning to turn purple. She hadn't realized that she had slapped him so hard.
“I'm so sorry I hit you. Please forgive me, Inuyasha,” she whispered, capturing his gaze and staring into his golden orbs.
“It's okay. I deserved it,” he said slowly leaning down and tenderly resting his lips on hers as he wrapped her waist in his large hands.
`She is right. I must choose,' thought the confused, ignorant hanyou while he deepened his kiss and ran his tongue along her lips. It was so difficult to let her go, to allow the night before to be just a memory. Leaning into his kiss and tipping her head back with a crooked finger, he ran his tongue along the soft inner fold of her lips and begged for entrance.
Despite everything that had happened, Kagome could not help herself. Opening up her heart with a bittersweet love, she allowed him to taste her and allowed herself to savor him.
`Has he made his choice?'
Kagome's intuition told her where his confusion lay, but he had to make his own choices.
“You made your promise to Kikyou. Even though my heart and mind is my own, I possess Kikyou's soul. Just what part of me do you love? What part of Kikyou do you love? Whom did you truly make that promise to? I could be wrong, but I would hope that the promise was made to me. I am myself and Kikyou at the same time just as you are human and demon at the same time. Does this make sense to you? Your confusion will persist as long as you can't choose. You must figure it out on your own, and you must choose. I can't do it for you.”
Kagome waited. With each passing moment, she felt a stronger urge to throw up. She clutched the back of Inuyasha's robe in her tiny hands, feeling as though it would be the last time he would ever hold her in his arms, the last time she would ever feel the warmth of his body against hers, and she wanted this permanently etched into her memory.
Inuyasha's eyes roamed around the sky-blue, tiled bathroom as he slowly processed what Kagome had just said.
`She is like me, like a hanyou. But, she has no confusion. Neither does Kikyou. Kikyou loves to hate me. Yet, even with Kikyou's soul, Kagome loves me. I don't love Kikyou anymore, do I? It is her soul that is in Kagome. Gods, this is hard. Who did I make that promise to?'
“I'm cold, Inuyasha.”
Rather than standing up and grabbing a towel, Inuyasha tugged off his robe and helped Kagome slip into it while only partially aware of his actions. Kagome looked up at him as he helped her with the sleeves. The mark she had left on his cheek was beginning to turn purple. She hadn't realized that she had slapped him so hard.
“I'm so sorry I hit you. Please forgive me, Inuyasha,” she whispered, capturing his gaze and staring into his golden orbs.
“It's okay. I deserved it,” he said slowly leaning down and tenderly resting his lips on hers as he wrapped her waist in his large hands.
`She is right. I must choose,' thought the confused, ignorant hanyou while he deepened his kiss and ran his tongue along her lips. It was so difficult to let her go, to allow the night before to be just a memory. Leaning into his kiss and tipping her head back with a crooked finger, he ran his tongue along the soft inner fold of her lips and begged for entrance.
Despite everything that had happened, Kagome could not help herself. Opening up her heart with a bittersweet love, she allowed him to taste her and allowed herself to savor him.
`Has he made his choice?'
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*Disclaimer*
Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.
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