InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sleep Paralysis ❯ My Last Wish ( Chapter 9 )

A/n: Yes, the half assed poems in here are MINE. Meh.

 

 

Chapter IX: My Last Wish

 

 

 

A night remembrance

Upon sorrowful dreams

Leaves me in waking

Watching the world full of fearful things.

A full moon night

Leaves me craving your touch…

A lonely thought

Turns ashes to dust…

 

Kagome stared down at the gentle curves of her kanji, considering a moment before scratching a line through her words.

 

She began again.

 

The end my friend,

A world on fire sings

And forgets of me.

 

Kagome frowned at her attempted haiku, slamming her composite book shut as the bell rang.

 

Today was going to be a very hard day indeed…

 

~~~*~~~

 

“Kagome-chan… why do you look so upset?” Sango inquired as she picked at her spaghetti absent-mindedly. Kagome shrugged slightly, drawing a blank for any sort of relevant answer.

 

“…I don't know.”

 

Kagome stared down at her sandwich… peanut butter and jelly.

 

She bit into it, and swallowed thickly… almost regretfully…

 

“…how can you not know?” Sango stabbed a hapless noodle and shoved it into her mouth.

 

Kagome looked up at her, somewhat impatiently. “What do you mean, how do I not know?”

 

Sango frowned at her lunch, as if concentrating on something that seemed difficult to comprehend. “Exactly what I said. How does someone not know when they are upset?”

 

Kagome scowled at her sandwich in contempt. “Easy. I don't.”

 

Sango knew that was the end of that conversation.

 

“…So, how was your date with Inuyasha?” Kagome lifted her eyes up at her rather nosy companion… Begrudgingly, someone she started to consider a friend…

 

“It wasn't a date.”

 

Sango smirked, looking at her slyly. “Sure it wasn't… I mean, it was only you two… alone… albeit, not a date… right?”

 

Sango grinned smugly at Kagome who took another large bite of her sandwich to fill her mouth with something other than another sarcastic remark.

 

“Aw, c'mon Kagome. Whenever I mention him you clam up like you used to.”

 

Kagome gave Sango a threatening look that mentioned she was walking in dangerous territory.

 

Sango sighed in defeat. Kagome could be hopeless sometimes.

 

“All right, all right… if you insist, I'll drop it. But I still think you're crushing on him.”

 

Kagome exhaled gently, somewhat in frustration. “Thank you, I do insist… and besides, crushes are for children.” Sango rolled her eyes, pointing her chopsticks at Kagome… though Kagome always teased her about eating American food with chopsticks, Sango didn't care. She ate pizza rolls with chopsticks, for crying out loud…

 

“We are children Kagome… did you forget?”

 

Sango watched as Kagome gave her a side long glance, and then turned to look at her food with some sort of longing she didn't quite understand.

 

“…age means nothing to me, Sango.”

 

This caught Sango's attention… though she had heard that sort of declaration from other kids her age, she had never heard it quite in that sense… with so much longing…

 

So much sorrow…

 

“…why…?”

 

Kagome seemed to snap out of her thoughts.

 

“Why what?”

 

Sango looked at her quizzically, trying to understand Kagome. Though she had spent a good deal of time with the girl, she still felt as clueless about her as the first day she laid eyes on her some days… Yet, no matter what… she still felt a strong bond with the girl she didn't quite understand.

 

“Why doesn't it mean anything to you?”

 

Kagome blinked, understanding dawning on her…

 

Though with that understand came silence.

 

Sango realized that Kagome thought she had said too much…

 

But Sango knew, if she kept her mouth shut sometimes and didn't pry, Kagome would open up on her own. So she stared patiently, waiting to see if she would respond or not…

 

And as Kagome considered her carefully, she could almost see the moment she decided.

 

She opened her pink tiers to speak softly.

 

“…Because the world doesn't care about age either.”

 

This confused Sango… of course the world cared about age! That's all everything was… A certain age to get into clubs, to drink, to drive, to get into certain schools and certain grades at certain levels… an acceptable age difference between a boyfriend and a girlfriend… acceptable age to have sex, and even an acceptable age to fall in love…

 

At times… some of the boundaries seemed rather ridiculous… But it was always based on an age…

 

“But… everything revolves around age. Drinking, driving, smoking, dating, job hunting, developing…” Sango listed off some little things, just to show Kagome age did in fact matter.

 

“…Not society, Sango. The world. Person to person. All emotion and no limitations.” Sango stared wordlessly, hoping she'd elaborate.

 

Kagome sighed in agitation and impatience. She ran a hand through her thick hair, looking up at Sango quietly. She almost wished she were Inuyasha…

 

…at least he'd understand…

 

“Sango… let's say if… well…that…” She stared at her expectant friend… what in the world was a good example.

 

“Let's say… a man points a gun to your head and pulls the trigger, Sango. Okay?” Her friend gave her incredulous look, and Kagome got somewhat wrung up. “Humor me, please.” Sango waved her hand in a show of `continue', and Kagome nodded and said, “Thank you.”

 

“Now… if the man pulled that trigger, for whatever reason, he still had the incentive to do it regardless. Would it matter, you think, to this man if you were ten years older or younger? Don't you think he'd still do it?”

 

Sango stopped and really thought for a second. She thought Kagome deserved a good response to this..

 

“It depends, though… Why did he do it? What did I do to cause him to do it?”

 

Kagome shook her head, “That doesn't matter Sango. What does matter is that he had the resolve and he's going to do it whether you're four or forty. Do you think he cares what your age is? Do you think he cares if he takes your innocence by giving you pain? Do you think he cares if he misses and hurts you in worse ways? Do you think he'd take another second to look at you and wonder if it really was the best thing to do before he did it?”

 

Sango stared at her friend grimly. She couldn't answer. She just couldn't.

 

“Do you?” The desperation in Kagome's voice put her on edge, and she knew that there was more to this than just a theory or idea. There had to be experience.

 

“Kagome… I don't care who you are or what you did… but no person, no one has the right to hurt another willingly. But it happens, and we can't do anything about it…”

 

Kagome shook her head, something akin to hopelessness falling about her face… and it was breaking Sango's heart.

 

“Except turn to those that love us, Kagome. For as much pain as those around us are willing to deal, there will always be someone who is willing to give us just as much love to help soothe it.”

 

Sango watched as Kagome slowly lifted her head to her, and she gasped at the emotion that glistened in those stormy eyes… Kagome gave a shaky sigh, quickly stood and said shortly, “I've got to go.”

 

Sango blinked, reaching out to her dear friend, “Kagome-chan…”

 

But Kagome never stopped walking away. Sango just shook her head sadly, looking to the left where she saw Inuyasha watching with that same forlorn look Kagome had on her face.

 

Sango just didn't know what to do with either of them…

 

~~~*~~~

 

Kagome shifted in the bed next to Inuyasha, curling up into the warmth next to him…

 

For the second night in a row she opted out of going home and instead stayed with him. She didn't care, though… she just didn't care.

 

“You sure it's okay, Kagome…?” She heard his rough voice ask above her, the gruffness toned down by a soft undercurrent that spoke volumes to her and warmed her heart.

 

“It is okay, Inuyasha…” She said for about the millionth time, burying her face into her chest as she said it and breathed in his scent deeply.

 

She felt his chest rumble softly with a deep, silent chuckle.

 

Kagome knew… she knew she couldn't do this without him anymore. His presence was too comforting… too relaxing…

 

He made her feel safe…

 

And that was what mattered most to her.

 

Kagome sighed softly, contentedly, and recalled Sango's words from earlier that day. She had walked off, ignoring her friend's calling of her… for the simple fact she knew Sango saw through her. She knew Sango's words were true…

 

And that's how she knew she couldn't do this alone anymore…

 

And she wasn't going to fight it, either… it only caused more pain… she knew that…

 

Kagome felt Inuyasha's breathing even out, as he fell asleep. Smiling softly, she spoke, “That was quick…”

 

She laid her head down against his shoulder, closing her eyes… and hesitantly… decided for the first time in ages… to actually allow herself to slumber.

 

Perhaps… it will be peaceful… I hope…

 

She silently wished, before allowing the darkness to consume her.