InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Spiritual Machines ❯ In Repair ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A moment between Inu and Kag is ruined by a curse, Kagome decides she can't take it, what will happen when Inuyasha lets her know a bit on how he feels?

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Occult / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.05.2005 | Pages: 14 | Words: 10.4K | Visits: 329 | Status: Completed

Spiritual Machines

Chapter 2

In Repair

A/N - The Disclaimer in the first chapter counts for all of it, so I don't have to write it again, right? I'm shocked and appalled at you readers! I only got one review! Tut tut, I hope that this chapter will bring better results!

We left off when…

“I'll…make it up to you…” [said by Inuyasha, after fell out of tree]

Well it's good to know

That you'll be ok

I've been

Waiting for this

They were on the road again. To Kagome, it seemed like all they did was walk, always walk, to the ends of the earth.

“Hey, Inuyasha…are you sure you're ok?” she asked.

“I told you, I'm fine, you worry too much…”

Inuyasha had barely said a word since they left that morning. When he had spoken, it was distracted and unaware.

“But it was from so high up…and it's never happened to you before…” she said quietly, quickly becoming lost in her endless sympathy and care for him.

“Nightmares like mine…” was all he could say.

Falling out of a tree is getting off easy, compared to how disturbing they are.

“Say, let's stop somewhere!” said Kagome.

“Stop…somewhere? In case you hadn't noticed, there's no where to stop!” said the annoyed Inuyasha.

They were surrounded by grass and trees. Their searches had brought them to a thick forest, completely deserted by any people, and very few animals darted in and out between the underbrush.

“Well…I mean like actually stop walking for once!” she replied irritably.

“Keh…you should be used to it by now! We've been walking for a hell of a long time!” said Inuyasha, who was too busy thinking of an excuse to stop that would save his pride to be nice.

“Exactly all the more reason to STOP!” finally shouted Kagome, losing her patience.

“Kami, if it'll shut you up then fine, stop! Do what you want!” and with that he jumped up into the closest tree and proceeded to sulk.

“…I wish you would just talk to me…” she said in a huff, before sitting down with a sigh at the foot of the tree.

And I'll be there to sit

While you pray

No one's

Blaming me

~Spotlight's on Inuyasha~

Inuyasha sat in his tree, cursing himself again. “Dammit, I fucked up again!” he exclaimed quietly enough so the human girl beneath him wouldn't hear him.

Oh, but you did. You are a horrible friend.

Inuyasha went white as he looked around wildly. “W-who said that?” he whispered, still trying to keep it secret.

You don't know yet? God Inuyasha, you're getting slow.

“Naraku! Where are you!” he fumed.

Near and far, here and there; I can see you now but I doubt you can see me.

“You're watching with that creepy bitch Kanna, aren't you!” Inuyasha said, burning with rage.

Why yes, and I suppose I can see the future as well. You see, in about 10 seconds, Kanna will appear in front of you and take you to me.

At that moment, the dreaded event happened, and as Inuyasha immediately got swept through the mirror, he had not even the time to yell for Kagome.

~Kagome~

“I better make amends with him…” she muttered, and then stood up.

“Look, Inuyasha I'm sorry I sna-“ she said, and then looked up. Inuyasha was gone.

“Inuyasha?”

Kagome began looking around in different trees. Could she have the wrong one?

“INUYASHA?” she shouted, for he was nowhere to be seen and she was utterly lost.

“I'm right here.” She whirled around and, to her relief, there he stood, but there was a strange look on his face.

“Inuyasha? Are you alright?” she said. “Where did you go?”

I'm not supposed to

Wait.

While they open up

Your heart.

“I…went for a walk. That's all.” He said.

“And you didn't tell me? Man, what is your problem these days?” she exclaimed.

Inuyasha paled even further, making her wish she hadn't said that.

“Nothing.” Was the reply as he turned away from her.

I escaped Naraku, but everything is coming true, I'm going to hurt her, I'm going to hurt us both…

“Inuyasha?”

“I told you, it's nothing!” he said angrily as he whirled around, but his voice did not match his face.

His face showed fear.

Cold frozen fear.

“Inuyasha! Where have you been? You're so unlike yourself now - what happened to you! A stupid walk wouldn't have done this! You look as if Naraku came and put a curse on you or something!”

That was the last straw. Inuyasha, hearing the truth behind the words that Kagome had just blurted mindlessly, fell to his knees, shaking.

“Inuyasha! Please tell me what's wrong!” cried Kagome desperately, running over to him with tears spilling down her cheeks.

“No! If you come near…” I won't be able to stop myself…

Kagome ignored him and knelt down next to him, with a hand on his shoulder.

“Inuyasha…please talk to me…” she whispered as her arms slid around him, pulling him towards her.

“Kagome…” the word was a ghost, barely heard as he finally turned to face her.

His eyes…they look so haunted, and yet so …do I dare hope it? Do I see the love I have for him returning in them?

She leaned a little closer to him, blushing at her own thoughts.

He followed suit, resigning himself to fate, the short lasting curse, the woman he wanted.

I have been good

I understood

Like a machine they'll

Fix you from the start.

His lips brushed against hers, causing them both to pull apart and stare at each other.

“Does this mean-“ said Kagome.

“Only if you-“ muttered Inuyasha at the same time.

“Inuyasha…does this mean…that…” she broke off, unable to finish the sentence for fear of rejection.

“Kagome…I care…” he said with a sudden ferocity and leaned forward to take her away once more.

My dreams, my fantasies…all of them are finally coming true… was the last real, fully formed thought before she simply surrendered herself to the hanyou she had desired for so long.

Kagome…I don't want to hurt you…but you're so…was the thought that Inuyasha started to form in his mind, before giving in to his wants.

He felt an urgency he had never felt before, never with Kikyou, never before, he couldn't stop, trying to press himself as close to her as possible so he would never be alone again, just connected, forever…

Then Kagome's knees gave out and she fell down to the forest floor, dragging Inuyasha with her, and she never wanted to stop being with her one and only, her beloved Hanyou…always and forever in his arms, feeling him against her…

I never knew a first kiss would be like this… thought Kagome as she clung to him, loving the way he had his attention on her for a change.

Kagome…I sure hope you like this as much as I do…but soon it will all be for nothing…you'll surely hate me…but I can't stop Naraku's curse on me…

Inuyasha knew that soon he would have no choice but to ruin the moment, his mouth would do something stupid again, but this time it wouldn't be his fault…

I'm in repair

The life that we share

I know that I'll be lost in

But we're always in repair

Lock the door…lock the door…

He could feel doom upon them…the curse laid heavy on their passion…

Kagome.

He held her against him, hoping that his body could tell her what he so wished for her to know…

I'm sorry…

The single word that would destroy everything, it was on the tip of his tongue, and as much as he fought it, it slipped out….

“Kikyou…” he forcedly said, wishing with all his pained heart that he could take it back.

Kagome began to cry, pulling away from him.

“I knew it! I knew you could never care for just me!” she cried, sobbing.

It nearly broke Inuyasha, being so happy one minute, and having it all blown away…and to boot, having Naraku cause it again…

One day he would kill him for all the pain he caused in all the lives he cared about.

“I thought that for once maybe you could like me! Maybe more than that! But no…even when I try to give you my heart all you can think of is that undead bitch! Inuyasha…why did you even start something like that if you were just going to ruin it?”

“No, Kagome…it's not like that I swear!” he said, walking towards her.

“Naraku…put a curse on my words…he forced me to do that…I didn't want to…” he tried to explain but even he could hear how hollow the truth sounded.

“Yeah right! You just used what I said earlier to make up some lame ass excuse for breaking my heart!” she was screaming at him, with sobs that were wrenched from the depths of her very soul.

“Kagome, I know it sounds stupid! I know it sounds like a lame ass excuse! But it's the truth!”

He went to try and hold her, to reassure her of his words.

“Get away from me!” she hissed, hoarse from her crying. Inuyasha drew back, his face a mask of suffering, but for once, Kagome did not soften at the sight of it.

Instead, Kagome ran.

And it's good to know

That you'll drive away

From this car crash

Nightmare

She ended up at the Bone Eater's Well. And although she jumped through, she did not go home.

She ran down the shrine steps, her mind in turmoil.

One thought in the madness, as her feet pounded on the sidewalk, resounded in her head.

How could he do that to me?!

He held me…kissed me…was I nothing but a copy of his former lover?

The thought, which on a normal day would have made her furious with rage, plunged her soul into a new level of despair.

This she would never, ever get over.

Now that she had the chance to think about it, running all the while, not even knowing where, nor caring who saw her…what was the point of going on?

How ironic…her desperate flight was bringing her straight towards the Tokyo Bridge.

She slowed to a walk, out of breath from her sobbing and her running, and began the steep ascent up the bridge, to the very center.

Kagome sat on the rail, looking down at the churning water below her, a place where she had so often as a child sat and thought whenever she needed to be by herself.

She had always been careful to not slip, and to escape a watery fate.

Today might be different.

Today she might just not be careful.

And today, it just might not be an accident.

Maybe tomorrow, there would be a headline that said…

Teen commits suicide at Tokyo Bridge.

Smiling for what she believed to be the last time, Kagome reached her decision.

And stood up on the rail.

And I'll be there to

Help you again

There's no

Danger

Inuyasha sat in the clearing for a few minutes after she left.

Thinking.

Wishing.

Hating.

Thinking of what a bastard he was…he should have fought it harder, stopped that name from coming out of his mouth, which was still tingling from the feel of her mouth on his…

Wishing that he could make it up to her, but realizing that only she could decide whether or not to forgive him.

Certainly she would not believe him.

Hating Naraku, for doing everything like this to him, to Kagome…

He couldn't stop her from hating him.

But he could try.

Inuyasha picked himself up off the ground and sped off, heading for the Bone Eaters Well and beyond, for he knew that this one time Kagome would not be at home.

Kagome allowed herself a few last thoughts before her fatal jump.

She thought of many things, of how much she loved Inuyasha…how much she wished that Kikyou had never been…how much she knew she still yearned for Inuyasha's touch…

Of the moments before he had said her name…he had seemed so gentle, so loving, exactly like and ridiculously opposite the Inuyasha she had known before this whole mess had started…

Of how sorry she was that she had to do this, sorry for her family, for Sango and Miroku…but it could not be helped.

For there was no way she could live with this in her heart.

We're just killing time

Again

While they order up

New parts

Inuyasha had emerged from the well, and was speeding along the streets of Tokyo, following the scent of Kagome's clothes and hair….

…and the scent of her salty tears, each one reminding him of his agony.

But he shoved his feelings aside, because he had no idea what Kagome was thinking of doing, since she wasn't home; he had checked briefly, just in case.

He feared the worse.

Especially when he came in sight of a huge bridge.

Kagome straightened up, and looked down.

The last thing I will ever see… she thought to herself, and the thought brought with it peace, relief, terror, and self-revulsion at the same time.

But there was no helping it.

Kagome jumped.

Inuyasha arrived at the opposite shore just as she began her fall.

Her eyes were closed, so she didn't see him standing there in terror and disbelief.

As he finally snapped to attention, out of the trance at her falling form, he jumped, jumped as quick and far as was possible for him, and screamed her name.

“KAGOME!!”

I must be imagining things…it's as if I hear Inuyasha calling for me…

All of a sudden, she didn't want to die.

It was just like with Kikyou, when she had seen them together.

So many times.

In the beginning, she was so miserable, she almost turned to this….

But this time she had had no time to think, to actually think of what she had done.

Now it was too late.

Kagome began to cry again, silently praying that for some miracle she would be able to keep living.

To even just see his face…one last time…

She felt as if she were flying, not falling anymore, just floating, and in the background she heard screams of the bystanders that had finally noticed what she had done.

She also heard gasps of amazement, and as if her hearing was enhanced suddenly, she heard a woman whisper, “Thank God she had someone who cared.”

But then, that made no sense, because she was falling…right?

This was sure taking a long time…was the bridge really that high up?

Kagome opened her eyes.

I have been good

I understood

Like a machine they'll

Fix you from the start

She was not falling, but she was in the air. She was moving forward, at an incredible speed, and she wasn't doing it on her own.

She looked at a hand on her shoulder that seemed a little too familiar.

It had claws.

All of a sudden she knew what was happening.

And the tears that had never stopped falling renewed their pace.

I'll get dehydrated if I keep crying like this… was the only thing that came to her mind.

She could not accept that something she wished for had actually happened today.

She had been saved.

She could still be with Inuyasha.

And now, she knew, he cared a little bit.

They stopped, on the other side of the giant river, but Inuyasha did not set her down.

“Inuyasha…” she whispered.

“Why?” he said, demanding and angry.

But Kagome was grateful that she knew him well enough to know that he wasn't really angry with her.

“Why would you?!” Inuyasha asked her, his tone more urgent now.

“I…can't tell you now…” she muttered lifting her head a little, but as soon as she did the world started to spin, and she felt herself begin to faint.

Inuyasha shook her a little. “Kagome!”

She pushed herself out of his hold on her, ran to the shore, and fell to her knees.

Kagome saw her reflection as she looked into the water, deathly pale where it wasn't red from her tears.

She vomited.

I'm in repair

The life that we share

I know that I'll be lost in

But we're always in repair

Shock, that's what she's suffering from. Thought Inuyasha as he watched her throw up over and over again into the river.

I don't want to remember that she actually went so far as this.

Which led to a whole new thought…Am I that much to her?

Maybe almost as much as she is to me…

He came up behind her, to make sure she was all right - she seemed to have stopped throwing up, at any rate.

Kagome was on her hands and knees, her head hanging low over the water.

As he came near she flinched and put her head lower still.

“I don't know why. I wasn't thinking.” She said, her voice flat and emotionless, but Inuyasha knew that behind it she was suffering greatly.

He crouched beside her and put his hand gently on her back, but the sudden feeling of the warmth on her spine made Kagome wildly kick forward, accidentally sending herself into the river. Fortunately, it wasn't very fast, and she was able to stand up with the water up to her shoulders, but that was all her body would allow her to do.

She could not get up or walk back to the shore, just stand there shivering and crying.

Inuyasha stood up and waded into the river, picked her up again, and brought her back to shore.

“Here, you better put this on again. You'll get sick and die before you can do it yourself.” He gave her his Fire Rat Cloak, wrapping it around her shoulders.

“Thank you…” she muttered, not meeting his eyes, preferring to close them and continue to shiver.

“I'm sorry.” Inuyasha said abruptly. “Sorry for making you do this…”

She looked up at him with sorrowful eyes.

“Yes, why did you say such a thing? Are you trying to hurt me? Congratulations on succeeding.”

“I'm not…what I said about Naraku placing a curse on me to be forced to hurt you was absolutely true, no matter what you believe.” He was using the same monotonous tone on her that she was using on him, and Kagome hated it, couldn't he show some emotion sometimes?

“I don't know what to believe…lately, you've just been so…oh, goddammit Inuyasha, you've been acting so odd I don't know what to think of it!” she burst out, her frustration clear as she pounded her fist against his chest with what little energy she had left in her tired body.

Come to think of it…I think I'd rather go back to those shitty nightmares rather than deal with this situation…

Take this time

To figure it out

Know the wire, the fuse

The things that you doubt

“Do you want to stay in this era tonight?” he asked, not really sure what to say to her, it seemed that the Kagome he had known had been left behind in those few hours.

For the first time since she had attempted to take her own life, Kagome's eyes went wide with a vast terror.

“I don't know…there's so many ways I could kill myself and I don't know what I'll do…but it's so warm back here…and my family is away for a week…”

“I can stay with you if you want. You need rest that you can't get back in my time.” He offered, hoping that she wouldn't push him even further away from him.

He's acting so gentle now…and I don't know what to think…would he really do that for me?

“It's nothing I haven't done before…” and it seemed to Kagome that his expression softened a little, with more concern than anger.

“That's true…” she whispered, and all of a sudden she felt so very tired, and just wanted to sink into a warm bath or a soft bed, and sleep until the world ended.

With these final thoughts, Kagome finally sank into blessed unconsciousness.

Inuyasha held her up as her body slumped.

“I'm surprised it happened this late…it's probably better that now she can get some rest.” He said to himself.

Inuyasha picked her up off the ground, and began to walk back to the shrine. He would have ran, and got there faster, but he didn't want to wake up Kagome - even though he thought there wasn't much chance of that anyway.

The wheels, the metal

The air, the mouth

Something, something

He arrived back at the Higurashi shrine about half an hour later, where he took Kagome up to her room and laid her under the blankets.

A minute later however, he reconsidered. Kagome was still soaked from her little fall in the river, and it would be a bad idea to keep her that way, and get her bed wet, but he didn't want to disturb her…or change her!

“Oh great, now what do I do?” he said softly, blushing at the concept of getting her out of her wet things and back into different clothes - all while she was asleep.

He ran his hand through his hair - there was no way he could do this. There was nothing to be done, he supposed, and as much as he didn't want to, he was going to have to wake her up.

“Kagome…” he said while gently shaking her, but with no avail.

“Kagome! You need to wake up for a minute…” shaking her a little harder.

“Inuyasha…” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “Was that all just an awful dream?”

Kagome sat up, with difficulty, and laid her head in her hands. “No, it wasn't, it couldn't have been…I'm all wet and you're here, and I'm just so tired…”

“You'll have to get changed into something else other than what you have on, your school uniforms all wet, and you'll get really sick.” He said awkwardly.

“Alright…I guess you're right.” She replied, but when she tried to get up, she nearly fell down on the floor, grabbing on to Inuyasha for support.

“I suppose I'm not going to be able to change if I can't even stand up on my own.”

“It'll pass, Kagome, you're just in shock, that's all…so am I.” Inuyasha said, looking away at the last bit, and for the first time, Kagome noticed how pale Inuyasha's face was, with such dark circles around his eyes, and she thought that perhaps it had been hard on him too, knowing that she had the strength to do such a thing to herself.

However, there was something that she just had to know.

“Inuyasha…what would you have done…if you hadn't made it in time?” Kagome asked, leaning her head against his chest.

His eyes widened in surprise at both her action and her question.

“Kagome…” Inuyasha's eyes filled with such concern and sorrow that Kagome leaned back a little in shock. “…I don't know what I'd do without you.” He said as he squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped her in a warm embrace.

I have been good

I understood

Like a machine they'll

Fix you from the start

Kagome felt a little stronger after he released her from his hold, and she asked Inuyasha to leave the room while she got changed.

What am I supposed to do? He seems so…gentle now, or at least while I'm a little screwed up…but will it go back to the beginning as soon as I'm better?

She began talking to herself quietly as she slipped into a pair of pajamas.

“Inuyasha…I just don't know what to think…I suppose I don't blame you at all for what you said, because I know that you at least are sorry…I wish I understood you more…I wish you would talk to me more…and I wish that you would…kiss and hug me more…make me feel loved…” she trailed off and looked up, mortified, because Inuyasha was standing in her doorway, looking at her with an odd expression on his face.

Kagome immediately sat down on her bed, and looked away.

Unfortunately for her pride, he sat down right next to her and stared at his doubting love.

Maybe if I want anything I'll have to give a little to him first. She thought, with a new light. What if all these months he had been waiting for her to move first?

“Is that what you really thi-“ started Inuyasha, but was cut off when she turned around and threw herself on him, squeezing him as close as she could, with so much force that he fell backwards on to the bed.

“Kagome…” he said, clearly surprised, and for once, he did not return her hug, just lay there like she had so many times, and closed his eyes, with his hair around his face like a pillow.

At that moment he looked more tired than Kagome had ever known him to be, and once more she pitied him and the hard life he led.

“We both live hard lives, don't we Inuyasha…” she said softly, stroking his cheek.

I'm in repair

The life that we share

I know that I'll be lost in

But we're always in repair

“But we're both here for each other…aren't we?” she murmured, still gently rubbing his face, around where his ear would have been had he been human.

He reached up and grabbed her hand, squeezing it with a surprisingly strong grip.

“I'll be alright…as long as you keep living for me…” he said quietly, and Kagome started to think that maybe, things could turn out all right.

Author's Notes…

WOW! That took me a looooooooong time!!!!! *Ahem* a few announcements…

I dedicate all fluffy moments to my cousin, who is a HUGE FAN OF MY WORK ISN'T THAT RIGHT!!!!!!!!

If you guys don't review, then I won't know what you think and that aint good, cuz then I wont know if there's even a point to writing this wonderful fanfiction!

Anyway, I hope you all have thouroughly enjoyed this, and I will start work on the next chapter!