InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Spring Fever ❯ His Solitude ( Chapter 21 )

A/N: Even if you hate these things, please read the author's note at the end of this chapter. It's more detailed than this one. :P

 

P.S. Don't hate me...

 

Chapter 21

 

His Solitude

 

Apparently the Jewel was not needed again, because a year had passed now since the well last functioned to allow Sesshomaru back into his own time.

 

A whole year, and still he awoke in his o-shiro after a long dream about a particular woman. Not that he was complaining, he actually slept every other night now because of them.

 

He rolled over, allowing the sunlight to warm his face, and sighed. It had been a good dream. He'd have to find a one night stand to get those thoughts out of his head. He had resorted to as much several times before, but no one was good enough. No woman could match the one lodged so comfortably in his mind, and after so many months he would feel rather immature refusing to admit that she was there to stay. He had already come to terms with the fact that he missed her being around, and at this rate he was more than determined to survive five hundred years to see her again.

 

“M, good morning,” came a sultry voice.

 

Sesshomaru slowly sat up and looked over, the sheets sliding down his naked torso and into his lap. “You are dismissed,” he informed the demoness he had bedded the night before. She was a wolf demon, but they were not related closely enough in species to conceive an heir.

 

Still, some females had the audacity to dream.

 

“Now, now,” she pouted, stalking closer to the bed and slowly beginning to fold open her kimono once more. “No need for such a tone.”

 

She stopped suddenly when his demon energy flared dangerously from his body. “Do not forfeit your life over my needing to repeat myself.”

 

She fully dressed while he remained in bed, daydreaming of things other than lordship duties, and stormed off and out of the room. She had black hair like he remembered, but that was all that was similar... He wondered how much her human self had changed in a year. Was her hair longer? Was womanhood settling in the curves of her body?

 

“Graceful, Sesshomaru...”

 

He lifted his arm off his eyes to see his mother, then lowered it again to ignore her.

 

“Dear, why not seek a mate in China?” she inquired with a sigh from the doorway. “Certainly these women are nothing worth your time. They apparently are not even worth keeping as consorts.”

 

“Indeed not,” he replied. Their bodies soothed the needs of his, but nothing more. It was a temporary solution to a long term issue. Perhaps finding a crude-mannered inu in China would be best, but he really didn't want to go through the hassle of mate hunting yet; he simply had no desire to. Consorts would be useful though...

 

Sesshomaru listened as his mother's hand swished through the air, dismissing the servants who trailed her, and slid the door shut. Her feet padded closer, and with a sigh she sat on the edge of his elevated bed. She sighed at him a lot of late. “Dear, I-”

 

“I do not wish to hear it,” he growled.

 

“- can not help but think that you have already chosen a mate.”

 

This time he did look at her. “Ridiculous. If so, she would be here,” he lowered his arm again, “and I would be doing better things than entertaining your inquiries.”

 

“Well, one would certainly hope,” his mother replied softly with a forlorn note. “I do plan to see at least a dozen grandchildren by the time I die.”

 

Sesshomaru smirked. He wondered if that many would drive a certain miko further into insanity... Not that he sought her as a mate, he just sought her. Which, really, did not make a wit of sense.

 

His mother made a face. “I know there is someone on your mind. You will not find consorts because you want no one wooing you, and you will not find inus because they would bear you your first child. So who is she?”

 

Like hell he'd admit that much. He simply wasn't interested in a mate, he just wanted her company.

 

“She is a human?”

 

He sighed this time. “She does not exist.”

 

“You killed her then?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then she lives in a different time?”

 

He glared at her from under his arm.

 

“Do not underestimate your mother,” the insufferable woman scolded him.

 

“The thought never crossed my mind,” he replied, dragging himself from bed.

 

“My kami, have the decency to dress!” she barked when the sheets fell from his person.

 

He stretched, not minding her discomfort in the least. It was only his backside anyway. “Admire your work, mother,” he joked.

 

She now had on a bored expression as he threw on a yukata and tied it sloppily but sufficiently shut.

 

“Where are you off to dressed like that?” she inquire.

 

“To bathe,” he informed. He needed to wash the smell of wolf from himself. Walking out and snapping his fingers once had half the maids fall in behind to service him. “Be sure to notify me of anything you fail to attend to, mother.”

 

The bath was nice, but all it proved to do was cleanse and give him time to sulk inside. He didn't know that what Sheng referred to as purgatory could extend into the past and last.

 

“Chiro,” came a voice, which Sesshomaru recognized as belonging to his mother's main maid.

 

“Yes?” asked the pretty brown haired girl attending to Sesshomaru at the moment.

 

“Come.”

 

She left. Damn. They had been having a good conversation too.

 

The rest of that day was uneventful. After spending time with Sheng and taking care of treaties, Sesshomaru ended up visiting Rin at the revived demon slayer's village. He was an infrequent oddity there, but most of the slayers who came from other villages tolerated his presence.

 

“Lord Sesshomaru!” the slightly taller girl cheered, hopping off a porch where she was talking to Kohaku and running for him. Sesshomaru smiled at the child he had come to think of as a daughter, and didn't mind her jumping at him with an embrace. He'd have raised her himself, but to do such would guarantee a hard life for her as a human. “Lord Sesshomaru! I'm starting to take lessons!”

 

“Oh?” he asked. She eagerly showed him the tiny wooden version of a katana at her hip, and began to spar with Kohaku. Sesshomaru smiled inside. It reminded him of that day a tad more than a year ago, just involving different people. Rin had become the ward of the village a week after she arrived with Kohaku, mostly because everyone loved her within that time. She was welcome to stay in any residence any night she wished, and since Sango was a new mother she made rotations amongst different families, usually amongst the ones with children her age. She preferred Kohaku's presence though.

 

Sesshomaru stayed until sunset and gave Rin a little blue kimono to celebrate her birthday in. It was still a week off, but she loved presents.

 

By the time he returned home there was something different. The servants didn't allow their sights to linger on him, and it was so obvious that it was unnerving. What was the sudden change?

 

“Ah, Sesshomaru!” his mother greeted him when he walked past the room she occupied with Shu Fang. “Do be sure to appreciate the gift in your room, dear. It was rather hard to prepare.”

 

... A gift? He never received a 'gift' from that woman in his entire life; which was exceptionally long. He was suspicious when he opened the door to his room, but there was no artifact. Instead, something shifted on his bed.

 

“Chiro?” he asked, looking at the shy inu youth. She was barely old enough to begin searching for a mate, so why was she here?

 

“My lord,” she greeted, quickly lowering her barely clad self into a formal bow on the floor. She was dressed, but in sheer silks which hid nothing.

 

“Chiro, what are you doing here?” he asked. “Get some proper clothes on, your mother will be wanting you back soon.”

 

“My mother has approved of what has transpired,” the girl replied, facing the floor still. “I am here for your delight, my lord.”

 

His brow furrowed, and stepping closer he ordered the girl to stand. She did, and unfolding her robe revealed a vertical pink scar running from her dark lower hairline to her bellybutton, and the sight angered him.

 

“My lord?” the girl inquired, watching him leave his own room in a fit of rage.

 

“Mother!” he yelled while she took another sip of tea. Shu Fang decided to stay out of this verbal transaction by averting her eyes. “What abomination have you created!”

 

“Oh, do not call her that,” she scolded. “I felt bad even calling her a gift.”

 

He leveled a glare at her. How dare she take away that child's life for him? “What have you done?”

 

She looked at him with her head slightly cocked to the side, as though confused that he should be angry. “I have given my son a remarkable gift! A sterile bed partner is what every young lord could use when in your shoes. ... She did not mind, I made sure of that.”

 

“You mean you ordered her to not mind?” he asked, slamming his hands on the table. For some reason he knew his accusation was off, but he really wanted to vent. His actions would seem odd, royalty giving a damn about what happened to a servant, but he did.

 

His mother made small tuts. “Temper, temper.” She lowered her voice so that even he was hard pressed to hear her. “No wonder that human refused you.”

 

“My Lord!” the captain of the guard yelled when Sesshomaru seized his mother by the neck. Shu Fang took the sight in stride with a sip of tea.

 

“You cannot change what happened,” the woman in his grip told him with a croak, nails inserting themselves into his hand and arm. “Do not make her sacrifice useless.”

 

...

 

She was right...

 

His mother took a long haul of breath when she was deposited to the ground.

 

“Do something like this again,” he began, refusing to look at her. “And your life is mine.”

 

She began to laugh dryly at him as he left. She laughed because she had won.

 

Sesshomaru didn't bed Chiro that night. Nor the night after. He felt like her forced sterility was his fault. Eventually though, they unofficially mated, and it became a regular activity, but neither of them saw the other as anything but friends. They talked more often than not, and after another year of the well refusing to function Sesshomaru let slip the miko.

 

“What's she like?” Chiro asked, lounging comfortably in full nude on his bed. He was reading some finer detail squabble from natives about the eastern islands being occupied by the birds, but she got him to stop easily enough. She sneaked a hand familiarly under his collar, stroking his chest with small patterns. Her full attentions felt nothing like the accidental touch the miko had given him before they kissed, and were nothing in comparison. It was welcomed nonetheless though, let alone expected from a consort.

 

“She is the most annoying person which fate decided to grace me with,” he answered simply, setting the scroll aside.

 

“You lie,” Chiro giggled, her knee teasing its way between his. Her yellow eyes were vivid against her dark locks.

 

“It would be nice if I were,” he replied, watching her face disappear as she began planting kisses up his neck. No flames ignited through his veins at her touch...

 

“Fine then,” she continued between kisses, now sucking his earlobe. He hated that... “What did she look like?”

 

He frowned. He didn't know where to begin. “She has dark blue eyes, which capture the highlight of her hair.”

 

“And?” Chiro puffed into his ear, giggling when he had to rub it.

 

“She is fair skinned, and blushes easily...”

 

“Go on,” she whispered, making him close his eyes by kissing them. Her fingers brushed his chest lightly, but it didn't tickle. “I want you to imagine her.”

 

“You want something of your lord?”

 

“Yes,” she replied, her seemingly cool breath hitting his cheek when she cupped his face and kissed him.

 

No kiss was ever the same...

 

“Her facial expressions were phenomenal,” he continued when Chiro moved on. “Especially when she was surprised, or affronted. Her anger was the best.”

 

“All being your doing?” she asked, her hand stroking his side under his clothing. He almost felt numb to her, like his body refused to acknowledge her touch.

 

“Usually,” he replied, smirking at the memories. “Well, preferably.”

 

“You must have made her life hell,” his consort commented, licking up the middle of his chest and failing to summon the growls he gave while dreaming.

 

“Do unto others,” was all he said to that.

 

He sighed.

 

“I know that sigh,” Chiro stated, stopping her attentions on him.

 

“I know you know that sigh.”

 

She smiled. “I believe you are a tad obsessed, my lord.”

 

“Obsessed?”

 

Chiro nodded. “Think about it. It has been two years, and you sigh like that daily.”

 

She had a point. One he pondered out for another two years and some months. She was wrong, it was more than daily...

 

“Do we bore you, my lord?”

 

Sesshomaru, who was currently staring at the table, looked up. The council members were still there, he wasn't in the shrine in the future.

 

“Continue,” he ordered, doing his best to stay focused while Sheng and Shu Fang smirked over his little emotional crisis. His mind had a greater tendency to wander of late, which made for the intriguing rumor that he was lovesick. What a ridiculous notion... Still, four years had passed... And he thought he could go for five hundred without any mental taxation. The seasons seemed to have slowed in their passing, and every second that went by was noticed. It was like listening to the snow fall outside, which it did in ample amounts. Every flake was insignificant, but it added to the weight which the ground had to bear. He was done with bearing time.

 

Within five minutes of the council continuing their discussion on a boarder shift, whether they wanted a new village which was intersecting it or give it over to the north, Sesshomaru began muddling in his thoughts again.

 

“Dear,” his mother addressed him. He looked up again, blinking away the sight of blue eyes to see the woman in the council room. “Come with me, please.”

 

Freedom...

 

He stood, the council bowing to him, and left.

 

“Son,” his mother began, sighing. “You need to either find her, or find someone else.”

 

After four years, he was done pretending that she didn't know his secret. “Impossible.”

 

“Can you?” she asked. He glared at her, and she sighed. “You are so much like your father... Oh, stop that awful growling, you are not an animal.”

 

She certainly knew how to get on his nerves.

 

“I just have to know. Did she ever love you, son? I cannot bear to think that all of this is for something unrequited.”

 

... That was a cruel and random question. Despite that, he could only roll his shoulders in reply. She had been very shy and standoffish about the minimal contact they had so long ago, but that would change.

 

She gave him a flat stare. “I stand corrected. You are your father...”

 

“Better him than a fool.”

 

“Oh, but a fool you are,” she replied. “Human lives are short and needy. She has probably found someone else by now.”

 

He thought as much. An insurmountable amount of times. He refused to believe it though.

 

There was a set of running feet then, and the two of them turned to look curiously at a guard.

 

“My Lord!” the messenger exclaimed, bowing. He stood and continued. “A scout has reported!”

 

“A scout?” Sesshomaru's mother asked incredulously. “Sesshomaru, we have scouts set out??”

 

“Where is he?” Sesshomaru demanded. He headed to the soldier's location within the o-shiro immediately.

 

“Lord Sesshomaru!” the scout, who happened to be a woman, yelled when she saw him. She looked completely worn out from her travels back to the castle. “By the village. A miko suddenly appeared by the village!”

 

“A miko?!” his mother shrieked, somewhat horrified. “SESSHOMARU!!”

 

Despite being in full transformation and flying off now, Sesshomaru managed a smile. Was it her? Perhaps she was not in the village any longer? Traveling such a distance would take the scout at least three days, if she ran. She could have moved on by then.

 

In an hour Sesshomaru was there, transforming to his normal appearance to walk into the village. Tenseiga hummed at his master's hip, the Shikon no Tama sparkling within the scabbard. It was quite the relief that Bashamon's binding was transferred to a fixated and untouchable series of sutras, at the cost of being strengthened every month. Priests created the binding papers, but Sesshomaru was the one to strengthen them. That was fine, he didn't mind a monthly visit to gage Bashamon's slow decent into insanity.

 

“Ah, Sesshomaru-sama.”

 

It was an elder who greeted him, the little sister of Kikyo. They watched as a young villager woman dropped her things and grabbed her child to run away. Sure the village miko was facing a demon, but her bow was slung harmlessly and neither were frowning.

 

“May I ask what draws you here, lord?” the elder inquired, completely at ease around him.

 

“Has a foreign miko visited?” he asked discretely.

 

The old woman blinked at him. “That would depend on what you mean by 'foreign'.”

 

“One who does not live here.”

 

She nodded then, and it felt like his heart made an acrobatic movement. “She has already taken her leave though. Do you know of the Slayer's Village between here and those mountains?”

 

Sesshomaru followed the pointed finger. He knew it well. Rin had already celebrated her eleventh year there.

 

But... Despite himself, he had to be sure. “Does the miko go by the name Kagome?”

 

The elder smiled, which seemed an infrequent expression on her face. “That she does.”

 

He was gone by the time she smiled.

 

Kagome. Kagome was here. In this time. Now. It was odd how happy he felt.

 

Tenseiga pulsed at Sesshomaru's side, still bearing the essence of the Shikon no Tama. The sword had been wanting to be rid of the Jewel for some time now, but no one could remove it. Well, Sesshomaru had a feeling no one could remove it.

 

As the sun tilted closer towards the horizon the snow began to fall again, raining silently in the woods. It was fine though, he had caught her scent already. Although he was delighted by the smell of her, he was confused. There were pheromones laced through the air, and he found himself angered that they had been summoned without him in her presence.

 

Not that he should be. She wasn't going to be his mate or anything.

 

For some reason his anger spiked when he sensed his half brother nearby, and approaching a clearing the red glare of fire rat fur had him stop.

 

Tenseiga pulsed, feeling a tad nervous. He ignored it and focused through the snow. If not for her black hair, he would have missed seeing the miko. She was wrapped in the hanyou's arms, and was pulling her face back from his...

 

Sesshomaru didn't know what to think. Mentally, he told himself that she was free to kiss whomever she wished, for she was indeed in her prime now. Emotionally though, he was thrown from some high pinnacle he didn't know he stood on.

 

“I'm sorry,” he heard her slightly deeper voice whisper to the hanyou. “I had to be sure of something.”

 

Sesshomaru... He didn't want to be there. He didn't know why either, but he had to go. He couldn't look at her, he felt too... Angry? He was mad? ... No, it wasn't anger... Some of it was...

 

Tenseiga tugged at his sash, and he glared at the blade. Grabbing the sheath he removed the sword from his sash, dropped it, and left. He was done with it. He hadn't used it for four years, and had sought being rid of the Shikon no Tama which only the miko could utilize now.

 

Inuyasha turned around at the noise, and Sesshomaru was gone. He was miles away before his mind began to work again, and he didn't like what it was telling him.

 

He was sad. That was the emotion. He was extremely sad, and it was twisted with treachery. Neither of those made any sense though. He should have been happy to see her. He was happy to see her. But he didn't want to see that... What did he want to see then? It wasn't as though he loved her...

 

He simply couldn't...

 

...

 

...

 

... Could he?

 

A/N: THIS IS NOT THE END!!! I hope everyone read that. Read the bottom for details.

 

For whatever reason (of which there are a variety) I'm sorry if you feel like the fanfic is going to suddenly be boring/depressing/not worth your time/done; because those feelings are an utter lie. Like hell I'd let that happen, I have spent TOO much time on this to have it turn to crap. If anything, I'm going to make the next part better. And yes, I said next part, for this one is now over. Yes, you read correctly. I do NOT want to have a sixty chapter story, so I'm making the next part as a sequel.

 

Why? ... Because I could. Hah. :P

 

One of the main reasons, actually, is because the POV is changing over to a familiar miko. :D I feel I'm better at women point of views (as it is I am one...) but don't worry, switching over won't alter the pleasure of them interacting in a bad way. Hopefully, it'll be better.

 

So, yes! Look for chapter 'twenty two' under Midwinter Dream in my stories section! I hope to not break up stories again, and the only reason I do would be for story length. I hate long stories. I don't care how many reviews it gets, if it's over twenty chapters I usually skip reading it, so there is a sequel now! Besides, for those of you wanting a break, here it is! Take it!