InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Stick to the plan ❯ Contigency ( Chapter 7 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: KagomeReborn 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological / Fantasy / Hentai / Drama | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 01.23.2012 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 528 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological / Fantasy / Hentai / Drama | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 01.23.2012 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 528 | Status: Completed
Contingency
We grow accustomed to the Dark --When light is put away --As when the Neighbor holds the LampTo witness her Goodbye --
~~~
Why won’t You Die
~~~~
I don’t understand why I must be forced to continue this existence while that sniveling girl walks around living, breathing, laughing, enjoying the moments only I deserve to have. Now this sudden spike of power, this morphing of her soul. One moment calm, and sickeningly pure only to in the blink of an eye turn dark, overwhelming as it constricts those around it calling to them, commanding them…warning them but for what? I do not know for as soon as one begins to decipher it becomes a crushing wind, a burning fire that only recedes with your submission and retreat.
This can only be the work of the Shikon no Kaera. Such a pathetic miko as her could never remain uninfluenced by the dark power lurking within…. And yet I almost cannot fault her. There was once a time when I was susceptible to a kind word, a touch, a look from a handsome man. But long before I ever met Inuyasha my heart had begun to harden and my outlook jaded. From the time the Shikon no Tama was turned over to me my life as a young vibrant woman ended along with any dreams associated.
I have watched this woman-child bounce back where I could not. Watched her love and mourn and grow where I only became bitter. And for that I hate her. I am glad she was the one so close as the time of my summoning. It pleased me that one of my bloodline would suffer the burden as I did. That I wasn’t sole chosen and it made it nobler. If only she had given in and just died then her suffering would have been less, but no instead she fought and struggled and the most sickening part is that she still had pity for me. After all those moments I tried to kill her, to bring Inuyasha to hell with me. After all those times she found him in my embrace, she never found the will to hate me. The tug of her soul trying to heal me from within so that I would find peace is insufferable.
Naraku, the being that sealed my fate, that corrupted my heart fully so that my soul could not pass over, and all so he could taint the Shikon no Tama for his purposes. I knew him once... Loved him once. When he was a broken ragdoll in a cave, locked away from the world where I could pretend not to notice the hunger in his eyes, though it stirred me inside. I did not realize the dangerous game, I had been playing. The consequences of toying with the heart of such a twisted soul. I knew his darkness even before he was Naraku, when he was still just Onigumo. I knew the story of how he got to be broken and ended up in that cave. I knew because I was partly the reason why.
But now is not the time to reminisce, I must make an appearance. Naraku is attacking, and I can hear Inuyasha’s outbursts from here and it seems that the little replacement has gotten herself in too deep… Not that I would care normally, but I can no longer feel the Shikon no Karera …
~~~~~~~
A Moment -- We uncertain stepFor newness of the night --Then -- fit our Vision to the Dark --And meet the Road -- erect –
~~~~~
Kagome ducked out of the way as another one of the appendages flew her way. She hit the ground hard and tumbled catching glimpse of Inuyasha as he dashed forward claws bared, slashing through the thick flesh of the tentacle. She pushed herself up fast, not noting how much faster her recovery time was now. Focusing her mind again on the task at hand, she concentrated on discerning whether Naraku was actually showing himself or it was just a stronger puppet as she suspected. She felt her soul tug and realized her previous stunt must have been enough to cause Kikyou to finally come out of hiding. Smiling she ran back towards the fight as Sango and Miroku entered the clearing.
Her smile did not last long was three tentacles lashed out of the woods aiming straight towards her. She cried out dodging the first trying to purify one and stay clear of the other two. Inuyasha tried to hack his way towards her, but she had miscounted in her distraction of trying to sense Sesshomaru’s distance to them. Kagome managed to purify the one coming right at her head only to be impaled through the back of her right shoulder blade by the second.
The pain coursing through her body hazed her mind, as she fought to focus on purifying it too, as the third tentacle wrapped around her and swiftly started pulling her back into the forest.
Kagome heard the screams of Sango as she cried out, flinging her boomerang in hopes of severing the hold , only for Naraku’s puppet to block it with a wall of tentacles twisting in and out like veins. The miasma filled the area singling Naraku trying to cover his tracks. Inuyasha yelled out as he was staked to a tree by two tentacles. Miroku limited to use of his seals and staff since, he feared consuming Kagome in his wind tunnel.
Kagome watched the scene before in morbid fascination, as they struggled to rescue her. The pain and blood loss was causing her to rapidly lose consciousness. The last thing her blurry eyes focused on was the glimpse of silver and amber orbs entering the clearing, as she was lost into the canopy.
Overhead she could hear the sound of one of Naraku’s minions making their appearance to her fading group. She let the darkness overtake her and listened to the whispers as they started again. The whispers, which lived behind her lashes in the darkness of her mind. The whispered that had been waiting, that had helped her come this far. That had shown her this plan and given her the option to take it, to rebuild herself. She mulled over her last thought before the whispers took over.
‘I’m Sorry… I wasn’t ready. This wasn’t your plan was it? I guess it’s a good thing I had always decided to stick to mine. I think it’s mine. All these voices I don’t know anymore but I know it’s started and there’s no turning back… Will you forgive me Sensei. If or when next we meet it’s you that learns a lesson? I hope so.’
~~~~~~~
And so of larger -- Darkness --Those Evenings of the Brain --When not a Moon disclose a sign --Or Star -- come out -- within --
~~~~~~
How can see run along beside me now like nothing happened? I don’t understand how she is able to put up with this. Why did she take it? Why didn’t she fight me, scream at me … anything. I wish she would have done anything other than look at me with those eyes.
Those eyes so tender. Her words so meek. How many times did I dream of her lying underneath me on the forest floor calling out to me with tender expressions? Why is it that I can only hear them this way? Why will she not even give me the satisfaction of my anger!
Now is not the time to think of this, because of my actions, our actions we’ve lost Kagome again. Kagome… Why? Why did you bring Sango to me that night? Did you really think you could still fix it? Did you not know what would happen when you left me with the maid? Are you still so innocent after everything, so desperate to find the good in us that you were still willing to try and make it right?
Your purity burns me and I wish you could just give in as I have so I would be able to share this grief with you. That kiss, the kiss we shared, did it mean something? Why didn’t you stop it? So gentle and kind. A miko, devoted to love and healing. As a monk I should have chosen you. But instead I was chained to the desires of conquering Sango. So fierce, independent, hands sullied by the blood of others. But am I any better? Have I not sinned? Have I not killed? Is this what I deserve?
I just don’t know but I have stumbled and can’t seem to get back up. I use to have a goal, a plan. Defeat Naraku and in the meantime make sure I sired a heir just in case, I failed so that my line continued. When did that change? When did I forget that I wasn’t suppose to care. That the world was tough and you had to take what you could, use every opportunity to your advantage and not stop for the victims less you become one yourself.
Yes that was the plan. I can regain my old self. If Sango wants to be a whore, then a whore she shall be… that’s fine but she will no longer deny me. I will no longer walk on eggshells, throwing the preverbal blossoms at her feet when her place is on her knees.
Yes, I will rid her from my body like a fever that needs to be sweated out.
~~~~~
The Bravest -- grope a little --And sometimes hit a TreeDirectly in the Forehead --But as they learn to see –
~~~~
‘I have let her down again. Every move I make I prove myself more horrible as a friend to her. If not for my weakness I would have had the strength to throw the Hiraikotsu at its full speed and saved her. My weakness, yes my weakness with Inuyasha, as a person caused me to turn the man I love into a monster. A monster that could do to me what he did. Because of my transgression, I was too weak to help my friend.
My friend? Do I even have the right to call her that now? I don’t I am not worthy of being in the same category as her. Oh Kagome! How could I have failed you again?! And to add insult to injury you have fallen right into the hands of the Devil himself and Kikyo has joined us as if she could ever replace you.
But she is helping us to search for you, though I don’t know why and she will not tell us her reasons. She is a hindrance, but if we can trade her for you then it will be worth it. Hopefully Naraku will still harbor that obsession for her and she can use her as bait. She reeks of death with those lifeless eyes of her. The only enjoyable part if you can call it that is that Sesshomaru kills her soul bearers every time they come near causing her to have to leave camp to feed.
Sesshomaru… yes he has joined us again and the rage he came to us in was beyond words. The fight between Inuyasha and him would have surely ended in Inu’s death, if Kikyo had not appeared then. Sesshomaru blamed Inuyasha’s incompetence for your abduction, but would not explain himself when asked why he cared or was there. He just broke off into the miasma and we followed soon after in a dead run. It’s been that way ever since. Two days have passed and still no sign of you. Where are you?’
~~~~~~
Either the Darkness alters --Or something in the sightAdjusts itself to Midnight --And Life steps almost straight.
~^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
a/n: Ello all, I know I’ve left you with more questions probably but there was anything else I wanted to add to this chapter and to continue would force me to combine two chapters in one which would delay me posting and I really don’t want to get overwhelmed and not update. Thanks to my new Beta Maryse and thank you to all that reviewed.
KagomeReborn out
Poem by Emily Dickinson- We grow accustomed to the dark
Converting /tmp/phpSSehwk to /dev/stdout
We grow accustomed to the Dark --When light is put away --As when the Neighbor holds the LampTo witness her Goodbye --
~~~
Why won’t You Die
~~~~
I don’t understand why I must be forced to continue this existence while that sniveling girl walks around living, breathing, laughing, enjoying the moments only I deserve to have. Now this sudden spike of power, this morphing of her soul. One moment calm, and sickeningly pure only to in the blink of an eye turn dark, overwhelming as it constricts those around it calling to them, commanding them…warning them but for what? I do not know for as soon as one begins to decipher it becomes a crushing wind, a burning fire that only recedes with your submission and retreat.
This can only be the work of the Shikon no Kaera. Such a pathetic miko as her could never remain uninfluenced by the dark power lurking within…. And yet I almost cannot fault her. There was once a time when I was susceptible to a kind word, a touch, a look from a handsome man. But long before I ever met Inuyasha my heart had begun to harden and my outlook jaded. From the time the Shikon no Tama was turned over to me my life as a young vibrant woman ended along with any dreams associated.
I have watched this woman-child bounce back where I could not. Watched her love and mourn and grow where I only became bitter. And for that I hate her. I am glad she was the one so close as the time of my summoning. It pleased me that one of my bloodline would suffer the burden as I did. That I wasn’t sole chosen and it made it nobler. If only she had given in and just died then her suffering would have been less, but no instead she fought and struggled and the most sickening part is that she still had pity for me. After all those moments I tried to kill her, to bring Inuyasha to hell with me. After all those times she found him in my embrace, she never found the will to hate me. The tug of her soul trying to heal me from within so that I would find peace is insufferable.
Naraku, the being that sealed my fate, that corrupted my heart fully so that my soul could not pass over, and all so he could taint the Shikon no Tama for his purposes. I knew him once... Loved him once. When he was a broken ragdoll in a cave, locked away from the world where I could pretend not to notice the hunger in his eyes, though it stirred me inside. I did not realize the dangerous game, I had been playing. The consequences of toying with the heart of such a twisted soul. I knew his darkness even before he was Naraku, when he was still just Onigumo. I knew the story of how he got to be broken and ended up in that cave. I knew because I was partly the reason why.
But now is not the time to reminisce, I must make an appearance. Naraku is attacking, and I can hear Inuyasha’s outbursts from here and it seems that the little replacement has gotten herself in too deep… Not that I would care normally, but I can no longer feel the Shikon no Karera …
~~~~~~~
A Moment -- We uncertain stepFor newness of the night --Then -- fit our Vision to the Dark --And meet the Road -- erect –
~~~~~
Kagome ducked out of the way as another one of the appendages flew her way. She hit the ground hard and tumbled catching glimpse of Inuyasha as he dashed forward claws bared, slashing through the thick flesh of the tentacle. She pushed herself up fast, not noting how much faster her recovery time was now. Focusing her mind again on the task at hand, she concentrated on discerning whether Naraku was actually showing himself or it was just a stronger puppet as she suspected. She felt her soul tug and realized her previous stunt must have been enough to cause Kikyou to finally come out of hiding. Smiling she ran back towards the fight as Sango and Miroku entered the clearing.
Her smile did not last long was three tentacles lashed out of the woods aiming straight towards her. She cried out dodging the first trying to purify one and stay clear of the other two. Inuyasha tried to hack his way towards her, but she had miscounted in her distraction of trying to sense Sesshomaru’s distance to them. Kagome managed to purify the one coming right at her head only to be impaled through the back of her right shoulder blade by the second.
The pain coursing through her body hazed her mind, as she fought to focus on purifying it too, as the third tentacle wrapped around her and swiftly started pulling her back into the forest.
Kagome heard the screams of Sango as she cried out, flinging her boomerang in hopes of severing the hold , only for Naraku’s puppet to block it with a wall of tentacles twisting in and out like veins. The miasma filled the area singling Naraku trying to cover his tracks. Inuyasha yelled out as he was staked to a tree by two tentacles. Miroku limited to use of his seals and staff since, he feared consuming Kagome in his wind tunnel.
Kagome watched the scene before in morbid fascination, as they struggled to rescue her. The pain and blood loss was causing her to rapidly lose consciousness. The last thing her blurry eyes focused on was the glimpse of silver and amber orbs entering the clearing, as she was lost into the canopy.
Overhead she could hear the sound of one of Naraku’s minions making their appearance to her fading group. She let the darkness overtake her and listened to the whispers as they started again. The whispers, which lived behind her lashes in the darkness of her mind. The whispered that had been waiting, that had helped her come this far. That had shown her this plan and given her the option to take it, to rebuild herself. She mulled over her last thought before the whispers took over.
‘I’m Sorry… I wasn’t ready. This wasn’t your plan was it? I guess it’s a good thing I had always decided to stick to mine. I think it’s mine. All these voices I don’t know anymore but I know it’s started and there’s no turning back… Will you forgive me Sensei. If or when next we meet it’s you that learns a lesson? I hope so.’
~~~~~~~
And so of larger -- Darkness --Those Evenings of the Brain --When not a Moon disclose a sign --Or Star -- come out -- within --
~~~~~~
How can see run along beside me now like nothing happened? I don’t understand how she is able to put up with this. Why did she take it? Why didn’t she fight me, scream at me … anything. I wish she would have done anything other than look at me with those eyes.
Those eyes so tender. Her words so meek. How many times did I dream of her lying underneath me on the forest floor calling out to me with tender expressions? Why is it that I can only hear them this way? Why will she not even give me the satisfaction of my anger!
Now is not the time to think of this, because of my actions, our actions we’ve lost Kagome again. Kagome… Why? Why did you bring Sango to me that night? Did you really think you could still fix it? Did you not know what would happen when you left me with the maid? Are you still so innocent after everything, so desperate to find the good in us that you were still willing to try and make it right?
Your purity burns me and I wish you could just give in as I have so I would be able to share this grief with you. That kiss, the kiss we shared, did it mean something? Why didn’t you stop it? So gentle and kind. A miko, devoted to love and healing. As a monk I should have chosen you. But instead I was chained to the desires of conquering Sango. So fierce, independent, hands sullied by the blood of others. But am I any better? Have I not sinned? Have I not killed? Is this what I deserve?
I just don’t know but I have stumbled and can’t seem to get back up. I use to have a goal, a plan. Defeat Naraku and in the meantime make sure I sired a heir just in case, I failed so that my line continued. When did that change? When did I forget that I wasn’t suppose to care. That the world was tough and you had to take what you could, use every opportunity to your advantage and not stop for the victims less you become one yourself.
Yes that was the plan. I can regain my old self. If Sango wants to be a whore, then a whore she shall be… that’s fine but she will no longer deny me. I will no longer walk on eggshells, throwing the preverbal blossoms at her feet when her place is on her knees.
Yes, I will rid her from my body like a fever that needs to be sweated out.
~~~~~
The Bravest -- grope a little --And sometimes hit a TreeDirectly in the Forehead --But as they learn to see –
~~~~
‘I have let her down again. Every move I make I prove myself more horrible as a friend to her. If not for my weakness I would have had the strength to throw the Hiraikotsu at its full speed and saved her. My weakness, yes my weakness with Inuyasha, as a person caused me to turn the man I love into a monster. A monster that could do to me what he did. Because of my transgression, I was too weak to help my friend.
My friend? Do I even have the right to call her that now? I don’t I am not worthy of being in the same category as her. Oh Kagome! How could I have failed you again?! And to add insult to injury you have fallen right into the hands of the Devil himself and Kikyo has joined us as if she could ever replace you.
But she is helping us to search for you, though I don’t know why and she will not tell us her reasons. She is a hindrance, but if we can trade her for you then it will be worth it. Hopefully Naraku will still harbor that obsession for her and she can use her as bait. She reeks of death with those lifeless eyes of her. The only enjoyable part if you can call it that is that Sesshomaru kills her soul bearers every time they come near causing her to have to leave camp to feed.
Sesshomaru… yes he has joined us again and the rage he came to us in was beyond words. The fight between Inuyasha and him would have surely ended in Inu’s death, if Kikyo had not appeared then. Sesshomaru blamed Inuyasha’s incompetence for your abduction, but would not explain himself when asked why he cared or was there. He just broke off into the miasma and we followed soon after in a dead run. It’s been that way ever since. Two days have passed and still no sign of you. Where are you?’
~~~~~~
Either the Darkness alters --Or something in the sightAdjusts itself to Midnight --And Life steps almost straight.
~^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
a/n: Ello all, I know I’ve left you with more questions probably but there was anything else I wanted to add to this chapter and to continue would force me to combine two chapters in one which would delay me posting and I really don’t want to get overwhelmed and not update. Thanks to my new Beta Maryse and thank you to all that reviewed.
KagomeReborn out
Poem by Emily Dickinson- We grow accustomed to the dark
Converting /tmp/phpSSehwk to /dev/stdout