InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Stream of Consciousness: A LiveJournal Collection ❯ Practice Makes Perfect ( Chapter 41 )

Title: Practice Makes Perfect

Community: Iyhedonism

Theme: Pregnancy

Place Earned: 2nd

Genre: Comedy, Crack!fic

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 632

Warnings: MPreg, Crack

 

 

A/N - This story won 1st Place Best Yaoi/Yuri at Inuyasha Fan Guild for the 4th Quarter 2009. I was very surprised, but I guess people dig the MPreg! There's nothing explicit, but men don't get pregnant by sitting around and wishing for a baby…

 

Practice Makes Perfect

 

“What the hell happened to you two?!” Inuyasha yelled. Kouga and his two lackeys had shown up a few minutes ago, though perhaps “lackeys” wasn't the right word. That is, unless he was seeing things when he looked at their distended bellies. “Please tell me you just swallowed wild boars whole or something.”

 

“Nope!” Ginta shouted. “I'm carrying Kouga's baby!”

 

“No you're not! I'm carrying Kouga's baby!” Hakkaku replied.

 

“No, I am!”

 

“I am!”

 

“Girls! Girls!” Kouga interjected. “You're both carrying my baby,” he declared with a smug look. Finally he noticed every member of the Inu-gang staring slack-jawed at him. “What? Ain'tcha ever heard of a man getting pregnant?”

 

Silence.

 

“Stop staring at me like I'm some sorta alien!” Kouga growled. “Did you happen to notice how there are no women in my tribe? Well, it turns out there are no female wolf demons anywhere.** I know; I looked. Recently I met with an elder and he said this is how the wolf demon race has been reproducing for centuries, ever since the Great Period killed them all off. So it's perfectly natural!”

 

“H-how…” Kagome started to ask.

 

“Some of us don't want to know how, Kagome-sama,” Miroku interrupted. Kagome decided that she didn't really want to know either.

 

“Ok, so you've successfully creeped us out,” Inuyasha snarled. “Now beat it!”

 

“Nope. I need a favor.”

 

“Like hell I'm doing you a favor!” Seeing that the hanyou wasn't going to budge, Kouga turned to the miko. His woman would understand.

 

“Kagome, think about it. It's too dangerous for them to be on the road with me, and my tribe is constantly on the move. They need a good home where they can relax and make sure my pups are healthy!”

 

“Oh, no. You are not leaving them with us, you sneaky bastard!”

 

“But he's right, Inuyasha,” Kagome said. “Pregnant…er, men need to be careful. Too much stress can hurt the baby. They can stay at the village. I'm sure Kaede won't mind looking after them,” she mumbled, not really convinced.

 

“YAY!!!” both pregnant males cried at once.

 

“We're going to live with Kagome-neesan!”

 

“We're going to live with Kagome-neesan!”

 

“We're going to live with Kagome-neesan!”

 

Kagome hung her head. What the heck did I just do?

 

 

Three days later, Kagome was really looking forward to spending some time in her era, and she wasn't the only one.

 

“You want to come with me, Inuyasha?” she asked hopefully.

 

“Keh. Being with you is a hundred times better than listening to those damn whiny bitches all fucking day!”

 

Kagome's eyes narrowed. “Gee, thanks for the compliment,” she muttered sarcastically. But she definitely couldn't blame Inuyasha for wanting to get away. Just hearing their voices from off in the distance made her shudder. She felt bad for Miroku and Sango.

 

 

“Aw, why didn't Kaede-sama let us stay in her hut?”

 

“Yeah, why do we have to stay in this empty one by ourselves?”

 

Miroku's eyebrow twitched. It's because you two never shut up.

 

“Miroku-kun, my feet are sore,” Ginta whined. “Could you rub them for me?”

 

“No, my back is achy,” Hakkaku complained. “Rub that first!”

 

A momentary pause.

 

“WE'RE HUUUUNGRRYYYYYYYY…” they both groaned as one.

 

Turning to Sango, the monk found that she was already heading for the exit.

 

“You want to give me a hand here, Sango?”

 

“Sorry, Houshi-sama, but I really think you need to do this on your own. If I'm going to give you children someday, you need to learn how to take care of pregnant wom—er, things.” With that, she was gone, and Miroku was alone with the moaning males. Abandoned by my own bride to be! Ah, well. As they say, practice makes perfect. After this, you'd better give me lots and lots of children, Sango!

 

 

**This story is manga-only, so Ayame doesn't exist.