InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Stream of Consciousness: A LiveJournal Collection ❯ Go Now! ( Chapter 60 )

Title: Go Now!

Community: inucomedyclub

Theme: Dialogue Only

Place Earned: 1st

Genre: Humor

Universe: Canon-ish (characterization stretched a bit for humor's sake

Rating: R

Word count: 688

Warnings: language, sexual themes

 

 

Go Now!

 

“Go get her, Inuyasha.”

 

“No way, runt. That bitch has slammed my face into the ground for the last time! She can rot for all I care.”

 

“Is that why you're sitting here by the well pouting?”

 

“…”

 

“I thought so.”

 

“S-shut up or I'll pound you, twerp!”

 

“Please! You can't even muster the energy to scratch your own ass when Kagome's gone. You couldn't catch me if you tried!”

 

“Well why don't you run away and we'll find out.”

 

“Nope. If you don't want to be near me, go through the well. I can't follow you.”

 

“You're really getting on my nerves, you little shit stain.”

 

“You know, Inuyasha, you call me so many names, but at least I'm not a big pussy!”

 

“WHAT?!!!”

 

“You heard me!”

 

“You calling me a coward, Shippo? I'll fucking chop you in half!”

 

“Ooooh, big man with a big sword! Gonna chop up a little kid!”

 

“…”

 

“I wasn't talking about you being cowardly in battle, baka. You're incredibly brave when you fight, to the point of recklessness and stupidity even…”

 

“Hey!”

 

“…but you aren't afraid to fight.”

 

“Damn right.”

 

“You are, however, a complete chicken shit when it comes to women.”

 

“I am not!”

 

“You are!”

 

“I almost married Kikyou, you little asshole. How is that being a chicken shit?”

 

“Almost doesn't count. You two obviously weren't right for each other, but you're too stubborn and thickheaded to accept that.”

 

“Keh.”

 

“Oh, boy, here we go with that again. Any time someone says something you don't like but you know is true, you say `keh' and brush it off. Well, Inuyasha, why don't you face the truth like a man for a change?!”

 

“Why don't you leave me the fuck alone?”

 

“Ugh! Fine, pretend to stay in denial about Kikyou. But if a little kid like me can see the truth, then I know you can too.”

 

“Feh! `Cause you know so much about women…”

 

“More than you! I almost got to first base with that cute Satsuki girl, and then again with that fierce chick Souten, and then—”

 

“Ha! `Almost doesn't count,' runt.”

 

“It does when you're a little kid! I have plenty of time and opportunity to share intimate moments with the ladies—chicks dig the fox tail. What's your excuse, old man?”

 

“I—uh…it ain't important!”

 

“The hell it isn't! What's life if you can't share it with someone special one in awhile? The really sad part is that you could probably go get laid right now but you're too much of a pussy to take the plunge.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“Kagome, you insufferable baka! Not even you can fail to see how much she wants you.”

 

“…”

 

“Aha! I knew it! And I bet you want her just as much.”

 

“…”

 

“So what the hell is the problem?!”

 

“It's…complicated.”

 

“No, it really isn't. You want her, and she wants you. Go right now and give her what you both want.”

 

“Um…”

 

“Dammit, Inuyasha! You act like such a woman. Guys are supposed to be walking penises with brains attached. Let the women do the thinking about all that relationship shit! Tell Kagome how you feel, and if she doesn't think it's the best idea to go all the way right now, then that's fine. But you shouldn't be holding yourself back! Kagome loves you, man. Do you even realize what you're passing up here?!”

 

“…”

 

“Oh, I see it in your eyes. You want to go over there and make her scream your name over and over again.”

 

“…”

 

“You know she wants you to pluck her little flower, to take that virgin body of hers to places it's never been.”

 

“…”

 

“Come on, Inuyasha! Be a man! Man. Take. Woman. GO NOW!”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Holy crap, he actually went through the well! Hey, Miroku! It worked!”

 

“Good, Shippo. I heard the whole thing, and that was some amazing work.”

 

“Thanks. I still don't understand half of what you told me to say, but I guess Inuyasha did.”

 

“Oh, don't worry, Shippo. You will understand in time. All in good time.”