InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Suppression ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

WARNING! This chapter contains scenes of child sexual abuse that may be disturbing to some readers.

 

Chapter 6

 

“No,” Sesshoumaru stated firmly. His brother had just asked if the others of his group could join them.

 

“Come on, they might be able to help you with this. Miroku is a monk he knows all about meditation and shit. He might be able to help you remember more.”

 

“No,” Sesshoumaru repeated, “and if you ask again you can go back to them.”

 

Inuyasha frowned in annoyance as his sibling turned his back to him. The two were sitting in the pool below the falls. It was another hot day and the brother's were enjoying the cool water. That was until Inuyasha had suggested that his group be made aware of Sesshoumaru's problem.

 

Sesshoumaru was trying hard to keep himself distanced from his brother. He was beginning to enjoy having the hanyou around but was afraid that this peace between them wasn't going to last. Affection is dangerous. Affection is always followed by pain, the taiyoukai thought as he leaned back into the water. He'll leave. He'll go back to his friends and leave me alone.

 

Even as these new feelings of tenderness and fondness for the hanyou were sneaking past his defences and into his heart, the demon lord was afraid to love his own brother. To Sesshoumaru, love was completely unrecognizable and therefore unattainable. He actually felt completely unworthy of it and he began to feel depressed at his own thoughts.

 

Inuyasha dived into the pool hoping to clear his head. He had been shocked at what his brother had told him last night. Someone had done things, bad things to his brother when he was younger. He popped up out of the water, taking in a large breath of air. He had made it all the way across the pool and he sat on the other side looking towards the demon lord that was sitting so enigmatically. I just can't understand why someone would want to do those things to a kid. Maybe if he remembered who it was he could deal with it better.

 

Sesshoumaru hadn't gone into detail as to what had transpired in that room so long ago and Inuyasha hoped it wasn't more than touching as his brother had said. He could understand why the taiyoukai didn't want to talk about it. He sure wouldn't either if someone had fondled him when he was a kid.

 

Well maybe if I can't bring them here I'll go back for a bit and see what advice Kagome or Miroku can give me. His mind made up he swam back over to his brother to let him know he was going back for a few days.

 

“I just want to check on them, make sure everything is okay and then I'll come back,” Inuyasha informed his brother.

 

“I forbid you to tell them about me,” Sesshoumaru ordered sternly.

 

Inuyasha looked his brother right in the eye and lied. “You have my word, I won't tell them anything.” Sorry Sesshoumaru but if I'm going to help I need advice on how to do that.

 

<><><><><><><><>& lt;><><><><><><><><>< ><><><><><><><><><> ;<><><><><><><><><>&l t;><><><><>

 

Sesshoumaru prowled around the cave feeling somewhat lonely. He had gotten so used to his brother's presence and chattering that the silence now was almost deafening to him. This was a mistake. I never should have allowed him to accompany me. Perhaps this is best, once he is with his friends he will probably stay with them anyways.

 

The thought that Inuyasha might not return began to upset him. The fact that he was even allowing it to bother him was even more irritating. This will not do, I have never depended on anyone and I refuse to do so now. With his mind made up, Sesshoumaru left the cave to head to another of his stopovers, covering his scent as he went.

 

<><><><><><><><>& lt;><><><><><><><><>< ><><><><><><><><><> ;<><><><><><><><><>&l t;><><><><>

 

Miroku sat and looked at his friend in total shock. He could not believe what he had just been told.

 

“Jeeze, say something,” Inuyasha said. “I really need some help with this.” He had taken Miroku aside earlier that evening, feeling more comfortable telling him than the miko girl. He figured Miroku may be more help with this anyways. What ever could Kagome know of something so vile?

 

“I don't know what to say. No wonder he's been having nightmares,” Miroku finally answered. “But I'm not sure of what kind of counsel to give you.”

 

“Do you think it would help if he knew who did that to him? I don't want to push him too hard. It's so weird to see him that way; vulnerable, lost. I just don't want to make it worse.”

 

“I don't believe I'm going to say this, but probably just being there and listening to him is a help,” Miroku stated. He was certainly surprised that Sesshoumaru had opened up to the hanyou and was hoping that finally the two could become friends and brothers. Something he knew his friend wanted very badly but wouldn't admit to. “I wouldn't push him too hard though. I have a feeling there is more involved than you know about for him to have such strong reactions.”

 

“You think? Kami I hope not,” Inuyasha sighed. Ever since he had slept beside his brother, breathing in his scent, a feeling of belonging, of being truly connected to another had come over him. He didn't want to lose that and even though he thought what had happened in his brothers past was awful, he was glad it gave him an opportunity to get to know him, to prove that he could be an important part of his life.

 

The two friends began to discuss other matters as they headed back to the village where the two girls and Shippou were waiting for them.

 

<><><><><><><><>& lt;><><><><><><><><>< ><><><><><><><><><> ;<><><><><><><><><>&l t;><><><><>

 

Sesshoumaru was back in the field of grass. This time, however, he was not floating above immune to what was going on. This time he was that young boy heading for the wagon.

 

The inu pup crawled under, hugging his knees to his chest and breathing hard. The monster was coming, but surely he wouldn't be able to find him here. He was wrong.

 

The monster crawled beside him, whispering soothingly, cajoling smoothly. Sesshoumaru could not see the man's face, but his large hand was on his smaller one; then his arm and then his thigh. The monsters hand slowly caressed higher, to his crotch.

 

Sesshoumaru felt his kimono being opened, it wouldn't stay closed. The future demon lord kept pulling it shut but he couldn't stop what was happening. “I don't like this,” his small, young voice whimpered at the monster.

 

“It's okay, sssh. Touch it, touch it,” the being under the wagon told him as he squatted, unleashing his manhood to let it move and swell in front of the child. The monster's voice was encouraging and gentle. The young Sesshoumaru took the growing appendage in his hands and began to stroke it, hearing the sighs, moans and words of praise coming from the faceless man. After awhile he stopped the boy and then placed the child above him so that the swollen member abraded the inu pups flesh at that one particular virgin opening.

 

“No,” Sesshoumaru's voice quavered as fear began to grip his heart again.

 

“Be still, it will be fine, you'll like this,” the voice rumbled. Large hands pushed his small body down onto the stiffened organ.

 

An eerie far off wailing started to sound in the boys ears. At first it was a moan and then the keen of an animal trapped in the woods. As the young lord screamed at the pain of his first penetration, so too did the adult lord wake to the sounds of those same screams coming from his throat. Not just from the remembered pain but also because, just before he had awoken soaked in his own sweat, he had finally seen the face of his tormentor.

 

Father! It was his smell in my nostrils, it was his arms, lowering and lifting me over and over. Sesshoumaru's whole being went into shock. He stood, hiccupping, feeling totally drained and empty. He welcomed the numbness that overcame him and without knowing what he was doing, he began to walk as if he could walk away from the terrible memory and knowledge that had forced itself upon him.

 

<><><><><><><><>& lt;><><><><><><><><>< ><><><><><><><><><> ;<><><><><><><><><>&l t;><><><><>

 

Where the hell is he? Inuyasha searched all around the cave and falls not able to find his brother's scent. “Damn it,” he swore out loud. He continued to search in ever widening circles for hours without any luck. Finally, he went back to the cave hoping that his brother would return. If he doesn't show up by tomorrow I'm leaving, he thought sulkily, hurt that his sibling hadn't waited for him to return.

 

Sesshoumaru stumbled into the cave late into the night. He was still in that zombie like state and did not even realize his brother was there, sitting up in the bed and watching him with surprised and worried eyes.

 

The demon lord stopped and stood in the middle of the cave wondering why he had returned here of all places. Hadn't he wanted to leave here so he wouldn't have to see his brother again? His subconscious had pulled him back, back to the place where he had felt safe and comforted. Back to where his brothers scent still lingered strongly in the air.

 

Inuyasha left the futon and carefully went to his hiccupping sibling. He saw how pale and lifeless the face of his brother was, the dead eyes. Instantly he knew something was terribly wrong. “Sesshoumaru,” he called out gently. “Has something happened?”

 

Sesshoumaru turned and looked at his brother. “It was - hic - father,” he stated so blandly that at first Inuyasha was sure he hadn't heard right.

 

“What?”

 

Sesshoumaru took a deep breath, the scent of his brother and the sound of his voice calming him enough for his hiccups to stop. “It must have been my fault,” he mused out loud, trying hard to not let the reality of his situation break totally though to him. “I must have done something wrong for him to be at me. Touching me, forcing his fingers, his…I should not have tried to get away.”

 

Sesshoumaru gave a nervous almost hysterical giggle before forcefully encasing himself back into the bubble of nothingness that he had almost burst through. “He was so damned big. No matter how strong I became or how tall I grew, he was a mountain,” he murmured.

 

Inuyasha stood rooted to the spot as his brother spoke in that chillingly, quiet way feeling goosebumps rise on his skin and the hair rise on the back of his neck. “Come on,” the hanyou said after a few silent as the grave moments. He gently led his unresisting brother over to the futon. He sat the demon lord down on the edge of the futon and removed his boots and haori, stretching him out on the mattress. The hanyou lay down beside his brother and stroked his hair, holding his head against his chest. “It will be okay,” he promised as he soothed the traumatized demon.

 

Sesshoumaru was so tightly shrouded in the calming emptiness that had served him so well in the past that having his younger brother touching and holding him didn't bother him in the least. In fact strange thoughts were going through his mind. He's being so kind, so gentle. I should repay him. You should always be nice to someone who is being nice to you. Those words came to him out of somewhere in the back of his mind. His father's words but Sesshoumaru, in his fog, didn't realize that.

 

The demon lord wrapped his arm around his brother and hugged himself tighter to the body of his kin. He leaned his head up just as Inuyasha dropped his head to make sure his brother was okay. Their lips touched and Sesshoumaru moved his arm to grip the back of his brother's head with his hand, holding him still as he tried to show his sibling his appreciation in the only way he knew how, the only way he had been taught.