InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Bane of My Existence ❯ His Pain ( Chapter 6 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Shaeya Sedjet Namir 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 06.18.2007 | Updated On: 06.21.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 944 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 06.18.2007 | Updated On: 06.21.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 944 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: The characters from Inuyasha belong to Takahashi Rumiko. Sadly, I can only claim Caleb.
The Bane of My Existance
Chapter Six:
His Pain
Our relationship wasn't without its faults. We were, by far, not a perfect couple. We were actually fairly volatile. We knew how to push each other's buttons and did so quite often. It didn't help that I was completely insecure about the whole dating thing. Yes, this felt different, but it was still an entirely new world for me. On top of that, Inuyasha would be a sophomore in college. I kept wondering why the hell he would prefer someone like me to one of the college girls that had to be drooling over him. While we were working in the shop one Saturday morning, I decided to ask him.
“So...what happens when the fall semester starts?”
Inuyasha paused with his can of primer poised just above the surface of the Carmen. “What do you mean?”
I cleared my throat nervously. “I don't really know how this summer romance thing works. Do we continue to see each other, or do we go on like nothing's happened? I was just wondering--” I didn't get to finish.
“Goddammit, Kagome!” he exploded. “Why can't you just trust anything?! Why do you have to fuckin' second guess everything?!”
That pushed the wrong button for me. “If you would pull your head out of your ass, you might remember why!” I shot back, throwing my shop towel down ferociously and storming out of the shop.
I heard him mutter a “Fuck!” and come storming after me.
“Kagome, goddammit! You can't just walk out on me every time I say something you don't like.”
I whirled on him, offering a saccharin smile. “It's better than throwing a carburetor at you.”
“What the fuck is your problem?” he demanded.
“My problem,” I bellowed, “Is that I have an insensitive-jerk-bastard-ass-monkey-fuck-I-don't-even-know-what-to-call-you ! My problem is that at the age of fifteen I was raped by my boyfriend in every way possible. I was beaten for looking at him the wrong way. I was sodomized because he thought it was funny to watch me squirm. He'd face fuck me, then insult my looks and my 'skills'. So please tell me how to act, Inuyasha, because I'd really like to know.” I was panting when I was finished.
He reached for me, “Kagome--”
I smacked his hand away, “Just go home, Inuyasha. I'm tired.”
“Kagome--”
“No, Inuyasha! I don't want to talk to you right now.”
“Fine. To hell with you!” he spat and stalked toward his red Corvette.
That's not what he was supposed to say. He was supposed to hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. He was supposed to tell me that everything would be alright—that we would get through it together. I could feel my heart breaking. People always say that and you think, “Yeah, whatever”, but it is a real feeling. You really do feel a pain in your heart when someone you love betrays you.
I watched him go and didn't let the tears fall until he was out of sight. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
I didn't see him for the next few days. I was certain he was finished with me and by that time, I sure as hell was finished with him. When he did show up, it wasn't with flowers and candy.
I was putting on the last coat of cherry red paint when I looked up to see him leaning against the door jamb.
“What the fuck do you want?”
He crossed his arms now. “So this is the way it's going to be?”
“I didn't see you complaining when you told me to go to hell.”
“Grow up, Kagome.”
“Fuck you, Inuyasha! What are you even doing here? Miroku went to the beach with Kouga and Bankotsu.”
“You know I came to see you.”
“Well, you've seen me. Now, you can turn around and go back the way you came.”
“Don't be like that.”
“Fuck you! You don't get to tell me how to be. Not after I aired my dirty laundry to you only to have it thrown back in my face. You've got some fucking nerve coming back here with that piss poor attitude.”
“I didn't mean it, Kagome.” He said desperately.
“I don't give a fuck, Inuyasha. I'm done with this farce of a relationship. I need it like I need another hole in my body.”
He was faster than I expected. He was on me in an instant, forcing me back against the wall. “Don't give up on this.”
“Give me one reason why I shouldn't fuck you up beyond recognition.”
“Because I need you,” was his simple reply as he rested his forehead against mine. It was then that I knew something was wrong.
“What's wrong?” I was terrified. I'd never seen him look so vulnerable.
He dropped his head to the crook of my neck and shoulder. “Mom has breast cancer.” His expulsion of breath was warm and moist against my neck. My arms went around him, smoothing over his shoulders and down his back. “It's metastasized to her lungs. There's no chance of survival.”
“I'm so sorry, Inuyasha.”
He laughed and that laughed turned into a sob. Izayoi was the gentlest and kindest woman I had ever known. She was the best mom a kid could want. She didn't deserve this.
“Is there anything I can do?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.
“Just hold me,” he murmured.
“Well, duh!” That earned me a soggy chuckled and I knew things would be ok. Somehow, things would work out for the best.
The next few weeks were painful. We spent many late nights in the hospital at his mother's bedside. I made brownies and cookies for everyone and for Inuyasha, I made ramen noodles from scratch. I did everything I could to make the transition easier for him. I knew what losing a family member was like, how hard it could be. In some ways, it was more difficult for him. He was given fair warning. There was time for it to eat away at him. I used to think that I would have liked to say goodbye, but knowing that they are going somehow makes the pain worse. It's easier when they're just gone. You don't have to grit your teeth and bear it while you watch your loved one waste away. You don't have to sit around feeling helpless while the person you love is dying before your eyes.
In those weeks, our relationship evolved again. We became a support system for each other. He only cried for me. He would cling to me and sob his heart out, raging against the injustice of losing his mother. He began to spend more and more time at our house, leaving in the wee hours of the morning. Soon, he was spending the night, my arms cradling him to my chest as he slept. I cherish those moments when he would show me his vulnerabilities. He would bare his soul to me, entrusting it to my care. I tried to be very careful with it, hoping that I could live up to whatever expectations he had.
I was brushing his thick, glossy hair one morning when his father called. It was time. His mother was slipping away quickly. He looked at me, his eyes begging the question that his mouth could not ask. My heart heard it anyway. “Would you be by my side while I watch my mother die?” I nodded, because what can you do when someone looks at you like that?
He reached out and pulled me against him, burying his head in the crook of my shoulder and taking a deep breath. He pressed a kiss against the juncture of my shoulder and neck and straightened, taking a deep, steadying breath. He held his hand out to me and together, we descended the stairs from my bedroom to the door that took us outside.
I climbed into his corvette, wondering how I was going to hold him together when I was so close to breaking myself. I too, had been close to Izayoi. She had always been a role model for me to look up to. She had been a photographer. Her favorite medium was black and white. She would rent old, classic cars and have girls pose like pinup models from the 1940's, draped across the cars in seductive poses. She was the one who had inspired me to strive to build the Carmen. I told her that she could use the Carmen when it was finished. She had been looking forward to it. And so had I. I was going to be her model for that particular set of photos. But now, that would never happen. I was losing my second mother, a sister of my soul. My heart cried out at the injustice of it. Why did the gods take their brightest stars before their time?
But I couldn't voice any of this to Inuyasha. It would be selfish. After all, he was losing his mother. All I could do was be there for him to offer the comfort and support that he so desperately needed.
As we buckled our seat belts, I reached across the gear shift and clasped his hand in mine. I told him without words that it would be ok. We were going to make it through this together. I would be here for him as long as needed me.
He gave my hand a firm squeeze and nodded his head. Then, he through the corvette into gear and made the dreaded final trip to the hospital.
TBC...
The Bane of My Existance
Chapter Six:
His Pain
Our relationship wasn't without its faults. We were, by far, not a perfect couple. We were actually fairly volatile. We knew how to push each other's buttons and did so quite often. It didn't help that I was completely insecure about the whole dating thing. Yes, this felt different, but it was still an entirely new world for me. On top of that, Inuyasha would be a sophomore in college. I kept wondering why the hell he would prefer someone like me to one of the college girls that had to be drooling over him. While we were working in the shop one Saturday morning, I decided to ask him.
“So...what happens when the fall semester starts?”
Inuyasha paused with his can of primer poised just above the surface of the Carmen. “What do you mean?”
I cleared my throat nervously. “I don't really know how this summer romance thing works. Do we continue to see each other, or do we go on like nothing's happened? I was just wondering--” I didn't get to finish.
“Goddammit, Kagome!” he exploded. “Why can't you just trust anything?! Why do you have to fuckin' second guess everything?!”
That pushed the wrong button for me. “If you would pull your head out of your ass, you might remember why!” I shot back, throwing my shop towel down ferociously and storming out of the shop.
I heard him mutter a “Fuck!” and come storming after me.
“Kagome, goddammit! You can't just walk out on me every time I say something you don't like.”
I whirled on him, offering a saccharin smile. “It's better than throwing a carburetor at you.”
“What the fuck is your problem?” he demanded.
“My problem,” I bellowed, “Is that I have an insensitive-jerk-bastard-ass-monkey-fuck-I-don't-even-know-what-to-call-you ! My problem is that at the age of fifteen I was raped by my boyfriend in every way possible. I was beaten for looking at him the wrong way. I was sodomized because he thought it was funny to watch me squirm. He'd face fuck me, then insult my looks and my 'skills'. So please tell me how to act, Inuyasha, because I'd really like to know.” I was panting when I was finished.
He reached for me, “Kagome--”
I smacked his hand away, “Just go home, Inuyasha. I'm tired.”
“Kagome--”
“No, Inuyasha! I don't want to talk to you right now.”
“Fine. To hell with you!” he spat and stalked toward his red Corvette.
That's not what he was supposed to say. He was supposed to hold me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. He was supposed to tell me that everything would be alright—that we would get through it together. I could feel my heart breaking. People always say that and you think, “Yeah, whatever”, but it is a real feeling. You really do feel a pain in your heart when someone you love betrays you.
I watched him go and didn't let the tears fall until he was out of sight. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
I didn't see him for the next few days. I was certain he was finished with me and by that time, I sure as hell was finished with him. When he did show up, it wasn't with flowers and candy.
I was putting on the last coat of cherry red paint when I looked up to see him leaning against the door jamb.
“What the fuck do you want?”
He crossed his arms now. “So this is the way it's going to be?”
“I didn't see you complaining when you told me to go to hell.”
“Grow up, Kagome.”
“Fuck you, Inuyasha! What are you even doing here? Miroku went to the beach with Kouga and Bankotsu.”
“You know I came to see you.”
“Well, you've seen me. Now, you can turn around and go back the way you came.”
“Don't be like that.”
“Fuck you! You don't get to tell me how to be. Not after I aired my dirty laundry to you only to have it thrown back in my face. You've got some fucking nerve coming back here with that piss poor attitude.”
“I didn't mean it, Kagome.” He said desperately.
“I don't give a fuck, Inuyasha. I'm done with this farce of a relationship. I need it like I need another hole in my body.”
He was faster than I expected. He was on me in an instant, forcing me back against the wall. “Don't give up on this.”
“Give me one reason why I shouldn't fuck you up beyond recognition.”
“Because I need you,” was his simple reply as he rested his forehead against mine. It was then that I knew something was wrong.
“What's wrong?” I was terrified. I'd never seen him look so vulnerable.
He dropped his head to the crook of my neck and shoulder. “Mom has breast cancer.” His expulsion of breath was warm and moist against my neck. My arms went around him, smoothing over his shoulders and down his back. “It's metastasized to her lungs. There's no chance of survival.”
“I'm so sorry, Inuyasha.”
He laughed and that laughed turned into a sob. Izayoi was the gentlest and kindest woman I had ever known. She was the best mom a kid could want. She didn't deserve this.
“Is there anything I can do?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.
“Just hold me,” he murmured.
“Well, duh!” That earned me a soggy chuckled and I knew things would be ok. Somehow, things would work out for the best.
The next few weeks were painful. We spent many late nights in the hospital at his mother's bedside. I made brownies and cookies for everyone and for Inuyasha, I made ramen noodles from scratch. I did everything I could to make the transition easier for him. I knew what losing a family member was like, how hard it could be. In some ways, it was more difficult for him. He was given fair warning. There was time for it to eat away at him. I used to think that I would have liked to say goodbye, but knowing that they are going somehow makes the pain worse. It's easier when they're just gone. You don't have to grit your teeth and bear it while you watch your loved one waste away. You don't have to sit around feeling helpless while the person you love is dying before your eyes.
In those weeks, our relationship evolved again. We became a support system for each other. He only cried for me. He would cling to me and sob his heart out, raging against the injustice of losing his mother. He began to spend more and more time at our house, leaving in the wee hours of the morning. Soon, he was spending the night, my arms cradling him to my chest as he slept. I cherish those moments when he would show me his vulnerabilities. He would bare his soul to me, entrusting it to my care. I tried to be very careful with it, hoping that I could live up to whatever expectations he had.
I was brushing his thick, glossy hair one morning when his father called. It was time. His mother was slipping away quickly. He looked at me, his eyes begging the question that his mouth could not ask. My heart heard it anyway. “Would you be by my side while I watch my mother die?” I nodded, because what can you do when someone looks at you like that?
He reached out and pulled me against him, burying his head in the crook of my shoulder and taking a deep breath. He pressed a kiss against the juncture of my shoulder and neck and straightened, taking a deep, steadying breath. He held his hand out to me and together, we descended the stairs from my bedroom to the door that took us outside.
I climbed into his corvette, wondering how I was going to hold him together when I was so close to breaking myself. I too, had been close to Izayoi. She had always been a role model for me to look up to. She had been a photographer. Her favorite medium was black and white. She would rent old, classic cars and have girls pose like pinup models from the 1940's, draped across the cars in seductive poses. She was the one who had inspired me to strive to build the Carmen. I told her that she could use the Carmen when it was finished. She had been looking forward to it. And so had I. I was going to be her model for that particular set of photos. But now, that would never happen. I was losing my second mother, a sister of my soul. My heart cried out at the injustice of it. Why did the gods take their brightest stars before their time?
But I couldn't voice any of this to Inuyasha. It would be selfish. After all, he was losing his mother. All I could do was be there for him to offer the comfort and support that he so desperately needed.
As we buckled our seat belts, I reached across the gear shift and clasped his hand in mine. I told him without words that it would be ok. We were going to make it through this together. I would be here for him as long as needed me.
He gave my hand a firm squeeze and nodded his head. Then, he through the corvette into gear and made the dreaded final trip to the hospital.
TBC...