InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Bliss of Nights Forgotten ❯ A Story to Sleep by and A Kiss to Break the Spell ( Chapter 7 )

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Last time: A lock of his silver hair tickled her arm and looking at it she was reminded of Inuyasha. Abruptly she pulled away from the youkai, turning to face him, "Don't touch me," her voice was shaky, as if she was afraid. "things are not the same between us, they can never be the same."

Surprised, Sesshoumaru could do nothing but stare at the back of her head, once again not knowing what to say.

Chapter 7: A Story to Sleep by and A Kiss to Break the Spell

~*~

The trip back to the castle proved to be quick and uneventful. Each went in silence, dwelling on there own thoughts. As they entered the courtyard both wore looks of determination. Kagome headed towards the hot spring and Sesshoumaru watched her walk through the doors of his castle still contemplating her reaction to him. He knew she had spoken the truth, he could remember everything which had transpired between them; he even remembered at the end, how he admitted his true feelings for her.

The time he had spent with her had been the most peaceful days of his life. She had instilled a calmness within him that was unrivaled by anything he had ever experienced. He had been able to sleep peacefully, although it was true he didn't require sleep, still it was something he did to comfort himself. To forget all the hardships of life and exist in a dream world in which he did not have to be a cold hearted killer. He had even found himself wishing. . . to be mortal just so he could spend his life growing with Rin and Kagome. To go through all the emotions they felt, maybe even have a family to care for.

He had felt all of this, yet he knew those things could never be. There was no way he could abandon his life and title. Those had been naïve dreams fit only for foolish humans. The path he now traveled was the only possible choice for him. There were no emotions between demons, they only created weakness and he needed to be strong so he could keep those he cared about safe. But to care about humans at all was against his very nature; it was a weakness. It was all very confusing and yet the fact was always there in the back of his mind; he cared for both Rin and Kagome and would not let harm come to either of them.

~Kagome~

`It feels so cold. I'm shivering even in the heated water of the spring. I never thought it would be this difficult. It doesn't help that he's making it harder then it has to be. I wish he would just stay away from me and stop being so. . . nice. I never thought I'd say this, but I wish he would revert back to his cold-hearted self. At least then I wouldn't feel so guilty. `

`Tomorrow will make it one month. I've been here for a month already, and in another week Inuyasha will be here to get me. . . and it's been a week since that night. . .' she shook the thought from her head.

`So what do I do when they get here? I still have to finish my training with Rin so I can't leave yet. There's so much more to teach her and even though she's a quick learner I don't know if she is ready to learn everything I know. Maybe she's too young. . . or maybe I'm just looking for a way out of all this. `

`What about Sesshoumaru? `

`Oh, no there's that terrible little voice again! I don't want to think about him now. `

`But you love him.'

`Oh, Kami save me, but I do. Nothing can erase those feelings and the memories; sometimes they're too much to bear. How many nights of sleep have I missed because of that emptiness in my chest? I walk aimlessly for hours only to find myself in front of his bedroom, the doorknob in my hand. But I always manage to collect myself before opening it, and I always hate myself in the morning for not giving into those reckless impulses. `

`But he stops you.'

`Yes, the memory of Inuyasha is what stops me. It's what keeps me bound to this charade. It's because I know he still cares about me and I don't want to hurt him. Not to mention that being in love with Sesshoumaru will cause a chain of tragic events that I will have no control over. So this is the only way for me to change that future. I must never show my love, I cannot be in love with anyone. `

`How sad.'

`Shut up. I hate you, I hate myself. . .'

Tears came to her eyes and she sobbed into her palms letting the heavy, damp curtain of her hair cover her face.

~*~

Sesshoumaru walked away from the door to the hot springs, feeling a bit guilty at the satisfaction that now coursed through him. She was crying, that had to mean that not being near him was having the same effect on her that he was experiencing. He knew that she hadn't been sleeping well, and that at night she wandered the castle and always ended up at his door. He had spent his nights waiting for her to give in and turn the doorknob, to come to him and admit that she did indeed love him. But for some reason she would not let herself in; would allow herself no comfort or slack.

Instead she went through her days in agony, becoming tense when he was near and carefully hiding what she felt. Although he could tell she was making a tremendous effort to stay away from him and block out his existence. All he didn't know was why. It didn't make sense to him, to keep yourself from something you wanted was foolish. He had decided that for himself finally. It would only distract him to deny his feelings for her, so by admitting it he was able to clear many bothersome thoughts from his head. Now all he had to do was help her realize that.

~*~

The moon was barely visible through the thick clouds covering the sky making the forest dark, though the mood of the small camp was even darker. No one had been sleeping well, and the sense of unease each member had felt had only been growing as they neared the Western lord's domain. No one said anything or slept; they all just stared blankly into the surrounding darkness avoiding each other's glances. They all felt helpless, not knowing what exactly had started the somber mood that had prevailed for the last week. Each had there own thoughts to attend to and so the night passed quietly. Sango thinking of what sort of task Kagome had been set to, Miroku contemplating the change in their young kitsune companion, Inuyasha wondering why he felt compelled to head south instead of west and Shippou longing for the comfort his surrogate mother had given him before she had been taken away.

~*~

In the heart of the Western Lands a little girl was also feeling ill at ease under the clouded sky though her surroundings were a bit more comfortable. Rin sat in her over-sized bed, refusing to let Kagome leave. So Kagome sat with her, holding the girl in her arms as she hummed some wordless song. The younger girls hands clung to her robes ensuring that the miko would not leave her alone in the darkness.

"Can Kagome tell Rin a story?"

Kagome frowned, not knowing what kind of story she should tell the girl. But even as she thought of all the stories she knew, words formed on her lips of their own accord. She could do nothing but listen to herself speak, a far off look in her eyes.

"Once upon a time there was a young girl who lived in a remote village very far away. The village was in the center of a forest inhabited by many dangerous demons. Although she didn't know it, she had very special powers which lay hidden deep in her heart."

"Oh, is her name Kagome? Rin thinks her name should be Kagome." The little girl interrupted. Kagome just nodded, continuing the story.

"The girls name was Kagome. She had lived most of her life surrounded by people, but she always felt as if she were different. In a sense she had always felt like she was alone, as if somehow she was not complete. This feeling was always with her until one day she met a young lord. . ." her voice paused.

"Sesshoumaru-sama" Rin offered the name, yawning in the darkened room.

Kagome's eyes closed before continuing with the story. "The young lord's name was Sesshoumaru and he appeared in the village one morning, asking for someone who would help him and his daughter. No one would volunteer, fearing anyone that could survive the perils of the forest. But the girl, Kagome, she saw in his eyes that he had a good heart although he looked cold and dangerous. Also, she felt drawn to him and so she stepped forward, offering them her aid. . ."

~*~

It hadn't taken long for the story to conclude, just a cluster of every fairy tale cliché she'd ever heard. Yet, it had held some meaning to her. She could almost picture herself as the tragic heroine fighting for good and needing to be saved. Well, they did share a name. If only her life could have a happy ending like the stories'. At least Rin was asleep now Kagome thought, a wistful smile on her lips. She stood to leave. First tucking the small girl in and then walking to the door, to find Sesshoumaru standing there.

"Is that all it takes to break the spell. . ." he leaned in to her, pulling the door closed behind her and trapping her between him and the wood. She was lost in his eyes and tried to look away but he was holding her chin, forcing her to meet his stare. Her resolve was melting away along with her strength and she wanted to cry out in relief and scream in alarm at the same time. She wanted to push him away but the look in his eyes seemed so sad, so determined. Not even her considerably strong will could defeat his. He brought his mouth close to hers and whispered "a kiss?" and she fell into his arms as his lips met hers.

~*~

The clouds had cleared and now the moon was visible in the night sky making it easier for her to see as she stood and walked away from the giant bed. Her skin was even lovelier in the light of the moon and her hair shone in all its dark beauty to contrast the pale skin. She stood there silently for a minute, seemingly unembarrassed at her nakedness. It created a longing in him again and he stood to wrap her in another one of his embraces. But she pulled away.

"You know what I'm going to say; you remember." Her voice was steady, quite a contrast to the trembling, passionate tone she had used a few minutes ago while they were in bed.

He nodded, `Shhh… Don't say anything, I know what you're thinking. This was a mistake, that's it right? You regret having done this. To you it is a weakness, and weak is something you can never be. . .' he remembered the words she had spoken in his dream.

"It's different though, that time I was the one regretting it. Now it's you." Said the youkai. At that, she nodded.

"This won't happen again," she stated, "I'm going to repeat myself. You are becoming too attached. You are showing weakness and I will leave you when the time comes." The words were meant to anger him, hurt him anything that would help her push him away.

But she didn't see hurt or anger in his eyes, she saw concern as he stepped in front of her. She took a step back to put more distance between them. He grabbed her arm, drawing her closer; she didn't struggle.

"Why do you insist on lying to me?" he saw tears forming in her eyes and pulled her closer and she sobbed into his chest. He could feel her warm tears on his bare skin and just held her offering comfort, love and safety; but not a solution. Abruptly, she pushed him away, the tears still streaming from her eyes.

"Leave me alone!" Grabbing a silk robe from the bed, she quickly wrapped it around herself and ran out of his room.

~*~

Kagome hadn't slept that night. Nor did she leave her room the next day although Rin did visit her, inquiring about her lessons. Lessons were given within the confines of her room and the door remained locked.

`Six days' Kagome thought. `Six more days and Inuyasha and the others should be here. All I have to do is stay away from him for six days and when my friends get here it'll be easier, they'll be here to distract me and I'll have Shippou to look after alone with Rin's lessons. Only six more days. . .'

She knew she was kidding herself. Only six days? Hah, she was pretty sure those six days would seem like six years. When she was avoiding the person she loved the days dragged on forever depressing and long. By the time the six days were over she'd probably feel like she was sixty years old. She tried to hold the tears in, setting herself up for the longest six days of her life.

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