InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Closet ❯ Love Shack ( Chapter 4 )

The Closet - Love Shack

Just wait, it'll all makes sense in the end… Actually, I'm not really sure; it's like 5:30 am… I haven't gone to bed yet… What's on YTV…? Pokemon…? Or Yu-Gi-Oh…?

~I recently got a review from … someone … telling me not to insult "their Fluffy". Look, I'm not going to stop making fun of him just because you want me to so don't bother putting crap like that in your reviews. I don't really care if you're offended. It's your choice to read. I don't make you. If this offended you, pretend you didn't read it and leave me alone. To all of you who gave me fair and honest reviews (which was only Aeryn so far. Thanks Aeryn!! Luve you!) thanks. I'm in a bad, mood so all of you writing those annoying "don't insult this person" reviews, quit while you're ahead. I apologize to whoever told me not to insult Sessoumaru. Not for insulting him, for offending you and then yelling at you here. Thank you and good night! What? I still have to write the fic?? The disclaimers are getting too time-consuming… expect more…~

*Inu-Yasha and Kagome, feeling the need to spend some time alone to figure things out, head for the well to return to Kagome's era for the weekend. Sango and Miroku feel that they also need time to talk but they decide to spend their weekend in the Feudal era. Shippo and Kirara decide to help Kaede stock up on herbs and clean up around the village. Cue Inu-Yasha and Kagome.*

Kagome: Come on, Inu-Yasha, I told my mom I'd be back in time for dinner tonight.

Inu-Yasha: Wait, I can smell him… Sessoumaru.

Kagome: What? Then we'd better hurry. Let's get out of here before your brother shows up.

Sessoumaru: *Evil snicker.* Too late. Now I get to kill you, Inu-Yasha.

Inu-Yasha: Kagome! Hurry! Into the well!

Kagome: *Runs to the well but hesitates, waiting for Inu.* Inu-Yasha! Come on!

Inu-Yasha: Go! I'm coming! *Runs to Kagome's side at the well and leaps in after her.*

Sessoumaru: Hey! Who said you could run away?! No fair! I can't run in heels! *Makes it to the well in time to grab Inu-Yasha's sleeve and be transported to Kagome's era.*

*Rin latches onto Sessoumaru's fur and is dragged to the present also, which no one seems to notice. Kagome, Inu-Yasha, Sessoumaru and Rin are at the bottom of the well when Kagome realizes, *Thinking: `If we fight Sessoumaru here, Mom, Sota or Grandpa could get hurt. We have to go back to the Feudal era.'*

Kagome: Inu-Yasha! We have to go back! We can't fight here!

Inu-Yasha: *Realizing Kagome's concerns.* Alright, I'll grab my stupid brother.

*Kagome and Inu-Yasha both grab a sleeve of Sessoumaru's and return through the well. Completely missing the boat, Rin finds herself alone at the bottom of the well.*

Rin: Milord? Oh well. Rin wonders where the well will lead to…

*Rin climbs out of the well with some difficulty and manages to find her way from the shrine to the house. She knocks lightly and opens the door slowly.*

Rin: Where is Rin? Hello? Milord?

Sota: *His head appears from behind the fridge door.* What? Who are you?

Rin: *Smiling.* Rin. And who are you?

Sota: Umm… shouldn't I be asking the questions? You're the one who just walked into my house…

Rin: Rin was looking for Milord but he is not here. He did not answer when Rin called.

Sota: Do you always refer to yourself in the third person? And who's `Milord'? Or, your `Lord'?

Rin: Yes, Rin does. And, he is Milord. Jacken calls him `Master Sessoumaru' but Rin does not because `Milord' is cuter. Also because Milord does not like being called `Fluffy'.

Sota: Uhh… I'm Sota. Where do you live?

Rin: With Milord. We do not have a house. We travel. But Rin has never seen a house like this. It is very big and strange…

Sota: Wait a minute! You're from the Feudal era aren't you?!

Rin: Rin has no idea what you're talking about.

Sota: You came out of the well!

Rin: Oh, yes, Rin did. Rin thinks you are very cute, Sota.

Sota: *Thinking:* That was fast… *Out loud:* Umm… you're… cute, too… but a little weird.

Rin: *Laughs.* Jacken says that to Rin very often. But Rin does not want to hurt you when you say it.

Sota: Who's Jacken?

Rin: A very ugly green imp that follows and serves Milord. *Slightly angrily.* Rin does not like him.

Sota: Oh, I see… So… I guess we'll have to wait for Kagome before you can go home… Wanna play Gamecube?

Rin: Rin does not understand. What is Gamecube?

Sota: It's a game system. You can play a lot of games on it. Want to try Windwaker?

Rin: Rin still does not understand but wants to learn more of this `Windwaker'.

*Sota grabs Rin by the hand and leads her over to the TV. Grabbing the controller, he hands it to Rin to hold it while he sets up the Gamecube.*

Sota: *Pointing to the Nintendo system.* This is a Gamecube. That's the controller. *Sota explains the buttons and the object of the game, which is obviously totally lost on Rin since she continues to run into walls and repeatedly tosses the pig in the water…*

*Inu-Yasha and Sessoumaru are having the usual pre-combat battle of `wits'. In this case the term is used loosely, seeing as poor Fluffy's little brain has no room for wit. It's all filled up with fond memories of Naraku and the desire to kill Inu-Yasha.*

Kagome: Just kill him already, Inu-Yasha! I'm sick of this! It's like listening to five-year-olds fight, "You started it! No I didn't! Yes you did!"

Inu-Yasha: Will you shut-up? I'm trying to concentrate here.

Sessoumaru: I thought I smelled something burning.

Inu-Yasha: You did, it was you, because you're dead meat.

Kagome: *To the audience, or reader, or you, or… whatever! It's 6 freakin' 17! Leave me alone!* Now you know what I have to listen to all day…

Sessoumaru: Ha ha! Your girlfriend's making fun of you!

Inu-Yasha: She's making fun of you, too, Idiot.

*When Inu-Yasha's the wittiest one in the room… he's either alone or talking to himself… that or he's talking to Mega Man… Ha ha ha… Bob and George…*

Sessoumaru: What? Oh, I get it! Hey! Shut-up!

*Kagome and Inu roll their eyes.*

Kagome: Inu-Yasha, can you finish this, already? I want to get home.

Inu-Yasha: Shouldn't take long. Poor little Fluffy will be dead or running off with his tail between his legs really soon.

Sessoumaru: Hey! I don't have a tail! …I mean, like I'd have to run away from you! HEY! DON'T CALL ME FLUFFY!!

Inu-Yasha: Hey, stupid! That's what happened last time!!

Sessoumaru: Dammit! Just die already!! *Leaps toward Inu-Yasha and attempts to kill him. Inu-Yasha parries with the Tetsusaiga, though how he learned to do that, we'll never know… well, I will, but not you!!*

*The fight continues this way, with Sessoumaru constantly being blocked until his temper explodes.*

Sessoumaru: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

*Sessoumaru runs away, tail between his legs-"I do NOT have a tail!!"-blood pressure soaring.*

Inu-Yasha: …

*Inu-Yasha and Kagome are left bewildered by Sessoumaru schizophrenic behaviour. They decide to go back to Kagome's era for their previously planned weekend… I am so repetitive… Upon reaching her era, Kagome and Inu head inside for some much needed supper.*

Kagome: Mom…?

Sota: She went to the grocery store.

Kagome: Oh, did she say when-Sota who's that? *Kagome points to Rin.*

Sota: This is Rin. She's from Inu-Yasha's era.

Inu-Yasha: That's Sessoumaru's kid!

Rin: You know Milord?! Where is he?

Inu-Yasha: …

Kagome: …

Inu-Yasha: Well we have to do something… We could-

Kagome: We're not going to kill her!

Inu-Yasha: Damn…

Rin: Thank you!

Sota: Yeah! You can't kill her Inu-Yasha! She's not a demon!

Kagome: Um… Rin, I'm Kagome and this is Inu-Yasha… Inu-Yasha is his younger brother… Um… I think we should take you back to your era Rin…

Sota: What about me?!

Kagome: … Crap! I hate this time travel stuff!!

Sota: Can't we let Rin stay here??

Kagome: No! She's evil! She works for Sessoumaru!

Sota: What did she ever do that was so evil? She told me that he saved her life and she owes him! That's why she follows him around! She's not evil!

Kagome: Crap! Must you be right, Sota? Fine. Well, we still have to bring her back to the Feudal era… I guess you can come, Sota, but only to say goodbye and then I'm bringing you back.

Sota: YUSH!

Inu-Yasha: *Looks around and breaks the `fourth wall'* Hey, you! *Points to you.* Am I the only one wondering why Sota can't just say bye here?? You caught that, right? *To Kagome:* Why can't Sota just say goodbye here?

Kagome: I told you! NO LOGIC!!

Inu-Yasha: No you didn't.

Kagome: SIT!

Inu-Yasha: Ow…

*Kagome decides that logic is evil and therefore refuses to give Inu-Yasha a reason for bringing Sota along. When I think of one, I'll let you know. The "double-date" heads for the well and returns to the Feudal era.*

Kagome: Aw, crap!

*Upon exiting the well, the foursome finds itself faced with Kagura and an extremely irate Kanna.*

Kanna: *To Kagome:* DIE, WENCH! *Looses arrow at Kagome who doesn't even have to dodge the pitiful shot.* Dammit!

Kagome: *Laughs hysterically.* Even I could hit a target 6 feet away when I started out!! You suck!

Kanna: *OMIGOSH! SHE'S GOT COLOUR!!! She's got colour in her cheeks anyway… the only indication of her anger and embarrassment.* Shut-up! This isn't my bow! And the arrows are weird! And that arrows flights were practically falling off!! And…

Kagura: Shut-up! I can't believe you're my sister! You're such a dork!

Inu-Yasha: Okay Barnum and Bailey, what do you want?

Kagura: Barnum…

Kanna: Baileys…

Kagome: How do you know who Barnum and Bailey are?

Inu-Yasha: *Face goes red.* I uh… um… I… *Mumbles something under his breath.*

Kagome: What?

Inu-Yasha: I watched it on your TV, okay?!

Kagome: Moving on… No but really, what do you want? Not my soul again? I gotta tell you, that was annoying.

Kagura: Haven't you figured it out yet?! This storyline is all about revenge and making fun of the bad guys! WE WANT REVENGE!! *Note: I promise that after Chappie 5 or the next, I'll move on to a new storyline! Actually, if you don't mind it being long, I could finish it this chapter… Alrighty! Back to the fic!

Kagome: Oh. Yeah, that's getting really old… And why does everyone only want revenge on the good guys?! Get revenge on the other bad guys for once!!

Inu-Yasha: I dunno know why… Ask DNA… *AIYA!! COWBOY BEBOP!! ED!!! And now back to our feature presentation.*

Kagura: Hmm… *Thinks about Kagome's point.* I guess we could seek revenge on the other bad guys… but then again, who the bad guys are is subjective… Meh, what the heck. *Runs off to kill Naraku herself.*

Kanna: Who's the boy? *Points to Sota.* What's up, Sweetcakes? *AIYA! Ask DNA!*

Kagome: WILL THIS MADDNESS NEVER END??

Inu-Yasha: Probably not… Not with the crazy psycho-freak who's writing the fic… I want out. Where's my lawyer.

~Me~ I'm your lawyer! *Laughs maniacally!* Sorry! All my contracts are iron-clad! Take that Goshinki!! I have no idea why Goshinki should take that, I just like saying his name… I just like melons…

*All present, with the exception of myself, look frightened or disturbed or just exasperated. Pick your take. They re-ignore me.*

Rin: Hey! Rin saw Sota first!

Kanna: So? I'm more beautiful!

Rin: At least Rin has colour!

Kanna: At least I don't refer to myself in the third person!

Kagome: Oh, great. A cat fight.

Inu-Yasha: At least they're both straight. Wait, what cats?

*Kagome breaks up the fight by firing her Sacred Arrow straight through Kanna's stupid mirror… Dictionary? Whatever. ~ I put dictionary instead of mirror, just so's no one's cufuffled. ~ Kanna, being a freak and all, runs away to find some pine resin in the absence of the invention of the invincible duct tape…*

Kagome: Alrighty then…

*Kagome, Inu-Yasha, Sota and Rin make for Kaede's house to get some bandages for Rin's arm and some advice.*

Kagome: Hey, Kaede! Do you have any bandages? This is Rin and Sota. Rin got in a fight with Kanna - the albino freak - over Sota. Oh, and Rin isn't actually evil even though she follows Sessoumaru. It's not a long story or anything but I'm too lazy to explain again.

*Inu-Yasha explains as Shippo and Kirara enter with some herbs for healing.*

Shippo: Hey guys! Back already? Hey, Sota. Hey… who are you?

Sota: This is Rin. *Smiles at Rin.*

Shippo: *Gets that stupefied "in love" face when he looks at Rin.* Hey, Rin…

Rin: Hi!

Sota: *Shrewdly.* HEY! SHE'S MINE!! YOU CAN'T HAVE RIN!!

Kagome: You're freaking 8!! None of you should want to be with one another!!

*Inu takes Kagome outside because she's obviously got some issues at the moment. Mental breakdown, maybe? That's not a clue, I was really asking. Meanwhile inside:*

Shippo: So now we've got a love house? I mean, the square was the base… and the Kikyo-Kagome-Inu one is the roof… Oh, yeah, and with the me-Sota-Rin one-

Sota: There's no you!! Only me-Rin!!

Shippo: Shut-up! Anyway, so, there are 2 triangles and a square… so it's more like a … love shack…

*A bunch of evil, killer [insert word stronger than freak here] still stuck in the 80's come out in parachute pants, mullets ~Screams and runs away!!~ and `high-tops' and break into song: "Love shack is a li'l old place where we can get together-er-er-eeeer! Love shack, Baaaay-beee!! Love shack! Baby, love shack!" Everyone stares as they slowly cross the clearing and disappear.*

Kagome: Let's all be very grateful that we didn't live through that nightmare… *Shudders.* Ahh! The 80's!

Shippo: Okay, that's it! I'm going to bed! No more mushrooms for me! *And NO they're not magic!!*

Inu-Yasha: Holy frik!! That's the scariest freaking thing I've ever seen!

Kagome: Now you know why I never watch Much More Music…

*Kagome and Inu-Yasha decide to go back to the present… (or come back… or whatever… I hate time travel!!) to salvage the rest of the weekend. Sota and Rin stay ask to stay in the Feudal era but, of course, Kagome brings Sota back with her. Rin stays with Kaede, Shippo and Kirara. Shippo decides that he's too young to date or have a girlfriend or whatever because he thinks of all the `great' examples, like Sango and Miroku or Kagome and Inu-Yasha. Shippo takes on a Jughead-like mentality. Kagome decides to let Rin choose whether to stay with Sota or go back to Sessoumaru.*

Credits:

~Thank you, Archie Comics!! Jughead's my fave!!

~Thank you, Buffy, and therefore Joss Whedon!!

Quotes:

Xander: Wait, Hansel and Gretel? Breadcrumbs, ovens, gingerbread house?
Giles: Of course. It makes perfect sense.
Buffy: Yeah, it's all falling into place. Of course that place is
nowhere near this place.

Buffy: Where have I seen this before? Oh, on a mausoleum! Of course! Big, freaky cereal boxes of death…

~Thank… bah… I forget.

~Luve you Aeryn!

~If I don't come back after Chappie 5 it's because Sango and Miroku killed me for not putting them in this Chappie. Don't alert the authorities. They'll come after you next! But I promise, I will not quit so long as I'm alive.

~Who else was there?? Oh, well. If I remember, I'll thank you next fic, or chapter or whatever… Bye!