InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Demons Within Us ❯ Fission ( Chapter 23 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

In a numbed state, InuYasha pulled his eyes away from the woman beside him to the one standing before him. He searched Kagome for any sort of reason for what was going on but her gaze was steady on Sango's shaking form and it sent a wave of anxiety to his stomach.

It was not her stance that bothered him; it was the expression on her face that threw him further into the dark. She held no confusion or harboured any ill will over this situation. She looked as if this was expected and it almost seemed like she was waiting for something to happen. But at the same time, she looked… troubled.

“Kagome?”

All eyes automatically turned up to the teenager on stage that was looking down at Kagome with curious confusion.

Kagome let a soft smile grace her lips. “It's okay, Ku. Do you mind coming down here for a bit?”

Kohaku's brows furrowed a bit before he looked back at the band. “But…?”

“Don't worry, we're almost due for another break here anyways and this can't wait.” Kagome turned to the dark haired girl behind him. “Souten, do you mind if you and Kanna take over the last two songs?”

InuYasha inadvertently glanced to the girls on the stage and felt a cold chill sweep down his spine. The girl, Souten, was looking at him with fearful recognition on her face. A frigid wave of shock jolted his system as he realized who that was. Hiten's sister. The one he took out of the gang's reserves and brought to the city, hoping social services would take her in. What the fuck was she doing here?

“Souten? Is everything all right?”

The teenager quickly swept her eyes to Kagome's concerned face and hesitantly let out a quick nod. Giving one last glance to InuYasha, Souten swiftly turned to head to the back of the stage to talk to the other children.

Breathing hard, InuYasha's wide amber eyes flashed to the woman before him. He was about to demand an explanation but his words died in his throat. What the hell was he supposed to ask? `How the hell are people that were supposed to be dead or forgotten now here alive with you?' He blinked slowly as he gazed at the beauty before him. What else did she know about him?

Her vivid blue eyes turned to meet his for a brief moment before she looked back up. Her gaze never faltered as she smiled softly up at the tall boy on stage before he hopped down beside her.

“What's up?” Kohaku cast his eyes around the small group before him in interest.

“Ko…haku?” Sango took a step towards him but stopped when the boy took a quick step back closer to Kagome.

“Uh… do I know you?” Kohaku frowned at the weird look on her face.

Two stunned faces fell in confused shock before a soft voice lilted over to them.

“We should move out of here. The music will be starting soon.” Kagome tugged on Kohaku's fingers and he automatically followed her along the edge of the crowd to reach the area behind the stage and away from the speakers and audience.

Kagome turned and waited for Sango and InuYasha to follow and wasn't surprised to see Miroku, Ayame and Kouga come huffing in behind them.

“Sango?” Miroku moved quickly to her side and searched her pale face intently. Lifting his eyes up, he quickly scanned the teenager in front of him before shooting a questioning glance at Kagome.

“Kagome?” Ayame breathed, innately voicing the question that was on everyone's minds.

With a hint of a gentle smile, Kagome looked up at Kohaku then over to her band.

“Kohaku, this is Sango, Miroku and InuYasha. Kouga you already know.”

InuYasha flashed a glare over at Kouga, but the guitarist's face remained inquisitive and he shrugged at the singer. Frowning, InuYasha turned his questioning eyes on Ayame, but she looked just as confused as anyone. They both seemed to be in the dark about Kohaku's tie with Sango and were searching for answers like the rest of them. Only Kagome acted like the one in the know, but it wasn't only she he wanted answers from.

InuYasha turned back to the scene as an uneasy feeling twisted in his stomach. Why did Kohaku act like he didn't know anything?

“Nice to meet you all.” Kohaku smiled and nodded to each of them. “Kags told me all about you.” He looked over at InuYasha and let out a bright smile. “I'm a huge fan of yours, actually.”

InuYasha and Sango looked at the kid as if he had two heads and remained speechless.

“Um… okay.” Kohaku's smile faded and he looked at Kagome in confusion. “What's going on?”

Kagome sighed and looked down for a few moments before looking up at Sango with trepidation. “Kohaku is one of the orphans at Shikon House. He came here four years ago with no memory of his past.”

Kohaku frowned uncomfortably at the admission of his amnesia as Sango and InuYasha continued to stare at him in, but this time in disbelief. He looked over at Kagome. “Kagome, why did you…?”

“Is… is this true?” The brown haired woman breathed as if in pain, cutting off his train of speech.

Kohaku turned his head and eyed Sango warily for a few seconds before dipping his head in a light nod. “Yeah.”

The woman's shoulders seemed to slump and she leaned heavily against the man beside her.

“Sango?” Miroku held her closely to him. “What's wrong?”

“He… doesn't remember.” She whispered, her eyes flicking up to the boy as if trying to make sense of it all. “He doesn't remember any of it.”

“Remember any of what?” Kohaku's brows furrowed deeper.

Three pairs of eyes looked at him in either sadness or discomfort.

“Stop looking at me like that!” Kohaku glared at Sango, Miroku and InuYasha in turn. “Stop talking like I'm stupid! Now what's going on?”

Kagome lightly touched his arm and Kohaku automatically flinched. He flashed his angry eyes down at her but calmed slightly when she gave him an understanding nod.

“It's okay, Ku. Sango's a bit surprised, that's all.” She gave him a weak smile. “She once knew you.”

“What?” The boy swept his gaze over at the woman with wide earthy eyes.

Sango slowly pulled away from Miroku and stepped in front of the boy who instinctively moved closer to Kagome. Sango looked sadly up at him for several moments, not knowing what to say or do, before dropping her gaze to the ground in hopelessness. Kohaku didn't know her. He didn't remember anything that happened. She wasn't sure to be heartbroken or relieved. At this moment, she wasn't even sure if this was a cruel joke or a horrible dream.

Kohaku eyed the woman in uneasiness before glancing down at Kagome, giving her a slight shake of his head to tell her he didn't know what to do.

Giving him a reassuring smile, Kagome moved silently in front of Sango, flicking her soft eyes at InuYasha before letting them rest on the woman once more. She calmly let out a smooth breath.

“Four years ago, Kohaku was brought to the Shikon House. He had no memory of what happened to him or who he was. All we had was a name sewn onto his jacket - Kohaku. So that's what we called him.” She looked over her shoulder at the teenager. “He was found in the dockyard of Tokyo. His head was wounded and he was very sick. He spent a few weeks in the hospital to recover before he was released into social services. Having no memory of who he was or where he came from, it was decided to place him in our care until we could find out about his past, or if he should one day remember.”

Her eyes lowered to the ground as her mind travelled back to that memory. “For years we tried to find out about his family and what had happened to him, but we couldn't go far with only a first name.”

Turning back to Sango in resignation, Kagome sighed. “It was after the war and so many children were dead or missing. There was no way to find out unless we had more information to go on and there was no information on a Kohaku. So he remained with us,” she smiled softly as her gaze drifted to the ground, “and he became apart of our family.”

Kohaku fidgeted restlessly behind Kagome while flicking his eyes warily at the people around him. His heart thundered in his chest as he settled his gaze on the brown-eyed woman before him. She was looking as anxious as he was and her eyes hardly wavered from his form, making him feel hopeful anticipation rise up from the depths of his subconscious. He quickly shifted his attention back to Kagome as she spoke in attempt to avoid the odd emotions welling up inside him.

“He's overcome so much in his life while being with us.” Kagome looked around the small gathering of people. “In that time he's brought a band together and finished school. He's helped many people in need and lived his life with people who love him more than anything, but…” her eyes stopped on Sango, “though he is apart of our family, he doesn't know his real family.”

Kagome stepped forward and Sango automatically faltered back from her quickly, giving her an accusing glare. Shaking her head softly, Kagome captured brown eyes into her understanding blue.

“Three days ago, you told me about a brother you loved and you vowed your life to keep him safe. But bad things happened and you lost him.” Azure eyes filled with painful emotions and memories. “You nearly lost yourself trying to find him and if it wasn't for an amazing man….” heavenly orbs moved to capture sun filled eyes, “both you and this boy would have died.”

InuYasha felt a cold flush tear at his face at the acknowledgment of his actions. Kagome knew what he did. But how much did she know? Not enough to know how much this was destroying him. Fuck, this boy was supposed to be dead! He was supposed to be a jaded memory! One he had tried so fucking hard to forget. And now here he stood, a thread to his past. One pull from this boy and his world would unravel. How long would it take before everything he tried so hard to fight will come to light? Kohaku wasn't the only one who had a past he couldn't live with. The boy was just lucky enough to forget… but for how long?

Amber eyes flickered between fear and fury at the woman who tore him open with no more than a breath. Quickly InuYasha tore his gaze away from her gentle aura and stared bitterly at the ground.

Without judgement, Kagome sadly lowered her eyes from him before she looked at Sango once more. She let out a soft sigh and smiled. “But you didn't die. And neither did he.” She reached into her pocket and slowly brought forth an envelope. “He… just got a little lost.”

Sango looked dumbly down at the envelope for several seconds before she slowly reached for it.

“I was given this only a few minutes ago, telling me who your brother was. And now, we all know. Except him.” Kagome hesitantly turned to Kohaku and her eyes shimmered in apprehensive happiness. A warm smile touched her lips, though it looked sad. “I prayed… every night that you would someday find your family.”

Kohaku's mouth dropped slightly as a stunned silence filled the air. His gaze slowly lifted up to capture eyes that were identical to his own.

Kagome lightly touched his arm and he instinctively moved a few steps forward to stand in front of the cinnamon-eyed woman before him. He studied her for several moments before his nutmeg eyes lightened slightly.

“I think… I've seen you before.” He flushed somewhat and ineptly reached into his back pocket. “It's not a very good likeness, you see… I can't draw for the life of me.” He smiled awkwardly as he handed her a piece of paper that had seen better days.

Sango slowly reached out and took the folded sheet from his outstretched hand. Looking up at him tentatively, she carefully opened the paper and quickly bit her lower lip as tears assaulted her eyes.

It was she when she was his age - an age that felt like a lifetime ago when she remembered what it was like to be truly happy. The faded image of a girl smiled up at her with eyes that seemed to be alight with a hidden fire - a fire that had died four years ago. Though it was old and tattered, she knew with all her heart that it was she. Yet what hit close to home was that somehow, deep down, he remembered her.

Gasping on a harsh cry, Sango launched into his arms and hugged him hard.

In stunned confusion, Kohaku reflexively wrapped his arms around her smaller frame. It felt different than what he imagined it would be. But then again, every time he envisioned holding the woman in his dreams, he was the smaller one.

His head lowered onto her shoulder as he breathed in her hair. Sakura blossoms. He knew that smell. He knew it so well it felt like it was coming from his very bones.

“I promised to always protect you.” Sango sobbed into his chest. “I'm so sorry I lost you. I'll never leave you again.”

Those words triggered something deep within him, tearing away shreds of darkness to bring forth familiar feelings that were long buried: fear, love, comfort and pain. His arms tightened around the woman so hard that they couldn't breathe and he shut his eyes from everything but the feeling of it all.

“I know you.” He whispered as tears leaked from his tightly closed eyes. “I've always known you. You never left me.”

Sango dug her nails into his back as she clung to him hard, crying out tears of happiness and sorrow over everything that had happened. “I love you, Kohaku. I love you so much!”

Kohaku never said a word. Instead, he let his tears fall and began to rasp on deep sobs. He remembered her. He remembered the sound of her voice, the smell of her hair and the feel of her body. Though there was so much he could not place, she felt complete and definite in his arms. And he never felt so close to himself in what felt like forever. He had not only been given his sister back, but a large piece of himself, and he was overwhelmed.

Kagome bowed her head to Ayame, signalling that everything was all right before she turned from the private scene to head to the opening of the stage. They all needed time alone now and she had to let the children know that Kohaku would not be returning for the last set. Regardless of what was going on behind the stage still so much needed to be done. There was no time to rest… no time to mourn… no time to share their joy.

Once away from the sight of her band, Kagome leaned heavily against the side of the stage and lifted a hand to cover the tears that threatened to fall from her pained eyes. And yet she couldn't tell what emotion she needed to shed, for she felt so many right now that she felt ready to collapse from the exhausting effect of them all.

She felt tired - so very tired.

Kagome lifted her moist eyes up to scan the baby blue heavens above and sighed. At least this task was over. Now the people she loved could begin to heal.

Without warning, her arm was suddenly wrenched to the side and a harsh voice hissed furiously in her ear. “You and I need to talk.”

Kagome let out a slight gasp as a very enraged InuYasha tugged her hard into the clueless crowd. She stumbled violently over a few people's feet and tried to apologize profusely before she was enveloped closely to his side. He shouldered his way forcefully through the horde of people but kept her body from the force while making sure she kept pace with him. As soon as they reached the end of the mass, he let her go roughly only to grab her hand and tug her towards the parking lot.

Seeing the direction she was going her senses finally caught up with her and she dug her sneakers into the soil. “InuYasha! Stop! Let go! What're you doing?”

He sighed hard and turned around to face her. If she thought he was finally seeing reason she was sorely mistaken as she was quickly hoisted over his shoulder and held tightly as he thundered towards his bike.

Kagome grasped hard into his shirt for leverage but barely had time to gain her equilibrium before she was flipped off his shoulder to land firm on the leather seat of his motorcycle.

Struggling to find her composure, she barely found her seat when a dark shadow quickly blocked the sun from her view.

“Sit there and don't move!” InuYasha barked.

Kagome blinked up at his tall form. She tilted her head slightly and frowned as she watched him rake his hands into his hair furiously. His eyes were shut as if struggling to fight his temper and it was obvious he was trying to grasp coherent thought.

Closing her own eyes in weariness, Kagome lowered her head and waited while pressing her fingers into the hot leather seat beneath her that felt ready to burn her flesh.

After what felt like an eternity she could sense that his hands fell furiously to his side. His breath seemed to halt several times as if struggling on what to say before his voice broke like a frigid wave over her head. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

Kagome kept her head down and did not reply.

InuYasha clenched his fists as he struggled to speak through his anger. “How long… did you know?”

“Today.” Her voice softly replied.

“Bullshit! You had to have known longer to set this up.” He growled.

Kagome shook her head. “On Thursday Sango told me about her brother and what had happened. I had suspicions then.”

InuYasha inhaled hard. “Why didn't you tell us?”

“She said he was dead.” Blue eyes opened for him to see her truth. “I couldn't open wounds over a hope. I had to find out for sure before I said anything.”

InuYasha glared at her before a dawning realization hit him. “That night… in the lobby… you were calling to find out more information about him, weren't you?”

She nodded her head in resolve and looked down. “I wanted her Kohaku to be the one we took in. I now had a last name to go by to know for sure.” She lifted her gaze to the crowd in the distance as they cheered for Guardian. “It wouldn't have helped had I confided in anyone if he wasn't the one. I would've made false hope.” She looked up at him with dark sad eyes. “I couldn't be the one to give you pain by bringing up the past.”

Golden eyes flashed in fury. “And you think this little discovery today wasn't painful?”

Kagome blinked slowly and let her eyes drift to his chest. “I didn't know you would be here.”

“What?”

Kagome sighed. “You said you weren't going to come. When Bank gave me the papers, I saw that Kohaku was the one and the same. I was prepared for Sango then.” She lifted her gaze to meet his. “But I didn't expect to see you there.”

InuYasha felt as if a cold shock slapped him across the face. “I was the reason you ran?” The question was more to his self.

“I had to get to Kohaku. I didn't know how you would react to seeing him.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” He clenched a fist hard.

Kagome stood up gently and looked up at him before letting her eyes fall to his fist. “He was supposed to be dead. Would you have believed me had I just told you? Especially since you didn't know Sango told me.”

InuYasha stood up straight in surprise and his hand fell to his side as a numbed sensation took over. He was at a loss what to say or feel.

“You wouldn't have wanted to see him.” Cerulean eyes captured his fire filled orbs. “You wouldn't have wanted to remember.”

“Remember?” He asked mutely.

“The cost of your freedom.” Her eyes drifted down sadly.

The emptiness inside him flooded with hot-rimmed anger and unbridled terror at how close that was to the truth. A dark laugh broke from his lips and he had to turn away from the sight of her. “You think you know me? You think you were doing me favour by shoving him in front of me? Do you think that was what I fucking needed?!”

Kagome frowned and turned to look towards the stage. “I didn't know how it would happen. But I knew it had to be done.”

Fury lodged in this throat. “You fucking bitch.”

Kagome flinched and shut her eyes before turning hurt filled orbs upon him.

“Do you think you know what's good for me? Do you think by presenting this dumb kid our lives will be better? Fuck!” His body shook as terrified rage enveloped him.

Kagome felt daggers pierce her heart as he turned molten pools of torment upon her.

“You think bringing him back into my life will make it all better? He's only one thing out of many that ruined my life! You can never understand that!”

Kagome's dew stained eyes searched his face in confusion and pain.

InuYasha turned his face away from her in bitterness, unable to hide the hurt in his eyes as his low voice burned her. “You have no idea what I've been through. You can never save my life because you remind me of everything that ruined it.”

Kagome reached for him shakily. “Inu….”

He smacked her hand away. “Don't!” His eyes burned her to the core. “Don't touch me, don't look at me, don't even fucking say my name!” He stormed over to his bike and straddled it hard while he gunned the engine. “Don't even act like you give a shit because from this day on I want nothing to do with you! Stay the fuck away from me, my band and my life!”

He burned gravel as he tore out from the parking lot, leaving dust to gather on tears that finally were given true emotion to fall for. A broken heart.

-+-

InuYasha blinked wearily down at the near empty bag in his hand. Wasn't it full a minute ago? He leaned his back heavily against the foot of his couch and pondered the situation. Closing one eye he lifted the bag between two fingers and let it swing back and forth, shaking the remaining pills against each other.

With an open red-blotched eye, he followed the movement of the small bag, taking in the colours and sweeps left behind. It was like the bag was messing up the air around it like turpentine against a fresh painting. He lifted his other hand and waved his fingers through the haze and frowned when the smeared air coated his fingers. Frowning, he numbly wiped his fingers on his jeans, but the coated air just stained the denim and mixed with the blue of his jeans. Great, now another pair was ruined.

Opening his other eye, he looked accusingly at the bag in his hand and tossed it on the coffee table in front of him. The surface of the oak table rippled like a shallow brown pool of murky water and InuYasha grimaced in disgust. Now his bag of drugs will be filled with dirty water but it was better off than leaving the bag covered with freshly painted air.

He quickly shook his head. No, this wasn't right was it? He blinked and looked at the table again. It was solid once more and the bag rested untainted on its surface. What the hell was going on? This was definitely not the high he was expecting. He felt fucked all over. Nothing made sense and he couldn't piece a damn together.

He shut his eyes and leaned his head against the seat cushion behind him. He groaned. His apartment was chaotic with sounds and colours and it was making him tired and slightly ill. Why won't they all just go away? He didn't want to have them over. He was pretty sure he didn't know them but they made a party anyways. Didn't they know he wanted to be left alone?

Sighing in exhaustion, he lifted his heavy head and slumped to the side to get on all fours. Slowly he crawled over to the far wall, away from the sights and sounds, and rested his back against the cold surface. His head was swirling and he knew that this wasn't normal. Ducking his head onto his arms, he rested his cold sweat stained forehead on his knees. It felt like large koi fish were swimming circles in his head.

Koi fish…. Koi…. Kagome….

He wished she were here. She would know what to do. She would kick everyone out of his apartment and kiss his forehead like the last time and make everything better.

Where was she? She should have been here by now.

InuYasha rubbed his forehead hard against his knees. Maybe she forgot about him.

A knock on the door echoed through his head and he lifted his eyes to gaze in the direction of the new sound.

He looked around his apartment warily but it didn't look like anyone else was going to answer it. Growling in annoyance he crawled his body over, trying hard to stay level since the ground kept circling beneath him. After a long effort he finally wobbled to the door. Grasping the edge for leverage he pulled himself up on the knob and rested against the frame. He waved his hand haphazardly around the apartment, signalling everyone to shut up before he opened the door.

His unfocussed eyes squinted blearily out into the hallway as a slender form of a woman walked into his view.

“Hello, InuYasha.”

He shifted his eyes up towards her face and frowned at the fact he couldn't take in her features. “Hello….”

“Aren't you going to let me in?” Her velvet voice tickled in mirth and he didn't trust her happiness.

“No.”

“Why not?” He could hear her pout.

“It's loud.” His brow furrowed in concentration. “You'll only add to the noise and I'm going to bed.”

“Oh?” Her soft form moved past him into the apartment. “Well no wonder it's so loud. You have the T.V. up on bust.”

As soon as she said that the apartment fell silent and the colour ceased. He blinked in confusion. Where did the party go? Oh well, it didn't matter, they were gone and he could finally get some sleep. He stumbled heavily towards his bedroom.

“Where're you going?” The woman asked.

“Bed.” He grunted.

“Without me?” She purred.

“I don't know you.” He flinched as he knocked his shin against the end table by the couch.

She laughed. “When did that matter to you?”

InuYasha didn't answer as he flopped down on his couch and rubbed his leg. To be honest it always bothered him. Women just came to him and he accepted it because it was all he knew. But it always felt… hollow. Though he loved a good fuck he never had a great orgasm. It got to a point where he did it to just get off. But lately there was no feeling in it at all and he couldn't find pleasure from it anymore. He had nothing in him to give and nothing from them he wanted to take.

“Wouldn't you like a good fuck right now?” The woman sauntered over to stand in front of him.

“I want….” He shut his eyes tiredly.

“Yes?”

“Something more.” He whispered as his eyes opened to stare at her feet. They seemed clearer now and he slowly lifted his eyes up towards her face. He felt sick at what he saw. “Do I know you?”

Her dark eyes watched him coldly as a malicious grin passed over her lips. “You mean you don't recognize the one you love?”

He blinked back in confusion. At first he thought he saw Kikyo but her words threw him off. Blinking again, he looked up at her. “Kagome?”

Thin lips trembled as Kikyo's teeth clenched hard. He had made a fool out of her the last time they met and she wanted revenge. She knew he wouldn't be stupid enough to OD on those pills she laced, but it wouldn't do her any justice if he just passed it off as a bad hit. She needed him to suffer.

Kikyo smirked. Well, now she had a better way to get back at him. “Yes.”

InuYasha closed his eyes before he slowly looked back up at her. Black eyes turned blue and lank black hair turned into waves of ebony silk before him. His shoulders automatically relaxed as the woman he hated transformed into the one he needed.

“I didn't think you were going to come.” He murmured.

“Were you expecting me?” Kikyo frowned. It wouldn't do if that little bitch showed up now.

InuYasha slowly shook his head and looked down. “You're just there when I need you.”

She scowled in disgust and rolled her eyes. It was hard to keep back her revulsion as she tried to act the part of the other woman. “You know I'd never leave you.”

His lips curved slightly before they fell into a frown. “I thought you might've been mad at me.”

“Mad?” Kikyo slowly looked over the empty apartment in distain. What a sty! Didn't the asshole ever clean up this dump? “Why would I be mad at you?”

“I yelled at you.” He grimaced at the memory. “I always yell at you. But I never tell you what I mean to say.”

“Oh?” Kikyo sighed indifferently as her eyes fell to the coffee table.

InuYasha shook his head. “I never meant any of those things. I just didn't want you to know that I've fallen in….”

“Fuck, Inu-baby!” Kikyo laughed and held up the bag. “How many of these did you take?”

Dark golden eyes shot up in offended shock. That didn't sound like Kagome at all. He didn't think she would sound so amused about him popping pills, let alone swear. Man, there really was a lot about her he didn't know. He wasn't sure that he liked it.

He winced as a sharp pain wracked his brain. Shaking his head, the pain subsided as a loud buzzing erupted in its place. Man, he needed to lie down and sleep this shit off. He stood shakily and moved unsteadily to his bedroom while rubbing his forehead.

“Aww, what's the matter, puppy?” Her sickly sweet voice tripled the buzzing in his head.

“Nothing.” InuYasha stumbled into his room and collapsed onto his bed. He wanted nothing more right now than to fall asleep. Shutting his eyes, he whimpered into his pillow and begged his unconsciousness to take over.

A strange noise snapped his attention back to his room and he lay there motionless, willing whatever it was to go away. Silence permeated the apartment for several minutes and he cracked one eye open before closing it again. What a fucked up dream he just had. Kagome was acting just like Kikyo. The thought turned his stomach enough that he needed to turn onto his back to relieve the churning it created.

As soon as he did, he gasped in discomfort as a naked body fell onto his form. Blinking his eyes open, he glowered down at twin black pools of eyes he knew that he hated. He growled low. “Get the fuck off me.”

Kikyo pouted. “Now you're just being mean again, Inu.” She swiped her thumb across his chapped lips. “Don't you want me to forgive you for all you did to me?”

InuYasha blinked and her black eyes once again pooled into azure blue. What the hell…? He opened and closed his eyes, trying to make the image clearer.

Kagome's face came and went from his view and his hands went up to caress her smooth nude back to keep the image steady. Her lovely eyes looked at him in concern and love and his body seemed to ease. He sighed in apprehension. “You'll… forgive me, Kagome?”

Kikyo held back the bile that burned in her throat before she nodded. “Yeah.” She swallowed. “Just give me what I want and all is forgiven.”

His eyes automatically shut and he relaxed against the red comforter beneath him. He lay like that for several moments and Kikyo was afraid he had fallen asleep. “InuYasha?”

His golden eyes opened to gaze down at her, as if seeing her for the first time. “What… do you want me to do?”

Kikyo grinned and leaned her slim form up his body, pressing her heat hard against his growing arousal. She licked the shell of his ear before whispering hard into it, making his eardrum ring. “Fuck me.”

“What?” He rasped as he tried to see her more clearly.

Kikyo giggled. This was going to be fun. “I've never been touched by a man before. And I want to be fucked.” She lifted her body up to look down at him and smiled when his eyes drifted to gaze at her breasts. “Don't you want to take my virginity?”

Groaning hard at the idea, InuYasha rolled their bodies over so that he was lying on top of her. Gazing hungrily over her exposed skin, he could feel his body tighten from a long pent up need. He dreamt of this moment more times than he could count and now here she was, practically begging him for it. He shut his eyes as his desires took over. Kagome was naked and underneath him. God, what more could he want? All he needed was to hear her say those three simple words that he had never been graced with.

“InuYasha?” Kikyo smiled as she rolled her hips up against him, making him grunt in need. “Please fuck me.”

He grimaced in misery over her phrase before he growled low in defeated submission and deftly delved his tongue into her mouth as he kissed her hard. A wrathful pounding wracked his head like frenzied beatings of a drum and his body thrummed in time with each heated pulse that coursed through his body, making him flush hot with each painful throb.

He trembled furiously as chaotic sensors fought within him. This didn't feel right. Something was wrong. It was Kagome, he could see her, but everything else about her felt wrong.

Her skin was smooth, but she felt too thin. Her hair was long, but it didn't feel soft or smell sweet. And her mouth tasted sour like liquid smoke. He tore his lips away and looked down at her in confusion.

“Ka…gome?” Flashes of black flicked within her blue eyes and he shut his own as a sharp pain struck his head like lightening.

Something has to change

Undeniable dilemma

Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.

“Shh.” Kikyo hushed while she reached down and rubbed his burning need through his jeans, making him hiss in painful pleasure.

Constant over stimulation numbs me

But I would not want you any other way.

Rolling his eyes to the back of his head, InuYasha let her touch him to a point of distraction and unconsciously thrusted against her hands to relieve the ache that his body was succumbing to. Moaning in need, he let his lips fall upon hers and dealt with the taste as he kissed her.

Just not enough

I need more

Nothing seems to satisfy

I said, I don't want it

I just need it

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

He raked his hands hard down her sides, delighting at least in the gasp she let out from between their lips. He grinded hard against her core, feeling her slippery heat slick heavily against the folds of his jeans. Grasping her bony hips hard, he thrusted up fiercely against her, making her cry out in painful pleasure.

Finger deep within the borderline

Show me that you love me and that we belong together

Relax, turn around and take my….

He didn't know how he ended up naked against her, but he didn't care. Her hot hands burned against his equally hot flesh. It felt tight, it felt tormenting and it felt like hell. But it was with Kagome and he couldn't deny himself the pleasure.

Her flesh tasted bitter against his tongue, not at all salty sweet as he imagined. Their past kisses must have created a false illusion for him. Every time he pictured this moment with her it was slow, sweet and soft. It was perfect.

Yet this felt too rushed and she tasted too powerful. She moved against him like a snake, aching to be touched and handled all over and he wanted to give her what she wanted. But it felt off. How was it possible that she was a virgin and yet moved like a whore?

Her arms slithered around him, making his flesh burn even hotter with her touch. Sweat beaded up through his skin and his throat clenched as if being suffocated. He coughed against her neck and his body screamed for water, but he was trapped within her arms. He would not leave her even if his life depended on it.

He lapped her skin as if her sweat would quench his gagging thirst, but the salt from her flesh made his throat burn dry and made his thirst all the more powerful. He moaned in agony and tried to stop, but her hand guided his head down to take in a small breast.

He felt as weak as a kitten as he tried to fight her off. But the effects of the drugs were making him dizzy. He quickly gave up resisting and complied to her demands. He lapped his dry tongue along her slick breast before sucking up a wide tight nipple into his mouth. Though his very being told him to stop, her screams of pleasure made him continue. He would give her what she wanted. But it felt wrong. It felt so very wrong.

Reluctantly, he lifted his mouth and looked around his hazy room as if waking up from a dream.

“Something's not right….” He murmured to himself.

“Then let me make it right.” Her hot body pushed him over to his back so she could straddle him. Grinning with wicked delight, Kikyo raked her form lower to her destination.

I can help you change tired moments into pleasure

Say the word and we'll be on our way

Blend and balance pain and comfort deep within you

`til you will not want me any other way

He clenched his teeth hard as her hot mouth latched onto his dulling member. He hoped to God that she didn't notice he wasn't fully hard, but she barely seemed to care as she nipped and bit at the tender flesh, causing bitter scrapes and cuts to form. Fuck, it felt like she had fangs! Just as he could no longer take anymore, she then sucked him up hard, so hard that sharp pin pricks of pain shot through him. God, this was unbearable!

She moaned heavily in pleasure and all he could do was pant in an effort to fight the pain. Fuck, this was worse than anything he experienced!

A strangled gasp left his lips as her hot saliva poured down his cock to his balls, scorching everything it touched. Fuck, he was burning up! He needed to get out! But….

But it's not enough

I need more

Nothing seems to satisfy

I said, I don't want it

I just need it

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

The room felt like it was on fire. Everything felt too hot to the touch. His stomach clenched in discomfort, wanting nothing more than to push her body off of him so he could breathe.

Her hand clenched hard around his tender sac and squeezed. He winced and tried to pull away, but her sharp teeth gripped hard onto his sensitive tip and held him fast.

Knuckle deep inside the borderline

This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to

Relax. Slip away.

Her dark laughter felt like smoke to his senses. It burned him inside and out, making it hard for him to take in even breaths.

“Ka… Kagome?” He rasped, trying to pull her away from his stinging cock.

“Aww. What's the matter, Inu?” Kikyo swirled a hot tongue around his tip. “Did I hurt you?”

He nodded his head slightly and tried to ease back down. “It's okay….”

A black brow rose over an equally black eye. “Is it?” She let a small smirk settle on her lips. “Enough pain to make up for all that you'd given me?”

InuYasha whimpered at the accusation and reluctantly shook his head.

“Then take it and love it.” She rasped and delved his large cock as far into her mouth as she could get, tasting the bitter scrapes and scratches her teeth had created.

He hissed as her smoke lined tongue flicked up and down each abrasion. It felt like tiny paper cuts lined his cock and her mouth was like acid against them, sending sharp stings up his entire body. His hands dug deep into his sweat stained sheets as he took each bob and suck she delved, arching his back off the bed to escape the pain. He felt like he was slowing going insane and he wanted to cry out for it to stop.

“You want me to stop?” She purred. “Do you want me to fuck you now?”

He nodded heavily. Anything to finally end it.

She lifted her lithe body to crawl slowly up his form and looked down at him with sadistic eyes. “Then here it is.” She rocked back and forth against his semi hard cock, coating it with thick juices. She moaned in anticipation and smiled at each gasp he let go.

Feel it

Her pussy juices felt like venom on his stinging member and the build up of pain was growing to a point where tears were leaking out his eyes. His mouth opened as he struggled to hold in his torment before she delved her loose cunt down over his member, ripping loose a growling roar from his lips.

His hands shot out to stop her from moving, but her hips bucked and grinded hard in a psychedelic rhythm, reopening the cuts on him to bleed in more salt from her body. Her hair swayed like the river Styx and her groans echoed in and out of his consciousness.

His fingers dug deep into her flesh, but she only moved harder and heavier. The pain was torture, but his mind was screaming something else.

This is wrong! She isn't real!

He shook his head, trying to clear the haze away, but it was no use. His body was betraying any sense from him. This was his punishment and his desire. Didn't he want this?

Something kinda sad about

The way that things have come to be

Desensitized to everything

What's become of subtlety?

She suddenly stopped and he opened his eyes to look at her form. His head felt like cobwebs, but the sight of the woman he wanted blinded him from anything. Even the feelings he wanted to feel.

How can it mean anything to me?

If I really don't feel a thing at all?

But he didn't feel a damn thing, he realized then, and that was what was wrong the most. But by hell he had to try! He had to feel something!

Pulling her body down on top of him, he spun them over and began to pound her back into the bed with agonizing thrusts. His body trembled as he choked on a dry sob. Why couldn't he feel anything? Where was the familiar pain he embraced from her? Where was the agonizing pleasure he felt with only one look from her? Why couldn't he feel it now? He had to feel it! Here now, with her, he needed to feel it! He thrusted deeper until he could feel her hard pelvis smack painfully against his.

I'll keep digging

`til I feel something.

No! This isn't right! Everything feels wrong! His eyes clenched hard as his hands tore holes in his sheets beside her. His hips pounded harder and faster, but there was nothing to feel. It was hot, but there was nothing else, no friction, no give, nothing! She wasn't even tight. Weren't virgins supposed to be tight? He wouldn't rightly know. He was never blessed before with a virgin. She wasn't even in pain, in fact she was screaming for more.

Elbow deep inside the borderline

Show me that you love me and that we belong together

His opened his eyes and looked down as his cock disappeared and reappeared in a slick wide cunt. But he saw just as much as he felt. Nothing. There was no blood! Wasn't there supposed to be blood during the first time?

His eyes shot up to meet black pools of malicious passion.

“Keep going, Inu-baby!” Kikyo panted. “So close!”

His body flared in sickening realization as his head began to clear.

Shoulder deep within the borderline

Relax, turn around and take my hand.

His body began to shake as everything fell into place and he had to fight against the sickening wave of harsh reality.

Panting harder and harder as the heat within him reach its peak, his body clenched cruelly as his entire being poured out his torment in one tremendous roar.

“Kikyo!”

A/N Quick chapter, but glad to have it done. I know, I try to be good, but it felt perfect to end it here.

Oh, song is Stinkfist, by Tool. Such a spicy band don't you think?

Anyways, next chapter up soon!

Live, love and laugh!

WDW