InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Demons Within Us ❯ Change of Heart ( Chapter 27 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N - Edited completely after the second half…again. A whole new song, thanks to Swift Dagger who reminded me of Goo Goo Dolls awesomeness… I feel this song goes better with the story than the one from Lighthouse. Hey, it's been a few months since I've written, I'm allowed to make a few tweaks to get back into the groove :P.

-+-

Kagome struggled to stifle a yawn as they packed up for the evening but quickly lost the fight. Her large yawn was followed by a deep, arching stretch before she moseyed over to the love seat, oblivious to a pair of covert yellow eyes watching her as InuYasha packed up for the night.

“Hey, squirt.” Her voice sounded strained after a night of practice as she slumped down next to Kohaku. “Are you heading home tonight?”

The teen sighed. “Got to, I have work tomorrow.” His body seemed to sag at the weight of having to bag groceries in the morning.

Sensing his displeasure, Kagome grimaced. “Yeah, guess we should take off here soon.”

The boy frowned and nodded, his eyes looking remorsefully over at his sister.

Sango grinned and held up her hands. “It's better than bussing tables like me.”

Kouga collapsed into the sofa chair next to them, chugging a beer he found in the back of Sango's fridge. “You still with that shit job? What about all those cheques we've been getting?”

“Paying off debts, stupid.” Sango glared at him begrudgingly. “And it's not like they will be constant. We have yet to sign a contract and this warehouse won't pay for itself. And who the hell gave you permission to drink my beer?”

Miroku sighed contentedly as he fell into the seat beside her, holding an ice-cold beer. His eyes flicked over Sango's contrary face as he guzzled back his drink. “What?”

She scowled and turned away, her attention drawing to the shadow that spread over them as InuYasha stood behind the large couch they sat upon.

“We should take off now.” He stated lowly to no one in particular.

“What's the rush?” Miroku stretched his long sweaty arm over Sango and she quickly pulled it away from her in disgust and wiped the residual sweat from her neck.

InuYasha frowned. “I got some place I need to be, not to mention that Sesshomaru wants us at the Studio for interviews or some shit tomorrow morning.”

Sango's head fell back in whiney exasperation. “Shit. I forgot about the photo shoots. Which means a very early morning.”

Kouga groaned and kicked his feet up on the coffee table, much to Sango's disgust. “Man, I thought the life of a rock star meant we set our own schedule.”

“Maybe.” Kagome yawned once more and stood. “But got to make it as a rock star first.” She looked up at InuYasha. “Ready to go?”

The singer nodded and headed out of the warehouse without a second glance.

Kagome turned to Kohaku. “Got everything?”

He nodded his head to his backpack by the couch. “Just need to grab a few things. Meet you out there.”

“'Kay.” She waved goodnight to her band and followed after InuYasha.

Once outside she breathed in deep the cool night air, her exhaustion ebbing some as she stared up at the blackened sky. The thought of cool sheets, soft mattress and her head hitting the pillow once she got home felt heavenly. It has been one heck of a week, and the following one was going to be just as manic. Kagome sighed. The life of a rock star certainly appeared easy, but then again no one ever mentioned the hard work.

InuYasha waited in the shadows by the car. His heart began to beat hard against his chest as Kagome's svelte figure emerged from the warehouse. The light from inside reflected off her perfect face as she gazed up at the heavens. His throat seemed to constrict, clogging any words from forming at his mouth. Good thing he had no idea what to say to her or else he'd be screwed.

She let out a soft sigh and turned her gaze towards him and smiled. God, she was beautiful. How was it possible that he never admitted it before? He pulled his eyes away from her to look at the car door as she approached to unlock the vehicle beside him. The soft breeze lifted a few strands of her hair and the scent of her heated body caressed him for a bare moment. The smell of her salty sweetness triggered his whole body alert. His mouth watered at the desire to run his tongue along her neck and follow the taste to her most secret areas. He felt his eyes go hazy and it was near impossible to control his body from leaning closer to hers as she unlocked his door.

She glanced up at him and gave a soft grin before she turned to head to her side of the car, not even noticing how close he was. His numbed body stood rooted as he watched her unlock her side of the car before he shook himself alert. What the hell was he doing? One look from her and he loses all control? This was dangerous ground he was treading on he thought as he slid into the passenger side. It was better that he avoided her as best he could on the way home.

Yet even his rational thoughts could not keep his body in check. His eyes danced up and down her form as she got in, swiftly turning away when she leaned closer to him to turn on the ignition. God, she smelled good. He wanted nothing more than to pull those sweet lips into his own and taste the nectar only she could provide.

He groaned silently to himself. How the hell was he going to just sit next to her when he couldn't even keep his mind off wanting to take her like a wild man? But that sort of clinched it, didn't it? He knew this was what he really wanted.

His eyes drifted up to gaze at her profile. Oh god yes he wanted. It was just a matter of taking the risk. He just wondered if she could accept him for what he was and not expect anything more than that. There were some things he just wasn't able to give.

He breathed in and out for a few moments, collecting every arrogant nerve in his body before he found the ability to speak. “Kagome, I….”

The back doors opened forcefully as Kohaku and Kouga fell into the back seat behind them.

“Man, when Sango gets tired, she gets scary.” The teen shivered as he gazed out his window to the warehouse.

“Remind me not to take her last beer ever!” Kouga's wide eyes turned briefly away from the scene to chug the last of his beer. “I'm pretty sure Miroku's ears will be bleeding for weeks with the amount of yelling she was doing.”

Kagome blinked surprisingly at Kouga's presence before following his gaze. “Oh dear, should we go in and…?”

“Just drive.” InuYasha grunted, his voice sounded very brisk and cold.

“But…?” Kagome's soft eyes turned to him uncertainly.

InuYasha's face turned dark as he stared hard out at the alleyway in front of them. “Don't get involved.”

“Believe me, Kags,” Kouga stated quickly. “It's best we go. Miro can handle it, he's been on that end of the stick many times.”

Kagome frowned but pulled out of the warehouse parking lot to the street. It was clear that the argument should best be forgotten, and forgotten it was as the two guys in the back started to talk music and models, yet Kagome couldn't help but wonder what had turned InuYasha's mood so sour within that amount of time. She chanced glances at him from time to time as she headed through the city, yet the singer refused to say one word the whole trip. He didn't even glance up when Kouga got out of the car to head to the loft he shared with Miroku. It was like he was a dark shadow, something that didn't want to be seen yet hard to miss.

It was a semi silent ride to InuYasha's apartment. Kohaku prattled on about his visit with Sango and all that they talked about and did. Kagome did her best to listen and keep the conversation steady, yet the frigid stance of the man sitting beside her made it near impossible. Instead she let the boy talk, all the while acting like things were normal, though she wished desperately that she could talk privately to InuYasha. She hated to see him like this.

She barely stopped at the curve by his apartment before he grunted his thanks and opened the door. Her hand snapped out quickly, grabbing his before he could get out. “InuYasha…?”

He stopped and turned in his seat to look at her with an unrecognizable expression. Kagome's mouth opened slightly. If she had to guess, she would almost think he wanted to kiss her if it wasn't for the lost expression behind his eyes. Her eyes fluttered down to his lips and her senses took in the soft outline of them before blinking back to reality. This was InuYasha, he couldn't possibly want her… could he?

InuYasha's eyes roamed her face for a few moments, mesmerized by the haze that seemed to cover her blue irises, before his gaze flicked to Kohaku who was watching them curiously in the back seat. He quickly pulled his hand from Kagome's and gave a contrite frown at her surprised face. “See you tomorrow.”

With that he got out of the car and bee-lined to his building, refusing to look back when he heard her car pull away and drive off. Slumping his shoulders, he opened the door and headed up to his apartment.

Where the hell did those guys come from? Why didn't anyone mention she was driving them home? He growled low as he jammed his key into his lock. Fuckers! His one last chance to be alone with her and it gets blown.

Bah, what does it matter anyways? Maybe it was better off. It saved him the humiliation of getting turned down. He growled louder as his key refused to turn and he jimmied it hard within the lock.

It wasn't like he had anything profound to say. It wasn't like it mattered that she found out he liked her. Not like she would have said yes to a date or some shit. Hell, he didn't date anyways! Maybe all he needed, he thrusted his shoulder against his door, was one, BANG, long, BANG….

“Fuck!” He yelped as his door whipped open and he nearly fell into his apartment.

Steadying himself, he flicked the light on and stopped still. The faint smell of cigarette smoke hung heavy in his furniture and drapes and the scattered remains of butts and mouldy food littered the area. It was as familiar as the messed up DVD collection, boxes of empty beer bottles and the dirt that was smudged in his hardwood floors. Everything was as it should be, but for some reason it felt wrong, like it was missing something.

Sighing, he tossed his keys in the can on the end table and stepped heavily into his living room. His eyes grazed down at the sofa to see the soft blanket he woke up under only hours before. The pale crumpled up blanket wasn't extraordinary, it wasn't even unsoiled as he surveyed the tattered corners and frayed edges. But it held more weight than anything else in his apartment. He wrenched his eyes from the material and stalked quickly to his bathroom. Maybe a shower would make him feel better before he went to bed.

The pounding spray of the warm water did little to settle his nerves and he was quick to finish cleaning his hair before he shut off the water and stumbled out of the tub. What the hell was wrong with him? He rubbed a towel furiously over his body and through his hair. It was just a fucking blanket!

He threw the towel in the corner and wrenched the bathroom door open, ignoring the cool air that latched on to his naked flesh as he headed to his bedroom.

Just because some girl shows him an ounce of kindness doesn't mean his whole world needs to turn upside down. Plenty of women did things for him. He never got sentimental over them before. Honestly, why is this any different? He grumbled low to himself. Fuck it. Out of sight, out of mind. All he wanted to do now was sleep.

He stopped short when he reached his bedroom door as if a poisoned barrier kept him at bay. His eyes raked slowly over the room, taking in everything he had missed last night. The red sheets splayed haphazardly over his bed and a sour smell of something foul lay in the air. His brow furrowed in revulsion. Flashes of Kikyo's distorted face came to mind as she tore and ripped into him in a means of foreplay.

He unconsciously stepped back, repulsed by everything in that room. He could almost feel her around him now and he felt sick. Hard goose bumps rose on his flesh and his stomach churned. He clutched it unconsciously and grimaced slightly, quickly looking around to see a pair of loose jeans and a t-shirt on the floor. He swiftly put them on, feeling awfully exposed and disgusted at that moment. His plans for going to bed were dashed. The room felt haunted and he knew he'd never be able to sleep in there tonight.

Scowling bitterly, he walked out into his living room at a loss of what to do. Unconsciously he peered down at the blanket hanging lopsided on his sofa. His steps slowed as he neared the couch, his eyes never once leaving the thin material. Did it still smell like her, he wondered.

His hand reached down for it before he realized what he was doing and he swiftly pulled his arm back. He was being an idiot! She was just here one damn night and they didn't even do anything! Damn it! Plenty of girls spent the night. It wasn't like it was a momentous occasion!

Then why the hell did he feel so… lonely?

He scowled. Damn it! He wasn't lonely! He'd been on his own since he was thirteen. One night of … of whatever they did last night would never change his attitude. He was a loner. He took care of number one. He didn't need some chick to coddle him! He was a rebel and he took what he needed, when he needed, and he didn't need anyone, let alone some wide-eyed virgin with a mission statement.

He snorted at his lapse and headed to the kitchen to grab a beer and some chips to settle in front of the television. Blanket be damned!

His body slowed to a stop as his eyes settled on the kitchen table. Left over pancakes lay cold and slightly stale on their stack. The maple syrup had caked on like glue and the chocolate drops that were so warm and liquid this afternoon were now solid stains on the plates he and Kagome ate from. His eyes raked over the food for a full minute before he swore under his breath and marched out of the kitchen, grabbing his keys and boots before he thundered out the door. He couldn't stay in this place. He needed to get out. He needed fresh air.

He needed….

-+-

Kagome sighed as she pulled the towel from her hair and began to rake a brush through it. Her shower hit all the right spots to relieve her aching muscles and yet did little to soothe her tired mind. What happened tonight? What was he thinking? Her brushing slowed to a stop and she stared dumbly at her bed. If she didn't know any better, she would almost think he wanted something from her. She frowned. But that wouldn't be right at all. InuYasha had made it clear from day one that he would want nothing from her. Maybe… her saddened eyes dropped to the floor. Maybe she just wanted him to want her.

Groaning, she fell front first like a rag doll onto her bed, tossing her brush to the side and stretching out so that her arms and legs reached all corners of her bed. She knew he was putting up a front. She could easily let that slide, but there was a part of him that walked like a mysterious stranger, the part she wanted so desperately to touch because it was so raw and real. She closed her eyes against the idea, pained because what she wanted was something that he would allow no one to touch.

She moaned into her pillow. She just wished she could have talked to him before he ran off. Something was definitely wrong and she couldn't stand to see any part of him suffer. Yet if she knew one thing about InuYasha it was that he would never admit any weakness he felt, not outright anyways.

Kagome opened her eyes tiredly. If she were to find out what he wanted, she would have to listen in a different way. If only she was given the change to hear.

Ayame giggled as she walked into their room, tying her hair up into a ponytail for the night. “Rough night?”

Kagome shook her head and rolled over onto her back. “Try rough month.”

“Hmm.” The redhead grinned. “And I'll bet it'll keep getting better and better.”

The drummer snorted and flicked off her bedside light. “I'll settle for boring and uneventful for the next eight hours.”

Ayame giggled and moved to shut off her light when something out their window caught her attention. She quickly turned off her light to see clearer and peered heavily out into the night, her eyes widening in slight surprise.

Kagome opened a bleary eye, unaccustomed to the silence of the woman beside her. Seeing Ayame gazing intently out the window, she twisted stiffly onto her side. “What're you staring at?”

Ayame shook her head and grinned naughtily down at her friend. “Nothing. Just happened to look out at the corner to see a certain silver haired motorcyclist. He seems to be waiting for something… or someone.”

“What?” Kagome frowned in confusion as she quickly got up and joined her roommate at the window.

Her eyes narrowed into the night, trying to see through the darkness to the street corner up the road. Through the slight din of the streetlight, she could just make out a red Harley humming idly by the curb. A plait of long silver hair of its driver could just be seen through the haze of the artificial light.

“InuYasha?” She whispered to herself, her eyes widening in shock.

Ayame bit back a knowing grin. “Now why do you suppose he's all the way on this side of town?” She turned to make fun of Kagome but saw the girl quickly put on a pair of pyjama pants and a sweater. “Where're you going?”

“I have to make sure he's all right.” Kagome hopped up and down as she struggled to put on her socks.

“Kagome!” Ayame's mouth opened in shock. “You're not seriously going out there?”

Kagome quirked a brow up at her friend. “You're chastising me? May I remind you of a midnight rendezvous with Ginta when a certain someone was sixteen?”

Ayame's shock turned into a wickedly delighted grin. “I wasn't chastising, I was impressed!” She flicked her eyes up and down Kagome's clothes. “I just didn't want you to go out like that!”

Kagome rolled her eyes as she slipped on a pair of blue Keds. “It's not like I'm going to run off with him. I just want to know why he's here.”

“Mmhmm.” Ayame turned her nose away and gazed out the window. “Well, you'd better find out fast, it looks like he might be changing his mind.”

But the sentence fell on deaf ears as Kagome rushed silently down the stairs and out the door without a second thought.

-+-

InuYasha mentally slapped himself for what felt like the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. He didn't know what possessed him to drive across town to land directly on Kagome's street, nor did he know the reason why he now idled as if waiting for something to happen. His eyes flicked up when the last light in the house turned off. Perfect, now what the hell was he supposed to do?

He frowned contritely. If he were a real man, he'd just go up to the damn house and demand to see her. Of course, if he were a real man he'd know she was most likely in bed and she'd think he was crazy to come by at this time of night.

Maybe he could just call her cell and see if she was awake.

He groaned under his breath. And say what? `Hey Kagome, I'm outside stalking your house, wanna come out?'

Well, he could just call to remind her of the time and place they were to meet tomorrow. He could say that he was calling everyone to remind them so it wouldn't seem he was singling her out. He wouldn't sound completely moronic then, would he?

Oh fuck this! He growled low. This was a stupid idea to begin with. He was being a complete moron and he knew it. He was better off going home. He lifted his body up in preparation to kick-start the engine when a soft voice broke his action.

“InuYasha?”

His head whipped up so quickly he nearly winced. Golden eyes moved quickly up and down Kagome's flannel clad form, almost as if trying to prove she really was there before he turned away in alarm. She wasn't supposed to know he was here! Damn it, he was completely screwed. How the hell was he going to explain this?

He groaned internally. When in doubt, be an ass.

“Keh, why the hell are you here?” He snorted.

Kagome glanced up and down her street, huddling her hands deeper inside the arms of her sweater against the damp air. “Um, I was about to ask you that.”

He was thankful that he had looked away, or else she might see the slight flush of embarrassment tracing across his nose. Fuck, he hated himself right now.

“I just wanted to get out.” His pale eyes flicked over to her and back. “Got a problem with that?”

Kagome shook her head though he couldn't see. “I thought maybe you'd forgot something in the car or whatever. But if you don't need me, I guess I'll go back inside.”

InuYasha winced. Damn, that would have been a great excuse. He turned when he heard her soft footsteps move away. Damn it, she's walking away! Say something! Anything!

“Shit!” He hissed out venomously.

“What?” She turned and stared at him in confusion.

InuYasha's mouth floundered before his face turned away contrarily. “Nothing.”

Silence permeated the night sky, broken only by the distant honking of a car horn. InuYasha sat heavily on his Harley and looked everywhere but at her. Why was she just standing there like that? Wasn't this awkward enough without her staring at him? His mind was screaming, wishing for anything to happen before her sigh broke the choking air.

“Can I go for a ride?”

He started and turned to stare at her in disbelief. “What?”

Her cheeks darkened slightly under the streetlight as she pointed to his bike. “You just wanted to get out. Since you're here I had hoped maybe….” She shrugged, her blue eyes looked almost indigo as she looked away. “But if you have to go, I'd understand.”

“Uh.” The singer barely understood what she was asking. He turned to look up the street then back at her. She seriously wanted to go for a ride? There was no way he was willing to let people on his bike just because they wanted a fucking ride! He struggled to hold his senses at bay before he blurted out unconsciously. “Um… where did you want to go?”

He internally winced. `Smooth, jackass, real smooth.'

The easy smile that brimmed on her face made all thoughts jump out the window as his heart somersaulted in his throat. He watched entranced as her eyes lowered in thought.

“Um…. Well, there's a spot just outside of town that I know of. I can show it to you. It's not far, maybe a fifteen minute drive?”

He cast his eyes up the road once more before he slowly nodded. “Fine.” He straightened his back in an attempt to gain his cool and flicked his head to the back of his bike. “As long as it's quick.”

She nodded and scrambled onto the seat, her small hands gripping into his shirt to get balanced before her slender arms circled around his waist and her warm body nestled perfectly against his cool back. It took everything he had to keep from leaning back to feel more of her and breathe in her heavenly scent.

“Head up this road and get onto the north highway.” Her voice cut into his thoughts.

He gave a small grunt in acknowledgment before kick-starting the engine and heading out of town, neither noticing green eyes gleaming mischievously from an upstairs window.

Within twenty minutes Kagome had led InuYasha to a secluded park that was gated off to visitors. The park was obviously closed. In the dark haze of the summer's night it looked almost formidable. Frowning at the closed gate, InuYasha manoeuvred the bike around the dirt lot as if to leave before her warm breath tickled his cold ear.

“Park here, we'll have to walk the rest of the way.”

He complied and parked the bike, turning it off rather reluctantly. Cool air rushed against his back as Kagome slid off, leaving him suddenly aching for her comfort as she moved away. It was nice having her against him, especially in this eerie area. Scowling at his uneasiness, he slowly got off the bike and looked warily around.

“What is this place?”

“It's an ancient shrine. My grandfather brought me here many times when I was a child.” Kagome answered softly as if her voice would disturb even the smallest blade of grass. “The monk that ran the temple died many years ago, and the city didn't have the funds to keep the shrine open. So here it rests. It's been empty for almost fifty years.”

“And you like to hang out here?” He gave her an uncertain glance.

Kagome giggled. “Well, never at night, but I'm sure it's just as beautiful now as it is during the day. Come, I'll show you.” She took his hand and led him into the park, disappearing into the foliage of the weeping trees that grew almost as if entwined with each other.

InuYasha was practically blind under the shadowed canopy, guided entirely by Kagome's touch, yet he never stumbled or hit anything along the way. He wouldn't have noticed anyways. His hand was gripped so warmly and tenderly in hers that it was hard to notice anything else. Eventually they made it out of the grove of trees to stand on an ancient looking walkway made of flat stones separated by brimming green moss.

Kagome's hand pulled gently away from his, making him finally aware of their surroundings. He looked guardedly around as she walked out into a courtyard shrouded in faint moonlight before turning back to him.

“This was the central garden.” She lifted her hand revealing the various overgrown flowers whose blossoms were closed tight against the chill of the night before pointing to a place strewn with ivy. “And through there is what I wanted to show you.”

InuYasha's eyes danced quickly over the courtyard, taking in the various plants and stone engravings of the small wooden shrine before he followed her finger to a large wooden archway. It was gripped by dripping ivy and hanging blossoms and looked almost as if those plants were the very things holding it together. Beyond the barrier of the frame it looked pitch black and it gave him an ominous feeling.

His eyes flicked from the archway to Kagome and back. “We're not seriously going in there are we?”

Her brow lifted and her lips turned in a teasing grin. “Why? Are you frightened?”

He scowled. “No! But this place is old. I'm not about to risk my neck falling into some well or something.”

Kagome snickered. “The groundskeeper still works here during the day. He keeps it up to par. This site is still public during the day, so there isn't anything to worry about. It's not…haunted.” She gave him a wry smirk.

InuYasha's scowl deepened. “Funny. So are we going in there or not?”

She cast her eyes to the archway. “Well, it's what we came for.” She stepped lightly to the doorway where her hair was quickly buffeted in the wind that blew up from the other side of the arch. She shivered in spite of herself.

InuYasha smirked as he came up behind her and bent low to her ear. “Scared?”

She turned and her brilliant blue eyes stared into his like twin diamonds. “Not anymore,” she whispered then disappeared into the shadows of the archway.

InuYasha's chest constricted at her words, stunned at what they could mean, but had not the courage to ask. Scanning his eyes once more over the wooden archway, he stepped inside to barely make out a small flight of stairs heading down. A canopy of flowering ivy acted as a roof to the passageway, letting in just a small fraction of light to see his way down. His gaze quickly grew accustomed to the frail light only to find that Kagome was nowhere in sight.

Frowning, he quickly headed down the stairs, keeping his hand against the wooden wall to follow it to its end. It wasn't more than twenty feet when he arrived at the shore of a softly lapping, black lake where he stopped still.

He stood silent in slight awe at its serenity and haunting tranquillity. Several trees and flowering bushes dripped down to its surface, and the moist foggy wind scattered wilted white petals of moonflowers upon its surface before they sank like dying stars. A fine mist swirled above the water and spread out into the dank distance, creating a very desolate and secluded haven.

A soft hush echoed over by his side and InuYasha gazed to the shoreline at his right to see Kagome sit quietly down on a stone bench a few feet from the edge.

A tender breeze lifted the fog-spotted silkiness of her hair and the smell of wild lilies barely hinted against his nose from the lake. He watched silently as she gazed out distractedly at the water, yet her eyes seemed to be seeing within. She looked so peaceful, like a fallen angel waiting for the end of time.

Breathing slowly out, InuYasha stepped carefully over the dew-stained walkway to the soft grass where she waited, anxiously hoping not to make a sound that would break the silence that touched everything. He looked down at her a few moments before he sat quietly next to her and stared out at the lake, unsure what to say or do now that he was there. Time seemed to pass without words, and he became more and more aware of her warmth that flickered against his chilled skin like a small light in the darkness.

A soft sigh mingled into the night as Kagome shifted closer to his body and InuYasha tensed as her soft sweater grazed the hairs on his bare arm. Every hint of a touch made him hyperaware and it took everything within him not to move to feel her more fully.

Unknowing to his inner turmoil, Kagome leaned forward enough to better see the edge of the water by the slope of the grassy knoll.

“It's beautiful.” She turned her heavenly eyes up at him. “Don't you think?”

InuYasha turned to meet her gaze and nodded once. Very beautiful.

“I come here whenever I need to think. It's the perfect spot to put things into perspective.” She drifted her gaze around the lake, taking in the outline of forest and bramble on the other side. “During the day it's a sanctuary for many who are searching for answers, using its power to bring inner peace, but tonight… tonight it's as it should be. No offerings, no bells, no prayers, just the lake, the land and the sky.”

She slowly closed her eyes and breathed in the cool night air. InuYasha watched her for a long moment before turning to look out at the rippling water where his eyes unconsciously observed a leaf float by like a boat on the waves. He had to admit, this place was nice.

He lifted his nose slightly to breath in the fresh air, enjoying the small rush as the cooling wind filled his lungs. When was the last time he smelled a lake or flowers or … his gaze turned to Kagome on the sly… the smell of sweet mist?

Almost as if she knew the desire of his thoughts, she tilted her head slightly to better see a bubble on the water, bringing her vanilla fragrance closer to his senses. His eyes shut involuntarily and he had to grip the seat below him to keep from reaching out and bringing those tresses to his eager nose and mouth, aching to breathe and feel her softness.

A soft giggle from Kagome brought him out of his stupor and he blinked heavily out at the onyx lake in front of them, slightly embarrassed at his lack of composure. Yet thankfully Kagome didn't seem to notice.

“This place still reminds me of my grandfather.” She looked up at him fondly. “He often brought me here. He always wanted me to get into my family roots. He thought I had some sort of priestess power and was destined to carry on our Shrine duties.” She flushed. “But I thought he was being crazy. I had other things in mind. School, friends, boys….”

InuYasha bit back the tang of jealousy in his gut and he stared contritely out at the water without saying a word, though his ears strained to pick up every word she spoke.

“I didn't believe in the old ways. I didn't want to carry that responsibility. I just wanted to be a teenager.” A corner of her lips dipped down in a slight frown. “I often ignored his stories and legends. And I was so ashamed when he brought out trinkets and sutras he said warded off demons to show the tourists. He was always dallying in the weirdest things.” She gave InuYasha a wry glance. “He gave me a kappa hand for my fifteenth birthday, or that's what he thought it was. To me it looked like a grizzled monkey paw. It was so gross.”

InuYasha lifted a brow though he could not bring himself to look at her. “Well, if that doesn't say love nothing will.” He muttered sarcastically.

Kagome busted into giggles. “It wasn't love that he spouted when he found out I gave the paw to my cat Buyo. Nor was my mother happy at the surprise Buyo left all over the living room after he ate it.”

InuYasha snorted on a laugh and flicked his eyes out at the water. “At least it was a birthday you wouldn't forget.”

“No.” Her smile faded. “That day would be impossible to forget.”

InuYasha glanced over at her subdued face and frowned. What the hell happened? Was it something he said? He gripped the stone seat beneath him, unsure what to do now. He was never good with these types of situations. In fact he made it a point to leave before these situations came to this point. But for some reason he couldn't possess himself to go. Instead, he let out a deep breath.

“So… what's the point of this place?”

Kagome blinked out of her thoughts and looked up at him. She shrugged slightly. “It's a place to find yourself.”

InuYasha frowned in confusion. “Find yourself.” He repeated disbelievingly.

Kagome nodded. “Of all the stories and things my grandfather did, taking me here was my most favourite. When we came, we would just walk in silence. I'm sure my grandfather expected it to be a place where I would meditate on my life and my direction, but to me, it was a place that I shared with him. Here, we wouldn't argue about the past or expect anything about the future. It was just being in the now and letting ourselves be ourselves.”

InuYasha watched her warily from the corner of his eye as she stared out at the water. Her face held no pretences or accusations towards him, nor did she seem to hold a hidden agenda. It was as if she really meant what she said.

He began to ease somewhat and let his eyes wander once more around him, taking in the outline of the small forest and gardens. The place did seem to hold a sense of space where time stood still. The past and future didn't fit here, and as he sat did he notice how quiet it really was. No sound of traffic or city life marred the night, no smells of carbon or industry or tar, and no signs of garbage or human activity, aside from the bench they sat on, touched any part of this place. It was a place out of reality, as if it was unknown to the world outside. It was a piece of Japan, its true piece, hidden behind the steel and walls that were built all around it.

The pure heart of it all, InuYasha blinked in amazement before Kagome's voice brought him back to where they were.

“It's the silence.” She murmured. “It makes even the smallest thought loud enough to hear.” She turned to look up at the shrine behind them, hidden behind the whips of the willow trees. “So when people come here, they can't avoid the silence, and they can't avoid their own thoughts. It's rather hard to avoid yourself when you're the only one talking. It's a good place to find one's self.”

InuYasha frowned suddenly and his eyes narrowed slightly. “Is that why you brought me here? You thought I needed to find myself?” He knew there had to be a reason.

Kagome's eyes drifted down from the shrine to gaze directly into him, making him sit back slightly in silent rebuke even though she held no animosity in her expression. She shook her head softly. “No.” She turned her face out towards the lake. “To be honest I've never brought anyone here before.”

He sat up slightly and leaned closer to her, feeling an odd sense of pleasure at her saying that. “Really?”

A shy smile spread across her lips. “You're the first.”

And hopefully the last, a small voice rang from his gut. “So why did you bring me?”

Kagome blushed slightly and she refused to look up at him. “I don't really know. When I saw you tonight, it just felt like a place we needed to go. I felt we needed a change.” She tilted her head slightly and a sense of tranquillity poured over her expression. “Incipit vita nova.”

InuYasha's brow furrowed as he looked up at her. “What does that mean?”

Her eyes fell to the grass below yet the small smile remained on her lips. “It was something my dad used to say before he died. No matter what the day had brought him, no matter the pain he had to suffer or endure, he would wake up the next morning and say it to himself. It means `Here begins a new life.'”

InuYasha stared down at her in confusion. Her father? She never spoke of him before. Until then he had assumed her mother was divorced or something. His eyes lowered shamefully. Yet another thing he never bothered to know about her. And even now he was too much of a coward to ask.

“I never understood what that meant until now.” She whispered.

“What does it mean?” He murmured in spite of himself, unsure of what to do other than let her speak.

“That what was can never be again.” Her tranquil eyes captured his own. “And what is should be as is… every moment a new beginning.”

A new beginning. How easy she made it all sound. He just wished that it was at all possible. Making a new beginning meant letting go of an old life and there was no way he could make a new anything when he had to live his past mistakes.

He shook his head and snorted as he stood up to glare down at the water's edge. “Sounds nice and all, but in the real world nothing changes.” His face turned tired yet stern. “No matter how much you want them to.”

“I guess,” her voice sounded so soft that he almost missed it within the summer night breeze. “But maybe change can only be seen if the heart of the beholder has changed.”

“I doubt it.” He growled. “You think too much of people. People don't change unless they have to.”

“Perhaps.” Kagome mused as she searched his taut back. “But when it happens, it happens without them even knowing.”

“That fast, huh?” He scowled sourly down at the water.

Kagome nodded and looked up at the sky. “Change hangs by a moment.”

InuYasha stayed silent as he stared down at her reflection in the water before he blinked slowly and turned away. What she was saying was true to a point, change was inevitable. But how many had the ability to change on a whim? Could he change? He wanted to, but what sort of man would he be when, in order to survive, he had to be a man that felt nothing at all?

He softly kicked a small pebble into the mirrored surface of the lake, distorting his reflection before it settled into the mirror shean once again. For as long as he was able he never let anything in. Hell, he spent his whole life trying to take everything out. And it made him into a creature that had no ability to change, even if he wanted to. No matter what he made himself to be on the outside, he would be exactly who he was on the inside - distrusting, cold….

Lost.

He gazed around the small haven that shrouded the circular pool. Iron, steel and concrete surrounded this place, protected it, kept it from harm - to a point where very few even knew about it. Because of it, it would always remain untouched, uncut, and unhurt. His eyes scanned the rim of the tree tops before falling to the lake below. Wasn't it better that way?

Wasn't it better to keep the heart locked away, so nothing could ever take advantage of it or destroy it? His eyes drifted solemnly to the woman's reflection once more. Even if it meant keeping people out?

He mentally shook his head. He couldn't be like her. He couldn't be what she wanted. To change his heart would mean he would first had to open it. He could be nice to her, he could try to act the part of himself, be the man he was that only his friends knew about. But they never knew his heart. It was a cold black pearl, unable to be broken, unable to be manipulated….

His eyes drifted up to meet heavenly blue as Kagome came to stand beside him and he felt his heart pound against its cage, igniting a feeling he wanted so desperately to suppress.

A feeling he wanted so desperately to grab a hold of.

No…. He shut his eyes and turned his face away. This couldn't be real. He was unable to love or be loved in kind. He convinced himself of that long ago. It was the reason why his life had to be this way. Without love there would be no pain. He would have complete control. Nothing would be able to tear him down, nothing would be able to find his weakness, and nothing would be able to see him for what he was….

His mouth parted slightly as he clutched his hands to his sides. But then again, nothing would be exactly what he was. He gazed longingly up at the woman beside him. He would be nothing if he gave up everything at that moment.

God, how the hell did he get here? How did it come to this? How did she get so far in? And how can he get her out? He should do what he should've done since he met her. Turn around and leave without a second glance.

Cerulean blue searched deep within troubled amber and a beautiful smile touched the edges of her silken lips. Her scent of sweetness and innocence enveloped him, making him want to fall into a place within her where he can be swallowed up completely.

He blinked slowly and let out a small breath as he cast his face down. Moist wisps of platinum hair fell from his shoulder to hide his face from view. Leave. That's what any coldhearted man would do right now. Leave without whim or care.

Too bad his heart now rested in the palms of her tender hands that lifted his rough chin to face her.

He raised his tepid gaze only to fall deep within her soothing grace, forever bound to her tender smile. His lanquid eyes slowly shut as warm, wet fingers brushed the twisted tendrils of his hair from his chilled cheek. The touch alone brought his true self closer to the surface than he had ever dared let it... and it felt achingly wonderful.

And I'd give up forever to touch you

`Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

Deep amber eyes opened to rest in waves of a tranquil blue sea. A place where only he could go, a place that was only his.

And all I can taste is this moment

And all that I can breathe is your life

`Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

His face fell somewhat to the ground as a silent battle erupted inside his dungeon. Walls he had built shook as his craving for release undermined everything he created to hide himself away. Walls he wasn't ready to tear down for the sake of hope… blind and uncertain hope.

And I don't want the world to see me

`Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

A soft touch on his arm drifted his attention back to the woman before him. Her face was bared to the purpled sky. Her eyes were shut as soft drops of rain began to dampen her flushed cheeks and wavy blue-jet hair, gathering like rivers of tears over her paled but glowing face. She was the embodiment of all that was beautiful and wonderful in the world. It was hard to imagine anything could be less as he gazed upon her.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

Suddenly lightening flashed over them in a moment of false daylight and thunder peeled hard across the sky as the rain streaked down hard, drenching them to the skin. Kagome's gasp and wide frightened eyes turned quickly to one of desperate laughter as she clutched her hands onto his arms to hold steady against the torrent. Yet he never noticed the cold or the water, for all he could see was her.

And I don't want the world to see me

`Cause I don't think that they's understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

The tugging of her hands brought him out of his stupor as she grabbed him and ran for the wooden walkway where they first arrived. Panting from exhileration, both huddled close to each other for warmth as they gazed up at the falling sky.

Small arms tightened around his waist and InuYasha looked down upon the dripping woman who's wide eyes searched the heavens for an end to its fury. She shivered silently under her waterlogged clothes and he instinctually wrapped his strong arms around her, gathering as much heat around her as possible, inadvertantly pulling her closer and harder against him. The smell of rain and her natural scent surrounded him like an aura. Something he never wanted to fade.

Softly, her face turned from the sky to look up at him. Shy eyes blinked the water from her lashes, but her focus never wavered from his. It was like she was looking upon the world, and he wanted nothing more than for to see him…all of him. He as he truly was.

He searched her eyes longingly, imploringly, before he tenderly pulled her wet tresses from her face and brought her damp lips to his in a tender kiss. He would be himself. If only for this moment.

Hot mouths opened to drink away the rain and taste each others' flavour. Desperation and want called from their souls, enough to heat their bodies like fire. Blue white flames flickered against red hot heat, enough to ingite a passion too long pent up, a passion that was wanting to entwine their beings but not quite able. Steam began to form between them, releasing into the night by their touches and breaths. Hands fisted hard into each others' clothing, trying desperately to hang on to one more moment and then another….

InuYasha panted hard against her mouth, trying greedily to gather his breath and kiss her over and over. He couldn't get enough and he knew then he didn't want to. He wanted this moment to last forever, and if he died kissing her, he knew he'd die without regret.

And I don't want the world to see me

`Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

The rain poured down, yet neither felt nor heard it. Two souls as they truly were, bound forever in a moment that would change them both without them even knowing.

And I don't want the world to see me

`Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am….

-+-

But like all good things, it had to pass.

It was a quiet ride as InuYasha drove Kagome home. The rain had quickly subsided and the only sounds coming from the city were of the splashing puddles beneath the red Harley. The passing air chilled their exposed skin, but the heat of their kiss seemed to shield them from its touch.

Kagome rested her cheek against his back, barely seeing the moving buildings and cars as they passed. It was like she was in her own world, and all she could feel was overwhelming love and contentment.

She loved him. She couldn't deny it. She knew after tonight she never would. She loved his smell, his taste, his touch. But most of all she loved the soul of the man she finally felt tonight.

Her hands stroked unconsciously the front of InuYasha's moist shirt, her innocence not noticing the quivers and moans her tender touch created in him.

The kiss they had shared was intense. She never knew any touch could bring her to such heights. She thought for sure she could have gone on and on into forever until he stopped. But the look on his face told her that after tonight it wouldn't end.

Her eyes blinked slowly as the street they were on became familiar and she reluctantly lifted her head. All to soon the bike rumbled to a stop in front of the orphanage. Slowly, she slid from the bike and turned to face the man before her.

His hair was in tattered strands around his face, having been doused by a summer storm and then blown dry by the city wind. She had never seem him look more wild and untamed. Gorgeous.

She bit her lower lip as his eyes searched hers hungrily and he reached out for her. Smiling shyly, she leaned into his touch and met his lips in a soft kiss. It wasn't as electric or as wanting as the kiss they shared only an hour ago, but it still thrilled her like nothing else.

Moaning in regret, InuYasha slowly pulled away from her. His lips lifted in a slight grin at her drowsy eyes and flushed cheeks. He flicked his eyes over to the house and back. “Get some sleep or you'll be useless tomorrow.”

Kagome gave him a wry smirk and smacked him on the shoulder. Even though they had shared something beyond recognition, there were some things that would never change. “Well if it wasn't for you, I'd already be asleep.”

He chuckled slightly at her retailiation and kicked off from the curb. “Whatever. 'Night.”

“'Night.” Kagome smiled as she watched him ride off without a second glance. Yup. Some things never change.

-+-

InuYasha threw his keys tiredly into his can and slowly peeled off his boots. His eyes once more surveyed his apartment to land on the clock above his television. 1:13 am.

He moaned heavily. He knew he should head to bed, but he felt too animated to rest. Something strange happened tonight and he didn't know how to react. That kiss… his body seemed to tingle at the thought. He couldn't get enough and he knew that had he gone all the way it still wouldn't feel complete. He craved something he never knew existed and it was enough to drive him mad. What was it about that girl that stirred such unfamiliar stirrings? What the hell more was it that he wanted?

He swept his hair back in exasperation. She felt like she was in his blood and he could feel her heat pumping hard within his veins. She was an addiction, pure and simple.

His body shivered in pleasure as he remembered every touch she gave. It seemed to sooth the burn and chill he had felt for God knows how long. He felt… his tongue traced over the sweet taste of her on his lips…cleaner….

He snorted at his foolishness and he peeled his damp shirt from his hide. Cleaner. What an odd thing to feel. After sharing a fucking awesome kiss, one that he would have to admit was the greatest damn kiss he ever had, the best feeling he could describe about the after affects was `clean.'

He dropped his shirt to the floor and frowned. But that's what it was. He felt like he was washed of every dirty mess he had gotten himself into. He felt sound, fresh… almost new. He lifted a hand and gazed at it a few moments, turning it back and front. Other than his skin looking white from the cold, it didn't look any different. But it felt different. He felt different.

Sighing, his eyes turned up at the mess of his apartment. Everything was as he left it but even this didn't feel the same, and because of her he knew it never would. It no longer felt right. It made him feel like everything was out of place.

His eyes fell onto the blanket on the couch and he gave it a piercing glare. Leave it for one damn night, one damn moment with that girl to make even his own apartment feel foreign.

Looking around once more he groaned in heavy resolution. There was no escaping it. It had to be done. Slumping his shoulders, he headed into his kitchen and pulled out a stiff rag and an ancient looking cleanser before he slowly went to work at cleaning, something he never thought he'd do.

But tonight he had a change of heart.