InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Demons Within Us ❯ Fight and Fall ( Chapter 37 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: White Dire Wolf 
Strength is only as powerful as the power behind it
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.19.2011 | Pages: 7 | Words: 5.5K | Visits: 1.6K | Status: Completed
Strength is only as powerful as the power behind it
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.19.2011 | Pages: 7 | Words: 5.5K | Visits: 1.6K | Status: Completed
Sesshomaru knocked gently on the bedroom door before stepping into the haphazard room. Several opened boxes lay strewed around and a mound of clothes were jumbled at the foot of the king sized mahogany bed. Resting against its side going through a stack of cd's on the floor was InuYasha.
“Still unpacking? Figured you give it up for the night.”
InuYasha shrugged as a dark frown marred his lips. “Gotta lot to unpack.”
Sess circled around the mess before stopping at the corner desk. Lifting up a small stack of brochures, he glanced over his shoulder. InuYasha continued flipping sullenly through a hand full of disks before tossing them back into the box. “I heard you called Totosai.” Sesshomaru lifted the pamphlets. “Good choice.”
“Keh. Doesn't the old man know about doctor-patient confidentiality?”
Sesshomaru chuckled as he tossed the rehab information back onto the desk and turned to rest against the edge, crossing his arms. “He's an old family friend. He's also a good doctor and, on occasion, a good therapist.”
InuYasha just grunted as he pushed the box away with his foot and pulled himself onto his bed. Grabbing the black cell phone from the mattress, he pressed his back against the headboard and gazed miserably at nothing.
“I take it Miroku called?” Sess asked softly.
InuYasha nodded. “Kagome's awake.”
Sesshomaru tilted his head as he studied his brother. “You're not pleased?”
InuYasha shook his head as he chewed distractedly on his bottom lip. His eyes touched upon various things in the room as he avoided his gaze. “She's not doing good.”
“I see.”
“Yeah.” The younger man fiddled with the phone between his hands, spinning it in circles then used his thumb to smudge away his fingerprints. “She's still being sedated. There's...complications.”
Sesshomaru remained silent as his brother tossed the phone onto the covers and sat higher against the headboard to loop his arms around his legs. Exhaling a silent sigh, Sess moved to follow suit, pushing the clothes out of the way and sat on the bed, mimicking the pose against the baseboard. “Care to tell me about it?”
Catching his eye, InuYasha frowned then scratched his nose and sniffed. “Apparently her heart isn't firing off as it should, but the doctor's think it will correct itself once it heals.”
“That's good.”
InuYasha merely shrugged then let out a short cough. “Her left lung collapsed, which apparently can be fixed. And there's swelling...in her spine from where the bullet lodged. She has no feeling below her waist. They don't know how bad the damage is yet. Once the swelling goes down they might be able to tell.” He let out a long breath as he rubbed his brow. “So she's paralysed.”
Sesshomaru peered long at his brother. “That's not all that's bothering you though.”
He reluctantly shook his head. “Now that she's out of danger...she's back in it. Once Naraku's finds out she's survived, he'll come.”
“...I see.”
The dusky sky from the large bedroom window gave off a cold glow as both became wrapped up in their own thoughts. Sesshomaru never let his eyes wander from his brother's face. The tirade of emotions swept over it like a tide. Indomitable sadness, tireless guilt, and secret heartbreak. All of which swallowed him within that abyss he once called emptiness, when in fact it was always filled with an unquenchable pain of loneliness.
“How much longer will she be punished for my sins?” InuYasha murmured, his golden eyes glistened as they focused on the fading sun.
Sesshomaru's leg fell to the side as he eased back against the cool wood behind him. “How long will you continue to think you've committed any?” He flicked his loose fingers that rested on his upright knee. “Never have you served an injustice against your friends. Only against yourself. And I believe you've been punished enough for that.”
InuYasha swallowed and shook his head. “No, it was never enough.”
“No?”
InuYasha looked defeated as he gazed out the window. “All my life I've given in, because it was the easiest thing to do. I took every opportunity to take any punishment I could find because it hurt and as long as I felt pain I knew I was still human. What you called my strength was really my weakness. I sacrificed myself not to help them but to hurt me. But eventually I couldn't feel anything anymore. Nothing I did against me hurt. I was dead inside, completely numb.” His eyes glittered as he breathed in deep and furiously. “It was because I never stood up for anything. I had nothing to protect. Every time I gave in...I gave up. I gave up, Sess. And that's the greatest sin I ever committed. I have no excuse for it.” He swiped angrily against his eyes. “And she's the one paying for it.”
Sess watched uneasily as InuYasha stared bitterly out the window. “You can't say you never fought for your friends, for her. Everything that has come to pass proves that.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe, but it seemed no matter what I did with her though, she kept getting hurt.”
“Is this why you've stopped visiting her?”
InuYasha looked startled, then turned away uncomfortably. “I did it to protect her.”
“Oh?”
“The less I see her, the less danger she'd be in. Naraku may be biding his time to see what happens. But now that she's awake....”
“You plan on confronting Naraku, don't you.” It was a statement more than a question and InuYasha's eyes hardened.
“I can't wait for him to make his move against Kagome. I'm going after him.”
“Because you still need to be punished?” Sess's voice turned cold.
The fury on the boy's face was unexpected. It wasn't one of offence, but of vindication.
“Ah, I see.” Sess eased back against the footboard. “Now you finally have something to fight for. That's good. That's very good. And how do you plan on making him stop? Short on killing the man, I can't see any other way, and having blood on your hands certainly won't help in the long run.”
“I don't care, but I'm not going to wait around until he strikes again. I've done enough hiding. I have to protect her. As long as he still breathes no one’s safe.”
“And you plan on doing this alone?” Sess lifted a brow.
InuYasha's lips thinned. “I won't put anyone else in danger.”
“And there lies your true weakness.” At seeing his brother's confusion, Sess blinked slowly as if bored. “You give yourself too much power if you think you can do this by yourself. You think you are the only one who wishes to protect her?”
“What?” InuYasha snorted. “Her family? What could they do?”
“They have more power in this than any of you realize.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
Sess shifted his brows in thought. “There is something to be said about weakness. Even the most powerful man has one. Naraku's weakness is believing he has none. By cutting loose ends, he believes he creates an impenetrable wall. What he doesn't see is the crack in his foundation.”
InuYasha growled. “I hate it when you talk in fucking riddles.”
Sess smirked. “Meaning, dear brother, Naraku has gained his power by exploiting the weakness in every strength.” Sess turned to meet his brother's eyes. “While I have gained mine by finding strength in every weakness.”
InuYasha turned his head slightly. “What are you planning?”
“I only ask you to continue to wait.” Sesshomaru gazed out at the coming night. “Things will come to pass. We only need to wait for the foundation to fall.”
“How long are you asking me to wait?”
“Not long. Things are already in motion.”
“You seem pretty sure of that.”
Sess eyed his brother as a slow smile crossed his lips. “Trust me.”
InuYasha's brows furrowed in silent question. “But how do you know?”
“We all have something to fight for, InuYasha.” Sess said as he again turned to see the last light fade. “If we are ever so lucky to find it.”
-+-
“How is she?” Kaede asked the doctor as he stepped quietly out of Kagome's hospital room.
“Resting.” The younger man turned to gaze at Kagome's sleeping form through the large observation window. “Her stats all seem fine, and I'm optimistic that the medication and rest will correct the complications she's facing. But the fact remains, she's entered into a depression.”
“Well, she did face a traumatic experience.” Hojo watched the rhythmic rise and fall of Kagome's chest with the systematic blips of the heart rate monitor beside her. “She could be facing the fact she may never walk again.”
“Perhaps.” The doctor shrugged. “But I'm recommending psychological help. Don't worry, this is common with trauma patients. In time, she may recover.” The man's beeper went off. “I'm sorry, excuse me.” Hojo and Kaede watched as the doctor stepped quickly toward the elevator as it opened, flipping through his chart as he waited for a nurse to exit before disappearing into the dimly lit chrome.
“It's because of him.” Hojo growled as he turned back to the window.
Kaede appeared distracted as she watched the woman in the other room. “Him?”
“InuYasha.” Hojo growled. “If it wasn't for him, Kagome wouldn't be here.”
Kaede sighed and peered over at him. “If it weren't for InuYasha, she wouldn't be here at all. We must remember that InuYasha was not the one who shot her, nor was he the one to put her in that situation. We all know very well the type of person Kagome is. Rash, unpredictable, but always to a point of virtue.” She looked sadly back to the window. “She would have done it for anyone. But it was InuYasha who needed her the most. And it is InuYasha who she needs now.”
Hojo practically sputtered in indignation as he rounded on his surrogate mother. “You can't be serious, Kaede. That's the last person she needs. Why else would she be so depressed?”
“Because she doesn't know why he hasn't come. Her heart breaks when she wakes, and she sees not him, but others watching her. She loves him, Hojo. And no pain is greater than that taken away.”
Hojo peered back at the sleeping girl before him. He swallowed hard as he watched her eyelids flutter in dreams. “She's been awake for a week. Why isn't he here?”
Kaede could only shake her head before a sharp clink of metal falling on the floor had her turn to the nurse who was stooping to pick up an instrument off the floor. The woman's expression seemed perturbed at seeing a group of teenagers hurdle out of the elevator.
“Kaede?”
The old woman was stunned to see children from the Shikon House approach her. “Kohaku? Kanna, Souta, Shippou, Jim? Why are you out of the house, isn't it a school night?”
“It's winter break, remember?” Kohaku nodded toward the room they all faced. “It's our turn to keep Kagome company if she should wake through the night.”
“Yes, of course.” She looked at each child as they settled on the various sofas in the private waiting area Sesshomaru had graciously provided. She frowned as Shippou flicked on the large flat screen television while the girls helped themselves in the small kitchen area. “Are you sure you want to give up another night to be here?”
“It's alright, Kaede.” Kohaku shrugged with a subtle smirk on his face, knowing her anxious thoughts. “It's not like we're going to bother anyone. The place is practically sound proof. Besides, it wasn't like we had much else to do. Why don't you head home, get some rest. Ayame said you've been here since dawn.”
Kaede turned to look solemnly through the window to gaze at Kagome. “I don't know. What if she should need me?”
“We're here.” Kanna placed her warm hand her arm. Kaede peered up at the young woman beside her. Kanna had taken the dye from her hair so it shone brilliantly white like a halo under the lights. Her cool skin seemed to glow like the winter snow that still settled her. The only thing earthly about the girl was the dark eyes that watched her with concerned logic.
Kaede patted her hand and gestured to the room. “I'm sure she would appreciate you being here.”
The kids eventually quieted as they watched a movie and munched on popcorn, seemingly oblivious to the adults behind them.
“Are you sure they should be in there?” Hojo frowned as he pulled his jacket on over his shoulders.
Kaede nodded with a soft smile. “Yes. She needs to have someone here with her. Where she is emotionally isn't a good place. Maybe their happiness will be enough to bring her some peace.”
The young man just grunted. “I'm going down to warm up the car. Are you coming?”
She waved him off. “I'll be down shortly. I just want to pray for a moment.”
She felt more than saw his nod as he left and she settled herself next the window as she soon became accustomed to the children's quiet giggles and banter. Silently she prayed as she looked upon Kagome, her tousled hair spread like a fan on her pillow. If it weren't for the oxygen prongs and monitors, she could almost believe she was watching the dear girl sleep as she once did at home. She let out a sad sigh before a shadow next to her caught her attention. She turned to see the nurse stop as she stared at the children.
“I hope you don't mind.” Kaede smiled. “They don't want Kagome to be alone at night. I promise you they won't be in your way.”
The nurse looked pale but managed to give a small nod. Her eyes riveted to one child in particular. Kaede followed her gaze and grinned.
“Beautiful, isn't she?”
The nurse faltered as she looked at Kaede then back. She remained silent though her lips parted.
Kaede smiled lovingly at Kanna. “She came to us when she was five or six years old. A skinny child with cuts and bruises. She was found beaten on the streets, no doubt because of what she looked like. She was such a timid thing when she finally came to the orphanage. The only thing she had was a dirty dress and a name.” Kaede hummed as she watched Kanna dodge popcorn thrown at her by Kohaku, her silken hair drifted like feathers as she laughed. “It was Kagome that took her under her wing. She understood what it meant to be different because of appearances. But for a little girl who believed she was ugly and unwanted, she needed someone like Kagome to make her see where her own beauty came from.” She ushered to the window. “She looks a lot like her, though. Don't you think?”
The nurse's jaw trembled as she swallowed, her wide eyes moving from the woman on the bed to the albino. Kaede watched her for a few moments before turning back to the children. She grinned as she noticed Kohaku blush when Kanna reached up to brush popcorn from his hair. “I can see Kagome in her sometimes, especially when she smiles.”
A choked sound came from the woman beside her before the nurse managed to clear her throat. “Her eyes....”
“I know. It's very rare to see such eyes with this disorder. I've never seen eyes so dark.”
The nurse licked her dry lips. She continued to watch the girl laugh and stood still when Kanna turned to gaze at her in curiosity before Kohaku distracted her with a poke in the side. “She...looks happy.”
“Kanna? Why yes, she's very happy.”
“Kanna?” The woman repeated.
“Yes. An unusual name, wouldn't you say?”
“It...it was my mother's name.”
Kaede started and turned to the woman, only to see the flow of long brown hair as the nurse walked silently toward the exit.
-+-
Kagome awoke to a distant hum of voices. Groggily she centred her attention on it, trying to make sense of what had roused her.
“I apologize if I woke you.”
Kagome blinked her eyes open and peered tiredly over to the man who was standing at the foot of her bed, muting the television hanging on the wall.
“Sesshomaru?” She rasped, rubbing her eyes with heavy hands.
“Good morning, Miss Higurashi, or should I say good afternoon.”
Kagome struggled to push her body up, feeling the odd weight of her numbed legs drag up the bed. The subtle hum of the head of the bed rising had her lay back down as Sesshomaru helped adjust her bed and get her comfortable. “Thank you, but wh-what are you doing here?”
“A lot has happened while you've been asleep. I thought it fitting to see you to help you catch up.” He nodded to her bedside table. “I brought you breakfast, as I've seen what the cafeteria provides.”
Kagome turned to see a variety of food scattered on the table, along with three different beverages to choose from, each with a straw in it. She eyed the steaming hot chocolate with a slight flare of her nostrils before reaching for the apple juice to rinse her mouth and sooth her parched throat. “I appreciate all this, but I still don't understand...why did you say you were here?”
He pointed to the television with the remote and pushed the volume button. “See for yourself.”
'Onigumo was found dead on the floor of his bedroom along with his assistant, Kikyo Sato, in what appears to have been a murder/suicide. Detectives have not yet released more information about the scene, but the incident does happen on the cusp of a mysterious package that arrived at police headquarters that linked Onigumo with various drug trafficking and mafia ties that had once been believed to be headed by Akio Taisho, who, if you recall, was found murdered in his office over a decade ago. With this new evidence, a formal apology is expected to be made public, vindicating the Taisho family-'
“Whoa, wait!” Kagome held up a trembling hand in shock. “Naraku is dead?”
Sesshomaru nodded once. “It appears so.”
Kagome shook her head. “But, I don't understand. How?”
The handsome man lifted a brow as a sly smirk settled on the corner of his mouth. “Why, because of you.”
“Me?”
“You seem to be the catalyst for quite a number of things,” the man chuckled not unkindly. “I'm rather curious to see what else will snowball because of your footsteps.”
Kagome's eyes danced around the room as her mouth opened then shut. “I...I'm having a hard time understanding what's going on.”
“Which is why I'm here.” Sesshomaru walked silently toward the door and shut it before settling himself on a plush chair next to her bed. “You see, you had a visitor last night.”
“I did?”
“Several, actually, but two of which matter most at the moment. You see, last night Kikyo arrived disguised as a nurse.”
“What!” Kagome's heart rate monitor spiked and she turned to shut off the alarm, sick of it's incessant beeping. “Why?”
“It seems you have a habit of surviving against the odds.” He smiled. “As well as having connections with the most unlikely people.”
Kagome inhaled softly and slowly, trying to relax her fluttering heart. “I've been realizing that. So Kikyo was sent to finish me off? Who was my unlikely rescuer?”
“Kanna.”
Eyes wide, Kagome reached across her bed in dire need of reassurance. “Kanna? What did she do? Is she okay?”
“Perfectly fine and none the wiser. Her main role in all of this was just to be there.”
Kagome let her hand drop as her weakened body slumped deeper into the bed. “I think,” she licked her dried lips, “that you'll need to explain in detail.”
Sesshomaru reached over the table to grasp a steaming cup of tea and took a small sip. “Fifteen years ago, Kikyo was sent to be cared for by Naraku. When the man was still considered a fine upstanding gentleman, his chief assistant had proclaimed him guardian of his only daughter. When the assistant passed away due to unusual circumstances, Naraku became sole guardian of a twelve year old girl. I cannot reveal the full extent of his abuse to her, but within a year, a child was born to Kikyo, an albino.”
Kagome's mouth floundered as she grasped everything that Sesshomaru was saying. “Naraku raped Kikyo when she was only twelve years old and-?”
“Kanna is their daughter. Yes.”
“No,” she shook her head once, then again more quickly. “No, there's no way....”
“As disturbing as it is, yes there is.” He took a longer sip of his tea. “Naraku claimed to have adopted the child in the media's eye, but very little was known about the truth, nor what he did to them behind closed doors. About five years later, when Kikyo turned eighteen, she ran off with Kanna, no doubt wanting to protect her daughter from the abuse. Suffice to say, no one leaves Naraku and he had her found, but not without teaching her a lesson.” He eyed his cup for a moment. “He had the child beaten and thrown into the streets to die. He had Kikyo believe she was dead and made no doubt on whom Kikyo belonged. He trained her well.”
“Kanna....” Kagome's mind flashed with every possible thought, unable to piece together a coherent question.
“Was raised to be a very happy and healthy young woman, despite who her parents were.”
Her head shook in numbed denial. “Did...how did...why was she...?”
“A few of the older children came to spend the night with you, should you need company. It was fortuitous they arrived when they had. A group of teenagers are hard to overlook in such a place,” Sess looked pointedly at her, “especially one as uncommon as Kanna.”
Kagome searched his face. “Kikyo recognized her?”
He cleared his throat. “I happened to have the pleasure of meeting Kanna at your party a few months ago. She had very unusual eyes for an albino. Dark to a point of black. They were very hard to ignore or forget. I would say Kikyo knew those eyes quite well, as she had seen them every day in someone else.”
Kagome flicked her eyes up at the television before turning back to him. “You orchestrated all of this.”
“I had very little to do with it.” He shrugged. “I merely made a few phone calls.”
Flexing her fingers on top her bed sheet, Kagome studied her stats on the machine. “How... how did you know it would happen like this?”
“Naraku hates loose ends. Every weakness discovered must be destroyed.” His voice turned a chilling brass. “I have a daughter as well. One whom I'd kill for. It seems Kikyo felt the same way.”
A lone tear trickled down her temple and she closed her eyes to stem the flow. “Kikyo caused so much pain... and after everything, I can't hate her. I am sad... I'm sad that she died this way.”
“She found her redemption,” Sesshomaru said. “The only thing that is sad is that no one will know why she did it.”
Kagome turned to face the man beside her. “I will.”
He nodded and a silence permeated the room. The beeps and whoosh of her machines seemed to grow louder with each passing second as her mind spiralled. She would always remember. She didn't think there would ever be a time where her heart wouldn't crack a little at thinking about the pain suffered at the hands of one man - one she had never met, but had been so much apart of her life as anyone else.
She turned to the television to see the meteorologist talk about the weather. Life went on with very few the wiser. Except she knew she'd never be the same. How much was tied and connected with her? It was near impossible to believe it wasn't all divinely conducted. But what if one simple choice wasn't made to make none of this happen? What if she never took the chance to step into that rehearsal hall and looked into those haunted eyes?
Kagome blinked tiredly as she let in a weary breath.
“H-how is he?”
Sesshomaru sighed. “Alive, thanks to you.”
The juts of oxygen being sprayed into her lungs made her throat dry and it suddenly hurt to breathe. Kagome swallowed hard as she waited for him to say something, anything, but his silence spoke volumes. She turned her head away and struggled to pull in a deeper breath. “Thanks to me...”
“Don't take his lack of being here a sign he doesn't think of you.”
“No,” she murmured, “I can understand it being too hard.”
“More than you realize. He has his reasons, but I can't make excuses for him. Just...give him time.”
A faint twitch on her lips signalled a half-hearted smile but it never made it. She tucked her blankets higher up her chest, feeling the thick cotton bandages under her hospital gown that covered the tender stitches. She wished she could say she understood. She wished she could believe every excuse she made for him. But the fact remained, she lay here hurt and tired and weak. And all she wanted was to see him, for him to see her. To make it worth it.
The elevated beeps of the machine brought her attention to the screen to see her blood pressure and oxygen levels rise before the hot tears streaming down her face made her realize she was crying. With no sudden control, she felt a shuddering sob pass her lips and her chest shook with the strain to take in extra air.
“Kagome,” Sesshomaru was immediately by her side, tucking her hair away from her face, “please....”
The gentle touch had her sob harder, because it wasn't his hands she wanted, or his words begging her to stop. She couldn't even if she tried. She shut her eyes and just cried, gritting her teeth against the pain, both physically and emotionally. She didn't know how long she cried. She was convinced she could cry forever.
She just couldn't fight it anymore.
-+-
A/N Hey all, sorry for the delay. The boy caught a cold then an ear infection, and to top it all off my husband left for training for a month, so I'm Dad and Mom for the next few weeks. Not so bad, I don't have to cook as much and there is a significant decrease in laundry and increase in teaspoons.
On a lighter note, Alex (my son) is doing very well. He's three now and is FINALLY potty trained, and was rated to have a 4-5 year old intelligence, so he's ahead by a year or two. He's also learning to dress himself and be more self able even though his left arm and hand are weak from the cerebral palsy. I'm doing fine. Aside from husband being gone for 6 months last year, taking my beloved laptop with him, I kept busy with archaeology digs and Alex. When husband came home I spontaneously lost sight in one eye during the summer which made for killer headaches and no depth perception, it also hurt to read let alone write. Most of my sight has come back, but not fully. I'm still being tested to find the cause, possibly MS, but could also just be a fluke thing. Then horrors of horrors my laptop of one year died on me, so after two months of waiting, Sony gave me another, add to a big thumbs up on extended warranty. Other than that, life is good, we moved into a new quarters on base, one level so Alex doesn't have to worry about stairs and we got a Lab puppy to train to be his helper...well, once they stop rolling around the floor like a dusty tumbleweed. Not sure which one is in time out more. So yeah, like I said, Husband is gone again for training, and will be leaving overseas this summer and will be home in the fall. So I'm writing hardcore now to keep the days going fast. And to help me keep contact with some sense of sanity. Remember, have a three year old and a lab pup beneath my feet. The sad thing is, DWU is almost done. And I feel I'm about to say goodbye to an old friend.
Anyways...songs to inspire me this chapter! Hear You Me – Jimmy Eat World and 9 Crimes – Damien Rice. Sometimes I so wish to put songs into the chapter I'm writing at the time but I've found as I wrote they tend to get in the way of the story, so you can listen as you read, or be like me and find a good Final Fantasy video with the song and just sigh.
Anyways, next chapter starting tomorrow! Live, love and laugh!
WDW
“Still unpacking? Figured you give it up for the night.”
InuYasha shrugged as a dark frown marred his lips. “Gotta lot to unpack.”
Sess circled around the mess before stopping at the corner desk. Lifting up a small stack of brochures, he glanced over his shoulder. InuYasha continued flipping sullenly through a hand full of disks before tossing them back into the box. “I heard you called Totosai.” Sesshomaru lifted the pamphlets. “Good choice.”
“Keh. Doesn't the old man know about doctor-patient confidentiality?”
Sesshomaru chuckled as he tossed the rehab information back onto the desk and turned to rest against the edge, crossing his arms. “He's an old family friend. He's also a good doctor and, on occasion, a good therapist.”
InuYasha just grunted as he pushed the box away with his foot and pulled himself onto his bed. Grabbing the black cell phone from the mattress, he pressed his back against the headboard and gazed miserably at nothing.
“I take it Miroku called?” Sess asked softly.
InuYasha nodded. “Kagome's awake.”
Sesshomaru tilted his head as he studied his brother. “You're not pleased?”
InuYasha shook his head as he chewed distractedly on his bottom lip. His eyes touched upon various things in the room as he avoided his gaze. “She's not doing good.”
“I see.”
“Yeah.” The younger man fiddled with the phone between his hands, spinning it in circles then used his thumb to smudge away his fingerprints. “She's still being sedated. There's...complications.”
Sesshomaru remained silent as his brother tossed the phone onto the covers and sat higher against the headboard to loop his arms around his legs. Exhaling a silent sigh, Sess moved to follow suit, pushing the clothes out of the way and sat on the bed, mimicking the pose against the baseboard. “Care to tell me about it?”
Catching his eye, InuYasha frowned then scratched his nose and sniffed. “Apparently her heart isn't firing off as it should, but the doctor's think it will correct itself once it heals.”
“That's good.”
InuYasha merely shrugged then let out a short cough. “Her left lung collapsed, which apparently can be fixed. And there's swelling...in her spine from where the bullet lodged. She has no feeling below her waist. They don't know how bad the damage is yet. Once the swelling goes down they might be able to tell.” He let out a long breath as he rubbed his brow. “So she's paralysed.”
Sesshomaru peered long at his brother. “That's not all that's bothering you though.”
He reluctantly shook his head. “Now that she's out of danger...she's back in it. Once Naraku's finds out she's survived, he'll come.”
“...I see.”
The dusky sky from the large bedroom window gave off a cold glow as both became wrapped up in their own thoughts. Sesshomaru never let his eyes wander from his brother's face. The tirade of emotions swept over it like a tide. Indomitable sadness, tireless guilt, and secret heartbreak. All of which swallowed him within that abyss he once called emptiness, when in fact it was always filled with an unquenchable pain of loneliness.
“How much longer will she be punished for my sins?” InuYasha murmured, his golden eyes glistened as they focused on the fading sun.
Sesshomaru's leg fell to the side as he eased back against the cool wood behind him. “How long will you continue to think you've committed any?” He flicked his loose fingers that rested on his upright knee. “Never have you served an injustice against your friends. Only against yourself. And I believe you've been punished enough for that.”
InuYasha swallowed and shook his head. “No, it was never enough.”
“No?”
InuYasha looked defeated as he gazed out the window. “All my life I've given in, because it was the easiest thing to do. I took every opportunity to take any punishment I could find because it hurt and as long as I felt pain I knew I was still human. What you called my strength was really my weakness. I sacrificed myself not to help them but to hurt me. But eventually I couldn't feel anything anymore. Nothing I did against me hurt. I was dead inside, completely numb.” His eyes glittered as he breathed in deep and furiously. “It was because I never stood up for anything. I had nothing to protect. Every time I gave in...I gave up. I gave up, Sess. And that's the greatest sin I ever committed. I have no excuse for it.” He swiped angrily against his eyes. “And she's the one paying for it.”
Sess watched uneasily as InuYasha stared bitterly out the window. “You can't say you never fought for your friends, for her. Everything that has come to pass proves that.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe, but it seemed no matter what I did with her though, she kept getting hurt.”
“Is this why you've stopped visiting her?”
InuYasha looked startled, then turned away uncomfortably. “I did it to protect her.”
“Oh?”
“The less I see her, the less danger she'd be in. Naraku may be biding his time to see what happens. But now that she's awake....”
“You plan on confronting Naraku, don't you.” It was a statement more than a question and InuYasha's eyes hardened.
“I can't wait for him to make his move against Kagome. I'm going after him.”
“Because you still need to be punished?” Sess's voice turned cold.
The fury on the boy's face was unexpected. It wasn't one of offence, but of vindication.
“Ah, I see.” Sess eased back against the footboard. “Now you finally have something to fight for. That's good. That's very good. And how do you plan on making him stop? Short on killing the man, I can't see any other way, and having blood on your hands certainly won't help in the long run.”
“I don't care, but I'm not going to wait around until he strikes again. I've done enough hiding. I have to protect her. As long as he still breathes no one’s safe.”
“And you plan on doing this alone?” Sess lifted a brow.
InuYasha's lips thinned. “I won't put anyone else in danger.”
“And there lies your true weakness.” At seeing his brother's confusion, Sess blinked slowly as if bored. “You give yourself too much power if you think you can do this by yourself. You think you are the only one who wishes to protect her?”
“What?” InuYasha snorted. “Her family? What could they do?”
“They have more power in this than any of you realize.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
Sess shifted his brows in thought. “There is something to be said about weakness. Even the most powerful man has one. Naraku's weakness is believing he has none. By cutting loose ends, he believes he creates an impenetrable wall. What he doesn't see is the crack in his foundation.”
InuYasha growled. “I hate it when you talk in fucking riddles.”
Sess smirked. “Meaning, dear brother, Naraku has gained his power by exploiting the weakness in every strength.” Sess turned to meet his brother's eyes. “While I have gained mine by finding strength in every weakness.”
InuYasha turned his head slightly. “What are you planning?”
“I only ask you to continue to wait.” Sesshomaru gazed out at the coming night. “Things will come to pass. We only need to wait for the foundation to fall.”
“How long are you asking me to wait?”
“Not long. Things are already in motion.”
“You seem pretty sure of that.”
Sess eyed his brother as a slow smile crossed his lips. “Trust me.”
InuYasha's brows furrowed in silent question. “But how do you know?”
“We all have something to fight for, InuYasha.” Sess said as he again turned to see the last light fade. “If we are ever so lucky to find it.”
-+-
“How is she?” Kaede asked the doctor as he stepped quietly out of Kagome's hospital room.
“Resting.” The younger man turned to gaze at Kagome's sleeping form through the large observation window. “Her stats all seem fine, and I'm optimistic that the medication and rest will correct the complications she's facing. But the fact remains, she's entered into a depression.”
“Well, she did face a traumatic experience.” Hojo watched the rhythmic rise and fall of Kagome's chest with the systematic blips of the heart rate monitor beside her. “She could be facing the fact she may never walk again.”
“Perhaps.” The doctor shrugged. “But I'm recommending psychological help. Don't worry, this is common with trauma patients. In time, she may recover.” The man's beeper went off. “I'm sorry, excuse me.” Hojo and Kaede watched as the doctor stepped quickly toward the elevator as it opened, flipping through his chart as he waited for a nurse to exit before disappearing into the dimly lit chrome.
“It's because of him.” Hojo growled as he turned back to the window.
Kaede appeared distracted as she watched the woman in the other room. “Him?”
“InuYasha.” Hojo growled. “If it wasn't for him, Kagome wouldn't be here.”
Kaede sighed and peered over at him. “If it weren't for InuYasha, she wouldn't be here at all. We must remember that InuYasha was not the one who shot her, nor was he the one to put her in that situation. We all know very well the type of person Kagome is. Rash, unpredictable, but always to a point of virtue.” She looked sadly back to the window. “She would have done it for anyone. But it was InuYasha who needed her the most. And it is InuYasha who she needs now.”
Hojo practically sputtered in indignation as he rounded on his surrogate mother. “You can't be serious, Kaede. That's the last person she needs. Why else would she be so depressed?”
“Because she doesn't know why he hasn't come. Her heart breaks when she wakes, and she sees not him, but others watching her. She loves him, Hojo. And no pain is greater than that taken away.”
Hojo peered back at the sleeping girl before him. He swallowed hard as he watched her eyelids flutter in dreams. “She's been awake for a week. Why isn't he here?”
Kaede could only shake her head before a sharp clink of metal falling on the floor had her turn to the nurse who was stooping to pick up an instrument off the floor. The woman's expression seemed perturbed at seeing a group of teenagers hurdle out of the elevator.
“Kaede?”
The old woman was stunned to see children from the Shikon House approach her. “Kohaku? Kanna, Souta, Shippou, Jim? Why are you out of the house, isn't it a school night?”
“It's winter break, remember?” Kohaku nodded toward the room they all faced. “It's our turn to keep Kagome company if she should wake through the night.”
“Yes, of course.” She looked at each child as they settled on the various sofas in the private waiting area Sesshomaru had graciously provided. She frowned as Shippou flicked on the large flat screen television while the girls helped themselves in the small kitchen area. “Are you sure you want to give up another night to be here?”
“It's alright, Kaede.” Kohaku shrugged with a subtle smirk on his face, knowing her anxious thoughts. “It's not like we're going to bother anyone. The place is practically sound proof. Besides, it wasn't like we had much else to do. Why don't you head home, get some rest. Ayame said you've been here since dawn.”
Kaede turned to look solemnly through the window to gaze at Kagome. “I don't know. What if she should need me?”
“We're here.” Kanna placed her warm hand her arm. Kaede peered up at the young woman beside her. Kanna had taken the dye from her hair so it shone brilliantly white like a halo under the lights. Her cool skin seemed to glow like the winter snow that still settled her. The only thing earthly about the girl was the dark eyes that watched her with concerned logic.
Kaede patted her hand and gestured to the room. “I'm sure she would appreciate you being here.”
The kids eventually quieted as they watched a movie and munched on popcorn, seemingly oblivious to the adults behind them.
“Are you sure they should be in there?” Hojo frowned as he pulled his jacket on over his shoulders.
Kaede nodded with a soft smile. “Yes. She needs to have someone here with her. Where she is emotionally isn't a good place. Maybe their happiness will be enough to bring her some peace.”
The young man just grunted. “I'm going down to warm up the car. Are you coming?”
She waved him off. “I'll be down shortly. I just want to pray for a moment.”
She felt more than saw his nod as he left and she settled herself next the window as she soon became accustomed to the children's quiet giggles and banter. Silently she prayed as she looked upon Kagome, her tousled hair spread like a fan on her pillow. If it weren't for the oxygen prongs and monitors, she could almost believe she was watching the dear girl sleep as she once did at home. She let out a sad sigh before a shadow next to her caught her attention. She turned to see the nurse stop as she stared at the children.
“I hope you don't mind.” Kaede smiled. “They don't want Kagome to be alone at night. I promise you they won't be in your way.”
The nurse looked pale but managed to give a small nod. Her eyes riveted to one child in particular. Kaede followed her gaze and grinned.
“Beautiful, isn't she?”
The nurse faltered as she looked at Kaede then back. She remained silent though her lips parted.
Kaede smiled lovingly at Kanna. “She came to us when she was five or six years old. A skinny child with cuts and bruises. She was found beaten on the streets, no doubt because of what she looked like. She was such a timid thing when she finally came to the orphanage. The only thing she had was a dirty dress and a name.” Kaede hummed as she watched Kanna dodge popcorn thrown at her by Kohaku, her silken hair drifted like feathers as she laughed. “It was Kagome that took her under her wing. She understood what it meant to be different because of appearances. But for a little girl who believed she was ugly and unwanted, she needed someone like Kagome to make her see where her own beauty came from.” She ushered to the window. “She looks a lot like her, though. Don't you think?”
The nurse's jaw trembled as she swallowed, her wide eyes moving from the woman on the bed to the albino. Kaede watched her for a few moments before turning back to the children. She grinned as she noticed Kohaku blush when Kanna reached up to brush popcorn from his hair. “I can see Kagome in her sometimes, especially when she smiles.”
A choked sound came from the woman beside her before the nurse managed to clear her throat. “Her eyes....”
“I know. It's very rare to see such eyes with this disorder. I've never seen eyes so dark.”
The nurse licked her dry lips. She continued to watch the girl laugh and stood still when Kanna turned to gaze at her in curiosity before Kohaku distracted her with a poke in the side. “She...looks happy.”
“Kanna? Why yes, she's very happy.”
“Kanna?” The woman repeated.
“Yes. An unusual name, wouldn't you say?”
“It...it was my mother's name.”
Kaede started and turned to the woman, only to see the flow of long brown hair as the nurse walked silently toward the exit.
-+-
Kagome awoke to a distant hum of voices. Groggily she centred her attention on it, trying to make sense of what had roused her.
“I apologize if I woke you.”
Kagome blinked her eyes open and peered tiredly over to the man who was standing at the foot of her bed, muting the television hanging on the wall.
“Sesshomaru?” She rasped, rubbing her eyes with heavy hands.
“Good morning, Miss Higurashi, or should I say good afternoon.”
Kagome struggled to push her body up, feeling the odd weight of her numbed legs drag up the bed. The subtle hum of the head of the bed rising had her lay back down as Sesshomaru helped adjust her bed and get her comfortable. “Thank you, but wh-what are you doing here?”
“A lot has happened while you've been asleep. I thought it fitting to see you to help you catch up.” He nodded to her bedside table. “I brought you breakfast, as I've seen what the cafeteria provides.”
Kagome turned to see a variety of food scattered on the table, along with three different beverages to choose from, each with a straw in it. She eyed the steaming hot chocolate with a slight flare of her nostrils before reaching for the apple juice to rinse her mouth and sooth her parched throat. “I appreciate all this, but I still don't understand...why did you say you were here?”
He pointed to the television with the remote and pushed the volume button. “See for yourself.”
'Onigumo was found dead on the floor of his bedroom along with his assistant, Kikyo Sato, in what appears to have been a murder/suicide. Detectives have not yet released more information about the scene, but the incident does happen on the cusp of a mysterious package that arrived at police headquarters that linked Onigumo with various drug trafficking and mafia ties that had once been believed to be headed by Akio Taisho, who, if you recall, was found murdered in his office over a decade ago. With this new evidence, a formal apology is expected to be made public, vindicating the Taisho family-'
“Whoa, wait!” Kagome held up a trembling hand in shock. “Naraku is dead?”
Sesshomaru nodded once. “It appears so.”
Kagome shook her head. “But, I don't understand. How?”
The handsome man lifted a brow as a sly smirk settled on the corner of his mouth. “Why, because of you.”
“Me?”
“You seem to be the catalyst for quite a number of things,” the man chuckled not unkindly. “I'm rather curious to see what else will snowball because of your footsteps.”
Kagome's eyes danced around the room as her mouth opened then shut. “I...I'm having a hard time understanding what's going on.”
“Which is why I'm here.” Sesshomaru walked silently toward the door and shut it before settling himself on a plush chair next to her bed. “You see, you had a visitor last night.”
“I did?”
“Several, actually, but two of which matter most at the moment. You see, last night Kikyo arrived disguised as a nurse.”
“What!” Kagome's heart rate monitor spiked and she turned to shut off the alarm, sick of it's incessant beeping. “Why?”
“It seems you have a habit of surviving against the odds.” He smiled. “As well as having connections with the most unlikely people.”
Kagome inhaled softly and slowly, trying to relax her fluttering heart. “I've been realizing that. So Kikyo was sent to finish me off? Who was my unlikely rescuer?”
“Kanna.”
Eyes wide, Kagome reached across her bed in dire need of reassurance. “Kanna? What did she do? Is she okay?”
“Perfectly fine and none the wiser. Her main role in all of this was just to be there.”
Kagome let her hand drop as her weakened body slumped deeper into the bed. “I think,” she licked her dried lips, “that you'll need to explain in detail.”
Sesshomaru reached over the table to grasp a steaming cup of tea and took a small sip. “Fifteen years ago, Kikyo was sent to be cared for by Naraku. When the man was still considered a fine upstanding gentleman, his chief assistant had proclaimed him guardian of his only daughter. When the assistant passed away due to unusual circumstances, Naraku became sole guardian of a twelve year old girl. I cannot reveal the full extent of his abuse to her, but within a year, a child was born to Kikyo, an albino.”
Kagome's mouth floundered as she grasped everything that Sesshomaru was saying. “Naraku raped Kikyo when she was only twelve years old and-?”
“Kanna is their daughter. Yes.”
“No,” she shook her head once, then again more quickly. “No, there's no way....”
“As disturbing as it is, yes there is.” He took a longer sip of his tea. “Naraku claimed to have adopted the child in the media's eye, but very little was known about the truth, nor what he did to them behind closed doors. About five years later, when Kikyo turned eighteen, she ran off with Kanna, no doubt wanting to protect her daughter from the abuse. Suffice to say, no one leaves Naraku and he had her found, but not without teaching her a lesson.” He eyed his cup for a moment. “He had the child beaten and thrown into the streets to die. He had Kikyo believe she was dead and made no doubt on whom Kikyo belonged. He trained her well.”
“Kanna....” Kagome's mind flashed with every possible thought, unable to piece together a coherent question.
“Was raised to be a very happy and healthy young woman, despite who her parents were.”
Her head shook in numbed denial. “Did...how did...why was she...?”
“A few of the older children came to spend the night with you, should you need company. It was fortuitous they arrived when they had. A group of teenagers are hard to overlook in such a place,” Sess looked pointedly at her, “especially one as uncommon as Kanna.”
Kagome searched his face. “Kikyo recognized her?”
He cleared his throat. “I happened to have the pleasure of meeting Kanna at your party a few months ago. She had very unusual eyes for an albino. Dark to a point of black. They were very hard to ignore or forget. I would say Kikyo knew those eyes quite well, as she had seen them every day in someone else.”
Kagome flicked her eyes up at the television before turning back to him. “You orchestrated all of this.”
“I had very little to do with it.” He shrugged. “I merely made a few phone calls.”
Flexing her fingers on top her bed sheet, Kagome studied her stats on the machine. “How... how did you know it would happen like this?”
“Naraku hates loose ends. Every weakness discovered must be destroyed.” His voice turned a chilling brass. “I have a daughter as well. One whom I'd kill for. It seems Kikyo felt the same way.”
A lone tear trickled down her temple and she closed her eyes to stem the flow. “Kikyo caused so much pain... and after everything, I can't hate her. I am sad... I'm sad that she died this way.”
“She found her redemption,” Sesshomaru said. “The only thing that is sad is that no one will know why she did it.”
Kagome turned to face the man beside her. “I will.”
He nodded and a silence permeated the room. The beeps and whoosh of her machines seemed to grow louder with each passing second as her mind spiralled. She would always remember. She didn't think there would ever be a time where her heart wouldn't crack a little at thinking about the pain suffered at the hands of one man - one she had never met, but had been so much apart of her life as anyone else.
She turned to the television to see the meteorologist talk about the weather. Life went on with very few the wiser. Except she knew she'd never be the same. How much was tied and connected with her? It was near impossible to believe it wasn't all divinely conducted. But what if one simple choice wasn't made to make none of this happen? What if she never took the chance to step into that rehearsal hall and looked into those haunted eyes?
Kagome blinked tiredly as she let in a weary breath.
“H-how is he?”
Sesshomaru sighed. “Alive, thanks to you.”
The juts of oxygen being sprayed into her lungs made her throat dry and it suddenly hurt to breathe. Kagome swallowed hard as she waited for him to say something, anything, but his silence spoke volumes. She turned her head away and struggled to pull in a deeper breath. “Thanks to me...”
“Don't take his lack of being here a sign he doesn't think of you.”
“No,” she murmured, “I can understand it being too hard.”
“More than you realize. He has his reasons, but I can't make excuses for him. Just...give him time.”
A faint twitch on her lips signalled a half-hearted smile but it never made it. She tucked her blankets higher up her chest, feeling the thick cotton bandages under her hospital gown that covered the tender stitches. She wished she could say she understood. She wished she could believe every excuse she made for him. But the fact remained, she lay here hurt and tired and weak. And all she wanted was to see him, for him to see her. To make it worth it.
The elevated beeps of the machine brought her attention to the screen to see her blood pressure and oxygen levels rise before the hot tears streaming down her face made her realize she was crying. With no sudden control, she felt a shuddering sob pass her lips and her chest shook with the strain to take in extra air.
“Kagome,” Sesshomaru was immediately by her side, tucking her hair away from her face, “please....”
The gentle touch had her sob harder, because it wasn't his hands she wanted, or his words begging her to stop. She couldn't even if she tried. She shut her eyes and just cried, gritting her teeth against the pain, both physically and emotionally. She didn't know how long she cried. She was convinced she could cry forever.
She just couldn't fight it anymore.
-+-
A/N Hey all, sorry for the delay. The boy caught a cold then an ear infection, and to top it all off my husband left for training for a month, so I'm Dad and Mom for the next few weeks. Not so bad, I don't have to cook as much and there is a significant decrease in laundry and increase in teaspoons.
On a lighter note, Alex (my son) is doing very well. He's three now and is FINALLY potty trained, and was rated to have a 4-5 year old intelligence, so he's ahead by a year or two. He's also learning to dress himself and be more self able even though his left arm and hand are weak from the cerebral palsy. I'm doing fine. Aside from husband being gone for 6 months last year, taking my beloved laptop with him, I kept busy with archaeology digs and Alex. When husband came home I spontaneously lost sight in one eye during the summer which made for killer headaches and no depth perception, it also hurt to read let alone write. Most of my sight has come back, but not fully. I'm still being tested to find the cause, possibly MS, but could also just be a fluke thing. Then horrors of horrors my laptop of one year died on me, so after two months of waiting, Sony gave me another, add to a big thumbs up on extended warranty. Other than that, life is good, we moved into a new quarters on base, one level so Alex doesn't have to worry about stairs and we got a Lab puppy to train to be his helper...well, once they stop rolling around the floor like a dusty tumbleweed. Not sure which one is in time out more. So yeah, like I said, Husband is gone again for training, and will be leaving overseas this summer and will be home in the fall. So I'm writing hardcore now to keep the days going fast. And to help me keep contact with some sense of sanity. Remember, have a three year old and a lab pup beneath my feet. The sad thing is, DWU is almost done. And I feel I'm about to say goodbye to an old friend.
Anyways...songs to inspire me this chapter! Hear You Me – Jimmy Eat World and 9 Crimes – Damien Rice. Sometimes I so wish to put songs into the chapter I'm writing at the time but I've found as I wrote they tend to get in the way of the story, so you can listen as you read, or be like me and find a good Final Fantasy video with the song and just sigh.
Anyways, next chapter starting tomorrow! Live, love and laugh!
WDW