InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Gamble ❯ Epilogue ( Epilogue )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/n: Omg, omg, completed! It's the last chapter, it's done! *dances, trumpets playing, music loud and such and zomg factor*! YAY! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did! This fic is yet another that I loved. I wrote it in hopes of inspiring someone to know it's not always as bad as it seems.

I know it took me a long time to know that.

"Healing comes so painfully,
and it chills to the bone.
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged as I'm sure you know..." Damaged, Plumb.

Something like that... right? Right.

You're not alone. ^^. And not for long...

Luna-





You knew the answer already, didn't you?

Hell, you must of, because I've been talking about it my entire damn story.

You probably even got tired of hearing about her.

I know... I know I don't shut up about her.

But Kami-sama... if you knew her how I did, you wouldn't either.

...but you never will, so don't get any ideas...

Anyway, I remember how shy she was when she answered...

She stuttered... and said something under her breath, so slight I couldn't understand her. She had lowered her eyes, and she was trembling...

And... I didn't know what the hell was wrong.

'O-oi! What did you say? What did I say? Is everything okay?'

Then she did that little 'hiccup' that let me know I was in trouble.

...I had made her cry again.

Without even meaning to.

...then again, I never did, but I didn't expect to make her sad...

'D... don't cry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it...'

My heart clenched, and I was so upset.

She had rejected me, didn't she?

But I was in for a surprise when she grabbed a lock of my hair and shouted full force at me.

'INUYASHA NO BAKA!'

I, to say the least, was freaked.

There she was, tears in her eyes, in that pale yellow sundress she loved so much looking mad as hell...

And I was damn confused.

'W...whuh?'

Intelligent, I know.

'Why would you take something like that back? You jerk!'

And, there she was, crying all over again.

And I think I was only that much more lost.

'B-but... y-you... crying... what?'

She gave me a death glare that would have made me wet myself if I hadn't emptied my bladder earlier that day.

I swear, I'm not kidding.

Didn't I tell you how the women I knew were demonic?

Well, yes, Kagome was one of them. And she ranked right next to Sango on the terrifying scale.

'I was crying because I was happy, baka...'

She sounded so miserable right then, so very hurt...

...I know it was at that moment my heart stopped.

'Wait... what?'

She threw her arms up in anger and frustration.

'BAKA! I WAS HAPPY!'

So, that day, I was an established baka.

But I was too ecstatic to care.

'Really?'

'Really!'

'...like, really, really?!'

'REALLY!... baka...'

I threw my arms around her, and dragged her tiny little body to me, and kissed her senseless.

That was how it happened.

Not overly romantic, as always, but it works for us.

...in our own way.

...Heh, I wouldn't change it...

Months and months later was the first time I told her how much I was truly in love with her.

...how I had always been.

It was that day... the first time we ever made love.

Because you must know there is a crucial difference.

It is the difference between soft caresses and mindless fucking.

And anyone who has had it really knows the difference.

She was so shy...

...I had to be gentle with her, because of her insecurities.

...because of her memories, and her scars.

And I tried to heal them, one by one...

Just like she did for me.

I know, I wasn't so nervous as she was.

...but that was because I had dreamt of that day, and imagined it a thousand different ways a thousand different times.

But nothing was as good as the actual thing.

And what I meant was, she was so much more amazing that I had ever dreamed.

I know, being inexperienced, it wasn't as good as I would have wanted in certain departments... when it came to the love making.

I know I had waited for her.

I... didn't please her as long as I wanted to.

But I didn't rush.

I... can admit that.

Because, it was the right thing to do.

...and I don't regret it.

It was the last year of high school... the once lucky seven split apart.

Kouga found himself a beautiful red headed half named Ayame. We had become pretty close buddies at that time, but he was so focused on her.

Apparently, she had chased him a long time... and after she gave up, he went after her.

Ironic, and so like Kouga, eh?

Miroku and Sango got engaged, and no one was surprised. They were meant for each other... lecher and tomboy. She kept him in line. He made her softer... calmed her down.

...Miroku became my best friend, sort of, right after Kagome.

...that is, after I stopped being such a douche.

It... took a long time for Sango to forgive me for hurting Kagome.

I don't think she ever truly did...

But with Kagome's kind words about me, and assurance I had changed indeed for the better, she begrudgingly started being my friend again.

Miroku somehow understood me, with that quiet, all-knowing way he seemed to with everything else.

That was how we came to our truce.

Kikyo...

...we stopped hearing from her. She faded into the background, dropped out of high school, and went off into the wrong crowd.

It was around that time I heard how Kagome tried to help her while she was with Kouga... that Kikyo just stole and lied to Kagome, but Kagome never hated her for it.

She had been a lost cause, drowning out her life with drugs.

...months later, she turned up in rehab. She had killed her immune system, destroyed her body, and ruined her chance at a good life...

She tried to get clean... but I heard a rumor that she died not too long after that.

I know, I was heartbroken for a while.

So was Kagome.

I remember holding her while she cried, and she felt so guilty she couldn't help Kikyo.

...but no one had been able to.

I know, I felt the same heart-wrenching guilt, even though for years I had tried to convince myself I hated her.

But I couldn't... not after so many years later.

She had become a note in my long history of mistakes and sorrows.

The sad thing was she had had such a bright future.

...She was so smart.

Her father never even held a memorial service...

She was just buried.

Gravestone with her name, and the years.

Nothing more.

The others... me and Kagome, Sango and Miroku, Kouga and Ayame and Shippo... all went to honor her memory.

Despite there may not have been a lot to honor, there was a lot more to regret.

She had become our shining example, of what it might have been...

...what we all might have become if we hadn't stopped our destructive behaviors.

We had all had our hard times.

...we had all had our scars, our damaged memories, and our gambles.

And while we stood over Kikyo's grave on that gray and rainy day... throwing our roses down one by one... I think we all left a part of ourselves behind.

It was our silent promise we would move on.

... but we could never forget.

We wouldn't speak about it...

...but we wouldn't regret it.

It was time to stop regretting.

Things... only linger on, if you let them.

Sometimes, you can't get away from it on your own.

...I know, I couldn't.

It was with the help of my father, and Kagome... that I was finally able to move on.

And my biggest gamble of all?

...was the chance I took to try and forgive myself.

And I think... right after Kagome, that was the best gamble I made of all.