InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Hanyou Handbook: A Romance ❯ Chapter Eighteen ( Chapter 18 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: donatella 
Inuyasha is finally back to himself.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Hentai / Drama / Comedy / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 05.02.2011 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 815 | Status: Work In Progress
Inuyasha is finally back to himself.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Hentai / Drama / Comedy / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 05.02.2011 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 815 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: Inu Yasha and its characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi and Sunrise. I make no profit from this fiction. All original characters and story are owned by Donatella D.
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Enjoy. 1584
Chapter Eighteen
Sesshomaru awoke sometime in the evening next to his still sleeping brother. He wanted very badly to wake him and see if there were any changes, but he looked so sweet in his slumber that he decided to wait for him to awaken on his own. Then again, there was the time limit to think about and if Inuyasha showed no improvement then they needed to keep having sex until he did. He didn’t mind that part of it anymore, but he was starting to worry that they would run out of time, so he reluctantly woke his little brother in the hope that he would say one little word to him… any word would be acceptable; he would even be happy to hear Inuyasha call him a bastard -- anything would do.
He gently shook his brother’s arm and said his name, “Inuyasha. Wake up.”
Inuyasha opened his eyes and followed with a loud, “Fuck!”
“Nice to see you too, little brother,” Sesshomaru said, but couldn’t help smiling as he said it.
“What the hell happened? I feel like I’ve been run over by a herd of cow demons,” he said as he tried to sit up.
“You don’t remember?
“Remember what? Hey, where the fuck are we?”
“We are in our new home. How do you feel, Inuyasha?”
“My legs hurt… a lot, and my back hurts too… and I’m sore in… places. What happened to me?” Inuyasha asked while fidgeting and stretching where he sat on the bed appearing to be in some mild discomfort.
“You lost your virginity, little brother. I am sorry you don’t remember, but you seemed to enjoy yourself a great deal.”
“You mean you fucked me while I was asleep? That’s like rape! How could you do that to me?!”
That stung. Sesshomaru was hoping his brother would see it differently, but rape? That was exactly what he was thinking when he had performed the act, and he didn’t want to do it at the time. He reminded himself to keep his anger under control. Perhaps he just needed to explain it to him.
“I did not rape you, Inuyasha, and you were not exactly asleep. In fact, if I had let you, you would have raped me. I did it to keep you alive.”
“Keh, so I would’ve died if you didn’t fuck me in my sleep? I’m not that stupid.”
“I know you are not stupid, little brother, but you must understand that I did not want to do it.”
“But you did anyway! You really still hate me, don’t you?”
“No,” Sesshomaru said simply. He really was not in the mood for this conversation and it hurt him to hear that his brother thought he hated him, but how could he prove that wasn’t true? What else could he possibly do to let Inuyasha know how he really felt about him? He’s already done everything he could think of. What was left?
“No? You don’t hate me? Heh -- You sure have a strange way of showin’ it.”
“What would you have me do, Inuyasha?”
Inuyasha thought about it for a minute. What could he make his brother do to make him pay for raping him? “If you don’t hate me, then tell me you love me.”
“Why would that make a difference?”
“I just wanna hear it. I mean, we’re mated now, right? Even though I don’t remember it. I always thought I would mate with someone I loved, and who loved me too.”
“It is only a word, Inuyasha.”
“It’s an important word.”
“Not to me.” Sesshomaru’s temper was starting to get the better of him, but to be accused of rape was not a small matter, and Inuyasha didn’t seem to be listening to anything he had to say.
“You’re a real bastard, you know that?” Inuyasha spat at him while his eyes filled with tears.
“I have done everything for you, little brother, including giving up my life to save yours. You could at least show a little appreciation.”
“Fuck you!”
Why was he doing this, Sesshomaru thought, why doesn’t he just tell his brother he loves him? It wouldn’t be a lie, so why not just give him what he wants? It was the very last of his pride that was getting in the way. He had never told anyone that he loves them, whether it was true or not. He never said that to Rin, and she was the only one he ever loved, but she had never asked him to say the words; it was simply an understanding. She knew very well that he loved her without the words; his actions were all she needed. So why can’t Inuyasha be content with the actions as well? Why are these silly, little words so important to him?
Love, or not, Sesshomaru needed to start thinking a little about himself, otherwise he might turn into some worthless demon who is not capable of even protecting his brother any longer. He has bent so far for him and if he bends anymore, he might break. His pride was still too important to give in this time; he needed to retain some self-respect, after all. How much of himself was he expected to give up? No, this is not a matter of life or death, and Inuyasha was just going to have to live with not getting this last little piece of his brother.
“Why have you always hated me so much? Inuyasha continued through his tears, “What did I do to make you hate me?”
“You are a failure, Inuyasha. That is why you are in this situation.” Was Sesshomaru really going to go through with this? It was something he had read about in the doctor’s book, but he hadn’t planned to tell Inuyasha; it was too hurtful. If Inuyasha would just back down then it wasn’t too late to take it back.
“What? Ask Naraku if he thinks I’m a failure.”
“You are a failure because you are a half-breed, and that makes you useless except to procreate to eliminate the error, which you failed to do on your own. Your existence is a failure.”
“So that’s it? You raped me and now everything’s back to the way it was before? You’re just gonna go back to treating me like shit? You fucking bastard! I knew it wasn’t real; you were just playing with me the whole time -- you never cared about me. You were just pretending.”
“I was not pretending, Inuyasha. I am simply not willing to give up my entire self to you or anyone.”
“You’re such a fucking asshole! I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
He couldn’t do this. Inuyasha’s tears were tugging at his heart again. He was only trying to be himself, the cold-hearted Lord of the West, but he reminded himself that he really did have love for his little brother and he didn’t want to hurt him, not really. He just wanted to try on his former self to see if it still fit, it didn’t, at least not with Inuyasha and he can’t allow his little brother to make him so angry; he still has some control.
“I am sorry, little brother; I did not mean to upset you, but you must not anger me with accusations of raping you.”
“You did rape me!”
“I did not. I saved your life; it is that simple. I could have done nothing and let you die. Then I could be done with you and return to my former life where I was quite happy to stay. But we are mated now, and you are going to live, so stop this nonsense.”
“It isn’t nonsense! My mate hates me!”
“I do not hate you, Inuyasha.”
“You do -- you’ve always hated me… even when I was just a kid. I always loved you so much, even when I was little and all alone and I waited for you to come for me, but you never did -- I still loved you. I never stopped loving you even though you didn’t care about me, even when you wanted me dead -- I still always loved you -- even when you left me all alone and wouldn’t come for me…”
“I did come for you. Don’t you remember? Who do you think it was who left you food when you were hungry? Who do you think battled the demons that tried to kill you? Or the time you were sick with fever, who do you think it was that took care of you until you were well?”
“What?”
“Don’t you remember waking up in a cave with a fire to keep you warm and food to keep you fed? That was me, little brother.”
“You mean you took care of me then?”
“Yes.”
“But why didn’t you stay with me? I wanted to be with you; I wanted to be with my big brother.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t the big brother you wanted, but that is who I am, and I had no desire to have a child at my side.”
“Then why do you keep Rin at your side? You never leave her… that should’ve been me.”
“I know, but Rin is different.”
“Yeah, she’s different by being a human! You always told me you hated that I was half human, but that’s bullshit, isn’t it?”
“It’s more complicated than that; Rin has my heart.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, it is simply the truth, little brother. You were an unwelcome responsibility that was forced on me, but things have changed, and now you are my mate and you now have my heart as well.”
“Then just tell me.”
The conversation was interrupted by the shriek of Jaken’s voice from the other side of the door: “Lord Sesshomaru, there is a visitor here to see you and Master Inuyasha.”
To be continued…
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Enjoy. 1584
Chapter Eighteen
Sesshomaru awoke sometime in the evening next to his still sleeping brother. He wanted very badly to wake him and see if there were any changes, but he looked so sweet in his slumber that he decided to wait for him to awaken on his own. Then again, there was the time limit to think about and if Inuyasha showed no improvement then they needed to keep having sex until he did. He didn’t mind that part of it anymore, but he was starting to worry that they would run out of time, so he reluctantly woke his little brother in the hope that he would say one little word to him… any word would be acceptable; he would even be happy to hear Inuyasha call him a bastard -- anything would do.
He gently shook his brother’s arm and said his name, “Inuyasha. Wake up.”
Inuyasha opened his eyes and followed with a loud, “Fuck!”
“Nice to see you too, little brother,” Sesshomaru said, but couldn’t help smiling as he said it.
“What the hell happened? I feel like I’ve been run over by a herd of cow demons,” he said as he tried to sit up.
“You don’t remember?
“Remember what? Hey, where the fuck are we?”
“We are in our new home. How do you feel, Inuyasha?”
“My legs hurt… a lot, and my back hurts too… and I’m sore in… places. What happened to me?” Inuyasha asked while fidgeting and stretching where he sat on the bed appearing to be in some mild discomfort.
“You lost your virginity, little brother. I am sorry you don’t remember, but you seemed to enjoy yourself a great deal.”
“You mean you fucked me while I was asleep? That’s like rape! How could you do that to me?!”
That stung. Sesshomaru was hoping his brother would see it differently, but rape? That was exactly what he was thinking when he had performed the act, and he didn’t want to do it at the time. He reminded himself to keep his anger under control. Perhaps he just needed to explain it to him.
“I did not rape you, Inuyasha, and you were not exactly asleep. In fact, if I had let you, you would have raped me. I did it to keep you alive.”
“Keh, so I would’ve died if you didn’t fuck me in my sleep? I’m not that stupid.”
“I know you are not stupid, little brother, but you must understand that I did not want to do it.”
“But you did anyway! You really still hate me, don’t you?”
“No,” Sesshomaru said simply. He really was not in the mood for this conversation and it hurt him to hear that his brother thought he hated him, but how could he prove that wasn’t true? What else could he possibly do to let Inuyasha know how he really felt about him? He’s already done everything he could think of. What was left?
“No? You don’t hate me? Heh -- You sure have a strange way of showin’ it.”
“What would you have me do, Inuyasha?”
Inuyasha thought about it for a minute. What could he make his brother do to make him pay for raping him? “If you don’t hate me, then tell me you love me.”
“Why would that make a difference?”
“I just wanna hear it. I mean, we’re mated now, right? Even though I don’t remember it. I always thought I would mate with someone I loved, and who loved me too.”
“It is only a word, Inuyasha.”
“It’s an important word.”
“Not to me.” Sesshomaru’s temper was starting to get the better of him, but to be accused of rape was not a small matter, and Inuyasha didn’t seem to be listening to anything he had to say.
“You’re a real bastard, you know that?” Inuyasha spat at him while his eyes filled with tears.
“I have done everything for you, little brother, including giving up my life to save yours. You could at least show a little appreciation.”
“Fuck you!”
Why was he doing this, Sesshomaru thought, why doesn’t he just tell his brother he loves him? It wouldn’t be a lie, so why not just give him what he wants? It was the very last of his pride that was getting in the way. He had never told anyone that he loves them, whether it was true or not. He never said that to Rin, and she was the only one he ever loved, but she had never asked him to say the words; it was simply an understanding. She knew very well that he loved her without the words; his actions were all she needed. So why can’t Inuyasha be content with the actions as well? Why are these silly, little words so important to him?
Love, or not, Sesshomaru needed to start thinking a little about himself, otherwise he might turn into some worthless demon who is not capable of even protecting his brother any longer. He has bent so far for him and if he bends anymore, he might break. His pride was still too important to give in this time; he needed to retain some self-respect, after all. How much of himself was he expected to give up? No, this is not a matter of life or death, and Inuyasha was just going to have to live with not getting this last little piece of his brother.
“Why have you always hated me so much? Inuyasha continued through his tears, “What did I do to make you hate me?”
“You are a failure, Inuyasha. That is why you are in this situation.” Was Sesshomaru really going to go through with this? It was something he had read about in the doctor’s book, but he hadn’t planned to tell Inuyasha; it was too hurtful. If Inuyasha would just back down then it wasn’t too late to take it back.
“What? Ask Naraku if he thinks I’m a failure.”
“You are a failure because you are a half-breed, and that makes you useless except to procreate to eliminate the error, which you failed to do on your own. Your existence is a failure.”
“So that’s it? You raped me and now everything’s back to the way it was before? You’re just gonna go back to treating me like shit? You fucking bastard! I knew it wasn’t real; you were just playing with me the whole time -- you never cared about me. You were just pretending.”
“I was not pretending, Inuyasha. I am simply not willing to give up my entire self to you or anyone.”
“You’re such a fucking asshole! I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
He couldn’t do this. Inuyasha’s tears were tugging at his heart again. He was only trying to be himself, the cold-hearted Lord of the West, but he reminded himself that he really did have love for his little brother and he didn’t want to hurt him, not really. He just wanted to try on his former self to see if it still fit, it didn’t, at least not with Inuyasha and he can’t allow his little brother to make him so angry; he still has some control.
“I am sorry, little brother; I did not mean to upset you, but you must not anger me with accusations of raping you.”
“You did rape me!”
“I did not. I saved your life; it is that simple. I could have done nothing and let you die. Then I could be done with you and return to my former life where I was quite happy to stay. But we are mated now, and you are going to live, so stop this nonsense.”
“It isn’t nonsense! My mate hates me!”
“I do not hate you, Inuyasha.”
“You do -- you’ve always hated me… even when I was just a kid. I always loved you so much, even when I was little and all alone and I waited for you to come for me, but you never did -- I still loved you. I never stopped loving you even though you didn’t care about me, even when you wanted me dead -- I still always loved you -- even when you left me all alone and wouldn’t come for me…”
“I did come for you. Don’t you remember? Who do you think it was who left you food when you were hungry? Who do you think battled the demons that tried to kill you? Or the time you were sick with fever, who do you think it was that took care of you until you were well?”
“What?”
“Don’t you remember waking up in a cave with a fire to keep you warm and food to keep you fed? That was me, little brother.”
“You mean you took care of me then?”
“Yes.”
“But why didn’t you stay with me? I wanted to be with you; I wanted to be with my big brother.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t the big brother you wanted, but that is who I am, and I had no desire to have a child at my side.”
“Then why do you keep Rin at your side? You never leave her… that should’ve been me.”
“I know, but Rin is different.”
“Yeah, she’s different by being a human! You always told me you hated that I was half human, but that’s bullshit, isn’t it?”
“It’s more complicated than that; Rin has my heart.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No, it is simply the truth, little brother. You were an unwelcome responsibility that was forced on me, but things have changed, and now you are my mate and you now have my heart as well.”
“Then just tell me.”
The conversation was interrupted by the shriek of Jaken’s voice from the other side of the door: “Lord Sesshomaru, there is a visitor here to see you and Master Inuyasha.”
To be continued…