InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Killer Inside ❯ Chapter 8: Formulating Denials ( Chapter 8 )
Look! I updated! Woohoo! It's been what? A month? Really sorry about that, honest. Life just kinda got away from me and I was so blocked! I've felt so bad because I've gotten so many great reviews and I've done next to nothing in terms of writing.
You guys have been awesome. Please read and review and I thank you for your interest.
Chapter 8: Formulating Denials
"A Stranger" by A Perfect Circle
Cast the calming apple
Up and over satellites
To draw out the timid wild one
To convince you it's alright
And I listen for the whisper
Of your sweet insanity while I formulate
Denials of your affect on me
You're a stranger
So what do I care
You vanish today
Not the first time I hear
All the lies
What am I to do with all this silence
Shy away, shy away phantom
Run away terrified child
Won't you move away you fucking tornado
I'm better off without you
Tearing my will down
"Oh, my god! Sango is so going to beat the crap out of you!" Kagome giggled. It was the first thing Inuyasha heard as he silently opened the screen door behind her. He'd been listening for a while but decided to come out on the porch and watch her. Ten minutes ago he had decided to take her to Maire's for lunch to thank her for all her help. Not to mention he was actually planning on seriously talking to her about Kikyou.
Now though, she was gleefully giggling at Miroku's discomfort and he was pretty sure he'd never seen a more beautiful woman. The look on Miroku's face made her laugh even harder and the hanyou watching the scene play itself out was amused. So, the monk is after Sango, he thought. She should be able to keep him in line, if she lets him anywhere near her. Inuyasha stood and watched as Miroku rolled his eyes at Kagome and sat back against the railing of the porch.
"Very few women have ever deemed it necessary to `beat the crap out of me,' so to speak, my dear, sweet Kagome. In truth, I am nothing if not a gentleman." Miroku smiled very smoothly and softened his gaze. Inuyasha's grip on the helmet in his hand tightened as the monk spoke. Monk or not, he was ready to hurt the man if he made a move on the miko; fortunately Kagome saw right through it.
"Sure you are. And I'm Madonna." Kagome laughed again, her smile wide. "I'm not saying you don't have a chance with Sango. What I'm saying is that in some ways, she's more than she appears and in other ways, less." Her smile turned sad and she sighed. "She's different, Miroku, and very wary. You have to approach her in a completely different manner than you would any other woman. From the little I know of you, I can tell that you are accustomed to women really wanting to be with you and enjoying your company."
"You don't feel Sango would enjoy my company?" He thought for a moment. "Are you saying Sango doesn't like men?" Miroku's eyebrow went up and he smirked. "Really now, Kagome, you didn't need to beat around the bush, unless it's Sango's, in which case…"
"Pervert." Kagome glared at him. "Sango likes men. She just has trust issues."
"Specifically regarding?"
"Specifically regarding none of your business! She'll tell you when she feels like it, if she feels like it." She looked at him sharply. "Listen, Sango is one of my best and closest friends and while you seem like a decent guy beneath all the con-man bullshit, I don't really know you all that well. I have decent instincts, but not nearly as good as my Aunt's. If Kaede sees nothing wrong with you, you can meet Sango. If not, find your own way."
Miroku seemed to pause a moment and then nodded. "That seems reasonable. If Kaede is truly as great a priestess as she is rumored to be, her word is infallible."
"I sure as hell hope so," Inuyasha interrupted. He turned his eyes to Kagome and nodded at her. "Come on, I'm taking you to lunch."
Kagome raised her eyebrow. "Don't you mean, `would you like to have lunch with me?'"
"No, bitch," he snarled, a little startled at her response. "I mean I'm taking you to lunch, go get on my bike, now." He growled for effect but Kagome ignored it. She stood up and stomped up the stairs to where he stood. Even after working in his garden for four hours, she was still beautiful. Her white shorts were still clean and her green tank was hardly even wrinkled.
When she stood less than a foot from him she stopped and glared into his eyes, which was difficult, he was about half a foot taller than her. He could feel their energies crackling against each other. Never before had he experienced anything like this and it was… exciting. He could smell the agitation on her skin, feel that she was ready to challenge him, even slap him, if she felt it was necessary. Part of him wanted to see if he could push her that far.
"Repeat that," she whispered. Her eye twitched. "Politely."
He gave in and calmed his features. "I'm buying you lunch because you fixed up my yard a bit," he said in an even voice. "Get on the bike and I'll drive you there."
"Um-" She chewed her lip as if unsure. While he hadn't retracted the offensive words, he hadn't snarled at her either and he hoped that the intent behind the words reached her. He'd never been a polite type of guy and Kagome made him a very nervous man. She looked at him doubtfully.
"Please?" All that got him was a raised eyebrow and a blink. "Not polite enough for you? Too bad, that's as polite as it gets. No `ums,' sweetheart, get going! Bike's right there." He swung the helmet he'd brought out for her towards the bike then handed it to her. "I'll take the helmet on the bike, you can use this one."
"Inuyasha," Miroku interrupted, "though your intentions do seem to be actually decent for once, that was still quite rude of you."
"Shove it and stay out of my business, Miroku. Kagome and I need to talk." Kagome gnawed at her lip and his eyes on her softened. "It's about that file you were telling me about and about your questions." I'm actually going to talk to her about Kikyou. Whatever powers are out there give me strength, cause this is going to be very, very weird.
"OK." She took the helmet from him and turned to Miroku. "I'll get your number from Inuyasha and call you later about meeting with Kaede sometime this week, ok Miroku?" She smiled and put out her hand for him to shake. When he took it, Inuyasha felt like growling but refrained. "It was nice to get to talk to you."
"It was an honor, my lady, truly." He bowed to her, her hand still in his and then whispered, "Are you sure you'll be ok with him? He seems… agitated."
Inuyasha's preternaturally good hearing alerted him to the monk's suspicions. "Shut the fuck up, monk," he growled. "She's perfectly safe with me." He bristled at the implications and glared at Miroku. She is safe with me, isn't she? He asked himself. The question brought forth images of Kikyou's blood on his hands. When the image of Kagome replaced Kikyou, dead and broken in his arms, he shook himself. No. Not Kagome. It will not happen again. She's safe enough for now.
He grabbed Kagome's hand and led her down the steps.
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"So how did you like the ride?"
Kagome panted. She had never gone so fast in her entire life. Shakily she removed the helmet from her head and shook her hair out.
"Oh. My. God."
Inuyasha laughed. "I take it that was a new experience for you?"
"Uh, yeah. Never done that before." Kagome blushed. The ride had been part exhilarating and part terrifying. But now her legs felt like jelly and she was breathing like she'd run a marathon. Not once during the ride had she let go of Inuyasha's waist. She'd kept her eyes closed the whole way to avoid motion sickness.
She could feel hear heart racing and could almost feel the burn of adrenaline running through her veins. Not all of it was from the speed. Still, flying over the road at fifty miles an hour while clutching the torso of a very well build man… God, Kagome, stop this! She ran a hand through her hair to steady herself again. You're gonna send all kinds of signals his way and he's really not interested! He's going to get annoyed and god knows you don't want that! Just stop. She took a deep calming breath and hoped he didn't notice the difference in her scent.
"So where are we?" she asked, realizing she wasn't at all familiar with where they'd stopped. It could have been an old house, but there was obviously a parking lot in front. A set of steps led up to a wide front porch. Several rocking chairs sat empty there and a ramp with worn looking treads wound up the left side. The paint on the shutters and clapboard siding was faded and a weather-beaten sign over the door read "Maire's Parlor." Kagome looked at the place doubtfully. "Is this a restaurant?"
"Sort of." Inuyasha smirked. "Maire's an old family friend. My parents actually met through her."
"And she owns this restaurant?"
Inuyasha shook his head and laughed. "She owns this property and in some ways it is a restaurant; people do pay for the what they get here. But Maire sees this place as a calling. She serves meals and drinks, yes, and actually does a brisk business with Youkai and human patrons alike."
"Youkai?" Kagome frowned. "Meaning that she often serves things that are a little more suited to non-human tastes? Like raw meat and lesser demon flesh?"
Inuyasha nodded and lead her up the steps. "Pretty much. This is my half-brother's favorite restaurant. I'm not sure why he called me instead of Maire to ask what human women ate."
"Your brother called to ask you what humans eat?" Kagome was a bit confused. "That's kind of… odd."
"Half-brother. You have no idea," Inuyasha laughed. They stood in front of the door but neither made any move to go in. "He asked specifically if human females ate raw demon meat. Considering that he hates humans almost as much as Kikyou hated youkai, I'm pretty sure that he's never shared a dinner with any human before, much less a human woman. Or if he had, he didn't pay any attention to what they ate."
"You're kidding." Kagome grinned. "You eat human food. Did he not know what you ate?"
Inuyasha shook his head. "He's eaten with me before, but I'm not too picky about what I eat. I can eat raw youkai meat as well as the cooked meats humans eat. And actually, he only really ate with me while I was going through my `Ramen' phase and had to have it as a part of every meal, so any ideas that would have given him would be skewed."
"Ramen as in the noodles?" Inuyasha nodded and Kagome giggled. "I can imagine he would have been utterly disgusted with that. Are you going to be eating raw youkai meat today?"
"Probably not," he replied nonchalantly. "I don't eat it very often. I have a craving every now and then, but otherwise it tastes strange to me. Probably my human genes ruling my taste buds and my stomach. Honestly, I haven't had a craving for it for months. My father and I shared a pig youkai the night before I left Canada and I haven't had any since. Dad doesn't eat it all that much either. Of course, when you come to Maire's, you never know." Kagome frowned, a bit disconcerted.
She'd never witnessed the more cannibalistic side of youkai before, she had always been rather uncomfortable with the thought of one youkai eating another. Of course she knew that many, both human and youkai alike, felt it was similar to a human eating a chicken or a cow; the demons that were eaten were not sentient and usually resembled the animals humans ate. Still, it bothered Kagome a bit. Not enough to turn her away from the hanyou standing before her but enough to make her feel… strange. She wanted to change the subject as the one she'd brought up was now making her considerably uncomfortable and Inuyasha was beginning to look a bit concerned. He can probably smell my discomfort. Damn, I'm so having trouble getting used to this. Kouga was canine but either he didn't care that I was disturbed by some of the things he did or he couldn't smell it. He probably didn't care. All that wolf was interested in was what was in my pants. Bastard. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
"So what made Sesshomaru call to ask that, do you know?" she asked cheerfully.
"I shudder to think," Inuyasha replied.
"Why, he met a pretty little human girl, of course. And he did end up calling me about an hour after he called you." The voice from the doorway startled them both. The woman who stood there was nearly six feet tall and obviously well into her senior years. Her faded red hair was tied up with a purple ribbon, which matched her pale violet gypsy dress. Red polished nails tipped her slender hands, which rested on her hips. Her grinning mouth was painted as red as her nails and was only slightly askew. A scarf of gold and crimson was tied around her waist, showing clearly that age had not added much girth to her frame. Only her slightly pointed ears hinted that she wasn't entirely human. Inuyasha took up a defensive pose before realizing it was just old Maire.
"Fucking hell, Maire, you scared me," he laughed.
"Not hard to do, Puppy," she laughed. "You talked to Sesshomaru yet? I gave him my recipe for Angus steak. Hope the girl liked it."
"Batty old dame. No, I haven't talked to Sessh. You know he and I are at odds." Inuyasha frowned. "You got room for two customers?"
"'Course I do, Yash," she laughed. "And by the way, if you had been listening and not staring at that pretty little thing there like a dog after a bone, you would have heard me open the damn door, puppy."
"Maire, `a dog after a bone?' Isn't that the most cliché line in the book when it comes to inuyoukai? And you know I hate it when you call me `puppy,' you old witch." Inuyasha rolled his eyes.
"If you didn't act like a bad puppy, I wouldn't treat you like one," she admonished, smirking. "Your father didn't like that line either, but he was wise enough to shut up and take it like a man."
"Maire…" Inuyasha warned. She ignored him.
"What? Yash, honey, you're still a pup and you know it. Even that cold-eyed Sesshomaru is still a pup compared to me," she laughed then grinned in glee. "And he's met a human girl! Oh! That just takes the cake. Part of me hopes she's a beach bunny with long blond hair and a surfer's tan. He needs some loosening up. What do you want to bet she's his one?" The old woman let out a loud laugh. "I say that any day now he stops in on your father's estate and shows her around. Now, who's this pretty thing?" she queried as she narrowed her eyes on Kagome.
Inuyasha sighed and turned to Kagome with an apologetic look on his face. "This is Kagome Higurashi, Maire. She's a great-great-grand niece of Kaede over at Musashi Manor. I'm paying her back for working in my garden by buying her lunch."
Maire nodded and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Thought she looked familiar. Looks like Kaede did at that age; pretty, but not too stunning. Also looks like that other one you brought here, too. That Kikyou girl." Maire scowled. "I didn't like that one, Yash. She looked down on anything not human."
All of a sudden it hit Kagome just what was standing less than five feet in front of her. "You're Fae!" Kagome blurted out, then turned red. Oh no! I didn't just say that out loud did I? Maire laughed. Oh god, I did! Kagome politely bowed to the woman before her. "Forgive me for being rude, Ma'am. I've never met any Fae before."
"And now that you have?" Maire raised an eyebrow and smiled.
Kagome chewed her lip. "Would you think me incredibly rude if I asked if you knew any earth magics? And if any of them are exclusively Fae?"
"Ah," Maire sighed, "an earth Miko. I thought your aura was different."
"Actually, I'm a healer of plants and life forces," Kagome corrected.
Both of Maire's eyebrows went up and she nodded very solemnly. "A very special type of Miko indeed. I'm sorry child, but I really know nothing of earth magic." Maire smiled and put her hand out to Kagome who took it with a bit of caution. "I am Maire Holly of the Ruine Clan. I welcome you to my home and my kitchen, Kagome. Come, I'll fix your favorite."
She backed up and started into the house then turned to scrutinize Kagome for a moment. "I'm thinking… a turkey club sandwich with no tomato and extra lettuce? Glass of chai and… hmmm… for dessert…" The old woman tilted her head to the side. "Oh! Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies!" She grinned and walked back into the house, humming.
"Um. OK." Kagome looked at Inuyasha and shrugged. She was a bit confused. That wasn't her favorite lunch, but it was what she'd been craving for a few days now. The hanyou smiled at her, his grin more genuine at that moment than she'd ever seen it. She almost couldn't move for a moment, so stunned was she by the change it brought over his face.
He looked young, very young; hardly older than she and so handsome her breath caught in her throat. When he grabbed her wrist to pull her into the house, she didn't protest. Instead she simply stared at him, an ache settling in her heart.
OK, she thought, I was wrong. I'm not interested in just his body. When he smiled just there, it took some of the pain in his eyes away and… I want to make him smile like that. I want to see that smile every day. Damn. As she walked through the darkened doorway into the house, a heavy sadness draped over her. She slipped her hand into his and tried not to think.
I don't want to love him.
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He could smell sadness and discomfort in her scent. She smiled and laughed but he could see the sorrow in her eyes. What had he done? What had happened? He knew that the idea of him eating Youkai bothered her but the sadness was something else altogether. What's wrong, Kagome? He was disturbed to find that he wanted nothing more than to hurt whatever had put the sadness in her scent.
He followed Maire to the brown dining room, which was the most private and secure. A smile briefly touched his lips; Maire understood him. The hand he held in his trembled and the smile disappeared.
"Inuyasha rarely wants something fancy; today all he gets is Ramen and veggies." Maire turned back to the hanyou. "You're not eating enough greens, puppy. You're going to make yourself sick."
"Bite me," he replied
"No thanks. Dog is bad for digestion." They continued on until she opened a dark wooden door and lead them into a dimly lit room. "Sit anywhere you're comfortable. I'll be back in a bit. There's water and ice on the sideboard, just help yourself."
When Kagome released his hand, he didn't want to let go. He gripped her hand for a moment, squeezing it tightly, then let go and walked away. The room was set as it had been the last time he'd visited. Dark brown wallpaper covered the windowless walls and the hardwood floor gleamed duly in the dim light of the candles in the wall sconces. Tasteful dark wood furnishings surrounded them; on the opposite wall stood a small table set for two and between themselves and that table was another larger one. To the left was a massive sideboard decked with trays and candelabras; the aforementioned water and ice rested in a glass carafe that stood next to some simple cups.
"Wow," Kagome breathed as she walked over to the velvet duvet on the right side of the room.
"I know." Inuyasha glanced around, trying on to look at the girl. "Maire likes to put on a show sometimes, especially for first time guests."
"This furniture is all antique." She appeared to be in awe of her surroundings but he was more than aware that the sadness had not left her scent. He was beginning to get annoyed but couldn't come up with a legitimate excuse to question her. She's not your mate, kid. Even if she was, she's allowed to have her own feelings. Of course his rational mind was only a whisper and he was beginning to notice a snarl in his voice.
"Of course it is," he barked. "Maire is as old as my father. I'd expect that she has even older pieces stashed away somewhere. Most youkai and fae do, mainly so they can sell it after a few hundred years. Humans love antiques."
"I suppose," she replied, refusing to look at him.
"Anyway, Maire will bring some food in a bit. Drink some water in the meantime. I don't need you getting all dehydrated on me, bitch." Inwardly he winced at his tone and words. You fuck-up, he thought. "God damn it," he bit out. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way that sounded."
"The bitch thing I'm starting to be not so offended by. You're a dog hanyou; a female dog is a bitch." She shrugged and turned to look at one of the paintings. "But you're getting bossy with me and have no right to be so."
"I know. I was brought up to behave better than this but…" He trailed off, looking down at his feet. "You're confusing to me and the whole situation is just…"
"Weird," Kagome finished for him.
"Why do you smell so sad, Kagome? Did I do something? If it's about the youkai meat-" His eyes plead with her.
"No, nothing like that." She frowned and looked at her hands tangled on her lap. "It's just- Because the situation is weird. I can't say more than that, Inuyasha. I'm sorry."
"I guess I'll just have to accept that." He sighed and turned to pour two glasses of water for them then sat at the smaller table with the glasses. "Will you sit with me?"
Kagome smiled, but he could still smell a touch of sadness in her. "Sure," she whispered.
A few moments later Maire returned with the promised food and both began to eat in silence. Although he'd picked this place specifically to talk about Kikyou, he was now becoming reluctant to bring her up. He searched his mind for something, anything else to say but Kagome beat him to the silence breaking words.
"You know, this isn't my favorite lunch, but I sure have been craving a club sandwich lately, not to mention a chai latte." She took another bite and waited a moment before continuing. "And it tastes just how I like it, you know? Just how I'd make it myself."
"That's Maire's gift," Inuyasha told her as he picked up a piece of carrot with his chopsticks. "She knows what people crave and need to eat. She understands moderation and nutrition and even follows the rules as much as possible. Still, her main business is giving her client what they want and need."
"How does she know?" Kagome asked, very curious.
"I'm not sure."
"Huh. She said you brought Kikyou here? What did you eat then?"
Fuck, here goes, questions about Kikyou. Inuyasha groaned inwardly. If I just answer and get it over with, it won't be so bad, I'm sure.
"Well…" he started, "I had a steak, very rare with rice and asparagus, a beer to drink and chocolate mousse for dessert. Kikyou-" He paused and made a face. "Maire couldn't get a read on Kikyou so brought what Kikyou ordered, which was Chicken Kiev and potatoes. Kikyou didn't enjoy the experience much and we never came back."
"That's weird."
"Yeah. Apparently, Kikyou was the first person Maire couldn't figure out and it really annoyed her. She swore up and down that the girl had a shield spell up ad was actually a dark sorceress." Inuyasha shook his head. "She even called my mother and demanded that Mom forbid me from seeing Kikyou."
"But you're an adult! You mother couldn't do that."
"Actually," he confessed, "as an inuhanyou, I am forced to submit to `alpha' rule. My mother is- was the alpha female and so had domain over me."
"What did she say?"
"That I could see whomever I wanted."
"That's good."
"Yeah." Inuyasha looked down at what was left of his ramen. "Kikyou and I met in town. I ran into her in the supermarket, literally. I knocked her down as well as several cans of soup. I was mortified but Kikyou laughed and told me not to worry about it. My ears were under a hat at that point so she didn't know I was hanyou.
"About a week later I ran into her again on the street, but this time didn't knock her down. We were both entering the same coffee shop and we decided to sit together. I eventually confessed to being hanyou and it didn't seem to phase her too much but she looked a bit disappointed. A few days later, I went to visit Kaede and saw her there. We talked a bit more and things seemed to be going well. I asked her to go to dinner with me and she accepted. It took a month for me to work up to kissing her." Inuyasha laughed. "Never took me that long before. I hadn't had too many other girlfriends but she was the first girl I really had trouble getting close to. And she was always so busy. Work came before anything. I ended up taking care of Kaede a lot because Kikyou couldn't.
"I ended up taking care of Kikyou, too. She would forget to eat or forget to go to sleep. After six months of dating things started to get more serious. I told her that I loved her and she… She told me that she loved me. She said that she didn't want to love me, because I was hanyou, but she couldn't help it. I held her for a long time while she cried that night and.. she stayed the night." Inuyasha blushed, unsure of how to continue. Just how the hell did you tell your former fiancé's cousin that you'd taken said fiancé's virginity? Especially when you were interested in taking that cousin's if you could?
"She told me," Kagome said softly, "that you were her first lover. That you had ruined her for other men." Inuyasha winced.
"I was her first, that night in fact," he replied hoarsely, "but I sincerely doubt I ruined her for other men. After all, she betrayed me."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."
"No, it's ok. Really." He took a deep breath. "Things were going well, we were happy. She started cleaning my library so she could work in it. I brought her lunch at the university a few times but soon figured out that the scent of the chemicals from the lab really got to me. Soon after she started taking a shower at the university gym before coming home." Inuyasha laughed sadly. "She'd forget to eat and sleep but never forgot to bathe. After a year had passed, I decided that I wanted to be with her forever and I proposed.
"The night was ill fated from the beginning. She came home from work annoyed with her research professor and anxious about something. Nothing I did could get her to calm down and nothing could dissuade me from asking her that night. When I asked, we were in the library and she was just barely paying attention. After the words left my mouth though, I had her full attention.
"At first she just stared at me, shock and horror written on her face. Something in me cracked and I closed the ring box and threw towards her. It landed on her open book. She stared at it a moment and them picked the box up, opened it and put the ring on. She shook and was silent. At the time, I wasn't sure if she'd accepted because she loved me or because she was afraid of me. I'd never done anything to harm her. She wore perfume and I could never smell her emotions properly. I think she did it on purpose.
"Anyway, for a few days neither of us spoke. She didn't come over to my house and I avoided her. But she still had my ring. After three says of silence, she rang my doorbell and told me we needed to talk. I was my usual asshole self and snarled at her, but let her in.
"She told me that when I'd asked her, I'd startled her. She was still young and she'd never even thought about marriage before. The ring she'd accepted because she didn't want me to think she was rejecting me flat out. She had planned to return the ring if she decided she didn't want to marry me. I asked her if she'd come to return it and she said that she wasn't sure. I know I was an asshole to her that night. But I was scared and hurt and was protecting myself the only way I knew how, but trying to push her away." Inuyasha sighed again and picked at the dregs of his ramen. There wasn't much left.
"She talked about her intense dislike of youkai that night, never explaining why, saying the why wasn't important. What was important was that she learned to change. She said she'd been taking advantage of me, taking me for granted because I was so stable and loving. We talked all night. Near dawn she admitted that she couldn't see living her life without me and that was the main reason she'd come. She loved me and needed me. But she still didn't love me as I was.
"She started planning a wedding. All of her family was invited and all of my human family. We had huge fights over inviting my youkai relatives. Finally I got her to agree to my father and my half-brother but no more.
"Things were going well. It was five weeks to the wedding and Kikyou had moved into the house with me. I wanted to surprise her so I went to pick her up from work. I went into her office but it was empty. It shouldn't have been empty. She had office hours. She had students waiting to see her. I thought she might be in the lab again, that she'd gotten caught up and forgotten the time. But then she walked in.
"She reeked of sex. Another man's scent was completely covering her, from her head to her toes." Inuyasha closed his eyes and sat back trying to keep the emotions from tearing him apart. He'd never told anyone exactly what had happened that day and night. "The smell was… terrible. My youkai blood was straining for release and I could feel my eyes going red with rage. The worst part was that there was no scent of fear or sorrow or really any emotions. She hadn't been raped or coerced. She'd just had a good fuck."
He heard Kagome swallow thickly. "There was nothing?" Her voice was sad and shocked.
"Nothing to suggest it was anything other than consensual. I growled at her and took her home. I made a scene: I yelled at her as I dragged her to the car. When we got home, we fought some more. I can barely remember the fight, but I have nightmares about it. I do remember digging my claws into her arms, growling and then throwing her down. I remember dragging her by her upper arms as her feet flailed under her and throwing her out the door, screaming that I never wanted to see her again. I remember tearing my dojo to shreds after kicking her out and then collapsing.
"Then there's nothing more until I woke up in the hospital, the smell of her blood on my hands."
"But by then it had been five days since she died." Kagome furrowed her brow and shook her head. "The blood would have, should have been washed away. The hospital wouldn't have left her blood on your hands."
"I can still smell it sometimes." He looked at his hands in a blank sort of way, fighting the despair and pain that was roiling in his gut. "I know, logically, it's not there, but I still smell it."
"Inuyasha-"
"Don't," he barked harshly, "Don't come near me and don't touch me. I can't deal with your pity." And if she touches me I'll break. A fine trembling began in his hands. I'll break and then I'll try to take her. The youkai is so close, just thinking about that night brought all of it back. He struggled in silence, his eyes closed and his hands clenched.
Suddenly he felt a warmth on his skin all over his body. It was as if a soothing light was passing over him and working its way into his very soul. He relaxed into it, ignoring the voice the told him to be wary. With every passing second, he felt the pain lessening. It was still there, but it was less… intense.
When the feeling stopped, he opened his eyes to see Kagome about to slump over in her chair. Immediately he ran to her side and checked her pulse and breathing. Holding her in his arms he relaxed slightly as her body seemed to still be functioning. Well, she's still breathing and her heart's still beating, I wonder… That was as far as the thought went before she opened her eyes and looked at him. Her normally warm brown eyes had taken on a blue cast and suddenly he noticed that her miko energy was humming and buzzing around him.
She healed me, he thought with no little wonder. But at what cost to herself. Kagome, you idiot.
"Kagome?" he rasped. Her eyes were open, but just barely. He wasn't sure if she was even conscious.
"Mmmm," was all she replied as she snuggled into his chest.
At that moment the door burst open and Maire ran in, a panicked expression on her face.
"What the fuck happened in here?" she screamed at him.
"You know, I'm not quite sure myself," he replied.
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Evil Cliffy, huh?
So Kagome's falling for our "hero" and he's trying to hide/deny that he feels anything for her. How typical. But seriously, things aren't going to stay this way, I swear to you. This is getting boring. We need some action. Next chapter, I promise, ACTION!
No fun facts. I've been busy and had writer's block. I did decide on 2 Halloween costumes. For work, Emily Elisabeth from Clifford the Big Red Dog and for whatever party we decide to go to: a geisha. :-D My fiancé is going to be Hell Boy. We were thinking Chewbacca, but figured it was just too hot and furry for work.
And if you were at all offended by the rambling about eating youkai meat… I'm really sorry and I'm not quite sure where the hell it came from.
Special songs: "A Letter To Elise" and "Lovesong" by The Cure, "I Do Not Want This", "Ruiner", "La Mer" and "Even Deeper" by Nine Inch Nails, "The Killer Inside" by BTE, "Elsewhere" by Sarah McLachlan, "Fair Weather" and "Joyful Girl" by Ani DiFranco, "Judith(danny lohner remix)", "Orestes" and "A Stranger" by A Perfect Circle, as well as U2's version of "All Along the Watchtower" and "Mysterious Ways."