InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Last Girlfriend ❯ Chapter 15 ( Chapter 15 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer:Own Inu-chan I do not.
Own Itokuzu-pi(Sesshoumaru) I do not.
Own Miroku-san and Sango-san?
.......... -.- I don't and I wish I did.

Additional Disclaimer: I don't own author Valerie Frankel's book "The Girlfriend Curse", from which this story I've made a parody of(somewhat). So nobody sue me, or accuse me of plagiarism if you've read the book. I'm just altering some stuff, but the storyline remains indifferent all the same.

X) Oh yeah. The names of the characters, locations and events are plain fictitious.

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Dear Rin-chan:

Sorry I haven't called. Exhausted, unshaven, forced to eat raw vegetables daily. While my farm is being worked on(euphemism for mouse-lift), I'm living in a big house on the river. I signed up to do an elucidation program--adult shrinkage retreat--to figure out why I'm the Chronic Girlfriend. I had to give them 80,000 yen, but what's more important than my emotional well-being? The host shrink is named Miroku Yoshihiko, and I guess I really have to say what a gorgeous man he can make out of himself. He reads me like a fortune in a cookie. Very annoying. Cute, but annoying. I met a guy named Kuranosuke Takeda, who, by the way, is like my true Prince Charming. He's also the Chronic Boyfriend. I'd love to take him up on his offer to fuck me raw, but Miroku says he'll kick me out(thereby leaving me homeless) if I interfere with Kura-kun's emotional development. I have no doubt that he'd do it. He's already threatened to beat the sarcasm out of me with a stick.
Must go. If I miss breakfast, they starve me for six hours. I'll try to call, but we can't use cell phones up here.

Learning and growing,
Sango

Through the blur of sweat, tears, sore muscles, bulgar wheat pancakes and tabouli stuffed cabbage that defined the first days at Inward Bound, Sango managed to get with the program. It was all development, all the time. She knew she'd return to her regular(yet completely changed) life at the end of it. But the surrealism of the current situation--living in a mansion with seven strangers(stranger by the day), eating truckloads of vegetables, ignoring her grooming habits, denying her libido--made Sango question her very identity. Maybe this was just a vivid, masochistic dream.

Did she see herself as someone who avoided sexual contact with a gorgeous man who wanted her desperately?

Strongly disagree.

This particular morning, Wednesday, after dashing off her note to Rin, Sango made it downstairs in time for breakfast(first she'd seen in three days). Kuranosuke was there, of course. Studying her, watching her closely over his granola and organic yogurt. She didn't dare look at him, or smile or massage his balls under the table as she longed to. She was at Inward Bound to learn. And if that meant twisting the coil of sexual frustration tight, she'd try to do it. She'd try hard, hard as a block of ice. Or as hard as a giant throbbing erection you could cut diamonds with.

No! she chastened herself. Stop thinking about sex!

She grabbed a bulgar wheat muffin and ran outside to get away from Kuranosuke. Shima was herding the women in that direction anyway. Time for the customary post-breakfast meditation and body part contemplation.

"Pick a tract, any tract." she instructed them, as the women arranged themselves lotusly on the grass.

A half an hour of this, and Keiko announced, "While traversing through my intestines, I've come to realize that men have habitually treated me like shit. But, then again, I have a toddlerlike fascination with my own feces. I always look at them. In the bowl. Appraise their size and consistency."

Shima nodded. "Very normal."

It was Sara's turn. "While on an imaginary journey through my fallopian tubes, I've come to realize that I've never had good sex, ever, but I'm certain I'm attracted to men, because I often have sexual fantasies about large dogs with huge, hanging balls."

Shima nodded again. "Very healthy."

Sango had taken a walk up her spine, thinking of each vertebra as a step along a ladder she felt compelled to climb, believing each bony rung took her closer to a universal truth that couldn't be revealed to her consciousness at this juncture.

"I admire my own shit too." she said to them. "And I have sexual fantasies about being gang-banged on a park bench in the middle of the afternoon by jugglers and clowns, with an audience cheering me on."

The three other women looked at her strangely.

Finally, Shima said, "I'm glad you've sought help, Sango-chan."

After lunch of fresh-picked berries and Cabot cheddar, Shima took the women to a lumberyard and had them swing axes and chop cord for three hours, practically applying the lesson that they were capable, no matter what they might think, of spotting and cutting out the dead wood in their lives. After dinner of fresh-killed rabbit stew, the women retired to their suite to pack their arms in ice.

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The next morning(Thursday), Shima announced at breakfast that the morning meditation was cancelled.

"We're going biking." she declared.

Riding on the hills of Hokkaido was pleasant but painful. Sango welcomed the ache in her thighs. Anything to keep her from thinking about sex. Although pumping for hours on a phallic-shaped bike seat might not do much to distract her.

They rode fifteen or so miles to Youseimi. Keiko had bitched and complained the entire way out, even though the ride was mainly downhill, when going back would be absolute hell). Shima directed the Inward Bounders into the main entrance of Youseibako, a girls' sleepaway camp.

"Maybe we can mooch a lunch." she said. "The director is a friend of Miroku's."

They sat at a table with eight seventh-graders and pigged out on fried chicken and mashed potatoes. The girls were either twelve or thirteen. At first, they were pretty shy. Not saying much, but watching in awe as three grown women tore into fried chicken like tissue paper.

A girl with braces and blonde hair tapped Sara on the arm and asked, "Are you good with make-up?"

"I'm not good." the brunette answered when she finished chewing. "I'm GREAT!"

That was all the girls needed to hear. They grabbed Sara, Sango and Keiko by the hands and tugged them towards their bunk, leaving a plate of brownies and a pitcher of bug juice on the table.

"We have a social tonight with the boys' camp across the lake." the braces girl explained along the way.

"And you want a make-over." Sara guessed.

"Can you make us hot?" asked a scrawny girl with pimples and dishwater hair.

"Absolutely."

The pharmacy heiress, who'd gotten every cosmetic in her father's store for free from age six, knew her way around a blotter and blush brush. Sango watched from a cot as Sara gave each kid an overhaul, expertly transforming the ducklings into ducklings with painted faces. Keiko fixed their hair into French braids that were doused with spray to hold them until later that night.

Sango smiled and watched, listening as these pubescent kids bubbled with excitement at the idea of spending chaperoned hours with a bunch of awkward and probably, far less mature-for-their-age boys. Out of the bunk's screen door, Sango noticed Shima sitting by herself, facing the sun on the mess hall porch, eating a brownie.

That's when Sango realized that they'd been set up. Shima had made it seem spontaneous. The "Oh, let's go this way" on the ride out. Her "Maybe we can mooch a lunch". The "Extra seats on this table" when they entered the mess hall. Sango assumed the lesson of the day was to show the In-mates just how early in life this whole business started.

Socials, boys, decorating ourselves for their approval.

To count up from thirteen how many years of excitement, rejection and disappointment every woman had to log in by the time she hit an age when marriagelessness became genuinely frightening.

On the ride back, Sango was taken over by it--the ignorance and innocence of thirteen. Sara and Keiko must have been subdued by it too. No one spoke much as they pedaled home, nor at dinner.

Once they returned to their suite before bed, Sara was the first to speak. "I envy those kids. Being with boys, men, should be excitement and butterflies. All the rest of it, the things it becomes--anxiety, confusion--that's the opposite of fun."

Keiko sighed. "Right now, one of those girls is standing alone while all her friends are dancing."

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I need a love that could give me
the kind of love that will last always
I need somebody uplifting
to take me away
I want a lover who knows me
who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
through the long lonely nights
till the dawn
Why you don’t take me away

Dreamlover come rescue me
take me up take me down
take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around
‘cause I wanna share forever with you baby

I don’t want another pretender
to disillusion me one more time
whispering words of forever
playing with my mind
I need someone to hold on to
the kind of love that won’t fly away
I just want someone to belong to
everyday
of my life
always
So come and take me away

Dreamlover come rescue me
take me up take me down
take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around
‘cause I wanna share forever with you baby

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A/N: I only have one thing to say:
(takes a deep breath)
...REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!
-.- (exhales)
;) Told you one thing.
But seriously! Review me! It's a lot cuter on the next chapter! But you might not see it unless you review the chapter!