InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Pearl ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

The Pearl

 

Disclaimer: Keh.

 

Chapter Five

 

There you

there you go again. Breaking

breaking porcelain.

Is that all I am, just a doll you got used to?

~Tori Amos, Goodbye Pisces

 

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A/N: Because this chapter was so frikken huge, I had to post it in sections. I'm not happy.

 

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Sesshomaru found himself standing outside of Rin's room for the fourth time that day.

 

He was supposed to organize an expedition into the new Eastern territory. The land needed to be scouted for strategic points should the need to defend it arise. If that was ignored, he still had a slew of other small projects that needed to be headed off. There was the potential for agriculture that needed investigation in the newly acquired lands from his various treaties. Soldiers needed to be well fed, and as his influence grew his army increased exponentially with it. Trade routes would have to be cut and cleared. And of course there was the potpourri of daily household matters that needed approval. But he had been distracted through the course of all of this, and took walks to clear his mind.

 

He didn't understand why his feet always kept bringing his body back to her closed door. It was empty now, just as it had been empty the other times before. He didn't have to look inside to know she wasn't there. There was nothing and no one in his house that escaped his senses. All the same, he felt Rin's absences more acutely of late, and it had almost gotten him into trouble.

 

That night he held her in the tree was…new. The last time he had held her had been when she breathed life again after dying for the pearl. It felt strange and slightly awkward at first. She was much warmer than he had remembered, but then again she wasn't just surfacing from the throes of death. Her body was still small, but fuller from muscles and curves. And the most disturbing thing was that she smelled good. There was no artificial scent lingering on any part of her body; it was Rin, pure and untainted. When she was a little girl, Sesshomaru often found himself sniffing the air after Rin just to take in her unique blend. The tiniest hint of her baby smell lingered then, along with other scents of her person. Secretly, he felt sad the day the baby scent completely faded. Of course, that had been the beginning of his realization that she was only growing up to die. Now, holding the adult Rin, he intoxicated himself by hovering centimeters away from her hair. All of this was fine. He was touching her because she needed to be consoled, and he was consoling her because she was his ward and responsibility.

 

But he did not want to let go. It felt good, and he wasn't about to jeopardize it. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. As the minutes ticked into a full hour of sitting in the tree with her, he wondered if she would be capable of keeping up this little game for a few hours more. Just her in his lap, while he gazed out upon his empire and buried his nose in her hair.

 

Sesshomaru snarled at himself and stomped away from the empty bedroom. He was ashamed the thought had even idly surfaced in his mind. Rin was not a pet—hadn't she been screaming that before he pulled her against his chest? Hadn't he sworn to himself when she first began following him that she would be above that demeaning rank? Yet here he was, wondering if she would graciously accept this kind of treatment; wondering if she would bow to his whims like a lapdog. What upset him the most was the idea came so naturally to him, as if he had known all along this was the way things were supposed to be.

 

He was a fool. He had always suspected it of himself when he first accepted a human into his company. Only until she is well enough to be on her own, he told himself. But then he began to notice how fragile she was, and how much she needed his care. If he were to turn her out, she would not be able to survive happily. That was his second mistake, being concerned about her happiness. It never occurred to him to consider the feelings of another creature; of course, it had never occurred to him that other creatures might have feelings to begin with. He had suspected Jakken of harboring such a capability, but such dealings were not of any interest. Rin had feelings which radiated from her being like multicolored slivers of light. If something was so hapless as to get caught by one of the beams, there would be no escaping its effects. The day he first laughed at one of her jokes was the day he realized Rin's power over him.

 

He was helpless when it came to Rin. And he loved her, all the same.

 

The demon turned sharply on his heel and stomped down the hallway. The day had been quite stressful. Hadn't he been so eager to retire? To what purpose did standing outside of a closed door serve his goal of going to bed? Sleep would not come easily, and he knew it. No matter how tired he was days like this left his mind buzzing for hours. Sometimes he would leave his bed in the middle of the night to draw out some scheme on paper in hopes it would finally leave his brain peacefully. Tonight, his thoughts were far away from where they needed to be. Matters of grain and trade dropped into the pool of his consciousness like small stones, sending ripples across the surface that gradually smoothed themselves out. It was Katsuro's absence that kept churning the waters about. The young dog demon was no where to be found.

 

Katsuro was one of Sesshomaru's top generals, despite the fact that he was also one of the youngest commanding officers in the army. As a soldier, Katsuro was always disciplined when called to fall in the ranks. What he did during his free time was not Sesshomaru's concern, though he could not help but overhear remarks in reference to the young man's reputation. Now, Sesshomaru was beginning to wonder why he had trusted the general so much, especially in regards to Rin.

 

It was only a matter of time before it happened, and Sesshomaru knew it. Perhaps, if he had schooled her in the ways of being a soldier before those befitting a lady, the potential for this could have been eliminated. But he wasn't about to fool himself. No matter where he put her, or what he taught her, Rin would always be beautiful. Letting her freely associate with the men had not been something Sesshomaru willingly condoned. However, he had much bigger matters to attract his attentions than making sure a little girl stayed out of trouble. He had tried setting Jakken on her, but neither would have any of it. Jakken was very often the object of ridicule amongst the soldiers, and resented being placed in the thick of “those mindless brutes.” Through the course of her years in Sesshomaru's care, Rin had become quite skilled in losing Jakken, consciously or not. So she did as she pleased. It was a small comfort that she had been raised well, and would not do anything unbefitting. He had seen to that. But Sesshomaru could not attest the parental involvement in any one of his soldiers was dignified, and it was them he did not trust when it came to Rin. Glares, growls, and softly murmured threats effectively quashed any hand from touching the girl, but they could not stop eyes from drifting below her collar bone. It was bound to happen eventually. One of them would think so highly of himself, and be just stupid enough to touch her without fear.

 

He should have killed the general on the spot. He should have forced Rin to tell her side of the story right then, in the room, instead of opting to comfort her in his embrace. Or, once having heard the details of the incident, he should have jumped down and kicked the young man across the floor until it bored him. But he did neither of these, and Katsuro had escaped punishment. As to where he might run to, Sesshomaru did not have a clue. He thought better of the man than to imagine him cowering in the forest, and knew he would be smart enough to leave the Western Lands altogether. Katsuro didn't strike him as the type to sell out and betray the West, but he knew better than to put it past him. Soldiers knew to do little else than be soldiers, and without an army Katsuro would be compelled to seek employment elsewhere. And if he was foolish enough to pursue Rin away from the security of the shiro, the girl would be more than willing and quite able to take care of herself.

 

Sesshomaru was tired of worrying about it. There were only a precious few who knew of Rin and the purpose she served in the Western Lands, and even fewer who understood exactly how the pearl came into play regarding that matter. If Katsuro made a move, Sesshomaru would know. It would be easy enough to handle; after all, a deposed general had little credibility, and one with a reputation like Katsuro's could easily be brushed aside as speaking little more than idle chatter.

 

Rounding the corner, Sesshomaru gave a long suffering sigh when he noticed Jakken standing nervously outside of the bedroom door. The retainer knew full well of his master's ill-mood; he had witnessed a great deal of it first-hand throughout the course of the day. To further provoke the demon lord was unwise, yet there Jakken was, waiting patiently to test his luck with some nagging matter of little consequence.

 

“Sesshomaru-sama,” Jakken softly greeted.

 

Sesshomaru recognized this tone as the, “I'm about to ask you something that I'm afraid might result in you taking off my head,” voice. The dog demon sniffed, signaling the imp to begin.

 

Jakken gulped. He recognized the sniff as the, “You have exactly twenty seconds to capture my attention before I search for something to hit you with,” signal.

 

Falling to his knees, the toad groveled appropriately. “Sesshomaru-sama,” he began, “it has come to this Jakken's attention that Rin has not yet returned.”

 

Sesshomaru snorted. This was not any news, and Jakken knew better than to assume his lord would not know this. There had to be something else behind this statement that the retainer obviously felt should be brought to attention. The narrowed his eyes and tightened his lips together, mentally squeezing the imp to come to the point.

 

“Of course you do not need to be told information that you already know!” the toad gulped, seeing his master's attention was swiftly closing out whatever it was he had been reading. “I only wish to bring this to your attention because this Jakken is curious if any word has been received on the girl?”

 

At this, Sesshomaru paused. There was never any communication back and forth between the two parties during missions. Rin knew better; if she were to be found and connected to the Lord of the West, all of Sesshomaru's plans would crumble and the world would be knocking at his door, begging for blood. If he affiliated himself in any way with her, it would spell both of their dooms; hers for being a killer of nobility, and his for benefiting from it.

 

“She said she would be back in three days,” Jakken continued, clearing his throat and raising his voice. His master had gone on a mental walk, but Jakken wanted answers enough to risk intruding on Sesshomaru's reverie. “It has been four days, and Rin is not back yet. It's not like her to be late.”

 

Sesshomaru grunted. Yes, it was unlike the girl to be late for anything. Having been raised with a militaristic background, Rin understood the importance of consistency and promptness. One day did not seem like something to overreact over, but this was the first incidence of tardiness she had ever shown in all the years she followed her lord. The dog demon frowned. Now Katsuro's absence reared forward in his consciousness and loomed dangerously close to the mental construct of Rin's absence. Something about these two ideas together added into a troublesome answer.

 

At long last, Sesshomaru turned to Jakken and spoke directly. “Have a small unit send out inquiries in the surrounding areas for General Katsuro. This Sesshomaru has cause to believe that the reason for Rin being late is related to the general's untimely departure.”

 

“Yes my lord!” Jakken squawked eagerly. The faithful retainer jumped to his webbed feet and took three enthusiastic steps before freezing in place. He appeared to have something else he wanted to say, but was hesitating. Whatever it was apparently weighed heavy on the toad's mind, especially since he considered it worth provoking his master's ill-patience further.

 

“Jakken,” Sesshomaru said through his teeth.

 

The imp in question turned slowly, eyes darting about in a panic. His little hands were wringing themselves wildly, cracking knuckles in the process. Finally, he managed to muster the courage up to speak.

 

“It's just that, Rin, she…,” Jakken squeaked. “She promised to be back in three days. She promised me.” Having said everything and lowering his head, the retainer then turned back around and plodded off to carry out his master's bidding.

 

The dog demon watched Jakken go. Such concerns were troubling to hear coming from the retainer; he had never imagined the imp to worry about anything except being left behind or beat up. It was unsettling.

 

Sliding the door open and closed a little harder than he intended, Sesshomaru began distractedly removing his armor and swords. Out in the woods, these things remained on his person at all times, but here in the shiro he was allowed to relish in the comforts of an actual bed. At first, he changed into a light dressing robe to sleep in, but decided it was much too hot for it and switched to a pair of thin, white linen pants.

 

The room was stuffy, and Sesshomaru eagerly opened a window and leaned outside. The sky was a rich shade of blue-black, making the stars stand out even brighter than usual. A cool breeze fluttered past, as if it sensed the lord of the land was calling out to it. The dog demon allowed himself an arrogant smile. Perhaps, after conquering the four lands, he would set out to conquer the four winds. He knew it was too early to feel secure in his success, but just for tonight he decided to feel like the world was under his rule.

 

It felt gratifying for about five minutes, before his mind drifted back to Rin. If he ruled the world, then why could he not find her? Why was she lingering just beyond his reach? How could such a thing be possible, if he ruled the world? Was Rin meant to forever elude his grasp, no matter how powerful he became?

 

Sleep, he ordered himself. She will be back tomorrow.

 

Half-heartedly accepting his excuses, Sesshomaru lowered himself to the floor and rolled onto his futon. He pulled the covers over himself, but quickly kicked them off. It was just too hot. His hair would be another problem in trying to stay comfortably cool; twisting it into a flimsy rope, Sesshomaru pulled his hair above his head and over the edge of the mattress so it spilled onto the floor and not over his back. Closing his eyes, Sesshomaru fitfully schooled his mind into a state of peace in hopes of getting at least a few hours of sleep. It didn't surprise him that his thoughts wrapped around the feel of Rin against his chest. Such things would lead to nothing but trouble in the end, and he knew he should chase these dreams away.

 

But in the end he decided that if he could imagine himself to be the lord of the four lands on this night, then he could also permit himself to entertain the warm tenderness of a human woman's embrace. Tomorrow, reality would chase away these dreams and set him straight. Tomorrow, Rin would come back and he would be one step closer to igniting war between the East and South. Tomorrow, he would be himself again, and not be bothered by the haunting memory of some female's scent.

 

Tomorrow, he would go to bed and dream forbidden things again.

 

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Tokijin woke Sesshomaru with a blood-curdling scream.

 

Being roused from a deep sleep, the dog demon struggled to alert his muzzy senses into clarity. Apparently his body was being slow to cooperate, because he could still not tell just what it was that had crept through the window and hid itself in the shadows. Rolling upright from his side, and then standing, he strained his eyes in an effort to determine what was wrong.

 

The sword had flared its demonic energy in alarm, calling to its master in a plea for action. It wanted the blood of whoever had woken it from its sleep, and would not settle until it could feed. This invader must have been foolish enough to try and wield the sword, and was undoubtedly repelled backwards by the blade's wicked strength.

 

Unhindered strength, Sesshomaru noted soberly. Tenseiga's cry of protest could not be heard, and its absence fueled Tokijin into a full-on frenzy. The dog demon let out a warning growl as he darted over to his weapon to calm it. Snuffling the air through his nose and over his tongue, Sesshomaru nearly choked.

 

Without hesitating, the demon's clawed arm shot out in the darkness and grabbed hold of the body whose outline was beginning to stand out. Tenseiga clattered to the floor when the thief let go, in favor of fighting the choke hold he was under. For a moment, Sesshomaru was content to let his victim struggle. He just didn't want to believe it. In the darkness, it could be anyone. His sense of smell could be doubted as long as he couldn't confirm with his eyes whom it was that he was strangling. A choked sob escaped the lips of his captive, and Sesshomaru could delay it no longer.

 

Walking backwards into the light, he felt as if a dagger had suddenly been thrust into his back and was steadily making its way through his heart and out his chest. He didn't want it to be her. But his eyes could not lie; the vision before him was a reality. Sadly, he noticed that even when she was desperately fighting for her life, she was still beautiful.

 

“Rin?”

 

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