InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Pearl ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

The Pearl

 

Disclaimer: I don't own it, but it sure owns me.

 

Chapter Six

 

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He's absolutely mad.

 

Rin dropped her jaw in disbelief at the scene laid out before her. Shoujii was contentedly sitting by a low table, which was furnished with the accoutrements needed for a proper tea ceremony. He really wasn't joking about the tea, she realized in bewilderment.

 

“Come,” the demon beckoned, gesturing to a cushion just opposite of his seat. “Sit.”

 

They had released her bonds once she had been let into the room. Rin realized very quickly though that she posed little threat despite the fact she was free. The walls were lined with heavily armored guards, and with no weapon of her own, and the pearl away from her body, she stood absolutely no chance of escape without being captured again.

 

“I thought we might go about this civilly,” Shoujii explained. “I'm told you're quite the little noblewoman, when you want to be. Of course, how could I expect any less from one raised in Sesshomaru's household.” Gracefully, the demon poured the tea into two cups, and then pushed one towards Rin before he took his own between his palms.

 

“Sesshomaru-sama,” Rin gritted, clenching her fists.

 

The guards crashed their armor against one another as they leaned forward with swords drawn. Signs of aggression were their order to strike, and their number would assure victory on their part. Rin shook her head and forcefully opened her palms. The soldiers returned to the wall, at ease.

 

Fine, the girl huffed in her head, if he wants a lady, I'll give him a lady. I'll take any leeway I can get.

 

Gracefully, Rin schooled her posture and glided over to her seat. Despite not wearing a flowing robe, the air around her seemed to flutter as she sank to the floor. Shoujii nodded in approval.

 

“Help yourself,” he murmured, reaching for his cup and blowing on the steam. Rin followed suit.

 

They sat quietly for a moment; she tried to keep her eyes trained on the table, and he tried to keep his eyes on her as much as possible. It was a game of who could get to whom, and Rin was the one who surrendered first. Gently, she put down her cup and folded her hands neatly in her lap.

 

“Why am I here?” she whispered.

 

Shoujii choked, and had to forcefully swallow the liquid in his mouth. “Why are you here?” he wheezed. “You came here to kill me! Now that was a silly question.” The demon grinned smugly and waited for his teasing to take effect. He was not disappointed.

 

“I mean,” Rin growled, “why am I sitting here, having a damn tea ceremony with you?” All the while, she had not raised her eyes from the table, and her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap.

 

The young general put down his cup and straightened his spine. “My dear lady,” he soothed, “I wish you no harm. I am…intrigued as to how one such as yourself has caused as much trouble as you have. And,” he added, picking up his cup once more, “I need you to do something.”

 

At this, Rin lifted her head. Shoujii was staring at her over the rim of his cup with hooded eyes, one eyebrow raised, and a sly smirk. The girl visibly blanched. The demon softened his features and finished off his tea, then held the cup in his fist as he addressed his guest once more.

 

“It's not anything terrible, I assure you,” he continued. “Really, you cannot honestly believe you can be caught in my house like this without a consequence? I consider myself a decent fellow, above killing women and children and all that, so you can rest assured I have no intention of killing you. In fact, I see no reason why I should bear you any ill will.”

 

Rin raised an eyebrow. She did not like where he was going, by any stretch of the imagination. “Then what do you intend to do with me?” she sulked. “Why should I believe you? I came here to kill you, and I probably would have if that bastard Katsuro hadn't ratted me out. And you say you aren't going to punish me? Bullshit.”

 

Shoujii shook his head. “You misunderstand, Rin-chan---”

 

“Don't call me `chan',” Rin interrupted.

 

“---I never said I would not punish you,” the demon continued, ignoring the girl. “But it will not be by my hand that any harm will befall you. It is not you that I have a grudge against.” He gritted his teeth and narrowed his gaze. The girl nodded in dumb understanding.

 

“I want something from your Sesshomaru-sama,” Shoujii sneered.

 

“He will give you nothing.”

 

“That is why you will take it for me.”

 

“He will give me nothing as well.”

 

Shoujii laughed. “I didn't say for you to ask him for anything, I want you to take it, and bring it back here. Then you can have this back.” He pulled the pearl out from inside his shirt and held it out for Rin to see.

 

She wanted to leap for it, but knew better. Feeling the back of her neck as she looked at her now broken collar, she knew they had used a thick, sharp blade to shatter the metal. Probably an axe or a scythe did it. The indent was still healing on her skin. Even if she did manage to get it from him, she would not be able to fight off a roomful of soldiers with only one free hand. And she didn't trust Shoujii's word any more than he trusted her to stay put; no doubt he would kill her, if given the proper motivation. Rin strangled a sigh as she watched the demon slide the pearl back into his shirt. Her shoulders fell as her heart sank in defeat. This whole plan reeked of disaster, and from what she could tell all of the misfortune stood to rain on her head.

 

The demon smiled triumphantly. “I want his swords, the Tokijin and the Tenseiga,” he explained calmly. “Bring those back to me, and you can have your necklace again. After that, you can do whatever you want. Come visit me again, if you'd like.” He grinned wickedly and his eyes glinted.

 

“What would you do with the swords? You can't expect to use them,” Rin haughtily sniffed.

 

Shoujii nodded. “Ah, I am well aware of this, but I can always try. And frankly, I just want them to humiliate your pompous lord. Childish really, but effective.”

 

“And you think he will let you get away with it?” Rin snorted. “He'll have half of his army at your door, and it will still be twice as large as any attack you could hope to muster.”

 

“It's touching to see you so concerned for my well being,” Shoujii teased, smiling warmly. “But you would be better to worry about yourself. You're in quite a mess as it is. It would be well for you to try and clean it up.”

 

“What guarantees do I have that you won't try to kill me, either while I'm out doing you this `favor,' or when I come back?”

 

“None. But you must admit it's worth hoping for. I can promise you things until I'm blue in the face, but you'll no more believe me than I will myself. All you can do is hope for the best, and plan for the worst.”

 

As Shoujii finished his speech, he reached forward for the cast-iron tea kettle on the table and poured himself some more tea. He lifted his eyes and jiggled the kettle in a gesture meant to offer Rin any more. She shook her head. He shrugged, then sank back down into his seat and began blowing away the steam from his cup.

 

Rin sat in silence, and mulled the offer over in her head. The demon had to be absolutely mad, she was sure now. He was sending her home, where she could then easily return with the swords safely at Sesshomaru's hip, along with a few thousand soldiers armed to the teeth. Not one threat had passed his lips towards her, and suspicion clouded her senses.

 

“What happens if I don't want to do it?” she demanded. “What happens if I fail?”

 

“You will not,” Shoujii answered calmly, not bothering to look up from his drink.

 

Rin raised herself upright on her knees and slammed her palms down on the table. “You arrogant bastard!” she screamed. “I'll kill you with my bare hands, so help me---”

 

At this threat, the walls began closing in around the table, moving swiftly towards the girl and meaning to crush her. But Shoujii held out his hand in a bored manner, stopping the soldiers' advance. Looking down to his chest, he reached in his shirt and pulled out the pearl once more. Thoughtfully, he smoothed his thumb over the surface and seemed pleased to do so. Then his features twisted into a livid glare, and one of his claws scratched the surface of the pearl, leaving a mark.

 

Rin screamed and fell to the floor. It felt like her arm had just been ripped off her body completely. In her writhing, she managed to reach her hand up and rub her aching shoulder. To her shock, she felt the joint had become unhinged from its socket. No hand had been laid upon her, and yet she was reeling from some unseen attack. Over the roaring in her ears, Rin could hear Shoujii laughing darkly.

 

“Just so you know, Katsuro did not tell me that would happen,” he chuckled. “I merely guessed.”

 

“Bastard,” Rin coughed, curling her body into itself for defense.

 

The demon stood and casually walked over to the girl. “Really, for one as educated as you are, I would expect some other name than just `bastard',” he sighed, looking down on Rin from where he stood. He waited for her to regain her composure, watching as she sat up and smoothed down her hair. Smiling in satisfaction, he knelt down by the girl and looked into her eyes.

 

“Are you going to see things my way?” he baited. “Or am I going to have to experiment a little more? Because I don't want to.”

 

Rin bit her lip and turned away. Just as quickly as he had ignited her anger, did he soothe her nerves and romance her senses. She hated him, and for all he hated her, Shoujii spoke like they had been lovers for years and were merely having a spat. It made Rin shiver.

 

Shoujii smiled, and delicately traced his claws across Rin's bicep, making the girl's body shake as she whipped her head around to him. “Do we have an accord?” he asked smoothly, as if he had merely tapped her on the shoulder instead of caressed her skin.

 

The girl could not help feeling like her final thread of humanity was being twisted around the clawed finger of the moth demon before her. She found herself laughing nervously, and hid her face in horror as her skin flared red.

 

Nodding solemnly, the general stood and motioned to his soldiers. Three of them stepped forward, and pulled Rin to her feet.

 

“Give her a fast horse and some food,” Shoujii said sharply to the soldiers. Then he turned to Rin and clapped his large hand onto her shoulder. The fingers constricted, and his claws faintly needled her skin. “I'll expect you back by tomorrow night.”

 

~*~

 

She didn't reach the castle until late in the night. The horse they gave her was fast, but it still wasn't Kado. Rin was quite sore upon her dismount, and cursed under her breath for a minute about the incompetence of the groom who had decided to use the largest saddle possible when tacking the horse up. The entire ride had been spent sliding back and forth along the ridge, squeezing hard with her knees and trying to not fall off and bust her head open.

 

The dumb animal was left to graze; Rin made her final approach on foot. In an effort to keep her second life a secret, a hidden entrance had been constructed at the south end of the outer wall. The door was hidden on the ground, and opened into a tunnel which carried her under the second and third walls, and allowed her to resurface in the garden where she was safely guarded from view by thick foliage. Rin felt ashamed that she was so out of breath after her trip, and she paused to lean against the outer wall to rest. For the entire journey, her heart had been hammering away at her ribcage, and steadily sending nails up the back of her neck into her brain.

 

This is not going to work, she mourned. She didn't feel right about any of it. Why was she even here? What part of her honestly expected Sesshomaru to hand his swords willingly over to her, much less another demon? But if she didn't…

 

Having already died twice, Rin was not feeling noble enough to sacrifice herself again for the good of Sesshomaru's cause. The whole purpose of the pearl was so she would not have to worry about dying, ever again. Faced with an ultimatum, she knew she had to at least try and get the pearl back. Plan for the worst and hope for the best, Shoujii had told her. There was the strong possibility that Sesshomaru would be sensitive to her plight, and rally to her side. For as much as he put into the creation of the pearl himself, he had to have deeper feelings for his ward. She would return to Shoujii's castle with her champion in tow. How better to enforce the invincibility of the Western army than to obliterate a formidable foe?

 

Her breathing and heartbeat had evened themselves out to a more relaxed level of nervous terror. It had been close to ten years since she had seen the inside of her lord's bedroom. When she was first moved into the house, her room adjoined his, allowing her to access his chambers when he permitted it. Sometimes in those early days, he had been content to sit and read over maps and whatever else needed being read, while she amused herself on the floor with various toys. Some of them she had made, like the doll she had sewn and dressed all by herself. Some toys had been given to her by General Kyoshii and Takako-san, in their hopes of sharing in on the collective rearing of the child. But she had only been allowed into a small area of the room, and had no way of knowing if the layout had been changed since then. Rin would just have to rely on blind luck in this case.

 

The garden seemed more ethereal at night. When she opened the little door and stepped inside, her breath caught in her throat from the pastoral scene before her eyes. There were maple and cherry trees, various shrubs and bonsai, flowers of every color, and even a small koi pond; every piece of the landscape was painstakingly arranged centuries ago. In the far left corner, an unenclosed deck with an elaborately carved roof marked the end of the large stone path that snaked throughout the plants and trees. There, Rin had been allowed to make her own additions to the greenery. It wasn't much; she was rather fond of annuals, because she could change the composition of her garden every spring. Many hours of painstaking care were invested into the design and maintenance of the small plot of land she claimed.

 

It struck her now how appropriate it all was. The main garden, built by Sesshomaru's ancestors, had stood for centuries unchanged. Then along came Rin, and forced her own insignificant signature on the ancient soil. If she died, the flowers would not be re-planted, and it would be as if her garden never existed. As if she never existed. Would she be forgotten as well?

 

No, she resolved. This will not be the end of me. I won't be made into an insignificant memory.

 

A noise startled her, and she fell to the ground behind a flowering shrub. From what she could tell, someone had opened a window. Through the leaves, she could discern a light coming out of the house, so she shifted to get a better view on the situation. Once more, her breath caught in her throat from what she saw.

 

He was leaning out of the window, as if he was going to leap out of it at any second. His arm stood taut on the sill, while his torso angled out in a strong diagonal until it reached his hips, where his body was brought back into a vertical line. Tendrils of silver hair hung delicately away from his body, while whatever was left of it spilled down his arms and back like water. And there he stood, unapologetic as always, completely unashamed to flaunt the strength and weakness of his appearance to the night sky.

 

Sesshomaru's lips screwed into a cocky smile, and Rin almost laughed. But what held her back was not the fear of being discovered; it was the sadness in his eyes that closed her throat. He was lying to himself. Some thought was being falsely validated on his conscience, and while his body may have accepted it, his mind knew better. Rin was afraid of him, like this. Jakken had always said their lord was infinitely more dangerous when he smiled, which was only partly true. He was dangerous when he smiled from a lie, because he would do anything to protect his false truths.

 

The demon sighed before he returned to his darkened room, leaving the window open behind him. Judging by the way he was dressed, or more appropriately, undressed, Sesshomaru was getting ready for bed. Rin couldn't have asked for a more perfect and less honorable way to attain her mission's goal.

 

You're his ward, she thought desperately, he'll understand.

 

And yet, why was she climbing through his window in secret to avoid him? Why could she not come out and openly plead for his aid?

 

You're his soldier, she realized grimly, and he'll understand that more.

 

Rin sat in the darkness for two hours. At one point, she dozed off into a light and dreamless sleep, but rustling leaves jolted her awake. Every nerve in her being felt on fire, and she imagined she could feel the warmth of the moonlight on her face. She could wait no longer.

 

Rin made no sound as she crept towards the house. Crouched beneath the window, she listened for any noises that revealed the state of the room's occupant. Shallow breathing was her answer. Rin didn't know why she felt like she had to hold her breath while crawling through the window. It was as if she was making a dive into a lake, and had to swim to the surface to breathe again. Her eyes were already well adjusted to the gloom, so she had little problem scanning the composition of the room. It was smaller than she remembered, and she wasn't sure if it was because she was bigger or because he had constricted the space with his growing possessions. But where would he put what he prized most?

 

It wasn't anything visual that clued Rin in to where the swords were kept. The Tokijin apparently sensed a foreign presence in the room, and not being under its master's direct control let its malice expand. A chilled sense of foreboding blanketed Rin's body, constricting her heart and lungs. It was easy for her to grab hold of the sword's power like a rope, and follow it to where both blades were propped.

 

She had never touched a demon sword before. Rin had been instructed at a very young age to be wary of her proximity to Tokijin and Tenseiga. While the exact effects her fragile humanity would elicit from the swords were unknown, it was almost certain a great deal of suffering would be the result. The coldness of Tokijin's aura crystallized the blood in her veins, making each heartbeat agonizingly painful. It would probably be best, she decided, to try holding Tenseiga first.

 

Timidly, Rin extended her open hand and let it hover over the heirloom sword's hilt. She did not fear this sword, but had a healthy respect for its vast power. In her mind, it did not matter the caliber of the sword when it came to distributing death. All blades were alike in that aspect. The Tenseiga therefore stood apart from all others, because it could do something no other weapon could. Not even the holiest of mikos or the most enlightened monk could bring back the dead. A sword that could not kill, yet in the hands of a human it still held potential harm. Demonic power was never meant for mortal flesh.

 

Please, Rin begged, please know me. Please remember me. Please.

 

Steeling herself, she gently closed her fist around the hilt.

 

Instantly the suffering Tokijin had inflicted was dissipated. Warmth filled her very core, and Rin heaved a long sigh of relief. The sword seemed almost happy in her tenuous embrace, emboldening her to pull it tightly to her chest. It was as if the pearl had never left. The strong aura of a soul's vitality bathed her flesh; Rin was so overcome with peace that tears began to pool in her eyes.

 

But even as all of her fears were being quelled, a gentle snore shattered Rin's reverie back into the situation at hand. Sesshomaru was sleeping fitfully; whatever dream he was having was playing across the features of his face. Lying on his stomach with his arm flush on the mattress, he had managed turn his head in a manner that fanned the entire length of his hair behind him in a wide fan. His pale skin glowed softly amidst the darkness, excepting for his striped markings which appeared black. A large, dark `X' marked the center of his back, stretching around his ribs to taper into the stripes worn on his chest. In the relaxed state of sleep, Sesshomaru's fangs shone prominently from the corners of his mouth. In all of this, he appeared as less of a demon and more of a wraith. Yes, he was beautiful, but not an inch of his deadly nature was masked underneath the veil of sleep. Rin swallowed hard. How was it that she had now become so frightened of the man who protected her for the majority of her life? With the onset of her shame, Rin was overcome with the urge to run away and never look back.

 

Without thinking she grabbed Tokijin, intending to balance her burdened flight. Instantly, the hilt sizzled and yanked harder at her body so she could not let go. Rin's eyes widened in terror and enlightenment all at once. As Life resided within the Tenseiga, so did Death inhabit Tokijin. She knew its chill voice as soon as the sword began to speak.

 

Forever, it screamed, drawing her further in.

 

In a panic Rin jumped backwards, and ended up tumbling over a low table that sent her sprawling on her back. The voice was gone, but the demonic energy in the room had become doubly suffocating; Sesshomaru was awake.

 

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. It wasn't minutes before his hand grappled onto her throat in the darkness; it was years. Out the window, the sun and moon spun their courses at a dizzying pace, yet the world inside the room remained unchanged.

 

He wasn't holding her with his real strength she realized, but that implied he knew what manner of creature he was holding. Still, she was choking and cried out in a plea for air. Did he know it was her? Rin could see his face quite well, and watched his eyes widen and narrow as smoothly as ocean waves. He was drawing her into the light to see—to confirm what he knew to be true. She struggled, even though she knew it was futile.

 

“Rin?”

 

Just her name. Just another word in a vocabularic sea. Yet the voice carrying the tiny burden was laden with sorrow. Tears streamed down Rin's face. He was ashamed of her.

 

“I can explain,” she sobbed remorsefully.

 

Sesshomaru's face shifted into a scowl. This was completely unbecoming of Rin; whatever there was to explain could not be good. The fact that she had dared to sneak into his room, and then precede to try and steal his swords merited a thorough explanation. Yet he found himself with rapidly decreasing patience to hear it.

 

“What are you doing?” he gritted out, still holding her at arm's length.

 

“Please,” she whimpered, “I need your help. He's going to kill me.”

 

“Who is going to kill you?”

 

“General Shoujii.”

 

The demon released the girl and watched her fall limply to the floor. She was coughing, and clutching her neck—her bare neck. The pearl was gone, he suddenly realized. She had lost the most costly thing he had ever given her, and nearly lost the most valuable thing she had given to him.

 

“What did you do?!” he shouted angrily, clenching both his fist and his teeth.

 

Rin stared up at him and could only cry harder. “He knew I was coming! Katsuro betrayed you; he told everything!” She fell face down to the floor on her knees, and covered her head with her hands. “Shoujii has the pearl.”

 

Sesshomaru had to step backwards. Even after all they—all he had done to make sure the pearl was safe, she had still managed to lose it. Not only that, but she had failed in her mission, and had the audacity to return back to his house! What if she had been followed? How could he then deny his involvement in the assassinations? He could wake up the next morning and have the whole of the South and East banging on his front door and screaming for blood. It would all be because of Rin. Katsuro betrayed her; it wasn't a wonder how! The girl had been so fond of her teacher, and probably told him every little flaw she had, trusting he would use them to help her and not to kill her later. And he had let all of this happen right under his nose! Careless, sloppy, reckless, foolish…

 

“Why did you come back?!” Sesshomaru demanded.

 

From her spot on the floor, Rin could feel his demonic aura whipping tendrils wildly through the air. This aura was different from Tokijin's in that it was a scorching heat instead of a bitter cold. She could almost feel her flesh sizzle with each brush of his youki. Never before had she seen him this angry, and it was over something she did.

 

“Rin is sorry,” she trembled.

 

It was everything he had ever feared coming true. This little slip of a girl had managed to bring the entirety of the world crashing down about him, and yet he still yearned to comfort her. How long had he been fooling himself in this humiliating charade? Weak, weak, weak! Unforgivably weak! he screamed in his head. He had managed to surpass his father in power and influence at only half of the old man's age. And he still let himself fall prey to a human female, in half the time it had taken the Inu no Taishio to explore his fondness for mortals. He was on his way to getting everything he ever wanted, and he had stupidly entrusted the means to this end with a child. Even as his rage blackened his heart, a voice in the back of his head reminded him that “everything” had included Rin.

 

The whole room was vibrating. He realized that he was on the brink of a full transformation, but he didn't care. If he were to suddenly loose all composure and splinter his entire house with the power of his aura, it would be permissible. He had been made a fool. To think that he had even dared to entertain the idea of this pathetic human as a companion was beyond shameful. It was a mistake to have brought her here, he realized. It was a mistake to have involved her in his life.

 

It was a mistake he probably would make again if she didn't leave right now.

 

She was babbling something about how she needed the swords to trade for the pearl. She insisted that he help her, and return to the general's house to finish the job she should have done on her own. He had trained her to be no less than the best, and here she had failed no less than completely. Her speech had regressed to that of her childhood, further revealing her weak nature to him. It was so clear now. She had been dependent on his strength from the start; he had always known that. But now he realized she had also abused him even as a child. He had given her everything she could have ever needed or wanted. And how did she repay him? By betraying his trust and taking from him what he held most dear. Was it still not enough for her?

 

If she had merely asked for help, instead of trying to fix the problem herself by way of stealing, would he have given it to her? Would he be reacting like this if she had come to his door and pleaded her cause?

 

He couldn't answer; he couldn't be sure.

 

“Sesshomaru-sama?” Rin begged, lifting her head up to look at him.

 

Regret filled her instantly when she fell fully under his gaze. His fangs had elongated and sharpened, and he was grinding them noisily. A powerful wind swirled around his body, threatening to whip her about like a wet rag. And his eyes… Rin had never seen Sesshomaru's eyes in any other color but amber, though she was attune to their varying shades of the single hue. Their sockets were stretched impossibly wide to better accommodate tissues now engorged with blood. Golden irises became emerald pinpoints set on a field of crimson.

 

His appearance was terrifying. He looked poised to strike down anything so hapless as to move in his presence. Rin realized her life was endangered now by two demons, and neither one intended to show her any mercy. He was looked as though he was going to kill her, and instead of fighting back all she could do was count the pieces of her heart as it broke.

 

Sesshomaru took a step forward. He could hold back no longer; everything about him was aching to explode.

 

“How dare you presume such things of this Sesshomaru! You failed; it is not my job to clean up after you! After all that I have provided and have done, you dare to endanger my house and steal my father's sword? This Sesshomaru will hold you responsible for every soldier lost when the South and East mutiny against me. You have only served to make a direct attempt on this Sesshomaru's life in an effort to save your own pathetic one!”

 

When he had finished screaming, he found his body crouched on the floor and mere inches away from Rin. His shoulders were heaving with his labored breathing. Something inside of him was begging he turn back, insisting that this was dangerous ground he was treading upon. He ignored it.

 

Rin was biting her lower lip, cracking it open in a few spots so it bled. Her mind had become clearer as well, and she realized everything she had believed until this point was a lie. He had used her. All this time, when he acted as if he actually cared for her had been a show. He needed her; she had known that from the beginning. But he had only needed her to take the fall for his empire. She had been raised to be his sacrifice, and given the pearl to ensure her work would be carried out. It was not forever with him, it was forever for him.

 

“Then you will let me die?” she choked.

 

Sesshomaru grabbed Rin by the collar and jerked both of them to their feet. He pulled her flush against his chest. In his mind, the scenario was carried out as thus: he would hug her fiercely, yell at her a little more for scaring him, then hug her again and get dressed so he could return with her to retrieve the pearl. But in reality, the sequence of events played themselves much differently.

 

“This Sesshomaru made it clear from the beginning that you cannot be linked to this house,” he rumbled in a low, menacing tone. “You were made aware of the dangers you would be facing. Why is it then you think you are the exception to the standard?”

 

The last piece fell to the floor, and Rin was completely broken. It dawned on her that not only did she have nothing to win, but she also had everything to lose. Every thread of fate was constricting her body and cutting into her skin. She was going to die. She wasn't sure when, or how, or who would do it. But it was inevitable.

 

“You made me what I am!” she screamed. Bitter tears ran down her face, and her nails dug into his hand which still gripped her shirt. “You were the one who came up with this plan, and YOU dare to try and blame me for it backfiring? I am merely a tool; it is your poor planning that is to fault! I sacrificed my life for this?!”

 

“Sacrifice?! I gave you everything!” he roared.

 

“You gave me lies!” she countered.

 

“I saved your life!”

 

“You sold my soul!”

 

“Then you were foolish to give it to me!”

 

It didn't come out quite as he intended. He had merely wanted to point out the stark differences between a demon's and a human's mentality. She had expected him to know what to do with her, and safeguard her feelings in the process. In essence, she called for sensitive functionality in their relationship. Demons couldn't understand why humans valued emotions so much. Yes, he did have feelings. Right now, he was feeling resentful of his poor judgment. He knew he had been misinterpreted by the look in her eyes, but he was too angry to consider revising his actions. What was done, was done.

 

It all came out as she had feared. She had merely hoped he had some part of him left that cared for her and always would save her. He had thrown every kindness, every sweet thought, and every ounce of love she gave him back in her face. In essence, he was telling her that each year was worthless to him. Everything she had done meant nothing. Demons were wicked creatures, and she was foolish for ever thinking she could exist among them without falling prey to their instincts. She was human, and though he may have helped her survive, she would always remain a victim.

 

“Then why don't you kill me?” she challenged in a whisper.

 

Sesshomaru tried to hide how much her words startled him, but he could not stop his jaw from falling open briefly. It would be better to kill her, he knew. Without the pearl, he could get it over with quickly. Then he could slaughter each and every demon in Shoujii's house, effectively controlling the damages he had already suffered from Rin's discovery. A random soldier could be singled out and named as the assassin, so when his dead body was pulled out and presented, the South and the East would think of the West as their promised champion. He would still have the land they gave him, and would still save face before any doubt could be cast against him. There would be other plans he could conjure in order to secure the four lands under his rule. In fact, if he killed Rin, he could freely venture into the North and massacre the wolf demons there. His grip tightened.

 

She was no longer resisting, as if she expected him to snuff out her brief life. It was almost as if she welcomed death, after having spent over a decade fighting against it. Her face relaxed and her body fell limp in his grasp. Looking into her eyes, he could hear her speaking words he had forced himself to be deaf to for years.

 

I loved you, she said.

 

Loved?

 

Whatever spark of love there was had been erased. She had loved him. Now she feared him, and even despised him. Sesshomaru gulped hard, though his mouth had gone totally dry. What had he done?

 

Rin let out a keening cry when he threw her to the ground. Slowly, Sesshomaru began to quiet his violent aura. She was looking to him now with a glimmer of hope, but he could only bring himself to look at her from profile.

 

“I never should have brought you back,” he grated.

 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Rin flinch. Again, words had failed him. He was lamenting her plight, and still he managed to sound as if he hated her. If he had never saved her, she wouldn't be crying on the floor of his bedroom. If had never saved her, she would have only had to die once. If he had never saved her, she never would have loved him. And even though he had saved her, he missed the chance at her love all the same. He could have had everything he ever wanted.

 

Rin wanted to live. Sesshomaru had stayed his hand from taking her life. If she pleased Shoujii by bringing him the swords, then she could have her pearl and wash her hands of everything. Let Sesshomaru deal with this, she decided, it is of no consequence to me, and I am of no consequence to him.

 

“I'm taking the swords,” she rasped.

 

The demon snapped his head and looked at the girl face to face. “You will not,” he growled, aura flaring anew.

 

“You owe me!” Rin screamed, standing up. She stomped over to where Tenseiga had fallen and picked it up. “If you never should have brought me back, then you at least owe me this. So you can never make the same mistake again! So you can't ruin someone else's life by destroying her soul!”

 

A swirling whirlwind once again picked up with Sesshomaru at its eye. In a blur of white he ran over to where Tokijin stood and drew it from its sheath.

 

“This sword will only part from my dead hand,” he threatened. “Take the Tenseiga if you wish. It is of no worth to me.”

 

And then she was gone. Without hesitation, Rin dove out the window and through the garden, hurling herself underground to emerge on the other side. The horse startled and skittered sideways when it saw her running its way. Forcing the animal to quiet itself by yanking the reins sharply, Rin catapulted herself into the saddle and spurred the horse onward. She heard a loud explosion, and alarm bells from behind her. Voices were shouting—she may have heard someone calling her name, but she didn't care to believe it.

 

She used the sword to beat the horse into a continuous gallop. The animal was frantic and terrified, which made it even harder for Rin to stay in the saddle while being jerked about. When her throat became sore, she realized she had been screaming like Hell was nipping at her heels for the entire ride thus far. Her eyes were too swollen and fogged with tears to see much of anything. Stray branches that she barely missed ducking away from stung her face. Rin no longer existed in thought or feeling; she became a fire tearing through the forest, with no soul and no concern to the trail of ashes in her wake.

 

A great deal of the Western Lands was covered in forests. The terrain well suited dog demons, and gave them ample hunting grounds. The tree-line marked the border between East and West. Bursting from the forest into the Eastern Lands, Rin shivered. There was no turning back now. There was no way she could ever go home again. It had all been very well done by her master, and she was dead to him.

 

Rin was completely alone.

 

When the mansion came into view on the horizon, Rin yanked the reins to make her mount stop. It happened much too abruptly, making her pitch forward off the saddle and land in the dirt on her back. The horse, who was now completely terrified of the girl, took off running anywhere that would take him away from her. It didn't matter, because she barely noticed anyway. Laying there on the ground, Rin's whole body wracked with sobs so powerful her lungs threatened to expire.

 

“I HATE YOU!” she screamed. Rolling onto her stomach, she pounded her fists into the dirt and kicked her feet wildly. “I hate you! I hate you!” For all appearances, she was a child throwing a temper-tantrum. A passer-by might be tempted to scold her, saying, “Throwing a fit isn't going to get you what you want.”

 

She had wanted him—so much.

 

It was only a little delusion. In her heart she knew it was never meant to be, and never would be by any stretch of the imagination. But while she was in the house, she could at least pretend. One day, she wished, he would touch her face and smile at her, like she was his most valuable treasure. More important than his swords. More important than his empire. More important than even himself. As long as she remained by his side, she could imagine he loved her.

 

But no one loved her. She had been betrayed and left to fend for herself. She was alone in a mortal limbo—too wild to be welcomed by humans, and too weak to be accepted by demons. To make matters worse, she couldn't even attest to the fact that she was alive to begin with. What she was right now was a soulless body. With the pearl nearby, she could feel some pulse of life. But the pearl was in the hands of a demon who wanted her dead, and he would only kill her at the most opportune moment. Until he decided, Rin was destined to forever wander as an empty shell, fated to be separate from everything she wanted and hoped for.

 

All because she thought being together forever with Sesshomaru would be all she needed to be happy.

 

For a moment, she wondered why she should even try and get the pearl back anymore. What good would it do? But then she would never know if she was going to die. Rin didn't put it past Shoujii to torment her in this fashion. No, she needed to have the pearl once again, even if it meant her useless life would be spared. At least then she could be allowed the dignity of ending it herself.

 

But she had only managed to take the Tenseiga. Shoujii had asked for both swords; perhaps he would be displeased enough to kill her for this. It was worth hoping for, she sadly realized. Right now, she was desperate to try anything that would put an end to her misery.

 

I never should have been saved, she mourned. But if that is what the fates had planned, then I never should have loved him. I could have stopped that.

 

The sun was rising; Shoujii might send people out looking for her. If they then happened to find their way into the Western Lands, Sesshomaru would have yet another cause to hate her more than he already did. She slowly pulled herself onto her feet and brushed off her clothing.

 

Walking stiffly towards her fate, she couldn't help but notice how brightly the sun was shining. Didn't it know the world was coming to an end?

 

~*~*~*~*~