InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Street Musician ❯ Confusion in Love ( Chapter 13 )

I do not Own Inuyasha & Co.

 

 

Well, here we go! It's another chapter of Street Musician! I am so glad I have the time to write more often :-D. I couldn't be happier! Thanks again for your patience and support, everyone! Now, on with the chapter!

 

 

Chapter 13: Confusion in Love

 

 

Kagome decided to walk back to the dorm, leaving Inuyasha at the restaurant. The words he said ran through her mind, cutting her like knives. His request scared her. She tried to make sense of the two of them performing before screaming audiences, the media spotlighting them, their lives no longer private and belonging to the public.

 

The more those thoughts flew through her head, the more her brain complained. Her eyes squinted shut as she reached to lean against a nearby fence for support. Her breathing quickened as her heart raced as she lowered herself down to the grass beside the sidewalk. Once she settled, she turned to look over her shoulder to see Inuyasha leave the restaurant, throwing his drink into the nearest garbage can in anger and frustration as he slowly walked up to the tree near the entrance and laid his forehead against it, his head shaking in disbelief.

 

Tears fell from Kagome's eyes as she watched Inuyasha's disposition. The frustration bled from him and she could feel it down the street. She felt the need to run to him and apologize, but he stepped away from the tree and pulled his cell phone from his pocket to make a phone call.

 

“Great…I bet I won't hear the end of this. If there's anyone he's calling, it's Miroku. Am I a fool?” Kagome asked aloud as she looked the other way in shame.

 

@*@

 

 

As the conversation with Miroku ended, Inuyasha stepped into the apartment and then kicked off his shoes. He set his keys on the table beside the door. The look on his face was empty, emotionless. He felt how he looked. Rejected by Kagome's choices. Sure she indulged in his talent, enjoyed experiencing his heart, only to tell him she's not interested in joining his path. Talk about a contradiction. Her feelings towards his offer floored his mind. Sure, there is no assurance of success in that path, but at least it's worth the shot. What he feels in that subway is amazing when she's with him. Without her, there's no purpose to it.

 

Yes, he did originally become a Street Musician to make money for college, but the reasons had changed ever since Kagome's voice entered the picture. `Til she entered his heart. To him, with her understanding of his heart, they must have been soul mates. However, does he really know her?

 

“Maybe not.” He said aloud as he closed the door to his room and turned to eye the bed before him. The bed that holds such memories of their souls touching. That bed holds such precious times to him. Though they had only joined a few times, it was more than just an average fling.

 

 

@*@

 

 

Sango had been studying that afternoon, thanking the Gods for some quiet time for studying and a few moments of reflection. Just as she had dropped her pen on the desk and leant back to crack her stiff back, a knock sounded at the door.

 

Sango got up, asking herself, “whose come knocking?” She made her way to the door and peeped through the tiny hole to see Miroku waiting with a sullen expression on his face. She opened the door to let him in. “What's wrong?” She asked him as he stepped in passed her.

 

“Inuyasha called, and it's not cute.” Miroku said as he took a seat on her bed.

 

“Uh oh, what's happened?” Sango asked in concern as she sat beside him.

 

“Kagome rejected his request.”

 

“What request?” Sango asked innocently.

 

“To perform with him as a duo.” Miroku said as he looked across the room to Kagome's bed, wondering what she was thinking.

 

“Oh, my…That doesn't make sense.” Sango replied, following his gaze as her eyes reflected sadness.

 

“No, it doesn't.”

 

“So, how's he taking it?” Sango asked curiously.

 

“He's pretty broken up over it.”

 

Sango's eyes wandered Kagome's bed, catching a notebook settled in the middle, the page on top riddled with black ink. She stepped away from her bed and lifted the notebook to read what Kagome wrote. Miroku became curious and stepped up behind to read over her shoulder a few moments later.

 

Once they both finished the page of emotions, they looked at each other in question as a key turned in the door, causing them to look in that direction. What they both saw shocked them both. Kagome stepped in with a sullen disposition. Sango and Miroku stepped back from Kagome's bed as the girl in question dragged her feet to come before them and then fell face forward onto her bed with a moan. Sango and Miroku looked at her sour form and their faces drooped to match her downtrodden disposition.

 

Sango couldn't think of anything more appropriate then sitting beside Kagome and rubbing her back softly. “What am I gonna do, Sango?” came from the saddened girl as Sango continued to rub her back.

 

“What happened?” Sango asked curiously.

 

“Inuyasha…He asked me to perform with him. We had an amazing response in the subway earlier, and he took me out for dinner afterwards. Then he asked me to perform with him.” Kagome explained as she sat up, grabbing her pillow to cradle it to her chest.

 

“And what was your answer?” Sango asked.

 

“I told him I'm not interested.” The girl answered simply.

 

“WHAT?!” Sango exclaimed as Miroku set his hand on her shoulder to calm her.

 

“I knew you wouldn't understand why I feel that way, and I'm sure you're not the only one who wants to wring my neck.” Kagome replied as hurting eyes caught Sango's confusion.

 

“What do you mean we wouldn't understand?” Miroku asked kindly.

 

“I just…I know what Inuyasha and I can accomplish together, and how successful we could be. It's just that…” She trailed off, not knowing how to say her next thoughts.

 

“Just what?” Miroku asked.

 

“That's not what I'm going to school for. That's not the career I wanted. Plus, Inuyasha and I could end up famous, in demand and then we'd belong to the public.”

 

“And what's wrong with that?” Sango asked.

 

“That's just not what I wanted for myself. Sure, I wanted people to love my writing and all, and become published. But to become known as a lyricist and vocalist?”

 

“Kagome, you are multitalented. You can offer so much, and you have so much more freedom for career choices than Inuyasha and even I have. Kagome, tell me. How special is Inuyasha's heart to you?” Miroku asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“More than anyone else's.” She replied.

 

“Okay. Do you think his heart has touched yours?” Miroku continued.

 

“Very much so. His heart is so beautiful and free. So deep and sublime. Captivating.”

 

“Okay then, wouldn't you love to bring his heart to light for everyone else interested in such a treasure?” Miroku suggested.

 

“Well, yes. But I worry about how he will handle what all comes with that responsibility. I mean, he's so free-spirited that he wears his heart when he plays like a loud T-shirt. He has no fear of the public eye, and he's so innocent. He may get slaughtered by piranhas in the media.” Kagome shook her head as she continued, “He has no clue what happens to innocent hearts seeking fame.”

 

“And you do? Ya know, you may be surprised at his strength. He's out there, almost everyday, playing because he loves it. I don't think he's looking for personal gain. I believe he's doing it because people love his heart and his soul. You think he just started doing this yesterday?” Miroku pointedly asked.

 

Kagome shook her head, but said nothing. “Kagome, this is what he wants. Not only that, but he'd be devastated if he couldn't share this with the one he's fallen deeply in love with. I know the kind of man he is. If he couldn't have you there by his side, up where he feels the most complete, he won't pursue that future.” Miroku brought to light.

 

“Yeah, I know. All that keeps going through my head is that all I'm good for is a great fuck, some great lyrics and a wonderful voice to go along with it.” Kagome spat as tears fell from her eyes.

 

“Kagome, don't you realize what you just explained?” Kagome raised her frustrated eyes to meet his. “Everything that symbolizes that you and Inuyasha are one. Kagome, none of those things you mentioned is just about you. They are about how you complete him. All those things sum up what he lacks!”

 

“I complete him?” Kagome asked.

 

“Yes. That was Inuyasha's way of saying that to you. Kagome, Inuyasha isn't just coupling with you for a good time. It's much more than that. It's spiritual. His soul craves what only you can provide. One-ness. What's driving him is the fact that your soul can complete and compliment his on more than one level.” Miroku explained.

 

Kagome sniffled, “So, you think I should humor him?”

 

“Not humor him, accept that your paths have been crossed for a reason. Before now, Inuyasha's aim was more to get into college. Now, it can't be just that little reason. It's much bigger now, and that thirst can't be satisfied without you, period. Without you, he will have no career in mind. He will more than likely end up a Street Musician for his living, gathering up change for his wages as he hopes something else would turn up.” Miroku explained as he knelt before Inuyasha's lover.

 

“It was you he called after he left the restaurant, wasn't it?” Kagome asked, gaining a nod from Miroku.

 

“Wait, you saw him?” Sango asked as Kagome nodded.

 

“Then, you know that what I've said here is exactly how he feels about you and the future.” Kagome nodded in response. “Then you must make a decision. Either walk beside Inuyasha, or take another path.” Miroku suggested plain and simply.

 

“Miroku, don't get the wrong idea. I do love him. I just am a bit shocked over what he's asking me to do here. This path won't be easy for either of us.”

 

“And he knows that. But it's much easier when he has someone right there with him. He needs someone supporting him and loving him all the way. Accept his destiny, and be there for him. Unless you feel there are others, out there in which you can provide the same for. Inuyasha has nowhere to go but up, Kagome. Think about it.” Miroku stood and set her notebook upon her lap.

 

“Listen to your heart, Kagome. I believe it's trying to tell you something rather important.” At those words, he grabbed Sango's hand and she rose to leave the room with him silently.

 

Once they left the dorm room, Miroku dialed Inuyasha's number and waited for him to answer.

 

(Click) “Hello?”

 

“Hey, Inu, it's me. Yeah, I talked to her. She's confused. Yeah. Yeah she still loves you. Actually, it sounds like you two need to chat about this now. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. No, we left her just now. Yeah, at the dorm. No, we won't be far. Yeah. Cool. Talk with ya later. Ja.” Miroku snapped his phone shut as Sango caught his eyes and they entered the elevator to go up a floor to Miroku's dorm.

 

 

@*@

 

 

Kagome read her words over and over as the afternoon events passed through her mind. After it had all passed, she fell back into the bed. She was beginning to feel exhausted. Deep emotions can be harsh to get through. She began to wonder if Inuyasha was feeling as tired and down as she was at that moment.

 

Her eyes closed, as silence finally began to relax her. A little bit later, a knock sounded at the door as well as a soft familiar voice saying, “Kagome, it's me.”

 

Kagome opened her eyes and sat up as she called out, “Inu?”

 

“Yeah.” Came from outside the door.

 

“Coming.” She called softly as she got up and walked to the door. She peeped through the little peep hole and saw him leaning up against the door frame, facing out towards the hall. She opened the door to reveal Inuyasha's pain filled eyes. Just as much pain as was festering in her soul. She stepped aside and said, “Come in, please.”

 

Inuyasha stood from the wall and stepped in past her, his eyes looking elsewhere. The disposition he was exuding was painful to see, but she knew she deserved such a cold presence.

 

As she turned, he took a seat on Sango's bed, looking down at the floor before him. Kagome quietly walked to her bed and sat down across from him. Once her bed stopped bouncing, his hurt eyes met hers. Neither could speak. Their souls connected as tears fell from both sets of eyes.

 

After a few moments of silence, Kagome's mouth opened to speak her apology when his eyes grew harsh and he stood tall before her as his breath quickened. The conflicting emotions swirling in his body caused him to gain a feeling of frustrating confusion. Kagome backed away a bit as Inuyasha stepped forward to get closer. Before they knew it, they found themselves on Kagome's bed. Kagome's back was against the wall as Inuyasha was on his knees with his hands rested on the wall, Kagome's head between them above the headboard.

 

Kagome held her breath as his frustration melted and his shoulders shook. `What is going on with him?” Kagome asked herself as she reached out with her right hand and touched his left cheek. Her touch seemed to calm him as his eyes sought hers.

 

“Inuyasha, I am so sorry. I understand now. What you're searching for.” He couldn't say a word. His eyes reflected his conflicting emotions as he tried to suppress and make sense of them.

 

“You crave completeness. You want me by your side. One thing you need to realize, is that there's not only just one path we could take. All I'm asking is that you think about both of us, and all possibilities. I love you, Inuyasha. I didn't mean to hurt you. I am a bit protective of you, actually.”

 

“Protective?” He asked, confused as to why.

 

“Yes. I don't want a life full of such responsibilities to change you. I care for and love you so much just the way you are, that I fear what that path may do to the both of us.” She explained.

 

“Kagome, I understand now. It's just, you never know what may occur in the future. I know what I want to do with my life. Only thing is, without you, I won't be able to accomplish that goal.”

 

“I know, that's why this hurts so much.” Kagome replied as her head lowered.

 

After a moment, he lifted her chin with his finger as he replied with, “Then let go of that head of yours, and follow your heart. Your heart is the deepest part of your soul, Kagome, and I know it knows more than your brain. Kagome, reality does suck, but a strong heart can help you get through anything. That's what I believe.” Inuyasha then rested his forehead to hers and closed his eyes.

 

After a few puffs from his nose caressed her face, Kagome's legs spread further apart and his knees settled between them as he sat back a bit while he lowered his hands to her shoulders.

 

“Kagome…Please. Follow me. I'm lost on who I am without you. If you don't want to sing, that's fine. At least write the lyrics and the melody. We can audition someone else to sing the melody if you feel you can't do it. You could stay with me and do what you love most.” Inuyasha suggested as he brought his lips to her chastely.

 

“No singing? No performing on stage?” Kagome asked between kisses.

 

Inuyasha stopped kissing her as he replied with, “None. None after we leave the subway scene. After that, you can remain in the background as my lyricist/composer.” Inuyasha then went back to administer his love to her jaw and then her neck.

 

Kagome began to pant as his kisses destroyed the depression within her. Thoughts ran through her mind such as, `How could I say no?' and, `I can't leave him. I need him just as much.' She held his body close as he lifted her a bit to her knees, pulling her flush against him. Their kisses became needy as they panted heavily. All thoughts of the afternoon were forgotten as they let their bodies do the talking, bringing them into a passionate world only a physical mindset would understand as they made up entirely, both hoping to never fight or argue like that again.

 

 

@*@

 

 

Not long ago, Sango and Miroku arrived at his dorm room and they settled in to talk softly over the day's events. They sat together on his bed, leaning their backs against the wall as they both stared across the room. The emotional outbursts and complications their best friends had been having were beginning to exhaust them. All the two of them could hope for was that the couple would get their act together, literally.

 

Sango had never seen Kagome so bent out of shape over a guy before. Miroku had been just as shocked about Inuyasha's heart. Miroku and Sango expressed how perfect those two are for each other and that it was being their counselors that happened to exhaust them.

 

“Kagome is so lucky.” Sango sighed as she fidgeted with her jean cuffs.

 

“Yeah. Inuyasha is lucky as well. I would give my left nut for what they have.” Miroku mentioned, causing Sango to giggle. “What? I'm serious about that!”

 

“Oh, Miroku, it's just how you word things…” She then helplessly broke off into another fit of giggles.

 

“But then again, I may not have to.” Miroku said suddenly in a soft tone.

 

Sango then stopped giggling at his words as she noticed the change in the atmosphere. She looked to see his eyes dreamily looking through her. She gulped as it hit her. He was addressing their relationship. She looked away as he leaned over slowly and pressed his lips to her left cheek.

 

Sango's breath caught at the innocent act of affection. When he noticed her reaction, his lips met her skin again, kissing downward to her chin, then to her neck. Sango didn't know what to do. As she began to pant, his left hand caressed the other side of her neck, holding her still as his opened mouth kisses streamed back to her left earlobe.

 

Sango gasped at the tender suckling and the tingles that shot through her body. Miroku began to cheer inwardly over her reaction to his forwardness. She didn't hate him. Though, he still awaited her voice to ask him to stop. As he continued, Sango's mind flew a mile a minute. Her heart felt need and desire flare up from it's depths as her mind panicked. Adrenaline pumped as his hand slid down her sleeved arm, caressing it tenderly.

 

A moan escaped her lips, causing Miroku to blow gently into her ear. She shuddered and instinctively moved away, causing him to sit up and reveal to her his soft and loving gaze. She eyed him in shock as she panted, hoping her heart would calm down.

 

Oddly, she still felt the movements of his lips against her earlobe. She brought her left hand up to touch the tingling appendage. A smile graced his lips at the innocent action as he asked, “Did you enjoy that?”

 

Sango eyed Miroku for a few moments, not knowing how to describe how she felt. Sure, part of her wanted to continue. Make that a big part. Then there was her realistic mind whose voice tends to get in the way of her heart. Out of all the odd times they had had together, she never thought Miroku was a guy she would feel even the slightest interest in. Now, she is suddenly forced to weigh her heart's voice against her mind.

 

“Well? Shall I leave it there? Or should I continue?” Miroku asked kindly.

 

“I-I…”

 

“Was it that bad?” He asked as he backed up a bit and leaned fully back against the wall beside her.

 

“No, it was wonderful. In fact, I didn't want to stop.” Sango explained with a blush.

 

“Oh. I just wanted to make sure it was okay before things got outta hand.” Miroku explained as his eyes shifted to his hands innocently.

 

Sango looked to her own hands and saw them shaking slightly. “You love me, don't you?”

 

“Yes.” Miroku replied as he turned honest eyes on her. “How do you feel about me, Sango?”

 

“I'm actually trying to figure out what my mind is saying.” Sango answered as her eyes met his.

 

“Your mind can never understand love. Sango, you are a very logical woman. Love is a mystery to the mind. Love is illogical. That is why lovers get into trouble often because the heart acts on impulse and need, not logically. Never ask your mind if a relationship is right. Well, unless you plan to love for selfish gain, of course.” Miroku said with a chuckle.

 

“I never thought of it that way. You're right.” Sango replied as she turned to face him fully, leaning her head against the wall, making full eye contact with him.

 

They eyed each other silently for a few moments, letting their eyes speak the truths their mouths couldn't. Before they knew it, they had kissed tenderly a couple more times, and then ended up holding each other close and enjoyed being in each other's arms.

 

 

@*@

 

 

After a while of cuddling with Miroku, Sango figured she had given the lovebirds enough time to sort things out. She then left Miroku's dorm and went back to her own. When she arrived at the door, she placed her ear to it to see if she could hear anything. She heard nothing. She then knocked a couple times to be sure, and still, no response. She then put her key in the lock, and entered into a dark room, filled with silence.

 

Sango, still feeling uneasy, quietly slipped out of her shoes. `I'm tired. I think I'll go right straight to bed.' Sango thought as she entered the bathroom and shut the door, causing a pair of eyes to open.

 

After a few minutes, Sango left the bathroom and walked quietly to her dresser, flicking on the tiny lamp atop of it. Suddenly, she heard a moan sound behind her. `Wait, that wasn't…' Sango's mind froze at the realization that she had entered the dorm while Inuyasha was still there.

 

She heard movement on the bed behind her, as she remained frozen with her back to the sounds. She realized she had woken up Inuyasha.

 

“Sango.” Inuyasha yawned, causing her to look over her shoulder to see his head peaking over Kagome's side.

 

“I'm sorry I woke you. I promise I won't look if you don't.” Sango mentioned as she searched her drawers for her nightclothes.

 

“Sounds fair. Where were you?” Inuyasha asked.

 

“Duh, I was with Miroku.” Her response caused his shifting to stop as she felt surprised eyes hit her from behind. After a few moments, Sango continued with, “Not in that way, Inu. We talked.” Sango shrugged.

 

“Oh. Well, at least I know I won't have to pound him…yet.” Inuyasha replied as he climbed out of the bed, pulling on his boxers and jeans.

 

Sango giggled at his comment as she shut the drawers, setting her nightclothes down on her bed and then turning to face her friend. She gasped inwardly at the sight of his taught muscular physique. Sango quickly looked away as dark rouge crept up on her cheeks again.

 

“Oh, and don't worry about Kagome and I. Everything's fine. We worked it all out.” Inuyasha said quietly.

 

“I can see that.” Sango replied shyly.

 

Inuyasha looked her way as he pulled his shirt down the rest of the way and sat on the foot of Kagome's bed. “Something wrong?”

 

Sango looked up, relieved to see him fully clothed. “No, it's just…” She looked off to the side again. `You're body is too enticing, and you're not here for me.'

 

“Just what?” He pried innocently.

 

“Giving you enough privacy is all.” She replied shyly.

 

“Well, I don't need any now, I'm fully dressed. What's eating you?”

 

“Nothing. Just an embarrassing situation is all. But I am glad to come home to you two happy again.” Sango covered it up well, and with a smile too.

 

“Oh, yeah. That was rather embarrassing. Sorry about that.” He apologized.

 

“No, it's okay. Well, I should get to bed. I'm pretty tired.” She pointed out.

 

“Yeah, it's late.” He agreed as he then lifted himself up on the bed, spooning Kagome. Sango grabbed her clothes and walked straight for the bathroom, hurriedly closing the door.

 

`What is happening to me? He is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen!' Sango thought to herself as she sat upon the toilet and placed her hands over her face, hoping to forget the perfection she had just seen. Sure, Miroku is handsome to her, but the reaction she had to Inuyasha's physique was down right sinful. Not only that, but she'd betray Kagome if she couldn't keep those feelings in check.

 

Inuyasha, unaware of Sango's emotions and actions, brushed the hair from Kagome's neck, and kissed her tenderly, causing her to awaken. “I'm heading out, Kagome. Plus, Sango's here.” At those words, Kagome shifted her lazy eyes to the lamp on the dresser across the room.

 

“She didn't see anything, did she?” Kagome asked, hoping the answer was negative.

 

Inuyasha shrugged. “Just my naked chest.”

 

“Oh…” Kagome breathed a sigh of relief as she looked at her lover. “I'm glad we're okay now.”

 

“Me too.” Inuyasha whispered as he leaned in for a soft and long goodnight kiss. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” At Kagome's reply, he slipped from her bed and grabbed his things as he stepped into his shoes.

 

Just as he was about to turn the doorknob to leave the dorm, Sango opened the bathroom door. “Goodnight, Sango.” Inuyasha said with a relaxed smile as he opened the door.

 

“Goodnight, Inu.” Sango replied as he broke eye contact and stepped through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

 

Sango sighed inwardly as she crossed the room to get into bed, noticing a wrapper on Kagome's side table. `Thank goodness.' She thought to herself as she flicked off her lamp and crawled into bed.

 

After a few moments, Kagome broke the thick silence. “Sorry about earlier.”

 

“Why?”

 

“How childish I was. We worked things out, as you can see.” Kagome replied as she held up the empty wrapper.

 

“All I can say, is I hold a lot of respect for Inuyasha. He takes great care of you.”

 

“Yes, he does.” Kagome agreed as she dropped the wrapper in the garbage can beside her bed.

 

“So, what did you both decide?” Sango asked.

 

“That we belong together. I will perform with him, when I can, in the subway. Then, when it goes further than that, I will be in the background while he performs with others. `Least that's what we've decided for now.” Kagome replied, as she lay on her side while holding her comforter to her bare chest.

 

“Oh. Sounds fair.” Sango replied as she then rolled over and closed her eyes, biting her lip as images of him topless flashed through her head again. She groaned aloud as it started up.

 

“What's wrong?” Kagome asked.

 

“You don't wanna know. Trust me on that.”

 

“Is it about you and Miroku?”

 

“No…well…no.” Sango replied in a confused tone.

 

“Then what is it?”

 

“Kagome, I did see something earlier before Inuyasha left…”

 

“Oh, his naked chest.” Kagome said with a chuckle.

 

“…Yeah…”

 

“It's okay. He is gorgeous, isn't he?”

 

“My Gods, Kagome…How do you keep your hands off that chest?” Sango asked.

 

“I can't!” Kagome exclaimed with a laugh, causing Sango to laugh as well. Sango then felt comfortable about the situation, knowing Kagome could only agree with her. After a few minutes of laughing, they both fell asleep peacefully.

 

 

@*@

 

Well, that was chapter 13. Nice and long one, eh? I know it's been a long while since I last updated this fic, but I certainly hope it was well worth the wait for you all. Thanks again for remaining patient, and I hope to devise some sort of system soon. Ya know, how to manage my life around my writing ;-P Well, `til next time, ja ne!