InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The World Through His Eyes ❯ Now or Never ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: Lets see…if I owned Inuyasha…*gets evil grin* Oh, the things I would do! But alas, I own him not…neither do I own the song that is used below.

 

::RECAP FOR CHAPTER 5::

 

“How would Inuyasha's soul filling a gap in mine kill you?” Kagome ignored her last words about Kaede and focused the other things Kikyou had said. This new information explained away some of the strange things that had been happening since the spell was cast, like her newfound ability to feel his pain, but Kagome still didn't understand the significance of Kikyou's words. Her face must have showed some of her confusion because the priestess spoke again.

 

“You don't get it do you little girl? As a miko you should have at least sensed what was going on! You're willing letting him corrupt our soul! If the gap in your soul ceases to exist then the piece I have will disappear forever. It will have no place in this world anymore!” Kikyou's voice sounded desperate and Kagome began to understand.

 

`Inuyasha's soul is becoming part of mine and there's no place for Kikyou's piece to return to. His soul is changing ours into something different that she's not apart of.'

 

“He's becoming a part of me.” Kagome whispered to herself. Suddenly bright colors flooded her vision and she felt her stomach flip flop. Inuyasha had apparently reestablished their soul-link. He would be on his way to find her soon. Or at least she hoped so.

 

“You must reverse the spell before it is too late for me…for our soul!” Kikyou's voice sounded harsh to Kagome's ears. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was this stupid girl happy to have her soul meshed with that Inuyasha's?

 

 

Chapter 8: It's Now or Never

 

 

we sit here yearning for this world to stop turning around

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Every important change that affects us has a small beginning. Sometimes, when our lives are drastically changed we can pinpoint the very moment that started the whole snowball effect. It doesn't happen often, because the very nature of change is that we don't notice its gradual creeping. In fact, Inuyasha could only count three such moments in his life; the day he heard about the shikon jewel, the moment he felt Kikyou's arrow pierce his heart, and the first time he'd caught a hint of Kagome's scent in the air. But those three little words that had just tumbled out of Kagome's mouth were destined to be added to his short list.

 

`Kikyou will die' It echoed over and over in his head. He didn't want to believe it, but the desperately guilty look in Kagome's grey eyes confirmed one of his worst fears. Kikyou would die again, and just like the last time it would be his fault.

 

He was shaken from his numb thoughts when he felt a particularly strong surge of guilt and self-hatred scramble through his emotional tie to Kagome. He looked at her for the first time since her out-burst, really looked at her. She was rocking back and forth whispering nonsense like, “It's all my fault. I should have told sooner, but I thought it would just all go away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”, but strangely enough there were no tears in her stormy eyes. He wondered absently if all the stress of the last three weeks had finally sent her over the edge and into some kind of shock.

 

It was then that it hit him. She had known. This was what Kikyou had told her, this was Kagome's secret. And she hadn't told him. A small part of Inuyasha tried to reason, as anger began to bubble up in his chest, that Kagome couldn't be blamed for the situation they all found themselves in. She was, after all, just as much a victim here as Kikyou was, maybe even more so, but Inuyasha was never good at listening to advise, especially his own.

 

“You knew.” Two words. So simple, yet full of so much meaning. Kagome tried not to flinch away at his tone. He had every right to be angry with her, but some how his anger still hurt her deeply. It was like two years ago, when he'd decided to go to hell with Kikyou, all over again. Kagome had the strong desire to run to the well and just escape all her problems here like she used too when she was younger. As if reading her thoughts Inuyasha griped her hand tighter in warning.

 

`Strange,' she thought, `I hadn't noticed that he was still holding my hand.'

 

“I want to know everything, Kagome. And this time I don't want you to leave out anything.” Inuyasha's voice was calm but Kagome wasn't fooled. All thought of why he was still holding her hand flew away as she tried to take a deep breath. Her chest remained tight despite her best efforts to loosen the invisible bands that griped her.

 

`I can't do this. I can't face his anger. Gods, I know I deserve his anger but I just can't…it's too much.' The bands around her chest seemed to spread farther up to seize her throat making her breath come out in short gasps.

 

Inuyasha could feel the panic that was threatening to overwhelm her and his heart constricted. He hated it when Kagome was upset, but this was not the time to shelter her from the world, no matter how much he wanted to pull her close and tell her to just forget about everything.

 

`What am I thinking? I want to know what's going on! I'm tired of Kagome dodging this subject. It's got to be this fucking spell trying that's making me soft!' But even in his confused state Inuyasha realized that the only way Kagome was going to be able to tell him what he wanted to know was if she calmed down. And the only way she was going to calm down was if wasn't afraid that he'd get mad and yell. And the only way he wouldn't get mad and yell was if he was calm. Inuyasha reached up to rub at the spot between his eyes that was starting to ache. It was really all just a vicious cycle of confused emotions, where he and Kagome were concerned. They just couldn't seem to get it right.

 

Inuyasha shifted, bringing his body closer to the distraught girl. Gently he took hold of her chin and lifted her eyes to his, even though he knew she couldn't see him through her milky grey orbs. It was more of a symbolic gesture, because he wanted her to know he was looking her in the eye, that he was being honest.

 

“I need you to tell me what she said to you, Kagome. I promise that I won't get mad at you and yell.” He paused. “If you tell me the whole truth.” He made soothing circles on the back of her hand absently, trying to comfort her with his touch as well as his words. Kagome visibly relaxed and after a moment her breathing had returned to almost normal. The others, who hadn't spoken since Kagome's outburst, now shifted nervously at just what their friend would reveal.

 

“I don't really know where to start…” Kagome trailed off, still reluctant to share her weighty secret.

 

“Why don't you start with the beginning of the conversation, child? We do not need to hear the story of your capture again.” Kaede suggested.

 

“Okay, I-I guess that's a pretty good place to start. Umm, well the first thing she said to me when I woke up was that I had caused her a lot of trouble recently. She then wanted to know if I ever missed the piece of my soul that she possessed.” Kagome was careful to edit the next part where Kikyou's touch had caused her so much pain. She knew she couldn't take it out entirely because Inuyasha would know she was lying, so she glossed over it a bit. “I was confused at first about what that had to do with anything…but she…helped…me understand. Kikyou told me that the bond between Inuyasha and I w-w-was killing her. She said that Inuyasha's soul was filling in the gap in mine and that it was corrupting our pure soul. If…the gap in my soul ceases to…exist…then the piece she has will have no place in this world, it will disappear forever. She said it, the spell, must be reversed before it was too late.” Kagome fell quiet as the others digested her words. Inuyasha was the first to speak.

 

“I'm corrupting your soul?” His voice was strained. Kagome squeezed his hand and nodded.

 

“Apparently, you're changing our soul into something that it was never meant to be. I…I don't agree with her. I know that you'd never do something that would hurt me.” She was trying to reassure the hanyou, but her words sounded more like she was trying to convince herself.

 

“Did my sister indicate that the spell could be reversed?” Kaede asked carefully. Kagome frowned thoughtfully.

 

“Not really…just that it had to be done. Maybe…maybe if I hadn't waited so long to tell you it would be different.” Oh how she wished she could see Inuyasha's face! It was next to impossible to read his emotions when she couldn't see into his eyes, and his silence after his first question was beginning to unsettle her.

 

“Inuyasha, I—“Kagome started.

 

“I need to go think.” Inuyasha announced and stood up. He started to move away but stopped. With quick fingers he tugged off the tiny strip of green that allowed Kagome the use of his sight and then he knelt down beside her. Softly he pressed the cloth into her palm and folded her fingers over it.

 

“Hold on to this for me, okay? I promise that I'll be back soon and that I want go very far in case you need me. But I just need time—“

 

“I understand. Just please, don't hate me.” Kagome whispered as the first tear made its way down her cheek. Inuyasha jerked back a bit in surprise at her words.

 

“I could never hate you Kagome! Where did you get a stupid idea like that?” The thought of hating this small girl in front of him nearly broke his heart. Kagome turned her face away from him and didn't answer. Inuyasha swore under his breath and reached out again to bring her sightless eyes back to face him.

 

“I told you not to leave anything out.”

 

“I told you all of the important things. Just let it go Inuyasha.” Kagome's voice was dull and Inuyasha swore again at not being able to feel her emotions anymore.

 

“Did she tell you that I would hate you?” He demanded. Kagome refused to open her mouth to answer him. Inuyasha was getting ready to say something else when Sango stepped in.

 

“Inuyasha, can't you see that she's told us enough? Go do you're thinking and leave Kagome-chan alone for the time being okay?” She put an arm around her friend and pulled her away from Inuyasha. He straightened up and glared toward the exterminator.

 

“Keh, I'll go, but don't think this is fucking over. When I get back we're going to have that long talk I've been threatening you with. And mark my word little girl, this time you will tell me everything even if it takes all damn night!” With that he stalked off toward the forest on the other side of the village, in the general direction of the God Tree.

 

Kagome listened to his footsteps as they grew fainter and fainter in the distance.

 

“What have I done?”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The stars in the sky above him gleamed weakly, as if they too were in a state of utter confusion. He felt something sharp poke into his back, and for what seemed like the millionth time since he'd settled himself of the roof to think, he had to pull a wayward piece of straw from where it had impaled his flesh.

 

“Fucking stupid thatch roof! You'd think this bloody fucking fire rat fur would keep these damn stupid things from digging into me!” To say he was in a bad mood would be like saying Naraku was only a little evil or that Miroku wasn't the most perverted monk in all of feudal Japan.

 

Inuyasha sighed and shifted again. He had started his “thinking” session in the God Tree, far away from the annoying distractions that always followed him around, but the insistent, nagging feeling in his chest that told him he was too far away from Kagome refused to let him think on anything else but her. So, in order to get some peace he had come back to do his thinking on the roof. Problem solved, right? Well, yes, but now he had a new problem. How was he supposed to contemplate the second death of a girl he was supposed to love while the girl he was semi-mated to was right below him? It was a next to impossible situation for him because his instincts were kicking in, telling him to forget all about some undead girl when one perfectly capable of bearing pups was as good as his, while his human side was trying to franticly fight back and insist that Kikyou must be saved!

 

`It's not supposed to be this fucking hard! I'm just a simple hanyou for Kami-sama sake. I'm strong and I can fight to protect those that I care about…but that's all I'm good for. I was never meant to have to make this decision!

 

So protect the one you love. That's pretty simple.

 

But it's not! How do I choose? I had a hard enough time choosing between those two before this…and now…I just don't know.

 

Do you still want to go to the afterlife with Kikyou?

 

Hell no!...I mean….

 

Well, there's your answer, you don't love her.

 

You've got to be crazy! It can't be that simple…

 

So you want to be unbound from Kagome?

 

HELL NO!!

 

Then that settles it. You want to be with Kagome and not Kikyou.

 

You're crazy!

 

Hey, I'm not the one talking to myself.' Inuyasha shook his head as if to clear it. He couldn't believe that he'd just spent the last 30 minutes arguing with the voices in his head.

 

“Those bitches are driving me crazy!” He mumbled to himself. No closer to an answer than he was half an hour ago, he let his mind wander. Inuyasha found himself thinking of the first time he met Kagome and the events that led up to the jewel being shattered. He smiled a bit as he reached down to finger his hated “collar”.

 

`Funny, when Kaede first put these stupid things on me she said that Kagome's word had the power to hold my soul…how ironic that she now “owns” a little bit of my soul.

That's the only thing that I'm sure of right now. Kagome belongs to me now…and I guess that means that I belong to her. But there's still Kikyou…. Kagome needs me…but then so does Kikyou…and I've let both of them down so much…and I promised to protect both of them ' Inuyasha sat in quiet contemplation for a moment. From below him he could hear the sounds of his friends preparing for bed. He smirked at the loud echoing sound of flesh against flesh met his ears.

 

`Miroku must have tried to climb into Sango's futon with her, and by the sound of it she once again sent him packing.'

 

[“Kagome! Tell me a story before I have to go to sleep, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasse?!?!]

 

Inuyasha cringed at the whine in the little kitsune's voice. How Kagome stood it all day was beyond his comprehension.

 

[“Of course Shippou-chan, now get under the covers. Oh and here's your drink of water. Drink as much of it as you want now before the story, because afterwards you're going to go to sleep with an excuse, ok?”]

 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes at her firm tone. Shippou had Kagome wrapped around his little finger and everyone knew it…except Kagome of course.

 

[“Okay, Kagome-chan. I promise I'll go right to sleep after you tell me my story.”]

 

From the roof Inuyasha snorted and rolled over onto his side. He pillowed his head into his up raised palm and waited to hear what kind of story Kagome would come up with.

 

[“Okay, if you're sure, Shippou-chan then I'll begin. Once up on a time—“

 

“What does that mean? And why do you always say it before a story?”

 

“Because that's how all stories start. It means that the story happened a long time ago.”

 

“Oh, okay.”

 

“As I was saying—Once upon a time there was a little girl----“

 

“Why is it always a little girl in every story? I'd like to hear one about a little boy `cause I don't like girls!”

 

“Okay, Once upon a time there was a little boy and he was taking some food to his sick grandmother.”]

 

Inuyasha could tell that Kagome was beginning to lose her patients with the kit and he had to hold in his laughter. Maybe next time he wanted to bop the brat she wouldn't stop him.

 

[“Why was the grandma sick?”

 

*Sigh* “ She had the flu.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“So this little boy was taking his grandma some miso soup---“

 

“But if she had a flu wouldn't that make her tummy hurt?”

 

“No because it was the kind of flu that makes your nose run.”

 

“Oh, then miso soup would be good!”

 

“The little boy traveled a long time to get to his grandmothers house and it was getting late. Now the little boy came to a fork in the path and he was confused at which path to take. Should he take the Path of Pins, or the Path of Needles? He knew that they both lead to his grandmother house, but he needed to get there fast and he didn't know which one was shortest. While he was thinking about it a hungry wolf happened to walk by. He saw the little boy, and smelled the miso soup and decided to see if the boy would be kind enough to give him a taste of it.

 

`Little boy,' he said in his most charming voice, `Will you give me a taste of that wonderful smelling soup?'

 

The little boy looked over at the wolf and quickly decided to trick the wolf into telling him what he needed to know. He'd tell the wolf that he'd give him some soup if he told him the quickest route and when the wolf told him what he needed to know he'd run as fast as he could to his grandmother and keep all the soup for her.

 

But the wolf is a crafty creature and he figured out the trick the boy was trying to pull---“

 

“How did he know that the little boy was lying?”]

 

Inuyasha had been wondering that himself. He'd also been wondering just how long it would be before kit asked another question, and by the sleepy sound of his voice he could tell that it wouldn't be long before Shippou was asleep.

 

[“He just did Shippou.”

 

“I bet he could smell it `cause if the wolf could talk that means he must have been a youkai and if he was a youkai that means that he could smell stuff like that.”

 

“You're probably right; anyway the wolf knew what the little boy was trying to do so he decided to turn the trick around on the boy.

 

`Take the Path of Pins little one,' he said in his most truthful voice, `It's the shortest way to your grandmother's house.' But this was, of course, a lie. The Path of Pins was a long and scary road, very dangerous for a young boy to take while the Path of Needles was short and lead right up to grandmother's doorstep. The little boy didn't even wait to thank the wolf for his kindness before he ran off down the path. The wolf just smirked and took the Path of Needles to wait for the boy at his grandmother's door.]

 

Kagome paused in the story and Inuyasha could hear the rustle of fabric. Since she didn't continue on with the story he figured that Shippou must have fallen asleep, but he could easily imagine how the story ended.

 

[“I wonder what path Inuyasha will choose. That Path of Pins or Needles?”]

 

Her question was spoken so softly that he almost missed it. Inuyasha rolled back over so that he could watch the stars again. They weren't shining any brighter, still as muddled and confused as he was.

 

`The Path of Pins or the Path of Needles…why do I feel like no matter which I choose I'm still going to get eaten by the hungry wolf in the end?'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Kagome sighed. It was a long heartfelt sigh, the kind that comes all the way from your toes and carries all your sadness, frustration, and confusion with it. She has been awake for hours and Inuyasha still wasn't back from where ever he'd gone yesterday. Her stomach tied into knots just thinking about yesterday. She heaved another sigh before deciding that there was no use thinking about it now.

 

Kagome stood up and tenitivly reached out to find the hut wall. She was getting better at navigation through Kaede's home without her sight, but she was always half-afraid that someone would move something and not tell her about it. With shuffling feet she made her way toward where she thought the door was…only the growl with frustration when her hand met yet another wall.

 

“Stupid Inuyasha! Where are you when I need you?” She murmured aloud, and then felt bad because of it. Inuyasha tried his hardest to be there for her when she was really in trouble, and he felt really guilty about it when he couldn't protect her.

 

“Okay, that damn door has to be around here some where.” She reasoned with herself as she kept on following the wall. After going a little way, Kagome could feel a slight breeze on her face. She smiled to herself. AH-HA! She couldn't tell yet if she'd found a door or a window, but either way it was an opening to the outside world!

 

With questing fingers she traced the rough wood around the source of the wind. Okay, this was the window. That meant that the door was in the opposite direction. With a wide smile Kagome turned away from the window, but stopped when she heard her name. Out of curiosity she edged back toward the window. It sounded like Kaede and Miroku were talking about her. She justified eavesdropping on them by telling herself that they might know where Inuyasha had taken himself.

 

[“So you're positive that there's nothing you can do to reverse this spell?”]

 

Miroku's voice sounded tired. Kagome remembered that he and Kaede had gone to the temple this morning to meditate on their problem. Obviously it had taken a lot out of them.

 

[“I have not the power for this. It took all I have to just perform the spell in the first casting. Now that their souls have warped the spell it is out of my hands.”]

 

Kagome felt tears well up in her eyes. So it was true. There was no way to fix this. Inuyasha might not hate her now but he would when he heard that all hope was gone. That was if he ever came back.

 

[“What about Kagome-chan? You've said on several occasions that she has power to rival that of Kikyou's. Couldn't she undo this spell?”]

 

Kagome's hand went to her mouth and she unconsciously leaned in closer to hear what they had to say.

 

[“She has no training for such a spell. The girl just had her first power flux a few weeks ago and it blinded her. That much power, even if she could focus it…”

 

“But with training?

 

“In a few years, with the proper training, she might have the focus to do such a huge task. But right now she is virtually untrained.”

 

“But I thought that a miko's magic came naturally. I was under the impression that unlike other magic-users, mikos don't have to learn their spells before hand because of their connection with nature.

 

“You are right, Miroku-sama. But a miko must learn tremendous focus before they can do even the smallest spell-casting. Even with all her power, Kagome-chan has no focus unless she feels threatened. I have begun to wonder if she will ever be able to find her focus. ]

 

Kagome felt all her newly born hopes die in her chest. Kaede thought she was powerful, but her teacher doubted her ability to ever use her miko strength. The half formed lump in her throat hardened, blocking her ability to pull oxygen into her lungs. Kaede had all but given up on her. The one person who encouraged her to never give up on her miko heritage didn't even think she was capable! Kagome waited for overwhelming sadness or feelings of betray to drown her, but neither of those emotions came. Instead she got angry. They thought she couldn't do it? Well, she'd show them just what she was capable of. With determination she let go of the wall she'd been grasping to for dear life and swallowed the lump in her throat. With steady steps she made her way toward the doorway. Once outside she took a moment to get her bearings. The path toward the forest was to the right. It she was careful she would be able to avoid the rice fields with little problem.

 

Reaching into her pocket she found the tie that Inuyasha had pressed into her hand yesterday before he disappeared. If her instincts where right, this was all she'd need to undo the spell her self.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Inuyasha dipped his toe into the edge of the warm spring water and swirled it around thoughtfully. After his night on the hut roof, where he'd spent all his time listening to Kagome's breathing, he finally decided to spend some time at the natural springs not far from the village. Inuyasha figured that if anything happened he'd be a lot closer to the village here than at the God Tree.

 

With a sigh he lay back on his back to watch the clouds. He was a bit frustrated because all his night-and-next-day thinking session had accomplished was to give him a whopping headache. He was no closer to the truth than he had ever been.

 

`Maybe that's the point. Maybe I'm not getting any closer to the point because I've already arrived at the answer? Okay, I know I don't want to be unbound from Kagome. I don't know if it's this fucking spell, or something else, but the very thought makes me sick inside. And I know that I don't want Kikyou to die, but I figure that we've all been in tighter spots than the prospect of slow painful death…right? I'm sure there's a way to save both girls, I just have to find it!

 

“Now all I have to do is find Kagome and tell her all of this…” His voice drifted off at the thought of facing her after he'd been gone so long. He was sure his back would brake from all the `sit's' she'd inflict on him.

 

“I hate that damn word. If I never hear it again in my life it'll be too soon.” He mumbled to himself as he fingered the rosary around his neck. Then he remembered that last time she'd sat him.

 

`It didn't work right…Instead of my body leaving an Inuyasha-shaped crater in the ground it was only liked I'd tripped over something, and I was able to get up much quicker. Hmm…maybe I don't hate this whole situation as much as I thought I did.'

 

The sudden sound of running footsteps drew him out of his thoughts. He sniffed the air questioningly to figure out who it was coming toward him at such break-neck speed.

 

“Shippou?” Inuyasha was confused at the fear he could smell coming from the child. Shippou never got this worried and afraid unless…

 

“INUYASHA!” The little kit wailed when he caught sight of the older male. He launched himself into Inuyasha's chest and held on with a death grip.

 

“Shippou, calm down, tell me what's happened.” He tried his best to speak calmly to the child but his voice still came out in a growl.

 

“It's Kagome…we can't find her anywhere!”

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* (AN: I thought of just ending the chapter there…but I'm not that evil…or so I'd like you all to think…)

 

 

 

“Okay, Kagome now where was that rock? It has to be around here somewhere…I mean big rocks just don't get up and walk away do they? I guess if they were youkai rocks they could…but are there youkai rocks? I mean I know there are tree youkai, so there could possibly be rock youkai…” She knew she was babbling to herself but that was the only way she knew to keep the fear that was threatening to bubble up inside of her pressed down.

 

At the moment she was deep in the forest, going in the opposite way of the well and the God tree on purpose. Kagome realized that once they found her gone those would be the first places they'd look for her. The problem with going this way was that she'd only been in this side of the forest once while hunting for herbs with Kaede so she wasn't really sure of the landscape. Thank Kami-sama that she remembered what Kaede had taught her about reading auras or she'd really be in trouble. Using her newly found power, Kagome was able to “see” where she was going by sensing the life energy of everything around her. She was also concentrating on covering up her scent so that Inuyasha wouldn't be able to find her so quickly.

 

“HA! I'll show you not being able to focus! I know I can use my miko powers no matter what you think!” She told the imaginary Kaede in her head. Around her the auras she was `seeing' faded and she stumbled over a large tree root.

 

“Err…Focus, Kagome! Focus or she'll be right!” Kagome stopped for a minute to catch her breath and to re-center herself. She shut her sightless eyes and concentrated on taking deep even breaths. With effort she cleared her mind of every thought but seeing the life energy of the nature around her. When she opened her eyes again the auras were shining brighter to her senses than they had previously. Up ahead she could see a large grayish-purple blob that she'd come to associate with stone.

 

“Finally.” She mumbled as she made her way over toward it carefully. When she got to the large slab she ran her hand over its weather-smoothed surface. “Perfect.”

 

With fumbling hands she searched around the base of the rock for pebbles and small stones to use in her spell. Kaede had been right about spells coming natural to you when you focused, because Kagome was flying on auto-pilot at this point. When she'd found the right number, Kagome hoisted herself up onto the stone slab and felt around to her collected pebbles.

 

With these smaller stones she formed two circles: one around herself and a smaller one in front of her. Next, she fished the strip of cloth that Inuyasha had given her to hold for him out of her pocket and placed it gently in the middle of the second stone circle. Her tie to him soon followed the first.

 

“Okay, so far so good. Now what's next?” Kagome could feel her strength begin to wane so she reluctantly let go of her concentration on the auras and she stopped trying to mask her scent.

 

“I can do this. I've come this far, now there's no turning back. I'm doing this so that Inuyasha doesn't have to make such a horrible choice between Kikyou and me.” She reassured herself. But a tiny voice in the back of her head protested.

 

`You're only doing this so that he doesn't have the chance to choose. Face it; you'd fall apart if he choose Kikyou over you.'

 

“No. I am not going to listen to this. I'm doing this because I love him and I can't stand to see him in pain.” With a determined shake of her head Kagome forced her mind back onto the spell at hand. This time the next step in the spell easily came to her. With a slight hand movement she created a barrier around herself that used the larger circle of rocks as a point of origin. She raised the pink walls up until they met above her, forming a softly glowing, incandescing bubble. She waited for a moment until the barrier was stabilized before she let out the breath she'd been holding.

 

“Now comes the hard part.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Inuyasha arrived back at Kaede's hut in record time with Shippou clinging to his back. He stretched his senses out, hoping that the little kit had been wrong about Kagome being gone. He tried to convince himself that Shippou was just overreacting, that Kagome would meet him at the door and smile, maybe even laugh at how frantic he was. But he knew that this was just wishful thinking, something in the air, a certain echoing emptiness in the back of his mind told him that she wasn't here anymore.

 

“Where is she?” He asked the monk and the miko who should have been keeping the young woman safe. Kaede looked up at him impassively, her worry well hidden behind her eyes. Miroku couldn't quite meet his friend's gaze. He wanted to avoid looking into the emotional whirlpool he knew he would find there.

 

“We think she might have over heard us…discussing the spell…after we arrived home from the temple. She could have left anytime after that. We only discovered Kagome-san gone after Sango-can and Shippou-chan came back from hunting berries…”

 

Inuyasha impatiently waved his hand in the air to interrupt the flow of Miroku's words. He didn't care about berries or conversations…he was only interested in finding Kagome.

 

“No more than a few hours.” Miroku answered in a subdued voice. Sango noticed the white-knuckled grip he had on his staff, but she didn't comment on it. She was curious about what Kagome might have overheard, but yet again she kept silent, not sure if the information would help or hinder their present situation.

 

“Fucking hell! Hours?!? She's blind and she's been out there lost for hours?” Inuyasha wanted to tear something apart. Kagome hated the dark and now she was wandering around somewhere all alone. She was vulnerable to any rogue youkai she might come across.

 

“There's something you need to know Inuyasha. Kagome might have over heard something of our conversation about the spell this morning, and if she did over hear what was said she's probably going to try to reverse this thing herself.” Kaede spoke for the first time. Inuyasha swore under his breath and stalked over to stand above the elder woman threatingly.

 

“Just how sure are you about this, baba?” His voice had gone quiet, and his growl had settled deep in his throat. Inuyasha was acting just like a youkai male whose mate was in trouble, and if the situation hadn't been so desperate Kaede might have smiled at his actions.

 

Kaede never had the chance to answer Inuyasha's question, for suddenly he pitched forward onto the ground with a muffled curse and a wince of pain. He struggled feebly, as if all his strength was being ripped from his body. Kaede was shocked to see that that wasn't far from the truth. With her miko sight she could see a long red cord that seemed to disappear into the withering hanyou's chest. She recognized the cord for what it was, the soul tie she'd used to bind Kagome and Inuyasha together all those weeks ago. Something on the other end of the cord must have given it a hard tug because to her horror Inuyasha's soul was pulled up half-way out of his body. She and Miroku moved at the same time to try and anchor it with magic, but Inuyasha was faster. He reached up, and although it should have been impossible, he caught hold of his own soul and pulled it back down into his body.

 

Everyone stood still for a long moment, almost afraid to breath, as the waited for something else to happen. Nothing did. Inuyasha regained enough of his strength to sit up, his breath coming out in short rasps and his eyes clenched shut.

 

“Would someone mind telling me what just happened to me?” He didn't bother opening his eyes to shoot any of them a glare. He figured they were smart enough to hear it in his voice.

 

“She has begun.” Kaede's simple explanation had an eerie edge to it that didn't comfort any of them.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Somewhere off in the distance Kagome almost fell off the rock she was perched on, the red cord in her hand being yanked from her grasp. She caught her breath and held it until the pain of her experiment subsided. Okay, so trying to just pull the thread out wasn't going to work. She frowned, realizing that she only had one other option left to undo the spell.

 

Taking another deep breath she focused hard on the unpleasant task at hand. Inside, one by one, the locks that held her soul inside her body were unclasped and after a few short moments she could feel the strange sensation of floating freely above her own body. Opening her eyes a crack she had to fight down panic at the sight of her body lying limp below her.

 

`I don't have time for this now. I have to work fast before Inuyasha finds me.' With steady hands she found the red cord again. With detached fascination Kagome stared down at the intricate stitchery that attached the cord to herself. Somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered that a red cord was significant of something but it was only a vague thought that floated under the surface of her mind.

 

`I can't un-stitch it…but maybe if I cut the cord…no. That would kill us both. I have to find the part of the spell that's been changed. I can change it back without damaging the thread I'm sure.'

 

With searching fingers she felt around for…well she wasn't really sure what she was looking for…but she was sure she'd know when she felt the discrepancies in the pattern. Sweat beaded on her forehead and trickled down her face and into her ears, but Kagome didn't feel it as she was out of her body. What she was doing now was very delicate. One mistake could send both Inuyasha and herself into a coma.

 

There, she'd found the place where the pattern deviated from its normal loops and knots and turned into a tighter weave of whirls and other complex designs. All she had to do now was re-write the pattern. Kagome paused to gather up her failing strength before continuing on with her work. The stress of using so much raw power in her virtually un-trained state was beginning to show in the way her soul-light flickered unsteadily.

 

Kagome realized that if she waited much longer, she wouldn't have the strength to finish the spell, but if she made a mistake in this phase it could very well kill her or Inuyasha, not to mention Kikyou. She also realized that she was dangerously nearing her burn-out point, and if she reached that point she'd never be able to use miko magic again, if the stress of burning out her power didn't kill her out right. So many things could go wrong at this point that Kagome almost regretted trying to do it on her own. Almost.

 

She pushed her thoughts away and tried to focus on the task at hand, but her thought process was much slower now. With trembling fingers she began her finally task of rearranging the threads into a pattern that resembled Kaede's earlier. Suddenly a noise from behind her made her completely drop her waning focus and with it the delicate threads she'd been manipulating.

 

“KAGOME!”

 

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Inuyasha could feel something in his soul being rearranged, and the tugging and pulling was a very unpleasant feeling although it wasn't exactly a painful feeling. He exhaled in relief when he finally picked up Kagome's smell.

 

“I have her trail.” He told his companions, who were traveling astride Kirara not too far away from him. He would have laughed at the sight of Kaede's clinging perch on the were-cat's back if their situation hadn't been so grave.

 

“Hurry ahead of us Inuyasha, but don't let anything you see shock you into breaking her focus. I can feel that she's barely holding on to what strength she has left.” But Kaede's warning fell of deaf ears, because Inuyasha was already gone.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

When Inuyasha came upon the rock that Kagome had picked at her makeshift altar the sight of her soul hovering above her body so shocked him that he called out to her. Souls weren't supposed to float free of the bodies they belonged to, his mind franticly shouted at him. Kagome's soul was supposed to be nestled deeply inside her, not out for any soul stealer to pick up. He didn't notice the pink bubble-shield that surrounded her until he crashed into it with a loud thud. Quickly he picked himself up and desperately called out her name.

 

“KAGOME!”

 

In slow motion he saw her drop the threads she'd been holding so delicately in her hands. Somewhere in the back of him mind he registered the look of shocked pain that flowed across her features in those moments before all went black and he was floating on a black sea of nothingness.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

A few minutes later the others flew onto the scene. Kaede whispered a prayer to her ancestors while Miroku sent up a half-formed one to Buddha. There in the clearing lay Inuyasha, his hand outstretched toward Kagome, as if in his final moments of conciseness he'd still been trying desperately to reach her. As for Kagome, she slumped, half-on half-off, of a huge gray boulder. Kaede took in the scorch marks that ringed the top of the rock, and the slightly singed pieces of red and green cloth lying discarded in the middle of a haphazard circle of stones and she knew what Kagome had been trying to do just as clearly as if she'd been there herself.

 

“What has she done?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

TBC

 

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