InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Thoughtful Misconceptions ❯ The Coffee Break ( Chapter 16 )

The Coffee Break

 

Kagura sat in her car. Her clock said 12:17 but she couldn't bring herself to get out of her car. She been sitting there for about 10 minutes but with every passing minute, her determination to meet Mika was chiseled.

 

Her cell phone rang; she clicked the talk button knowing it was just another excuse not to go into the café. “Hello.”

 

“Hello, beautiful.”

 

She smiled, resting her forehead on the steering wheel. “Hi, Sesshoumaru.”

 

“Kagura, get out of your car and go in there.” Sesshoumaru said suddenly.

 

Kagura looked around, “Where are you?”

 

“At home, sitting on my couch.” He sighed, “I'm not watching you. I just know that you have yet to get up and go in there.”

 

“Shut up, Sesshoumaru.” She spat out. “Don't think you understand me.”

 

Silence answered her and Sesshoumaru sighed again, “Kagura, it was you who made this decision. Now get some balls and go in there.”

 

Kagura bit back on her temper, “K, point made. I'm going, I'm going.” She said, clicking her phone off without saying goodbye.

 

Letting her forehead fall against the steering wheel, she let out a long, suffering sigh.

`I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. Oh God, I don't want to do it.'

 

Kagura finally got out of her car and walked in to the café, hearing a small ding as the door closed behind her. She looked around the small room for a face that was all too familiar.

 

She saw Mika sitting proudly at a table in the corner, a large novel in her hands. Kagura frowned. She was reading The Stand by Stephen King and so was Kagura, at least for like the fourth time.

 

Kagura sat in front of her, a mask on her face. Mika bore the same one, meeting her eyes just as defiantly.

 

They stared at each other for about twenty seconds till Kagura frowned. “You wanted me to come listen. So here I am.” She spread her hands in front of her, “So talk.”

 

Mika shook her head, almost smiling, “So defiant. So absolute. So much like me.”

 

Kagura curled her lip, “Don't start comparing us. I'm nothing like you. I live for more than myself.”

 

Mika frowned, “The world isn't just black and white, Kagura. Things are more than a child could understand.”

 

“Mika,” She said coldly, “I am not a child. Don't talk to me like I am. All right?”

 

Mika nodded slowly, “Fine.”

 

And Mika began telling her story and Kagura found herself lost in it.

 

“I was a student at a large art school. I had a scholarship because my parents couldn't pay for an education, well actually, my mom because my dad wasn't around much.” She sighed, “I grew up in a trailer park and we didn't own a car but I could draw.” Mika smiled a little, “I could draw so well and the college recruiters noticed it.” She looked at Kagura. “Can you draw?”

 

Kagura shook her head, “No, I've always been more of a writer.”

 

“I've dabbled in writing myself but it's not my thing.” She took a sip of her coffee; “Anyway, I was at a huge school so I pretty much went unnoticed. I was a quiet girl with a skill with the pen. I lived with my roommate who was also a sweet girl who didn't say much but she was there for singing instead of art.

 

“I had a boyfriend who I spent a lot of time with. He was there for a theatre scholarship.” She smiled, “My best friend.” She stopped suddenly, “Do you have a boyfriend, Kagura?”

 

Kagura watched her for a second, gauging her reactions as she spoke, “Yeah, he's in the musical with me.”

 

“A best friend?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Would they be there for you no matter what?”

 

Kagura nodded, “In a heartbeat.”

 

Mika smiled, “Good.” She stirred her coffee idly, “Anyway, I stayed out of trouble. I came from being poor and I didn't want to go back.” She sighed, “Back to where my father was never around but when he was he tended to beat on my mom. So I stayed away from parties and did all my homework. My boyfriend and I were starting to talk about getting engaged. We were pretty serious.

 

“My junior year of college, I started getting into a lot of drugs. It wasn't one of those things that was just a little pot once in a while, it got really heavy. The stress of school and maintaining my grades was making it hard to cope. So I turned to parties to try to take away the stress instead I got a drug problem.”

 

“Wait, you did drugs while you were pregnant with me?” Kagura asked, hotly.

 

Mika shook her head, “Kagura, stop demonizing me.”

 

“How can I not demonize you?”

 

“Maybe if you listened to me instead of assuming the worst, you'd understand. Damn it, now shut up and listen.” Mika snapped back just as angrily. It almost chilled Kagura how much Mika acted like her. “Do you want me to finish?”

 

Kagura bit her lip sharply, refraining from the smart remarks she wished to make. “Yes.” She said slowly.

 

“My boyfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop with the needles. I knew the risks but I ignored it. I didn't think he was serious until he started packing his stuff.” She frowned, “I thought I could live without the heroine but I knew I couldn't live without him. So I stopped. I just threw it away and stopped.”

 

Her eyes seemed almost misty, reliving her past. “I say it now and it sounds so simple. It wasn't. It was a living hell but I couldn't go into rehab. My fiancé by then would have been embarrassed. So I did it on my own. I cleaned up and continued on in my education. During those months, my creativity was shot but as my system cleaned out so did my inability to draw. So I continued to get attention from my teachers, one in particular.

 

“He would have me come to his freshmen classes and give little lectures all the time. He'd recommend me to people, too. I was getting a big head by this time because he couldn't get enough of my artwork. Now I wonder if he even admired my work at all.” Mika sighed, looking at her coffee now instead of Kagura.

 

“I went to his home a few times to see some of his art and other originals he owned. No big deal. The last time I went over there, he tried to get me to drink with him. I wouldn't do it. I was almost done with my junior year, I wasn't going to screw up again.” She paused, lost in the world of her own thoughts. “Eventually he came on to me. I knew it was coming. I should have left when he got out the wine but I needed all the credentials he could have given me. I didn't want to make him mad and leave early.”

 

She looked sad, “Kagura, I know your impression of me. You've convinced yourself over the years that I was nothing but a slut. You're sure that I don't even know who you're father is. Well, I do. I was a virgin until that night.”

 

Kagura just stared at her, unsure of how to react or what to say. Instead she kept her silence.

 

Mika continued, lost in her past, “I tried to tell him no. I fought the bastard as hard as I could but I think he put something in my drink because I felt really dull and unaware. Or maybe that was just because of what was happening to me. We tend to lose ourselves when we're scared.”

 

Kagura slammed her fist on the table and Mika jumped a little, “Why the hell didn't you go to the cops and put that bastard away?”

 

Mika shook her head, “I was scared that no one would believe me. It was my word, a cute little college girl hoping to make it big against a well-known and well-respected college professor.

 

“I did tell my boyfriend. He didn't believe me. He was convinced that I'd been cheating on him the whole time and the only reason I came clean was because I was pregnant. He broke off the engagement that day.” She shrugged, “After that I kind of lost my will to do anything. I tried to keep up school but it was too hard being sick all the time. I had no one to help me. After he left me, I didn't want to tell a soul. I honestly thought that maybe I wanted to cheat on my boyfriend and I kept thinking I could have fought him harder.”

 

Kagura stared at her. She was starting to think that maybe, just maybe Sesshoumaru had been right.

 

“I eventually gave up on school and went back home. By then, my dad was dead. Finally drank himself to death. My mom was with a new guy but he was just my father over again. It made me sad to see my mom living the exact same way she was when I left her. Maybe if I would've stayed, none of this would have ever happened. They had had a couple of kids and when I came back, my mother's husband decided I was just one too many mouths to feed. My mom, forever being the weak woman she was, told me that I had to leave within the week.

 

“So I left. Lost myself in a poor part of a big city. I tried for weeks to get a job and I finally found one at a fast food restaurant. You were born by then and it just wasn't enough to support both of us. So I started doing the shit I did back in college and a hell of a lot more. I'm ashamed of the person I became but you were starving and there were men willing to pay.” Tears were forming in Mika's eyes but her voice stayed unwavering. “I did that for almost three years, Kagura, and then one day I took you to the park to play. You loved being on the swings so much.

 

“We were there for a few hours when one of my drug “buddies” saw me. He wanted to buy and at the time I stopped supplying. I wanted to clean up. I really did. I just didn't have the will power anymore. He got angry when I told him I didn't have anything. He hit me there. Right out in the public but amazingly no one noticed. It's funny how people are only ever concerned with their own problems. You started crying and that was when he looked at you. I don't know if he was having withdrawal or if he was just a violent person by nature but he stared at you for the longest time without saying anything. Then he turned to me and said that it'd be a shame if something happened to you. I knew a threat when I heard one. I promised to meet him the next day. He left after that.

 

“I took your hand after that and wiped the tears from your eyes. We walked home slowly. I was faced with decisions that no woman should ever have to make. I realize now that I could have done things differently but I was so young and no one had ever taught me any better.” Mika sighed, “It was the hardest decision I ever made. I loved you more than anything. I couldn't make you grow up like I did. I couldn't put you in danger just because I had a problem. So I fed you breakfast the next day, gave you your blanket and teddy bear, and left a note near you.”

 

Mika's voice finally choked, her voice shaking as she fought for control of her emotions. “I left you, Kagura. I hated myself for years because of what I did but I thought it was the right thing to do. On my way out, I used a pay phone and called the landlord to complain about noises coming from the room so he'd go check it and call the police.

 

“I stuck around till I was sure, they had you and put you somewhere safe. Then I just disappeared in the crowds again. It was years before I cleaned up and got a real job. When I did I went and finished college and went back to art. I went back to doing the things I loved but I was missing something. I was having a hard time sleeping with myself at night knowing the sins I committed. I wanted to find you as soon as I started going back to school but they said you had been adopted. Because you weren't eighteen, they wouldn't let me know where you were. So I had to bide my time till I was able to see you again.”

 

She shrugged, “Kagura, I'm not asking you to hear my story, find pity in your heart, and be my daughter again. Because you can't. Because even though I still love you more than anything, I'm not the woman who raised you. I'm not sure what I'm asking you. I just know that I needed you to hear my story and understand at least a little. And I need to know if you still hate me.”

 

Kagura stared at her, still digesting all that she told her. Her coffee had barely been touched. Mika met her eyes just as defiantly as Kagura stared her down. Kagura knew she wasn't lying but it just wasn't that easy. Kagura shook her head, “I need to think.” She stood up to leave.

 

Mika grabbed her arm, “Wait, if you want to talk to me I'm staying at the Holiday Inn over on 9th Street.”

 

Kagura nodded and dropped a few dollars on the table, leaving her behind with her own thoughts. Kagura had her own demons to face now.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Inuyasha sat on his couch, flipping through the channels trying to occupy his time till Kagura came back. He was worried. She could be a mean bitch when she wanted to.

 

A knock sounded at the door, bringing Inuyasha out of his thoughts. He jumped up to answer it, opening to reveal Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha frowned, “What the hell do you want?”

 

Sesshoumaru frowned momentarily, “I came here to wait for Kagura.”

 

Inuyasha laughed, “Uh, hell no.”

 

Sesshoumaru sighed, “Listen. I don't really like you either but I want to be here for Kagura.”

 

Inuyasha shook his head, “Sorry, man, it's not your place.”

 

Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow, “I understand better than you think.” He said coldly.

 

“It's not a matter of you understanding, ass-clown.” Inuyasha said, shrugging. “You've only been in her life a few months. I've been here forever. I'll be with her now.”

 

Sesshoumaru bit back on his temper, “I wanted to just make sure she has someone to talk to.”

 

“Damn it, I told you I've been through all of this with Kagura.” He sighed, “I love bumping heads with you, jackass, but this is for real. I'll tell Kagura you came by and have her call you but not until she's ready.”

 

Sesshoumaru stared him down, knowing Inuyasha had won. “Fine.” With that he left.

 

Inuyasha closed the door, slumping down on the couch and rubbing his eyes. “Kagura will understand.” He said out loud as he turned off the television to take a nap.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Kagura slammed her door shut and shifted into drive in almost one swift move. She decided not to think about it until she said it out loud. All she had to do was get to Inuyasha, tell him what Mika said, throw things and then it would be all right.

 

Everything Mika had said to her made sense. She could almost sympathize. She could almost understand. She could almost not hate her.

 

Kagura shook her head, walking slowly up the stairs to her apartment. She opened the door slowly to see Inuyasha occupying the couch, fast asleep. She sat on the edge of the couch, disturbing the blankets and shaking Inuyasha awake.

 

He popped one eye open, “Want something?”

 

She smacked his leg, "Come on, Yasha. Be serious."

 

He sighed, scooting his legs in so she could occupy the couch as well, "Ok, I'm serious and mostly awake."

 

Kagura sighed, "I can almost understand, Yasha. I can almost believe her." She said quietly, tears forming in her eyes.

 

Inuyasha sighed and wrapped his arm around her, bringing her into his chest, "What did she tell you, Kagura?"

 

Kagura sighed again, "Everything." And she began to tell Inuyasha exactly what Mika had spent the last few hours telling her.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Inuyasha sat in silence, mewling over the information Kagura had just given him. It made sense. Every bit of it but he knew Kagura wasn't just going to let things go. She held so much against her for so long. He sighed, brushing her hair away from her eyes, “Kagura, I'm not sure what to tell you.” He said softly.

 

Kagura frowned, “I want to judge her, Inuyasha. I want to tell her that it's still her fault but, my god, what would I have done in her place?”

 

Inuyasha shrugged, “Maybe something better. Or maybe the same damn thing, Kagura. You'll never know because it never happened to you.”

 

Kagura sat back, chewing on her thumbnail. “I don't know, Yasha. I just don't know. It almost seems like it'd be unfair to still hate her.”

 

Inuyasha shrugged again, “Maybe it would be but that's for you to decide.”

 

“Yeah, I suppose.” She stood up, grabbing her sweatshirt off the chair, “I'm going to go for a walk, k?”

 

Inuyasha nodded, “For how long?”

 

She grimaced, “I'm not sure. I might go see Sesshoumaru. I haven't decided yet.”

 

“You know supportive of you or not, he's still a bastard.”

 

She almost smiled, “I know, Inuyasha, but you're an asshole.”

 

Inuyasha laughed, “Maybe. Just maybe.” He stood up, stretching out. “All right, Kagura, be careful by yourself. Kagome might be over when you get back.”

 

Kagura smiled and nodded, “All right, Yasha.” She started to close the door behind her but had a second thought, “I love you, Yasha.”

 

He looked at her surprised at the sudden exclamation but then he smiled, “I love you, too, Kagura.”

 

She closed the door, tightly and he frowned, “Just be careful.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer:

No, I don't own Inuyasha but I wish I did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note:

So this is my favorite chapter and I hope that everyone enjoys it as much as I do. I think that is the turning point for character development in many of my characters. My hours at work have been raised from 8 hours a week to 20 so it might be a little longer to update.

 

Emjoy……