InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Thoughtful Misconceptions ❯ Off My Chest ( Chapter 17 )

Off My Chest

 

Kagura knocked on the door, waiting impatiently for Sesshoumaru to open it. He lived in an apartment, much like Kagura's but on the other side of the town. She had walked, mewling and thinking, thinking and mewling as she made her way to Sesshoumaru's.

 

She waited for a few more seconds till she finally lost her patience and opened the unlocked door. The lights were turned off but she was sure he was here. His car was parked outside and he never left his door unlocked. Kagura made her way to his bedroom and walked in to see Sesshoumaru asleep on his bed, curtain drawn to block the sunlight.

 

Kagura sat on the edge of the bed, his white hair tousled around his face; she reached down and wiped some of the bangs away. He was so beautiful to her. She never thought a man could be called beautiful.

 

It was odd to her. She always thought Inuyasha was attractive, sometimes even sexy but Sesshoumaru was art in motion. He was tall and strong, muscled but lean and smooth. She wondered as she sat there if he used to be a dancer.

 

She smiled, he moved like a tiger, so strong and lethal. She shook his shoulder gently. His one eye that was visible popped open. “Hey, beautiful.” He said, muffled into the pillow.

 

She smiled, pulling a lock of his hair. “Hey.”

 

He scooted over, making room for Kagura to lay down next to him. She crawled in and he wrapped his arm around her pulling her into his chest. “Something on your mind?”

 

She sighed, “Maybe.” She curled up tighter, “I don't want to talk about it right now.”

 

Sesshoumaru shrugged, which was an odd feat because he was lying on his side. “Ok.”

 

Kagura sat for a while just relishing in Sesshoumaru's warmth. It felt good to have support. It felt good to have something so strong to lean on. He was her rock to hold her up when things got too rough.

 

She smiled and wrapped her legs around his waist as she rolled on top of him. She looked down at him and he smiled up at her, twisting his fingers in her long hair. She kneaded his chest almost like a cat. As she looked at him, she realized how easy it was to fall in love with him.

 

It amazed her and scared her all at once. They'd only been together for a few months. They're first kiss was back in September and since then she'd only grown closer to him, to the point of needing him, to the point of loving him and she hadn't even realized it. She was so caught up in her life with Mika, in her life with Inuyasha that she never realized that Sesshoumaru had made himself a part of her life without her even knowing it.

 

She leaned down and kissed him softly on the mouth. “You make me happy. You know that?”

 

He looked at her oddly, “Where'd that come from?”

 

She shrugged, “I'm not sure. I just wanted you to know that.” She sat back, still straddling his waist. “I talked to Mika today. I listened to her for a few hours and she explained a lot of things to me.” Kagura looked at Sesshoumaru's face. To a stranger, he would look almost emotionless but Kagura knew he was hanging on her every word. “She told me about her life before and how her boyfriend just left her when she had no one left. She explained why she made some of the decisions she made and why she regrets some and not others.”

 

Kagura sighed softly. “I realized that it would be wrong to hate her.”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded the tiniest bit. “Are you going to keep talking to her?”

 

She bit her lip, almost smiling, “Just because I don't hate her, doesn't mean I forgive her.” She grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. “She made me realize how lucky I am to have people who love me.”

 

Sesshoumaru gave her the barest smile as he pulled her into his arms and rolled over on top of her. He looked down at her, his strangely white hair falling around his face and around hers. “Kagura, do you know how amazing you are?”

 

She laughed, tentatively reaching up to touch his face. “I might have an idea.”

 

His eyes shone with a happiness that Kagura had never seen before. A happiness that she was starting to see in her own eyes. He leaned down into a deep kiss taking away any sense of coherent thought.

 

Something about him, about their relationship was on such an emotional level that neither had moved on from what they had. Kagura couldn't even begin to understand the connection she felt with Sesshoumaru in such a little amount of time. It was so perfect. So perfect that she was afraid of messing something up or something going wrong.

 

She pulled away from him, his yellow eyes still bright. “Come on, I want to go somewhere.”

 

Sesshoumaru smiled a little, “It's already evening, Kagura. Don't want to just go get a movie and be lazy. This is our last weekend off.”

 

Kagura started to say something smart but she stopped. She hadn't even realized that the plays performance was next weekend. She sighed, “I can't believe it's almost over.”

 

Sesshoumaru yawned. “Our performance should have been two or three weeks ago but because of construction on the theatre, they extended our rehearsals.”

 

“You know I might actually miss some of those people.” Kagura said chewing her lip.

 

“Oh no, Kagura might like people.” Sesshoumaru said, teasing her. “Like who?”

 

“Like Kagome and…um…yeah, that's about it.” Kagura said bluntly.

 

Sesshoumaru chuckled. “Somehow that just doesn't surprise me.” He stretched, sitting up and straightening out his pillow. He scratched his head, mussing up his hair. “Let me take a quick shower and we'll go out to dinner.”

 

Kagura smiled. “Where to?”

 

Sesshoumaru rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Well, it is our last weekend before the show so we'll do something nice.” He smiled. “Maybe even expensive.”

 

“I'm wearing sweatpants. I can't go to a nice restaurant.”

 

He stood up, pulling some clothes out of his closet. “I think they're sexy.”

 

Kagura looked at him threateningly, “Sesshy.”

 

He smiled. “We'll swing by your house so you can change.”

 

“Good.”

 

Sesshoumaru walked into the bathroom leaving Kagura to entertain herself. She walked into the living room and flipped on the TV but her attention was not on the news. The shock of what Mika told her was still with her.

 

This woman, who she spent more than half her life hating, was just a woman. Not a demon. Not a heartless villain. Just a woman who's life worked against her and she did everything she could not to fall apart. She went into survival mode and Kagura could almost comprehend her tragedies.

 

Mika's grief and remorse were almost tangible because they were so real. No person, man or woman could fake the emotions that were deep in her eyes. Kagura sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest. Now how did Kagura move on?

 

She heard the shower turn off and Sesshoumaru walked into the living room a few minutes later, combing out his hair. He was wearing black dress pants and a somewhat snug fitting pin stripe shirt. It was very attractive.

 

Kagura looked at him suspiciously, “How expensive are we eating, Sesshoumaru?”

 

Sesshoumaru shrugged, “I was planning on taking you out for your birthday but I thought it'd be nice to go out tonight.”

 

“Very well.” Kagura said, sighing, taking Sesshoumaru's hand and letting him lead her outside.

 

He looked around. “Where's the Mustang?”

 

“I walked.”

 

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened momentarily. “Across town?”

 

Kagura shrugged. “When I think, I walk.”

 

“Across town?”

 

“I had a lot to think about.”

 

“Across town?”

 

Kagura laughed. “Leave me alone. Unlike you, I like exercise.”

 

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. “I exercise.” He shifted his car into drive. “I used to be a dancer.”

 

Kagura coughed. “I knew it. Oh man, I called that one.” She said trying not to laugh.

 

Sesshoumaru looked at her distastefully. “How is that funny?”

 

Kagura coughed, covering a giggle. “It's not.”

 

Sesshoumaru frowned. “I did jazz, swing, and ballet for five or six years.” He looked at her dryly, “Can you do anything?”

 

Kagura laughed, “No, Sesshoumaru, I can't. I guess you're the better artist.”

 

Sesshoumaru shook his head as they pulled up into the parking lot of her and Inuyasha's apartment. “Kagura.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Kagura just grinned. Sesshoumaru had really been spending too much time with her. He grabbed her hand as they walked. She opened the door and heard the sound of dishes. She grasped her hands to her chest, faking a heart attack, “Oh my God, is Inuyasha doing the dishes?”

 

A giggle answered her. “No, Inuyasha isn't doing the dishes.” Kagome's voice rang out to her.

 

Kagura smiled at Sesshoumaru as she kissed him on the cheek. “I'm going to go change.” She walked to the kitchen area. “Hi, Kagome.”

 

Kagome smiled brightly. “Hi, Kagura. How are you doing?”

 

Kagura shrugged. “I'm doing.”

 

Kagome noticed Sesshoumaru. “Hey, Sesshy.”

 

His eye twitched a little. “Kagome, you know I don't like it when you or anyone calls me that.”

 

Kagome giggled. “I know. I'm sorry.” She dried off the pans she had just washed. “You guys going to stay for dinner? Miroku and Sango are coming over in like a half hour for dinner and a movie.”

 

Kagura shook her head. “No, hon, we're going out.”

 

Kagome nodded. “Next time then.”

 

Kagura nodded as she walked out of the room. She walked past Inuyasha on his way out the bathroom. He grabbed her as she walked by and hugged her. “Hey, babe.”

 

She smiled, hugging him back. “Come with me. I have to pick out a dress.”

 

Inuyasha followed her to her bedroom. “You know you treat me like I'm another girlfriend.”

 

Kagura looked at him innocently. “No, I don't.”

 

“Yes, you do.”

 

“Nope. I'm not nice to girls.”

 

“You're nice to Sango and Kagome.”

 

Kagura shrugged as she rifled through her closet. “Sango's not most girls and Kagome's just too damn nice to be mean to.”

 

Inuyasha laughed. “That's true.”

 

Kagura held out two dresses, one black and the other red. “Which one?”

 

Inuyasha paused. “Where are you going?”

 

Kagura hesitated. “Out to dinner.”

 

“With?”

 

“Um…”

 

Inuyasha growled. “Kagura.”

 

“Sesshoumaru is taking me out.”

 

“Kagura, you know that guy's a bas…”

 

“Yes, Inuyasha, I know.” Kagura snapped, stomping her foot. “Now which dress?” She demanded, holding them out again.

 

Inuyasha glared at her for a second then sighed in defeat. “Fine. The black one.”

 

Kagura studied it again. “All right. Close your eyes.”

 

“I don't know why you're suddenly modest.” He said, annoyed, sitting back on the bed resting his hands behind his head. “It's not like I haven't seen it.”

 

“Inuyasha, that's not the point.” Kagura said, sighing. “It's just not appropriate. You know?”

 

Inuyasha scratched his chest, thinking. “You've changed, Kagura.”

 

“I haven't changed.” Kagura said defensively, tying the strap to her dress.

 

“Can I look?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Inuyasha sat up, sitting Indian style. “It's happened slowly but I didn't really notice till tonight.” He chewed his thumbnail for a second, thinking it over. “For the last couple of weeks, you've just seemed more content and less quick to lose your temper. You haven't cussed me out in like three weeks and like today, I thought you were going to come home, breaking everything on the way. Instead you were totally calm and adult about it.”

 

“I just wasn't as angry with Mika as I thought I would be. I spent so many years and so much energy on bitterness that I just couldn't muster enough hate to be angry with her after listening to her.” Kagura said softly.

 

“Yeah, but you've just been happier all around.” Inuyasha said slowly.

 

Kagura shrugged, touching up her eye make-up. “I've found myself being able to move on from everything. From Mika, from you and me, and from everything.” She pulled her hair up into a messy bun. “I know you hate Sesshoumaru but he's helped me learn to let things go. He's taught me how to love without hate.”

 

“Why didn't I do that for you?” Inuyasha asked softly.

 

Kagura swung around, looking closely at his face. He kept his expression blasé but she could tell that she had hurt him. “Oh, Inuyasha.” She sat down next to him, grabbing his hand. “Inuyasha, I loved you before I even knew what love really was but we both had our issues. We spent our time living us against the world and never learned how to enjoy life without each other.”

 

Inuyasha pouted a little. “I had fun without you.”

 

Kagura smiled. “Inuyasha, I've never seen you smile so much since Kagome came into your life. You were my first love and you taught me how to focus my anger and control it but Sesshoumaru has taught me how to let it go.”

 

“You sound so much more adult.” Inuyasha said laughing and kissing her on the cheek.

 

She laughed with him, standing up and pulling her heels on. “So what do you think?” She asked, doing a little spin. Her black dress fell a few inches short of her knees, flaring out just a little. It came up and tied as a halter-top, keeping her back open. She topped it off with dangling earrings, red lipstick, and shoes that tied up her calves.

 

“Breath taking.” He said softly.

 

“Good. That's what I was going for.” She grabbed her small black purse off her desk. “Coming?”

 

“Of course.”

 

She walked out to see a small powwow going on in her living room. Sango and Miroku had come in while her and Inuyasha were talking and Sesshoumaru, Miroku, and Kagome were excitedly telling Sango a story. From what Kagura could tell, they were telling her about the rehearsal where Koga had been showing off to Ayame and fell off the stage onto another actor, female of course, who then turned and punched him giving him a black eye. Houjo was not pleased.

 

They noticed Kagura when she walked in. “Kagura, you look amazing.” Kagome said after a pause.

 

Kagura smiled. “Yeah? Thank you.”

 

Miroku coughed, “I think you look pretty damn hot, personally.”

 

Sango glared at him and Miroku shrugged innocently. “I'm honest.”

 

“Quiet, lecher.” Kagura said with a wink. “Come on, Sesshoumaru, let's get out of here.”

 

He nodded, following her out after she grabbed a jacket. Once outside, he grabbed her arm and stopped her, staring at her.

 

“What?” She asked almost self-consciously.

 

He brushed her face with his thumb. “You're beautiful.” He said simply, kissing her softly before leading her to his car.

 

She didn't say anything not knowing how to react to that. She'd never been one for the romance and usually she would have just brushed off a comment like that as a passing thought from a lovesick boy but Sesshoumaru was different. He never said anything he didn't mean. It didn't bother Kagura that even after a few months of dating, he hadn't told he loved her because she knew when he did, it's be the truest thing anyone ever said to her.

 

They pulled up to one of those fancy Italian restaurants that Kagura was afraid to even try to pronounce for fear of slaughtering the name. Sesshoumaru got out and quickly went to her side, opening the door for her.

 

Hooking her arm in Sesshoumaru's elbow as they slipped into the door, she bit back on grinning like a schoolgirl. She'd never been taken out to an expensive restaurant before, the closest she'd come was Red Lobster and that was only once. For a freelance artist, Sesshoumaru had a large amount of money. Inheritance or not, he still worked and kept up a savings account that he had taken care of well.

 

“So, Sesshoumaru, my darling, are you ready to be Jekyll and Hyde?” Kagura asked, unrolling her napkin slowly.

 

Sesshoumaru nodded, perusing his menu. “I've been doing some study of the character lately. I have the lines, the blocking, music and basic development of character so at dress rehearsal this week I want to truly delve into Jekyll and Hyde's dreams and weaknesses.”

 

Kagura nodded, looking over her menu and realizing after the second item that she really didn't know what anything was. “Well, Dr. Jekyll has two loves. His fiancé, Emma, our wonderful Kagome and his passion for discovery.” She said indicating each with a hand, palm up. “Hyde, however, has only one passion.”

 

Sesshoumaru raised one eyebrow. “And that would be?”

 

“Destruction, power, control.”

 

“That's more than one thing, Kagura.” He answered dryly.

 

Kagura rolled her eyes. “Ok, he only desires the ability to be evil, to have no responsibilities and not have to answer to anyone or anything. The Hyde part of Jekyll is really just his almost subconscious desire not to be held down by anything, wife, job, his reputation and Mr. Hyde just intensifies that.”

 

Sesshoumaru set down his menu, crossing his arms and sitting back, while studying Kagura. “Is that it?”

 

Kagura shrugged. “Well, there's probably more to it but he's your character not mine.”

 

A blond haired girl walked up, pad and pen in hand. “Can I get you something to drink?” She asked smiling.

 

“Coffee for both of us please.” Sesshoumaru said softly.

 

The waitress walked away and Kagura smiled at him. “You think you know me so well.”

 

A bare smile showed. “Oh no, I know that I know you so well.”

 

Kagura just shook her head.

 

Sesshoumaru tapped his finger lightly, gathering his thoughts. “Well, Jekyll could remind someone of a drug addict or perhaps, someone who drinks too much.” He said leaning forward, elbows on the table. “You see Jekyll wants to make a new discovery and let's compare that to someone who just wants to have a good time. Now these are the people who got to a party and think if I drink just a little more, I'll have more fun till eventually, they're falling over drunk and even though they think they're having a wonderful time, they're making everyone else miserable.

 

“It starts out harmless, little bit of drinking here and there till they're drinking all the time. All the while, their friends are watching their downward spiral and not knowing what to do. After all this, these people have a terrible addiction, lost their closest friends, and now they want to be sober again don't know how to do it.”

 

Kagura nodded, finally giving up on her incomprehensible menu and putting it down. “So how is that like Jekyll cause you lost me like ten minutes ago.”

 

Sesshoumaru smiled a little. “So compare science to the alcohol. Jekyll starts out just wanting do some experiments, you know get his name out there then as it draws him in farther and farther, he begins to lose control of what he's doing. Part of his life is blacked out as Hyde, much like an alcoholic, and he starts spiraling to the point of suicide.”

 

Kagura pursed her lips. “I like that observation. It's almost psychoanalysis.” She grinned. “Ok, now Lucy.”

 

“She's your character, not mine.” He said mockingly.

 

Kagura stuck her tongue out at him. “Very well. I'll tell you my theory.”

 

The waitress walked up again and Sesshoumaru gave their orders. Apparently Sesshoumaru picked up on the fact that Kagura had no idea what anything was.

 

“Anyway,” She continued, trying not to sound embarrassed. “Lucy is one of those women who continues to be a victim throughout her life and doesn't even really know it. She's alone, dead parents, possibly abused. She's only looking for some self-worth, for someone to give her everything she's never had. Jekyll when she meets him seems like the person that could give her that. He's intelligent, well to do, caring, and passionate. She's immediately attracted to him because he's everything she wants to become something other than a prostitute.”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded slowly. “Perhaps.”

 

Kagura shook her head. “Perhaps, my butt. That's exactly what it is. Now Hyde is just hot. See there's the half of Lucy who wants to become good but there's another part of her that wants to delve deeper into her bad side and Hyde is exactly what can bring her there. Hyde rapes her and yet, she still feels this attraction to him. Maybe in her twisted mind, she believes he gave her exactly what she deserves.” Kagura shrugged. “In her darkest hours, she tends to turn toward the night rather than the light.”

 

Sesshoumaru leaned back to make way for the waitress to set down their plates. He scratched his chin idly, thinking slowly. “So how does Kagura imitate that?”

 

“Same way every aspiring actress does. By living and thinking as my character every time I step onto that stage.” Kagura shrugged. “I've never been that low but I've been an angry girl most of my life, I don't have to think too hard to figure out how she feels.”

 

Sesshoumaru finally smiled a little. “I think,” He said slowly, taking her hand and kissing it gently, “that you are just a good actress.”

 

Kagura smiled back. “I bet that's it.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

They pulled up to Kagura's apartment building about two hours later, feeling full and content. Sesshoumaru turned off the car, opened the door for her and Kagura grabbed his hand as they walked enjoying the cool night air.

 

“I like this.” Kagura said.

 

“Oh yeah?” Sesshoumaru said quietly, mostly just humoring Kagura.

 

“It's just beautiful.” She said dreamily, stepping away for Sesshoumaru and doing a small spin in her high heels. “I love the night. The world comes alive in a completely different way.”

 

Sesshoumaru reached out, catching her hand so she could do a small spin into his arms. He brushed her hair out of her eyes, stroking his knuckle down her neck. “I bet everybody's still here. We could go up and enjoy movies with the group.” Kagura said softly, looking up at him.

 

He smiled a little, “Or we could stay out here.” He kissed her softly on the forehead. “Next weekend is opening night. We could have quiet for more than twenty minutes.”

 

“They might be in bed and we can pop in a movie and I can take these god awful heels off.”

 

“They might be in bed?” Sesshoumaru asked dryly, giving Kagura a frown.

 

“Ok, so maybe not but I have got to get these heels off.” Kagura said, whining a little and stomping her foot, reminding them both of the tall heels.

 

Sesshoumaru smiled a little. “Very well.”

 

Kagura kissed his fingertips, leading him inside. “Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Inuyasha but if I did………if only……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note:

I know it's been forever since I last updated and I apologize profusely. I've been very busy. Busy during the holidays at work, exams, and play rehearsal. But I'll try not to make too many excuses. I'd like to have another chapter done by next week. Sorry for the wait.