InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Timeless Love ❯ Playing Pretend ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

PHEW. This chapter was a battle, I came down with a little writer's block, sorry if it is at all appearent in the story. Mmm I probably had some important things to say, but I have forgotten them, so I guess they will have to wait till next chapter. Lol. So now, the next chapter in this crazy idea of a story. Oh right and before I forget, a super thank you to all the faithful readers who've been here from the start, you guys are my motivation. And to those who have taken a new liking to my story, thank you, I am glad you like it.

So without further distraction..

ON WITH THE SHOW!





. . .


Chapter 7


Playing Pretend



Kagome was numb. She felt hollow as she ran, the burn in her lungs and the strain of her muscles were distant, as if they weren’t really there. She hauled herself up the stairs to her suite with speed she forgot she had possessed. When she finally had to stop at the door to unlock it, she felt the tingling ache in her limbs and the heat of exertion sweep over her. She breathed as if she were hyperventilating; a wheezy whine that sounded like it was ready to break into a sob any second.

Kagome forced herself to take slower, deeper breaths as she fumbled with the lock of the door. She walked into the suite and was somewhat relieved to find it empty. A note on Kagome’s door told her that Ryoko was with Ronin from the first floor and that she would be back later, the note also told her not to go wandering off, as she would be tracked down and dragged back to the room for some group bonding. Kagome gave a caustic laugh and crumpled the note as she went to her room.

Her mind was no longer racing, and although her blood was still pumping furiously through her veins, her breathing seemed to slow down to a near normal rate. Dumping her bag unceremoniously onto her bed, Kagome let her head loll backwards and dragged a clammy hand over her sweaty face.

What had just happened?

Her mind was foggy, and she couldn’t seem to sort anything out. She had been so shocked by the man’s face. And his apology, for some reason, it set her off like nothing she could have ever imagined. It wasn’t even a big deal, in fact it was her fault. But his voice, when he said ‘sorry’ in that voice she couldn’t help but feel like it was Inuyasha apologizing to her for leaving. She imagined when she looked up at him that she would see the stupid hanyou standing there before her, she let herself believe that it was him as she verbally attacked the man.

Of all the feelings Kagome would have guessed she would feel at seeing Inuyasha’s face, even though it wasn’t
really Inuyasha, she would have never picked fear or anger. But then again, she never expected she would see him, ever, again.

The distressed young woman paced her room as she thought. A soft pink glow caught her eye and she turned to pick up the Shikon jewel that was dangling on a string off the corner of her headboard. She walked over and picked up the jewel, fisting the gem in her hand.

The stupid jewel in the end was worthless, it hadn’t let her back to her friends on the other side of the well, and it certainly hadn’t kept Inuyasha at her side. She almost wished that he used the damn thing to become a full demon; at least he would not be gone. Damn it! She raged in her mind

She felt like she had that summer when Inuyasha died. It felt horrible, like for a second she had him again… and then he was gone. Her heart ached in her chest, the feeling was worse than Kagome had remembered. She hated feeling this way. What did she do to deserve all of this again? She could handle the memories and the hurt that came with them, it was nothing compared to this. She was furious; the fates had just decided to trip her up again, just as she was beginning to rise from her first fall. The girl opened her hand to stare at the jewel, now warm from being in her clutch.

It was all because of the jewel. None of this would have happened if not for the stupid jewel. She would not have been in this much pain; she would not have had to deal with this horrible ache. WHAT in all of her previous lifetimes could she have done to be cursed as such? Was she paying for Kikyo’s mistakes? That wasn’t fair! She never asked for the wretched jewel! Never!

Angrily Kagome heaved the stone, throwing it with all her might. The jewel made a loud crack as it hit the glass of the window in front of her. The noise startled Kagome causing her to jump. That shock was what she needed to crumple to the ground and cry. She sobbed like she had after the gates of hell closed, crying for all the pain she had felt then, and all the pain she felt now. It wasn’t one of those pretty sobs that you see in the movies, no, it was far more real and heartbreaking. Her face scrunched in agony as she bawled, tears running down her reddened countenance. Her whole body shook with her crying, clenching with the force of her sobs. Snot dripped from her nose and spit speckled the floor as she hunched over, crying for all she was worth. It was an ugly sight, true and unrivaled pain was clear through her entire body. Nothing in all of her life had ever hurt this bad, and there was nothing that she could do, it was if she had no control over her body.

She cried until she thought she had nothing left, and the she cried some more.

“Why?” she whimpered between sobs.

“Whywhywhywhywhy?” she cried. Not able to form any other words through her crying. Her breath hitched as she swallowed some of her wails, and then she was coughing, having breathed in some of her own spit in the process.

The girl was relieved when her body finally seemed to end its revolt, and she lay scrunched on the floor aching and more tired than even the first time. But she didn’t feel hollow, she hurt like hell, she just didn’t have the strength to cry anymore. Her head throbbed as she lay there, prone on the floor. Everything hurt, there was no numb, there was no escape, just physical and emotional pain. Everything that she had kept inside for the past year seemed to bubble to the surface, and she was helpless to stop it all.

Despite the blazing heat that seemed to have settled around her aching head, the rest of her body felt cold. With what little energy she still possessed, Kagome managed to drag herself up from the floor and fall onto the bed, scrunched up to retain body heat. She sniffled a few times, and took a few deep and shaky breaths. The young woman was so tired, just like the first time she cried, but this time more so. Closing her eyes, she waited for the blackness to come for her again.
She waited for what felt like ages, lying curled on her bed. The silence was almost haunting, signifying how truly alone she was at that very moment. The throbbing in her head seemed to ease with the passing time, and she felt much clearer than she had before. All of her limbs felt heavy as she lay there staring at the inside of her eyelids. Sleep was not coming to her as she had so hoped, and this would have proved to be even more distressing if her brain had not given up all function other than the basic necessities of living.

Kagome lay comatose for a few hours until she heard the tell tale creak of the suite door. She remained quiet and still as a soft knock echoed off her door. The tired girl listened to the creak of the door being opened and small whisper of her name. Vaguely the whispers of ‘she’s sleeping, we’ll wake her later’ drifted to her before the soft click of the door closing. The sound of voices was muffled through the door, but somehow they brought relief to her. Finally Kagome felt the beginnings of sleep take hold of her, the comfort of the voices outside her door easing her into the blackness.


. . .


‘Kagome’

A voice echoed through the black, it seemed so far away.

‘Kagome’

It came again, through the silence. The gentle weight on her shoulder, soft and warm, brought with it sounds, and consciousness. Long black eyelashes fluttered open partway, revealing tired blue eyes blurry with sleep.

“Kagome. Sorry to wake you.” The weight squeezed gently on her shoulder.

Kagome gave a small confused smile to the woman standing above her, her vision slowly coming into focus. She felt so tired, her mouth was dry as well, but she tried to speak.

“Hi-k-kari?” she croaked. Her tongue felt heavy and dry in her mouth as she tried to speak.

“Ryoko said that you have been sleeping since a little after lunch. We all were wondering if you’d like to have dinner.”

Kagome shifted in her bed, her entire body felt like lead. She nodded her head in the affirmative as best she could and the girl who woke her smiled.

“Okay, I’ll let the girls know.”

Hikari stood and left the room, allowing Kagome to collect herself from her post sleep daze. For the life of her, Kagome could not figure out why she felt so drained. She heaved herself up into a sitting position, blinking against the room that swayed a little as she did so. She sat in slight confusion as she tried to straighten out her muddled thoughts. Slowly it came back to her, the man, the running, the crying. Her brow furrowed at the memories and worry seeped through her as she turned to look at her window. To her relief there was no cracked glass from the impact of the jewel which landed on the far corner of her bed.

Slowly rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Kagome stood. The ache in her insides now matched the ache in her body with the return of the memories. She tried to move her dry tongue in her mouth and ended up coughing at the lack of saliva. She grabbed a half drunken bottle of water from her desk and swished some in her mouth to get rid of most of the dryness. Absently Kagome wondered at the dry taste of old water as she swallowed.

The whole ordeal she had been through this afternoon coupled with the few hours of sleep served to leave the raven haired girl completely drained. But Kagome was not content to wallow in the pain she was feeling at the moment. She decided that maybe it was best that she go out and let the whole thing wait until later to mull over. Sorting things out was best done when one was clear headed.

Stretching her heavy limbs as best she could and fixing her rumpled clothing, Kagome tried to make her self somewhat presentable. Deciding that she was still far too cold she grabbed a sweatshirt, feeling much warmer and more comfortable in the large shirt. She finally made her way out of her room while pulling her hair back into a bun, readjusting from the messy knot it had become. She smiled the best she could at the girls gathered in the room.

“Kagome, either you had a lumber jack in your room sawing down trees or you have got a serious snoring problem.” Ryoko joked as the tired woman made her way to the group.

She just shook her head and walked over to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Sayuri poked her head in after the girl, giggling lightheartedly at Ryoko’s teasing.

“So, we all were thinking that we’d go to the cafeteria for dinner and then come back here and watch some comedies.” Sayuri told Kagome as she swished the toothbrush about in her mouth.

“Hmm.” Kagome responded as best she could, once again nodding her head in the affirmative.

Once Kagome was finished freshening up she joined the girls and they all walked down to the cafeteria. The food smelled really good to Kagome as she neared the dining hall, and her stomach growled audibly. The girls all laughed at the look of embarrassment on Kagome’s face and hurried their pace to get to the food.

The pleasantries at dinner helped to quell the ache in Kagome’s heart. The girls talked animatedly and shared their experiences in class. Kagome even joined in a little when Hikari gushed about their composition teacher.

The more the she participated in the socialization the duller the ache got, and as she ate her fill of food Kagome felt a little better for wear.

The night’s festivities went quickly with much laughter and joking and Kagome once again found herself lying in her bed, waiting impatiently for a sleep that just wouldn’t come. She was too tired to move, but somehow not tired enough to sleep, thusly she was quite vexed at having to lay motionless and will a sleep to come forward.

Thoughts were no longer churning in her mind as she had spent most of the movie sorting them out.

The man she saw was decidedly not Inuyasha. In fact he may not even look like him; she didn’t really give him too good a look. Did she? She was just going partially crazy, she decided, and she was letting far too many of the old memories creep back in. Anniversaries of death and destruction be damned, she wasn’t going to fall apart again. No, Kagome was not going to wallow in sadness and self pity, she was going to live. Moving forward was all she could do, a blank future set before her, a sullied past laid behind. There simply was nothing left to do, short of dying, but that was not something Kagome planned on doing any time soon. And no Inuyasha look alike was going to shake her from her path. The young woman may not have purpose or direction but she did have drive.

Kagome shifted unhappily in bed, the elusive sleep slipping further away at her movement. She cursed herself and her own impatience, realizing she had just been on the cusp before shaking it away. Finding another, more comfortable, position she tried to relax again.


. . .


Kagome sat with Sayuri and Mai, nibbling delicately on rice balls and half listening to their chatter. Her morning classes were over quickly, and despite finding one of her professors spoke heavily accented Japanese as a second language everything had gone fairly well. She had an hour for lunch before her early afternoon class.

“And he had the strangest eyes too!” Mai said wonderingly.

Kagome perked slightly, attention drawn fully to the twittering girls and their conversation.

“They were so light brown, they looked gold. He was quite a looker, so handsome.”
Kagome stared at Mai.

“Poor guy looked lost, and he was so cute I couldn’t help but ask him if he needed any help.”

“And?” Sayuri queried impatiently, clearly excited about the exotic boy with the golden eyes her suitemate had detailed.

Mai deflated somewhat. “He said he was fine, and just walked away.” The dejected girl smirked, “He even had a sexy voice.”

Kagome was choking on her food as she listened to Mai talk about the look alike and apparently what occurred after she had left. The poor guy must have been blown away by her behavior. Kagome almost groaned. I tried to sit him! If he ever saw her again he probably would tell everyone within earshot what a lunatic she was. She tried to SIT the guy, how horrible.

Watery blue eyes blinked furiously a she coughed. Kagome’s two lunch companions stared at her worriedly. After clearing her airways Kagome gave an embarrassed laugh and reassured them she was fine.

“Man Kagome. You should have seen this guy!” Mai continued, “If I was single I would be after him like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I have no doubt.” Kagome laughed awkwardly.

“Oh my” Came a soft whisper from Sayuri’s side of the table.

Both Mai and Kagome followed her gaze.

“That’s HIM!” Mai whispered back excitedly

“He IS cute.” Sayuri said in awe.

“See Kagome?”

Kagome could only sit and stare as the look alike (who, just as she feared, looked nearly identical to Inuyasha) strolled by laughing easily with some friends. And in a moment of serendipity he glanced over making brief eye contact with Kagome. Said girl’s heart leapt high into her throat, a shock of cold fear racing down her spine, she immediately flushed and averted her gaze. Neither of her companions seemed to notice as she sat trembling in her seat. Kagome felt a mixture of fear, sadness and excitement at having seen the man again. But she also felt an incredible amount of embarrassment when he looked right at her. When she looked up he was gone, and she sighed audibly in relief.

The rest of lunch went by without incident, save for the chatter on the irony of seeing the golden eyed boy they had only been talking about moments before. Kagome was relieved to go and hightailed it to her class, praying to whatever God would have mercy on her poor heart that she would not run into the look alike on her way to class. By the grace of some divine being, her prayers were answered and she made it safely to and through class without a single sighting of the guy.

The class ended early as it was the very first day, and the professor didn’t feel the need to delve into work right away. Kagome was quite relieved at being done with her classes in such a timely fashion, and even more relieved to find that she did not want or need to drop any of the classes that she signed up for.

Despite having eaten lunch only a couple hours before, Kagome felt the distinctive rumble in her stomach. Remembering a vending machine she passed on her way to class, the young woman made her way to satiate her snacking urges. Kagome stood before the machine with a finger pressed to her bottom lip, trying to decide just what would satisfy her hunger. She stared at all the sweets, sitting enticingly in their glass and metal case. Her stomach gave an impatient gurgle as she finally keyed in her choice.

“You know, I don’t do tricks for treats.” The deep voice behind her sent that familiar chill down her spine.

Kagome knew the fates were laughing at her from above.

Cautiously Kagome turned around to look into the haunting face of the man who she had dreaded seeing again.

Inuyasha’s double chuckled at her and the surprise easily visible on her face, and the blush that dusted her cheeks. She was trapped between the vending machine and the amused man. Panic was slowly rising in her being, and the need to escape came back to her in full force once more. But this time Kagome fought the anxiety, if it was fight or flight, she was going to fight.

“Um,” She began intelligently.

“Do you always ‘sit’ people who piss you off?” the man cut in, his voice still laden with amusement.

Kagome blushed harder at the question, averting her eyes.

“You’ve got quite a temper. I might have been put out if you weren’t so cute when you’re fuming.”

Kagome’s head shot up at that statement and she gaped openly at the man before her. He wasn’t mad?

“I-I uh,”

'Goodbye composure'

“I know I’m good looking, but you gotta do a little better than that. Try answering me with words.”

Kagome scowled at his jibe, and partly at herself for being such a bumbling twit. Why couldn’t she just talk to the guy, she had no problem tearing him a new one yesterday.

“Oi, you gonna try to answer me at all? Ka-go-me?” The double’s lips were lifted into a cocky little smirk that screamed Inuyasha.

“How do you know my name?” She asked, half shocked at hearing it spoken in that voice again.

“It’s kinda hard to forget when someone stabs their finger into your stomach while yelling it at you.”

Kagome’s face felt aflame, she had made a royal ass out of herself the previous day.

“Oh. Right. Sorry.” She felt utterly defeated already. But that defiance crackled to life in her and she looked back at the man. “Look, I didn’t mean to go off on you. I just, you, just.” Kagome sighed. “You reminded me of someone I knew.”

“Someone you must not have liked very much.” He cut in again, but this time there was a slight frown on his face.

“It was just a stupid reaction. I don’t even know where it came from. I’m really sorry.” Kagome was frowning more than him now.

The man chuckled. “So what, did you ‘sit’ this guy often? Are you like some kind of dominatrix?”

Kagome thought her cheeks were going to melt off her face. She could only stare in mild horror at the man who was so smugly picking on her. The fact occurred to her that he was also flirting with her, a lot. He had even told her she was cute. What was going on here?

'I think I’m being Punk’d'

“I-ah-no. It’s a complicated story, slip of the tongue kind of thing.”

“Oh. Okay.”

That smirk was back again.

“Listen, I gotta go to class, but I’ll probably see you around Ka-go-me.” The double smiled brilliantly at her, she could see again those pointy white canines.

“Um, ok.”

'Wow Kagome, he must be amazed at your extensive vocabulary.'

“By the way, my name is Kin.” He said, poking her in the shoulder. Kagome blinked at him stupidly as he winked and turned away. It was Kagome’s turn to stand in utter shock as she watched him saunter away.




. . .

So don't hate me yet. Like I said before, Inuyasha will be back true to form... you just have to be patient.. let it allllllll come together my friends.

Thanks again for all the lovely reveiws.