InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Torn ❯ Realizations ( Chapter 3 )

~*~

 

 

 

 

Chapter Three

 

Realizations

 

 

(All of the punctuation errors should be fixed now. Sheesh! Thanks for your patience. Special thanks to DemonGoddess and Hellfyrre for helping me to fix this up for mm.org. and, for the help that I received from Koga's Hentai Luver before the first posting.)

 

Snowfall

Formerlyposted under

Hanyou Slave

 

 

 

“Go get the old healer, toad,” ordered Inuyasha.

 

“Why should I obey you? I only obey my Lord Sesshoumaru's commands!” croaked the old toad.

 

“Yeah, and Sesshoumaru's decided to go all rotting on us,” Inuyasha huffed as he sliced open Sesshoumaru's bandages with his claws. “If you want a lord to command you, you'd better do what I tell you. Can't you smell that shit!?” Inuyasha yelled, giving Jakken a nice lump on his head.

 

Jakken screeched and scampered across the room before sniffing the air, and if his yellow eyes could have bugged out of his pea green skull any further, they would have fallen to the floor. The two foot high imp scurried from the room, waving his arms and grumbling out curses at Naraku.

 

Inuyasha gazed down at his brother's face. Sesshoumaru seemed so serene in his sleep. But then again, it was rare that Sesshoumaru didn't appear serene, or at least cold and unaffected.

 

`I wish Kouga hadn't left. We could really use his help now. Even if he is a wimpy wolf.'

 

For some reason, Inuyasha felt a little hollow at the loss of the wolf. They had been constant companions and caretakers over the past couple of weeks.

 

`Just like Naraku to leave some slow working, deadly poison behind to screw everything up. The two people that were most important to me are gone. I wasn't ready to let them go. I'm not ready to let Sesshoumaru go either. Is it always like this? Will I ever be ready to let someone go?' he thought while cleaning away the black, viscous fluid. `No. Life for a half-breed is always fucked up. Maybe the bastard was right all along.'

 

`Will I be ready when Sango or Miroku die? I will live a lot longer than they will. Is Shippou going to get killed before I have a chance to raise him? I can't stand it anymore. I just can't do it. When this is done, I'm taking Shippou back to Sango and Miroku. I don't need anyone to make my life more of a nightmare than it already is. They always leave, one way or another. I'd rather be alone. That's how a hanyou is supposed to live anyway. Eventually, I'll be alone again. Just like before…no home, no family, no friends.'

 

A single tear slid down his cheek. How many centuries before mercy finally killed him? Sent him to be with his friends? Would he live long enough to see Kagome in her time? Being a hanyou with human blood in him, he highly doubted it.

 

He took great care to be gentle with Sesshoumaru. After all, when his brother healed, they would become enemies once more. He only had this one chance to be close to Sesshoumaru. Then he would make sure to get enough distance between them that he would never be reminded of his longing to be at his brother's side.

 

The old healer relieved him of his brooding when she rushed into the room bearing poultices and potions. Inuyasha stepped away from the bed and watched with detachment. At some point, Sesshoumaru's recovery would force him to leave. Best to begin preparing for it now.

 

Inuyasha left the room to seek out some private place to cleanse his mind and wash his heart clean of any emotions he might be tempted to wallow in upon his departure.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Without the jewel shards in his legs, Kouga couldn't travel as quickly in his bipedal form. He took to his wolf form and raced to check on his pack. He had no reason to believe that they couldn't handle themselves, but a leader must have some presence and he had been gone way too long. Still, he missed Inuyasha. They had become like brothers. Well, maybe closer than that.

 

`Well, he was the closest person to Kagome. It's no wonder I miss him. He hasn't lost her scent yet. I guess that's all it is. Yeah, I'm just confused. It's her that I miss.'

 

With that rationalization in place, Kouga felt a weight lift from his shoulders and was able to increase his speed as his concentration on the terrain became more focused.

 

 

~*~

 

 

“What do you think you are doing?” questioned Sesshoumaru, though he couldn't say that it wasn't pleasant having Inuyasha's fingers grazing his skin.

 

“So, you're finally awake and back to your idiot self. I'm changing your bandages…dumb ass,” grumbled Inuyasha.

 

Well, the flower scheme had gone down the tubes, but it was for the best. Sesshoumaru was in no condition to be agitated.

 

“What is that horrid scent on these bandages? I will relish taking my revenge on you, half-breed.”

 

“Well, you'll just have to wait for the kill. And, that horrid smell is what got rid of Naraku's poison. You've been out since Kouga left four days ago,” Inuyasha said absentmindedly while dressing the wounds.

 

“You're healing now. I won't be around much longer if you'll just take it easy and eat like I told you to before. I'll let you have your peace when I'm sure you're well enough to take care of your oh, so perfect self. It won't be long. How's that for motivation?” Inuyasha looked up and gave Sesshoumaru a small, melancholy smile.

 

Although Sesshoumaru kept his gaze on Inuyasha, his expression was as blank as ever, never giving away the thoughts weaving their way through his mind.

 

`I will be well enough to kill him soon. Why should he be sad when speaking of leaving? It's written all over him.' Sesshoumaru's mind seemed to be more keen than it had been while Naraku's poison was corrupting his blood.

 

“You rest now. Wouldn't want to delay your kill. I'll be back to check on you later.” Inuyasha made his way to the door then looked back. Sesshoumaru was still watching him. Inuyasha gave Sesshoumaru his best smirk. “You're too much of an asshole to kick the bucket. I should have just left you alone in the first place.”

 

Sesshoumaru could have sworn he saw the bright reflection of tears along the bottom edge of Inuyasha's eyes before the hanyou turned and, with slumped shoulders, left him to his thoughts.

 

”…I wish I did know why you hate me so much, Sess. I really do. You don't despise me like you do humans. You reeeeally hate me, like I've killed your favorite pet or something. What did I do to make you hate me? I guess it doesn't really matter, does it, Sess? You'll get better and then we'll keep trying to kill each other. Well, I'm not going to try to kill you, just keep you from killing me. Life will go on just like always…won't it, Sess. Just like always…”

 

`Mmm. That was on our way to the village, I suppose. He also sounded saddened at that time. Why? Considering the questions he posed, it seems he has had some feelings for quite some time. How far back does it go? He has never sought me out to do harm. I have been the one to intrude upon his life.'

 

Sesshoumaru didn't much care for being confused, or thoughtful of another being's condition. It shouldn't matter to him. Nevertheless, it did. A great deal, it seemed, as he couldn't refrain from pondering his brother's behavior. Why he was even bothering to take an interest in Inuyasha's emotional state was a mystery that he promptly chose to ignore, at least, for the moment. He had never had so many headaches in his life.

 

Sesshoumaru drifted off into a fitful sleep, visions of an exotic creature with soft, white, triangular ears and brilliant golden eyes following him around like a lost puppy, plaguing his dreams.

 

“Wake up, Sesshoumaru. Time to eat.” The voice was unusually soft for the owner. Yet, it had the desired effect, despite the gentle tone.

 

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes to gaze into the same brilliant gold of those orbs, once vibrant with amorous affection, that had haunted his dreams. He examined his half-brother. The expression there was not that much different than it had been on the day when he had ordered the child to leave him be. The only difference was that this expression was accepting, despite the slight droop in the ears. Defeat. Why did Inuyasha feel defeated?

 

`Was it the disappearance of that priestess of his that has changed him so?'

 

“The old healer said to start out with some broth instead of meat. I'm going to feed it to you so you don't have to strain yourself sitting up. Don't fight me, alright?” Inuyasha said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

 

`Not `baka', `asshole', or `bastard'?' thought Sesshoumaru with no small bit of wonder.

 

Unwanted emotions stirred in Sesshoumaru's heart. He never stopped gazing at Inuyasha as he was fed, the wheels of his mind examining his feelings about his little brother. Had there never been a bit of compassion toward the little half-breed? Ever?

 

“I'm not going to poison you, if that's what you are worried about,” Inuyasha said, completely misunderstanding Sesshoumaru's attention.

 

“The thought never crossed my mind, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru snorted.

 

“Aren't we being civil today? Did you forget I'm a worthless half-breed?” Inuyasha chuckled, but it was laced with a deep well of sadness. “You ate. I'll send Rin. She'll let me know if you try to get out of bed, so don't even think about it.”

 

Inuyasha made to stand up, but was surprised when caught by a hand on his forearm.

 

“Inuyasha?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You didn't help me just because I saved you and your friends.” It was more of a statement than a question.

 

“No big deal, Sesshoumaru.” Inuyasha gave him a rare smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

 

“I would prefer to understand before you leave,” said Sesshoumaru. Though not quite a demand, it was obvious he wouldn't be denied an answer.

 

“You're the only family I have. That should be enough. Now let go of my arm.”

 

“No.”

 

Sesshoumaru didn't understand his own actions. He only knew that he didn't want Inuyasha to leave just yet.

 

Nevertheless, Inuyasha wanted to leave more than anything. However, he knew he should prevent Sesshoumaru from becoming irritated. He sighed in resignation and set the bowl on the night stand.

 

“What do you want, Sesshoumaru?”

 

“You still want to be with me as you had when you were a pup. Is this not true?”

 

Sesshoumaru studied Inuyasha's face expecting a lie.

 

“Maybe. Never happened, never will. Stop asking questions. The answers don't matter,” Inuyasha scowled, impatient to leave the irritating questions that delved much too deep.

 

Inuyasha didn't volunteer anymore information. He simply sat staring out the window that was located on the opposite wall. Did Sesshoumaru enjoy torturing him?

 

A long silence stretched out between them before Sesshoumaru spoke.

 

“I heard your questions when we were on the back of the fire cat and have had time to ponder them. Do you wish for an answer? ” Sesshoumaru waited patiently, giving his brother time to mull it over.

 

“Would it make any difference?” Inuyasha asked, turning to gaze at his brother.

 

He really wanted to get out of that room. Sesshoumaru's attention was slowly killing him. This was not going to help him leave when the time came.

 

Sesshoumaru cleared his throat and forced his gaze to stay on Inuyasha. He couldn't understand why he desperately wished to look away. He spoke as though it took everything in him to get the words past his lips.

 

“I was jealous. You and your mother took father's attention from me. Such a humiliating emotion. I was angry at father. It is a dishonorable thing that I used you as a convenient target.” He took a shuddering breath and finally let his gaze fall to the hand that was still on Inuyasha's arm.

 

“Thank you,” came the softly spoken reply.

 

To Sesshoumaru's astonishment, Inuyasha leaned down and gave him a light peck on the cheek, surreptitiously slipping his arm out of Sesshoumaru's grasp. Then he was gone.

 

What were these emotions running through his chest? Why had he said anything at all to Inuyasha? His head burned with confusion and dismay. It would be so easy to slip back into a warring relationship with Inuyasha and it would certainly simplify matters. But was that what he really wanted now? Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to alleviate an oncoming headache. Fortunately, dreamless sleep soon extinguished his thoughts.

 

Inuyasha quickly scented Rin's location and sent her to his brother. He wasted no time finding his room and locking the door behind him. Leaning against the window frame, a breeze shifted his hair from his face while somewhat soothing his aching chest.

 

`Stupid, fucking, brother!'

 

 

~*~

 

 

Racing through the western lands, Kouga found that he was more than anxious to be back in Inuyasha's company. On the other hand, he could do without Inuyasha's brother. Hopefully, Sesshoumaru was well enough that he and Inuyasha could soon leave. That was an uplifting thought. It suddenly occurred to Kouga that he might be becoming a bit obsessed with Inuyasha and it gave him pause to wonder if it was actually Kagome that motivated his feelings for Inuyasha.

 

His disturbing thoughts slowed his pace as the castle walls came into view. Finally, he sat down and stared ahead while trying to decipher the meaning of his feelings and behavior. A patch of red caught his eyes. Squinting, he focused on the lone figure of Inuyasha, leaning against the frame of an open window.

 

`Inuyasha really doesn't have a home. Sure, he has friends, but they're all humans, doing human things. And they will die one day. He will be alone again. He needs a real home. Why should I care though? But…I do.'

 

It wasn't like Kouga to question his motivations, but if he were to ask Inuyasha to come home with him, he would have to give Inuyasha an acceptable reason. And it simply didn't sit well with him that he had developed such a strong desire to be with the hanyou. He had never been so compelled to be with Kagome, even after he had claimed her as his woman. It had been too easy to leave her in Inuyasha's care. Had he trusted the half-breed so much that he now felt a responsibility?

 

`Whatever it is, I'll just do what comes to me when I get there, I guess,' Kouga thought as he took off in a dead run.

 

 

~*~

 

 

”Hey, Sesshoumaru, guess where I found Jakken today? He was hanging by a rope from one of your trees. You should've seen it! He was ranting and raving about how he was going to get those two little brats.”

 

Through his haze, Sesshoumaru could hear Inuyasha chuckling.

 

“Well, I don't know if you think it's funny, but I sure do. I haven't had this much fun in awhile. About the only fun I ever had was seeing Sango knock the shit out of Miroku for feeling her up…I wonder what you would think is funny? I can't see anything making you laugh. That's not good for you, you know. You should laugh every once in awhile. It feels good. Ah, you probably don't care about that kind of stuff. Maybe you get your kicks trying to kill me. Well, I'll be more than happy to fight you as soon as you get well. I'm not very patient though so you better hurry it up or I won't do it. So there. Stupid bastard. I can hear the old healer coming so I'll leave you alone.”

 

Sesshoumaru felt the edge of the bed shift as Inuyasha moved away.

 

`Why does he speak to me with such familiarity? More important, why do I feel so alone when he leaves? I have never felt alone. It is good to have no ties with others. They all die. You will die, Inuyasha. And why does that thought annoy me? I should choose the time of his death. Dispatch him myself. No other, not even time itself, has that right.'

 

Sesshoumaru felt his head being lifted and heard the old healer speak through the murkiness of his thoughts.

 

“Here. Drink this, Lord Sesshoumaru. I know it makes you groggy, but that is a good thing. You need to rest in order to heal.”

 

Sesshoumaru reluctantly swallowed as she poured the nasty potion down his throat. Though being helpless was new to him, he was relieved to know that Inuyasha would protect him during his time of weakness. On the plus side, Rin would also be taken care of and no one in his household would dare consider revolting. He was fortunate that Inuyasha was there for him, but wasn't sure how he felt about it. Well, it felt good, but his mind railed against it. Inuyasha was a half-breed, a half-breed that had interfered, in a less than desirable fashion, in his life as a child. But it was true that none of it was Inuyasha's doing. He hadn't asked to be born, much less born a hanyou.

 

It had to have been the fault of the medicine. His mind was so confused and couldn't follow one simple train of thought.

 

`Has he ever really wanted to die, to undo what his parents had done?'

 

Sesshoumaru wondered how it would feel to want to die and really couldn't fathom such pits of despair, though he realized it was a distinct possibility that Inuyasha had gone through such a thing. After all, Inuyasha had had no home. His entire life, up to the past couple of years, had been lived as an unwanted half-breed.

 

`Why is he still alive? He should be dead. If not by another's hand, then by his own. What has kept him alive?'

 

Sesshoumaru didn't have the opportunity to ponder that last question as the darkness of sleep crept in, postponing desperately needed answers to a multitude of questions.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Inuyasha wandered the halls, occasionally fondling the earring Kagome had given him. Letting his thoughts settle on her seemed to help him overcome the sadness prompted by the knowledge that he would soon be leaving. He found himself, once again, back in his room, staring out the window and searching the area for any sign of Kouga. He needed to leave, to get away from Sesshoumaru. It was just too hard to have his brother's intense gaze on him.

 

`Why does he stare at me like that? He hasn't said anything hateful in awhile.'

 

Inuyasha fondled the earring again.

 

`Probably thinks he can stare me away.' Inuyasha chuckled, but the smile soon faded. `He'll be on his feet any day now and I can go. Guess I'll take Shippou to see Sango and Miroku. He should probably stay there since I don't have a home for him.'

 

“Hey, Inuyasha!”

 

“Eh? Oh. Hi, runt. What're you and Rin up to?” he asked Shippou with a frown. The two always seemed to be getting into something.

 

“Well, I was wondering if you would come with me and Rin to see Sesshoumaru.”

 

“Nah, he's fine. Why don't you two go pester him for me?”

 

“Why don't you want to come with us?” Shippou asked.

 

“Yeah?” asked Rin, peeking in from around the door.

 

“Feh! We don't like each other, remember?”

 

Rin put her arms behind her back and rocked back and forth on her feet. “I think you do. I can tell.”

 

“Come on, Inuyasha, let's go see him,” prodded Shippou.

 

“No.”

 

“Please?” asked Rin.

 

“I said `no',” Inuyasha growled.

 

“Do not growl at Rin,” came a solemn voice from the hall.

 

“Lord Sesshoumaru! You're walking!” exclaimed Rin as she hurled herself in his direction, coming to a screeching halt only two inches from his person before blinding him with a smile of one hundred suns.

 

“Quite observant of you. Now go play and take the fox with you,” Sesshoumaru instructed, a bit unnerved by her constant ability to startle the hell out of him.

 

“Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru,” beamed Rin. Grabbing Shippou's hand, she obediently ran out the door.

 

Sesshoumaru carefully made his way to a large cloth covered, wing-back chair that sat in the corner as Inuyasha turned his face back to the window.

 

“What do you want, Sesshoumaru?”

 

Only silence greeted him.

 

“I know. It's almost time for me to leave. You can walk, but you're not strong enough to fight yet. You still can't defend yourself, so you'll just have to wait.”

 

After a long period of silence, Inuyasha turned his gaze to the chair. Sesshoumaru's head was resting against one of the wings, fast asleep.

 

“Stupid idiot. You'll just have to sleep there. I'm not dragging your mangy ass back to bed.”

 

Inuyasha stared at the slumped figure. The walk must have been very hard on Sesshoumaru. What did he want that was so important? Whatever it was, Inuyasha wasn't sure he wanted to know. Sesshoumaru wasn't in any shape to be left alone yet.

 

“Okay, I won't drag you all the way back to your bed, so you can have mine.”

 

It wasn't that Sesshoumaru was too heavy for Inuyasha to carry. Balancing his tall frame was simply awkward. After pulling back the sheets on his bed, Inuyasha slid one arm beneath Sesshoumaru's knees and one around his shoulders, lifting him as gently as possible. Once he had Sesshoumaru situated, Inuyasha stared at his brother for a long moment then strolled back to the window.

 

`Admit it. This feels like home and you don't want to leave. Stupid.'

 

Inuyasha felt tears prick the back of his eyes. `I'm an idiot.'

 

Kagome had been his home. Where ever she had been, everything was right with the world. Now, there was no other place that had ever felt so much like home as right here, with Sesshoumaru. Gazing over at his bed, he suddenly felt weary and wanted nothing more than to sleep off the sadness.

 

`It's big enough. I don't think Sesshoumaru has any intention of killing me right now.'

 

Inuyasha shuffled over to the side of the bed opposite Sesshoumaru, climbed in to lie on his side, and gazed at the refined profile of his brother. He watched the rise and fall of Sesshoumaru's chest.

 

The scent of sickness had disappeared, yet Inuyasha worried that it would return. Nothing was impossible where Naraku was concerned. He suspected that the poison in Sesshoumaru's blood stream had been injected by Naraku's tentacles. Devious spider. That damn bastard had probably used a shard or some sort of witchcraft in order to make a poison powerful enough to affect Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru was impervious to poison. This was a first. Leave it to Naraku to manage something like this.

 

“You know, Naraku probably believed that you'd die from that poison? I guess we showed him, huh?”

 

Inuyasha was surprised when Sesshoumaru turned his head and his eyelids slid partially open.

 

“You have a habit of speaking to me when I'm asleep,” Sesshoumaru slowly drawled in his stupor. His lips remained parted while his eyes drifted shut.

 

“Keh, it's the only time I get a decent conversation from you, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha grinned. There was no answer. “See what I mean?”

 

Inuyasha sighed as he gazed at Sesshoumaru. He would miss their `conversations', he mused, as his mind drifted back to the inevitability of his departure. Suddenly, he was overcome with the urge to touch Sesshoumaru in more than just a caretaker's capacity. Tentatively, he reached out and caressed Sesshoumaru's cheek with the pads of his fingers then let his palm rest against the side of Sesshoumaru's face.

 

“For a cold sonofabitch, you're awfully pretty. I think I'm going to miss you.”

 

He was startled by Sesshoumaru's hand appearing around his wrist and tugged at the iron grip, believing he was about to be burned by green acid. But, Sesshoumaru only held Inuyasha's hand to his face as his hooded eyes slid open for a fraction of a second.

 

“Stay…,” whispered Sesshoumaru.

 

“Are you awake?” Inuyasha scowled at Sesshoumaru. He didn't get an answer as Sesshoumaru's hand slipped away.

 

“Stupid bastard,” snorted Inuyasha as he rolled over onto his back. “You shouldn't say shit you don't mean.” Pain shot through his chest at the thought that Sesshoumaru was just tormenting him or saying something else altogether.

 

`I hate you. And I'm leaving just as soon as I get the chance.'

 

Tears silently trailed from Inuyasha's eyes as he drifted off to sleep.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Rin and Shippou peeked around the door facing.

 

“Now?” asked Shippou with a mischievous grin.

 

“Yeah,” whispered Rin.

 

They both crept into the room bearing armloads of flowers, crayons and drawing parchment.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Inuyasha woke to the sound of chuckling and the fragrant smell of too many flowers. Through a slit in one eye, he saw Sesshoumaru facing him, still asleep. There were flowers braided throughout Sesshoumaru's hair. He looked like a fairy. A very pretty fairy. Inuyasha let his gaze travel down the length of Sesshoumaru's outline and found the bed covered in flowers.

 

More snickering brought his attention to the chair that Sesshoumaru had been sleeping in. Sitting with his right ankle propped on his left knee, one arm draped over a wing of the chair, and the other on the arm of the chair, was Kouga, obviously amused. Inuyasha rose up and rubbed his eyes. Flowers fell from his hair and he looked over, narrowing his eyes at Kouga.

 

“Hey, don't look at me!” he said, pointing to the floor at Rin and Shippou, who were drawing portraits of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, sleeping in a bed of flowers.

 

“You're awake, Inuyasha!” chirped Shippou. “Look!” he exclaimed, proudly holding up one of his pictures.

 

“Yeah. Now be quiet, runt. You'll wake up Sesshoumaru,” scowled Inuyasha.

 

Shippou's eyebrows rose as he nodded his head and plopped back down beside Rin. He looked at her current drawing and blushed at what he saw, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru embracing one another.

 

`Flowers…and salt? Too soft to be on the ground.'

 

Sesshoumaru sniffed before slitting his eyes open to see the empty pillow beside him. The bed shook, bringing his attention to the red clad figure rising from the bed to shoo everyone out of the room and couldn't help but overhear the conversation outside the door.

 

“Sooo, what's the great lord doing in your bed, dog turd?” Kouga raised a mocking eyebrow at Inuyasha.

 

Inuyasha didn't take the bait. “The stupid baka thought he was strong enough to be up runnin' around. Dunno why he decided to come to my room, but he fell asleep in the chair as soon as he sat down. I wasn't about to carry him all the way back to his bed.”

 

“Yeah, but you were there with him,” Kouga said with a grin that looked more vicious than playful.

 

“Where else do you want me to sleep, you wimpy wolf? His bed? No thanks.”

 

“There are other beds, you know. But you climbed in there with him. I still say you like him,” said Kouga, pressing the issue.

 

“I'm not in the mood, Kouga. What do you want?”

 

`What do I want?' thought Kouga, shifting his weight to his other foot.

 

“Nothin'. Just don't get too comfortable. You'll be leaving soon.”

 

“I know that.”

 

“Look, you don't have a home. Thought I'd ask if you want to come live with my pack.”

 

That was a surprise. Leaving dominated most of his thoughts lately. However, going home with Kouga had never entered his mind. He wasn't sure if he could handle being around a crowded area, even if he wanted to. At least, here he wasn't bothered by having too many people around. It was quiet for the most part. He didn't have to live with Sango and Miroku, just check in on them every once in awhile. Old Kaede would need looking after too.

 

He'd never realized it before, but he liked his freedom even if it did mean being cold and hungry every now and then. That wouldn't be any kind of life for Shippou. Demons pretty much left the human villages alone. Shippou would be better off in one of them, but Kouga's den? He couldn't imagine that.

 

“I dunno if I could stand the smell of your tribe, Kouga,” Inuyasha said, giving an exaggerated sigh and quirking a smile.

 

“Just think about it. You might change your mind,” said Kouga, patting him on the back.

 

“I will,” Inuyasha said, wondering if he would change his mind.

 

Everything was so different since the jewel had been completed and Kagome had gone back to her time. He hadn't quite gotten accustomed to the change. It was just so odd. He reached up and caressed the earring. Kouga didn't miss it.

 

“She's gone, Inuyasha.”

 

“I know. It's stupid, but this place feels like home and I don't really want to leave.”

 

Inuyasha wasn't sure why he had confided in Kouga. Since Kagome's departure, he had felt as though there were a hole in his soul and nothing appeared to be able to fill it. He had been attempting to prepare himself to wander the wilds as he had before the priestesses had taken a shine to him. But this, here…it helped to ease some of that emptiness.

 

“Accept it, mutt-face. Sesshoumaru's gonna try to kill you as soon as he has the strength. You won't have to deal with that around my pack.”

 

Inuyasha was shocked when Kouga reached out and squeezed his arm.

 

“Lay off, flea bag,” he said, slapping Kouga's hand away.

 

“Geeze, a person tries to be nice and you go all shitty.” Kouga himself wasn't quite certain why he had made the gesture, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

 

“Whatever. I'm going for walk.” With that said, Inuyasha turned on his heel and headed for the gardens, Kouga trailing behind him.

 

“Stop following me,” Inuyasha growled.

 

“I ain't got anything better to do, mutt-face.”

 

“Whatever,” said Inuyasha, though somewhat pleased that he wouldn't be completely alone. He had, after all, been anxious for Kouga's return. Maybe a little company wouldn't be so bad.

 

“You sure I can't talk you into coming back with me?” asked Kouga, strolling alongside Inuyasha. “I…would really like for you to come.”

 

“You are out of your mind, but I appreciate the offer.” Inuyasha was a bit surprised at Kouga's persistence, and it was nice to be wanted. However, Kouga had always been persistent with his courting of Kagome despite her rebuffs. This might not be so different.

 

Kouga stepped in front of Inuyasha and turned to stop the hanyou, but he had been too quick and Inuyasha walked right into him. Kouga grabbed Inuyasha's upper arms to steady him, but didn't let go once Inuyasha had his balance back.

 

Inuyasha stared at him in surprise.

 

“Kouga?”

 

“Please, Inuyasha. You can at least try it out for awhile and leave if you decide it's not what you want.”

 

“What's gotten into you, Kouga?”

 

Kouga just stared down at him before leaning in to plant a barely there kiss on Inuyasha's lips. Both were surprised at Kouga's actions. Inuyasha raised his fingers to his lips while staring up at Kouga, too stunned for words.

 

“Come with me. I promise you won't be alone,” Kouga whispered.

 

“I…uh. You kissed me,” Inuyasha stammered.

 

“Yeah, and I'll do it again if you'll let me.”

 

`It felt good, but…'

 

Inuyasha dropped his hand and Kouga took advantage, planting another kiss on Inuyasha's lips. Only this one wasn't so chaste.

 

He wrapped his arms around Inuyasha in a tight embrace as though Inuyasha would run from him, but was pleasantly surprised when Inuyasha hesitantly returned the embrace. It was a few moments before Inuyasha began to give in to the kiss.

 

`What am I doing? Am I that lonely?' Inuyasha thought to himself. Confusion warred with desire, but curiosity got the best of him and he gave in to the wolf.

 

Reality crept in and Inuyasha pulled away. “I don't know what just happened, Kouga, but I think I need to go back inside and look in on Sesshoumaru.”

 

Kouga smiled. He hadn't gotten socked in the jaw. That was a good sign.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Rin looked at Shippou from behind a tree. “This isn't good,” she whispered.

 

“I know. We'll have to do something about it,” answered Shippou.

 

“Yeah. Maybe Jakken can help,” Rin replied.

 

“We better think up something fast or Inuyasha might take off with Kouga,” Rin said, frowning.

 

Both sat in silence for some time. “I know! We'll write Inuyasha notes and pretend they are from Sesshoumaru and then we'll write notes for Sesshoumaru and pretend they are from Inuyasha,” exclaimed Rin.

 

“That's a great idea, Rin! But, we might need to do more than that.”

 

“We'll think something up.”

 

 

~*~

 

 

Sesshoumaru stood on his balcony, observing the intimate moment between the hanyou and wolf. A possessive growl rolled off his lips, surprising him. He wasn't near as annoyed to find his body, as well as Inuyasha's bed, littered with flowers. It hadn't been the first time Rin had been so bold as to do something like that. He frequently found his bath filled with flower petals. Still, this little stunt had been disconcerting, more so than the small annoyance of Rin's previous escapades.

 

`It is not my concern,' he assured himself and turned to make his way back into his room, but his body was not willing to cooperate.

 

“This is unacceptable,” he informed his body before slumping to the ground and leaning back against the concrete railing.

 

The sun beat down upon him as though mocking his predicament while a sheen of sweat broke out on his body as the weakness became more pronounced.

 

`Extremely unacceptable,' he thought as his chin dropped to his chest and blackness began to creep into his vision, blocking out his view of the floor.

 

“What in the hell do you think you're doing out there, you idiot!?” exclaimed Inuyasha.

 

Sesshoumaru's vision had already blackened to non-existence and he found himself equally devoid of the ability to speak.

 

“Help me out here, Kouga.”

 

To Sesshoumaru, it all seemed like background noise slowly being overcome by a soft buzzing sound, but he could feel strong arms lifting and jostling him. Though he was thankful to be out of the sun and in the cool comfort of his bed, it was disquieting to be found as he was, weak and helpless. Once he regained his voice, he took out his frustration on the one person he shouldn't have.

 

“You know that I will kill you once I am able?” he rasped.

 

“Yeah, yeah, you've made that clear too many times, you fucking asshole,” fumed Inuyasha. “Maybe I should take Kouga up on his offer. I don't know why I should think you'd care. Heartless sonofabitch.”

 

Sesshoumaru growled at Inuyasha's threat to leave with Kouga. “You will not leave with that wolf.”

 

Kouga raised an eyebrow. Why would Sesshoumaru care? It didn't really matter since Inuyasha was considering his request. He couldn't hold back the small smile that crept across his face.

 

“It's none of your business now, is it? Go to sleep. You're getting on my nerves. Kouga, would you make sure this jerk stays in bed? I can't stand to be around him right now.”

 

“No prob, mutt-face,” answered Kouga. The smile disappeared from his face when he noticed that Inuyasha's expression didn't only hold anger, but pain as well.

 

Once Inuyasha had left the room, Kouga turned his attention to Sesshoumaru.

 

“You know he cares about you. Why do you have to treat him like shit?”

 

Sesshoumaru didn't bother to open his eyes. “Why did you kiss him, wolf?”

 

Kouga was shocked at the sudden change in subject, but rose to the occasion. “What's it to you? You treat him like shit. You don't want him around and I'll take him off your hands. Isn't that enough?”

 

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes to glare at Kouga. “It's bad enough that he is a half-breed, but you would defile him further.”

 

“Like I said, what's it to you?”

 

“My father's blood runs through his veins. I will not allow you to defile that.”

 

“According to you, he's already defiled by the blood of a dirty human. So. Answer my question. What's it to you?”

 

Sesshoumaru growled at the persistent wolf. “Regardless, you are not good enough for him.”

 

“Then who is? Do you see any other Inu-youkai running around? I'm the strongest of my pack. No one else is as good for him as I am, unless you want him,” he added as a joke, but realized he might have hit the mark.

 

“I'll be damned! You want him, don't you?”

 

“No,” Sesshoumaru growled.

 

But somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if that wasn't true.

 

“No, I do not want him,” he whispered in protest before slipping into unconsciousness.

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Reviewer Recognition

I Lurve You All

(And,to all my readers, I love you too ^_^)

 

I apologize to those whose reviews were lost when the fics were removed. My boo-boo.

 

 

MM.ORG

 

Lirilith

Sorry it took so long. I'm glad that you are enjoying the fic. Thanks for the review

 

Gen50

That's really odd because I didn't change any of the dialogue. I'm sure that I added more description. I'm sorry and also apologize in advance. Inu is about to go into serious `emo' mode. Thanks for the review. It's really all your fault, you know. You said that you were going to send me a comparison. Heheh I know what you mean, though. I read edited fics and think the exact same thing. Sometimes we just don't need t be told the easy stuff. ^_^ Thanks for the review.

 

Demongoddess061

I'm glad that you like the changes. Flow was what I was looking for. ^_^ Thanks for the review.

 

 

 

 

AFF

 

M0RB1D

rin136

ahanchan

ChrisKaz

Koga's Hentai Luver

Kira

Princess Sin

Bitterchoco20

Lady Gray

Faint

 

 

~*~

 

*Disclaimer*

 

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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