InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Unlike You ❯ It's time to end what never really began ( Chapter 11 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

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DICLAIMER: I still do not own Inuyasha. STILL!

Author’s note: CHAPTER REVISED; SORTA
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< /i> Chapter 11: It's time to end what never really began

It was rather cold outside on this blissful night. I could see the stars shinning brightly back at me. Hearing footsteps behind me, my guess was Inuyasha's, I continued the silent walk. He had already made me mad one too many times tonight.. How could he simply say he cares, and then act like he is madly in love with Kikyo? Tell her she's the "beauty of the ball"/ -snort- /More like terror of the ball. God what did any guy see in her? Much less the one I fell in love with?

Okay--So she was pretty, but still why her out of all the people in this country.. I would have been happier if he would have gone with a guy. Not some bimbo of the street. At least I would know I would never lose him to her./ -sigh- /Back on topic.. How can he really and truly still love me? Do I even really love him? I mean we don’t even know each other anymore. I don’t know him at all, but here I am outside with him wandering around with nobody to be a witness if he suddenly turns psycho killer on me. Well that is if he can even pay attention long enough.

How do you really tell if you love someone? I know I like being around him! But is that just familiarity? Is it just that I’m so used to being with him that no other guy can make me feel this way.. No, I haven’t been with other guys.. I was to afraid to be hurt again. Its such terror to watch guys walk around and wonder would they hurt me like my once lover did? Or would they simply love you for who you truly are, and not be afraid to walk on top of a building and be like, "Hey you! Yea--You down there! You see this woman I am standing next to? This is my lady and I’m not afraid to tell you I LOVE HER! You got that!!"-Giggles-

Yea right like Inuyasha would do that. Kagome frowned down at her reflection form the lake. I wouldn’t want to either, I mean look at that face..
Kagome flung her hand through her own reflection. Sheesh you would think that I could still make the one guy that is "suppose" to love me actually watch me and only me in the NOO. She has to come in and still his attention. She heard a melody coming back from the garden. Slowly she headed for the noise, getting close enough to hear the words she stopped. The ball music was playing over an intercom.

"It's just your imagination to think I would never love you. It's just your imagination to think I would never be-e-e yours. Well its just that wild imagination to think dreams don’t come true. But baby!! Id do anything for you-uuu-. Just open your eyes, and let me see you. Just let me be your first dream that’s true--ly in love with YOUUU!!! Never let me go. Justt-t-t hold on tight... And believe me when I say--yy-- I LOVEEE YOUUUUU!!!!"
Kagome smiled. Wow, that was beautiful. She wiped her tears away and she looked at Inuyasha standing by the balcony towards the ball. He was watching inside instead of looking at her. Kagome sighed. It just cant be, can it?

It will never be just him and me again. Just us? It'll always be him and "her" Kagome slowly walked up to his back. Looking in the glass door, and seeing Kikyo dancing with Oniguma. Why is he watching her? Coming to a conclusion at last she was about to do what she didn’t want to do. Smiling a tearful and painful one she tapped Inuyasha on the shoulder. Surprisingly he jumped around to face her, apparently not knowing that she had walked so quietly up behind him.

"Inuyasha I-- Well what I mean to say is that I-- I mean us--" Turning around she let out an exaggerated sigh. "This is so harder than I would hope" She faced Inuyasha and rose her hand to meet his face." I would never want to hurt you, you know that?"-He nodded- " “Good, and I would only want the best for you. I mean I want what makes you happy."

Inuyasha shook his head and grabbed her hand that was still held to his face. " Kagome, your confusing me! What are you trying to say?"

She quickly laughed hysterically and then sobered up and prepared to cry when she walked away. " I am your past. Not future. You have found someone who can love and will love you more that I ever will. I think you want me back because we make each other comfortable. I mean we love being around each other because we are used to the company. And I don’t want to stand in your way with someone you couldn’t possibly live without, and by us meeting I have almost ruined your chance to true happiness. But I bet if you hurry she'll forgive you. I bet she still misses you. In fact I could tell she's been lonely." Kagome slowly turned around and began walking towards the car she had came in.

"Wait Kagome, you have lost me with your speech. I don’t love her. I mean I REALLY don’t love her. She is not you. I mean-- Look what I'm trying to say was that she was my bounce back. She was kind of like a stand in for you. I mean I was truly hurt and I still don’t think I could live with out you--I"

"STOP! God who are we kidding. We tick each other off to no limit we never say what’s on our minds. We are always lying to each other, and always will. Cant you see that. We just CANT be!! Its not in destiny's books for us. We don’t exist together. All we do is cause pain. I cause you pain because I cant let myself trust you, or love you. And you cause me pain by trying to put our lives back when there is no possible way. We just cant be, why cant you understand that? Why cant we just except it and be friends." Kagome was crying her eyes out. Soon it came out in sobbs. "Ye-es we did-- have something spe-special. But its ov-ove- over for us. God please just let it go. This morning was a mistake. If I had known that you already had someone else I would have not let you touch me."

Struggling to get away from Inuyasha she kicked his shin and ran. She ran as fast as she could to make it to her car. "Kagome DONT GO! PLEASE. We need to talk. I LOVE you!!" Kagome only hearing muffled sounds as she shoved herself and her gown into her car and quickly sped away. Tears cascade down her face. She felt so ashamed, because she knew everything she had said to him was a lie. Being without him is unbearable enough as it is, she couldn’t live through him wishing his with Kikyo instead. He had said he didn’t love Kikyo but then, why was he so intent on watching her through the glass windows? Why did he look so surprised to see her at the ball?

Inuyasha ran into the parking lot screaming her name over and over again until he finally realized she was gone. He rubbed his face and cleared his eyes for he knew that tears had slipped. Lord once again she was gone. Just like that awful night. Going crazy slowly he said out to the open, where Kagome should have been.

"Kagome, my love. I just wanted you to know. Before you go. That I didn’t come after you because I knew that if I was to come to were ever you where you would tell me you hate me again, and I would then have to realize that we were actually over. I understand now where I went wrong. I love you! Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me. I am completely lost without you. Damn I cant even find my own life without you. I don’t even know where to go from here.Kikyo means nothing to me. I told her this morning that is was over because I had my true love back into my life." Laughing he fell to the ground. "My heart has been ripped out because you felt that I did not love you!”

And there in the middle of the parking lot he cried his eyes out. Right there is where he left his pain, but also were he left a piece of him. That he was sure would never again be refilled.

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THE END!
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KIDD ING!

Author’s Note: Okay, so yeah. I decide to keep this chapter even though I realize it seems like they are going back and forth. Some coming up chapters will be completely new, BECAUSE I have to thicken the plot. In the old story there really was not plot except them falling in love, and I must do what every story has, The hero must get his moment to be the Knight for his heroine. So let me know what you think..

Jessica