InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ We Will Become Silhouettes ❯ Sinner's Serenade ( Chapter 14 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: white_hawk 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 06.02.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 8.7K | Visits: 661 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 06.02.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 8.7K | Visits: 661 | Status: Work In Progress
We Will Become Silhouettes
Chapter 14 Sinner’s Serenade
Sesshomaru watched with lifeless eyes as Inuyasha ran from the room as quickly as possible after having just announced the very thing that would surely destroy both of their lives. The hanyou had left him without a shred of doubt, and the odd thing was the fact that it hurt much more than he would have ever thought possible.
He knew he shouldn’t be so upset by this; he had been the one to cause it after all, and yet now he longed to go back in time and change the cataclysmic events that had shattered his happy lie. It was a mistake to put this situation so bluntly to Inuyasha. His hanyou had never been very good at dealing with things, and such a large scale injustice was sure to throw him into a state of complete hysteria.
Of course it didn’t help the fact that right when his mate had been about to return to him, Inutaishou had to go and mention an event that Sesshomaru had long since buried in his mind. The very thought of the travesties he had been subjected to when he was only 150 years old, barely 15 by human years, was enough to make the things he had done to the hanyou look like child’s play.
It didn’t change the fact that he had used Inuyasha immensely. Just because he was regretting his actions now, didn’t mean that the original sin was revocable. Inuyasha was what he wanted, and yet all he ever seemed to do was hurt him. Inuyasha was a memory of what he had been, and so he used the boisterous hanyou to make him feel even the slightest bit of pain that was placed on Sesshomaru so long ago. He didn’t want to do it, and yet it seemed an unconscious act of cruelty brought on by his inner demons. Inuyasha was a scapegoat to carry the blame that should have been placed on his corrupter’s shoulders.
Despite how angered he was at the knowledge of him once having a mate being revealed, he couldn’t really blame the youkai lord for doing it. He thought that Inuyasha needed to know all of the facts, and he would have never known of the event had it not been for his ever scheming mother. She had seen Inuyasha’s lack of patience, and knew just how she could press her stepson’s buttons.
Speaking of the bitch-thing that spawned him, Sesshomaru turned blazing gold eyes to her cool blue and saw that she seemed to just radiate with satisfaction.
“Is it your wish in life to ruin mine?” He had usually kept these conversations with his manipulative blood in private, but he didn’t think she deserved such discrete methods. Let her husband see just what a traitorous witch he marriedÉmaybe then Sesshomaru would finally be rid of her.
Unfortunately for him, Amarante was one of the most talented liars he had ever metÉeven better than him when she wanted to be. Standing up from her cushion, she walked over to her only son with nothing but concern deep in her eyes.
“Oh SesshomaruÉ” She laced her words with false concern. “I can’t imagine how bad you must be hurting right now. I know how much you cared for him, but he had to know the truth.”
She placed a hand on his face, and he bit back the urge to slap it away. Somehow he didn’t think that Inutaishou would allow him to hit his wife though, regardless of how much she deserved it. That didn’t mean that he, in
any way, had to keep a civil tongue, though.
“You know nothing, you pretentious harpy. You did this out of spite.” Sesshomaru saw the warning in Inutaishou’s eyes, but he chose to ignore it as he vented his anger on the one person that truly deserved it. “You’ve done what you set out to accomplish, mother; you once more took away the only person I cared forÉI know it must feel good, so go ahead and bask in your stolen gloryÉdon’t bother to pretend you give a damn on my behalf.”
Amarante said nothing, but Sesshomaru could see the corners of her mouth twitching to stop from rising in a self-satisfied smirk. She was enjoying this far too much. Her self satisfaction soon turned once more into false hurt as she leaned against her husband.
“Sesshomaru, that is enough. Your mother told me that information in confidence. If it was anyone’s fault that Inuyasha had such a reaction, it was mine. I was the one who chose to tell him, and so the blame should be placed on my shoulders and not your mother’s.” Sesshomaru had to bite his tongue at that. Someone really should tell the lord that chivalry was truly dead. Especially when it concerned his conniving, bitch of a mother.
Bowing to the inu-youkai, Sesshomaru used all he had been taught to remain himself through this whole ordeal when all he really wanted to do was scream. “Of course, my lord.” Now came the question he was dreading to be answered. “Tell me, what is going to happen now?”
Inutaishou’s face turned grim as he wrapped his arms around the scarlet woman he had claimed as a wife. “Well if my son decides to go through with his decision we will have to take him to a priestess to disavow the bond.” His face hardened. “After that takes place it will take three days to fully dissolve, in which time the both of you will more than likely be in immense emotional pain. After the mark is completely gone the two of you will be forever apart. It is forbidden to mate again, and even if you did you wouldn’t have the soul bond that you have now.”
Being the ever skilled person at hiding his emotions that he was, he let none of the upset he felt show on his features, and instead only nodded. “I understand, sir.” All he wanted to do was get out of this room, but unlike Inuyasha he had an appearance to keep, and he couldn’t just run out of the room cryingÉ.not that he would ever do that if he could, but that wasn’t the point. “Is there anything else you need?”
Obviously sensing his urgency to leave, Inutaishou seemed to take pity on his stepson. “No, Sesshomaru. You may leave.” With another nod, Sesshomaru bowed to his new set of parents and left the room as quickly as possible.
Sesshomaru watched with lifeless eyes as Inuyasha ran from the room as quickly as possible after having just announced the very thing that would surely destroy both of their lives. The hanyou had left him without a shred of doubt, and the odd thing was the fact that it hurt much more than he would have ever thought possible.
He knew he shouldn’t be so upset by this; he had been the one to cause it after all, and yet now he longed to go back in time and change the cataclysmic events that had shattered his happy lie. It was a mistake to put this situation so bluntly to Inuyasha. His hanyou had never been very good at dealing with things, and such a large scale injustice was sure to throw him into a state of complete hysteria.
Of course it didn’t help the fact that right when his mate had been about to return to him, Inutaishou had to go and mention an event that Sesshomaru had long since buried in his mind. The very thought of the travesties he had been subjected to when he was only 150 years old, barely 15 by human years, was enough to make the things he had done to the hanyou look like child’s play.
It didn’t change the fact that he had used Inuyasha immensely. Just because he was regretting his actions now, didn’t mean that the original sin was revocable. Inuyasha was what he wanted, and yet all he ever seemed to do was hurt him. Inuyasha was a memory of what he had been, and so he used the boisterous hanyou to make him feel even the slightest bit of pain that was placed on Sesshomaru so long ago. He didn’t want to do it, and yet it seemed an unconscious act of cruelty brought on by his inner demons. Inuyasha was a scapegoat to carry the blame that should have been placed on his corrupter’s shoulders.
Despite how angered he was at the knowledge of him once having a mate being revealed, he couldn’t really blame the youkai lord for doing it. He thought that Inuyasha needed to know all of the facts, and he would have never known of the event had it not been for his ever scheming mother. She had seen Inuyasha’s lack of patience, and knew just how she could press her stepson’s buttons.
Speaking of the bitch-thing that spawned him, Sesshomaru turned blazing gold eyes to her cool blue and saw that she seemed to just radiate with satisfaction.
“Is it your wish in life to ruin mine?” He had usually kept these conversations with his manipulative blood in private, but he didn’t think she deserved such discrete methods. Let her husband see just what a traitorous witch he marriedÉmaybe then Sesshomaru would finally be rid of her.
Unfortunately for him, Amarante was one of the most talented liars he had ever metÉeven better than him when she wanted to be. Standing up from her cushion, she walked over to her only son with nothing but concern deep in her eyes.
“Oh SesshomaruÉ” She laced her words with false concern. “I can’t imagine how bad you must be hurting right now. I know how much you cared for him, but he had to know the truth.”
She placed a hand on his face, and he bit back the urge to slap it away. Somehow he didn’t think that Inutaishou would allow him to hit his wife though, regardless of how much she deserved it. That didn’t mean that he, in
any way, had to keep a civil tongue, though.
“You know nothing, you pretentious harpy. You did this out of spite.” Sesshomaru saw the warning in Inutaishou’s eyes, but he chose to ignore it as he vented his anger on the one person that truly deserved it. “You’ve done what you set out to accomplish, mother; you once more took away the only person I cared forÉI know it must feel good, so go ahead and bask in your stolen gloryÉdon’t bother to pretend you give a damn on my behalf.”
Amarante said nothing, but Sesshomaru could see the corners of her mouth twitching to stop from rising in a self-satisfied smirk. She was enjoying this far too much. Her self satisfaction soon turned once more into false hurt as she leaned against her husband.
“Sesshomaru, that is enough. Your mother told me that information in confidence. If it was anyone’s fault that Inuyasha had such a reaction, it was mine. I was the one who chose to tell him, and so the blame should be placed on my shoulders and not your mother’s.” Sesshomaru had to bite his tongue at that. Someone really should tell the lord that chivalry was truly dead. Especially when it concerned his conniving, bitch of a mother.
Bowing to the inu-youkai, Sesshomaru used all he had been taught to remain himself through this whole ordeal when all he really wanted to do was scream. “Of course, my lord.” Now came the question he was dreading to be answered. “Tell me, what is going to happen now?”
Inutaishou’s face turned grim as he wrapped his arms around the scarlet woman he had claimed as a wife. “Well if my son decides to go through with his decision we will have to take him to a priestess to disavow the bond.” His face hardened. “After that takes place it will take three days to fully dissolve, in which time the both of you will more than likely be in immense emotional pain. After the mark is completely gone the two of you will be forever apart. It is forbidden to mate again, and even if you did you wouldn’t have the soul bond that you have now.”
Being the ever skilled person at hiding his emotions that he was, he let none of the upset he felt show on his features, and instead only nodded. “I understand, sir.” All he wanted to do was get out of this room, but unlike Inuyasha he had an appearance to keep, and he couldn’t just run out of the room cryingÉ.not that he would ever do that if he could, but that wasn’t the point. “Is there anything else you need?”
Obviously sensing his urgency to leave, Inutaishou seemed to take pity on his stepson. “No, Sesshomaru. You may leave.” With another nod, Sesshomaru bowed to his new set of parents and left the room as quickly as possible.
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He had spent several hours in his room, merely lying in his empty bed, waiting for sleep to overtake him but to no avail. He had hoped that it would somehow suffocate and drown out at least some of the silent misery that was threatening to burn irreparable holes into the throbbing muscle of his chest that he had recently identified as his heart. He glanced to his side where his hanyou usually laid while snuggling fervently into his chest. He wasn’t there tonight though. As a matter of fact Sesshomaru highly doubted that his lover would ever snuggle into his chest again.
When exactly was it that he grew so accustomed to having Inuyasha near him? When did his very day depend on whether or not his mate was in a good mood or bad? Rolling over once again, Sesshomaru buried his face in a pillow that still smelled of his mate. When was it that he had fallen so deeply in love?
He scoffed to himself. What ridiculous nonsense. He couldn’t possibly be in love with InuyashaÉHe couldn’t possibly love. Love was just some unnecessary emotion that people wanted to include their lives to give them the illusion that they meant something. Yet when he thought of never being with his mate again, he couldn’t help but feel that somewhere deep down he felt more for Inuyasha than he had for anyone or anything else his life.
Sesshomaru’s eyes snapped open as with another inhale of his bedding Inuyasha’s scent seemed much more near than it had before. At the sight of the hanyou standing in his doorway he knew why.
His chest restricted slightly when he saw how Inuyasha’s entire body was shaking, and he could see the blood running down the side of his chest and neck from the wound he was desperately clutching at with one of his claws.
Neither one of them said a word as Sesshomaru just continued to stare at his injured and upset mate. He had no idea why Inuyasha had chosen to come to his room so late at night, but he couldn’t help the glimmer of hope that was slowly rising in his body. He stopped it while it was only a glimmer though. Getting your hopes up only leads to further disappointment.
His gold eyes stayed trained on his mate’s body as he walked forward in silence. The bed creaked with his weight as he crawled forward, not saying a word as he settled in next to Sesshomaru. He grabbed the youkai’s arm and wrapped it around his waist as he lay with his back towards his mate.
The blood from Inuyasha’s wound stung his nose, and Sesshomaru had to use every bit of patience he had to not demand answers out of the upset hanyou. No, he would let Inuyasha do the talking, and after about 10 minutes of complete silence his lover finally spoke up.
“I couldn’t sleepÉ” Inuyasha’s quiet and broken voice startled him, and from the raspiness of it Sesshomaru knew that he had been crying. “Isn’t that pathetic?” He chastised himself. “Even after all that’s happened tonight I can’t bear the pain of not being next to you at night.”
Nodding in the dark, Sesshomaru tested his boundaries and reached out to tenderly pet his mate’s hair, ghosting over the ears he knew were the hanyou’s most sensitive feature. He gave a sigh of relief when Inuyasha didn’t flinch away from his touch.
He knew he had to say something, but Inuyasha’s sorrow seemed to be washing over him in tidal waves and he was finding it a little difficult to find his voice. “Inuyasha, can I see where you’re hurt?”
Nodding, Inuyasha removed the hand from his neck, and Sesshomaru blanched at the fresh gush of blood that poured from it. From what he could see through the blood there was a rather large gash in his neck, and Sesshomaru had a feeling just why it was there.
Inuyasha had done this to himself. He could see the ligature marks from his lover’s claws where they had brutally dug into his neck. A fresh wave of guilt washed over him knowing that the hanyou had literally tried to rip the mark off of him.
Leaning down, Sesshomaru snuggled his body behind that of his mate’s and pulled him closer to his chest, not liking how he was practically comatose in his arms. Bringing his mouth down to the wound, the youkai let his tongue snake out and methodically began lapping at the injured skin and seeping blood.
The tangy taste of his mate usually served as the ultimate aphrodisiac to him, and so as he tried to fix the wound he couldn’t stop the wave a pleasure sent to his groin as he lapped at his massacred neck, the disfigured mark of the youkai who soon might no longer even be his mate.
A hiss escaped Inuyasha’s throat as the skin of his neck began to heal with help from Sesshomaru’s saliva, and soon the only mark left on that beautiful skin of his was the mating mark he now shunned, which was back in pristine condition.
“I had a dream onceÉ” Inuyasha began, his voice as lifeless as his body felt still curled in his arms. “It was when I was still a pupÉyou were in it. I didn’t know it at the time, but now I know it was you.” Sesshomaru’s eyebrow rose in speculation, but he said nothing as he continued to hold his upset mate. “You were young than, tooÉbarely a teenager, and you couldn’t stop smiling...I’ve never seen you smile like thatÉso innocentÉso unlike you.” Sesshomaru really had to wonder where this was going, but he let the hanyou continue, uninterrupted, as he recounted the rest of his dream.
“I asked you why you were so happy, and you told me that it was because you had finally found the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with.” Warm tears fell onto Sesshomaru’s hand, and he simply wrapped his arm more securely around the demon. “I asked how you could possibly know if you were going to be with someone for all their lives, and you told me that when you saw that person you would just know.” Inuyasha’s breathing increased as he tried to get control of himself. “You told me that when you saw that destined person they would be more beautiful than anything you had ever seen, and that in your heart you would know that no matter what they were your true destiny.”
Sesshomaru’s eyes shut in pain as he remembered Inuyasha’s very first word to him had been beautiful. “So are you trying to tell me that us being together is destiny?”
“I thought it was.” Was Inuyasha’s calm reply. “From the moment I saw you I knew that you were everything I’d ever want, and for a moment I thought that you might feel the same way too, but now I’m not so sureÉbecause the person your younger self was talking about wasn’t meÉI wasn’t the person that filled you with such happinessÉit was that other personÉthe one that got taken away from you.”
Golden eyes widened at the assumption. His first mating make him happy?...If only Inuyasha knew the truth. He debated for about half a second on whether or not he should tell his lover the truth, but seeing as how he was already in such a wrecked state, Sesshomaru knew the story would send him over the edge.
Squeezing his hanyou tighter, Sesshomaru pulled his mate into his chest, holding him tightly until his sobs had stopped. He had no doubt that Inuyasha’s nerves were completely frayed. After the night he had Sesshomaru was impressed that he was even still cognitive. Though by his sluggish actions and broken responses the youkai wondered just how cognitive he even was.
Of course Sesshomaru had learned the hard way that there was a very simple test to know whether or not Inuyasha had lost it.
“Dagger.” He let the word slip out in a whisper against his lover’s ear, almost wincing when it brought forth no reaction. Inuyasha was obviously still very pissed, so the nickname should provoke some kind of response, and yet there was nothingÉIf anything he became even more frozen in his arms.
Sighing, Sesshomaru knew right then that even though Inuyasha had come to him tonight; they were far from being fine. “Dagger, it was another lifetime ago that my broken mating took placeÉit means nothing to me.” He placed a small kiss on his newly healed neck. “You must believe me when I tell you that you’re all that matters now. You were the person in that dream that gave me such happinessÉI want no one else.”
Sesshomaru held his lover for what felt like an eternity as he watched the moon travel across the sky. The sun was already starting to come up over the horizon, casting a purplish hue in its wake. They had been lying there in stony silence for hours, just waiting for something to happen.
He held his breath in suspense when Inuyasha finally shifted in his arms, turning swollen puffy eyes towards him that looked much too dead to belong to his flamboyant lover. His eyes shut a little when the hanyou’s hand reached out to stroke his cheek, never once leaving his gaze.
“Your words are poison.” The statement stung like a knife, and Inuyasha twisted that knife by leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his placid lips. “I wanted one more night with you, but my decision has not changed.”
Sesshomaru wanted to reach out to his mate as he rolled out of the bed and began walking towards the door, but the overall dread of what had just happened seemed to keep him pinned to the spot. Inuyasha turned before leaving, and gave him a sad smile.
“Good-bye, Sesshomaru. I wish things could have been different between us, because I really did love youÉ” Golden eyes filled with anguish closed, and when they opened they were overflowed with tears as Inuyasha seemed to realize his mistake. “Do love youÉI really do love you.” With one last pained look, Inuyasha exited his room, and Sesshomaru knew that he would not be back. Unbeknownst to even the youkai, a wetness unfamiliar to him slipped unnoticed down his cheek as the full weight of his loss settled down upon him.
When exactly was it that he grew so accustomed to having Inuyasha near him? When did his very day depend on whether or not his mate was in a good mood or bad? Rolling over once again, Sesshomaru buried his face in a pillow that still smelled of his mate. When was it that he had fallen so deeply in love?
He scoffed to himself. What ridiculous nonsense. He couldn’t possibly be in love with InuyashaÉHe couldn’t possibly love. Love was just some unnecessary emotion that people wanted to include their lives to give them the illusion that they meant something. Yet when he thought of never being with his mate again, he couldn’t help but feel that somewhere deep down he felt more for Inuyasha than he had for anyone or anything else his life.
Sesshomaru’s eyes snapped open as with another inhale of his bedding Inuyasha’s scent seemed much more near than it had before. At the sight of the hanyou standing in his doorway he knew why.
His chest restricted slightly when he saw how Inuyasha’s entire body was shaking, and he could see the blood running down the side of his chest and neck from the wound he was desperately clutching at with one of his claws.
Neither one of them said a word as Sesshomaru just continued to stare at his injured and upset mate. He had no idea why Inuyasha had chosen to come to his room so late at night, but he couldn’t help the glimmer of hope that was slowly rising in his body. He stopped it while it was only a glimmer though. Getting your hopes up only leads to further disappointment.
His gold eyes stayed trained on his mate’s body as he walked forward in silence. The bed creaked with his weight as he crawled forward, not saying a word as he settled in next to Sesshomaru. He grabbed the youkai’s arm and wrapped it around his waist as he lay with his back towards his mate.
The blood from Inuyasha’s wound stung his nose, and Sesshomaru had to use every bit of patience he had to not demand answers out of the upset hanyou. No, he would let Inuyasha do the talking, and after about 10 minutes of complete silence his lover finally spoke up.
“I couldn’t sleepÉ” Inuyasha’s quiet and broken voice startled him, and from the raspiness of it Sesshomaru knew that he had been crying. “Isn’t that pathetic?” He chastised himself. “Even after all that’s happened tonight I can’t bear the pain of not being next to you at night.”
Nodding in the dark, Sesshomaru tested his boundaries and reached out to tenderly pet his mate’s hair, ghosting over the ears he knew were the hanyou’s most sensitive feature. He gave a sigh of relief when Inuyasha didn’t flinch away from his touch.
He knew he had to say something, but Inuyasha’s sorrow seemed to be washing over him in tidal waves and he was finding it a little difficult to find his voice. “Inuyasha, can I see where you’re hurt?”
Nodding, Inuyasha removed the hand from his neck, and Sesshomaru blanched at the fresh gush of blood that poured from it. From what he could see through the blood there was a rather large gash in his neck, and Sesshomaru had a feeling just why it was there.
Inuyasha had done this to himself. He could see the ligature marks from his lover’s claws where they had brutally dug into his neck. A fresh wave of guilt washed over him knowing that the hanyou had literally tried to rip the mark off of him.
Leaning down, Sesshomaru snuggled his body behind that of his mate’s and pulled him closer to his chest, not liking how he was practically comatose in his arms. Bringing his mouth down to the wound, the youkai let his tongue snake out and methodically began lapping at the injured skin and seeping blood.
The tangy taste of his mate usually served as the ultimate aphrodisiac to him, and so as he tried to fix the wound he couldn’t stop the wave a pleasure sent to his groin as he lapped at his massacred neck, the disfigured mark of the youkai who soon might no longer even be his mate.
A hiss escaped Inuyasha’s throat as the skin of his neck began to heal with help from Sesshomaru’s saliva, and soon the only mark left on that beautiful skin of his was the mating mark he now shunned, which was back in pristine condition.
“I had a dream onceÉ” Inuyasha began, his voice as lifeless as his body felt still curled in his arms. “It was when I was still a pupÉyou were in it. I didn’t know it at the time, but now I know it was you.” Sesshomaru’s eyebrow rose in speculation, but he said nothing as he continued to hold his upset mate. “You were young than, tooÉbarely a teenager, and you couldn’t stop smiling...I’ve never seen you smile like thatÉso innocentÉso unlike you.” Sesshomaru really had to wonder where this was going, but he let the hanyou continue, uninterrupted, as he recounted the rest of his dream.
“I asked you why you were so happy, and you told me that it was because you had finally found the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with.” Warm tears fell onto Sesshomaru’s hand, and he simply wrapped his arm more securely around the demon. “I asked how you could possibly know if you were going to be with someone for all their lives, and you told me that when you saw that person you would just know.” Inuyasha’s breathing increased as he tried to get control of himself. “You told me that when you saw that destined person they would be more beautiful than anything you had ever seen, and that in your heart you would know that no matter what they were your true destiny.”
Sesshomaru’s eyes shut in pain as he remembered Inuyasha’s very first word to him had been beautiful. “So are you trying to tell me that us being together is destiny?”
“I thought it was.” Was Inuyasha’s calm reply. “From the moment I saw you I knew that you were everything I’d ever want, and for a moment I thought that you might feel the same way too, but now I’m not so sureÉbecause the person your younger self was talking about wasn’t meÉI wasn’t the person that filled you with such happinessÉit was that other personÉthe one that got taken away from you.”
Golden eyes widened at the assumption. His first mating make him happy?...If only Inuyasha knew the truth. He debated for about half a second on whether or not he should tell his lover the truth, but seeing as how he was already in such a wrecked state, Sesshomaru knew the story would send him over the edge.
Squeezing his hanyou tighter, Sesshomaru pulled his mate into his chest, holding him tightly until his sobs had stopped. He had no doubt that Inuyasha’s nerves were completely frayed. After the night he had Sesshomaru was impressed that he was even still cognitive. Though by his sluggish actions and broken responses the youkai wondered just how cognitive he even was.
Of course Sesshomaru had learned the hard way that there was a very simple test to know whether or not Inuyasha had lost it.
“Dagger.” He let the word slip out in a whisper against his lover’s ear, almost wincing when it brought forth no reaction. Inuyasha was obviously still very pissed, so the nickname should provoke some kind of response, and yet there was nothingÉIf anything he became even more frozen in his arms.
Sighing, Sesshomaru knew right then that even though Inuyasha had come to him tonight; they were far from being fine. “Dagger, it was another lifetime ago that my broken mating took placeÉit means nothing to me.” He placed a small kiss on his newly healed neck. “You must believe me when I tell you that you’re all that matters now. You were the person in that dream that gave me such happinessÉI want no one else.”
Sesshomaru held his lover for what felt like an eternity as he watched the moon travel across the sky. The sun was already starting to come up over the horizon, casting a purplish hue in its wake. They had been lying there in stony silence for hours, just waiting for something to happen.
He held his breath in suspense when Inuyasha finally shifted in his arms, turning swollen puffy eyes towards him that looked much too dead to belong to his flamboyant lover. His eyes shut a little when the hanyou’s hand reached out to stroke his cheek, never once leaving his gaze.
“Your words are poison.” The statement stung like a knife, and Inuyasha twisted that knife by leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his placid lips. “I wanted one more night with you, but my decision has not changed.”
Sesshomaru wanted to reach out to his mate as he rolled out of the bed and began walking towards the door, but the overall dread of what had just happened seemed to keep him pinned to the spot. Inuyasha turned before leaving, and gave him a sad smile.
“Good-bye, Sesshomaru. I wish things could have been different between us, because I really did love youÉ” Golden eyes filled with anguish closed, and when they opened they were overflowed with tears as Inuyasha seemed to realize his mistake. “Do love youÉI really do love you.” With one last pained look, Inuyasha exited his room, and Sesshomaru knew that he would not be back. Unbeknownst to even the youkai, a wetness unfamiliar to him slipped unnoticed down his cheek as the full weight of his loss settled down upon him.
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Inuyasha stared, completely emotionless, out into the forest that held his namesake. He hadn’t slept a wink the night before, being much too busy trying to stop from killing himself. That had been the worst night of his life, and he wanted to forget that it ever took place. He wanted to forget everything, and for it all to go back to the way it was before he had ever fallen in love with his stepbrother.
Of course he wasn’t an idiot, he knew that he couldn’t erase the memories, but he could erase the mark that bound him to the heartless youkai, and he fully intended on doing just that. He knew that he had been accused of being irrational when he was upset, but regardless of where his emotions led him, this was the choice he had to follow.
Sesshomaru meant pain, and even though it killed him to do it, he knew that if he didn’t separate himself from that pain now he would be feeling it for the rest of his life. And despite what he read about in fairytales and romance stories, sometimes love wasn’t enough.
This was destined to fail from the moment it started. Sesshomaru could give him no heirs to his father’s lands. Not to mention the fact that most of the time they could hardly stand each other. Attraction cannot be the only thing holding such a strong relationship together, or it is destined to fail. The constant deceit and lies didn’t help their chances at all either.
His eyes stung from the tears that would no longer fall. Tears were just alibis to prove that you could feel anyways, and it seemed Inuyasha no longer had that quality. He didn’t think Sesshomaru ever possessed such a weakness, and now he was as pitiless as his soon to be ex-mate.
After his father had explained that the process of disintegrating the bond would take three days, him, Sesshomaru, and Inutaishou had headed into town. The youkai lord had said they needed a priestess, and Inuyasha suggested Kikyo. Kagome’s sister would do wonders, not only because she was closest, but because he knew that his friend would make her keep her mouth shut about the entire matter.
Not a word had been said the entire walk there, but Inuyasha could still feel the holes burning into his back from Sesshomaru’s calculatable staring. It was as if the youkai were weighing the options on whether or not he would actually go through with it or not. Inuyasha snorted to himself. Well if Sesshomaru thought he was going to back out he was in for a big fucking surprise, because this was one matter that he was not going to roll over to the youkai about.
He couldn’t say that the thought of backing out hadn’t crossed his mind though. No, him running back into Sesshomaru’s arms had been one of the two constant thoughts swirling in his headÉthe other being to get as far away from the regal youkai as possible. His thoughts were just as conflicted as his feelings, and he chose not to trust either. No, he was just running on pure gut instinct now, and what his gut told him was that if he stayed with his mate it would cause him more painÉand that was just something he didn’t think he could take anymore of.
The village was less than a mile away now, and the silence had become too stifling to handle. It was pressing down upon him, suffocating him to the point where he thought he would surely die if it wasn’t broken. So, not being able to talk to Sesshomaru, he turned towards his only other option.
“Father, are we going to have some ceremony to welcome you home?” It was custom that whenever the lord of the western lands was away for awhile, that all the surrounding royal families would be called in to welcome him back with open arms and pretend like they actually gave a damn about his well being. The truth is some of those treacherous snakes in disguise had probably been a part of jeopardizing his well being in the first placeÉall of that false concern and friendliness really made him sick.
Giving him a knowing smile, Inutaishou humored the hanyou’s need for a conversation. “Yes Inuyasha, your stepmother has already arranged for all of the guests to start arriving tomorrow morning. The ceremony will be held that evening.”
“Am I under the impression that this ceremony will serve two purposes?” Inuyasha’s gaze shot to Sesshomaru, but as soon as their eyes met he immediately looked awayÉHe wasn’t ready to meet his mate’s eyes yet. They tended to make him do things he always seemed to regret later on. As for what he said, Inuyasha had no idea what his stepbrother was talking about, but it seemed his father did.
Giving a grim nod, Inutaishou gave Sesshomaru a look of immense disappointment. “You are correct. Lord Naraku shall also be invited to the ceremony, and from there we will assess just what it is that will be done about the treaty you were so eager to break.”
“Keh.” Inuyasha scoffed, remembering all too well the ‘arrangements’ that had been so conveniently made on his behalf. “Well it’s not like he’s even breaking it now. The mark will be gone in a few days, and as far as Naraku’s concerned I’m still in the running to be Sesshomaru’s disguarded playtoy.”
This caused Inutaishou to once more glare at his stepson, before turning pitying eyes on his son. “Inuyasha, if we led him to believe that, then by all rights we would also have to lead him to believe that you are indeed promised to him, and that is something I will not stand for. My only son will not be some whore to be bartered with, and frankly I am ashamed that you let yourself be put into that position.”
There’s really nothing that could have made him feel more shame than that statement coming from his beloved father’s mouth. It made him want to crawl under some rock and rot there for the next century.
He tried to defend himself with the excuse he had been using over and over to justify his would be actions in his head. “I thought it was the smartest move for our territoryÉour people! Who am I to be so selfish as to put so many people’s lives at risk when I could easily stop such a thing by letting some perverted demon bed me whenever he wants?”
“Enough!” Inuyasha immediately quieted with the outburst from his soon to be ex-mate, and couldn’t help but smirk in satisfaction at the steely jealous look that had passed over his face.
Unfortunately for him his father had seen the look that passed between them, and so his earlier selfless act probably didn’t seem so selfless anymore. Shaking his head, Inutaishou gave his son a disapproving look.
“Yes, and I’m sure making your stepbrother jealous had absolutely nothing to do with your decision at all.”
“None in the least.” Inuyasha cheekily replied, never once taking his eyes off of his lover’s. “Besides he should know that I’d be thinking of him the entire time Naraku was inside of me.”
If looks could kill, then staring really would be Sesshomaru’s profession. Inutaishou seemed to get the hint of the unspoken conversation, and just sighed in resignation over what he knew was going to come.
“The two of you are incorrigible. Why don’t I give you some time to talkÉthough I doubt there’ll be much talking, and I’ll run ahead and get the young Miko readyÉThat is unless you’ve changed your mind?” The youkai lord asked, and in response he got two simultaneous answers.
“Like hell!” Came from Inuyasha, whereas Sesshomaru responded with a little more dignified answer of,
“If he doesn’t do it, then I certainly will.” Inuyasha snorted. They really were the worst mates ever. If they’re connection wasn’t going to be dissolved in a matter of days he’d suggest doing something about that. His father once more gave them that accursed ‘I know something you don’t know’ look, before turning and dashing towards the village.
From the conversation that had taken place the night before Inuyasha had thought the youkai lord had been loather to the idea of them being together, and yet he had just left them alone togetherÉand being alone with Sesshomaru was never a good thing. It especially wasn’t a good thing when he was just looking for an excuse to run back into his mate’s arms.
Thankfully he didn’t need to worry about Sesshomaru ever giving him that excuse. “Your mark’s not even gone yet, and you’re already talking of letting that half-breed cretin fuck you.” A condescending smirk came to his face. “But then I shouldn’t be surprisedÉHalf-breed bastards like yourself should stick together.”
Not ever being one to just let Sesshomaru talk down to him like that, he made sure to quip back with something he knew would get under his possessive mate’s skin. “Well baby, you have nothing to worry aboutÉI’m still the good little playmate you taught me to be.” Walking over, he made sure he got within breath’s length of his lover. “I’ll pretend it’s you when I finally give myself to that worthless half-breed.”
Sesshomaru’s eyes flashed red with anger, but he managed to control his dangerous temper and settled for just a scathing remark instead of the bodily harm he probably felt Inuyasha no doubt deserved. “I get sicker and sicker the longer this relationship lasts, to think I could have ever settled for such a common whore...”
Being called a whore by both your father and your lover in less than 20 minutes of each other tends to do something to your self-esteem. Inuyasha’s ears drooped against his head as he tried to cover just how bad it hurt to be called that by the one he loved. Sadly the only way Inuyasha had ever learned to cover his feelings was through antagonism.
Getting a wicked idea in his head, Inuyasha closed the space between them, and tentavily laid his hand on the youkai’s chest, maneuvering it so that it rested just inside his kimono. He felt Sesshomaru stiffen under his touch, but thankfully he seemed to be rather curious about where the hanyou was going with this and so Inuyasha was allowed to keep his limb.
When he realized Sesshomaru was going to allow his touch he became a bit bolder and added another hand. Inuyasha had to stifle a moan as his palms slid over his mate’s smooth, warm flesh. He had a goal to accomplish, and yet he couldn’t help but give his hands a few moments to fully appreciate the wondrous being underneath his fingertips.
Inuyasha was only brought out of his trance when he remembered how this magnificent being had just so blatantly called him a whore, and his anger and rejection came back tenfold. “Oh yes, Sesshomaru, I am a whoreÉbut I was your whore.” Inuyasha gently pried the youkai’s kimono apart, placing a soft kiss on the flesh that was revealed to him. “I lived for youÉI let you do whatever you wanted to me, whenever you wanted to.”
Placing one more kiss on Sesshomaru’s perfect skin, Inuyasha’s anger flared and he lashed out with murder in his eyes. “But you destroyed me!” He screamed. “You destroyed my happiness, and so you don’t get to call me a whore!” His claws dug into that flesh he had just been admiring, digging into it as hard as he could and slashing downwards. Blood spurted as 10 claw marks marred that skin from his sternum down to his navel.
Sesshomaru howled in pain. He looked down at his bleeding chest, and then at the hanyou who had done it, the culprit that was still staring at his handy work in complete and utter shock. A menacing growl ripped through the injured youkai’s voice before he lashed out, digging into both of Inuyasha’s arms with his claws and slashing them all the way down to the wrist.
Inuyasha let out a blood curdling scream as the pain tore through him. His arms looked like someone had just slashed them to ribbons, and he realized, with some satisfaction, that Sesshomaru’s chest looked the exact same way.
Inuyasha tried to stop the bleeding on his arms by ripping the black haori he wore and quickly wrapping them around his wounds as makeshift bandages. The bastard across from him didn’t even make a move to bandage his woundsÉthere was really no point. Sesshomaru always had been able to regenerate faster than himÉthe bastard’s wounds were almost already completely healed.
“I hate you!” Inuyasha screamed. “Why won’t you let me hurt you!?” He shut his eyes, willing the tears away. He would. not. cry. He refused to ever cry on Sesshomaru’s behalf again. “I want you to feel my painÉmy sadnessÉbut you don’t! You don’t feel anything at all!” He finished dejectedly; examining his stepbrother’s face for even the slightest hint of emotionÉhe found none. No, his mate held the same cold uncaring gaze he always did.
“What would you have me say, Inuyasha?” Sesshomaru asked, never once meeting his eyes. “Would you have me grovel for forgiveness? Would have me tell you over and over again how much I love you, and beg you not to leave?” Inuyasha searched for some feeling behind those words, but he once again came up empty. Even when saying such sentiments he seemed as callous as always.
Scoffing, Inuyasha sneered at the youkai for just the assumption. “Of course not! I would never ask such a thing of you, because I know you would never mean it.”
Sesshomaru solemnly nodded. “Then this is how it has to be.” His voice was so finalÉso depressing. Inuyasha suddenly felt the weight of an overwhelming sadness settle over him. “I’m heading into the village.” Sesshomaru’s voice broke his reprieve. “Clean yourself up, and do try to compose yourself before meeting your father and me there.”
The hanyou let his mate walk past, but before he could get too far called out to him. “Sesshomaru.” The youkai turned around, and their eyes finally met. “You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
Of course he wasn’t an idiot, he knew that he couldn’t erase the memories, but he could erase the mark that bound him to the heartless youkai, and he fully intended on doing just that. He knew that he had been accused of being irrational when he was upset, but regardless of where his emotions led him, this was the choice he had to follow.
Sesshomaru meant pain, and even though it killed him to do it, he knew that if he didn’t separate himself from that pain now he would be feeling it for the rest of his life. And despite what he read about in fairytales and romance stories, sometimes love wasn’t enough.
This was destined to fail from the moment it started. Sesshomaru could give him no heirs to his father’s lands. Not to mention the fact that most of the time they could hardly stand each other. Attraction cannot be the only thing holding such a strong relationship together, or it is destined to fail. The constant deceit and lies didn’t help their chances at all either.
His eyes stung from the tears that would no longer fall. Tears were just alibis to prove that you could feel anyways, and it seemed Inuyasha no longer had that quality. He didn’t think Sesshomaru ever possessed such a weakness, and now he was as pitiless as his soon to be ex-mate.
After his father had explained that the process of disintegrating the bond would take three days, him, Sesshomaru, and Inutaishou had headed into town. The youkai lord had said they needed a priestess, and Inuyasha suggested Kikyo. Kagome’s sister would do wonders, not only because she was closest, but because he knew that his friend would make her keep her mouth shut about the entire matter.
Not a word had been said the entire walk there, but Inuyasha could still feel the holes burning into his back from Sesshomaru’s calculatable staring. It was as if the youkai were weighing the options on whether or not he would actually go through with it or not. Inuyasha snorted to himself. Well if Sesshomaru thought he was going to back out he was in for a big fucking surprise, because this was one matter that he was not going to roll over to the youkai about.
He couldn’t say that the thought of backing out hadn’t crossed his mind though. No, him running back into Sesshomaru’s arms had been one of the two constant thoughts swirling in his headÉthe other being to get as far away from the regal youkai as possible. His thoughts were just as conflicted as his feelings, and he chose not to trust either. No, he was just running on pure gut instinct now, and what his gut told him was that if he stayed with his mate it would cause him more painÉand that was just something he didn’t think he could take anymore of.
The village was less than a mile away now, and the silence had become too stifling to handle. It was pressing down upon him, suffocating him to the point where he thought he would surely die if it wasn’t broken. So, not being able to talk to Sesshomaru, he turned towards his only other option.
“Father, are we going to have some ceremony to welcome you home?” It was custom that whenever the lord of the western lands was away for awhile, that all the surrounding royal families would be called in to welcome him back with open arms and pretend like they actually gave a damn about his well being. The truth is some of those treacherous snakes in disguise had probably been a part of jeopardizing his well being in the first placeÉall of that false concern and friendliness really made him sick.
Giving him a knowing smile, Inutaishou humored the hanyou’s need for a conversation. “Yes Inuyasha, your stepmother has already arranged for all of the guests to start arriving tomorrow morning. The ceremony will be held that evening.”
“Am I under the impression that this ceremony will serve two purposes?” Inuyasha’s gaze shot to Sesshomaru, but as soon as their eyes met he immediately looked awayÉHe wasn’t ready to meet his mate’s eyes yet. They tended to make him do things he always seemed to regret later on. As for what he said, Inuyasha had no idea what his stepbrother was talking about, but it seemed his father did.
Giving a grim nod, Inutaishou gave Sesshomaru a look of immense disappointment. “You are correct. Lord Naraku shall also be invited to the ceremony, and from there we will assess just what it is that will be done about the treaty you were so eager to break.”
“Keh.” Inuyasha scoffed, remembering all too well the ‘arrangements’ that had been so conveniently made on his behalf. “Well it’s not like he’s even breaking it now. The mark will be gone in a few days, and as far as Naraku’s concerned I’m still in the running to be Sesshomaru’s disguarded playtoy.”
This caused Inutaishou to once more glare at his stepson, before turning pitying eyes on his son. “Inuyasha, if we led him to believe that, then by all rights we would also have to lead him to believe that you are indeed promised to him, and that is something I will not stand for. My only son will not be some whore to be bartered with, and frankly I am ashamed that you let yourself be put into that position.”
There’s really nothing that could have made him feel more shame than that statement coming from his beloved father’s mouth. It made him want to crawl under some rock and rot there for the next century.
He tried to defend himself with the excuse he had been using over and over to justify his would be actions in his head. “I thought it was the smartest move for our territoryÉour people! Who am I to be so selfish as to put so many people’s lives at risk when I could easily stop such a thing by letting some perverted demon bed me whenever he wants?”
“Enough!” Inuyasha immediately quieted with the outburst from his soon to be ex-mate, and couldn’t help but smirk in satisfaction at the steely jealous look that had passed over his face.
Unfortunately for him his father had seen the look that passed between them, and so his earlier selfless act probably didn’t seem so selfless anymore. Shaking his head, Inutaishou gave his son a disapproving look.
“Yes, and I’m sure making your stepbrother jealous had absolutely nothing to do with your decision at all.”
“None in the least.” Inuyasha cheekily replied, never once taking his eyes off of his lover’s. “Besides he should know that I’d be thinking of him the entire time Naraku was inside of me.”
If looks could kill, then staring really would be Sesshomaru’s profession. Inutaishou seemed to get the hint of the unspoken conversation, and just sighed in resignation over what he knew was going to come.
“The two of you are incorrigible. Why don’t I give you some time to talkÉthough I doubt there’ll be much talking, and I’ll run ahead and get the young Miko readyÉThat is unless you’ve changed your mind?” The youkai lord asked, and in response he got two simultaneous answers.
“Like hell!” Came from Inuyasha, whereas Sesshomaru responded with a little more dignified answer of,
“If he doesn’t do it, then I certainly will.” Inuyasha snorted. They really were the worst mates ever. If they’re connection wasn’t going to be dissolved in a matter of days he’d suggest doing something about that. His father once more gave them that accursed ‘I know something you don’t know’ look, before turning and dashing towards the village.
From the conversation that had taken place the night before Inuyasha had thought the youkai lord had been loather to the idea of them being together, and yet he had just left them alone togetherÉand being alone with Sesshomaru was never a good thing. It especially wasn’t a good thing when he was just looking for an excuse to run back into his mate’s arms.
Thankfully he didn’t need to worry about Sesshomaru ever giving him that excuse. “Your mark’s not even gone yet, and you’re already talking of letting that half-breed cretin fuck you.” A condescending smirk came to his face. “But then I shouldn’t be surprisedÉHalf-breed bastards like yourself should stick together.”
Not ever being one to just let Sesshomaru talk down to him like that, he made sure to quip back with something he knew would get under his possessive mate’s skin. “Well baby, you have nothing to worry aboutÉI’m still the good little playmate you taught me to be.” Walking over, he made sure he got within breath’s length of his lover. “I’ll pretend it’s you when I finally give myself to that worthless half-breed.”
Sesshomaru’s eyes flashed red with anger, but he managed to control his dangerous temper and settled for just a scathing remark instead of the bodily harm he probably felt Inuyasha no doubt deserved. “I get sicker and sicker the longer this relationship lasts, to think I could have ever settled for such a common whore...”
Being called a whore by both your father and your lover in less than 20 minutes of each other tends to do something to your self-esteem. Inuyasha’s ears drooped against his head as he tried to cover just how bad it hurt to be called that by the one he loved. Sadly the only way Inuyasha had ever learned to cover his feelings was through antagonism.
Getting a wicked idea in his head, Inuyasha closed the space between them, and tentavily laid his hand on the youkai’s chest, maneuvering it so that it rested just inside his kimono. He felt Sesshomaru stiffen under his touch, but thankfully he seemed to be rather curious about where the hanyou was going with this and so Inuyasha was allowed to keep his limb.
When he realized Sesshomaru was going to allow his touch he became a bit bolder and added another hand. Inuyasha had to stifle a moan as his palms slid over his mate’s smooth, warm flesh. He had a goal to accomplish, and yet he couldn’t help but give his hands a few moments to fully appreciate the wondrous being underneath his fingertips.
Inuyasha was only brought out of his trance when he remembered how this magnificent being had just so blatantly called him a whore, and his anger and rejection came back tenfold. “Oh yes, Sesshomaru, I am a whoreÉbut I was your whore.” Inuyasha gently pried the youkai’s kimono apart, placing a soft kiss on the flesh that was revealed to him. “I lived for youÉI let you do whatever you wanted to me, whenever you wanted to.”
Placing one more kiss on Sesshomaru’s perfect skin, Inuyasha’s anger flared and he lashed out with murder in his eyes. “But you destroyed me!” He screamed. “You destroyed my happiness, and so you don’t get to call me a whore!” His claws dug into that flesh he had just been admiring, digging into it as hard as he could and slashing downwards. Blood spurted as 10 claw marks marred that skin from his sternum down to his navel.
Sesshomaru howled in pain. He looked down at his bleeding chest, and then at the hanyou who had done it, the culprit that was still staring at his handy work in complete and utter shock. A menacing growl ripped through the injured youkai’s voice before he lashed out, digging into both of Inuyasha’s arms with his claws and slashing them all the way down to the wrist.
Inuyasha let out a blood curdling scream as the pain tore through him. His arms looked like someone had just slashed them to ribbons, and he realized, with some satisfaction, that Sesshomaru’s chest looked the exact same way.
Inuyasha tried to stop the bleeding on his arms by ripping the black haori he wore and quickly wrapping them around his wounds as makeshift bandages. The bastard across from him didn’t even make a move to bandage his woundsÉthere was really no point. Sesshomaru always had been able to regenerate faster than himÉthe bastard’s wounds were almost already completely healed.
“I hate you!” Inuyasha screamed. “Why won’t you let me hurt you!?” He shut his eyes, willing the tears away. He would. not. cry. He refused to ever cry on Sesshomaru’s behalf again. “I want you to feel my painÉmy sadnessÉbut you don’t! You don’t feel anything at all!” He finished dejectedly; examining his stepbrother’s face for even the slightest hint of emotionÉhe found none. No, his mate held the same cold uncaring gaze he always did.
“What would you have me say, Inuyasha?” Sesshomaru asked, never once meeting his eyes. “Would you have me grovel for forgiveness? Would have me tell you over and over again how much I love you, and beg you not to leave?” Inuyasha searched for some feeling behind those words, but he once again came up empty. Even when saying such sentiments he seemed as callous as always.
Scoffing, Inuyasha sneered at the youkai for just the assumption. “Of course not! I would never ask such a thing of you, because I know you would never mean it.”
Sesshomaru solemnly nodded. “Then this is how it has to be.” His voice was so finalÉso depressing. Inuyasha suddenly felt the weight of an overwhelming sadness settle over him. “I’m heading into the village.” Sesshomaru’s voice broke his reprieve. “Clean yourself up, and do try to compose yourself before meeting your father and me there.”
The hanyou let his mate walk past, but before he could get too far called out to him. “Sesshomaru.” The youkai turned around, and their eyes finally met. “You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
After a seemingly excruciating amount of time Inuyasha managed to run back to a stream, wash the blood off of his arms, and wrap them up nicely before finally making it to the hut in the village where Kagome and Kikyo lived. In truth he didn’t know why he even bothered. His father would be able to smell the blood from their fighting from a mile away, and as far as composing himselfÉwell every bit of composure he had had been lost long ago.
A foreboding air seemed to coat the place as he walked into the village where he had almost spent as much time growing up in as his own home. He always liked to see his friends, and yet now he wished he could get away without a single one noticing him. He didn’t want them to know what he was doingÉwhat he had been reduced to. He couldn’t bear the thought of seeing the same shame reflected in their eyes that was in his father’s.
In some waysÉa lot of ways, they would be worse than his father. It was to Miroku, Kagome, and Sango that he had spent hours bitching about Sesshomaru’s cold treatment. It was them that he had tackled in happiness every time his lover was nice. It was in their eyes that he always saw that knowing pity look that he hated so much. Now he knew why they had it. They probably expected something like this to happen. They probably knew how bad he was going to get hurt in the end, which was of course all the more reason he couldn’t bear the thought of running into them. He couldn’t stand proving them right.
There was another reason as wellÉa reason he was loathe to admit. He knew when he told them that they would automatically take his side, because really, who could take Sesshomaru’s side in this situation? They would come to his defense and in doing so say terrible things about his mate, and, if he knew the monk’s devious brain, more than likely think of a way to get back at him.
Despite how much he might want to do that himself, he wouldn’t let anyone else touch his mate. Hell he didn’t even want to hear the insults come from their mouths. Regardless of what he had done, Sesshomaru was his mate, and he would be damned before he ever let someone hurt him.
Following the exotic scent of his lover mixed with the scent of his lover’s blood, Inuyasha made it to the hut where he could hear his father and Sesshomaru discussing the ceremony that was going to take place the next day. That was definitely something he was not looking forward to. For one thing he could only assume that the mark on his neck would still be there, and those questions that were no doubt going to arise were not ones he in any way wanted to answer.
There was also the fact that Naraku would no doubt be at the meeting of nobles, and the thought of having to negotiate something new or declare war was not all that pleasing. If that bastard of a demon acted anything like he normally did when he was around, then he had no doubt in his mind that Sesshomaru was going to go crazy by the end of the day.
Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Inuyasha slid the tarp door to the side. He was immediately greeted by a pair of burnt orange eyes and dark chocolate eyes that were almost black. The only pair of eyes that didn’t look his way were the ones he both anticipated and dreaded at the same time. It seemed that Sesshomaru’s way of dealing with this was to just ignore him and forget he ever existed. He couldn’t say that he would have ever gone with that strategy, but it seemed to be working out just fine for his youkai lover.
“Welcome, Inuyasha. I have just had the pleasure of talking with your father, and your interestingÉguest.” Inuyasha could sense the distaste in her voice when it came to Sesshomaru. He could only assume it came from her great dislike of demons, and the fact that Kagome had mentioned something about her crushing on him before.
When he thought about it, Kagome and her sister couldn’t be more different. Where Kagome was warm and inviting, Kikyo just radiated coldness. As a matter of fact he was sure that if Kikyo didn’t hate him so bad that her and Sesshomaru would get along swimmingly. In truth he really didn’t like her all that much.
Though she was doing him a huge favor so it’s not like he could be uncivil. “Thank you, Kikyo.” He smiled politely, sinking to the floor next to his father. “I really appreciate you helping me out with this.”
She once again smiled politely. “Oh, it was no trouble. You are my sister’s best friend after all, and I would hate to see you unhappy.” Here she gave Sesshomaru a dirty look, and the protective side within the hanyou flared to life.
“Well, thanks again, but I’m not unhappy.” With that comment, Sesshomaru looked over at him, and he cursed himself under his breath for his stupidity.
Kikyo also seemed to notice his slip up. “You’re not? I was just under the impression that the reason you were here was because you were dissatisfied with your arrangement.”
“IÉIÉwell it’s complicated!” He snapped. Inuyasha really didn’t know why he was so much on the defensive, but there was just something about Kikyo’s condescending attitude that reminded him way too much of Sesshomaru, and it was a good way to lash out at his stepbrother without really having to yell at him directly. Sesshomaru could really lash out when he wanted to, and he didn’t think Kikyo would be near as well at hurting him.
“Oh, well I thought that he just broke an age-old tradition so that he could sleep with you because he knew he could cast you to the side like trash.” Inuyasha gapedÉhe was definitely wrong when thinking that Kikyo was any less vindictive than Sesshomaru himself.
He really couldn’t believe her nerve. Who the hell was she to say something like that to him about his mate? Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed a bit, but he managed to keep his cool. He wasn’t about to be near that passive aggressive.
“I don’t need to hear that shit coming from you, bitch! I came to you because I thought you would be understanding, but apparently Kagome got all the nice qualities!” He barked, practically snarling in the girl’s face. He didn’t need to hear what he already knew, and he especially didn’t need to hear it coming from some stupid judgmental slut that didn’t even know him.
His father’s hand on his arm was the only thing that stopped his tirade, and when he looked over he saw an understanding look in his eyes over his actions. This of course didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to get reprimanded about them regardless. “Inuyasha, calm yourself. We are here for a reason, and I don’t think you insulting our priestess will help you get what you want.” He paused, squeezing his arm in reassurance. “It is what you want, isn’t it?”
That question again. Why did he always have to ask him that question? It was the one that had been going over and over in his mind all day, and he couldn’t keep his firm resolve if he was constantly asked about it. Did he want to do what he was doingÉno way in hell! Did he have to do what he was doingÉ? “Yes. We have to do this.”
The miko didn’t look all that pleased about performing the ceremony after just being screamed at, but she gave the youkai lord a nod in consent. It’s not like she could say no to the ruler of the lands after all.
Sesshomaru absolutely refused to take part in this conversation; as a matter of fact he hadn’t said a single word to him since Inuyasha’s conversation ender before. The thing that Inuyasha found the most disconcerting was how his mate claimed to love him, and yet he hadn’t once told him not to do it. How was he supposed to change his mind if the one he loved didn’t even fight for him?
Inuyasha tried to catch his eye, but even if his stepbrother knew about it, he was flat out refusing to comply. So with a huff the hanyou gave up and crossing his arms in indignation turned once more back to Kikyo. “Alright so how is this gonna work?” He didn’t even try to use his polite voiceÉhis polite voice could go to hell for all he was concerned.
The girl didn’t seem all that fazed by his pissiness, and began grabbing supplies from a basket against the wall. “Well, I’ll use these to help dissolve the bond.” Here she pulled out two vials of liquid. One was a deep rosy pink, and the other an icy blue. “Then I’ll say the chant that pulls the bond you have to the surface. From then you’ll have three days where it will slowly evaporate. After those three days are up the two of you will never be able to mate again.”
Inuyasha nodded, not really caring about the details at this point. All he wanted to do was get this over with before he lost his nerve. Pulling his hair back with a piece of leather, Inuyasha ripped the bandage off from his neck, revealing the mark that had started all of this craziness.
Exposing his neck towards the miko, he couldn’t bring himself to care that he was leaving himself open like that. It was more than likely not a good idea, but he could care less at this point. “Do your worst.”
Nodding, Kikyo uncorked the first bottle, letting a ginger smell fill the air as she spread it across Inuyasha’s neck. Grabbing the blue bottle, she then turned towards Sesshomaru. “I need to put this on your mark. Will you allow it?”
Sesshomaru looked boredly at her, before once more returning to his earlier position of staring amiously at a point on the wall. Inuyasha would have laughed at his lover’s antics if the situation wasn’t so serious. He did know one thing; however, there was no way in hell Sesshomaru was going to let her touch him.
“Do you have to be the one to apply it?” He asked, hoping that the answer she gave was the one he was looking for.
“Well noÉbut.” He interrupted her before she could finish, grabbing the bottle that smiled like the ocean out of her hand.
“It’s alright. I can do it.” Crawling over towards his mate, Inuyasha made a move to grab for his neck, but at the glare Sesshomaru gave him for his audacity he hesitated. Who the hell was he to be the one to put this on the youkai’s neck? Who the hell was he to force him into this? The hand holding the bottle lowered, and he sighed in defeat.
“Inuyasha, you have to make this decision.” He turned to his father, not at all liking the demanding tone in his voice. Though when their eyes met his gaze immediately softened. “For both of your sakes son, you have to make this decision.”
His head ached as it once again tossed the question around in his brain. How could he make this decision? How could he possibly be the one to decide this about their lives?
He jumped in surprise when he felt a hand on his wrist, and he looked down to see Sesshomaru’s hand slightly touching his. When Inuyasha looked back up his lover had moved his hair to the side, conceding to let the hanyou rub the solution onto his neck. Just the sight of it turned his heart to ashes.
This was itÉthis was the beginning of the end of his life. Holding his breath, Inuyasha poured a significant amount of the light blue liquid into his palm and gently rubbed it against the mark he treasured so much on his mate’s neck. He resisted the urge to cry when, as he was rubbing, Sesshomaru leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on the back of his handÉmaking him melt all over again.
As soon as he was sure he had done his job, he pulled his hand away as if he burned and cradled it against his chest. He knew this was what he had insisted, but the more and more real this got, the more he just wanted to throw his arms around his stepbrother and call this whole thing off. He couldn’t thoughÉhe knew there was no turning back.
Getting a nod from Inutaishou, Kikyo grabbed the beads around her neck and began to chant. The words flowed like water out of her mouth, encasing Inuyasha in almost a trance like state. His eyes were getting heavy, but he could swear he saw a gold tendril come from both his and Sesshomaru’s neck and connect in the middle. He knew without even being told that it was the bond that had formed between them, and as he continued to stare at it he would have to say that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.
They were connectedÉthey were one. He was with the one he loved, and they would be together forever. As he stared in his trance like state at the beautiful connection they shared, he knew that he never wanted it to end. He felt drugged and sluggish when he tried to move, and found that his limbs were heavily sedated. As a matter of fact he couldn’t even talk. Everything began to swirl as he tried to fight his way out of his stupor. All he could see were swirls of color as the tendrils seemed to wrap around him in a golden haze.
Every memory he had ever shared with Sesshomaru flashed in his mind, making him long for his mate. He almost whined when he felt that line connecting him begin to weaken, and knew he had to stop it. He thought he screamed “No!” but even if it did, it didn’t really matter, because at the same time he had screamed, Kikyo had brought her bejeweled hand down, severing the bond between them completely.
The world stopped spinning and everything came back into focus, but Inuyasha wished that he could have stayed in his drugged stupor. Anything would have been better than what he was feeling now. It was like someone had ripped half of his soul outÉmaking him just a broken shell of what he once was. He no longer felt that inner peace of being complete and he couldn’t stop the feeling of weakness that was sent up his spine.
His head ached like no other, and when he saw the gold tendrils completely disappear in the air he couldn’t take it any longer and he fell backwards in a dead faintÉnot knowing that Sesshomaru had collapsed at the exact same moment he had.
A foreboding air seemed to coat the place as he walked into the village where he had almost spent as much time growing up in as his own home. He always liked to see his friends, and yet now he wished he could get away without a single one noticing him. He didn’t want them to know what he was doingÉwhat he had been reduced to. He couldn’t bear the thought of seeing the same shame reflected in their eyes that was in his father’s.
In some waysÉa lot of ways, they would be worse than his father. It was to Miroku, Kagome, and Sango that he had spent hours bitching about Sesshomaru’s cold treatment. It was them that he had tackled in happiness every time his lover was nice. It was in their eyes that he always saw that knowing pity look that he hated so much. Now he knew why they had it. They probably expected something like this to happen. They probably knew how bad he was going to get hurt in the end, which was of course all the more reason he couldn’t bear the thought of running into them. He couldn’t stand proving them right.
There was another reason as wellÉa reason he was loathe to admit. He knew when he told them that they would automatically take his side, because really, who could take Sesshomaru’s side in this situation? They would come to his defense and in doing so say terrible things about his mate, and, if he knew the monk’s devious brain, more than likely think of a way to get back at him.
Despite how much he might want to do that himself, he wouldn’t let anyone else touch his mate. Hell he didn’t even want to hear the insults come from their mouths. Regardless of what he had done, Sesshomaru was his mate, and he would be damned before he ever let someone hurt him.
Following the exotic scent of his lover mixed with the scent of his lover’s blood, Inuyasha made it to the hut where he could hear his father and Sesshomaru discussing the ceremony that was going to take place the next day. That was definitely something he was not looking forward to. For one thing he could only assume that the mark on his neck would still be there, and those questions that were no doubt going to arise were not ones he in any way wanted to answer.
There was also the fact that Naraku would no doubt be at the meeting of nobles, and the thought of having to negotiate something new or declare war was not all that pleasing. If that bastard of a demon acted anything like he normally did when he was around, then he had no doubt in his mind that Sesshomaru was going to go crazy by the end of the day.
Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Inuyasha slid the tarp door to the side. He was immediately greeted by a pair of burnt orange eyes and dark chocolate eyes that were almost black. The only pair of eyes that didn’t look his way were the ones he both anticipated and dreaded at the same time. It seemed that Sesshomaru’s way of dealing with this was to just ignore him and forget he ever existed. He couldn’t say that he would have ever gone with that strategy, but it seemed to be working out just fine for his youkai lover.
“Welcome, Inuyasha. I have just had the pleasure of talking with your father, and your interestingÉguest.” Inuyasha could sense the distaste in her voice when it came to Sesshomaru. He could only assume it came from her great dislike of demons, and the fact that Kagome had mentioned something about her crushing on him before.
When he thought about it, Kagome and her sister couldn’t be more different. Where Kagome was warm and inviting, Kikyo just radiated coldness. As a matter of fact he was sure that if Kikyo didn’t hate him so bad that her and Sesshomaru would get along swimmingly. In truth he really didn’t like her all that much.
Though she was doing him a huge favor so it’s not like he could be uncivil. “Thank you, Kikyo.” He smiled politely, sinking to the floor next to his father. “I really appreciate you helping me out with this.”
She once again smiled politely. “Oh, it was no trouble. You are my sister’s best friend after all, and I would hate to see you unhappy.” Here she gave Sesshomaru a dirty look, and the protective side within the hanyou flared to life.
“Well, thanks again, but I’m not unhappy.” With that comment, Sesshomaru looked over at him, and he cursed himself under his breath for his stupidity.
Kikyo also seemed to notice his slip up. “You’re not? I was just under the impression that the reason you were here was because you were dissatisfied with your arrangement.”
“IÉIÉwell it’s complicated!” He snapped. Inuyasha really didn’t know why he was so much on the defensive, but there was just something about Kikyo’s condescending attitude that reminded him way too much of Sesshomaru, and it was a good way to lash out at his stepbrother without really having to yell at him directly. Sesshomaru could really lash out when he wanted to, and he didn’t think Kikyo would be near as well at hurting him.
“Oh, well I thought that he just broke an age-old tradition so that he could sleep with you because he knew he could cast you to the side like trash.” Inuyasha gapedÉhe was definitely wrong when thinking that Kikyo was any less vindictive than Sesshomaru himself.
He really couldn’t believe her nerve. Who the hell was she to say something like that to him about his mate? Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed a bit, but he managed to keep his cool. He wasn’t about to be near that passive aggressive.
“I don’t need to hear that shit coming from you, bitch! I came to you because I thought you would be understanding, but apparently Kagome got all the nice qualities!” He barked, practically snarling in the girl’s face. He didn’t need to hear what he already knew, and he especially didn’t need to hear it coming from some stupid judgmental slut that didn’t even know him.
His father’s hand on his arm was the only thing that stopped his tirade, and when he looked over he saw an understanding look in his eyes over his actions. This of course didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to get reprimanded about them regardless. “Inuyasha, calm yourself. We are here for a reason, and I don’t think you insulting our priestess will help you get what you want.” He paused, squeezing his arm in reassurance. “It is what you want, isn’t it?”
That question again. Why did he always have to ask him that question? It was the one that had been going over and over in his mind all day, and he couldn’t keep his firm resolve if he was constantly asked about it. Did he want to do what he was doingÉno way in hell! Did he have to do what he was doingÉ? “Yes. We have to do this.”
The miko didn’t look all that pleased about performing the ceremony after just being screamed at, but she gave the youkai lord a nod in consent. It’s not like she could say no to the ruler of the lands after all.
Sesshomaru absolutely refused to take part in this conversation; as a matter of fact he hadn’t said a single word to him since Inuyasha’s conversation ender before. The thing that Inuyasha found the most disconcerting was how his mate claimed to love him, and yet he hadn’t once told him not to do it. How was he supposed to change his mind if the one he loved didn’t even fight for him?
Inuyasha tried to catch his eye, but even if his stepbrother knew about it, he was flat out refusing to comply. So with a huff the hanyou gave up and crossing his arms in indignation turned once more back to Kikyo. “Alright so how is this gonna work?” He didn’t even try to use his polite voiceÉhis polite voice could go to hell for all he was concerned.
The girl didn’t seem all that fazed by his pissiness, and began grabbing supplies from a basket against the wall. “Well, I’ll use these to help dissolve the bond.” Here she pulled out two vials of liquid. One was a deep rosy pink, and the other an icy blue. “Then I’ll say the chant that pulls the bond you have to the surface. From then you’ll have three days where it will slowly evaporate. After those three days are up the two of you will never be able to mate again.”
Inuyasha nodded, not really caring about the details at this point. All he wanted to do was get this over with before he lost his nerve. Pulling his hair back with a piece of leather, Inuyasha ripped the bandage off from his neck, revealing the mark that had started all of this craziness.
Exposing his neck towards the miko, he couldn’t bring himself to care that he was leaving himself open like that. It was more than likely not a good idea, but he could care less at this point. “Do your worst.”
Nodding, Kikyo uncorked the first bottle, letting a ginger smell fill the air as she spread it across Inuyasha’s neck. Grabbing the blue bottle, she then turned towards Sesshomaru. “I need to put this on your mark. Will you allow it?”
Sesshomaru looked boredly at her, before once more returning to his earlier position of staring amiously at a point on the wall. Inuyasha would have laughed at his lover’s antics if the situation wasn’t so serious. He did know one thing; however, there was no way in hell Sesshomaru was going to let her touch him.
“Do you have to be the one to apply it?” He asked, hoping that the answer she gave was the one he was looking for.
“Well noÉbut.” He interrupted her before she could finish, grabbing the bottle that smiled like the ocean out of her hand.
“It’s alright. I can do it.” Crawling over towards his mate, Inuyasha made a move to grab for his neck, but at the glare Sesshomaru gave him for his audacity he hesitated. Who the hell was he to be the one to put this on the youkai’s neck? Who the hell was he to force him into this? The hand holding the bottle lowered, and he sighed in defeat.
“Inuyasha, you have to make this decision.” He turned to his father, not at all liking the demanding tone in his voice. Though when their eyes met his gaze immediately softened. “For both of your sakes son, you have to make this decision.”
His head ached as it once again tossed the question around in his brain. How could he make this decision? How could he possibly be the one to decide this about their lives?
He jumped in surprise when he felt a hand on his wrist, and he looked down to see Sesshomaru’s hand slightly touching his. When Inuyasha looked back up his lover had moved his hair to the side, conceding to let the hanyou rub the solution onto his neck. Just the sight of it turned his heart to ashes.
This was itÉthis was the beginning of the end of his life. Holding his breath, Inuyasha poured a significant amount of the light blue liquid into his palm and gently rubbed it against the mark he treasured so much on his mate’s neck. He resisted the urge to cry when, as he was rubbing, Sesshomaru leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on the back of his handÉmaking him melt all over again.
As soon as he was sure he had done his job, he pulled his hand away as if he burned and cradled it against his chest. He knew this was what he had insisted, but the more and more real this got, the more he just wanted to throw his arms around his stepbrother and call this whole thing off. He couldn’t thoughÉhe knew there was no turning back.
Getting a nod from Inutaishou, Kikyo grabbed the beads around her neck and began to chant. The words flowed like water out of her mouth, encasing Inuyasha in almost a trance like state. His eyes were getting heavy, but he could swear he saw a gold tendril come from both his and Sesshomaru’s neck and connect in the middle. He knew without even being told that it was the bond that had formed between them, and as he continued to stare at it he would have to say that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.
They were connectedÉthey were one. He was with the one he loved, and they would be together forever. As he stared in his trance like state at the beautiful connection they shared, he knew that he never wanted it to end. He felt drugged and sluggish when he tried to move, and found that his limbs were heavily sedated. As a matter of fact he couldn’t even talk. Everything began to swirl as he tried to fight his way out of his stupor. All he could see were swirls of color as the tendrils seemed to wrap around him in a golden haze.
Every memory he had ever shared with Sesshomaru flashed in his mind, making him long for his mate. He almost whined when he felt that line connecting him begin to weaken, and knew he had to stop it. He thought he screamed “No!” but even if it did, it didn’t really matter, because at the same time he had screamed, Kikyo had brought her bejeweled hand down, severing the bond between them completely.
The world stopped spinning and everything came back into focus, but Inuyasha wished that he could have stayed in his drugged stupor. Anything would have been better than what he was feeling now. It was like someone had ripped half of his soul outÉmaking him just a broken shell of what he once was. He no longer felt that inner peace of being complete and he couldn’t stop the feeling of weakness that was sent up his spine.
His head ached like no other, and when he saw the gold tendrils completely disappear in the air he couldn’t take it any longer and he fell backwards in a dead faintÉnot knowing that Sesshomaru had collapsed at the exact same moment he had.
,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.
A.N- Mwhaaaaaa So seriously, how much do you guys hate me right now? First I take forever to update (which by the way really wasn't my fault...I was on the vacation/family reunion from hell) then I leave you with this...I really am evil. This chapter was so depressing! I almost ditched my plot and gave them a happy ending right then...but then again there wouldn't be any story, now would there? Oh and I have news...I'm currently working on a side story to this fic which I'm co-writing with Demitria Miriam who was kind enough to help me beta this chapter...It has to do with Sesshomaru's past and the story of his failed mating....it's gonna be exciting! But I can't release that till I get to a certain point in this story...cuz I wouldn't want to give the game away. Well alright, even if you hate me, please review my fic so that you can tell me how crappy I am lol!
Preview for next time- Balls, Roses, and new characters...oh my!
Thanks so much for reading!
Preview for next time- Balls, Roses, and new characters...oh my!
Thanks so much for reading!