InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Welcome to The Age of Un-Innocence ❯ Recoil ( Chapter 15 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: Happy Friday everyone! Who's seeing pirates tonight?! -waves hand frantically- I am! And I'm a bit too excited I think :D Anyways pirate love aside I've got an update for you much sooner than usual! See I'm not too evil right?

GinaCat: hehe hope the update wasn't too long a wait for you! Bluezinthos: haha I forgive your slacking because of your wonderful review of course! And yes I see you notice that about Kikyou hmm…I wonder if we'll be elaborating on it *wicked grin* Thanks for having faith in them, I do too! This is going to be a hard one to fix though…poor Inu hehe. Oh and congrats on your iyfg nom!! I need to finish your story pronto so I can vote for ya ;D silverwolf halfbeast: I know it is pretty messed up huh? But hey that's drama for you, gotta add some trials in every good love story :) Hope you like the update! Thanks for the review! Princess-in-Training: hehe now the question is who huh? We'll just have to wait and see! And Kagome did kind of know a bit about Inuyasha's drug connections but there's a lot more to it. Read on to find out exactly what she's most upset about :) Thanks for the reviews as always! You got two thank you's today hehe.

Eeee -huggles all reviewers- I love you all to pieces. Remember that for when you're reading this chapter eheh….JA! Laurell~

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Kagome ran blindly tears overflowing down her cheeks and flying back behind her. She didn't know where she was going as she sprinted through the people praying they wouldn't recognize her if she went fast enough. But she knew she just had to get as far away from that spot as possible.

She finally stopped gasping and clutching her side from how fast she had been moving and managed to flag down a cab. “Where do you want to go?” The driver asked looking her over strangely from how hard she was breathing and the thin layer of sweat she was covered in while still wearing a nice skirt outfit. Today was supposed to be everything, she was going to go home and pack, and then they were going to drive to the coast and eat dinner by the ocean. Kagome felt like crying all over again as she struggled to tell him where.

`Where do I want to go?' She had no idea, home would be hell, and anywhere else she could be spotted. There was no safety here, no comforting Sango's apartment to hide, or shrine to waste away in. That would be the first place they'd look for her. She gave into the inevitable, and told him her home address laying her head in her hands and silently crying harder afterwards.

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Inuyasha ran past the staring crowd pushing aside more camera men in the process. He didn't respond or even acknowledge the existence of the people screaming those god awful questions at him. “What does your father think of your drug abuse!” “Do you think your engagement with Higurashi will survive?!” This was a fucking nightmare, a worst case scenario. Oh what fresh hell now he thought looking down to find, naturally, Sesshomaru calling.

He ignored the phone getting into his car and firmly slamming the door not caring if he caught a lens or two in the process. Struggling to not hit anyone he backed out slowly then took off down the street as soon as he could. Raking his hands through his hair he thought desperately what do to next. None of this felt real, it didn't seem possible. Like a cruel joke he was the only one being kept out of.

Struggling to stay in reality, to accept this, to figure out the next step he swerved into a parking lot behind a park and shopping area. Taking a spot in the back he turned off the car not trusting himself behind the wheel at this point. He had felt more sober after half an eight ball than he did right now. Sagging into his chair he breathed steadily, his hands still shaking he light a cigarette desperate for anything to calm his nerves. His phone was still ringing in his pocket.

Looking around is when he first started to notice, nearly every TV on nearby in the shopping plaza was playing covered in their faces. The newspapers, they made the front page. All the same captions, all the same lines. “Scandal Rocks the Election” “Corruption in the Police Department” “Drugs….Kikyou….Kagome….Affair…EngagementR 21;

His head was swimming and Inuyasha wanted to sink into the earth and never come up. Why had she done this? What the fuck was Kikyou's problem?! Everything…everything was ruined and it was so beyond fixing he didn't know the first place to start. He wanted to go after Kagome but he wouldn't have known where to look or what to say. If she was on the streets somewhere he'd never find her, if she was home they wouldn't even let him close. His only hope was that Souta was with her…he could help her more than Inuyasha could ever dream to right now. She hated him…and he didn't blame her.

It felt like he was being crushed, the two lives he had worked so hard to keep separate smashed together in minutes ruining his family, her family, and them. He wished so badly to still be back at the café, to be packing for their beach trip, to be touching her just seeing her. But she was gone like she had never even existed, a cruel perfect fantasy he had dreamed up in a haze that was still too good for him.

He slumped back closing his eyes and trying to breath, trying to think of a way out of this but nothing came. There was no way, this was it, it was over.

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The entire driveway was filled with cars and cops when Kagome arrived. News crews, his campaign team and just random people were everywhere spilling out the front door and onto the lawn. The minute the cab arrived they camera's turned on her, she couldn't do this again. Scrambling for her cell phone she dialed Souta's number after the house phone went unanswered. The cab driver gave her a soft looked as she tried to ignore the cameras.

“Kagome!” He yelled the noise inside her house sounding as bad as out here.

“Souta I'm outside, I can't even get out of the cab the news crews are so bad. Please do something.”

“Of course, stay there. I'll get dad's body guards out there right now.” She hung up not allowing the tears burning her eyes to fall. Not in front of these vultures, they wouldn't get anything out of her.

She paid the cabby when the two large men Kagome recognized as her father's bodyguards for certain functions pushed the crowd back easily. The opened the door escorting the small girl between them back up inside the house where she was swept into a painfully tight hug by her mother. She was whispering reassurances but Kagome didn't hear them, she wasn't paying attention enough to.

She led her over to a couch and Kagome fell down into it effortlessly. Her father was screaming at the tons of people occupying their home and her mother was still babbling and rubbing her shoulders.

Kagome raised her knees up and placed her head down in them where it was dark and echoing of her breaths was all she could hear. She ignored all the people swarming in circles around her, asking questions, telling her the answers she was going to say. She wasn't listening; she wasn't hearing any noise at all actually. When she looked up their mouths were all moving but no sound was coming from anywhere in the room. And so she sighed and lay back further.

It wasn't going to matter now, the engagement, the politics, and her father; she just didn't care. When everything started to fade and go fuzzy and her fingers began to feel numb she was happy to give in to it all, and didn't fight it.

Souta spun around to see his sister collapse on the couch, the members of the campaign team nearby wide eyed staring down at her. Souta shoved his clipboard into another man's chest sprinting to Kagome pushing them all back and away from her. The reality of the situation finally sunk in as he stared at the living room around him. It looked more like a war zone than they're home, with all the people that had invaded setting up camp, phones going off, and technologies all buzzing as his father's weasels tried to find a way out of this situation before the election was lost. But this wasn't just about them, this was about Kagome. Her life had been seized and taken by the press, the people, the campaign and she was just going along for the ride. But he could see it, in the way she smiled, the way she spoke, how her eyes sparkled like they didn't when she first arrived. She had feelings for Inuyasha…and this had devastated her. Their engagement may not have been real, but their relationship was…

He lifted his sister up gently ignoring the crowd still insisting on speaking with him, he moved through them and up the stairs without a second glance to any of the vermin. Laying her down on her bed he shut the door behind him, effectively silencing the rooms below. That wasn't important to him, Kagome was. Walking into the bathroom he ran some water over a hand towel carrying it back into her room to dab it on her forehead hoping to wake her. Her breathing and pulse were fine so he was thankful she seemed to have just fainted.

Awkwardly he tried rubbing it over her temples and cheeks and finally her eyes twitched then fluttered open slowly.

“Souta…” She smiled in relief at his friendly face. Maybe it had all just been a bad dream?

“I'm so sorry Kagome…Stay up and out of sight. I'll try and keep them away from you…” He offered with a painful look in his eyes. She sat up her gaze low and crestfallen. It was real; it was still here, this was really happening.

“Thank you.” She said stiffly her voice etched with hurt.

“I have to go back down now. Dad's going to have a breakdown.” She looked up and nodded to him but Souta couldn't shake the feeling she hadn't seen him at all. He left quietly closing the door behind him and laying his head against it shutting his eyes tightly. How could this have all gone so wrong? For everyone?

Kagome stared into the silence of her room having not a clue what to do with herself. Should she keep crying? Call Sango and talk about it? Take a bath as if it would help anything, or maybe go downstairs and try and help? Her life felt like it had frozen, and she was lost and confused in the aftermath of an explosion.

She lay back down in her bed letting exhaustion take its toll and hoping to never wake again. Her last thought was how very empty she felt.

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Inuyasha stared up at the house that loomed in front of him. His home, he was dreading going in there with every fiber of his body. But he couldn't avoid it and he was acting immature, he knew this. But still everything was telling him not to go in there. All together he had somewhere around twenty five missed calls from everyone he could think of.

Pulling up as much courage as he could he walked up and opened the door, it was unlocked. They were probably waiting. Rin was the one to come out of the kitchen when he first walked in the door, and it hurt him to see her eyes so much like Kagome's.

“Izayoi,” She whispered and his mother joined her standing in the kitchen doorway. She wasn't wearing any make up and completely lacked the sparkle and warmth that he knew as her, she looked cold and very frail all the sudden. The two walked past him going upstairs Rin giving him a soft look while she held a hand on his mother's back. Inuyasha watched their feet disappear turning back to the kitchen, he gulped. This was not going to be fun.

Walking in his father and Sesshomaru were both seated at their oversized table. Sesshomaru's glare was piercing but his father's while smoldering was so much sadder. He had but his faith in him, he had trusted him for help, and Inuyasha had more than likely condemned him.

Inuyasha sat down staying on the edge of his seat and folded his hands on the table in front of him staring in silence. After thinking all day and the entire drive here he hadn't though of one thing to say.

“Is it true?” Sesshomaru spoke first, that bitter cold voice.

“Parts of it yes, but not everything. She's my ex-girlfriend of sorts; I don't know why she did this to me…” It sounded so pathetic, it was all so totally pathetic Inuyasha thought.

“Is it true about the drugs Inuyasha…?” His father growled his tone low and unsteady. Inuyasha opened his mouth trying to think how to word it. “Yes or no. Have you been doing and selling drugs in New York?”

“Yes.” He never expected the shame that hit him.

“You've become all that I've worked my entire life to stop then. You've disgraced your family and your father's entire lineage.”

“No it's not like that!” He said frantically trying to explain it somehow. “I'm not a bad person! I…there's a need in New York; I'm filling it nothing more. I'd never do something like that here, and it's not something I chose. It just sort of happened…It's not like here at all.”

“Who are you convincing? The place, the degree, it does not matter. You're a disappointment to our name because you carry it in all you are and what you do!” Inuyasha cringed staring at his clenched hands.

“I know ok! I know I'm just a fuck up. That's why I didn't want to come back; I didn't want to involve any of you in this. I've been clean for over a month now and that's the longest I have been for quite a while, you should know I'm trying to stop. I'm trying to restart, but it's not that simple! Not once you're in already.”

“All I hear are excuses, pitiful excuses which condone nothing.”

“You just don't get it. It's different there, morals, illegal, it's a very fine line. It's just that kind of a place and maybe that's why I went there I don't know. The world may be black and white to you but to me it's not! It's not that simple!”

“You don't know what you've done to our family. Did you stop once to think about anyone other than yourself? About all of our lives as well?”

“You've ruined father's career he has built up his entire life. Working harder than a child like you could dream to do. Giving us everything in the process, this is how you repay him?!” Sesshomaru didn't need to shout it; the words had enough power from the fury they were laced in but he did. His father held up his hand silencing him and he threw back his chair storming out.

“I'm sorry…I didn't mean for this to happen to you. I was just living my life the way I wanted to live it. There are much worse people where I'm from than me.”

“None of the things you're saying excuse your actions. I've been disappointed twice now by you, and you don't get any more chances, this is truly unforgivable. You've disrespected everything this family stands for; therefore it's clear to me what you want. You're no longer apart of this family Inuyasha.” He stood up calmly and left the table leaving Inuyasha alone there. He didn't notice how his father's hands were shaking, and couldn't of known how he had fallen to his knees once safely inside his room with Izayoi.

The weight of his words landed on Inuyasha in his quiet solitude. And he slid his hands up to cradle his heavy head in his palms blocking the world out. With each breath it felt like his ribs were cracking, like little bits of glass had found their way into his lungs and made his head swim with large ink spots in his vision.

Unsteadily he managed to stand up griping the back of the chair so hard his knuckles were white. Then he looked up to see the last thing he ever wanted to see. His mother was standing in the door way, her eyes puffy and filled with tears leaving streaks down her flawless complexion. She didn't speak…she just looked at him so sadly. Then shook her head and walked back out the doorway. Inuyasha gulped a stone hitting the bottom of his stomach and bolted into the bathroom, he felt like he was going to be sick.

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Kagome groaned waking up on her bed to her phone ringing. All the bones in her body felt like they were sagging down against her skin and gravity had become heavier. She could have sunken straight through the floor right then and it wouldn't have bothered her a bit after all she had suffered.

Tossing her head she glared at what she saw, Inuyasha's hoodie still sitting on her desk. Reaching over she snatched a handful of it fully intending to throw it across the room but stopped when she felt it. Her heart leapt up painfully into her throat and her eyes suddenly started to burn. Before she realized it she was doubled over sobbing into soft fabric that smelled so much like the man she had fallen in love with.

`I can't do this to myself, get it together Kagome.' She struggled through her cries wiping the tears off her cheeks quickly as if she could erase the presence of him in her heart just as simply. She sat the hoodie down stuffing it under the other pillow on her queen sized mattress refusing to look at it any longer. And then came the hard part, carefully she slipped her engagement ring off her finger and set it down on the desk. It made a soft click against the dark stained wood and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks unchecked.

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Inuyasha walked up the stairs in the eerily quiet home. If he didn't know any better he would have assumed it empty. He made his way down the hall; his gaze lingering on Sesshomaru's door then opened his own and closed it behind him.

Like he was in a trance he pulled out his suitcase filling it with all the things he had brought and anything he wanted to keep from his room. He didn't know why but at the last minute he grabbed all the photographs in their pretty little frames done by his mother and wrapped them carefully in a jacket on top. They would do nothing but cause him pain later, but he was deathly afraid he would someday forget their faces if he didn't bring them.

Sitting down on his bed he folded his hands behind his neck tugging it down with their weight and closed his eyes taking in deep shaky breaths. It was over, everything was over. His life was over.

The saddest part of all was what he wanted right now was just to take a hit of something, anything to dull the pain, and that's what had gotten him into this mess. And so he made the last decision he needed to. Not because it was right or wrong but because he had to. He opened up his laptop and bought a one way plane ticket to New York.

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He called himself a cab for early that morning catching the first morning flight out to his first connection in Europe. Carrying a bag over his shoulder and a suitcase in one hand he lingered in the doorway to his room taking in every detail of it. He would never be seeing it again. Then he closed it walking down the awful hallway filled with the pictures of his childhood, the same ones Kagome had seen and giggled at.

"I like your house Inuyasha...I like it a lot."

`Me too…' He wondered if the pictures with him in them would be taken down, or if his mother would cry when she saw him gone after waking soon. But he didn't have time for these thoughts, pushing his face down and swallowing against how badly his eyes were burning he walked into the foyer and prepared to leave. It was then he noticed the light coming from the kitchen. Setting down his suitcase he walked in softly to see Rin at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in her hands and a lamp next to her turned on.

“Rin.” He whispered and her eyes darted up in surprise. They weren't so wide once she recognized him and for a good minute the two only stood staring at each other. Then she stood up to walk up close to him.

“Tell my mother….I'm sorry and goodbye, won't you?” He hated the way his voice just cracked. She nodded, her eyes starting to glisten. “And I'm sorry I'll miss your wedding, congratulations, one last time.” He forced a smile and Rin started to cry sucking in a breath of air. When he started to turn away from her she grabbed his sleeve tightly and he looked back at her still shining eyes.

“I'm sorry for you. Families…they…they shouldn't be separated if they don't have to. Please take care of yourself…”

“Thanks,” He said softly and gave her a quick hug before turning away himself. Picking up his bags he walked out the front door, looking through it at the last second to see the sweet girl still crying and watching him go. `You picked a really good one Sesshomaru, now I know what you see in her.'

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When Kagome woke up again it was well into the night already but for the life of her she couldn't sleep any longer. With a groan she drug her self out of bed to take a shower hoping it would make her feel a little bit refreshed at least.

Resting her arms on the cold tile walls she let her mind go blank with the scolding hot water running down her. Promising herself she wouldn't cry anymore she just stood there feeling it but not really even getting anything out of the water. Her skin felt too slick, like it was rolling off her and not touching her at all. Or maybe she was just numb all over, she was sure anymore. Giving up she got out and wrapped a large towel around herself but didn't bother rubbing it along her skin, she wasn't even cold.

Burying her face in her hands her heavy wet hair hanging down around her Kagome struggled to think about this. She knew she wouldn't be able to avoid it forever, and she wasn't going to listen to whatever her father's campaign lackeys told her this time. It was their fault she was in this terrible mess.

`He had told you about the drugs…more or less you knew that already…But that's what makes it so awful…' If she knew for a fact that woman was telling the truth about his drug use then…she had only to assume she was telling the truth about everything else. She had no idea what his life was really about, not a clue if he had multiple girlfriends he had just ditched to come here. Kagome bit her lip when so many thoughts overwhelmed her, and over and over she kept seeing that woman's face. Kikyou…she was gorgeous. She was a super model, older than her, more beautiful than her and wealthy beyond the dreams of a simple architect.

`Of course he would be with someone like her. You knew the two of you never fit up to begin with; he was just trying to make something work because of the arrangement. We were just too different…' Kagome hurt. A hollow and terrible sort of ache that was reverberating in her chest and making her feel almost sick it was so intense.

Most of all she wanted to talk to him, she wanted to be comforted but she knew he would tell her it wasn't true. Or he'd tell her it was, and she didn't know which would be worse; him confirming it, or having to try and trust him when no one else would. Kagome just couldn't talk to him…not yet at least.

`Maybe when things calm down more.' She reassured herself, but it was empty too.

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The farther the plane got off the ground the more something gnawed at the back of Inuyasha's mind…like he was leaving something very important behind, and not just Kagome.

He ground his teeth shutting his eyes tight but opened them again with a sigh, because the only thing he could see when they were closed was her face. With every blink it was like a slide show of her, angry, beautiful, smiling, running, his mind flipping through the memories like a tattered sketchbook. But they all ended the same, with that look of pain and confusion when she looked up at the news report, and back at him, like she had become the scapegoat of a cruel joke. His mouth formed into an angry thin line, he had three flights until he got back to New York, and he had to forget her in that time, at least the best he could.

So midair unknown to the passengers around him Inuyasha rearranged himself for the second time that month. Determined to get back to the asshole he was a when he left, because that was what he needed to go back. Every bit of Kagome Higurashi was to be erased along with the softer side of him she had brought out. It was all he could do for himself now.

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A/N: *Sniffle* I'm sorry!…It was hard for me to even write this one whew. Don't worry this isn't where it ends, this is where it really picks up :] Many thanks as always to Maggz and Jade for all their help! Don't hate me guys, just remember. “No rain, no rainbows.”

Disclaimer: Inuyasha owns me