InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Welcome to The Age of Un-Innocence ❯ I'm Sorry We Do This ( Chapter 16 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

EDIT 9/15/06: The beginning of this chapter has been fixed from its original upload. A new scene is in the beginning that was meant to be loaded but due to a computer problem the original update was missing the first 2 pages. Thank you for your patience on this, I sincerely apologize for any confusion.

A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all your reviews, I loved hearing everyone's reactions to last chapter's sad events.

DarkMoonStar: Aw…that's really sweet, but I'm sorry I made you cry! And um *dodges angst question* eheh hope you like the update! Bluezinthos: karma is a bitch, Kikyou is a bitch, the two are bound to meet ;] And aww I didn't think your sentence was corny but cute! Also pretty accurate…thanks for the review! Silverwolfhalfbeast: I know it is really really sad, you wouldn't believe how difficult it was to write! *sniffs with you* But yea, I think his dad can do that. But he can also regret ;] Thanks! Princess-in-Training: AWW darling! Your review is the cutest thing ever! I love it, it's like a speech for all things love and forgiveness ;D But you do bring up a good point, Kagome has no idea about how he acts when he's not around her, thus she can't know he's changed at all and be proud of him, and now all she can do is try and figure out the truth based off the little pieces she does know. And I agree totally he's not a bad person but looking for the chance to start over, she is that chance, but he's not going to come to realize it easily. Stay optimistic sweetie, the forecast calls for angst a little bit longer…Thanks so much for such a great review! CresentMoon21: I am just making everyone cry lately ahh! I'm sorry hehe but I'm glad you like my story so much and hope you continue to! I have to warn you though, the twists have just begun :D

Also this chapter has some lyrics included at the end. If you guys are readers of mine you know I very rarely include lyrics unless the song is so perfect it practically writes the chapter itself. This is one of those cases. I highly encourage everyone to check out the song `They' by Jem, if you don't know it already. And if you want listen to it while you read, it's a great song and goes with the ending especially. It can also conveniently be found right here : www.myspace.com/jem Or just search for Jem on myspace. Thanks! Laurell~

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When Kagome awoke the next morning lazy early afternoon sun was already flooding her room. She groaned rubbing her eyes to check the time on her phone already finding it past noon. It wasn't like she had anywhere she wanted to be, but she was fairly certain she had just slept 20 of the last 24 hours. `That can't be healthy.' She mentally noted.

Sitting up with a small sigh she looked at her phone again seeing no missed calls. She frowned a bit debating but eventually sat the phone back where she had left it. He hadn't called her, and he was the one who had explaining to do. So why should she call him first?

An hour and a half later after another shower and getting dressed in a pair of comfortable flared black sweat pants and a tee Kagome had officially run out of things to do. She longed to lace up her tennis shoes and go for a jog, but the prospect of being mobbed by reporters while sweaty and looking terrible was not a great sounding option. So she peeked downstairs to see most of the house still looking like a tornado had come through but it was relatively empty. One of the large bodyguards stood by the door puffing through his black suit; he nodded to her trying to remain inconspicuous but was anything but in this house.

Kagome smiled walking downstairs. “Do you know where my family is?” She asked in formal Japanese.

“Mr. and Mrs. Higurashi are both currently out, your brother is in the study.” She nodded to him with a nervous smile and walked quickly into the study closing the door behind her.

“Hey.” A weary looking Souta greeted.

“Souta did you sleep last night? You look awful.”

“Oh sure, yea I got like four hours. I'm okay though.” She frowned sitting on the edge of her father's immense desk and got a closer look at the bags staining under his eyes.

“You need to go back to bed. What are you stressing over?”

“Dad put me in charge of handling all the calls from the company. Our investors, clients, everyone has seen the news and are panicking wanting to talk to someone.”

“That's not fair to you at all Souta!”

“No, it's much easier than what dad's doing right now to try and save the campaign. They're trying to get a hold of the Taisho's to discuss what he will be saying in the press conference tonight. The public is demanding a response and etcetera. That and his team are trying to separate the truth from fiction and see just how much we can lie about it without being proven wrong. This has gotten so ridiculously out of hand.” He muttered putting his head in his hands to sigh. “He never should have asked you to do this.”

“Hey, hey. It's okay; I'm all right aren't I? You should be worrying about yourself not me.” Kagome tried to reassure him rubbing a hand through his hair affectionately. “Please at least go take a short nap, you need it.”

He shook his head stubbornly sitting up straighter. “I'm sorry but I really can't. Thanks for your concern.” Kagome gave up knowing he wasn't going to budge and got off the desk to leave. “Kagome,” she paused and turned to look at how serious his expression looked. He reminded her so much of father in that split second. “Call Inuyasha. I'm sure he's needing you as much as you are him.” Her mouth hung open in surprise but before she could form a response the company blackberry had rung and Souta was on it.

Closing the door behind her in a type of daze she walked back upstairs and sat down at her desk fidgeting with the phone in her hands. She bit her lip lightly and before she could change her mind quickly flipped it open and pressed his name on the recent calls list.

Her heart was assaulting her ribs it felt like it was pounding so hard as each ring went unanswered. Kagome held her breath.

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“Sir, you'll need to turn your phone off now. We're getting ready to depart.” The young flight attendant smiled at him. He smiled curtly back with a quick apology fishing his cell out of his carry on bag. He had forgotten to turn it back off after his terse conversation with Miroku during a layover in Rome.

The name that blinked on the screen made his heart leap rather painfully into his throat but it quickly switched to displaying a blinked “missed call” flag. Inuyasha sighed. `Probably for the best.' He thought not convincing himself in the least. But he turned the phone off feeling the large plane start to lurch backwards leaving the gate.

`I should have called her, even just to say goodbye.' Part of him was screaming at him, but he knew he couldn't have done that. He wouldn't have been able to say goodbye to her, and it was all too fucked up to stay. That's if she would have even answered last night.

Laying his head back on the seat he shut his eyes ignoring how empty he felt inside suddenly. `This is the only option I have left. Maybe after I clear things up with Kikyou I can call her, but I'll have nothing but bad news confirming most of what Kikyou said for now. And I just can't disappoint her anymore.' He slipped his headphones on and tried to focus on falling asleep on the long flight ahead.

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`Hey, you've reached Inuyasha. Or rather you haven't. You know the drill.' Kagome quickly snapped the phone shut before it could record anything looking at it in surprise. He didn't answer? Sure he must be busy right about now, but to just not answer her call so dismissively like it wasn't important in the least? Heat rose up in her cheeks from the sudden lack of concern. `Who does he think he is? He should be the one calling to apologizing to me! Not ignoring my call!'

Flipping the phone open she angrily pressed the redial button and pressed the phone to her ear hoping he would answer so she could give him a good telling off. But this time it rolled straight to voicemail. `Did I call too soon twice?'

Faltering she pressed redial again but got the same result. `He turned his phone…off?' A mix of puzzlement and rejection settled over Kagome as she sat the phone back down again. She wasn't desperate enough to try again but wasn't denying the small hope that maybe, he was just busy, and he would call her back soon.

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It was late in the afternoon when Inuyasha still hadn't called back, and her family still wasn't home. Kagome looked out the window frustrated. Frustrated that she had been put in this situation and now was being completely left out of `the know'. Frustrated she didn't know what was happening but still couldn't leave for fear of paparazzi. Frustrated with her life up until now in general, and especially pissed that jerk Inuyasha hadn't even called her back!

She had gotten up her courage one more time to call him to find his phone still turned off, and it was only fueling the anger that was burning up through her. That's when she got an idea, if she couldn't reach him on his cell…

Creeping downstairs Kagome looked into her fathers study to find Souta still there clicking away at a Sony Laptop in front of him. “Soooutaa…” She sweetly called and he flicked his gaze up to her suspiciously.

“Yes?”

“You wouldn't happen to know the Taisho's home number would you?”

“No.” He answered a little too curtly.

“Oh come on, I know dad's got it here somewhere.” Souta sighed not liking the look Kagome had in her eyes one bit. It was eerily similar to the one his father had.

“Why do you need it?”

“Because he's not answering his phone and I'll be damned if he continues to ignore me!”

She answered lividly. Souta had an intense urge to rub his temples but relented figuring it was easier and passed her the blackberry.

“It should be there under contacts.”

Kagome fiddled with the PDA until she found the number she was looking for, snatched a pen off the desk and wrote it quickly on the palm of her hand. “Thanks a bunch Souta!” She called out the door rushing back upstairs to make the call.

Seated comfortably in the middle of her bed her heart fluttered nervously again as she entered the numbers. It rang twice before a soft voice answered.

“Rin? It's Kagome.” She said pausing to lick her lips, not entirely sure how to continue.

“Hey Kagome, how are you?” Rin asked pleasantly enough but completely lacking her usual pep.

“Oh…you know. As good as I can be.” She laughed awkwardly stumbling around the question that was right on the tip of her tongue.

“Yea…” Rin responded in a hollow way and didn't say anything else.

“Is…um, is Inuyasha there?” There was a pregnant pause and this time it was Kagome's turn to wait silently.

“No. No he's not, he left.”

“What do you mean he left?” She asked quietly.

“He went back to New York, his father asked him to leave.” Kagome didn't stifle her slight gasp; it couldn't be what she was thinking. She tried to make sense of what Rin said, but it just wasn't connecting.

“He… is he coming back?”

“No.” Kagome's heart stopped beating.

“Oh, well thank you very much.” With that she closed the phone and stared into the afternoon silence that had filled her room.

`They disowned him.' The thought repeated, circling through her mind. Here she had been throwing a tantrum like a child just because he hadn't returned her phone call to beg for her forgiveness…when she hadn't even heard him out. And now she wouldn't get the chance to, he was gone…

She felt awful, even more so than yesterday and she hadn't thought it possible. Everything Inuyasha must have been going through….feeling, leaving his home, and he was doing it alone. That was her fiancée, by social standing alone or not, and he had been there for her everyday of the last month. But she hung him out to dry the time he might have needed her the most.

Tears welled up in Kagome's eyes as she dialed his cell number again, praying he'd answer so she could try and explain herself. Funny how much difference just a few minutes could make. But it still didn't change the fact that Inuyasha's phone was still off. Or the horrible realization, she wasn't going to see him again.

She could have sprinted all the way to his house, but all she would have found was his empty room. Seen their front page photo's everywhere, but known he wasn't even in the same country as her anymore. Wrapping her arms around herself Kagome cried softly, she had never felt this alone.

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Several hours longer than he needed in such a cramped space later; Inuyasha walked solemnly through the large airport caverns filled with everyone rushing around him, all of them in a much more urgent hurry to get somewhere than he was.

He stared bleakly through the multi colored crowd that was the melting pot of America. Picking up his only suitcase, one of the last ones rotating around the carousal of luggage he walked towards the doors already anticipating what was to come.

The staggering heat hit him first as he stepped out into the greasy pavement. Inuyasha squinted his eyes staring out at the sea of cars and people; the noise overwhelming and the air thick and hot. He inhaled a long drag off a fresh cigarette before dropping and crushing the cherry under one black boot and hailing a cab. Yep, he was home.

An agonizing long cab ride later his building loomed into view, a staggering tall place he rented an overpriced loft from near the top floor. Paying the irritable man his cash and nearly handing him yen before he caught himself, Inuyasha got out of the cab and drug his suitcase out of the trunk.

“Excuse me.” Inuyasha muttered moving to shove past a large man standing in the doorway to his building when a strong hand grabbed his shoulder halting him.

“Inuyasha Taisho?” One of the now pair of men Inuyasha realized were there asked.

“Yes…” He said uncertainly. They both reached inside their coat pockets flipping open what Inuyasha recognized immediately as detective badges. He resisted the urge to gulp with all his might.

“I'm detective Morgan and this is detective Allen, we'd like to have a word with you.”

All Inuyasha wanted to do was get inside and destroy something, preferably anything related to Kikyou, find Miroku, and find a way to fix the mess that had collapsed on him today…or yesterday…he wasn't sure with the time changes anymore. Between the stress, not eating or sleeping, and the amount of flights he had just taken he was in NO mood for cops.

“Of course gentlemen, what can I do for you?” He asked pleasantly.

“Reports have been circling that you might be involved with several drug shipments that have come in recently from Atlanta; we were wondering if you could tell us anything about this?”

“Really?” He asked with mocking surprise crossing his arms. “And now where did you boys get this information?” One of them, he didn't remember which by now was scribbling down notes with a pen, he paused his writing to look up with a glare at the younger man.

“There was a news report I'm sure you're aware of. Kikyou Kotara has identified you as both a user and supplier in the area.”

“Oh I'm sorry, and what proof did she show besides opening her mouth? Because last I heard my ex girlfriend is a vindictive bitch pissed at me for breaking up with her and looking to fuck up my life in anyway possible including my new engagement.” He answered coolly keeping his tone surprisingly level all the while trying to remember if he still had any drugs up in the apartment from before he left. He had been gone too long and couldn't be sure, if they tried to search he could really be fucked here.

“So there was no truth to her report?”

“Sorry to disappoint but no, my father is the chief of police in Tokyo, do I look like the type of person who would want to be involved in drugs? You can check my record even; besides a speeding ticket from 3 years ago it's spotless.” Inuyasha ran his hand through his hair sighing heavily playing up the distress. “I haven't meant to be rude to you gentlemen but I've just gotten off a very long flight leaving an extremely upset fiancée back in Tokyo to try and work this situation out, and so far I'm not having a lot of luck.”

The two detectives paused one of them eyeing him suspiciously and Inuyasha was beyond thankful he really had been sober the last month to pull this off better. “I really would just like to go up to my apartment and get some rest; can I invite you two in?” He asked skating on the edge of the cliff and he knew it, he prayed inviting them before they decided to search could somehow deter this just incase.

“That's all right, we're sorry to have bothered you.” Pulling out his wallet he handed him a small paper card. “This is my number, if you think of anything we need to discuss call me anytime, and we'd recommend you not leave town again for awhile.”

“Sure thing.” He said through a weak smile. They nodded heading back down the steps into the humid day. Inuyasha watched them for a moment before turning and heading inside with a terse smile to the doorman.

It felt normal to be home again, after all this was the only place he could call home now. Pushing those thoughts aside he focused on the problem at hand, finding out why Kikyou had done it and how to reverse those damages. Kikyou was a beautiful girl, but a stupid one as well who should have thought twice before fucking with him.

Stepping into the elevator he hit his floor number sagging against the wall as soon as the door closed. Switching between lives that quickly couldn't be healthy and since the possibility of his apartment being searched was gone; for now at least, he debated doing some coke tonight to take the edge off and help him think about things more clearly. There was nothing left to loose after all.

He had been sober too fucking long, and it was starting to weird him out…everything about the last month was now looking at it from across the ocean again. `That wasn't me', he reminded himself again. He should have known something would come to haunt him, and Kagome wasn't right for him. Her father would figure something out, she'd be fine, and his family…they would figure something out too.

He kicked all this to the back of his thoughts shoveling it far down inside himself until it felt like a hard little rock in his gut then he swallowed, shook his head and decided. This was his life now, no looking back.

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Kagome's eyes focused in on the clock in front of her. The digital squares lighting up 9:30, the only thing visible in her dark room. She had watched them slowly changing since the phone call earlier that afternoon. Close her eyes, open them, see it was a little bit later, and repeat.

Through this of course there was everything from soft pleas at her door to pounding, they all were ignored equally. Even Souta couldn't reach her this time, and as bad as she felt about that, she just couldn't speak to anyone right now.

`He really left.'

All night it had been tearing through her. But no matter what Kagome did she couldn't wrap her mind around it. There were…so many questions. Did he just not want to see her anymore? Not care enough to even say goodbye?

`Maybe he can't even look at me, because I'm the reason he was disowned…'

Or even worse, maybe he couldn't stand to be away from Kikyou any longer. Was he rushing to her place in New York right now? Telling her `Kagome meant nothing to me! It was all an arrangement!' while ignoring her phone calls so dismissively. Was he desperate to have her back?

`He belongs with her and you know it. A beautiful and dangerous woman, the kind he can have real fun with. Not a child like you.' Her out of control mind was mocking her. `God I feel so naïve. Maybe she really will forgive him, and love him. And I'll see their beautiful smiling faces on the red carpet. Giving interviews and laughing together. Would this be left out of famous super model Kikyou Kotara's inevitable true Hollywood life story?'

Kagome didn't have the energy to cry anymore. So she sat mute with one thought above all others haunting her. `He couldn't even say goodbye…'

Throwing herself out of bed she grabbed the remote control to her TV switching it on for the distraction and noise. She scanned the channels her fear spiking as she reached the news networks and sure enough there she was. Plastered up on the screen painted up like a whore or a victim, depending on which report you saw. She recognized the various clips they were playing of her and Inuyasha standing politely at events, whispering to each other, holding hands and shots of the engagement announcement. `Such a perfect little couple,' she thought bitterly. Then they moved onto her father who had apparently released a statement earlier that evening.

`So that's what all the yelling was about…' Kagome thought whimsically. “I assure you our family including my daughter had no idea of the accusations released earlier. We have not confirmed any of these and her engagement had nothing to do with the coming elections.”

“You're such a liar.” She whispered spitefully at the screen.

“Where is your daughter now Candidate Higurashi?”

“She is recovering from this very devastating news in private, and we will be giving her as much time as she needs.” Disgusted Kagome switched off the TV regretting she had turned it on at all now. Looking out at the peaceful night sky she made a split second decision that she couldn't be in this room any longer.

Quickly she changed into a pair of running shorts and a loose tee shirt putting her hair back in a pony tail and pulling a cap down low. `Hopefully I won't get recognized like this.' She was willing to gamble it though; she had to get out of here. Even for just an hour.

Sneaking downstairs she saw one of her fathers usual body guards posted at the front door. She rolled her eyes thinking how to get past him when she remembered the garage door. Quietly she made her way to the foyer unnoticed and walked into the garage hitting the button for it to open and bolting out and under it as it still rose. By the time the guard had even run out she was two streets away and confident in her freedom.

`Ah that's better,' Kagome thought happily letting the warm summer air move across her and the feeling of doing something productive finally lighten her spirits a little bit. She ran through the residential areas up and down some of the hills trying to avoid any large groups of people, and never looking at any TV's she passed playing in windows.

“Taisho family has yet to respond…” The headline went by then was gone just as fast when she picked up her speed and couldn't listen.

She kept going, kept moving, kept just trying to get away from the people, noise, things. But this was Tokyo, and she knew that wasn't possible.

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Inuyasha opened the door to his loft, everything feeling familiar, yet so wrong. All of his things were just how he left it, he could tell even in the darkness of the room. And everything was absolutely still and silent, expect for the blinking light of messages on his phone. With one quick motion he erased all of them and unplugged the machine.

Stalking around his old apartment Inuyasha found himself feeling like a lingering soul; a ghost that hadn't learned how to move on past this horrible point in his life. Every kind of emotion, none of which he was used to was threatening to overwhelm him, but he wasn't letting it happen. And so they all conformed into a convenient outlet of rage. A rage he took out on his apartment, that he was later hoping could be directed onto Kikyou.

He hadn't even thought about what he was going to say or do when he saw her next. Figured he would just let whatever emotion he wanted take over then, because; the ever present reminder, he had nothing left to loose.

He stopped his assault on his apartment sagging to the floor when he realized he wasn't helping anything. Lying back on the cold hardwood that was offering him no comfort he dug his cell phone out of his pocket dialing Miroku's number. `He knows I'm back by now, I wonder why he hasn't called yet, and wasn't here.' He pondered while the line rang. The ringing awkwardly stopped suddenly and he waited for his voice mail to come on but it never did.

“Guess he has more important things to do.” He mumbled resuming his crucified position on the floor. But he wasn't left to his peace; or more accurate self defeating haze much longer when the tacky ring of his cell having messages came on. He stared at it in his hand as if it was threatening to bite him, but finally raised it up to his ear and called his voicemail.

His heart pounded as he wondered if it was from Kagome, if it was what it might say. Did he want it to be from her? No it would be better for it not to be, he couldn't talk to her, and why would she bother with him? His speculations came to a halt when he heard Kouga's voice and angrily snapped it shut throwing it across the room on impulse.

The phone bounced off a wall and smacked it against the floor but remained in one piece; he really didn't care by now. Despite all of his trying his thoughts were lost to Kagome once again and just how this all had come to be a horrible reality.

Who made up all the rules
We follow them like fools
Believe them to be true
Don't care to think them through

`Why did I listen to them, any of them? Kagome knew; she knew it couldn't work. That's why she didn't want to do this…'

And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

`I should have said goodbye to you Kagome…' Inuyasha stared up at his high ceiling, completely lost in everything he should have said, but couldn't have put to words if he had even tried.

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Kagome panted finally stopped when the pains in her sides were too much to ignore. Doubling over she clutched a newspaper stand for support trying to convince her shaking legs to keep moving, just a little longer of that dull lack of thought. She just wanted that silence, from even her own thoughts.

And it's ironic too
Cause what we tend to do
Is act on what they say
And then it is that way

I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

Just when she was starting to feel a little better she saw the newspaper and its headline under her and had to shut her mouth to keep her from wailing. `Why…? Why can't they just forget, just leave us alone?'

Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly know all this
Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly know all this

Tears stung her cheeks as she pushed herself away from the stand and kept running no matter how much her body was begging her to quit. She couldn't stand it anymore, that feeling of separation; of knowing he was thousands of miles away and constantly wondering if he was okay.

`How did it end up like this…?'

Do you see what I see
Why do we live like this
Is it because it's true
that ignorance is bliss

Who are they
And where are they
And how do they know all this
And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this…

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A/N: Ok a bit of a transitional chapter so if you're going `Hey why hasn't something major happened!?!' …that's why. Don't worry everyone we're getting there. Thank you to all my readers and reviewers alike! And be on the look out for an update next Friday too -oh la la- JA!

Disclaimer: Say it with me people, “Inuyasha owns me.”

Lyrics credit: Jem- `They'