InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What Are You? ❯ Chapter 31 Alternate ( Chapter 36 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter Thirty-One Alternate

Names

I spent the day walking around the garden with Rin. She was so happy that I did too, and the fresh air probably did some good, but I still had to go back inside to nap. I just got tired to easily.

After my nap, I went to find Naraku. He was outside, glaring at nothing and everything in sight. Apparently, he was still a bit irked that I had given the Sacred Jewel to Kikyou, for he was indeed glaring in the general direction of the priestess (I knew this because he was staring at one of her soul collectors off in the distance).

“You need to apologize to Rin,” I reminded him.

He sort of twitched, but said nothing.

I moved beside him. “She's by the pond right now.”

He moved only his eyes to glare at me for a moment, then resumed his hate-filled glare at the soul collector.

I was growing annoyed by his silent treatment. Was this because we didn't have sex last night? He had just been complaining about it yesterday. “If this is because we didn't have sex last night—“

“That's not it.”

“Then what is it?” I demanded.

“You,” he growled. I blinked. Me? “You've killed me, resurrected me, denied me repeatedly, neglected to tell me that you were pregnant, taken the Shikon Jewel, gave it to Kikyou, insist that you will become male, and then think that this is all perfectly acceptable and that I should just agree with that?”

I blinked slowly, taking this all in. I suppose, he really did have a lot to be angry about. All the same, though, I had promised him that I would kill him, so I was really keeping my promise. And he should be grateful that I resurrected him. All the other things, though, I presumed he had a right to be angry about. “Naraku,” I said, stepping in front of him. He turned away from me. I pulled him back around. “I'm sorry that I denied you for so long. But I needed time to realize that I wanted you with me.” This guy really harbored things. He could never just drop something, could he? And wasn't that what I really liked about him? He was listening now, anyway. I suppose we were both difficult individuals, in a lot of ways. I thought he was stubborn and infuriating, and he thought that I was stuck up and spiteful. We were probably both right. “In that time, I wasn't sure if I wanted you… with me. So, I never told you that I was pregnant.”

“And the Shikon no Tama?”

I raised an eyebrow. “You've known for quite some time now that I want to be a man; that, I should not have to explain. I gave it to Kikyou to keep you from taking it from me while I was pregnant.” And weak. Pathetically weak. I hated this.

He looked away again, a look of uncharacteristic hopelessness on his face. “You crushed all of my dreams.” I couldn't help it; I laughed. It sounded strange to me, and it was more of a quiet chuckle than a laugh. He gave me a funny look, as if I were an oddity. “Is it so funny that even you will laugh?”

“It was merely the look on your face as you spoke.” Of course, combined with the words was what made it humorous. It wouldn't have been if he had not spoken.

He rolled his eyes, as if tolerating me was some kind of great burden. “And then you expect me to be your uke. You're impossible.”

Perhaps tolerating me was a great burden. “I've thought about that,” I said, looking off at the soul collector that was slowly winding away. “And I have also decided that… You've given up a lot for me—done a lot for me lately.” I glanced at him. He was looking at me intently. “And so… You can be seme.” I turned to look at him, smirking. “But you have to apologize to Rin.”

“Where is the girl?”

“By the pond,” I repeated, a bit annoyed. At least we had come to some kind of agreement, though. It wasn't much, but I was trying now. He wouldn't tolerate me for long if I didn't yield at all.

When we found Rin, she was out on a limb—literally. There was a low tree branch over the water, and she was out near the end of it, clinging to it. It was swaying slightly with her weight. What was she doing? She was reaching toward the water for something. Ah, a toy. She was so intent on retrieving it that she had not noticed either of us yet. Apparently, she had been playing with the ball and it had rolled into the water.

“Rin, don't do that,” I said, but it was too late. She had lost her balance and fell. I leaped for her, but not fast enough. She hit the water. I went in after her. I felt a tentacle wrap around my waist. I fought against Naraku. What the hell was he doing?

He lifted me out of the water. I wiped at my eyes and looked up. He had a hold of Rin too, and also the ball. He set us down on the shore and walked forward, his tentacle slowly shrink back into his back as he did. He took the ball and kneeled down to Rin's level. She looked at him. Even after so long, she was still wary of him.

“Do you remember when I kidnapped you?” he asked, holding out the hand with the ball. Tentatively, she took it. She looked from me to Naraku.

I rested my hand on her shoulder for reassurance. “It's all right, Rin. He's not going to hurt you,” I said.

“Would you…” He glanced at me. “Could you forgive me?” He had about as much trouble saying it as I did.

She looked at me again. Slowly, her gaze shifted to Naraku once more. “If Sesshomaru-sama forgives you… Then so does Rin.”

I was glad. I knew that she would forgive him. I just wanted Naraku to say it.

The next half of this chapter is from Original Chapter Twenty-Five, this version being edited.

Even though I was getting quite obviously pregnant, I obstinately refused to wear women's clothing, despite Naraku and Chiyouta's prodding. She called me a “stubborn woman” under her breath. Naraku just sort of glared at me, which was preferable.

When the twins moved inside of me, it was uncomfortable. It was sickening, and I had absolutely no control over it, which caused me to be sick often later on in my pregnancy, which was bad news for me on two accounts. One was that I was confined to bed, and the other was that Chiyuota saw fit to give me her medications.

The old demon somehow convinced me to swallow some concoction that tasted like a combination of boiled pig liver and some kind of ghastly flower. She said it was for my morning sickness. I wasn't so sure I believed it was so much for that as it was to keep me in a semi-sedated state.

After drinking it, I noticed that I was considerably calmer and relaxed. Furthermore, I was so calm and peaceful that even Jaken's voice didn't irritate me. That was when I knew for certain that it was a sedative, but I was so far under the drug's influence that I couldn't get up to rip out Chiyouta's throat, despite my desperate desire to do so.

The old healer sought to keep me asleep at least most of the time, but I would have none of it. Instead, I dumped out her latest brew—this time a tasteless herb in a tea—outside, making sure she saw me doing so.

I turned to her. “Chiyouata, you will only give me medication when I am in need of it, and you will tell me what it is, and all of the affects it has,” I growled, all too tired of all the herbs and medicine she had been stuffing down my throat, making me breathe, and so forth.

“You are in need of constant medication,” she informed me.

I stared at her flatly for a moment. “I am not so undisciplined as to harm myself or my child foolishly, and thus do not need to be constantly sedated.”

“I am more concerned that you will overexert yourself,” she said, continuing to grind her herbs. I rolled my eyes upwards, as if beseeching divine assistance. She really didn't like that I jumped all over Naraku the second I had the opportunity, and vice versa. Was that it? “If I was certain that you would not go gallivanting around the vicinity, then I wouldn't keep you sedated.”

Ah. So that wasn't it. “Are you referring to the past week?” I asked of her. A few days prior, a demon had ventured too close for my comfort, with Rin being about, and I had immediately taken off to kill it, much to the healer's chagrin. It had somehow bypassed Naraku's barrier (he was still trying to figure out how), and I had noticed it before he did. I just assumed that it was too weak for the barrier to pay any attention to it.

“Yes,” she informed me. “Let Naraku, Aun or one of the servants handle these sorts of problems.”

I disliked that idea, and she knew it—which was exactly why I had to be put to sleep or in a daze without cease. She dumped the ground herbs in a pot with water and set it over the fire. “The servants are incompetent, and Aun is not always around.” It was true enough. Ah and Un watched over Rin when she was outside, but they were not willing to leave her side to kill the demon unless the demon was an immediate threat. Because, in my current state, I viewed everything as a threat, I did not see their point of view. I considered the servants useless outside of cooking and cleaning, and if I was going to ask for Naraku's assistance, I might as well hang myself.

She only sighed, but remained silent for a time. The water began to boil. She added something else to it. “I didn't want to tell you this, because it may worry you, but the real reason I keep you sedated is because a pup is growing weak.” I checked her eyes, making sure she wasn't lying. Chiyouta wasn't the type to lie, though. Not about something like this. “If you continue running around like a rabid dog, it will wear on your strength as well as the child's. While you recover more quickly, the child does not.” She looked at me, checking to see my reaction.

“It is only one of them, then?”

She nodded. “One is stronger than the other.” She frowned, looking at me curiously. “You do not care if one dies?”

How could she say that? Of course I cared. “They are both important to me.”

She seemed satisfied with my answer. She did something else to the boiling mixture. She stretched a rag over a bowl, using a wooden fixture to keep it in place. It reminded me of an embroidery ring. She poured the contents of the bowl over it. The liquid went through, but a sticky, brown mixture stuck to the rag. She disposed of the liquid, explaining, “The liquid is poison.” She scraped off the gooey mess. I realized that she was intent on forcing it down my throat and I began to prepare a speech of protest, then I remembered that this was for the pup. “This will restore the pup's health, but you have to eat all of it,” Chiyouta said as she scraped it into another boiling water mixture—this time the mixture was soup though. At least she wasn't intent on making me eat it as it was.

“Have you begun to think of names yet?”

“No,” I answered. Perhaps I should start doing that. What a tedious process, and kind of daunting too. There was a lot to a name. Should I choose something distinctly feminine, masculine, or give them both neutral names? What if they were both female, or both male? Should I choose two of each? Or should I choose two neutral names? I could just give them milk names until they chose their own. They could change their names if they wished, though. That didn't bother me. Why give them a milk name, then? Well, I could give them a milk name until their personalities began to develop, and then I could choose names for them based on that. Perhaps I should consult Naraku? He would be angry if I didn't, but why had he never brought it up? I had probably just been too heavily medicated lately.

I drifted off in to thought. I would choose the female first, then. Something feminine. Something if they were both female, or one was female… But I needed two names…

Maybe something similar, or with similar meanings? Hmm. But then, I worried that they may be perceived more as a unit than as individuals. No, they needed separate names with different meanings to set them apart from each other. Just because they were twins did not mean that they would be similar.

As I tried to concentrate on thinking of names, and didn't find any that I liked, I began to have second thoughts about naming them before I even knew them. I suppose, indecisive was the word. I was indecisive about everything, though, wasn't I? I may never show it, but it was true. I rarely doubted myself, but being indecisive was different. I just couldn't seem to make up my mind on things unless they were either dire or spur of the moment decisions. Once a decision was made, I stuck to it. It was coming to that conclusion that was difficult, though.

It really would be better for them as well as myself if I waited until they were born. If I just waited until their personalities developed a bit, then I could base their names more off of themselves rather than my wish for them. That seemed better.

That was how I would have wanted it, anyway. I hoped that, one day, they would just be happy with my decision.

Chiyouta smiled at me, a bowl of steaming soup in her hands. I was less than thrilled.

Author's Note:

I still need help with names. Anyone want to help with naming the twins? I can't come to any decisions.

They're going to look as follows: The boy (firstborn) is going to look just like Sesshomaru, but with Naraku's eyes, and the girl is the opposite.