InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What doesn't kill us makes us stronger? ❯ Chapter 21 ( Chapter 21 )

Kagome stood there frozen, she wanted desperately to knock on his door. She wouldn't even know what to say. She wasn't even sure why she was standing there, she just wanted to see him. That was all just to see him. To feel the safety of his presence, the unexplainable warmth of him when he was close to her. `Why I am I standing here? This is so stupid. I am standing out side Sesshomaru's door so I can what? Go in only to be near him. He'll think I'm crazy.' Kagome turned to return to her own room when the door abruptly opened. Why did he have to be so beautiful? Sesshomaru stood there looking at her, waiting for her to speak but no words came. He could hear her heart hammering fiercely in her chest. He had to question what had caused the reaction. Was it he startled her? Why would she be startled? Kagome came to his door but she had not knocked. The petite woman stood before him silently staring at him her eyes wide and sparkling and her cheeks stained from embarrassment. She confused the hell out of him and it was fascinating. She realized he knew she had been standing outside his door. She willed herself to say something, anything.

 

 

“Sesshomaru, I came to say goodnight.”

“Your heart is racing Kagome. Is there a problem?”

Her blush deepened at his words.

“I didn't want to bother you but I wanted to…say goodnight.”

Sesshomaru could tell there was more. He could be patient she would tell him when she was prepared to.

“Are you sure that is all?”

Kagome suddenly found her feet very interesting again. `Why do I always look at my feet when I'm nervous?'

“Yeah I um really should thank you for earlier you know I burned you I'm sorry and after you let my friends come and stay here and um I yeah, and thank you Sesshomaru for everything.”

He wondered how she managed to get it all out in one breath and not been winded after. He also knew she still held something back.

“Think nothing of it. You need them so they are here. Are you ready for sleep so soon Kagome? I would think you would have been eager to spend more time with your companions.”

“I was tired when I got out of the bath but when I headed to my room I found I wasn't as sleepy as I thought.”

“So you came to my door. To tell me goodnight and thank you.”

He was leading her trying to get her to say more. She wanted so desperately to tell him she wanted his company.

“Well, I said what I came to tell you so I guess I should leave you alone now.”

 

Kagome felt stupid. She had come to tell him she wanted to spend time with him. That she didn't want to be alone. That she wanted his company over that of her friends. She knew he would oblige her request. He had given her everything else she needed, but she didn't want to force him to waste time indulging her wants. He was staring at her. `That's making this harder.' Sesshomaru looked bored. In actuality, he was trying to figure out her true motive for coming to him. Sesshomaru captured her hand. Kagome jumped surprised by the action.

“Kagome do give me the honor of accompanying me on a walk.”

Her heart pounded again. He was asking her to spend time with him. He wanted to spend time with her. No, he must have known she was lonely. Her knees felt a tiny bit weak. He couldn't know. Her head couldn't wrap around the fact that Sesshomaru asked her to walk with him. She again was speechless.

“Does your silence mean you do not wish to come along?”

“Oh sorry, I mean yes. I would be honored to walk with you Sesshomaru.”

Sesshomaru felt that burn in his chest at her words `She would be honored' he liked the sound of it.

 

Sesshomaru led Kagome to the garden. It was cold at night now, he gave her his fur to keep her warm, or that is what he told himself. Every time she wore it, she returned it covered in her sweet delicate scent. He discovered her perfume to be quite intoxicating and slightly addictive. Her scent made it seem she was right there with him. He hurt when she was absent, not like a hard impact of a blow, no this was much worse. This pain was all consuming, starting with a slow burn that fills you from the inside out. How had she come to do this to him, it was madness. She had caused him to lose himself. No he was not lost she helped him find himself. Sesshomaru knew he had been able to feel compassion, Rin had shown him that. Rin had opened the door to his emotions a crack. Kagome came in and kicked it wide open. He stood no chance.

 

Kagome loved the feel of the night air on her face and the warmth provided by Sesshomaru's wrap. They did as they usually did, walking in the stillness not feeling the urge to talk much. It was so strange to not have to talk just to be able to enjoy each other's presence. He never yelled or spoke harshly, when he did have something to say it was always smooth and calm. He brought a peace to her life she never thought she'd need or want. `I want him near me?' She felt nervous about that thought. I have no right to force my feelings on him. He has done too much for me already. It wouldn't be fair to Sesshomaru to tell him I have developed feelings for him. `Feelings for Sesshomaru, no it must be hero worship or something right. That's what happens sometimes when someone saves your life right?' Kagome closed her thoughts, she would force herself to stop analyzing something that would never happen. She's just human and it's his honor that binds them nothing else. She felt unworthy of his attention.

 

They had spent over an hour in the enchanting garden before Sesshomaru led them back indoors. When they reached her door Kagome removed his fur from her shoulders and carefully handed it back to Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru opened the door to her room and let her enter first. He felt an inexplicable desire to linger. She looked at him leaning gracefully against the doorframe. The light of the torches in the hall gave his silken silver hair a sunset hue, he looked more beautiful every time she looked at him.

Sesshomaru stood straight walking over to her in his lord like strut. He was the most perfectly constructed demon she had ever seen. Every movement was elegant and powerful at the same time.

 

“Kagome, do you require anything else tonight?”

“No, thank you Sesshomaru you have been too generous already.”

“All you need to do is request it and I will obtain whatsoever you should need.”

“Sesshomaru, you have already done more than I ever could have asked for.”

“You are a very considerate and appreciative woman, it is an admirable quality.”

“You flatter me Sesshomaru, your praise is wasted on one such as me.”

He growled low and deep stepping so very close to her that mere millimeters separated them she was afraid.

She angered him, and she was sorry she hadn't meant to offend him. She tried to figure out what exactly offended him. She was confused. He could smell and feel the confusion and fear coming off her. He leaned over and breathed his words in her ear.

“I give reverence to no one. You will appreciate my words for I have never held enough respect for anyone to have ever given praise. You will not demean yourself in my presence ever again. You will not let what happened destroy you. You will see Naraku pay for his crimes. You are worthy of my esteem, you will learn to see what I have come to see. You will see your worth.”

Kagome was stunned. Sesshomaru angered by her own self-degradation. `Why?' His words coursed through her heart, he thinks I'm worthy of his praise. She realized he was moving towards her door. She immediately felt panicked. She didn't want him to go. She wanted him to stay, so much that it pained her. She didn't want to be alone in her room. She didn't want to feel the empty silence to fill her head, she just wanted to have him close to her. To chase away the emptiness and the dark that threatened her. To hear his gentle breathing, to feel his immense aura surround her like a warm blanket. She never wanted to be far from his presence ever again. Her feelings stopped abruptly at that thought. `I never want to be without him. I love him.' Stop him.

“Sesshomaru please… don't go, not yet.”

 

He walked across the room with a look in his eyes she couldn't understand. She had never seen anyone look at her like that. The look exuded a gambit of emotion. In it, there was passion, understanding, restraint, sympathy, and adoration. The intenseness of the gaze burned her to her heart. He came closer and closer until the next thing she knew his palm was cradling the back of her neck tilting her face upward, long elegant fingers tangled in her jet black hair. He leaned in his breath hot on her lips. Her body begged for him to hold her tight, in his hold all things was possible. His embrace held the promise of safety, peace, and maybe even love. Her tongue licked her bottom lip slowly out of nervousness. His eyes followed the pink appendage as it left a shiny dampness on the soft cherry blush of her lips. Honor or not he could no longer fight what she did to him. He longed to taste her lips, what would his father think. Acceptance sank in and he knew this must have been what his father felt for Inuyasha's mother. `Father I have finally found something to protect.' He gently pressed his lips to hers kissing her with all his self-control. Kagome tightened when he had grabbed her neck, but when he pressed his lips against hers every care in the world melted away. She stood in her room being kissed sweetly by someone she had once called an enemy, longing for him, loving him. Kagome felt as if she had lost her mind but that too passed quickly with the feel of his hot mouth pressed against hers. Sesshomaru pulled away from her mouth. Kagome felt sorrow by the lost of contact. She wrapped her arms around him and held him closer. She longed to speak the words she felt in her heart. She yearned to show him everything he meant to her. Sesshomaru returned her hug by sliding his hand down her back stopping at the dip just above her rear then pulling her so close her whole body pressed firmly against his. He whispered to her. “Do you know what you have done to me? I have never felt anything like this before. You make me want to protect you. This feeling what I feel for you I have come to realize what it is.” Kagome looked in his golden eyes and saw something she had never seen before, Sesshomaru looked vulnerable. “I love you, Kagome.”