InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What Friends Are For ❯ Old Times, New Worries ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

~*What Friends Are For*~

Chapter 3- Old Times, New Worries

“Good morning, Mr. Tajiiya,” Kagome said the next day. She placed the large package her mother wanted mailed in the window of the Payton post office and waited to have it weighed.

“Well, hello there, Kagome,” he replied. “Guess you’re pretty busy these days, what with getting ready for your wedding and all.”

She smiled at the elderly man who had worked at the post office for as long as she could remember. “Yes, I guess I have been.”

“Did you know young Inuyasha Sano is back in town?” he asked, his intent gaze letting her know it was no idle question.

Kagome considered lying but decided against it. “Yes, I did. He had dinner with us last night, as a matter of fact.”

“Did he now? That’s very interesting, considering you’re marrying somebody else.”

“What difference does it make?”

“Well, folks around here kinda figured that sooner of later you and that Sano boy would end up married to each other.”

“I have no idea why they would think that just because we were next door neighbors for years.”

“It’s probably because the two of you were thicker than thieves, missy. Never saw one of you when the other wasn’t right there as well.”

“That was a long time ago. We were just kids then.”

“You weren’t just kids when you went off to college together. Why, everybody knew that Inuyasha spent his first year out of high school here, just waiting for you to graduate so you could go to school together.”

“Mr. Tajiiya, Inuyasha worked for his dad after he graduated from high school. He was tired of school and wasn’t sure what he wanted to do.”

“Hmph. Figured that out quick enough when you decided to go up north to that big university to study acting, didn’t he?”

Why was she debating the issue with an old man? People were going to think whatever they wanted to think. Kagome managed a noncommittal response that seemed to appease him. After paying him, Kagome waved goodbye and went to the grocery store to pick up a few items her mother wanted. When she was ready to check out, she noticed Ayame had the shortest line of people waiting. She and Ayame had gone through high school together. As soon as Kagome began to unload her basket onto the belt, Ayame saw her.

“Kagome! Did you hear that Inuyasha is in town?”

“As a matter of fact, I did, Ayame.” Trying to forestall another interrogation, she asked. “So how are Tristan and Eri?”

“Oh, they’re fine. Tristan’s glad to be out of school for the summer. Eri’s talking and she’s a little cranky, but Mom says that’s natural. So have you seen him yet?”

“Seen who?” Kagome asked innocently.

“Inuyasha! Have you seen him since he came back?”

“Yeah. I saw him yesterday.”

“Does he look as good as he does on television?”

Better, Kagome thought. “About the same, I guess,” she said instead.

“Did he talk to you about what it’s like living in New York and being famous and everything?”

“Actually, no, he didn’t.”

“I think it’s so exciting he’s here. I hope I get to see him. Do you think his life is anything like Miroku’s?”

“I have no idea.”

Ayame giggled. “He probably wouldn’t tell you if it was.”

“Probably not,” she agreed.

“Can’t you just imagine what it’s like, being famous, knowing all the women are dreaming to wanting to make love to you?”

Kagome was saved from having to think up a reply when Ayame rang up the total for the groceries. By the time she managed to get out of the store, she was thankful her mother hadn’t thought of any other errands for her to run. If one more person brought up Inuyasha’s name today.

“Good morning, Runt. I always thought that shade of yellow made you look less sick that usual.”
Thank heaven she had a good grip on her bags. “Inuyasha! Where did you came from?”

“Why, Kagome, you never cease to amaze me. We had a discussion about the birds and the bees years ago. My how, quickly we forget.”

“You’re not funny. How long have you been lurking outside the grocery store.”

“I wasn’t lurking. I happened to see your car parked out here and decided to see if you’d like to get something cold to drink with me. That’s all.”

“I need to get these groceries home,” she explained with a certain amount of relief. Inuyasha was looking every inch the virile man in his prime, in faded jeans that fit him like a second skin and outlined his toned ass and left no doubt to his gender. The tee shirt he wore accented his well developed shoulders and chest. His silver hair, worn much longer than most of the local men’s, gleamed in the morning sunlight.

“That’s ok. I’ll follow you home and we can go in my own car.”

She closed the trunk and came around to where he was casually leaning against his car. “Not today, I have too much to do.”

“Such as?”

Kagome racked her brain. Trying to think of something. What did she usually do on Saturdays? In the summer? Not much. How about the Saturday before her wedding? Surely she had something urgent, something really vital, that could not possibly be postponed for another hour. She couldn’t think of a thing.

“Don’t you want to have a drink with me?” he asked quietly, his long bangs concealing his eyes.

Kagome hadn’t heard that note in his voice in a long time. It caught her off guard. She had heard pain, despite his attempt at lightness.

“It’s not that, Inuyasha,” she began haltingly.

“We haven’t had a chance to talk since I got home, Kagome,” he reminded her.

“Of course we have. We talked yesterday afternoon, then again last night.”

“No, we didn’t. You didn’t say a half dozen words around me yesterday.” He studied her in silence for a moment. “Are you still angry because of last night?”

Trying to ignore how close he was, she opened the car door and slid behind the steering wheel. After pulling the door shut, she looked up at him. That particular look in his eyes had always been able to sway her. And she was aware that she had overreacted to his teasing the night before. “All right,” she said. “I’ll see you at home.”

His smile let up his face and for a moment, she could only stare at him. He seemed to glow with it. With that much charisma, he was lethal to a person’s peace of mind. Or, at least, to her’s. Inuyasha followed her home and pulled into her parent’s driveway. He helped her carry the groceries into the house. “I’ll be right back,” he said. “I’ll meet you out front in a few minutes.”

Kagome hurriedly put the groceries away, found her mother working and told her that she going out with Inuyasha. “If Sesshomaru calls, tell him I’ll be home within the hour.”

Hitomi glanced at her absently. “Ok dear. Have fun.” Have fun. How often had her mother said that ti her over the years? Probably every time she had taken off with Inuyasha. Her mother never seemed to mind that they were always together.

Kagome smiled to herself as she walked through the house and out the front door, thinking about next week. Sesshomaru was going to take a week off for their honeymoon, although she had no idea where they were going. He told her it was a surprise. She really didn’t care as long as she didn’t have to compete for his attention with his law practice. For a few days, anyway, she would have him all to herself.

“There’s that wicked smile again, Runt,” Inuyasha said, and she realized that he’d already returned to his car. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think the innocent Ms. Higurashi was thinking impure thoughts about something, or somebody.”

She could feel herself blushing and cursed her fair complexion fir letting her reaction show. She knew from his grin that he hadn’t missed her blush. “What makes you so sure that I’m innocent, Yasha?” she drawled. “After all, I am 25 years old.”

“Age has nothing to do with it. You reek of innocence.” He backed out of the driveway and because she was so caught up in the conversation, Kagome didn’t notice that he had turned the opposite way from town when he got to the road.

“You don’t know everything about me,” she said. “After all, you haven’t seen me in 3 years.”

“So what? That doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping tabs on you.”

Kagome turned so that she unconsciously fell into the familiar pose she’d always used when they went anywhere in the car together- she leaned against the door and pulled one knee up on the seat so that she was facing him. He darted a lightning glance at her and returned his gaze to the country road, a slight smirk on his face.

“Your mother doesn’t know everything I do.”

“No, but yours does,” he drawled.

“Hah! Not bloody likely.” She was quiet for a moment, then asked, “Are you telling me that Mama has been writing to you?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes she just tells my mom who passes along any relevant information.”

“Which I’m sure you found very boring.”

“You might be surprised.”

They were quiet for a few minutes. Kagome watched the passing countryside without registering that they were leaving home farther and farther behind. She was too busy trying to analyze what Inuyasha was telling her.

“Then you knew all along when I started dating Sesshomaru?”

“I knew,” he agreed with a smirk.

“If that’s the case, why did you ask last night?”

“Just being polite,” he offered with a shrug.

“That’s a laugh,” Kagome muttered. “You don’t know the meaning of the word.”

“Aah, Kagome, you wound me. And I tried so hard.”

“I know how hard you tried- to be irritating and aggravating.”

“Did it work?”

“Do you think you bothered Sesshomaru with your childish remarks? He’s much to mature for that.”

“I agree. He’s old enough to be your father.”

“He is not! He’s only 14 years older than I am,” Kagome responded heatedly.

“Does he have any children?” Inuyasha asked with polite interest.

“Since he’s never been married, I rather doubt it,” she replied in a tone heavily laced with sarcasm.

“Or if he does, he probably doesn’t talk about it,” Inuyasha added agreeably.

“Inuyasha!”

“Sorry,” he said with a grin, neither looking nor sounding sorry at all. “So why is he getting married now?”

Kagome could feel her temper rising which only added to her irritation. How was it that Inuyasha could set her off so quickly with his idiotic remarks? “You really are being insulting,” she said, her eyes frosty with disdain.

“Well, of course he loves you, Kagome,” Inuyasha assured her. “Who wouldn’t? I just wonder what other reasons such a logical and analytical person might find to choose you for his mate, particularly since he’s waited this long to marry.”

Who wouldn’t? Kagome’s mind repeated in surprise. Was it possible that Inuyasha actually intended to pay her a compliment. “What other reasons could he have?” she asked, curious about his line of thinking.

“Oh, there are all kinds of reasons to get married. Maybe he’s tired of living alone. Maybe he wants a family, a hostess. Maybe he’s marrying you for your money. . .”

“That’s a pretty vivid imagination you have. Do you write those stories as well as act in them?”

“There’s nothing imaginative in any of that. It happens all of the time.”

“You must have been in New York too long. It doesn’t happen in small towns. At least, not with me, it doesn’t. I doubt my teacher’s salary attracts him. After all, he’s a very successful lawyer.”

“Then why did he move to Payton?”

Kagome relaxed a little bit more, watching Inuyasha’s profile. “Why not? It’s a nice place to live, even though you found you dull.”

“I never found it dull,” he pointed out. “I just wanted to be a professional actor, and Payton doesn’t have many job openings in that field.” he glanced at her and grinned when he saw that she was twisting a strand around one of her fingers. She only did that when she was agitated. Good. At least he had her thinking. “Besides,” he went on blandly, “I wasn’t talking about what you make. You’re an only child and your family is very well off.”

“So what? I’m not going to be inheriting anything for years, and you know it. Mom and Dad are still in their forties.”

“I know. They got married very young and they made it work but it was tough, which is why they’re against teenage marriages.”

Kagome looked at him in surprise. “How do you know that?” she asked.

“Never mind,” he replied. “So if he isn’t interested in your money, Sesshomaru must want want you to play hostess for him and preside over his home.”

“So? What’s wrong with that?” she asked, puzzled by his tone.

“Oh, Kaggie, that isn’t you. You’ve got too much vitality and sparkle for that kind of live. If you would just be honest with yourself, you’d admit you’re already bored with teaching. How do you think you’re going to feel being a doormat for a man who could pass as your father?”

“Would you stop with that stupid remark about Sesshomaru’s age? In the first place, he doesn’t even look that old. You must have noticed that he looks a little like you- same hair and eye color, similar build.”

He grinned. “Is that why you fell for him? Because he reminded you of me?”

She recoiled from him in horror. “Of course not! He’s absolutely nothing like you, thank God! He’s calm, and sensitive.”

“You don’t have to sound so thankful. I didn’t turn out all that bad, did I?”

She heard the pain in his voice and wondered about it. Inuyasha was too self-confident to be easily offended. Yet twice today, she heard a hesitancy in his voice as though he were unsure of himself.

“You’re living life the way you want to. I can’t fault you for that.”

“Yes, I am. But sweetie, are you living your life the way you want to?”

She glanced at him, puzzled. “That’s the second time you made a remark like that. I am not bored with teaching. I am very content with my life.” she studied him for a moment in silence, then asked, “And why should you care what I do or how I feel, anyway?”

“Come on, Kagome. I have always looked out for you and cared for you, ever since we were little kids.” He gave her a quick glance from the corner of his eye and smiled. “Why should I stop now?”

She was not going to let that statement go unchallenged. “Yet you could hardly wait to leave here when you finished college.”

He was quiet for a moment. He heard the hurt in her voice. Smelled the salt of the tears she was fighting to hold back and realized once again what a fine actress she was. Until now, he had never realized that she had cared when he’d decided to go to New York. An interesting discovery, considering how he’d felt when she had greeted his news by wishing him well.

“You could have come with me,” he said finally.

The interior of the car seemed to pulse with sudden emotion. The silence that fell between them seemed to grow like a living thing, until Inuyasha felt he could reach out and touch it. Whatever she was feeling, it wasn’t indifference; that he knew. He wished he’d had this conversation with her then, instead of now. He’s wished that everyday of his lonely, pathetic, miserable shell of a life. He’d paid for his cowardice everyday.

When she did speak, her anger surprised him. “Of course I could have gone, baka. We would have starved together! Why would I have wanted to go to New York? I was twenty-two years old. It was time for us to grow up, accept responsibility, make something of ourselves. Playtime was over. . . at least it was for me,” she muttered under her breath.

As usual, his sensitive ears picked up everything. “Is that all that acting was to you, Kagome. Playtime?”

She laughed, but she didn’t sound in the least amused. “Well, it certainly isn’t a way to make a living.”

“I haven’t done so badly at it.”

Kagome felt a sudden urge to hit something, she was so frustrated. Who was she kidding, anyway? Why didn’t she just admit the truth. “Actually,” she said, wishing her voice didn’t sound quite so uneven, “the biggest reason I didn’t go with you to New York was simple. You never asked me.” There. She’d finally said it, spoken the words out loud. She finally faced them for the first time.

“Would you have gone?” he asked in a deceptively neutral tone.

Who knew the answer to that at this late date? The whole point was he hadn’t asked. He hadn’t even acted as though he’d given such an idea a thought. And Kagome had been faced with the harsh reality of their shared life. At one time Inuyasha Sano had been everything in the world to her while he had considered her a friend- his buddy, a pal. “It hardly matters at this point, does it?” she asked, staring unseeingly out the window.

“Have you ever thought about trying to make it as an actress?” he asked.

“Not for years, Inuyasha. I’m content with my life.”

“You keep saying that, but I’m not sure which one of us you’re trying to convince. You were always such a natural on stage, you know. You. . . baby, you came alive. It was a beautiful thing to see.” He glanced at her, but she had her head down and he couldn’t see her expression. “Don’t you miss it?”

“Not really. I’m active with the local group and I directed the high school play this year.”

“When you could be starring on Broadway? ‘Gome, that’s a waste of fucking talent and you know it.”

Once again she made no response.

Forcing a lighter tone, Inuyasha asked, “What does Sesshy think of your acting abilities?”

“He’s never seen them,” she muttered.

“But he knows about them, right?” he pushed.

Kagome rested her head against the window. “He knows I’ve been training in that area and assumes I minored in drama while I was getting my degree in education.”

“Why haven’t you told him? Shown him your clippings and reviews?”

She shrugged. “There’s no reason to. That’s just part of my past.”

Inuyasha wondered if he was too late. Was it even his place to attempt to save her? Obviously she didn’t see herself as needing saving. She had chosen not only the man, but an entire way of life, and she was within days of cementing that relationship. How could he let her do such a thing? Yet how could he, in good conscience, interfere of that was what she wanted? He loved her. He had always loved her. He would always love her. And he wanted her to be happy. For years, he had hoped that her happiness would lie with him. He’d listened to both sets of parents as they had urged him not to rush into a permanent relationship too early in their lives. They had insisted that each of them needed some space, a chance to mature separately, in order to recognize their own feelings.

So he had taken their advice. Because of it, he had lost Kagome. He had wanted to be fair, and to do what was best for both of them. Instead, he had lost the only woman what had meant a damn to him. But even in his worst nightmares it never occurred to him that Kagome would turn into this woman who was willing to accept so little in her life. Now that Inuyasha had brought up his move to New York, the past began to tumble into Kagome’s mind like a tower of building blocks in a strong wind. They fell in a colorful disarray around her. The man at the post office had been right. She and Inuyasha had been inseparable as far back as she could remember. Had anyone asked her back then, Kagome would have probably have said that she and Inuyasha would marry someday.

Strange how things had worked out. She and Inuyasha had never talked about their feelings for each other. There had been a reason to. They were so much a part of each other’s life, until Inuyasha announced his intention to go to New York. Kagome could still remember the day he told her. They had been home from college a week and had take his family’s boat out on the lake. The day had been warm and they had found a quiet spot to anchor and chill in the sun. Kagome had been almost asleep when Inuyasha spoke.

“Have you decided what you want to do now that we’re out of school, Runt?”
“I’m doing it,” she replied in a sleepy voice.

“I mean. To earn a living?”

“I filled out an application to teach. I guess I’ll wait to hear from the school board. Why? Whatcha doing?”

He was silent so long that Kagome eventually opened her eyes. He had turned so that he was facing her, and she found herself staring into his amber eyes. “I’ve decided to go to New York.”

She smiled because they had talked about New York for the past year. “To become rich and famous?” she asked with a grin.

“I won’t know until I try,” he answered in a quiet tone.

Kagome smile slowly disappeared. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” she asked, and even now she could recall the sudden jolt to her system as the fear of losing him swept over her.

“Keh.”

“Are you?” she asked, her voice shrill with rising panic.

“Yes,” he said resignedly.

Kagome never knew how she managed to get through that day. She’d fought hard to hide her reaction. Somehow it had been important for her not to let him know how devastated she felt. If he could so calmly plan his life apart from her, then she must not mean as much to him as he meant to her. She determinedly hung to her pride. Kagome had kept the act of well wishing friend until Inuyasha left home. Only then did the true enormity of what had happened sweep over her. Inuyasha had walked out of Kagome’s life without a glance back. He didn’t need her to make his life complete like she did. Kagome had never known such rejection, nor did she knew how to deal with it.

As the months went by, Kagome mentally packed away all of their shared memories with grim determination. Obtaining the teaching position had been her salvation. She threw herself into the new experiences of teaching and interacting with her students. Kagome learned to hide her thoughts and feelings from others, relieved to discover after a while that her highly charged emotions seemed to disappear.

When Sesshomaru came into her life, she was content. He filled a place in her daily routine. He offered companionship and conversation, all she really wanted in a relationship. Kagome had overcome the pain and desolation she had felt when Inuyasha had left. She’d forgotten, until now, what a hole he’d left in her life. Kagome knew she could never allow anyone to become so important to her again.

As they continued following the country road, Kagome slowly became aware of their surroundings. They had been steadily winding through the rolling hills for miles, she realized with dismay. Inuyasha turned into the entrance of a state park and followed the road towards the bluff where they had spent countless hours as children.

“What are we doing her?” she demanded. “I thought we were going to get a drink.”

Inuyasha laughed. “Puny humans and their tendency to get lost and be stupid. I wondered when you were going to notice.”

Kagome snarled. “Stupid hanyous and their pushyness. I don’t have time to be out here. I’ve got to go home. I told Mother I be back by-” she glanced at her watch “-by NOW! Oh, holy shit!”

“Keh, so you’re late. Big Fucking Deal. She knows you’re with me. I thought it might be fun to come out her again. I haven’t been to the park in years. I threw some chips in a bag and brought some soda. Look, chill with me her and enjoy the scenery. I promise I’ll take you back home whenever you say.”

“Why is it I’ve never trusted you when you’ve used that tone of voice?”

“I have no idea. Everyone else always has.”

“I know. But no one else knows you the way I do.”

“Good point, Kagome. You might want to think about just what that means to both of us. It could surprise you.”