InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What Matters the Most ❯ Shattering To Pieces ( Chapter 23 )

A\N: *phew* this is a long one folks! Okay, maybe not as long as some others, but it’s still a long one, and I am not thoroughly and completely exhausted, so I hope you enjoy it cause I don’t know when I’ll get another one out.

Also, in the last chapter I was talking a bit about tails, and, now that I’ve given it a bit more consideration, I don’t think Kouga’s tail is real. I mean, he doesn’t actually move it around and it does appear to be attached to his waist. What’s more none of the other wolf demons that I saw had a tail. Of course, none of them have long black ponytails either, but...

Anyway, in this chapter we’ve got a bit more angst to spread around between our two fav Inu’s, and lots of reviews for me to answer, so lets get started on that:

-Crazy-Inuyasha-Girl - Ah-- now that would be telling wouldn’t it? I can’t say right now, though almost everyone seems against them being Naraku’s. It makes it all the more tempting to make them his-- I mean, think of the angst I could put Sess and Inu through! ^_^

-AnimeRainChildOfLove - Lol, thanks! I’ll be sure to have those on there, and it’s nice that you’re actually taking this poll seriously. It’s really actually quite important, or I might go off and name them something really stupid that people won’t like. Anyway... ^_^ yeah, I’m trying to catch people off guard. I’ve got something planned for a couple of other characters, but I don’t think I’m gonna be getting to it for a while... this fic’s gonna be a long one, I can tell you that much...

Okay, I’m gonna stop now or the beginning and ending A\N’s will be as long as the story itself.

VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER - *sighs* still don’t own Inuyasha. Still don’t make any money off of him. Still don’t want you to sue me.

Also, thanks to everyone who read “Forever Can’t Last” -- it just goes to show that I can write a fic without a rape in it...   ~*~   Shattering To Pieces

Sesshomaru stared intently at Inuyasha.

His brother. His lover. His mate.

And Inuyasha stared back at him, his golden eyes wide, and the brows drawn up and in at the centre in confusion and distress. He looked so terribly lost to Sesshomaru-- something that the youkai had not been entirely expecting. He had expected Inuyasha to be panicked, traumitized, and broken... not just sitting there like he was numb, his eyes distressed and lost. And, for some reason, it bugged Sesshomaru. Not in an annoying sort of way, but it nagged at Sesshomaru, telling him that something was still not quite right here.

‘Inuyasha?’ He asked softly, and Inuyasha turned slightly to look at him, his gaze confused and hurt, but not broken.

‘Sesshomaru...’ he said quietly ‘I don’t... remember.’ He blinked, washing away the translucent pearls of tears as he looked away from his mate.

Sesshomaru stared at him a moment, and then the words he had just said finally sank in, and he frowned slightly. ‘Nothing at all?’ He asked, and Inuyasha’s ears twitched toward the sound of his voice, his eyes shifting in their sockets a little, but he did not look up at his brother.

‘No.’ He said quietly. ‘Nothing... except...’ he trailed off, and Sesshomaru’s ears perked up slightly as he waited in an almost eager fashion to hear what his brother remembered.

He was slightly disappointed when Inuyasha said ‘Miasma.’ quietly, and still refused to look at him, even as his eyes narrowed slightly in concentration. ‘It was foul and it was all around me... I couldn’t breathe...’ He trailed off again, and Sesshomaru stared at him in concern, because he could feel some sort of... emotion... not unlike panic beginning to rise in his mate.

‘Inuyasha?’ He called softly again, but Inuyasha was no longer in a place where he could hear him.

The hanyou’s vision had blurred and narrowed down to nothing more than a faint and narrow spec of light in the distance as his mind raced and whirled around him.

Pain.

He remembered pain.

And voices. Faint, and terrifying, and raining down on him with insanity.

“Naraku... onegai... please stop!”

Inuyasha’s eyes widened impossibly as his ears crushed against his head, disappearing into his hair as he tried to block out the sound of his own voice begging... for a mercy he knew would not be given. And a short distance from him, Sesshomaru stared on in horror and fascination, unsure what to do, as his brother’s pupils dilated to the maximum, almost blocking out all traces of gold, and the hanyou began to rock slightly back and forth, his distress radiating off of him in waves.

And Sesshomaru wanted to do something to help him-- to pull his mate back from whatever terror had sunk it’s claws into him-- but he didn’t know how to do it-- didn’t know if it would just be better to leave Inuyasha to deal with it... leave him to remember when it was so obviously smashing at his already cracked surface, threatening to break and shatter his brother entirely.

Inuyasha’s youkai was distantly aware of it’s mate’s turmoil, but he could do nothing to respond to it, too caught up inside his own broken terrifying torture to even begin considering reacting to it.

Screaming.

He could hear screaming.

It hurt his ears, and it was so full of unimaginable pain and agony-- desperation-- and the sound tore at him the way no other sound ever had, ripping him and threatening to break him inside, and he crushed his ears even further against his head, silently begging for it to ‘stop... please just stop!’

It was only when he heard the strange, yet sickeningly familiar voice saying “Yes, Inuyasha, scream. Scream for me like you did for your brother!” That he realised the screams were coming from him...

Sesshomaru watched on in horror as another of those long, low keening noises he was coming to hate so much-- the ones so full of pain and distress that no living thing should be able to make it-- escaped his brother’s lips as Inuyasha began to tremble in the clutches of whatever nightmare had taken hold of him.

A hint of fear that Sesshomaru was grudgingly becoming accustomed to feeling raced through him, and he leaned forward slightly toward his brother, deciding that it was time to draw his brother back into the world of the living, back out of this terrifying memory... back to him.

‘Inuyasha.’ He said quietly, and Inuyasha’s body jerked slightly, a small whimper escaping his lips as his body began rocking faster and he struggled violently against the nightmare he was trapped in... but to no avail.

Tentacles.

There were tentacles, long, and brown, and horridly snake like, holding him. Grasping him. Restraining him. Touching him. He could feel his mate calling him, trying to draw him back, and he whimpered quietly, not wanting to draw the attention of the nightmare, but silently begging his mate to hear him. Begging Sesshomaru to, please, come rescue him.

“Come for me, Inuyasha.” That voice hissed dangerously close and surprisingly real next to his ear, and he jerked his head slightly, trying desperately to get away, well in the distance a faint but familiar voice called to him. ‘Inuyasha.’ It was far away and faded, and he only heard it a moment before it was cut off by the other. “Give yourself fully to me.”

‘INUYASHA!’

Sesshomrau’s voice echoed around in his mind as he was suddenly and violently yanked around by the shoulders.

Inuyasha jerked back, away from that confining grip, his eyes sliding into focus again, locking with the golden havens of his brother’s, and Inuyasha blinked in confusion. He had expected to see cold and cruel crimson staring back at him, not soft molten gold, narrowed and full of concern for his well-being.

Sesshomaru, realising that his brother was finally back to himself, relaxed his grip slightly on Inuyasha, but did not let go: He did not want Inuyasha to pull away from him again-- did not want him to be afraid of him. Not when he was working so hard to bring him back..

‘Sesshomaru...?’ Inuyasha’s tentative voice reached his ears after a moment, bringing him back from his silent internal raging to stare at Inuyasha, who was blinking rapidly up at him in confusion.

‘Inuyasha, what happened?’ He asked slowly, cautiously, not wanting to further upset his brother, but knowing he had to know. He needed to know so that he would be able to fully heal Inuyasha of all the wounds Naraku had inflicted upon him. Needed to know so that he could make Naraku suffer them tenfold. Needed to know so he could prevent them from happening ever again.

Inuyasha stared up at him, his eyes going slightly unfocused and wild again, his breathing speeding up erratically, and just when Sesshomaru was about to question him (or shake him like a rat-- whichever was the best way to stop this seemingly sudden attack) he found himself with a lapful of Inuyasha (who had thrown himself across the futon at his brother, unsettling Sesshomaru and very nearly sending both youkai tumbling to the ground as he effectively knocked the breath from his brother), who sat there tense and still, his claws poised on his should and chest-- ready to dig into the fabric beneath, but holding back-- as though he was waiting for something. And Sesshomaru found out what that something was a moment later when he slowly, tentatively, driven by his youkai in the desire to comfort his mate, brought his arms up to wrap loosely around his brother.

A low keening sound escaped his brother, and Inuyasha fell the few remaining inches against him, burying his head in a still fairly stunned Sesshomaru’s chest, hands fisting themselves in his kimono as he clung desperately to his brother, determined to never, ever let him go.

And he might have followed through with that plan, had that silky voice not echoed in his mind again a moment later.

“Come for me, Inuyasha.” Naraku’s voice said in his head, and Inuyasha sobbed and clung tighter to his brother.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said, his voice a weak, choked whisper that barely reached Sesshomaru’s ears, and Sesshomaru looked down at Inuyasha’s silver-crested head in confusion. ‘I’m so sorry, Sesshomaru.’ He muttered. ‘I swear I didn’t mean to.’

‘Didn’t mean to?’ Sesshomaru thought, frowning at his brother (once again conveniently forgetting the fact that he did not show facial expression), as he said ‘Inuyasha, what in all the seven hells are you talking about?’

“You make a good whore, though. I can understand why your brother used you.” That voice said, nearly blocking out Sesshomaru’s own, and Inuyasha tensed slightly in the arms wrapped around him, swallowing the bile and mucus that had taken up residence in his throat in a rather nauseating mixture as that voice echoed it’s taunting song in his head.

“That’s all he wants you for, you know. Not that he will want you now.”

A violently shudder ran through Inuyasha as he suddenly and savagely pulled away, reeling back with enough force to break his startled brother’s grasp, and tumbling gracelessly down to the floor, wincing and yelping slightly as he landed painfully on his sore ass, his stomach giving a strange quivering sort of jerk of disapproval.

Quickly he scrambled back, away from Sesshomaru, who had, by now, risen to his feet and was slowly drawing toward the distressed looking hanyou.

Inuyasha’s back unceremoniously met the wall, and he glanced fearfully around for some sort of an escape, before letting his eyes come to rest on the startled and concerned looking Sesshomaru.

‘Inuyasha, are you alrigh--’ Sesshomaru had begun to ask as he approached his brother, but was cut off as the hanyou trembled, flailing a hand that had earlier been shorn of it’s claws (though they were quite obviously present now) and shouted out ‘Stay away from me!’ With enough hurt and desperation to make Sesshomaru feel it, and come to a halt a few feet away from his distressed mate, deciding, at least for the moment, that it would be best to give Inuyasha his space and keep his distance until he could calm his frightened sibling down.

‘Inuyasha.’ He said, watching as his brother tensed and looked up enough to not-quite meet his eyes. Sesshomaru frowned slightly, again forgetting that he didn’t show expression, as he said ‘Inuyasha, what is wrong?’ He was tempted to add “with you” but decided it would be safest not to. It might just further upset the hanyou.

Inuyasha bit his lip, still refusing to meet his eyes, and then quietly said ‘You don’t want me anymore.’

Sesshomaru blinked, convinced he had hear wrong, while inside him his youkai shrilled and thrashed with indignant protests. ‘Nani?’ He asked, because what else was he supposed to say? His marked, claimed and bonded mate had just told him that he no longer wanted him. What kind of foolery was this?

However, judging by the dark look Inuyasha shot him, it was no “foolery” in the hanyou’s mind at all, but a deadly serious accusation, and Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at his younger brother, falling back into his old block of ice mode as he waited for Inuyasha to explain.

‘You don’t want me anymore!’ The hanyou near-shouted at him, tearing his already injured vocal chords. ‘I’m tainted Sesshomaru! Don’t you get it? I’m fucking dirty now!’ He said, tears filling his eyes as Sesshomaru stared down at him with not-quite widened eyes.

‘He’s contaminated me, Sesshomaru.’ Inuyasha said in a softer tone. ‘He touched me. Everywhere. And I... I couldn’t stop myself...’ He looked up at Sesshomaru, eyes wide, tearful, and desperate, and now the brokenness he had been searching for was finally present in them. ‘I came, Sesshomaru.’ He said quietly, his voice sinking down to a weak, near-whispering tremor that sounded in Sesshomaru’s ears like lightening cracking against the earth as he finally comprehended exactly what was going on.

‘I’m no longer worthy of you.’ Inuyasha finished, bowing his head and looking away from Sesshomaru, and this statement, more than any other, stunned Sesshomaru. For years on end he had been trying to no avail to get the hanyou to realise this fact, and now that Inuyasha was finally saying it was the time when he was most broken and velnerable, the time when Sesshomaru no longer wanted him to realise it. Because it wasn’t true...‘Inuyasha, what poisons has he filled your mind with?’ Sesshomaru wondered as he stared down at the crest of Inuyasha’s head that was currently turned to him, used as a shield to block Sesshomaru’s gaze from landing on the hanyou’s face.

He must have been silent too long, because Inuyasha suddenly spoke again, still in that faint, trembling voice, that still hit Sesshomaru like thunder. ‘So you see now.’ Inuyasha said, without looking up from the haven of his arms and knees. ‘You can’t love me anymore Sesshomaru. Not after I contaminated myself this way...’

He trailed off, and the silence quickly moved to dominate the room as Sesshomaru stared at Inuyasha, unable to move from the shocking impact of his brother’s words.

Then his senses returned to him, and he smoothed his face into it’s regular sheet of ice, staring at his brother coldly as he said ‘I wish someone had informed me of this sooner so that I would not have wasted all my time worrying about you.’

Inuyasha’s head sprang up, some of his hair break free from the rest and moving to fall in front of his face like the silken strands of spider-webs as he stared at Sesshomaru with wide eyes. And Sesshomaru, giving no time for second thoughts to enter into his mind, strode forcefully forward, closing the last few feet between him and Inuyasha, before grabbing Inuyasha by the shoulders and saying ‘Do not ever think again to know what I want if you are going to be so dense about it!’ And then pulling his mate down into a powerful, bruising kiss before Inuyasha had the time to react.

Sesshomaru pulled back a moment later, Inuyasha trembling in his grip, his lips red and swollen from his abuse, his eyes staring up at him with uncertainty and distrust-- though it was more directed at what Inuyasha himself was feeling and not the intentions behind his brother’s actions-- as Sesshomaru moved his hand up, brushing the hair and haori around Inuyasha’s neck aside, and touching the bite-mark residing on Inuyasha’s shoulder.

Inuyasha’s body jerked and a whimper escaped without his consent as an intense wave of heat blended with pleasure rushed through him at his mate’s touch there, and he looked up to find Sesshomaru’s face right in front of his own, their noses nearly touching as Sesshomaru’s lips began to move, mere inches from his own.

‘If I did not want you, Inuyasha, would I have given you this?’ He asked, gently prodding the marking, sending another bolt of heat through his mate, and at that moment both youkai concluded that the mark must be very sensitive to it’s maker’s touch. ‘More importantly’ he said, gently reaching down to grab Inuyasha’s hand, ignoring the faint traces of abrasions made by whatever had restrained his brother, and drawing it up toward his own neck, placing the tentative and reluctant fingers on the mark there as the heat now washed through Sesshomaru’s body. ‘If I did not want you, would I have allowed you to mark me?’ He asked, his eyes smouldering pools of golden ice melted and Inuyasha was falling into them.

He opened his mouth to speak, though what he had planned to say was beyond him, as his words were lost and devoured within Sesshomaru’s own, his brother silencing him with tongue and teeth.

When Sesshomaru pulled back, Inuyasha’s eyes had drifted down to half-mast, and he had relaxed slightly in his brother’s grip.

‘I do not want you, Inuyasha.’ He said calmly, gently but firmly, letting his tongue slip out to caress Inuyasha’s oh-so-sensitive ears that he was growing more and more fond of as Inuyasha tensed slightly in his grip, his body still trembling. ‘I need you. You are my mate, and I will be damned if I am willing to let an ignorant fool such as Naraku take you away from me.’

Inuyasha trembled again, and bit his lip, wanting to believe his brother, but still slightly frightened-- not that Naraku’s words were true-- but that he would wake up and find out that this had all been a dream. Find that he was still in the forest with Naraku-- or worse-- wake to find that none of this had happened at all.

Tentatively, his reached his hand toward Sesshomaru’s face, his eyes stained with tears and emotion, and Sesshomaru remained still, willing to let his brother explore his face if that was what he needed right now.

However, before Inuyasha could do it, he felt a pain shoot through his body, and he winced and grimaced, pulling his hand away as he cast a glare down at his body, then glancing back up at Sesshomaru.

‘My ass hurts.’ He said softly, and Sesshomaru blinked, and then, for the first time since this whole thing had begun-- perhaps for the first time in longer than that-- he felt the corners of his lips tug up in a small, but genuine smile.

END ~*~

Glossary

Inu - (Not in the story itself) Dog

Hanyou - Half-demon

Onegai - Please. A more elaborate version of it can sometimes translate into “I beg of you!”

Youkai - Demon

Nani - What? ~*~

A\N: Again, I have the names listed below, and it is likely that Inu is going to be pregnant, so I’m still asking around for help.

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions, I’ll keep them in mind, but I don’t know what one’s I’ll use. I’m thinking that we might need to focus more on a boy’s name now cause I’ve gotten so many suggestions (via email and reviews) for girl’s names and I’ll need some time to think about them.

So, again, the names I have up for suggestion:

Inuko - (Has to be at the top ^_^) Means Dog-Child, and could be for a boy or a girl

Hikaru - Light: this is a boys name (I believe) but I suppose it could be used for a girl as well

Nanashi - I don’t know how much I like this name-- it sounds evil It means “Without name“ - Boy or Girl

Kenaku - Swordsman, obviously a males

Gina - Silvery (Think I picked this out because Inuyasha and Sesshomaru have silver hair ^_^) Female

Tsukiko - Female - means Moon Child

Suzume - Sparrow - female (again, this one I just liked the sound of)

Yuki - male - snow or luck

Gininu - Another one I’m unsure of, but, according to a friend of mine who hasn’t turned out to be entirely reliable in the past, it means silver dog. Actually, it’s a little strange if you try and pronounce it out loud. The “Gin” I’m pretty sure is the same as from “Ginkotsu” which means silver bones andor silver skeleton. Something along those lines.

Moriko - Female - Forest child (Picked it out cause Inuyasha’s so fond of trees and all that ^_^)

Hotaru - Firefly - Female

Katana - Female - (Yep this is an actual name, not just a word) it means Sword andor Blade

Aki - Autumn andor bright - It’s male and female

Akiko - Autumn child - This one’s just female (for reasons I do not know). Picked these 2 out because I like autumn. ^_^. It’s a tie between it and spring for best season.

Naomi - Female - Above all beauty (I always liked the name Naomi, so why not?)

Akira - Male - Intelligencebrightness

Amaya - Female - Night rain. A lot of people seem to use this name in their stories for some reason. It sounds kind of depressing if you know it’s meaning.

As well as ones given by the reviewers:

-Kyo
-Keitaro
-Satoshi
-Souji
-Leyu - Girl

-Ryukoku - Girl

-Himiko - Girl

-Tomiko. - Girl
-Ryoushin - Boy

-Hiruka - Boy

-Yoshi - Boy

-Tooru - Boy

-Shiro - Boy

-Reano - Boy

-Shiori - Boy

-Yuri or Yurii - Boy

-Kyoshi

-Miko

-Gin - Girl - Silver

-Shinsei - Divinity\Pure\Dignity

-Yogen - Promise

-Izayoi - Female (Obviously) and didn’t we just have a big thing about her name a little while ago? Lol, I’m still unsure entirely what it means, but it’s something to do with the zodiac I think.

Hiro - Boy

Juri - Girl

That’s about it for now, so let me know what you think, any more suggestions welcome, but hopefully we’re coming to an area so that we can begin selecting from the options. I have actually decided that I’m going to go with ten names (not that that means that there’s going to be ten kids, but) 5 male and 5 female so let me know your opinions and we’ll see what turns up. ^_^

Also, so far (from the list of my names, not suggested names) the ones that have been selected a couple of times have been Inuko (always at the top and likely will be used ^_^) Gina, Tsukiko, Hikaru, Midori, Aki, Naomi, and anything but Nanashi. So that’s just something to think about. ^_^

Now that I think about it, though, I might have opened this up too soon. I’m not even out of the rape angst yet! And it takes at least two weeks for a dog to start to show real signs of pregnancy, let alone a human... and I don’t even want to think about how long it would take for a male or a demon! ^_^