InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Whispers Behind Rice Paper Walls ❯ chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5: A night of trust and truth:

 

The rays of the mid-morning sun filtered through the window, escorting the merry songs of the many birds inhabiting the well-groomed gardens of the Home of the West into the Lord's office.

 

The great Lord himself was seated behind the lacquered low table he had used for centuries to oversee the ruling of his lands. Well, at least the rare times he had been there.

 

He was a warrior. Sitting on silken cushions while drowning in miles of insipid treaties and situation rapports about crops and borders had always left him with a sour taste in his mouth, and a nearly irresistible need to clean the ink marring the annoying scrolls with blood or acid, depending on his mood.

 

A distasteful snort escaped him as he gazed at the heap neatly stacked at his left side, pondering about the usefulness of it all.

 

Reaching out, he took the first paper on the top of the pile and began to read, resisting the urge to melt the offending slim sheet of parchment. No doubt his dokkasu would leave a stain on the tatami floor.

 

He sighed. He was a warrior, but not a messy one. Those mats were decades old, and he didn't like to waste anything, even for one of his sudden bouts of bad temper. He would have to find something else to vent his frustration on.

 

Lost in his musings about what activity he would indulge himself in later on, he nearly jumped when a soft knock on the shoji screen broke the silence of the room.

 

After a slight quiver of his nostrils to identify the unusual visitor, he made his acquiescence known, and the rice paper door slid to the side, making way for a flustered and highly annoyed miko, nearly hidden behind the haphazard pile of scrolls and parchment in her arms, not unlike the one behind his own desk.

 

“Good morning, Sesshomaru-sama,” she uttered absently, bowing as much as possible in her current condition and waiting for his authorisation to sit down.

 

It never came. After a few minutes, she huffed again and let her burden fall to the ground, unable to carry its weight any longer.

 

“What ails you, Miko?” he finally asked, tone bored and gaze far away.

 

She knew now what this particular tone implied. He was displeased with her, obviously, but was letting her have a chance to overcome his irritation by explaining herself, which she hastily did.

 

“How did you manage until now, my Lord? This place is a mess.” Her fists to her hips, arms akimbo, she met his now raised eyebrow with one of her own.

 

“Explain,” he intoned, not quite pleased with what she was implying.

 

“All these,” she waved at the heap at her feet angrily, “are the records of food and supply stocks; just a language thing of this estate, with listings about the staff and other more menial matters. I know it's none of your business to take care of those, but how is it that the walls of this home are still standing upright when this... stuff... is taken care of with this lack of efficiency? You're loosing money over this, Sesshomaru-sama, and goods are spoiled because the job is not well done. You employ something like twice what would be needed for such a place. I know you are a more rigorous person than this, so this can't be your own doing, so who is in charge of this?”

 

She had to breathe at some point of her endless prattling, so he took the offered opportunity to interrupt it with a raised hand and a glare. He pointed at a pillow in front of the low table and demanded that she sit. She did so with another angry snort.

 

“This is not of this Sesshomaru's concern,” he said after a while, “but if you insist, I can ask my mother to have a look at it with you.”

 

Her eyes widened critically.

 

“Oh... I didn't want to imply... I mean, she looks as capable as you... not that I would be a good judge in the matter... I mean... oh crap, I'm sorry Sesshomaru-sama. I didn't want to insult or offend your honourable mother.” She blushed a dark shade of crimson and shut her undisciplined mouth with a loud snap.

 

“It is not usually her role either, Kagome. But she would know about youkai eating habits better than you, I surmise.” He looked at her thoughtfully, a slight frown marring his smooth features. “Now, if you would tell this Sesshomaru the true reason for your presence here?

 

Her soft lower lip disappeared behind her teeth as she nibbled at it nervously.

 

“But it was my reason-”

 

“No,” he interrupted her, “you know I do not take care of the household, and yet you barge in here, taking of my precious time with your concerns about such things. Why did you seek this Sesshomaru's presence?” he wondered aloud, studying the emotions passing through her eyes as he spoke.

 

Embarrassment, anger... and then the deep sadness that had been already evident in her scent when she had entered the room. Tears brimmed in the corner of her cerulean orbs now, and he discovered he didn't like it one bit. He decided he would do what he never did usually. He repeated himself, talking with a softer tone of voice:

 

“What ails you, Miko?”

 

Suddenly, she was finding the dark wood of the table fascinating.

 

“Is he ever going to forgive me?” she asked in a small voice. She seemed so vulnerable in this instant. He felt the ludicrous urge to take her in his lap and comfort her as he would have done with little Rin.

 

If he had been less of a control freak, he would have done just that. He chose to sigh instead.

 

“And for what, pray tell? You have done nothing wrong.” The statement was final and brooked no place for argumentation.

 

She disagreed anyway.

 

“Of course I've done something wrong! What I... we... yesterday... Aaargh! You know what I mean, damn it!” In her desperate bout of fury, she flailed her arms above her head, erecting a strong barrier around them.

 

He lifted an inquisitive eyebrow.

 

“What we did in the hot spring yesterday was wrong Sesshomaru! It was highly improper! I'm to be married to your brother, for the Kamis' sake!” she was nearly screaming now, her voice high pitched and her breathing erratic.

 

“Calm yourself at once,” he demanded calmly. Inside, he felt anything but calm, realising the state of distress she was in. She had hidden it quite well, appearing normal to every other inhabitant of the castle, but now she was letting it all out, her pupils contracting to small pinpoints in the oceans of her dark blue irises, her hands trembling by her side.

 

She was going to break if he didn't react, and fast.

 

In a fluid flurry of silk and silver hair, he went beside her and snaked his arms around her shaking form, pulling her close against his un-armoured chest. She didn't resist him, nor did she acknowledge the position she was in now.

 

All her muscles were tensed beyond what was natural, and her breaths were shallow. She was whimpering in fright and sorrow, conscious enough to be mortified about what she was going through but not possessing enough strength to overcome it on her own.

 

“For the moment, your impending wedding has been cancelled, has it not? So what happened yesterday evening is no one's concern. It was something you and I had to do, it is as simple as that. We have a mission. And I am sure you know why we have to go to these lengths to succeed.” The rumble of his smooth baritone was progressively helping her out of her state of shock, and she sighed, a long, deep and relieved exhalation.

 

“We have to protect Rin,” she croaked, relaxing minutely.

 

“Indeed. And now, do tell me why you would feel something as useless as guilt over a necessary deed when my half-breed of a brother was unfaithful to you while you were still away? Or have you forgotten already?” He sounded truthfully curious.

 

She crawled out of his lap, her body having stopped its shaking.

 

“Of course I forgive him. I was blocked on the other side of the well, and he couldn't have known I was going to come back. He had five centuries to wait, for all he knew. Even I could not wait that long without... hum... without it. This kind of urge can not stay unheeded for that long, and I know it.” She was staring at the table again, her words ringing with truth, but sadness still blending with her soft voice.

 

“Is the `true love' humans like to gloat about so much this fickle? I see I was right again to consider such as a weakness.”

 

“Love is not a weakness!” she retorted angrily.

 

“I believe True Love is indeed far from being a fault. But I don't think human beings are capable of such. If Inuyasha was feeling this way about you, three years or five centuries alike would mean nothing. He would have waited, if he had been stronger,” he explained, matter-of-factly.

“You really don't like him, do you?” she asked rhetorically.

 

“I do not hate Inuyasha. But I will not hide what is obvious to me. Youkais do live differently from humans because the passing of time is not the same to them. I have lived eight-hundred years, and yet I am still young by youkai standards.”

 

“Hm. I hear you, but I think there's something else you're neglecting. There is more than your share of wisdom amongst human kind too. You can not forget I know of the future, and of the advanced civilization humans are going to create.” She looked at him expectantly, all her focus sucked into the discussion. He felt pleased that she would forget her distress in favour of their interaction.

 

“You live many lives,” he stated simply, knowing she was aware of the endless cycle of reincarnations.

 

“And youkais do not?” she was suddenly very curious.

 

“No,” he replied, “we are already pure spirits. We do not need to purge ourselves of our faults before attaining the higher state of consciousness.”

 

A very unladylike snort erupted from her otherwise pampered person.

 

“Yet, loads of youkais are aggressive and evil bastards, living only for power or to hurt others, plotting behind screens to murder the ones in their way. How is that, for 'higher' beings?” She frowned.

 

“Our very nature calls for power, Kagome. We are more aware than mortals, but we often forget that we share the same plane of existence. Only the ones that are somehow reminded of this fact remain for as long as my father lived. The others just disappear and go back to the source of all Life. Loads of youkais personify the baser emotions of humans, like grief or jealousy. They are the embodiment of evil, thus beginning with an obvious handicap. They do not understand the emotions that compose their cores.” He was now sitting as casually as one such as he could, back still ramrod straight but legs crossed and arms resting in front of him in a relaxed manner.

 

“Speaking of which... I still haven't found any evidence of deceit in the ranks of the concubines. I'm a little perplexed, Sesshomaru. After all, why is it that all of this was so carefully set up and you still could identify those inus' scents? Was it not some attempt to mislead you and wreak havoc amongst your own ranks, spreading suspicion between you and your court?”

 

He never would show her how much he was pleased with her at this very instant.

 

“This Sesshomaru thought of this eventuality, Miko. I have already sent scouts into the other Lords' strongholds to enquire about possible threats from the outside. Nevertheless, it is possible that the others in this palace do not trust you enough to confide in you. It might take a little more time.”

 

“Yes, I understand this. The servants have begun to lighten up in my presence, seeing that I work for them, trying to organise this damn place better and all. But the other courtesans are wary of me. They don't act natural. Anyway, I think they are too lazy and stupid to do anything that cunning. You might want to watch the others inhabitants of your den more closely, like the nobles and the high ranking soldiers.”

 

“Speaking about the army.... there is something I haven't told you, about the possible roles of a concubine such as you.” He looked a little uncomfortable suddenly. Well, to be precise, he looked like an iceberg with indigestion. Cold and blank, but squeamish deep inside. Unconsciously, the young miko's hackles rose.

 

“Sesshomaru?” she asked warily, a sense of foreboding invading her.

 

“You see, when the Lord loses interest in one of the courtesans, it is custom that the higher ranked warriors are allowed to... use their services.” His full lips turned down and he frowned, obviously displeased with this particular tradition.

 

“Onii-san?” she nearly shrieked, making him flinch internally at the high pitched sound.

 

“It only means that you'll have to continue sleeping in my quarters every two nights. Not to do so would imply I grow bored of your... attentions.” He studied her reaction closely. He knew she had been wishing to stop being too close to him after what had transpired in the bath house. Their plan could just not allow it.

 

“I imagine the soldiers would be far more rough than you have been,” she stated thoughtfully.

 

His eyes widened infinitesimally. Was she implying she would be willing to go to the rude troops? He couldn't begin to imagine what she would go through at their hands, this innocent and pure young human miko, their sworn enemy.

 

“You'd better avoid going to the barracks, Kagome; I cannot guarantee your virtue there,” he warned.

 

“What would I care anyway? Inuyasha thinks I'm a whore who sleeps with his half-brother,” she muttered dejectedly.

 

“You are not a whore,” he growled, feeling angrier at her statement that he should have felt.

 

“You nearly took my innocence when I don't even love you, Sesshomaru. You kissed me and we were naked. How am I supposed to feel, when I was supposed to be preparing my marriage only a few days ago? I feel so filthy.” She was so red in embarrassment that he fought the urge to look at her toes to verify their colour.

 

“You think too much, human. Do I have to repeat myself again? It was necessary at the time. You know it, I know it, and yet you still feel guilty? What kind of foolishness is this, Kagome?” He sounded really pissed this time, and she knew he truly waited for an explanation.

 

She began to shake again, and an abrupt epiphany hit him so hard that he nearly grunted in realisation. He turned to look at the wall again, avoiding the sight of the pitiful creature sobbing helplessly at his feet.

 

“It's not what we made that makes me feel like an unfaithful bitch. I trust you, and I know that it meant nothing to you. It was just a means to an end, wasn't it…?” she trailed off.

 

When she resumed speaking, it was in a mere murmur. “Why is it, then, that I liked it so much?” she asked him.

 

How could he answer the very question he had been asking himself since that fateful night?