InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Wicked ❯ Sins of the Father ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 9: Sins of the Father

Kagome eyed her surroundings suspiciously, very aware that Mattaki was out there somewhere. She knew her limitations – and escaping the powerful dai was beyond her capabilities.

Oh, not that she couldn't give him a run for his money, yes, she could do that very well – but eventually, he would catch her, and she knew it. That was why she was very aware that it was only by his will that she had so far escaped him, and managed to get back to the village outskirts. He had let her go.

Part of her was disappointed by that – she had enjoyed the thrill of being hunted by a beautiful male such as he, but most of her was just glad that she had escaped – she was in no mood to be dominated by an overbearing youkai that was more arrogant than Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru put together. She rolled her eyes at that thought – they truly were their father's sons.

And then her mind went back to the reason she had been so determined to get back here, and she immediately put aside all thoughts of the predator on her tail, and headed straight for Kaede's hut, somehow knowing that that was where she would find Kikyou.

It used to be... she laughed to herself, the irony in her thoughts not lost on her, just a week ago, that if Inuyasha needed to be comforted, it would be me that did it. It was once... my place. But not anymore, and I can't let my awkward feelings about that keep me from doing what's right. He needs... her.

She sighed, still not comfortable with the discomfort of that fact – or that it wasn't pain, but just simple discomfort. Everything had changed within one moment to the next, and her mind just hadn't had the chance to catch up. A bittersweet feeling settled into her as she approached Kaede's hut – now she wasn't even sure she felt comfortable there... after all, Kaede was Kikyou's sister, and Kagome... well, Kagome was nothing more than an encroachment now.

Clamping down on those feelings, she sighed and tapped on the door frame – something she hadn't done since the early days of the shard hunt, but now felt compelled to do. With Kaede's voice beckoning, she pushed aside the matting and stepped inside, smiling half-heartedly at the group of people within.

She bowed to everyone. “Ohayo, Kaede-sama.” She glanced around and caught Kikyou's eye, then nodded at her. “Uhm... Kikyou, could I... talk to you?”

The older miko looked surprised, but nodded, not willing to deny Kagome much of anything, since it was due to her overly large heart that she'd been given a second – or was that third – chance at life. Standing, she followed Kagome out of the hut, not missing the odd, concerned glances shared between the rest of the group.

Kagome led her towards the edge of the village, taking a seat on a rise above the rice paddies to the south, and waited for the other woman to sit beside her. She drew her knees up, and clasped her arms around them, staring out across the landscape with a solemn look on her face.

After a few moments of reflection, she said, “I think... that-” she was cut off by the sound of Kikyou's voice.

“Kagome, please, don't say you are leaving! That's not it, is it? You... you need to be here with us – Inuyasha still needs you, you know that, right?”

A surprised look settled on Kagome's face as she stared at her pre-incarnation with her mouth practically hanging open. After a moment she shook her surprise off, and spoke. “No – that's not it, Kikyou – I'm not leaving. I have a duty to find the rest of the shikon, it's my fault it was broken in the first place,” she sighed, looking away again. “I can't leave others to clean up my mess.”

Kikyou looked pained. “Is... is that the only reason you think you should be here?” she asked, saddened.

Kagome shook her head, an uncertain look in her eyes. “I don't know, anymore, really. After all, you're alive now – and you are more of a miko than I ever was.” She waved off the guilt in the miko's expression. “But like I said, that's not it. I... well, Mattaki had me there when he talked to Inuyasha – you know, about what happened a couple of days ago. And Inu's pretty upset. He left to go think some more, but he wants to leave tomorrow. I thought... I should tell you, so that you could talk to him – he needs comforting.”

Cocking her head, Kikyou looked at the young woman with a frown, and sighed inwardly. This was so awkward. “You could have done that for him, Kagome – he knows you in some ways better than me, because he's spent a lot more time with you.” She chuckled at the surprised look on Kagome's face. “Inuyasha and I only knew each other for a little less than a year. You've known him for two, and have been much closer, as well, than I ever allowed him to get to me.”

A sad smile washed across Kagome's face, then, and Kikyou actually felt pained at the poignancy of it. It was a look that should never be seen on her. “It's not my place anymore, Kikyou, and we both know that. When Mattaki offered to bring you back, and you and Inuyasha accepted, his choice was made. I agreed to Mattaki's offer for two reasons, and I knew the moment that he made it that it signified the death knell of any relationship between he and I.”

“What were your reasons?” Kikyou asked, suddenly needing to know.

Kagome flashed her a small smile. “One, you deserved a second chance – you had done nothing to deserve what Naraku had done to you, and this was a way to right that wrong-” a sudden flash of amusement flashed through her eyes, “-while pissing Naraku off.”

Kikyou laughed aloud at that, knowing it was true. The hanyou was probably livid. “And the second?”

“Inuyasha loves you, and I don't want to ever see him hurt. I will always do whatever I can to keep that from happening.”

“Even if that means he is not with you?”

“Even if that means he is not with me,” she confirmed. And then her expression soured. “Besides – it seems I have my own dog to worry about – and he refuses to leave me alone. I wonder if there's a way to detach a determined inu from one's person?” she wondered aloud, her finger tapping her chin.

A peal of laughter sounded from next to her, and Kagome chuckled in response. “No, I don't think there is, Kagome. From what I've seen, Inu are the most stubborn beings alive, and once they've claimed something, they never let it go. I think you're stuck.” She shot an amused look in her reincarnation's direction at her irritated growl. “Though I daresay, if anyone could out-stubborn one, and get away, it would be you. After all, if worst comes to worst, you could always go through the well.”

Kagome sighed, then, and shook her head. “Nope, can't do that – somehow, that damn stubborn dog can get through the well – you should have seen how much that pissed Inuyasha off.”

Kikyou looked very surprised at that, then frowned as she thought about it. “That should not be possible... unless...” she flicked a glance at Kagome, “... you really are part of him, as he says. It would need that close of a bond. The well sees him the same as you – one being.”

Scowling, Kagome shot a dirty look into the trees off to the side, knowing very well that Mattaki was somewhere within them keeping a watchful eye on her. “Yeah, well, I don't care what the well or anyone else thinks. I'm a little too stubborn myself to just roll over and give in because that guy says so.”

With a nod, Kikyou dropped it there. “As for the previous subject, I'll try to talk to him tomorrow as we travel – perhaps he'll be willing to vent some of his frustration and upset. Though you do know that a great deal of his stress is over the whole situation with his father's desire for you, do you not?”

“Sure... but Inuyasha is also going to have to learn to let go, Kikyou,” she said softly. “He can't be my protector anymore – that's what he is for you now. I'll take care of myself.”

“And if you fail?”

She shrugged. “Then I fail. The consequences would be on my own head, and not Inuyasha's. If I die, then I die.”

Kikyou frowned inwardly, worried, but not wanting to say anything. Oh, she wasn't worried about Kagome getting hurt or killed – the Inu no Taisho would never allow that, and she knew it. As did everyone else. But... she was a girl that had no real working knowledge of youkai, besides what she had gathered from her time here – and truthfully, that hadn't been much.

She had no clue just what she was in for with her new suitor.

Because the fact of the matter was that she wouldn't be able to escape the daiyoukai no matter what she did.

That should have been evident when she'd found him on her side of the well, because if even time couldn't stop him...

There was very little else that could.

And that was not good news, because she was positive that Inuyasha was still determined to try, no matter what Kagome said.

-wWw-

Keh. I can't believe that all these years – over a hundred – Sesshoumaru's been hating on me for something that wasn't even my fault... and lying about the reasons. Because I was half human, he huffed. And it was all bullshit.

The hanyou wrapped himself a little tighter around his sword, staring off into the dying light of day at the lake shimmering before him. He often came here when he needed to be totally alone – when he didn't want any of the others to track him down. The tree he was in was situated just perfectly to stare out at the lake with no obstructions, and even leaned a bit at an angle away from the view – making it kind of like that re-klin-er from Kagome's house.

It was a comforting place for him – and right now, he desperately needed that sense of safety, familiarity, and comfort that it provided, because too much was happening for him to be able to handle all at once. It was bad enough, finding out the true history between his mother, his father, and his brother – gods, that sounded bad, even to him – but then there was the added stress of readjusting to a living Kikyou.

And then, on top of that, came his father's obsession with Kagome. Just the thought of that made him physically ill, and he couldn't stand to even think ahead on this one, and imagine what would soon be happening between the two if he couldn't figure out a way to free Kagome from his father's presence.

In that, Sesshoumaru had been little help – though he had soon figured, from the younger dai's own actions, that the way to break this claim was to challenge Mattaki for her. Unfortunately, there would be little point in doing so – in order to break the claim, he, Inuyasha, would have to win... and there was no way he could.

Despite his stubborn and brash temperament, he wasn't a fool, and attacking a male of his father's power would be nothing but suicidal. If he thought it would save Kagome, then he'd do it anyway – but it wouldn't. He'd simply be defeated, and the older male's claim would remain. So that idea was pointless.

His brow furrowed, then, as something occurred to him. What about Sesshoumaru's mother? She had been his father's mate... so...

He perked up a little. Maybe she'd be of some help in this... after all, if his previous mate was still alive, could the male really still claim another? But how would one go about finding her? He'd never met her, nor seen hide nor hair of her. So where did she live?

Well, despite the inherent problems with that possible solution, it was definitely worth thinking about – maybe he wouldn't even need the old bitch herself – he could simply mention the concept of the older inu female to Kagome, and watch her question his father on it. It was a good bet Kagome wasn't about to step on anyone's toes, and since she was fighting this whole thing anyways...

This was the perfect excuse.

Of course, what he didn't realize was that his father, and Sesshoumaru's mother, were no longer mated – since his father had died, and stayed that way for two hundred years, any bond that had existed was long since gone. Not that there had ever been anything more than politics and a son between the two, anyway, but Inuyasha didn't know that.

His mood began to sour again as he thought of his father'd disgusting desires for Kagome. He, despite being a virgin, was not a fool, and he was fully aware of what the damn male wanted – he'd wanted that from her, too, for a long time. Despite his past with Kikyou, he had feelings for Kagome, too, and she was a very pretty woman, with a very nice body, that he had caught sight of several times. Not too many males could be exposed to Kagome, and not want her, unless they were pansies, like Jakotsu. He shuddered at that thought. Not memories he really wanted to go over.

He gazed out unseeingly over the beauty before him, lost in pained and confused thoughts, everything in his mind cycling around again to the Kikyou/Kagome conundrum. Everyone just assuming that his choice had been made because Kikyou was now living, made him angry. He hadn't even thought of her being brought back as because he wanted to be with her – it was simply because he didn't want her to die. It wasn't fair that she'd suffered so much at Naraku's hands – not once, but twice. True, he didn't feel as though he could just abandon her, he had promised her, after all, and she was in even more danger now.

But... that didn't mean that he could just stop loving Kagome. He really hoped that Kikyou understood that and wouldn't get all upset at him because his heart was torn. He didn't like this feeling any more than anyone else – it would be a whole lot easier and less painful for him if he could love only one or the other.

Unfortunately, unless he could get rid of that bastard that had sired him, he wouldn't have to make any choice – because Kagome would be taken the moment the manipulative male could get his claws permanently into her. It would be the final straw if he had to acknowledge one of the women he loved as his father's mate – and his step-mother. His life was already messed up enough, he didn't need that added to it.

No one seemed to understand that though he saw Kagome and Kikyou as different entities, deep down, the fact that they shared a soul bothered him. It would really be difficult to see Kagome go to anyone else – because he felt that her soul and his were tied together, no matter the incarnation. The thought that her soul would move on to someone else, proved that the love her felt for her, wasn't matched by her own. He felt as though that soul was his own soul's mate – but Kagome being with anyone else would give the lie to that statement. It was one of the most painful parts of his own personal hell.

And no matter how he tried to look at the situation, he couldn't get rid of those thoughts – or how hurt they made him feel.

Even knowing that expecting Kagome to languish alone was selfish, didn't help. Oh, he knew that he would never deny her happiness, and if she came to him and wanted his blessing to be with another, he'd never try to keep her, but it would definitely kill something inside him – and with the way things were going, there really wasn't much of him left to kill. If he had to think of the least painful way for him to get through this, it would be for him to marry Kikyou here, and send Kagome home – and then go to her in the future, once Kikyou had passed on.

But that was a bad option, and he knew it – Kagome would never go for it. And truthfully, he knew it wasn't fair to her. He sighed bitterly. There really was no way out of this for him – either way, he was never going to stop hurting over this.

It made him wish that he'd never been born... what was that saying – the sins of the father? Yeah... it was the truth, too. His whole life had been spent paying for his father's sin in bedding a human. Hanyou filth, they'd always whispered. You should not be allowed to live. Hearing it had always hurt so much – it wasn't like he'd asked to be born.

Kagome was the only one who'd never said, or even thought, those words. She'd given all of herself, doing everything she could to see him happy, and with an almost anguished look in his golden eyes, he knew that he would return the favor. Whatever she chose to do in life, he would support and encourage her – and with that, the only way he could do so, was to let her go. He would only hold her back – and he knew it.

He let his head fall back against the trunk of the tree as he had to fight the urge to cry at the feeling of loss inside – as though a part of what made him who he was had just been torn away. It hurt so much...

But it was the only thing he could do to repay her for everything she'd done for him.

No matter how he felt about it, he would be strong.

Of course, there was still the matter of his father... he would do whatever he could to protect her from the older male, without question.