InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ With or Without You ❯ Chapter Four: Reflections ( Chapter 4 )

With or Without You

By: inuyashas-dark-angel

Rating: PG-13 (Language, Content)

Genres: Drama/Romance

Summary: It's been four years since they've seen each other...since she had his child and he abandoned her.  When they meet again will they reach amends for the sake of their child or will sparks fly?

 

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Disclaimer: I don't own any aspect of this fic, except for the plot. All characters affiliated to Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ.

 

A/N primary: This chapter has ALREADY been posted on ff.net and animespiral, more than two months ago. So to those mediaminer readers please ignore the other a/ns please and thank you.

 

A/N: I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY!!!! I know you've all been waiting for so long and thank you for being patient…I hope I haven't lost anybody. This chapter has just really given me a hell of a time…my muse, Mariel, decided to take a vacation on me right when I needed her most. Please forgive the delay…and I also apologize for the fact that this chapter will be a little short compared to previous chapters…but I promise chapter five will be super long.

 

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(Cont'd from Chapter Three:

Moments later, the elevator dinged and the shaft opened. Kagome was so immersed in her filing she paid no heed to whoever had come in.

 

“Kagome?”

 

“Her head shot up and looked at the one who'd just called her name, “Sota?”)

 

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Chapter Four: Reflections

 

“Sota, what are you doing here?”

 

“I'm Musuo's apprentice, what are you doing here?”

 

“I'm the replacement secretary,” For moments, neither sibling stirred but that was broken when Kagome stood up and approached her brother, “My god…four years….you're practically an adult now.” Her eyes became glassy with tears, “It feels like I haven't seen you for eternities,”

 

Sota hesitated but then pulled his sister into a brief embrace which she openly returned, “I would have tried to find you but mother…”

 

“She still thinks me a disgrace and whore?”

 

“Actually I don't know…just at the mention of you she breaks down, so I really couldn't tell you. After she kicked you out, I developed a sense of hate and resentment against her. I detested her for what she'd done and I began running away from home, missing curfew…until she cracked down and sent me to military school for a year. When I got back I told her I'd find you once I was out of school,”

 

“But here you are…you're in your junior year now?”

 

“Yeah,”

 

“And you were twelve when that all happened….I'm sorry you went through that,”

 

“Not as sorry I am for you…so how'd it all go? When you left and all…”

 

“Sango's mom took me in and I dropped out of school three weeks into the pregnancy because of all the nasty rumors. Finally I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and she's grown into one of the most wonderful four year olds ever,”

 

“Mama,” a voice called out.

 

They turned towards the open glass doors. “Mimi,” Kagome responded softly.

 

“Mr. Yasha and Uncle Miroku want me to ask you if everything's okay,”

 

“Everything's fine Mimi, thank you. Come here for a moment sweetheart, I want you to meet someone.” Yumiko toddled over and reached up to her mother. Kagome picked the child up and faced her toward Sota. “Well, this is my daughter, Yumiko Amaya Higurashi,”

 

“`Yumiko', child of beauty…quite suiting; who picked her name?”

 

“Sango's mom….it was the least I could do for all she'd done for me,”

 

“Mama,”

 

“Yes, honey…well, Mimi, this is your Uncle Sota,”

 

“Is he your cousin too?”

 

“No, he's my brother,”

 

“How come I've never met you before?”

 

Sota looked to Kagome as if to ask if he should give Yumiko the actual explanation. Kagome nodded almost imperceptibly and Sota went on, “Well Yumiko, your grandmother, your mama's and my mother, didn't want me to see you or your mama,”

 

“Did we do something wrong? Did I say something? Did Mama have a fight with her?” She paused for a moment, “Or does it have to do with the birds and the bees?”

 

Kagome and Sota's eyes widened at the comment. What had possessed little Mimi to come up with that comment? “Yumiko,” Kagome started warningly but the child paid no heed to her.

 

“Or maybe because I don't have a daddy!”

 

Kagome's eyes glistened with a new thin curtain of tears, “Mimi, please,” She couldn't believe her daughter's sudden burst of anger.

 

“What's going on out here? Kag, all I heard was Yumiko scream,” Miroku came out from the still open conference room. Kagome fought desperately against her threatening tears but no avail. One…two…three droplets trickled down her cheek. “Give me Yumiko. The bathroom's right next to the elevator.” Miroku accepted the child and Kagome made a dash for the bathroom.

 

“Miroku?”

 

“Sota,” The cousins looked at one another for a brief moment, “What don't we chat inside?”

 

“Sure,”

 

Once through the glass doors, Miroku sat Yumiko on the chair he had been sitting on just minutes ago, “Be a good girl until I get back,” He turned to Inuyasha, “Is my office ready yet?”

 

“I think they're still assembling your furniture,”

 

“May I use yours then?”

 

“Go right ahead,”

Miroku nodded and led Sota into Inuyasha's office, closing the door and partition that divided the two offices. “So…how've you been?” he asked as they each took a seat.

 

“I'm doing pretty well, thanks…how `bout you?”

 

“Not bad actually,”

 

“So you are the new CEO…saw your name on the door plate when Musuo sent me up,”

 

“Speaking of Musuo, I better let him know that I'm holding you for a while,” Miroku picked up the phone from its cradle and pushed the speed dial, “Musuo…yes….I'll be holding him for a bit longer…alright….thanks,” he replaced the phone and turned back to Sota. “I'd prefer to hold you back to catch up on lost time but there's another situation at hand to get to first and foremost. What happened out there in the reception?”

 

“Kagome introduced me to Yumiko and she asked why we'd never met. Kag gave me permission to tell Yumiko about our mother and I suppose the kid got curious and started asking crazy questions…like if she'd done or said something wrong or if Kag had been in a fight with her mother. Then she goes and asked if it had to do with the birds and the bees. It was pretty funny actually. But then came the kicker; Yumiko probably had this sudden burst of anger and yelled about not having a dad and that's where you came in,”

 

“So that's why Kagome was so upset,”

 

“I take Inuyasha never came back then?”

 

“No…but actually I have contacted him lately and…he's well regretful of the past,”

 

“He should be…putting my sister through all that torment. Though I've always wondered what his reason for leaving was.”

 

“I as well,”

 

“What could he have been afraid of? If that's his reason,”

 

“Possibly the fear of fatherhood,”

 

“But he was so good with me, when he had to watch me when Kagome and Mom were busy,”

 

“Yes, but remember, you were ten when you first met and eleven when Inuyasha and Kag started dating.”

 

“True…don't you want to get Yumiko now? I mean she did have her little outburst,”

 

“Yeah…I'll just get Inuyasha to send her in…I really don't want to get up,” Obviously Sota had taken the presumption that “Mr. Taishou” was not the on who had impregnated his sister. Miroku clicked on the phone's intercom option and prepared to speak but cut himself off and motioned for Sota to remain silent.

 

“Are you calm enough to tell me what happened?”

 

Yumiko sniffed soundly and “Mmmhmmed” in response.

 

“So why are you crying?”

 

“Because…I made Mama cry,”

 

“How'd you do that?”

 

“I yelled at her,”

 

“What'd you say?”

 

“I didn't have a daddy,”

 

A silence took over and Miroku could just tell that Inuyasha had been taken aback by the vulgarity of the comment. Moments later, speech aroused again, “Of course you have a father,”

 

“Then why isn't he with me and Mama? Everyone at school has a Mommy and a daddy, so why don't I? It's not fair!” Yumiko broke into a new set of wails.

 

The distinct sound of chair wheels along vinyl was heard closely followed by Inuyasha coaxing the forlorn child. “It's all right…nothing is every really fair. I'm sure your dad will come back soon…and…and if he doesn't, you've always got your Uncle Miroku, and everyone else.” Yumiko's sobs turned down a notch, reducing to fairly loud whimpers.

 

Miroku clicked off the intercom, his mouth curled ever-so slightly into a grin despite the fact he was beaming inside. Inuyasha would make an excellent father…now how to tell Kagome…he stood up from the desk and opened the door. From the doorway, Miroku watched his cousin slowly carry herself form the frosted glass doors into where “Mr. Taishou” and Yumiko were. It seemed that she'd also heard the conversation her boss and child had had. Kagome took the seat that her daughter had previously been occupying and tiled her head to the side. Yumiko was tucked into Inuyasha's embrace, her cheek upon his chest, tears still steadily falling down. “I'm sorry, Mama,” Came a strangled cry.

 

“It's okay, baby,” Kagome reached out to her daughter who was waiting with open arms and sat Yumiko in her lap, hugging her tightly. She kissed the top of the child's head before looking to Inuyasha and mouthing and quaint, “Thank you,”

 

Miroku slipped back into the office, shutting the door as softly as he could. “So…what else do you have to do other than mount my name plate?” he asked Sota, an apperceived glint in his eyes, a humorous tone in his voice.

 

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(Kagome P.O.V.)

 

Why do I feel so connected to this Inuyasha? It's as if I've known him forever, even though, in reality, I've only known him for a few hours…does this mean something? What is this life holding in store for me now? As long as it's not another negatively impacting event, I suppose I'll be fine…but really, what could possibly go wrong with working with…her…at Taishou Inc.? Then again, what right could happen? My life hasn't exactly been the most fortunate…

 

I remember when I was five, my father walked out…there was not apparent reason but it broke my heart just the same. As he stormed out of the house with his bags, I called out to him. I asked where he was going and why…I kept on with my interrogation, asking if I could go with him. He never answered me…but when I grabbed onto his leg and pleaded for his attention, he seemed to snap. From his leg I was pried roughly after the bags hit the floor. Held by the hair, I was slapped and beaten…I thought I was going to die…five years old and I already knew death. I heard my mother's voice and Sota's infant wails…she told my father to stop…she must have repeated herself multiple times before he finally stopped hitting me. I was let fallen to the floor before I was picked up by an overall strap and hurled into the wall…the last I saw was his face staring down at me disgustedly as he picked up his bags and stalked out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him.

 

It took thirty-seven stitches to seal the wound I suffered to the head from the impact of the wall. It took two months for me to completely heal physically. And to this day, I'm still recovering from the mental sting, and my wrenched heart…

 

Then, when I was eleven, my best friend, Kikyo, moved away…we'd been so tight ever since we were six…it wasn't until a few weeks later that I'd found out that she was actually my half-sister. There was the reason why my father had left…he'd had a family with another woman along with my own mother. I hated Kikyo for that…she'd taken away my father…and truth be told, I do believe the Kikyo I replaced here at Taishou Inc. is that same one…Miroku did say she could have passed as my twin…but that same year, I met Sango…and till this day, we're still the best of friends.

 

I suppose my life hasn't been completely unfortunate…I met Inuyasha at fourteen. I was at the peak (although I didn't know it yet) of my musical “career”. Fresh faced and prepared to take on the world…who would have thought I'd meet the father of my child at a piano and voice competition. We instantly hit it off. Then he ended up transferring to my school. Best friends (of course, I still had Sango) to the start of an intimate relationship within a year…probably the best time of my life…especially because I'd been chosen for many of the lead female roles in school musicals and Inuyasha was usually my lead male co-star.

 

Sadly, that all came to an end at the beginning of our Junior Year. After all the thoughts of being together forever and the “Most Likely Couple to Stay Together” pictures in the year books…our first time each with one another turned nightmarish. I ended up pregnant…Inuyasha dumped me like a rock…soon my own mother tossed me out…first my father then her, nearly eleven years later…then I dropped myself out of school…

 

Those nine months of pregnancy were hell. They past by slow and tediously despite all the fun I had with Sango and her mother. Finally after giving birth naturally, I felt so much more relieved. However, just to spite me, the Fates brought me into bouts of postpartum depression. I fed and nursed Yumiko; did whatever a new mother would do, but I felt no pride for it…I felt as if it were an obligation - a chore…not a life long dedication in which I'd provide for my child as if it were my only lifeline…I wanted so many times just to hurt myself for bringing a new life into the world, especially because I was only sixteen…this wasn't where I'd planned to be at this point.

 

At sixteen I'd always wanted to be in school still, preparing to receive a diploma at the end of my Senior in High School…I'd have a boyfriend and a circle of really close friends…not this…this child…this abandonment…this depression. It was as if my world had come crashing down…I had no one to turn to (or so I thought) and there was nothing for me to look forward to because I `knew' Inuyasha would never come back for me and I `knew' that my mother would never take me back. To speak it bluntly: postpartum depression is a bitch. It makes you wish you'd never lived…it makes you seem like you're the lowliest being to ever walk the Earth…it makes you believe that no one is there for you and no one cares about you or the child.

 

I must have gotten through that phase somehow…it must've been Sango and her mom…they were so supportive the whole way through - pregnancy and birth. I never want to feel that way again…it's horrible…I still look back at that and think of the monster I had been, how I wanted to hurt myself so much, how I didn't want my daughter anymore…thank my lucky stars I didn't do anything…and thank my lucky stars for Sango and her mother…

 

The years past so quickly - as it seemed - and Yumiko bloomed into a wonderful little girl…I couldn't possibly ask to be blessed with a better daughter. Despite the fact that she was so happy, I couldn't place it in my heart that she would grow up without her father…and I'm glad she never did ask about him…until now…

 

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“Ms. Higurashi,” a voice called out to her. “Ms. Higurashi,”

 

Kagome snapped out of her daze, “Hmm? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that,”

 

“Oh no, no,” Inuyasha (Mr. Taishou takes too long to type…) replied. “I was just checking to see if you were all right. You kind of zoned out there for a moment,”

 

“Oh yes…I'm fine, thank you…and please, call me Kagome, if that's okay,”

 

“Alright Ms…err…Kagome,” Inuyasha averted his gaze, “Now then…if you don't mind, there's work to be done,”

 

“Right…” Kagome stood up, Yumiko still in her arms, “Thanks again, Mr. Taishou,”

 

“Well…since we're on a first name basis, Inuyasha will do just fine, unless of course we're in a meeting,”

 

Kagome sent him a brief smile and nodded before leaving the room. She brought Yumiko into the reception area and set her down beside her backpack. “You stay here, Mimi,”

 

“Okay Mama…Mama?”

 

“Yes, sweetie?”

 

“Why did you go all weird back in the con-fer-ence room?”

 

“Just remembering something that happened a long time ago,” When Yumiko remained silent, Kagome turned and walked back to her desk.

 

Back in the conference room, Inuyasha began entering a state of bemusement himself.

 

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(Inuyasha P.O.V.)

 

<i>Kagome…Kagome…how long has it been since I've addressed you by your name? There are so many memories to your name…too many. For all the times we were happy in our teen years, I wronged you in the worst way possible…I was stupid…foolish for leaving you. To think I thought you'd be fine on your own…abandoned by your mother…having to drop out of school…it's all my fault. Maybe if I hadn't left you, everything would be different…we'd be married by now and have another child next to Yumiko. But no…it all turned out different…I had to be afraid…I had to be a pompous ass…I had to think about myself and what a child would do to MY life…I had no intentions for you at that time, but when it finally hit home…I knew what I had done you wrong of…but then I was too cowardice to even look you up in the phone book let alone come to call at your mother's home…I'm sorry…I should have thought…I shouldn't have walked away…I should have returned to you sooner…

 

If you hate me, I understand…if you can never find yourself to forgive me; that's okay. If you move on and find someone else, I'll fully respect that wish. I just hope when I do find the strength to tell you who I really am, you'll understand too…as long as you and Yumiko are happy, I'll be able to cope…I'm sorry…

 

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A/N: Wow…all this in one sitting. Anyway, like Inuyasha to Kagome, I'M SORRY AGAIN for making you wait so long for this chapter…I was just so busy this past month and then probably again this month because I'm heavily anticipating my father's marriage to Ms. Kita Parker…a.k.a. my soon to be step-mom…but I swear I will try to get back into the whole “updating every other week” thing…I hope you liked this chapter. Please review!!!! Okay, yeah, so Inuyasha seems a little OOC but the way I developed his character in this plot is how the storyline calls for him to be…so yes…if you don't like reading OOC then fine with me…haha…just kidding, I still hope you keep reading and reviewing and enjoying “With or Without You” like you are already…so until next!

 

- Claire -

 

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REVIEW RESPONSES:

 

<b>Fanfiction. Net:

 

Blue-buggy- Inuyasha and Kagome at the same company, this will be interesting. Sorry to say nothing really happened in this chapter, but I promise chapter five will have a lot of InuKag going on. Thanks!

 

Uniquechic- Thank you for your review…I hope you're still with me.

 

Allie- Thanks for the review, I really appreciated it.

 

Bubblez4ya- This is by far the most flattering review I've gotten for this fic. Thanks so much!!!! I hope I haven't lost you in the month long delay.

 

Firevixen73- Sorry…can't review soon…lol. I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting for this chapter. I hope you're still there.

 

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AnimeSpiral:

 

Elle- Thank you so much for being such a great reviewer!!!! I hope you're not too disappointed with me for taking so long to update…

 

Anoja- Thank you for the review and the compliment. I hope the “magic” keeps on coming throughout the whole of the story.

 

Anonymous- Thank you so much for the review. I am actually in the process of writing quite a few other stories; some original, and much more fan fiction. So once I actually FINISH this fic…it's onto higher limits. Thanks again!

 

Kuma- Thanks for the review!

 

Mediaminer:

 

Sailormoon90225 - Thank you. I do hope you receive my review for your fic. I hope my critique helps.

 

Kougakola - Thank you so much! And no worries, I have no intention of ceasing my writing any time soon.

 

Princess-In-Training - The reason for Inuyasha and Kagome's break-up should be in chapter one in Kagome's point of reminiscing. Thanks for the review.

 

Akihana - Two weeks was only the time for ff.net and animespiral because I've posted this fic on those sites almost 6 months prior to posting this on mediaminer. So, mediaminer is behind in my updates. Sorry for the confusion. And thank you for your review; you're welcome for the index of acronyms; and I like you thoughts of Inuyasha not risking death or mutilation. ;)

 

Chesterzerousygirl - Thank you so much for your acclaiming review!